I might wipe a bit to get the dingleberries out and dislodge pieces of shit that’s stuck, but other than that I don’t. Real men don’t and you can always tell an alpha male apart from the betas by the skid marks on their underwear.

My stepbrother and his friends all use to say Only Girls Wipe

IF I don't wipe my asshole itches. I use alcohol wipes for that extra clean feeling.

GTWGT Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My stepbrother and his friends all use to say Only
> Girls Wipe

Smelling like ass is sensuous in the gay community.

Does it bother you that your stepbrother is going to hell?

Homos Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> GTWGT Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > My stepbrother and his friends all use to say
> Only
> > Girls Wipe
>
>
>
> Does it bother you that your stepbrother is going
> to hell?

No. We were never that good of friends.

I use William's "Reign of Terror" newspaper article.

Yes, with the same unwashed hand I eat with.

Lizzie in Lockup Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I use William's "Reign of Terror" newspaper
> article.
Attachments:

Brawny Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I might wipe a bit to get the dingleberries out
> and dislodge pieces of shit that’s stuck, but
> other than that I don’t. Real men don’t and
> you can always tell an alpha male apart from the
> betas by the skid marks on their underwear.


How would you know alpha males have skid marks on their underwear? You must be a fag if you are looking at guys underwear.

Scrawny Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brawny Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
>
>
> How would you know alpha males have skid marks on
> their underwear? You must be a fag if you are
> looking at guys underwear.

All he's saying is skids are manly.

wiping is a waste of time

Almost never wipe; only in the rare event of a hangfire, etc. I usually go direct to the shower, or hang my rear end in the sink and wash the starfish out with soap under running water.. I've never had a skidmark.

Get a bidet, they are awesome. All the modern ones just fit right over your toilet and have cool features like heated seat, heated water, blow dry your asshole, pussy washer, self clean etc. It will set you back about $600 for a decent one and you need an outlet behind your toilet.

Sink user Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Almost never wipe; only in the rare event of a
> hangfire, etc. I usually go direct to the shower,
> or hang my rear end in the sink and wash the
> starfish out with soap under running water.. I've
> never had a skidmark.

Goddammit Brad I knew that was you. Fucker.

No...I also piss on the floor.

For all you non ass-wipers posting on here, that’s gross. No one wants to smell your feces.

best purchase ever Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Get a bidet, they are awesome. All the modern ones
> just fit right over your toilet and have cool
> features like heated seat, heated water, blow dry
> your asshole, pussy washer, self clean etc. It
> will set you back about $600 for a decent one and
> you need an outlet behind your toilet.

I suppose those are better than nothing at all, but I think an actual porcelain bidet fixture is much better. There is better access and you can actually use your hands and wash your ass squeaky clean without making a mess. Heck I can hang my rear end over the tub and use a handheld shower sprayer for that matter.

toilet paper first

then take half a paper towel..fold it in half...run it under the faucet...squeeze out most of the water...wipe

repeat process until no brown shows

make sure you wipe the actual butthole until no brown shows

eating fruit and green leafy veggies will make the clean up much easier

if you got real stubborn poop put a little doc bronners soap on the wet paper towel...but not the peppermint variety

if you want to know how good a job you doing wear white underwear

I use loose rolls, not on a holder, and wrap it around my hand and wrist many times a wipe a couple times per wrap, and I repeat this many times, if my hemorrhoids are acting up and I been drinking, the toilet looks like strawberry jubilee, and I make a “manpon” out of toilet paper, put it in place and sit for a few till the bleeding stops, and repeat if necessary. I also have some vein in my Bose that will bleed, pours out on stop for 10-25 minutes, I must put pressure up there, using paper, and this must be repeated a few times till bleeding stops

What are you all eating? Must be some shit that doesn't agree with you to require such cleanup efforts. Terds are supposed to exit your bunghole cleanly without smearing your inner cheeks. Or maybe it's your technique? Try lifting slightly off the seat into a squat. Then grab a cheek with each hand and spread them apart while ejecting your fecal missiles.

If you are doing it right the paper should be clean or mostly clean when you wipe. Then you can use water or a wet-one to disinfect and keep the anus fresh.

Obviously the flu or a binge of alcohol, Mexican food, etc might throw a wrench in things.

