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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Let's say I'm told to show up for jury duty.. I assume there will be some sort
of selection process where the prosecutors, lawyers, and judeges will screen
out potential jurors.
Personally, I believe anyone who's charged with a crime is guilty. If he/she
wan't guilty, the prosecutor wouldn't have bothere wasting time charing him/her
in the first place. So I think a trial is a total waste of time.
If I get selected to serve as a juror, how do I get out of it, LEGALLY?
That's kind of a warped attitude, but I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion, especially if YOU are ever arrested and just want to go straight to jail.
As for getting out of jury duty, this is going to be a pretty difficult task. If you do a no-show, a U.S. Marshal will be summoned to your home or office and drive you to the court house.
I've been called for jury duty several times over the years - both Federal and Circuit Courts, but only selected for jury duty three times. Sitting on a jury can be most interesting experience.
it just occured to me that with my kind of attitude towards "innocent until proven guilty", I will probably be kicked out of the jury pool by any defense attorney...
come to think of it, there is a law enforcement agency in the US that is allowed to use "guilty until proven innocent".... namely, the US State Dept consular officials overseas and DHS/ICE/CBP agents. but that's an entirely different issue.
Your best bet (for the future anyway) is to cancel your voter registration.
That's what I did in 1972, when jury duty cost me a job I liked. I haven't been called since, but my wife (voter) is called every few years for jury duty.
Face it, nobody's individual vote makes any difference anyway....so why put up with the jury hassle?
Stating that you think they're already guilty will get you out of jury duty.
If you have such an attitude, they're probably better off without you anyway.
I was once called for jury duty and one of the cases I may have wound up on
was for a 10 year old murder with new evidence. The Beaner had been in this
country for 15 years and couldnt speak a word of English. It would have been
a long drawn out ordeal and I had no desire to sit through it. With small
children at the time, being sequestered for possibly 2 weeks had no appeal
whatsoever. The crime was committed with a gun, so when questioned, I told
them (truthfully) that I was a Life Member of the NRA and a strong supporter
of Gov. Gilmore's Project Exile. They did not call me.
If all else fails, show up drunk and talking to yourself incoherently. That
works every time. Dont shower for a week and use profanity liberally. Try
arriving at the court house pushing a grocery cart full of newspapers. Throw
a fit when Security wont let you bring it in.
When you go for screening, just freely admit you are a racist. They will send you home. That's what I did. It's a day off from work and you just saved yourself the pain in the ass of having to do jury duty.
jak blak Wrote:
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> When you go for screening, just freely admit you
> are a racist. They will send you home. That's what
> I did. It's a day off from work and you just saved
> yourself the pain in the ass of having to do jury
> duty.
A friend of mine that works for a government human rights agency told the judge that in his job he has knowledge that the police often unfairly target minorities. He was sent home. I am not sure if that will work for a civil trial, though.
This goes back to my gripe of people picking and choosing when to be a citizen. You enjoy voting, constitutional rights, and all the other perks of citizenship, but would lie to get out of giving someone a fair trial. Real nice, asshole.
MrMephisto Wrote:
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> This goes back to my gripe of people picking and
> choosing when to be a citizen. You enjoy voting,
> constitutional rights, and all the other perks of
> citizenship, but would lie to get out of giving
> someone a fair trial. Real nice, asshole.
Yea, but jury duty sucks ass. let somebody else with more free time than I do sit on a jury. It's real easy to get off for jury duty...just show the least bit of prejudice, and you're outta there. You'll already be in Fairfax, so you have an early start on the day. Enjoy the sunshine. At my job, 'jury duty' is paid-time-off. everybody wins! boom shaka laka
I have been tagged twice for JD, and my tips for getting out of it are these:
- Be young. they never pick people younger than 35 for juries.
- Be enthusiastic. I badly wanted to be on the jury and it showed, so of course I did not get picked.
- Be elderly. The most elderly people in the place didn't even finish telling the judge about their medical problems before he dismissed them. On the reverse, the ones who didn't complain got picked.
"Stating that you think they're already guilty will get you out of jury duty. "
Out of jury duty and into a cell for contempt of court.
Judges have heard it all, and have very little patience with people who think they can say "I think they're guilty" or "I'm racist" or some other similar magic phrase to get out of jury duty.
I've been called to jury duty 7 times in my life and everytime, I'm excused. I always bring a stack of politically extremist books, i.e. "Mein Kampf" to read. The attorney takes one look and sends me home...
just dont go if you get called. tehy cant prove you got the mail or that you even live there. lay low for a while. i did that once, seriously. like 6 months later i called them and said i had been out of town due to work.
BEH Wrote:
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> Getting out of jury duty is easy.
>
> Just tell the judge you hate blacks and Asians.
tubby Wrote:
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> Your best bet (for the future anyway) is to cancel
> your voter registration.
>
> That's what I did in 1972, when jury duty cost me
> a job I liked. I haven't been called since, but
> my wife (voter) is called every few years for jury
> duty.
Tubby, if jury duty cost you a job, you needed to see a lawyer. It's illegal for an employer to sack you because of jury duty.
wnrsm Wrote:
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> I hope I never have any important part of my life
> end up in the hands a jury.
I feel sorry for jurors. I was just reading an article that said this:
"Many jurors apparently went into hiding amid public outrage over the verdict and refused to comment, but two have said prosecutors couldn't conclusively prove how Caylee died."
When the ACA questions the prospective jurors walk over and plant a big smooch on his or her mouth. Whichever gender you and they are. Then take a dump in the center of the room. I guarantee you will not be selected. Your life will become interesting fast.