I was wasted, had some KFC honey bbq sandwiches from earlier. I tossed them with wrapper in the microwave and went to take a piss. About a minute later There are sparking noises, I go back in and there is a fire in the microwave. I tossed them out on the counter and into the sink batting the flames away, burnt wrappings and charred counter and stained microwave. The foodwrap was metallic, obviously. Glad I didn't burn the house down.

got arrested...wrecked a car...slept with randoms...sprained my wrist on a mechanical bull...attacked people...

I'm a stupid drunk. Hence why I don't drink much anymore.

Wow....was that all in one night???!?!

One of mine....so drunk, I could not figure out why key didn't work in car door. Me and pal dealt with it for like 15 minutes, til the actual owner showed up, screaming at us. My car was literally two slots away, and it was an empty parking lot at 3AM. Older n wiser now.

Shat meself at a blackjack table. Good greasy one, actually could see a bit of it streaming down my inner thigh.

Stayed at the table at least an hour after that. This was back in the day when smoking was allowed, the smoke from multiple cigars/cigs covered up the rancid crap smell.

Car full of drunks middlle of the night. We slammed into something, car rolled to a stop and wouldn't move. Got out to push it and it was extremely hard to move it. One of us figured out "hey man the tires on one side are flat". Took us a long time to roll it back mabye 30 yards into a gas station then walk a few miles home. We had hit a large section of curb that was a divider between a merge lane by an intersection.

.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/02/2012 12:52PM by Alias.

Well, it was even the same model car....they were both the same color; that counts for something!

.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/02/2012 12:52PM by Alias.

Alias Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> I don't even have that going for me.





How many times have you said that to Mr. Alias?

Blessed are the murderous.

I can't remember

 

Screwed a really fat girl at a house party, I could have denied it but co-worker/friend caught her coming out of my room. Next day all over at work, everyone laughing as I walked in.

.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/02/2012 12:51PM by Alias.

Alias Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Hey, eesh, there's a boy over at 4Lulz, named
> 40ozPitifulProphet. Why don't you head over there
> and banter with him? He and I got along
> swimmingly.
>
> Just know that he is a very important boy, a macho
> boy, so show respect. Post one time to his five,
> bow when he enters the room... oh, and call him,
> Guido.




He's over here too, but his self-destructive behavior will get the best of him, on both sites.

Alias Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> eesh Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Alias Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> >
> > >
> > > I don't even have that going for me.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > How many times have you said that to Mr. Alias?
>
>
> Hey, eesh, there's a boy over at 4Lulz, named
> 40ozPitifulProphet. Why don't you head over there
> and banter with him? He and I got along
> swimmingly.
>
> Just know that he is a very important boy, a macho
> boy, so show respect. Post one time to his five,
> bow when he enters the room... oh, and call him,
> Guido.


Alias wrote: For awhile, I quite enjoyed being a man. You should try it, at least once. I admit to talking to dolls and other inanimate objects, but I never fed my cousin, cocaine. He was the one feeding me...enabling me...

12ozProphet Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Alias wrote: For awhile, I quite enjoyed being a
> man. You should try it, at least once. I admit to
> talking to dolls and other inanimate objects, but
> I never fed my cousin, cocaine. He was the one
> feeding me...enabling me...


Alias = The Stanky Chicken

.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/02/2012 12:51PM by Alias.

.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/02/2012 12:50PM by Alias.

Alias Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 12ozProphet Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Alias Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > eesh Wrote:
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > > -----
> > > > Alias Wrote:
> > > >
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > >
> > > > -----
> > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > I don't even have that going for me.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > How many times have you said that to Mr.
> > Alias?
> > >
> > >
> > > Hey, eesh, there's a boy over at 4Lulz, named
> > > 40ozPitifulProphet. Why don't you head over
> > there
> > > and banter with him? He and I got along
> > > swimmingly.
> > >
> > > Just know that he is a very important boy, a
> > macho
> > > boy, so show respect. Post one time to his
> > five,
> > > bow when he enters the room... oh, and call
> > him,
> > > Guido.
> >
> >
> > Alias wrote: For awhile, I quite enjoyed being
> a
> > man. You should try it, at least once. I admit
> to
> > talking to dolls and other inanimate objects,
> but
> > I never fed my cousin, cocaine. He was the one
> > feeding me...enabling me...
>
>
> Be gone, Guido. Stay on 4lulz and be the BMOC; go
> find the love and respect you never got at home.


hey Alias, were you on here when they were saying about how inkahootz got real drunk one day at Bob Evans, so drunk that he stood up on the table shouting at people and then threw a big plate of home fries all over everybody.

food fight! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> hey Alias, were you on here when they were saying
> about how inkahootz got real drunk one day at Bob
> Evans, so drunk that he stood up on the table
> shouting at people and then threw a big plate of
> home fries all over everybody.






How do you get drunk at Bob Evans? That's like saying you got shitfaced at Cracker Barrel.

supposedly he showed up drunk off his ass lookin to fight people

remember it Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> supposedly he showed up drunk off his ass lookin
> to fight people




Where did his parents go wrong? He's the perfect argument for abortion.

Good topic John Martin. Setting your microwave on fire is pretty stupid. I wasn’t drunk or fucked up on anything when I set my basement on fire but the way I did it was so stupid I feel the story fits in this thread.

It was December of 2009 and I was over at my parents’ house for the night. I was in the basement watching TV, reading and just chilling surfing the internet at like 3:00AM. They have Christmas lights on the deck which was right outside the window of the basement but there was a curtain covering them which could not be drawn up. I really wanted to be able to see outside so I draped the curtain over a vertical halogen light that wasn’t on.

So around 3:00AM or so I got hungry and went upstairs to get some food. I turned the halogen light on because I needed some light as I was getting up to leave the room. Of course the curtain was still draped over the light but I just didn’t make the connection. 5 minutes later I hear the smoke detector go off and I look downstairs and the curtain has caught fire and the whole room is covered in thick black smoke. I run downstairs and try to put it out by hitting the curtain with my jeans over and over again which didn’t work. Then I tried ripping the curtain off the wall but only succeeded in ripping the curtain in half and both sided of it were on fire. By this point the ceiling panels were beginning to start smoking and my mom was upstairs screaming. I told her to find the fire extinguisher and ran up to grab it, came back downstairs and put the fire out. But I made a HUGE fucking mess. The fire department came and eventually my parents collected insurance money and remodeled the basement to look much nicer so it all worked out in the end.

after breaking up, okay getting dumped by a young lady( i guess take things more seriously in your yute) went out with the guys and got plastered on boone's farm wine
told i acted like a total shit and had the worst commode hugging episode of my life. never touched the stuff again
now what was her name yeah i sort of remember but have no idea what happened to her
oh boy facebook here i come

do they even make boone's farm anymore?