HomeFairfax General ForumArrest/Ticket SearchWiki newPictures/VideosChatArticlesLinksAbout
Off-Topic :  Fairfax Underground fairfax underground logo
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Shayers ()
Date: May 06, 2008 12:34PM

Can anyone out there provide information on a family in Front Royal named Funk? I've heard stories of inbreeding and general nastiness. What can I say--I'm fascinated.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Gravis ()
Date: May 06, 2008 12:41PM

i think the stories you heard are false because a) it's rather fantastic b) i think they would be arrested for incest if that kind of shit happened.


"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."095042938540

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: TheMeeper ()
Date: May 06, 2008 01:12PM

I've hung out at the Royal Oak Tavern in Front Royal a few times. Go hang out there for an evening and you'll either:

a) meet these Funk people
b) meet people who are friends with the Funk's
or c) meet people with the same unintentionally-hilarious social qualities as the Funk's

It's a scary trip down redneck lane every time I've been in there, you're bound to find exactly what you're lookin' for. If these Funk people are real they probably hang out there.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Fairfax Funks ()
Date: May 06, 2008 01:23PM

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I've hung out at the Royal Oak Tavern in Front
> Royal a few times. Go hang out there for an
> evening and you'll either:
>
> a) meet these Funk people
> b) meet people who are friends with the Funk's
> or c) meet people with the same
> unintentionally-hilarious social qualities as the
> Funk's
>
> It's a scary trip down redneck lane every time
> I've been in there, you're bound to find exactly
> what you're lookin' for. If these Funk people are
> real they probably hang out there.


And Fairfax is a dull, boring, pile of plastic vinyl sided houses with strip malls and vanilla flavor, along with dull, boring , vanilla people whos idea of a good time is watching the Washington Redskins on TV, or getting in their SUV and dining at TGIFRIDAY'S.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: WashingToneLocian ()
Date: May 06, 2008 01:28PM

Fairfax Funks Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> And Fairfax is a dull, boring, pile of plastic
> vinyl sided houses with strip malls and vanilla
> flavor, along with dull, boring , vanilla people
> whos idea of a good time is watching the
> Washington Redskins on TV, or getting in their SUV
> and dining at TGIFRIDAY'S.


STFU Meade!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: TheMeeper ()
Date: May 06, 2008 02:26PM

FYI:

There are 5 TGI Friday's in Fairfax county. Our population is about 1,100,000.

On the other hand, Richmond has 4 locations, and a population of less than 200,000. If you included the Richmond suburbs, the ratio would be even higher.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: WashingToneLocian ()
Date: May 06, 2008 04:54PM

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> FYI:
>
> There are 5 TGI Friday's in Fairfax county. Our
> population is about 1,100,000.
>
> On the other hand, Richmond has 4 locations, and a
> population of less than 200,000. If you included
> the Richmond suburbs, the ratio would be even
> higher.


I understand Meade will be performing at TGI Fridays this weekend. Nobody can hold a candle to his 37 pieces of flair and his rendition of "Happy, Happy Birthday" (public domain version, please)

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: SE ()
Date: May 06, 2008 11:33PM

Shayers Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Can anyone out there provide information on a
> family in Front Royal named Funk? I've heard
> stories of inbreeding and general nastiness. What
> can I say--I'm fascinated.

Don't be ashamed, I am fascinated myself by the Dents and Decaturs in PWC. Same story.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: TECHNOVIKING ()
Date: May 07, 2008 07:51AM

and then there is Elmo C. Hott! up near leesburgh. highly venerable Old Virginia family......

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Bonfire ()
Date: May 07, 2008 08:32AM

Wow, the Dent's. I havent heard that name in years. Used to be Cherry Hill road family in PWC. Dent's seafood. Heard some stories about that family. Dana Dent used to work at a bank in PWC. She was pretty in a white trashy easy girl, dyed blond hair kind of way. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM white trash women!! Is there anything they won't do

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: FairfaxFunky ()
Date: May 07, 2008 05:37PM

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> FYI:
>
> There are 5 TGI Friday's in Fairfax county. Our
> population is about 1,100,000.
>
> On the other hand, Richmond has 4 locations, and a
> population of less than 200,000. If you included
> the Richmond suburbs, the ratio would be even
> higher.


