Getting telemarketers to leave you alone
Posted by:
My father is foreign
()
Date: October 22, 2014 03:36PM
My father lives in another country. He's here for a wedding.
For the past week or so, I've been getting calls for mortgage modification. No matter how nicely I ask, they won't stop calling.
My father knows a lot of English words, but not a lot of English grammar. He's also, shall we say older, we'll all get that way someday.
A while ago, this call took place:
(TM = telemarketer; FF = foreign father)
ring ring
FF: Allo?
TM: Hello, I'd like to speak to (mispronounced foreign name)
FF: Yes, this Mr. (foreign name pronounced properly)
TM: Yes, I'd like to talk to you about your loan
FF: Alone? Why?
TM: Not alone, loan
FF: No, not alone. Family. Friend. Wedding.
TM: Loan, like money.
FF: Yes, like money. Money good.
TM: The money on your loan, can we talk about that?
FF: Money alone? What?
TM: OK, maybe this, the money for your house.
FF: Yes, house. In my city, house.
TM: Where is your house?
FF: (gives name of foreign place)
TM: Where is that?
FF: (names country)
TM: No, do you have a house in America?
FF: America. My son. House. Yes.
TM: Are you in America?
FF: America. My son. House. Yes. I say for you.
TM: Are you Mr. (still mispronouncing name)?
FF: Yes, I say for you. Yes. My name (foreign name)
TM: Is your son American?
FF: Yes. Son. Living America.
TM: Is your son there?
FF: Where?
TM: There, in the house with you.
FF: Yes. Son here. In house.
TM: Could I speak to him?
FF: You want, speak my son?
TM: Yes
FF: [yelling my name]
ME: Hello?
TM: Is this Mr. (foreign name, still not pronounced correctly)
ME: Yes, but it is (foreign name pronounced correctly)
TM: Hi, I'd like to talk to you about your loan.
ME: Loan, what loan?
TM: The loan on your house.
ME: Oh, I don't have a house. This is my father's house, you were just talking to him.
TM: But he doesn't speak English.
ME: That's OK, he's just visiting.
TM: But who handles the loan?
ME: I'm not even sure there is one.
TM: Huh?
ME: I think he paid it off. I just live here.
TM: Can you ask him?
ME: Ask him what?
TM: Ask him about the loan.
ME: What about it?
TM: Ask him if he'd like to refinance.
ME: Let me see.
[time elapses]
ME: Hello?
TM: Yes.
ME: He's gone out, so I could not ask him.
TM: Could you call me back when he returns?
ME: And who exactly are you again?
TM: (gives name of loan company)
ME: Aha, and what gives you the right to call here?
TM: What do you mean?
ME: Did you ever hear of the Do Not Call List?
TM: Yes.
ME: Well, this number is on it.
TM: I could remove you from the database.
ME: You just do that.
TM: Have a nice day.
ME: You too.