my daughter is currently experiencing a mental health situation and it is impacting all aspects of her life...in particular, her academic performance is awful and atypical...i contacted her counselor several weeks ago with the purpose of providing my daughter with another person in her support system--particularly since i can t be observing her at school everyday..at the time i shared concern over grades, her skipping classes, general mental health status, and MOST SIGNIFICANTLY i shared that my daughter was regularly calling me from the bathroom, at least 3 afternoons a week, where she was hiding and crying!!!

THAT IS WORRISOME to say the least..clearly indicative of something going on inside...the counselor responded to my emails, BUT COMPLETELY BLEW OVER the crying in the bathroom...i was appalled, disappointed, but mostly frustrated that it quickly appeared as though this woman will not be reliable, capable, equipped to assist my daughter through this turbulent year..
but isn' t that exactly what the role of a guidance counselor describes??!! they help all types of students, and the ones struggling/failing/acting out/experiencing mental health crises are usually given a little more attention...as they should be..otherwise they get lost in the crowd..

do you have a teen who s mental health issues are creating problems in various aspects of their lives??? on top of finding a good therapist for the child, would you feel comfortable enough to relay (in the best interest of the child) the situation to the school system?? a guidance counselor??
while i did make initial contact with my child's counselor it was anything but comfortable or easy to commit to...i felt, and feel today that sharing certain types of information to school administrators, despite that it is in the best interest of the child to have that support, can be risky, embarrassing, consequential, and disappointing when you recognize the counselors instabilities--the reality that your child will not get adequate help..

we as parents have a responsibility to raise our children the best we can, it is not the school or staff's job..HOWEVER, when a child is CLEARLY having problems at school and with grades; displaying multiple symptoms of an acute mental health crisis/ hiding and crying in the bathroom regularly/ skipping classes--AND you ve already been contacted by the parent over same concerns--why are you not pulling the child into your office to get an idea of what's going on and how to address it....

i have found that especially in fcps, getting the right staff to help your child can be ridiculously tedious and exhausting..if you can t be an advocate, forget it...

SO..why involve fcps at all??? what are the benefits when compared to the costs and risks?? it is easier and safer to keep things within the family (and a therapist)
HOWEVER..what is best for my teen?? (not me, my child)..the addition of trusted staff member into her support system gives her an outlet within an extremely challenging environment..
WHAT ARE THE ROLES/RESPONSIBILITIES of fcps guidance counselors and associated staff members??
IS FCPS TRULY EQUIPPED TO ASSIST students with mental health issues and the additional problems they can cause??
with mental health in young people a hot topic in the news and at the top of the list of the surgeon general's priorities, where is fcps in preparedness, awareness, and ability to assist these hurting kids??

can anyone relate?? do you have an feedback/advice/experiences to share that can assist me through this difficult time?? i appreciate it!!

Many kids in schools have a temporary mental disorders. You child probably is one of them.


I beleive the role of the School Psychologist is to assess diagnse & treat these
disorders for students in school.


https://www.fcps.edu/resources/student-safety-and-wellness/school-psychology-services

No don’t go to FCPS. They are complete assholes. Take your child to a trained professional with a real degree and experience. Even then be careful, some of those can be idiots too.

thank you for the website--i actually read a lot about what the hs should be doing and can do, so that was quite helpful..her counselor isn t doing much of anything for her..

i feel like she needs that adult guidance at school right now because of how much she is struggling in that environment--in addition to a therapist on the outside--that would be a great support system for her..
but i m starting to feel like you do because as i said, her counselor hasn t done shit for her despite me requesting she do, and because at this point she should be on her radar because her grades have been terrible all year...

The typical Fairfax School guidance counselor probably has 200 students assigned to them, plus a pile of administrative duties to perform. They are not there to be your child's personal counselor, and they aren't there to be a surrogate you. Your mistake is assuming that their role is defined by the term "counselor" rather than "guidance". The guidance counsellor isn't there to help solve your child's problems. The guidance counsellor is there to point the child or the child's parents to resources that would allow the parent and child to solve the child's problems.