I was just using that as an example. Folks in Fairfax go to any of those places- Outback Steakhouse, Applebee's, etc. They're all the same. Or maybe if they're feeling more adventerous they go to Panera Bread after a rousing night at Barnes and Noble looking through the best seller sections after they slurp down their Starbucks coffee...

You can call Front Royal people "rednecks' But at least Front Royal isnt soft serve vanilla and has some culture and the beauty of the blue ridge behind it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: TheMeeper ()
Date: May 07, 2008 05:42PM

For the record, I wasn't calling the people of Front Royal rednecks. I was calling the clientele of the Royal Oak Tavern rednecks. I'm guessing you've never been in there, and that means you are not qualified to discuss the subject any further.


As far as your other points, they are too stupid to argue about.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: TheMeeper ()
Date: May 07, 2008 06:09PM

Well, I was sorta curious so I checked....

Outback Steakhouse

FFX (pop. 1.1M) has 7 locations, one location for every 157K people.
Richmond (pop. 200K) has 2, that is 1 location for every 100K people.


Guess that example was wrong, too. Just like your first one.


So let's see, how about Applebee's....


Applebee's
FFX has 4 locations, or one for every 275K people.
Richmond has 5 locations- that is 1 Applebee's for every 40,000 people. 40K! You guys must love Applebees (and that's like the lamest one of any of those places!)


Hmmmm... something about your argument just isn't adding up. So let's check another....


Olive Garden
FFX, 3 locations, or one for every 366K people
Richmond, 2 locations, or one for every 100K people


Nope, you lose there too...


"Richmond: Your Home for Casual Dining Experiences at National Chain Restaurants"

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Gravis ()
Date: May 07, 2008 07:58PM

file.php?40,file=693
"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."095042938540

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: TECHNOVIKING ()
Date: May 08, 2008 04:59PM

Front Royal was also known as "Helltown" in the 18th century, due to the supposed readiness of its residents to fight at the slightest provocation. This was possibly due to the abundance of rough and wild mountaineers and river travelers in the area who came into town looking for alcohol and women.

Options: ReplyQuote
They are all the same
Posted by: Take a Stand ()
Date: May 08, 2008 05:47PM

Rubyfriapplgans.


Same horrible food, just different shit on the walls.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: SE ()
Date: May 09, 2008 01:35PM

Bonfire Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
Dana Dent used to work at a bank in PWC.
> She was pretty in a white trashy easy girl, dyed
> blond hair kind of way.

HAHAHA! Wow....I knew Dana and her brother Kevin. She was definitely WT, driving her firebird around Stafford, LOL!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Elitist Snob ()
Date: May 11, 2008 10:37AM

FairfaxFunky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You can call Front Royal people "rednecks' But at
> least Front Royal isnt soft serve vanilla and has
> some culture and the beauty of the blue ridge
> behind it.
-------------------------------------------------------
If by "culture" you mean roving groups of black teenage thugs and shirtless meth heads standing around on the sidwalk, then yeah, Front Royal has a ton of culture.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: 496 ()
Date: May 11, 2008 12:23PM

Southern culture on the skids

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: TheMeeper ()
Date: May 11, 2008 12:46PM

496 Wrote:
>> Southern culture on the skids


lol, that band sucked.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: FairfaxFunk ()
Date: May 11, 2008 01:32PM

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well, I was sorta curious so I checked....
>
> Outback Steakhouse
>
> FFX (pop. 1.1M) has 7 locations, one location for
> every 157K people.
> Richmond (pop. 200K) has 2, that is 1 location for
> every 100K people.
>
>
> Guess that example was wrong, too. Just like your
> first one.
>
>
> So let's see, how about Applebee's....
>
>
> Applebee's
> FFX has 4 locations, or one for every 275K
> people.
> Richmond has 5 locations- that is 1 Applebee's for
> every 40,000 people. 40K! You guys must love
> Applebees (and that's like the lamest one of any
> of those places!)
>
>
> Hmmmm... something about your argument just isn't
> adding up. So let's check another....
>
>
> Olive Garden
> FFX, 3 locations, or one for every 366K people
> Richmond, 2 locations, or one for every 100K
> people
>
>
> Nope, you lose there too...
>
>
> "Richmond: Your Home for Casual Dining Experiences
> at National Chain Restaurants"

Richmond is a city. Fairfax is a county. I dont think you need even a 5th grade education to understand that.

