Off-Topic :
Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Finally a place for those of with stick movements to gain support. If you are constipated or suffer loose bowels feel free to contribute but dont be a fucking snob BiB about it - #ALLBOWELSMATTER
Jig Onion Wrote:
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> Crunchy or smooth?
Jig, hi and thanks for your question. Definitely Jiff Creamy. Sticks in my rectum like drywall mud. Regulars here know the story so I wont go into it but needless to say its a mess.
I love Jif Wrote:
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> What's wrong with pooping out Jif?
>
> I don't understand the problem. Peanut butter
> seems like it would come out easily. Similar to
> soft-serv ice cream (someone else can post that
> pic).
I think the peanut butter type would have a stickiness to it making it difficult to pass cleanly.
Mulligan Stew Wrote:
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> I love Jif Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > What's wrong with pooping out Jif?
> >
> > I don't understand the problem. Peanut butter
> > seems like it would come out easily. Similar
> to
> > soft-serv ice cream (someone else can post that
> > pic).
>
> I think the peanut butter type would have a
> stickiness to it making it difficult to pass
> cleanly.
The characteristic that makes poop difficult to pass is how hard it is. Crap that is soft, or even soft and sticky, will flow out of the colon very easily. It's the lack of water in hard stools that creates problems.
Choosy Starfish Choose Jiff Wrote:
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> Mulligan Stew Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I love Jif Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > What's wrong with pooping out Jif?
> > >
> > > I don't understand the problem. Peanut
> butter
> > > seems like it would come out easily. Similar
> > to
> > > soft-serv ice cream (someone else can post
> that
> > > pic).
> >
> > I think the peanut butter type would have a
> > stickiness to it making it difficult to pass
> > cleanly.
>
> The characteristic that makes poop difficult to
> pass is how hard it is. Crap that is soft, or
> even soft and sticky, will flow out of the colon
> very easily. It's the lack of water in hard
> stools that creates problems.
>
> Jiff Shits are fine.
Guess I was confusing peanut butter with painters caulk poops. My bad.
I see OP has some Jelly to go with his peanut butter - Racist asshole Brown Onion started another shit thread because he couldnt stand someone else horning in on his territory..
Mulligan Stew Wrote:
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> Choosy Starfish Choose Jiff Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Mulligan Stew Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > I love Jif Wrote:
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > > -----
> > > > What's wrong with pooping out Jif?
> > > >
> > > > I don't understand the problem. Peanut
> > butter
> > > > seems like it would come out easily.
> Similar
> > > to
> > > > soft-serv ice cream (someone else can post
> > that
> > > > pic).
> > >
> > > I think the peanut butter type would have a
> > > stickiness to it making it difficult to pass
> > > cleanly.
> >
> > The characteristic that makes poop difficult to
> > pass is how hard it is. Crap that is soft, or
> > even soft and sticky, will flow out of the
> colon
> > very easily. It's the lack of water in hard
> > stools that creates problems.
> >
> > Jiff Shits are fine.
>
> Guess I was confusing peanut butter with painters
> caulk poops. My bad.
maybe painter caulk would be a better description. I guess what I have is a fair amount stuck up there actually in the rectum. My anus simply cannot seal out the leakage as the painters caulk 'melts' out so no matter how clean I am after eventually I end up in a situation where it looks like I just took a shit and didnt wipe at all.
I prefer the poops where it all slides out in a solid piece.
Yeah, no complaints as long as the poop is soft. Caulk, peanut butter, soft serve ice cream is all good. Loose strawberry preserves shits and Hershey squirts not so much. Hard brick-like shit is hell no.
Painters Caulk Onion Wrote:
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> maybe painter caulk would be a better description.
> I guess what I have is a fair amount stuck up
> there actually in the rectum. My anus simply
> cannot seal out the leakage as the painters caulk
> 'melts' out so no matter how clean I am after
> eventually I end up in a situation where it looks
> like I just took a shit and didnt wipe at all.
>
> I prefer the poops where it all slides out in a
> solid piece.
Sounds like your problem is the sphincter muscle itself, not the poop consistency. The anal starfish is designed to open up to allow the foetid matter to exit, then close up tight again. A properly functioning anus should be able to hold back not just solid turds but slime and liquid shit as well. Most people can even theoretically maintain an air-tight seal to prevent escaping sewer gas. Hence the premise that your fecal consistency is to blame is a red herring. Just wear an adult diaper.
