So heres the deal. I have a psycho ex-boyfriend who has tried to contact me over the past 3 and 1/2 years repeatedly even though I have told him to stop. I didnt allude to it, I plainly told him to STOP.

Are there any sort of charges I can press on him to make him get the fucking hint? I tried to look online for harassment laws, because I consider this harassment. He has repeatedly contacted me even after I said not to, and that I would file charges if he responded, and of course, him being the fucking psycho that he is- responded.

He was an abusive boyfriend who unfortunately, I never called the police on. Im considering possibly pushing this into court saying that he is causing emotion stress- which is very true because our relationship was so horrible that even now, I am dealing with daily troubles because of his shit.

Help?

Restraining order.

Well thats the thing, is that something I can do since he is only contacting me online?
I have a suspicion that he egged my car on Halloween. Dont tell me about "it was teenagers" blah blah blah. It wasnt, just trust me.

UGH! SO FRUSTRATING!!!!

Mind if I ask you - how old are you two?

Egging a car is not something an adult would do.

Hes a really fucking immature 21 year old.

The Fairfax Underground Justice League is at your service.

Seriously, if he's sending you harrassing/threatening messages online, save all of them. In fact, organize them into a record of sorts. Contact whoever his email/IM company is and file a complaint. Do it every single time he contacts you. If you can prove he's doing it at work on company time, that's another avenue you might think about.

Don't respond to any of it if you can help it...even something innocuous can keep provoking responses from him. You want to be able to show that all of this is unprovoked and you're not a willing participant in the back and forth of it. You also want to hope that he'll just get tired of trying unsuccessfully to get a rise out of you and just give up. If you're going to respond in any fashion, just say "Please stop contacting me" and make sure you record that part of the message too.

Make sure your friends/family know what's going on. This way, if some sort of mystery vandalism or something like that happens (or, God forbid, something worse) everyone is clued in and knows where to start looking. And if this stuff starts manifesting itself in reality, definitely call the cops.

Last but not least, it's probably wisest to seek the advice of someone with actual legal training. Or a ninja.

Here's the deal-


Send him a certified letter in the mail and also send a copy of it to the nearest police station. This letter should include his name, your name, date and exactly what you don't want him to do(contact you by any means). The letter will be stored on file and you will have his signiature from the certified copy saying he received such letter.

Once he violates this command, you can either file a poliuce report and get a case number, or just go directly to a magistrates office and have them issue a warrant(you need all of his current information) for computer/phone harrassment. You will then have a court date set and it will go from there...

Haha well I am guilty of responding back with my side of whatever argument was going on at the moment but then ending it with STOP CONTACTING ME!

...can I still file a complaint?

What he needs is a good asskicking. Or a good scare.

Dont take that the wrong way, Im not doing this out of spite, Im doing it because its causing a lot of problems for me and Im tired of it.

Well, if you REACT by RESPONDING, it will never stop.

You need to END ALL COMMUNICATION with the guy.

Responding = asking for more.

Andrea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Haha well I am guilty of responding back with my
> side of whatever argument was going on at the
> moment but then ending it with STOP CONTACTING ME!
>
>
> ...can I still file a complaint?
>
> What he needs is a good asskicking. Or a good
> scare.

Hence my ninja recommendation. I would do it myself, as my strength and quickness strikes fear into the hearts of even the coldest-hearted breed of thug, but I am a gentle soul and prefer the lusty heat of passionate lovemaking with that beguiling creature known as "woman." Or "women" as the case may be.

But seriously, if you want it to stop you pretty much need to limit your responses to PLEASE STOP CONTACTING ME, if you respond at all. Every time you message him back just reconfirms to him that he has your attention, which is clearly what he's looking for.

Yeah. Well his last message was like "and dont respond to this message" like Ive been the one harassing him.

My first response to him was literally just that "Stop contacting me."

Then he just kept doing it!

I am thisfuckingclose to even just going to court and saying that he is causing emotional stress (which is completely true) because all the shit he did back when we were dating was fucking horrible and uncalled for. Lots of emotional abuse and some physical and sexual.

Of course, I dont have anything to prove that he did that back then I dont think, but I am so tired of hearing his fucking name, hearing OF him, hearing FROM him.

He has called me in the past, once or twice not very long ago from his friend's phone.

ksajdfkshadf. GRRR.