My point is, Fairfax really has no culture outside of strip malls and Barnes and Nobles.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: TheMeeper ()
Date: May 11, 2008 01:52PM

FairfaxFunk Wrote:
>>> Richmond is a city. Fairfax is a county. I dont think you need even a 5th grade education to understand that.

I never made any such statement, and that fact is irrelevant to what is being discussed. A feeble attempt at a straw man argument backed by an ad hominem. You lack all credibility.


>> My point is, Fairfax really has no culture outside of strip malls and Barnes and Nobles.

FFX county has 5 Barnes and Noble locations. That is one per every 220,000 people.

Richmond, on the other hand, has 4 B&N locations, or one for every 50,000.


You are extremely misguided.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: formerhick76 ()
Date: May 11, 2008 10:05PM

There's a few other families in that area where inbreeding has occurred.

From what my folks have told me, the Funks and these other families are descended from families kicked out of the mountains when they built Shenandoah National Park.

There is another Funk family in and around Strasburg (a few went to Warren County). They are not inbred though and are occasionally called the 'mutant Funks.'

I also suspect the Royal Oak Tavern is a bit too high-class for the Funks of which we speak. As for Front Royal culture, I left there before meth really started being an issue. Parts of eastern Warren, though, are pretty much like PWC in terms of demographics, etc.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: native. ()
Date: May 11, 2008 11:36PM

hey does imbreeding really builds stronger bones and muscle?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: FairfaxFunk ()
Date: May 12, 2008 02:32PM

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> FairfaxFunk Wrote:
> >>> Richmond is a city. Fairfax is a county. I
> dont think you need even a 5th grade education to
> understand that.
>
> I never made any such statement, and that fact is
> irrelevant to what is being discussed. A feeble
> attempt at a straw man argument backed by an ad
> hominem. You lack all credibility.
>
>
> >> My point is, Fairfax really has no culture
> outside of strip malls and Barnes and Nobles.
>
> FFX county has 5 Barnes and Noble locations. That
> is one per every 220,000 people.
>
> Richmond, on the other hand, has 4 B&N locations,
> or one for every 50,000.
>
>
> You are extremely misguided.

Yes, and again, Richmond is a city! Fairfax is just a county. Oh and a city too. But remember we live in a Commonwealth?


Also- my point is going to B and N and Starbucks would appeal more to people in Fairfax, than Richmond folk. Richmonders would rather go to an art gallery or a museum, followed by dinner at the Tobacco Company

Fairfax people like to hang out at the bookstore after watching the Redskins game on their "big screen" tv and driving around in their SUV on Old Ox Rd.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: TheMeeper ()
Date: May 12, 2008 02:50PM

If those types of places didn't appeal to Richmond folks, they wouldn't be building so many of them down there. There are way more chain restaraunts per capita in Richmond than in NoVa. And don't give me this city/county bullshit, it would be just as easy for me to calculate the ratios per square mile, which I think would show an even higher saturation of lackluster chain restaurants across Richmond.

The Tobacco Company... that goddamn tourist trap. Those amateurs think they can set up shop in an old warehouse and pawn it off as some kind of historical experience. Well some of us aren't fooled. No wonder they have so many Shoney's down your way.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: 496 ()
Date: May 12, 2008 03:28PM

native. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> hey does imbreeding really builds stronger bones
> and muscle?

You oughta know.....

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: formerhick76 ()
Date: May 13, 2008 03:46PM

Wait, someone from RICHMOND is trying to paint themselves as cultured?

For a proper comparison, we have to compare apples to apples: i.e. Henrico/Hanover/Chesterfield with Fairfax/Arlington/Alexandria/PWC/Loudoun. If we include Richmond and all its 'goodness,' we would have to include DC.