You say you feel your child needs __________ at school right now. Then move your child to a school that provides ____________.

by the way you responded one might assume you have experience either working for the county in some form or another or as a civil servant somewhere else..regardless of what you do and who you are, i have a right as a concerned parent, as her mother and biggest advocate, and as a former student who grew up in the same schools/county she has, to get frustrated/disappointed/confused/angry in this situation.. especially having witnessed and experienced first hand how our school system works, particularly to assist kids who are obviously falling off track..

i said quite clearly and truthfully that i absolutely believe and support the fact that it is not a staff member sresponsibility to parent anyone's child--that falls on myself and her grandparents working as a team..
i take my job as a mom, particularly as her advocate, to a powerful place knowing wo she is, adversity she s faced etc..and i don t and won ttolerate my daughter getting lost in the crowd when i ve done all i can to make it clear that 'hey, i m calling cuz i m really concerned about __' this is what s goin on, what s,1your role here?? 'then come to find out that she

English more bad than Ms Tang daughter get bad time from parent all see why girl no good now from parent

Wake up call Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The typical Fairfax School guidance counselor
> probably has 200 students assigned to them, plus a
> pile of administrative duties to perform. They
> are not there to be your child's personal
> counselor, and they aren't there to be a surrogate
> you. Your mistake is assuming that their role is
> defined by the term "counselor" rather than
> "guidance". The guidance counsellor isn't there
> to help solve your child's problems. The guidance
> counsellor is there to point the child or the
> child's parents to resources that would allow the
> parent and child to solve the child's problems.
>
> You say you feel your child needs __________ at
> school right now. Then move your child to a
> school that provides ____________.

your/this comment really irritated me to the point that i wrote quite a lengthy response..unfortunately, in i doing this from my phone, it got cut and the reply sent was not intended..
to be short:
i absolutely respect, empathize with, and understand most people who choose to work in social/public service positions (there s a few bad apples)--i m trying to get my masters in social work myself to work with mh/suds clients so i get..
i also NEVER once suggested that my child, or myself, is better than nor deserving of special/priority/exclusive treatment or assistance..we are equal to--thus if it s offered, and i do my research, it is--all i request is that she have access to any service that can help her..
furthermore, i completely agree with your points,. i m her mom, no one else, and not once did i suggest that the school be her secondary parent--lot s of parents do--i m not them.. i SEE ADVOCATING FOR HER in times of mental/emotional crises as a TOP responsibility and anything less than doing everything possible to make sure her needs are met would be an injustice to her..
i m a highly sensitive person so these situations are TREMENDOUSLY taxing, as i feel emotions much deeper than most and i m always analyzing/debating how i can ensure that the ultimate outcome is fair/right/considering to each party..in other words::it took months of observing/experiencing/analyzing my child s troubling/atypical behavior and emotional/mental crises; getting her a therapist, who she dropped; textbook 'childhood exposure to/adverse experiences/traumatic events correlate to' and now, in high school, i m watching all of this stuff that i knew and feared had a high potential to show itself not just show up, but completely begin fucking her up academically and emotionally..AFTER ALL THIS is when i reached out to her guidance counselor..not to request she be her surrogate but to explain what s been happening, reason for concerns, and asking she check in with and definitely keep an eye on her..it has not been happening..that was the reason for the post..

as i said, i completely agree with your statements and i act accordingly as a parent..i know that is not the case with the majority of parents and perhaps that explains your rush to judgement..i just hope that next time you won t be so quick to jump to conclusions.. we re not all the same..

I was not "quick to jump to conclusions". As a parent, taxpayer and community advocate I have been butting heads with the Fairfax County Public School administration for years. One of the things I have learned from this is that many of the things the administration has done which has negatively affected the quality of education provided to the majority of students have been the result of groups of vocal parents zealously advocating for the individual interests of their own kids. Nothing quick about that learning process.

If anything it is you that are jumping to conclusions. You called the guidance counselor out for failing to meet your daughter's needs. I simply am saying that the things you are calling your daughter's guidance counselor out for are things that should not be part of the job description of a public school guidance counselor in a system of over 150,000 students who is probably personally responsible for over 200 students. Meeting the specific needs of individual students is what the private school option is there for.

If you find it irritating to be told that your expectations are out of line, that is on you. Being a zealous advocate for your child who is in need does not give you a pass.

In response Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was not "quick to jump to conclusions". As a
> parent, taxpayer and community advocate I have
> been butting heads with the Fairfax County Public
> School administration for years. One of the
> things I have learned from this is that many of
> the things the administration has done which has
> negatively affected the quality of education
> provided to the majority of students have been the
> result of groups of vocal parents zealously
> advocating for the individual interests of their
> own kids. Nothing quick about that learning
> process.
>
> If anything it is you that are jumping to
> conclusions. You called the guidance counselor
> out for failing to meet your daughter's needs. I
> simply am saying that the things you are calling
> your daughter's guidance counselor out for are
> things that should not be part of the job
> description of a public school guidance counselor
> in a system of over 150,000 students who is
> probably personally responsible for over 200
> students. Meeting the specific needs of
> individual students is what the private school
> option is there for.
>
> If you find it irritating to be told that your
> expectations are out of line, that is on you.
> Being a zealous advocate for your child who is in
> need does not give you a pass.