(1) Call the cops. They will contact him and tell him to cool it. (2) Change your email ? (3) Have an attorney send him a letter threatening legal action (4) Buy a gun, or at least a large can of cs gas or mace. (5) Hire me for $150.00 to scare the hell out of him without him being thrown into the shark cage at sea world, or $250 with the toss into the shark cage. Two way airfare,hotel, rental car (I will need a trunk) and ALL day park pass is additional. A large one way, Fed ex freight approved box for him, an additional $50.00

Dropping the box off of the Fed Ex loading dock into the rental car n/c

Missing and hitting a fork lift $15 extra

Pocketing all the cash and dumping the box in the everglades, profitable. ( or is it supposed to me priceless? _

HAHAHA Thanks dirtyharry, but my current boyfriend is actually in the military and away on deployment so if I really wanted to cause some harm, ex would definitely be on the receiving end lol. I also learned how to shoot when I was 6 (have a damn good rifle shot thank you! and an AR-15) so guns and violence arent really an issue.

Hes actually been contacting me on myspace. I blocked him, then he comes up with other accounts. He is a fucking psycho.

In a way, Im afraid that if I call the cops, I will have my car egged again, be stalked (I know he has followed me and my boyfriend on at least one occasion) and be more harassed.

Will the cops really do anything? Thats why I havent called them yet because I dont want them to brush it off like its nothing.

Here is the Virginia State Code for Stalking. Read it and weep, unless this dick places you in the categories listed in paragraph A you are pretty much screwed again.

§ 18.2-60.3. Stalking; penalty.

A. Any person, except a law-enforcement officer, as defined in § 9.1-101, and acting in the performance of his official duties, and a registered private investigator, as defined in § 9.1-138, who is regulated in accordance with § 9.1-139 and acting in the course of his legitimate business, who on more than one occasion engages in conduct directed at another person with the intent to place, or when he knows or reasonably should know that the conduct places that other person in reasonable fear of death, criminal sexual assault, or bodily injury to that other person or to that other person's family or household member is guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.

B. A third or subsequent conviction occurring within five years of a conviction for an offense under this section or for a similar offense under the law of any other jurisdiction shall be a Class 6 felony.

C. A person may be convicted under this section irrespective of the jurisdiction or jurisdictions within the Commonwealth wherein the conduct described in subsection A occurred, if the person engaged in that conduct on at least one occasion in the jurisdiction where the person is tried. Evidence of any such conduct that occurred outside the Commonwealth may be admissible, if relevant, in any prosecution under this section provided that the prosecution is based upon conduct occurring within the Commonwealth.

D. Upon finding a person guilty under this section, the court shall, in addition to the sentence imposed, issue an order prohibiting contact between the defendant and the victim or the victim's family or household member.

E. The Department of Corrections, sheriff or regional jail director shall give notice prior to the release from a state correctional facility or a local or regional jail of any person incarcerated upon conviction of a violation of this section, to any victim of the offense who, in writing, requests notice, or to any person designated in writing by the victim. The notice shall be given at least fifteen days prior to release of a person sentenced to a term of incarceration of more than thirty days or, if the person was sentenced to a term of incarceration of at least forty-eight hours but no more than thirty days, twenty-four hours prior to release. If the person escapes, notice shall be given as soon as practicable following the escape. The victim shall keep the Department of Corrections, sheriff or regional jail director informed of the current mailing address and telephone number of the person named in the writing submitted to receive notice.

All information relating to any person who receives or may receive notice under this subsection shall remain confidential and shall not be made available to the person convicted of violating this section.

For purposes of this subsection, "release" includes a release of the offender from a state correctional facility or a local or regional jail (i) upon completion of his term of incarceration or (ii) on probation or parole.

No civil liability shall attach to the Department of Corrections nor to any sheriff or regional jail director or their deputies or employees for a failure to comply with the requirements of this subsection.

F. For purposes of this section:

"Family or household member" has the same meaning as provided in § 16.1-228.

I see you finally say what he does for a living. Listen missy, contact his command or the investigative service for whatever branch of military he is in. Provide the documentation of the Emails to them and the military can REALLY make his miserable life EXTREMELY miserable if he continues to contact you, especially on Gov't PC's.

By the way are you blond or 14 years old, well DUH.

I am neither blond or 14...

my CURRENT boyfriend is in the military!

it is my EX that is harassing me.


I dont know what my ex does. Im pretty sure he is bothering me from his computer at his house (he still lives with his mother.) Yeah, hes a loser.


Edit: I read those laws and got pretty irritated lol, which is why I posted here hoping someone could give me more insight on what I could do about this.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/08/2007 05:21PM by Andrea.

I'd say get back together with him...he probably would stop acting weird.

I would rather shoot myself in the face repeatedly than EVER get near him again lol.

Andrea, you sound hot.

I'm not like those other guys.

And you current BF is overseas,correct? I'd like to take you out to an expensive restaurant.