Bwahahahahahahah!!!!!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: thiskidwasbornalegend ()
Date: May 13, 2008 06:01PM

what the fuck
VANILLA?
WHAT THE fuck IS THAT, is THAT A REFERENCE to WHITE PEOPLE LOL
lol lol

LOL I"LL take A CUP OF CHOCOLATE< MINT AND VANILLA, ROFL NO SPRINKLES PL0X

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Richmondbrew ()
Date: May 13, 2008 06:22PM

formerhick76 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wait, someone from RICHMOND is trying to paint
> themselves as cultured?
>
> For a proper comparison, we have to compare apples
> to apples: i.e. Henrico/Hanover/Chesterfield with
> Fairfax/Arlington/Alexandria/PWC/Loudoun. If we
> include Richmond and all its 'goodness,' we would
> have to include DC.
>
> Bwahahahahahahah!!!!!


Richmond, by and large, is more cultured. The irony is the DC area is extremely provinical trying to be Cosmopolitan, while Richmonders simply have a natural sophistication they dont have to try as hard.

You try seeing what a DC person would do at the Historic Museums in Richmond or art galleries here. Theyd probably ask where they could watch the "Skins" on tv, or where the nearest brewery was.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: TheMeeper ()
Date: May 13, 2008 07:05PM

Richmondbrew Wrote:
>>> You try seeing what a DC person would do at the Historic Museums in Richmond or art galleries here. Theyd probably ask where they could watch the "Skins" on tv


LMAO, who the fuck is writing this stuff??

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Poppy ()
Date: May 13, 2008 08:26PM

Richmondbrew Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Richmond, by and large, is more cultured. The
> irony is the DC area is extremely provinical
> trying to be Cosmopolitan, while Richmonders
> simply have a natural sophistication they dont
> have to try as hard.
>
> You try seeing what a DC person would do at the
> Historic Museums in Richmond or art galleries
> here. Theyd probably ask where they could watch
> the "Skins" on tv, or where the nearest brewery
> was.
------------------------------------------------------

You're confusing the romance of heroin addiction with culture. Also, where in Richmond do people not like brews?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Genevieve ()
Date: May 13, 2008 11:17PM

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> LMAO, who the fuck is writing this stuff??


Meeper, stop trying to use logic with Meade. Logic only works with sane people.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: fuckers ()
Date: May 15, 2008 01:26PM

Is this the same Funk fuckers that fucking run fucking Funkhouser real esate down in the fucking Shenandoah valley of this fucked up country?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: ss ()
Date: November 14, 2008 05:26PM

can some one please tell me if the funks are real or not

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Get Funky ()
Date: November 14, 2008 05:32PM

ss Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> can some one please tell me if the funks are real
> or not


They are real. I read in the metro section that one mysteriously died a couple of months ago.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Royal-T ()
Date: December 23, 2008 09:26AM

The Funks are definitely real. Most of them suffer from a condition called cleidocranial dysostosis. You can look it up on-line, but the condition consists of being born with no collar bones, frontal skull bossing (pronounced forehead), extra teeth and short stature. Most of the people from this family are decent family-oriented people when not partaking alcohol. Most of the bad rep is from alcohol -related incidents.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: RESton Peace ()
Date: December 23, 2008 09:49AM

So you could say they are violent and funky....

good song

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Numbers ()
Date: December 23, 2008 10:24AM

> Richmondbrew Wrote:
> >>> You try seeing what a DC person would do at
> the Historic Museums in Richmond or art galleries
> here. Theyd probably ask where they could watch
> the "Skins" on tv
>


I have to confess, that's exactly what I'd be asking if I were in a museum in Richmond on a Sunday afternoon.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: ki55tacular ()
Date: December 26, 2008 08:50PM

I live in Front Royal, and I am pretty sure the story of the Funks is accurate..there was even a special done on them on the discovery channel or something like that. I have yet to see it, I just know it was done.

and as far as this town being filled with rednecks...it is. Face it. the majority of the population are a bunch of rednecks..some decent people, others are nasty, racist bastards that I cannot wait to get away from after I graduate.

