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Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Have you ever had sexual intercourse with baked goods?
Posted by:
Biggs
()
Date: June 15, 2021 10:41AM
I just made love to a freshly made baked apple crumb fritter from Mom’s Pies. It was nice, warm and gooey. I haven’t had sex since 2012, so I’m a bit fuzzy on the details of what being in a woman actually feels like, but it seemed pretty close to the real deal.
Re: Have you ever had sexual intercourse with baked goods?
Posted by:
1997 called
()
Date: June 15, 2021 10:51AM
It wants it's American pie storyline back
Re: Have you ever had sexual intercourse with baked goods?
Posted by:
Similar To Baked Goods
()
Date: June 15, 2021 12:17PM
Back when I was younger.....
I had what I thought was a great idea. I purchase a pork roast with the intentions of partially cooking it and having sex with it. Well, I did just that, once I cut a deep slit into it and let it cool off.
I had a roommate at the time, but he was working that day, so I had the place all to myself. Once the roast cooled down enough... I FUCKED IT. Not just once, but several times! After each time I would put it back into the pan and back into the oven to stay warm.
After the 3rd or 4th time I was done with it. I needed to take a shower. I put the lid on the pan and put it back into the oven. Well, my roommate came home while I was showering. He decided to help himself to the pork roast. I didn't realize it until I was walking from the bathroom to my bedroom. He was chewing on a piece of it. I almost bit my tongue off trying not to laugh!!!
I never did tell him that he ate my fuck toy!
I had what I thought was a great idea. I purchase a pork roast with the intentions of partially cooking it and having sex with it. Well, I did just that, once I cut a deep slit into it and let it cool off.
I had a roommate at the time, but he was working that day, so I had the place all to myself. Once the roast cooled down enough... I FUCKED IT. Not just once, but several times! After each time I would put it back into the pan and back into the oven to stay warm.
After the 3rd or 4th time I was done with it. I needed to take a shower. I put the lid on the pan and put it back into the oven. Well, my roommate came home while I was showering. He decided to help himself to the pork roast. I didn't realize it until I was walking from the bathroom to my bedroom. He was chewing on a piece of it. I almost bit my tongue off trying not to laugh!!!
I never did tell him that he ate my fuck toy!
Re: Have you ever had sexual intercourse with baked goods?
Posted by:
Tinder is better
()
Date: June 15, 2021 12:40PM
This thread is just depressing. There are tons of fat women that will pay for sex and you're wasting you time with baked goods?
I've banged just about every single hot from high school class including a couple of cheerleaders that would of never talked to me in high school. Learn how to use facebook and tinder.
I've banged just about every single hot from high school class including a couple of cheerleaders that would of never talked to me in high school. Learn how to use facebook and tinder.
Re: Have you ever had sexual intercourse with baked goods?
Posted by:
Life time Democrat Voter
()
Date: June 15, 2021 01:06PM
No, but when I was younger I would bake bread sticks and use them to fuck myself up the ass. I then graduated to baking loaves of French bread and that brought things to a whole new level.
Re: Have you ever had sexual intercourse with baked goods?
Posted by:
4774D
()
Date: June 15, 2021 02:14PM
No. & Now I won't ever. I bought a love doll from realdoll & they're where it's at.
It's THAT close. They cost a lot, but they're worth it. Another feature I like is you can swap out the sex organs in the crotch. I might fuck the pussy 1 day & another day decide I want to be the girl. So I'll dress up in lingerie, put in the limp penis, suck on it a while & do a quick switcheroo to the hard 1 then suck some more. Then I grease up me & the hard penis and impale myself & ride it up & down.
The 1 thing they don't offer, though is an ejaculating penis.
Other than that, if you got the bucks, it's a good investment.
It's THAT close. They cost a lot, but they're worth it. Another feature I like is you can swap out the sex organs in the crotch. I might fuck the pussy 1 day & another day decide I want to be the girl. So I'll dress up in lingerie, put in the limp penis, suck on it a while & do a quick switcheroo to the hard 1 then suck some more. Then I grease up me & the hard penis and impale myself & ride it up & down.
The 1 thing they don't offer, though is an ejaculating penis.
Other than that, if you got the bucks, it's a good investment.