first things first::i have called the counselor 1 time and it was to initiate some help and guidance for my teenager.. no one else has been contacted regarding this matter..
second::i can t believe i need to do this but:: https://www.fcps.edu/academics/school-counseling-services

this page explains the role s and responsibilities of a fcps guidance counselor..in fact, i ve copied and pasted the the list a little farther down.. in the first section, these responsibilities are EXACTLY what i asked of said counselor, ok??

Monitors data to facilitate student improvement.
Provides strategies for closing the achievement gap.


.. PARTICULARLY THE FIRST ONE!! (i asked her almost verbatim prior to really doing the research),.. literally asked her to monitor my daughter s academic performance because she was already failing so many classes..hmmm..is that an unreasonable request?? i mean it s definitely part of the job description, a responsibility..and yet she s not doing anything to monitor my teen..

here are the roles as listed that i inquired about and requested for teen due to all the behaviors/mental and emotional state/level of serious concern at the time::

Establish effective study skills.
Develop positive feelings about work, family and society.
Build positive feelings towards self and others.
Identify and accept their own and others’ strengths and weaknesses.
Recognize the causes and effects of their actions.
Become responsible for their behavior.
Receive crisis intervention when necessary.

sounds like a lot to ask of anyone, but in reality almost every one of these roles is addressing 3 really big SRLF problems--LOW/LACKING SELF ESTEEM/SELF LOVE/SELF RESPECT

funny, i specially expressed that i was consistently observing and hearing from teen behaviors and words that all indicated how low her self esteem is and i provided examples that were happening at least 4 times a week.

THERE IS NOTHING OVER ZEALOUS in requesting/then expecting that an individual who is paid to be entrusted with overseeing your child s well being and school performance, DO THEIR JOB-/LITERALLY!!--LITERALLY NOT A SINGLE REQUEST WAS OUTSIDE THE job description!!!

thirdly::advocating for your child so that their mental and emotional issues and needs are addressed as described by a provider or institution is a fundamental parental responsibility.. ARE YOU REALLY TELLING ME THAT YOU NEVER LOOKED OUT FOR YOUR KIDS IN A SIMILAR WAY??!! perhaps they re just perfect people??
but no one s perfect.. and just based on what you ve written and the attitudes and rigidity that permeatess from the words--..

fourthly:i m a parent, taxpayer, (all sorts of) advocate just like you..i asked for help in the initial post from parents, regarding teens mental health issues and fcps.. and here you come along with this statement that as it turns out, is just a reflection of the anger and bias you have towards other parents from past experiences..and frankly, most of your points were irrelevant because you mixed key facts--shit!! if i m gonna rant to/on someone for something, especially something with their kids, i damn well make sure that my words are on point and aligned with theirs..
for someone so passionate and vocal about this, it s just baffling and scary that i felt it necessary to share the website with you to clarify the validity of my problem...

YOU jumped to conclusions.you judged me based on past interactions with other parents who clearly you do not agree with..i bet you read2 or 3 lines of my post and that was enough of a trigger.. obviously you didn't read the whole thing...
i have no problem admitting when i m wrong... i have no problem taking feedback::i fuckin requested it.. what i do have a HUGE problem with are people who lack the ability/willingness/compassion to put themselves in another s shoes BEFORE they characterize/judge/decide upon..RESULT IS YOU RE SELF INTEREST IS TRANSPARENT::you misjudge and you say things that are actually irrelevant because getting to know another personalways all about you, not the other person.was.and ultimately any respect for your opinions or who you are is lost..
i can't tolerate the laziness and lack of effort to try to connect/empathize..
UNBELIEVABLE..
UCCKK..

Promotes a rigorous academic curriculum for every student.
Ensures equitable access to educational opportunities.
Fosters advocacy for students.
Supports development of skills to increase student success.
(Adapted from ASCA National Model, 2005)

The school counselor works directly with students in individual and group counseling sessions as well as in classroom lessons so students may:

Adjust to a new school.
Be successful in school.
Establish effective study skills.
Develop positive feelings about work, family and society.
Build positive feelings towards self and others.
Develop skills in interacting and communicating with others.
Cope with change in themselves and their surroundings.
Identify and accept their own and others’ strengths and weaknesses.
Recognize the causes aneffects of their actions.
Become responsible for their behavior.
Receive crisis intervention when necessary

^^^^ This guy is full-on window licking retarded. No point in trying to engage a retard.