There are alcoholic, intolerant jackasses, which tend to be nasty hickish hillbillies. They make this town intolerable, even though it is a pretty decent down to live in with that exception. Seeing as how I actually live here, I can post my observations without being attacked and taking it seriously, like some of the other people have.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Mrs. K ()
Date: December 27, 2008 05:26PM

It seems like the Funks take care of Front Royal, while the Shiffletts cover Charlottesville.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Neither Nor ()
Date: March 25, 2009 10:43PM

Hahaha reading these caustic comments has amused me to no end. Thank you so much.

Fairfax is a complete and utter shithole currently occupied by the Yuppie Ground Troop Clone Army and covered by a thin veneer of luxury that soon flakes off like a bad paint job. McMansions, gated apartment complexes, and big box shopping to satisfy the empty, soulless beings trapped in this limbo.

Front Royal is the east coast capital of retarded fuglies who couldn't make a proper right-turn to save the life of the drunken redneck slattern who conceived them.

Anyone engaged in the Battle of Fairfax vs. Front Royal, time out. You need to get out of VA and see the world a bit. And no, by "see the world" I don't mean retreat to your Outer Banks vacation spot where you can be surrounded by other Virginians doing the same damn thing that your are. And don't forget the sticker for your car so that everyone can see how well-traveled you are.

If the choices are between Front Royal, Fairfax, and Richmond, we're all doomed.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Curious in VA ()
Date: June 12, 2009 10:45PM

Ok.

I am totally curious about this family. I have seen them before but don't know them. But I am interested in seeing the special on Discovery Channel if anyone can give me any details on it. If they suffer from that genetic disorder is this the result of inbreeding?

Options: ReplyQuote
whahaha
Posted by: HOTBOOTAY ()
Date: October 19, 2009 12:02AM

they all came from england

Options: ReplyQuote
RE
Posted by: JO-ROUP ()
Date: October 19, 2009 12:09AM

CAN WE ALL GO TO THE FUNKIE TOWN one time a funk was gettin his as beat and why is it when the funk stood up and made a weird animal sound and the rest of them start popping out of man holes and bushes growling and slobbering like little babay wombats

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: TefD187 ()
Date: October 19, 2009 01:40AM

Richmondbrew Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You try seeing what a DC person would do at the
> Historic Museums in Richmond or art galleries
> here. Theyd probably ask where they could watch
> the "Skins" on tv, or where the nearest brewery
> was.


Your an idiot, hardly anyone here watches the skins anymore. Richmond blows. We have more culture. Alto plaza, window tinting, a road that is the same but has 18 different names, DZK, the list goes on and on. You guys lost the war, let it go bro, let it go.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Duh! ()
Date: October 19, 2009 01:50AM

TefD187 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Richmondbrew Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > You try seeing what a DC person would do at the
> > Historic Museums in Richmond or art galleries
> > here. Theyd probably ask where they could watch
> > the "Skins" on tv, or where the nearest brewery
> > was.
>
>
> Your an idiot, hardly anyone here watches the
> skins anymore. Richmond blows. We have more
> culture. Alto plaza, window tinting, a road that
> is the same but has 18 different names, DZK, the
> list goes on and on. You guys lost the war, let it
> go bro, let it go.




You are responding to a post written over a year ago.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: front royal sucks ()
Date: October 19, 2009 11:01AM

Duh! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> TefD187 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Richmondbrew Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > You try seeing what a DC person would do at
> the
> > > Historic Museums in Richmond or art galleries
> > > here. Theyd probably ask where they could
> watch
> > > the "Skins" on tv, or where the nearest
> brewery
> > > was.
> >
> >
> > Your an idiot, hardly anyone here watches the
> > skins anymore. Richmond blows. We have more
> > culture. Alto plaza, window tinting, a road
> that
> > is the same but has 18 different names, DZK,
> the
> > list goes on and on. You guys lost the war, let
> it
> > go bro, let it go.
>
>
>
>
> You are responding to a post written over a year
> ago.


That may be true but Front Royal is still and will continue to be the nastiest armpit in the state.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Date: October 19, 2009 11:13AM

front royal sucks Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
>
> That may be true but Front Royal is still and will
> continue to be the nastiest armpit in the state.


