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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
tcgfn
Posted by:
tcgfn
()
Date: December 07, 2013 02:51AM
tcgfn = this contemptible good for nothing
"I would not be a member of any club that would have someone like me for a member."
--Groucho Marx
exactly
I have a small, scattered family. Divorced, no children. I work one and a half jobs. At the full-time one they want to promote me. I have been resisting that for obvious reasons. To my amazement, I have a few friends. who have no idea what goes on inside my head.
I"m responsible, productive, funny when fed a straight line, and empathic (of others) At work, I play the "I'm normal" game. But ...
I occupy space and consume resources. I'm $3.55 worth of common chemicals. I have no redeeming value as a human being.
If I want to see who is responsible for my condition, I look in the mirror. I am totally and absolutely the only person whose choices made me who I am.
From my own character defects, ignorance, laziness, cowardice, sloth or other synonyms for being a loser. No one other person knows all the damning details of my life well enough to put it all together. There are only two possible conclusions. Pity or contempt. Since I've had most of life's advantages, and snatched failure from many a victory, contempt is the only conclusion that fits.
tcgnf is unfit for human company. My presence in a group or room insults every
RHB (respectable human being) present.
Who is a respectable human being? Anyone who isn't me.
Indoors I am required to stay at least 25 feet from every RHB. Fifty feet outdoors. (Need to earn a living. At work give myself a pass on these).
I may not speak unless spoken to. In the unlikely event I am spoken to, I will answer politely and briefly. And move to the required distance asap.
Why may I not speak unless spoken to? Because I have no right to violate a RHB's peace and quiet. And, as this post shows, I have nothing to say worth anyone's attention.
tcgfn is incapable of merit. If I do {whatever} it's a guaranteed fail. If someone thinks otherwise I will listen and thank them. But I don't allow myself to believe it.
My continued existence dishonors my family's name. I follow Bushido ... more or less. There is one thing I could do to cleanse my family's honor but I am too much a coward to do it. That's where some of the self-contempt comes from.
"But look," I tell myself, "what if I live for several more decades, thinking when I see myself in the mirror, there you are, you contemptible good for nothing. Quit your whining. You don't deserve any better. Suck it up."
Have no fear that I will harm myself. I'm too much a coward to do the honorable thing. And there are mirrors everywhere.
"I would not be a member of any club that would have someone like me for a member."
--Groucho Marx
exactly
I have a small, scattered family. Divorced, no children. I work one and a half jobs. At the full-time one they want to promote me. I have been resisting that for obvious reasons. To my amazement, I have a few friends. who have no idea what goes on inside my head.
I"m responsible, productive, funny when fed a straight line, and empathic (of others) At work, I play the "I'm normal" game. But ...
I occupy space and consume resources. I'm $3.55 worth of common chemicals. I have no redeeming value as a human being.
If I want to see who is responsible for my condition, I look in the mirror. I am totally and absolutely the only person whose choices made me who I am.
From my own character defects, ignorance, laziness, cowardice, sloth or other synonyms for being a loser. No one other person knows all the damning details of my life well enough to put it all together. There are only two possible conclusions. Pity or contempt. Since I've had most of life's advantages, and snatched failure from many a victory, contempt is the only conclusion that fits.
tcgnf is unfit for human company. My presence in a group or room insults every
RHB (respectable human being) present.
Who is a respectable human being? Anyone who isn't me.
Indoors I am required to stay at least 25 feet from every RHB. Fifty feet outdoors. (Need to earn a living. At work give myself a pass on these).
I may not speak unless spoken to. In the unlikely event I am spoken to, I will answer politely and briefly. And move to the required distance asap.
Why may I not speak unless spoken to? Because I have no right to violate a RHB's peace and quiet. And, as this post shows, I have nothing to say worth anyone's attention.
tcgfn is incapable of merit. If I do {whatever} it's a guaranteed fail. If someone thinks otherwise I will listen and thank them. But I don't allow myself to believe it.
My continued existence dishonors my family's name. I follow Bushido ... more or less. There is one thing I could do to cleanse my family's honor but I am too much a coward to do it. That's where some of the self-contempt comes from.
"But look," I tell myself, "what if I live for several more decades, thinking when I see myself in the mirror, there you are, you contemptible good for nothing. Quit your whining. You don't deserve any better. Suck it up."
Have no fear that I will harm myself. I'm too much a coward to do the honorable thing. And there are mirrors everywhere.
Re: tcgfn
Posted by:
Therapy or Drugs?
()
Date: December 07, 2013 06:09AM
I'm not a doctor, but consider it.
Re: tcgfn
Posted by:
Please get some help
()
Date: December 07, 2013 06:53AM
Please seek out some professional help.
If you need a starting point for mental health services it is the Fairfax County Community Services Board:
CSB Entry and Referral Services (available Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 6 p.m.).
CSB Emergency Services (available 24 hours a day) – 703-573-5679.
If you need a starting point for mental health services it is the Fairfax County Community Services Board:
CSB Entry and Referral Services (available Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 6 p.m.).
CSB Emergency Services (available 24 hours a day) – 703-573-5679.