I call my skid marks Gerry.

I wipe my ass every time I shit. Why did God provide me with a left hand otherwise? We always know the infidels because they use the toilet tissue.

Can’t believe this is a serious topic of discussion. Unless you’re a some third world savage, you should be wiping thoroughly. Skid marks are nothing to brag about.

Brawny Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I might wipe a bit to get the dingleberries out
> and dislodge pieces of shit that’s stuck, but
> other than that I don’t. Real men don’t and
> you can always tell an alpha male apart from the
> betas by the skid marks on their underwear.


Do you always go around asking guys if you can look in their underwear? That seems to be to be a pretty fast and efficient way to get a fat lip.

AARPer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> IF I don't wipe my asshole itches. I use alcohol
> wipes for that extra clean feeling.


^^^this. I don't like itchy ass or greasy asses.

Mr mizery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> No...I also piss on the floor.


If Ur 2 lazy 2 walk upstairs to the bathroom, just pee in the trash can. I do that. If I have greasy asses, I just take a napkin, wipe my butt, throw it in the trash & wash my hands in the kitchen sink with dish soap. It works.

Cheryl Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sink user Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Almost never wipe; only in the rare event of a
> > hangfire, etc. I usually go direct to the
> shower,
> > or hang my rear end in the sink and wash the
> > starfish out with soap under running water..
> I've
> > never had a skidmark.
>
> Goddammit Brad I knew that was you. Fucker.

Who the fuck is Brad? Is that like beta Chad?

nope. that's why there's bleach.

Sink user Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> best purchase ever Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Get a bidet, they are awesome. All the modern
> ones
> > just fit right over your toilet and have cool
> > features like heated seat, heated water, blow
> dry
> > your asshole, pussy washer, self clean etc. It
> > will set you back about $600 for a decent one
> and
> > you need an outlet behind your toilet.
>
> I suppose those are better than nothing at all,
> but I think an actual porcelain bidet fixture is
> much better. There is better access and you can
> actually use your hands and wash your ass squeaky
> clean without making a mess. Heck I can hang my
> rear end over the tub and use a handheld shower
> sprayer for that matter.


I hate those, had one and never used it. I'm not moving from the toilet nor do I want to mess around with getting the water to the right temp. So much easier to just sit on the crapper and have instantly warm water rinse my ass followed by a blow dry.

Mother will often use the Q-Tips to go into those "dirty lil holes". She doesn't know that I smother my sphincter in creamy Jif peanut butter and let the dog lick my brown eye clean. Don't ever use chunky, the dogs tongue will shove a chard of nut all the way to your throat!!! Mother will often have me over her lap, detailing the anus while reaching around and milking my man root. Glorious!!!

best purchase ever Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sink user Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > best purchase ever Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Get a bidet, they are awesome. All the modern
> > ones
> > > just fit right over your toilet and have cool
> > > features like heated seat, heated water, blow
> > dry
> > > your asshole, pussy washer, self clean etc.
> It
> > > will set you back about $600 for a decent one
> > and
> > > you need an outlet behind your toilet.
> >
> > I suppose those are better than nothing at all,
> > but I think an actual porcelain bidet fixture
> is
> > much better. There is better access and you
> can
> > actually use your hands and wash your ass
> squeaky
> > clean without making a mess. Heck I can hang
> my
> > rear end over the tub and use a handheld shower
> > sprayer for that matter.
>
>
> I hate those, had one and never used it. I'm not
> moving from the toilet nor do I want to mess
> around with getting the water to the right temp.
> So much easier to just sit on the crapper and have
> instantly warm water rinse my ass followed by a
> blow dry.

Chacon a son bidet. I prefer the original porcelain. The add-ons don't have enough room but better than nothing I guess.

Touching my butthole? Miss me with that gay shit.

Beardman Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I can't see any problems with a bidet. Actually,
> when I installed it for the first time at my
> parents' house I was impressed. I read about it
> various toilets on https://sanitaryreview.com/
> before installing and the choice to install a
> bidet along with toilet was the best decision I
> ever made. As you said, no need to touch your
> butt. Yeah, it requires some time to get used to
> it, but after using it once you'll never go back.

This sounds awfully gay to me, or at a minimum toilet fetish