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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
HR Human Resources
()
Date: February 06, 2014 06:55PM
I have been called upon to find new personnel at my company. It is a big company in a big building that does big things.
We here at Big Enterprises would like to offer a job to the person called 'eesh'. We have noticed that he posts here relentlessly day and night and is likely unemployed and assume he is looking for work.
We think he is a very talented bright man-boy that should be put to work and start being a "maker" instead of a "taker".
We here at Big Enterprises would like to offer a job to the person called 'eesh'. We have noticed that he posts here relentlessly day and night and is likely unemployed and assume he is looking for work.
We think he is a very talented bright man-boy that should be put to work and start being a "maker" instead of a "taker".
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
lulzer
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:00PM
LMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO this is good hahahahahaha!
So true!
So true!
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
eesh
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:04PM
Big Enterprises,
Thank you for considering me as a hiring candidate for your company. I have some questions for you before I commit to a career with your organization.
1.) How much PTO will new hires receive?
2.) What is your acceptable internet use policy?
3.) Can employees have facial piercings and throat tattoos?
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Thank you for considering me as a hiring candidate for your company. I have some questions for you before I commit to a career with your organization.
1.) How much PTO will new hires receive?
2.) What is your acceptable internet use policy?
3.) Can employees have facial piercings and throat tattoos?
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Chip from HR
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:06PM
eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Big Enterprises,
>
>
> Thank you for considering me as a hiring candidate
> for your company. I have some questions for you
> before I commit to a career with your
> organization.
>
>
> 1.) How much PTO will new hires receive?
>
> 2.) What is your acceptable internet use policy?
>
> 3.) Can employees have facial piercings and throat
> tattoos?
>
>
>
> Thank you for your time and consideration.
Mr. 'eesh', thank you for your prompt reply.
Before you can be considered for employment, we must know. Do you suck dick?
Regards,
Chip from HR
-------------------------------------------------------
> Big Enterprises,
>
>
> Thank you for considering me as a hiring candidate
> for your company. I have some questions for you
> before I commit to a career with your
> organization.
>
>
> 1.) How much PTO will new hires receive?
>
> 2.) What is your acceptable internet use policy?
>
> 3.) Can employees have facial piercings and throat
> tattoos?
>
>
>
> Thank you for your time and consideration.
Mr. 'eesh', thank you for your prompt reply.
Before you can be considered for employment, we must know. Do you suck dick?
Regards,
Chip from HR
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
eesh
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:07PM
Here's my cover letter:
I am a self-motivated individual having extensive experience in analytic and problem solving techniques. Working with children has been very fulfilling as I strive to meet their physical, emotional and educational needs as best as I can. I am a good communicator, it is easy for me to relay information to parents and teachers alike in order to ensure that are trained and well able to handle the difficult tasks entrusted to them.
I am a self-motivated individual having extensive experience in analytic and problem solving techniques. Working with children has been very fulfilling as I strive to meet their physical, emotional and educational needs as best as I can. I am a good communicator, it is easy for me to relay information to parents and teachers alike in order to ensure that are trained and well able to handle the difficult tasks entrusted to them.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
eesh
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:10PM
I have two and a half years of experience as a 'Manny' in Richmond, and close to three years of experience in the DC area. I'm looking for any and all opportunities in this field. I have experience doing the work of nanny, cook, and personal assistant for the family I currently work for, so I am not afraid to wear many hats.
I love working with kids, and kids love me! I find I have so much fun with children and always learn as much from the kids as they seem to learn from me.
Please don't hesitate in emailing me or giving me a call. I can supply references and a letter of recommendation, if requested.
I'm confident I would be the perfect fit for your family's needs. I look forward to hearing from you.
I love working with kids, and kids love me! I find I have so much fun with children and always learn as much from the kids as they seem to learn from me.
Please don't hesitate in emailing me or giving me a call. I can supply references and a letter of recommendation, if requested.
I'm confident I would be the perfect fit for your family's needs. I look forward to hearing from you.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Jan from HR
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:13PM
Mr. 'eesh',
Thank you for considering our offer. Big Enterprises would like to take this time to extend an offer to you that includes a sign-on bonus, 4 weeks of paid leave, and maternity care.
Just one question before we proceed. Here at Big Enterprises we have a strict policy --- no cocksuckers. Are you a cocksucker? Be truthful now, we do cocksucker testing at New Hire Orientation.
Regards,
Jan from HR
Thank you for considering our offer. Big Enterprises would like to take this time to extend an offer to you that includes a sign-on bonus, 4 weeks of paid leave, and maternity care.
Just one question before we proceed. Here at Big Enterprises we have a strict policy --- no cocksuckers. Are you a cocksucker? Be truthful now, we do cocksucker testing at New Hire Orientation.
