Because you don’t have the balls to use your name, and you make the same grammatical and mechanical mistakes as members of Bob Malm’s family. (He likes to use decorative caps for Important Words like “Church” — a habit Leslie Malm and his kids have picked up.)
That said, as rarely as Bob’s family attends, they might as well not be members.
Meanwhile, Bob’s various written documents speak for themselves, so if you’re thinking of pledging, keep in mind that this is a priest who believes he’s being pursued by “domestic terrorists,” and that a church shooting happened in the nonexistent town of “Sugarland Texas.”
Paranoia, anyone?
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