Most of the focus of conversation has been on diet. But there is another key component which is being overlooked, namely exercise. The anus is a muscle, like your heart, bicep, or quad. Suggest you dig through your wife or daughter's room and find a dildo, or if you're single buy yourself a cucumber or carrot and practice biting down with your starfish and holding it shut. Eventually you should be able to insert a peeled banana or hot dog up your rectum and bite off chunks as you expel it out your ass. Start regular anus workouts 3 times a week and you will see results in 30 days, guaranteed.
A proper exercise program will build a strong healthy sphincter muscle that won't leak.
To the dude with leakage Wrote:
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> Most of the focus of conversation has been on
> diet. But there is another key component which is
> being overlooked, namely exercise. The anus is a
> muscle, like your heart, bicep, or quad. Suggest
> you dig through your wife or daughter's room and
> find a dildo, or if you're single buy yourself a
> cucumber or carrot and practice biting down with
> your starfish and holding it shut. Eventually you
> should be able to insert a peeled banana or hot
> dog up your rectum and bite off chunks as you
> expel it out your ass. Start regular anus workouts
> 3 times a week and you will see results in 30
> days, guaranteed.
>
> A proper exercise program will build a strong
> healthy sphincter muscle that won't leak.
I do workout regularly - about 5.5 hrs a week year round. I just dont envision adding rectal insertion into my cycling/stairmaster routine though. Reading some of these comments about anal strength is admittedly concerning. Perhaps Kegel exercises are called for. That and more fibre.
A properly functioning butthole should be airtight and watertight. If it's watertight nothing will leak out. Maybe you need to wear a buttplug at all times. Or the aforementioned diaper.
Butt Plug Wrote:
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> A properly functioning butthole should be airtight
> and watertight. If it's watertight nothing will
> leak out. Maybe you need to wear a buttplug at
> all times. Or the aforementioned diaper.
Thanks for your comments. I really dont think either butt plugs or diapers would suit my lifestyle. The anal meltage is not high in volume and never escapes the immediate area of the anus, no smearing of the cheeks so I dont really see diapers being needed. Until I solve it with fiber Ill just have to remember not to dig when it itches.
Jiff Creamy Style Onion Wrote:
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> To the dude with leakage Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Most of the focus of conversation has been on
> > diet. But there is another key component which
> is
> > being overlooked, namely exercise. The anus is
> a
> > muscle, like your heart, bicep, or quad.
> Suggest
> > you dig through your wife or daughter's room
> and
> > find a dildo, or if you're single buy yourself
> a
> > cucumber or carrot and practice biting down
> with
> > your starfish and holding it shut. Eventually
> you
> > should be able to insert a peeled banana or hot
> > dog up your rectum and bite off chunks as you
> > expel it out your ass. Start regular anus
> workouts
> > 3 times a week and you will see results in 30
> > days, guaranteed.
> >
> > A proper exercise program will build a strong
> > healthy sphincter muscle that won't leak.
>
> I do workout regularly - about 5.5 hrs a week year
> round. I just dont envision adding rectal
> insertion into my cycling/stairmaster routine
> though. Reading some of these comments about anal
> strength is admittedly concerning. Perhaps Kegel
> exercises are called for. That and more fibre.
Peloton sells an anal and vaginal attachment for their workout bike. They’ve suspended deliveries during coronavirus issues but worth checking out for a future remedy/purchase. Worth a try.
Glad to see Brown Onions douchebag scat thread has been broken - click on it and it will lock your computer. doing ok today added a little fiber and had much more slippery evacuation today.
I was thinking about the guy who claimed to have "leakage". I wonder if perhaps he is just not getting his sphincter completely clean.
It would be easy to test that hypothesis. After pooping, put your ass in a shower, tub, sink, or bidet and using a couple fingers rub the starfish vigorously with soap and water. You could even soap up a finger and run it around the orifice and inside, up to about the first knuckle. Then rinse thoroughly with running water, again using your fingers. If you still get underwear stains then you do indeed have a leakage problem.
Its in the anal canal things are melting from. Between sphincters. I dont mean to be gross but here is a diagram. Peanut butter gets stuck in the anal canal