Regards,
Jan from HR
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
love at first bite
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:13PM
eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> I love working with kids, and kids love me!
Attachments:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> I love working with kids, and kids love me!
Attachments:
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
MrMephisto
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:14PM
Jan from HR Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> we do cocksucker testing at New Hire
> Orientation.
How does that work?
--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.
-------------------------------------------------------
> we do cocksucker testing at New Hire
> Orientation.
How does that work?
--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
eesh
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:18PM
I can cover my throat tattoo with foundation, and I can wear clear retainers in my facial piercings during the work day.
Here's my photo, post-op:
Here's my photo, post-op:
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Jack From the Receiving Dock
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:19PM
MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Jan from HR Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > we do cocksucker testing at New Hire
> > Orientation.
>
> How does that work?
You don't wanna know, man...
-------------------------------------------------------
> Jan from HR Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > we do cocksucker testing at New Hire
> > Orientation.
>
> How does that work?
You don't wanna know, man...
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Hussein Obama-
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:23PM
Hey, can you hire another unemployed welfare leech from this board? He goes by Gerrymanderer2. He would be perfect for performing the cock sucking test at orientation.
However, if you were to hire him he would lose medicaid and be susceptible to Obamacare which he refuses to enroll in and/or support.
However, if you were to hire him he would lose medicaid and be susceptible to Obamacare which he refuses to enroll in and/or support.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Chip from HR
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:33PM
Hussein Obama- Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hey, can you hire another unemployed welfare leech
> from this board? He goes by Gerrymanderer2. He
> would be perfect for performing the cock sucking
> test at orientation.
> However, if you were to hire him he would lose
> medicaid and be susceptible to Obamacare which he
> refuses to enroll in and/or support.
Mr. Obama,
We are regret to inform you that the candidate you mentioned is not eligible for employment at Big Enterprises. You may have misunderstood, we are looking for candidates who DO NOT suck dick.
Thank you for applying.
Regards,
Chip from HR
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hey, can you hire another unemployed welfare leech
> from this board? He goes by Gerrymanderer2. He
> would be perfect for performing the cock sucking
> test at orientation.
> However, if you were to hire him he would lose
> medicaid and be susceptible to Obamacare which he
> refuses to enroll in and/or support.
Mr. Obama,
We are regret to inform you that the candidate you mentioned is not eligible for employment at Big Enterprises. You may have misunderstood, we are looking for candidates who DO NOT suck dick.
Thank you for applying.
Regards,
Chip from HR
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Steve, HR
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:41PM
Eesh, if you keep your dick out of public view, tats won't be an issue.
Best,
Steve
Best,
Steve
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Questioning Questioner
()
Date: February 06, 2014 08:40PM
eesh,
How long have you been employed in InfoSec at a financial services company?
I'm 100% sure we know each other.
Thanks in advance,
Your boss
How long have you been employed in InfoSec at a financial services company?
I'm 100% sure we know each other.
Thanks in advance,
Your boss
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Hussein Obama-
()
Date: February 06, 2014 11:13PM
Chip from HR Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hussein Obama- Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Hey, can you hire another unemployed welfare
> leech
> > from this board? He goes by Gerrymanderer2. He
> > would be perfect for performing the cock
> sucking
> > test at orientation.
> > However, if you were to hire him he would lose
> > medicaid and be susceptible to Obamacare which
> he
> > refuses to enroll in and/or support.
>
>
> Mr. Obama,
>
> We are regret to inform you that the candidate you
> mentioned is not eligible for employment at Big
> Enterprises. You may have misunderstood, we are
> looking for candidates who DO NOT suck dick.
>
> Thank you for applying.
>
> Regards,
>
> Chip from HR
I assure you that Gerrymanderer2 is refined in cock sucking skills. You must have staff on hand to evaluate the cock sucking you mentioned before. He/she/it is highly qualified for the position.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hussein Obama- Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Hey, can you hire another unemployed welfare
> leech
> > from this board? He goes by Gerrymanderer2. He
> > would be perfect for performing the cock
> sucking
> > test at orientation.
> > However, if you were to hire him he would lose
> > medicaid and be susceptible to Obamacare which
> he
> > refuses to enroll in and/or support.
>
>
> Mr. Obama,
>
> We are regret to inform you that the candidate you
> mentioned is not eligible for employment at Big
> Enterprises. You may have misunderstood, we are
> looking for candidates who DO NOT suck dick.
>
> Thank you for applying.
>
> Regards,
>
> Chip from HR
I assure you that Gerrymanderer2 is refined in cock sucking skills. You must have staff on hand to evaluate the cock sucking you mentioned before. He/she/it is highly qualified for the position.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
At Least Swallow
()
Date: February 06, 2014 11:22PM
Hussein Obama- Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Chip from HR Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Hussein Obama- Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Hey, can you hire another unemployed welfare
> > leech
> > > from this board? He goes by Gerrymanderer2.