Uhhh hahaha. Thanks, but I like my boyfriend and he should be coming back sometime late December/early January.

I just dont want to wait that long to get this dipshit out of my life.

Kiev Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well, if you REACT by RESPONDING, it will never
> stop.
>
> You need to END ALL COMMUNICATION with the guy.
>
> Responding = asking for more.

EXACTLY! it's like forum trolls, you keep telling them to stop posting and they will keep posting but if you ignore them, they have no fun and go away. if he contacts you by phone/mail/email/IM/telegram or... messenger pigeon, do not respond in any way, shape or form. if he comes up to you, dont even say a word and dont make a facial expression. if he comes to your... dwelling, close the door on him. if he bangs on the door, call the cops.

alternatively, you could kill him but it can get messy and it's hard to find a decent spot to bury a corpse around here. stabbing/shooting him and then letting him live is bad because then there's legal stuff and jail time.


note: for self defense, tazers are good and waaay better than any sort of pepper spray not to mention, you can shock him a bunch more times after he's down.

good luck!


"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."

Andrea Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well thats the thing, is that something I can do
> since he is only contacting me online?
> I have a suspicion that he egged my car on
> Halloween. Dont tell me about "it was teenagers"
> blah blah blah. It wasnt, just trust me.
>
> UGH! SO FRUSTRATING!!!!


Yeah. Posting this shit on a website should do lots to keep him from stalking you.

Sounds to me like this a sick game both of you are playing on each other. Maybe if you weren't playing mind-games with this weirdo, he wouldn't be egging your car.

Contact the office on domestic violence in the area you live. That group of man haters will clue you in on how to really ruin his life. Protective orders, media coverage, how to play the victim etc.
They are experts on how to make it seem like it is always the man who is wrong.

WashingToneLocian - he doesnt know about this website. He is an idiot, spends most of his time on Myspace and on porn sites lol.

Scik games were played BACK when we WERE together (starting about 5 years ago). They were over about 3 1/2 years ago.

He is the one contacting ME. I told him to stop repeatedly.

Ignore him. Never respond in any way. Do not tell him to stop. Do NOT RESPOND IN ANY WAY. Block his emails, have them sent to spam folder. If he calls and you accidentally answer, hang up immediately. If he can't get a rise out of you, he'll stop. I promise. Ignore him, in every way.

Can you help me?

I have a demented guy harassing me. I block him, he changes his email address or phone number to get through then I block that and he changes it again; forcing me to change MY phone number and MY email address that I really would rather keep but at this stage, I guess I'll have to do it.

He hasn't done enough to warrant a proper Protective Order but he is two steps away of coming completely unhinged. I quit responding to him, acknowledging his existence for the past two weeks. He started with texts, then emails, now he is sending me video professing his love (actually just lust) for me. He is really scaring me.

you would be good citizen to avoid hillary style "criminal prosecution" (civil/restraining if necessary)

step 1: give him respect - don't treat him like crap - or you may get what you served 10 fold. tell him you've found somone else and need to persue a different life - that there's nothing wrong with him but you have already definitely ending things.

step 2: change your phone number. i might simply because the fucking phone company continually harasses me with fake SMS messages and insurance company ads - using my time and money - because that asshole obama is letting them do it. being 21 he just might be too stupid to get it. young is not the same as old. and how old are you?

step 3: there was other good advice above

step 4: WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE AUTOMATICALLY BELIEVE YOU OVER HIM ? YOUR SAYING WHAT THEY ALL SAY. women set men up for prison - and even get back together and break up again just to continue it. and they've been caught doing that, and caught doing worse. i think i'll hear both sides of the story if i hear one side, thank you. it's like a hamburger without fries: you simply cannot do just one.

whatever you do DO NOT:

#1 blame him and make him think he's deficient. it would only encourage him to "become corrected and try again"

#2 don't give him any idea that talking can change your mind, tell him POLITELY that he'll be happier when he find for some who wishes to spend time.

don't be afraid to talk to say no. if you simply hang up the phone with no indication there has been a final break up: you could be seen by others as being a drama queen creating the situation intently

(polite and useful termination conversation, without disrespect, is what's called "closure"). some people die because they'd rather insult and play games with peoples minds than be a good person: ask the police if that's true.

#1 remember many men (and women) before their first "big loss" (so they think) have not yet "had their bubble burst". they still think love and chasing are possible and can become terribly distrought on the first big (divorce, breakup, depends)

don't make it harder - it's only fair he learns his lesson, has his "bubble burst", and finds someone else with more normal "expectations"

it's about expectations and hope and about the string that holds the world together, you see

obama used it all sending himself x-mas presents !!!!!!!!