I like Front Royal. I'm not sure how Front Royal is "the nastiest armpit in the state" when you have places like Annandale and Bailey's Crossroads.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Registered Voter ()
Date: October 19, 2009 11:27AM

front royal sucks Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That may be true but Front Royal is still and will
> continue to be the nastiest armpit in the state.

You must not get around much. There are places near Newport News/Virginia Beach, Richmond and many other places that are worse by FAR.

If you can’t model the past, where you know the answer pretty well, how can you model the future? - William Happer Cyrus Fogg Brackett Professor of Physics Princeton University

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: if it fits.. ()
Date: October 19, 2009 05:01PM

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> front royal sucks Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
> >
> >
> > That may be true but Front Royal is still and
> will
> > continue to be the nastiest armpit in the
> state.
>
>
> I like Front Royal. I'm not sure how Front Royal
> is "the nastiest armpit in the state" when you
> have places like Annandale and Bailey's
> Crossroads.


Because the trash that lives there should know a little better, I have yet to go to a store or restaurant and see some sort of domestic situation with a child or female being either verbally or physically abused. Most of the town folk are either bullies or drunks or both

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Holly Fitzgerald ()
Date: January 27, 2010 10:37PM

the stories about the funks in warren county are legit. i live in fauquier, one of their boys from front royal went to school here at fauquier high. they dont have collar bones, and i saw him touch his shoulders together in the front. weird stuff. he was a real small muscular kid, and i think his family owned a tree trimming business.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Holly's right ()
Date: January 27, 2010 10:40PM

hollys right, a friend told me the same story. and front royal is not that bad, sure its sketch but come on nova has some pretty shady spots and then theres always newport news which is just dirty, but whatever lets not get into geographical rivalries here this is dumb and you all are acting like babies.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: January 28, 2010 10:55AM

Wow, that sounds totally legit. Thanks, Holly!

--------------------------------------------------------------
There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: ferfux ()
Date: January 28, 2010 02:10PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: nonamedfrontroyalperson ()
Date: February 05, 2010 02:08PM

Okay they are for sure real. They use to be my neighbor's. All I really remember is that the cops were always over there for something. I haven't seen any of them for a few years though. If you want to meet them they apparently go into game stop

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Yellow Rose Tickle Spider Zaire ()
Date: May 24, 2010 07:20PM

One of my best friends in high school in the 80s was a Funk from Front Royal and a fine person, and most of you should be ashamed for not looking in the mirror and engaging in some self criticism first!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: NOVA Man ()
Date: May 24, 2010 07:36PM

Richmondbrew Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Richmond, by and large, is more cultured. The
> irony is the DC area is extremely provinical
> trying to be Cosmopolitan, while Richmonders
> simply have a natural sophistication they dont
> have to try as hard.


Richmond, with all its apparent intellectual qualities, is nevertheless without any true culture, especially without a culture of its own. For the sham culture which Richmond possesses today is the property of others, and is mostly spoiled in their hands. When judging Richmond in its attitude towards the question of culture, one has to keep before one's eye as an essential characteristic that there never has been and consequently that today also there is no Richmond art; that above all the two queens of all arts, architecture and music, owe nothing original to Richmond. What it achieves in the field of art is either bowdlerization or intellectual theft.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: ThePackLeader ()
Date: May 24, 2010 07:41PM

Holly's right Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> hollys right, a friend told me the same story. and
> front royal is not that bad, sure its sketch but
> come on nova has some pretty shady spots and then
> theres always newport news which is just dirty,
> but whatever lets not get into geographical
> rivalries here this is dumb and you all are acting
> like babies.


Newport News has some rather nice areas. Shame on you for hating on the 757!



==================================================================================================
"And if any women or children get their legs torn off, or faces caved in, well, it's tough shit for them." -2LT. Bert Stiles, 505th, 339th (On Berlin Bombardier Mission, 1944).

