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Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
HR Human Resources
()
Date: February 06, 2014 06:55PM
I have been called upon to find new personnel at my company. It is a big company in a big building that does big things.
We here at Big Enterprises would like to offer a job to the person called 'eesh'. We have noticed that he posts here relentlessly day and night and is likely unemployed and assume he is looking for work.
We think he is a very talented bright man-boy that should be put to work and start being a "maker" instead of a "taker".
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Chip from HR
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:06PM
eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Big Enterprises,
>
>
> Thank you for considering me as a hiring candidate
> for your company. I have some questions for you
> before I commit to a career with your
> organization.
>
>
> 1.) How much PTO will new hires receive?
>
> 2.) What is your acceptable internet use policy?
>
> 3.) Can employees have facial piercings and throat
> tattoos?
>
>
>
> Thank you for your time and consideration.
Mr. 'eesh', thank you for your prompt reply.
Before you can be considered for employment, we must know. Do you suck dick?
I am a self-motivated individual having extensive experience in analytic and problem solving techniques. Working with children has been very fulfilling as I strive to meet their physical, emotional and educational needs as best as I can. I am a good communicator, it is easy for me to relay information to parents and teachers alike in order to ensure that are trained and well able to handle the difficult tasks entrusted to them.
I have two and a half years of experience as a 'Manny' in Richmond, and close to three years of experience in the DC area. I'm looking for any and all opportunities in this field. I have experience doing the work of nanny, cook, and personal assistant for the family I currently work for, so I am not afraid to wear many hats.
I love working with kids, and kids love me! I find I have so much fun with children and always learn as much from the kids as they seem to learn from me.
Please don't hesitate in emailing me or giving me a call. I can supply references and a letter of recommendation, if requested.
I'm confident I would be the perfect fit for your family's needs. I look forward to hearing from you.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Jan from HR
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:13PM
Mr. 'eesh',
Thank you for considering our offer. Big Enterprises would like to take this time to extend an offer to you that includes a sign-on bonus, 4 weeks of paid leave, and maternity care.
Just one question before we proceed. Here at Big Enterprises we have a strict policy --- no cocksuckers. Are you a cocksucker? Be truthful now, we do cocksucker testing at New Hire Orientation.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Jack From the Receiving Dock
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:19PM
MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Jan from HR Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > we do cocksucker testing at New Hire
> > Orientation.
>
> How does that work?
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Hussein Obama-
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:23PM
Hey, can you hire another unemployed welfare leech from this board? He goes by Gerrymanderer2. He would be perfect for performing the cock sucking test at orientation.
However, if you were to hire him he would lose medicaid and be susceptible to Obamacare which he refuses to enroll in and/or support.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Chip from HR
()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:33PM
Hussein Obama- Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hey, can you hire another unemployed welfare leech
> from this board? He goes by Gerrymanderer2. He
> would be perfect for performing the cock sucking
> test at orientation.
> However, if you were to hire him he would lose
> medicaid and be susceptible to Obamacare which he
> refuses to enroll in and/or support.
Mr. Obama,
We are regret to inform you that the candidate you mentioned is not eligible for employment at Big Enterprises. You may have misunderstood, we are looking for candidates who DO NOT suck dick.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Hussein Obama-
()
Date: February 06, 2014 11:13PM
Chip from HR Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hussein Obama- Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Hey, can you hire another unemployed welfare
> leech
> > from this board? He goes by Gerrymanderer2. He
> > would be perfect for performing the cock
> sucking
> > test at orientation.
> > However, if you were to hire him he would lose
> > medicaid and be susceptible to Obamacare which
> he
> > refuses to enroll in and/or support.
>
>
> Mr. Obama,
>
> We are regret to inform you that the candidate you
> mentioned is not eligible for employment at Big
> Enterprises. You may have misunderstood, we are
> looking for candidates who DO NOT suck dick.
>
> Thank you for applying.
>
> Regards,
>
> Chip from HR
I assure you that Gerrymanderer2 is refined in cock sucking skills. You must have staff on hand to evaluate the cock sucking you mentioned before. He/she/it is highly qualified for the position.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
At Least Swallow
()
Date: February 06, 2014 11:22PM
Hussein Obama- Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Chip from HR Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Hussein Obama- Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Hey, can you hire another unemployed welfare
> > leech
> > > from this board? He goes by Gerrymanderer2.
> He
> > > would be perfect for performing the cock
> > sucking
> > > test at orientation.
> > > However, if you were to hire him he would
> lose
> > > medicaid and be susceptible to Obamacare
> which
> > he
> > > refuses to enroll in and/or support.
> >
> >
> > Mr. Obama,
> >
> > We are regret to inform you that the candidate
> you
> > mentioned is not eligible for employment at Big
> > Enterprises. You may have misunderstood, we are
> > looking for candidates who DO NOT suck dick.
> >
> > Thank you for applying.
> >
> > Regards,
> >
> > Chip from HR
>
>
> I assure you that Gerrymanderer2 is refined in
> cock sucking skills. You must have staff on hand
> to evaluate the cock sucking you mentioned before.
> He/she/it is highly qualified for the position.
The only cocksucker posting is Hussein Obama. Typical conservative fag who hides behind a cheap shot of the Prez.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Jan from HR
()
Date: February 06, 2014 11:26PM
Hussein Obama- Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> I assure you that Gerrymanderer2 is refined in
> cock sucking skills. You must have staff on hand
> to evaluate the cock sucking you mentioned before.
> He/she/it is highly qualified for the position.
Mr. Obama,
Thank you for your reply. It appears as though you are misunderstanding what Big Enterprises is looking for in potential candidates. As expressed before, we are not looking for people that suck dick. We have a strict policy at Big Enterprise --- no cocksuckers.
Thank you for your suggestion for candidates. We regret to inform you that the person 'Gerrymanderer2' has been rejected for the position due to his continued cocksucking.
We are still awaiting the reply of the person named 'eesh'. He has not disclosed to us whether or not he sucks dick at this time. Any help in this matter would be appreciated.
Re: Does This 'eesh' Person Work Anywhere? I'd Like to Hire
Posted by:
Hussein Obama-
()
Date: February 07, 2014 07:49AM
Jan from HR Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hussein Obama- Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> >
> >
> > I assure you that Gerrymanderer2 is refined in
> > cock sucking skills. You must have staff on
> hand
> > to evaluate the cock sucking you mentioned
> before.
> > He/she/it is highly qualified for the position.
>
>
>
> Mr. Obama,
>
> Thank you for your reply. It appears as though you
> are misunderstanding what Big Enterprises is
> looking for in potential candidates. As expressed
> before, we are not looking for people that suck
> dick. We have a strict policy at Big Enterprise
> --- no cocksuckers.
>
> Thank you for your suggestion for candidates. We
> regret to inform you that the person
> 'Gerrymanderer2' has been rejected for the
> position due to his continued cocksucking.
>
> We are still awaiting the reply of the person
> named 'eesh'. He has not disclosed to us whether
> or not he sucks dick at this time. Any help in
> this matter would be appreciated.
>
> Kind regards,
>
> Jan from HR
Jan, that is unfortunate. After my second term masturbating all over the US constitution I was looking forward to a position at Big enterprises. Due to my passion for sucking on cocks, especially corporate cock, wall street cock, union cock, dead Hitler cock and Michelle's BBC, I'm afraid your policy of no cocksuckers will prevent me from working there. No worries, I'll just abuse my power some more and wrote an executive order that forces your company to hire cocksuckers only. Then Gerrymanderer2 can suck my cock and explain to me why he refuses to enroll in my death care program, while I fuck his skull.
Sincerely,
BO