I believe our kid needs to be assessed by the school psychologist not the counselor.

Something misfired in your kids brain to cause the failures. She needs to be formally assessed.

Once you get a psychologist to diagnose her with some type of disorder then you can file a formal request to have the school give her special attention and they must do it.

Your rant is to long, nobody got time for that!
Attachments:

perhaps your mind can t handle complex thoughts??..
oh it must be wonderful being simple..
INCREDIBLE..

ridndwv Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> perhaps your mind can t handle complex
> thoughts??..
> oh it must be wonderful being simple..
> INCREDIBLE..


At least I’m not in the bathroom crying calling Mommy three times a day, your daughter is a loser case solved.
Attachments:

Me again Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I believe our kid needs to be assessed by the
> school psychologist not the counselor.
>
> Something misfired in your kids brain to cause the
> failures. She needs to be formally assessed.
>
> Once you get a psychologist to diagnose her with
> some type of disorder then you can file a formal
> request to have the school give her special
> attention and they must do it.


Whatever she has appears to be hereditary. We can see that from here.

Is she still mentality ill? You know! Some kids have real problems. Kinda seems like your daughter is just another niglet being raised by a white mother who she can’t identify with. Real talk bitch.
Attachments:

How’s your little
-------------------------------------------------------
> raised by a white
> mother who she can’t identify with.


i agree that a biracial child could certainly struggle with id development when the single parent can only mirror half of who she is racially.. however, identity is complex and race is one piece to the puzzle..

..when it comes to our relationship our bond, color becomes irrelevant..it s outside 'us' that race really has an influence..

Getting raised by a white devil Becky. That’s why da sister’s crazy. Look at this nigga! His black daddy around and brother still can’t dance. Mixed kids are fucked.
Attachments:

ridndwv Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> How’s your little
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > raised by a white
> > mother who she can’t identify with.
>
>
> i agree that a biracial child could certainly
> struggle with id development when the single
> parent can only mirror half of who she is
> racially.. however, identity is complex and race
> is one piece to the puzzle..
>
> ..when it comes to our relationship our bond,
> color becomes irrelevant..it s outside 'us' that
> race really has an influence..


If the rest of us had a nickel for every nog that had a kid with whitey and then dashed...

>
>
> If the rest of us had a nickel for every nog that
> had a kid with whitey and then dashed...

not quite how the story goes--i left him.. but i ve never attempted to sabotage or obstruct his access to his kid--i ve always encouraged it for our child s sake.. sadly he chose a different option for himself..

if i had a nickel for the number of opportunities he s been given and rejected...

Hello. I faced such problem. My son had severe depression and psychological difficulties. I did not know what to do and how to help my child overcome this. But fortunately, somehow I went to one psychological resource in the section Calmerry Anniversary in Numbers and read the reviews. I was impressed. I contacted a professional psychologist from this service and after several sessions of online consultations with my child, he became better. And now everything is fine.

Hello. I faced such problem. My son had severe depression and psychological difficulties. I did not know what to do and how to help my child overcome this. But fortunately, somehow I went to one psychological resource in the section Calmerry Anniversary in Numbers and read the reviews. I was impressed. I contacted a professional psychologist from this service and after several sessions of online consultations with my child, he became better. And now everything is fine.

Definition: "WAG THE DOG", meaningless

Definition: "the tail wagging the dog", teachers are telling parents their politics and religion and getting more pay than the parents, and that is the tail wagging the dog

How’s your little niglet? Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is she still mentality ill? You know! Some kids

DROP DEAD YOU TERRORIST SACK OF SHIT, with your "mental problem arrest threats" and youR

TOTALLY FAKE LIBRARY OF PROPAGANDA PHOTOS

Billi Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hello. I faced such problem. My son had severe
> depression and psychological difficulties. I did
> not know what to do and how to help my child
> overcome this. But fortunately, somehow I went to
> one psychological resource in the section href="https://calmerry.com/blog/calmerry-news/calm
> erry-turns-1-year-old-heres-what-weve-achieved-tog
> ether/">Calmerry Anniversary in Numbers and
> read the reviews. I was impressed. I contacted a
> professional psychologist from this service and
> after several sessions of online consultations
> with my child, he became better. And now
> everything is fine.

thanks for the advice!! that s great he s doing better...i actually found her a new therapist within her insurance who she feels a much stronger connection to, so that is significant...the school, that s another story...at least she has a therapist she trusts now..