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: D ()
Date: October 18, 2010 09:09AM

Ok I grew up next to a family of funks, there were a mom n a dad and like 6 kids. In front royal there is a whole bunch of funks but there not all related. N e who, the kids who are in there 20's some of them do have deformities as do there dad cuz its ok his side. If I'm not mistaken his name is donald funk and his parents were I thought brother and sister. But the inbreeding doe go back further than that because a few other family members have diformaties. And yea there was a special on the discovery channel, 1 of thr family members sold there
Story to make money. But the kids the ones my age in there 20,s have kids and all look normal and don't have anything wrong with thrm

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: like it is ()
Date: October 18, 2010 01:32PM

besides their OCD issues and criminal histories oh and the number of hemethrodites yeah just your average folks.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: ThePackLeader ()
Date: October 18, 2010 01:37PM

I present to you the head of the Funk clan:


==================================================================================================
"And if any women or children get their legs torn off, or faces caved in, well, it's tough shit for them." -2LT. Bert Stiles, 505th, 339th (On Berlin Bombardier Mission, 1944).

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: linden ()
Date: February 23, 2011 08:25AM

im from helltown and its true there crazy but front royal nice just the pepole in it are crazy

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Date: September 22, 2011 04:34AM

Get to Know this family and realize that we are actually, Royal, Loyalty, world wide, and I have the traits and of the first and the last. Not only as a Family but, also, this family culture and traditions.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: CHRIS79 ()
Date: October 02, 2011 03:52PM

THE STORIES U HEARED ARE TRUE. ALMOST EVERYONE IN THAT FAMILY HAVE VERY STRONG CHARICTERISTICS OF DOWN SYNDROME. THERE ARE JUST TO MANY OF THEM THAT LOOK THAT WAY,4 THE STORIES 2NOT B TRUE. I KNOW 10 OF THEM AND ONE OF THEM EVEN HAS SEVERLY BOWED LEGS ALONG WITH THE HUGE FOR HEAD AND UPTURNED NOSE. I ALSO HAD A FEW PPL SWEAR 2 ME THAT THEY HAVE READ A NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC WHERE IT STATED THAT THE FRONT ROYAL FUNKS ARE THE MOST SEVERLY AND CONTINOUSLY INBREAD FAMILIY IN THE USA OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES. JUST CHECK OUT THE LOCAL CARNIVALS IN FRONT ROYAL AND U WILL C ALOT OF THEM THERE. SOME OF THEM R CARNIES BUT MOST OF THEM R CUSTOMERS.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: 496 ()
Date: October 02, 2011 04:08PM

Admit it CHRIS79, you are a Funk.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: terry198 ()
Date: November 02, 2011 07:27PM

Chris is right. They are real. It's the biggest inbred family in the us. I guess no one would know if they aren't from this area but you can definitely recognize one when you see them. I even know where some live. So yeah its true!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: friskydingo ()
Date: November 02, 2011 07:50PM

Is there a Shane Funk? Cuz Shane is a major white trash name.

 

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: vbaileynative ()
Date: March 05, 2013 10:17PM

> That may be true but Front Royal is still and will
> continue to be the nastiest armpit in the state.


I like Front Royal. I'm not sure how Front Royal is "the nastiest armpit in the state" when you have places like Annandale and Bailey's Crossroads.


WHAT!? i've lived in both annandale AND FRONT royal- much longer in front royal:

two years high school in annandale but graduated from warren county high and here's what's up:

1) the funks are real. they do suffer from the genetic disorder previously mentioned and yes, as far as everyone in front royal knows, they are inbred.

2) annandale has its faults, sure... but to say it is worse than front royal? HOLY GEEZ....

3) and yes, i can say i've actually seen better than virginia has to offer (and worse) as i've travelled from coast to coast in our great nation as well as abroad in several european countries on several different occasions. holy cow. you guys are really trippin' over all this horse shit.

4) lastly, i've spent time in DC and Richmond and there's no doubt whatsoever DC is the greater city, overall. people are people everywhere and they all appreciate culture (or don't) and all have to eat and yes, we've all eaten at those shit holes. quit being so uppity. some things are just obvious. nations capitol (as a city) > richmond, (capital of virginia)

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: March 06, 2013 02:24PM

[}
Attachments:
Grand_Funk_Railroad_-_On_Time.jpg

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: C.f. ()
Date: June 25, 2013 12:10PM

Yea they are real, never met them but if you have seen the movie wrong turn, the first movie is based off the funks older relatives, when the killed and ate all those people. I know people that know them personally. Definitely an inbred family and has been that way for some generations now. They live in front royal