> He
> > > would be perfect for performing the cock
> > sucking
> > > test at orientation.
> > > However, if you were to hire him he would
> lose
> > > medicaid and be susceptible to Obamacare
> which
> > he
> > > refuses to enroll in and/or support.
> >
> >
> > Mr. Obama,
> >
> > We are regret to inform you that the candidate
> you
> > mentioned is not eligible for employment at Big
> > Enterprises. You may have misunderstood, we are
> > looking for candidates who DO NOT suck dick.
> >
> > Thank you for applying.
> >
> > Regards,
> >
> > Chip from HR
>
>
> I assure you that Gerrymanderer2 is refined in
> cock sucking skills. You must have staff on hand
> to evaluate the cock sucking you mentioned before.
> He/she/it is highly qualified for the position.
The only cocksucker posting is Hussein Obama. Typical conservative fag who hides behind a cheap shot of the Prez.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Chip from HR Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Hussein Obama- Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Hey, can you hire another unemployed welfare
> > leech
> > > from this board? He goes by Gerrymanderer2.
> He
> > > would be perfect for performing the cock
> > sucking
> > > test at orientation.
> > > However, if you were to hire him he would
> lose
> > > medicaid and be susceptible to Obamacare
> which
> > he
> > > refuses to enroll in and/or support.
> >
> >
> > Mr. Obama,
> >
> > We are regret to inform you that the candidate
> you
> > mentioned is not eligible for employment at Big
> > Enterprises. You may have misunderstood, we are
> > looking for candidates who DO NOT suck dick.
> >
> > Thank you for applying.
> >
> > Regards,
> >
> > Chip from HR
>
>
> I assure you that Gerrymanderer2 is refined in
> cock sucking skills. You must have staff on hand
> to evaluate the cock sucking you mentioned before.
> He/she/it is highly qualified for the position.
The only cocksucker posting is Hussein Obama. Typical conservative fag who hides behind a cheap shot of the Prez.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Numbers
()
Date: February 06, 2014 11:23PM
Jan from HR Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> we have a strict policy --- no cocksuckers.
Are you worried someone will take your job?
-------------------------------------------------------
> we have a strict policy --- no cocksuckers.
Are you worried someone will take your job?
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Jan from HR
()
Date: February 06, 2014 11:26PM
Hussein Obama- Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> I assure you that Gerrymanderer2 is refined in
> cock sucking skills. You must have staff on hand
> to evaluate the cock sucking you mentioned before.
> He/she/it is highly qualified for the position.
Mr. Obama,
Thank you for your reply. It appears as though you are misunderstanding what Big Enterprises is looking for in potential candidates. As expressed before, we are not looking for people that suck dick. We have a strict policy at Big Enterprise --- no cocksuckers.
Thank you for your suggestion for candidates. We regret to inform you that the person 'Gerrymanderer2' has been rejected for the position due to his continued cocksucking.
We are still awaiting the reply of the person named 'eesh'. He has not disclosed to us whether or not he sucks dick at this time. Any help in this matter would be appreciated.
Kind regards,
Jan from HR
-------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> I assure you that Gerrymanderer2 is refined in
> cock sucking skills. You must have staff on hand
> to evaluate the cock sucking you mentioned before.
> He/she/it is highly qualified for the position.
Mr. Obama,
Thank you for your reply. It appears as though you are misunderstanding what Big Enterprises is looking for in potential candidates. As expressed before, we are not looking for people that suck dick. We have a strict policy at Big Enterprise --- no cocksuckers.
Thank you for your suggestion for candidates. We regret to inform you that the person 'Gerrymanderer2' has been rejected for the position due to his continued cocksucking.
We are still awaiting the reply of the person named 'eesh'. He has not disclosed to us whether or not he sucks dick at this time. Any help in this matter would be appreciated.
Kind regards,
Jan from HR
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
rwerr
()
Date: February 07, 2014 07:33AM
what about people who do greek ?
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Hussein Obama-
()
Date: February 07, 2014 07:49AM
Jan from HR Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hussein Obama- Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> >
> >
> > I assure you that Gerrymanderer2 is refined in
> > cock sucking skills. You must have staff on
> hand
> > to evaluate the cock sucking you mentioned
> before.
> > He/she/it is highly qualified for the position.
>
>
>
> Mr. Obama,
>
> Thank you for your reply. It appears as though you
> are misunderstanding what Big Enterprises is
> looking for in potential candidates. As expressed
> before, we are not looking for people that suck
> dick. We have a strict policy at Big Enterprise
> --- no cocksuckers.