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Cod f ()
Date: June 25, 2013 12:14PM

Yea they are real, never met them but if you have seen the movie wrong turn, the first movie is based off the funks older relatives, when the killed and ate all those people. I know people that know them personally. Definitely an inbred family and has been that way for some generations now. They live in front royal

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Date: June 26, 2013 12:52AM

thank me later

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPUk3kzodjU
Attachments:
483294_10152696727885111_1935415318_n.jpg

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: U Suck ()
Date: June 26, 2013 12:55AM

Real Brett Davenport Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> thank me later
>
> https://www.thesuck


^ Don't bother. It sucks.

Thank me later.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: WingNut ()
Date: June 26, 2013 10:13AM

Interesting posts and topics, been around for years and somehow I missed this.

There are few other family names from western VA that get maligned like that Funks are, one starts with SH and the other T. I am curious if anyone else knows the ones I am talking about.

The weird disorder of being born without a collar bone is something I never officially heard of or suspected as being a sign of inbreeding. I heard a guy being described by another hillbilly as being "slackjawed and goat-shouldered". The guy being described was slack jawed and had shoulders that just dropped off like the pics of people with this disorder.

I thought it was just another funny thing to say, never knew it was an actual physical condition.

-----------------------------------
***Should we blame the con men at this point or do we need to address the roots and causes of a culture of suckers?***

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: FRANK FUNK ()
Date: July 23, 2013 10:59PM

What the FUNK is this BULL so what if i funked my cousin did my dog that dont make my family a circus side show...YOu come to Froro I wil lshow show....I hate when people put us down WE ARE ONE we keep it in the FAM!!! FUNK YOU

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: thatguy ()
Date: December 19, 2013 11:10AM

It is true. I lived there for years and was in the same grade as one of the kkids in the fam. When you see a Funk you'll know. There is some obvious physical attributes. I think the incest happened for generation after generation.... but not any longer.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: December 19, 2013 12:03PM

Take me to Funkytown.
Attachments:
Funky_town_cover.jpg

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: KNOW THEM ()
Date: March 17, 2014 08:58PM

YEP IT IS TRUE THET LIVE AT KOA CAMPGROUND OFF RT 340 THEY ARE NASTY

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Dave Littlefield ()
Date: June 05, 2014 05:47PM

I was in the Navy with Frank Funk. He was a cook. His brother was Ronnie. He had a sister named Mary Louise.she dated Darren Beamish. Their cousin was Chris Breeden. He was dating this girl who got pregnant by her daddy. Her sister got pregnant by her daddy too. She tried to say it was Chris' kid but blood test proved who the dad was. They still haven't told the kids who their dad is. Frites was the last name.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: 6jpTe ()
Date: June 05, 2014 06:58PM

The Hillbillies in the movie "Deliverence" were from Front Royal in spirit. Rent the Wild Wonderful Whites of West Virginia and you will get a taste of Front Royal. Typical NRA Tea Baggers all of em except the felony convictions prevent them from voting.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Henro ()
Date: June 06, 2014 10:49AM

the kids in FR go FUNK hunting.
They are real they live all around rt340.
I wish i had a picture the one attached is a snow ape and honest to god it looks just like on of the older FUNKS.
Attachments:
funk.jpg

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Henro ()
Date: June 06, 2014 10:51AM

This post introduced me to FFU years ago.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: optomus ()
Date: July 09, 2014 08:23PM

The funks r very very real I lived in front royal on shenandoah ave.. u know a funk wen u c one they r all short funny shaped heads n no neck if u c sumone who u might say that cud b a funk chances r they r a funk so dont ever think its a myth bc it is NOT

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Front Royal Funks
Posted by: Jay Mcmillan ()
Date: July 09, 2014 08:26PM

This is wat they look like forreal
Attachments:
IMG_10062430446896.jpeg

Options: ReplyQuote


Your Name: 
Your Email (Optional): 
Subject: 
Attach a file
  • No file can be larger than 75 MB
  • All files together cannot be larger than 300 MB
  • 30 more file(s) can be attached to this message
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
HyyPb
This forum powered by Phorum.