>
> Thank you for your suggestion for candidates. We
> regret to inform you that the person
> 'Gerrymanderer2' has been rejected for the
> position due to his continued cocksucking.
>
> We are still awaiting the reply of the person
> named 'eesh'. He has not disclosed to us whether
> or not he sucks dick at this time. Any help in
> this matter would be appreciated.
>
> Kind regards,
>
> Jan from HR
Jan, that is unfortunate. After my second term masturbating all over the US constitution I was looking forward to a position at Big enterprises. Due to my passion for sucking on cocks, especially corporate cock, wall street cock, union cock, dead Hitler cock and Michelle's BBC, I'm afraid your policy of no cocksuckers will prevent me from working there. No worries, I'll just abuse my power some more and wrote an executive order that forces your company to hire cocksuckers only. Then Gerrymanderer2 can suck my cock and explain to me why he refuses to enroll in my death care program, while I fuck his skull.
Sincerely,
BO
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hussein Obama- Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> >
> >
> > I assure you that Gerrymanderer2 is refined in
> > cock sucking skills. You must have staff on
> hand
> > to evaluate the cock sucking you mentioned
> before.
> > He/she/it is highly qualified for the position.
>
>
>
> Mr. Obama,
>
> Thank you for your reply. It appears as though you
> are misunderstanding what Big Enterprises is
> looking for in potential candidates. As expressed
> before, we are not looking for people that suck
> dick. We have a strict policy at Big Enterprise
> --- no cocksuckers.
>
> Thank you for your suggestion for candidates. We
> regret to inform you that the person
> 'Gerrymanderer2' has been rejected for the
> position due to his continued cocksucking.
>
> We are still awaiting the reply of the person
> named 'eesh'. He has not disclosed to us whether
> or not he sucks dick at this time. Any help in
> this matter would be appreciated.
>
> Kind regards,
>
> Jan from HR
Jan, that is unfortunate. After my second term masturbating all over the US constitution I was looking forward to a position at Big enterprises. Due to my passion for sucking on cocks, especially corporate cock, wall street cock, union cock, dead Hitler cock and Michelle's BBC, I'm afraid your policy of no cocksuckers will prevent me from working there. No worries, I'll just abuse my power some more and wrote an executive order that forces your company to hire cocksuckers only. Then Gerrymanderer2 can suck my cock and explain to me why he refuses to enroll in my death care program, while I fuck his skull.
Sincerely,
BO
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Gerrymanderer2
()
Date: February 07, 2014 07:52AM
You're a fag.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Gerrymanderer2
()
Date: February 07, 2014 07:53AM
A fag that is not very funny.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Eeshagain
()
Date: February 07, 2014 08:43AM
Gerrymanderer2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A fag that is not very funny.
stop talking about Eesh when he is not here to defend himself
-------------------------------------------------------
> A fag that is not very funny.
stop talking about Eesh when he is not here to defend himself
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
He works
()
Date: February 07, 2014 09:33AM
He has a postion in Government, I think he's a Homeland Security bigshot.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
thisisajokeright
()
Date: February 07, 2014 10:12AM
I <3 eesh
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Hussein Obama-
()
Date: February 07, 2014 11:59AM
Gerrytard, people like eesh. He posts some sacked shit. People don't like you. Especially Obama, and you're his little bitch!
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
thisisajokeright
()
Date: February 07, 2014 12:18PM
I actually like Gerrymanderer, too...
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Hussein Obama-
()
Date: February 07, 2014 01:08PM
thisisajokeright Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I actually like Gerrymanderer, too...
Oh, I get it!
-------------------------------------------------------
> I actually like Gerrymanderer, too...
Oh, I get it!
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
eesh has always been popular
()
Date: January 20, 2022 11:30PM
FFU's favorite character!
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Quick fix
()
Date: January 20, 2022 11:31PM
eesh has always been a no life loser Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> FFU's favorite character to make fun of!
Fixed those
-------------------------------------------------------
> FFU's favorite character to make fun of!
Fixed those
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Binary Bob
()
Date: January 20, 2022 11:34PM
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Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
people sure envy eesh!
()
Date: January 20, 2022 11:43PM
he has always been so popular here
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Dana Vespoli
()
Date: January 21, 2022 03:04AM
He's a great public speaker. His oral skills are like no other.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
So very envious
()
Date: January 21, 2022 06:38AM
people sure envy eesh! Wrote:
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> he has always been so popular here
How can you not envy an HIV positive, bankrupted, convicted criminal, with tattoos on its face, no friends, family, or reason to live? LOLLL
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> he has always been so popular here
How can you not envy an HIV positive, bankrupted, convicted criminal, with tattoos on its face, no friends, family, or reason to live? LOLLL