Off-Topic :
Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
ferfux
()
Date: June 21, 2011 11:28AM
Now onto Meade's meal plan! I try to eat everything in moderation. That means I have my cake and eat it too! But because I have a tendency to put on weight, I always have to limit sugar the most. Sugar is really bad for us, and makes us want to store fat. Total calorie consumption is only part of the equation. Make sure you limit sugars to less than 10% of your total diet. Luckily for me, instead of storing a big pot belly, I get a lot of "junk in the trunk". I also have stretch marks that would make most pregnant women weep. But I am able to maintain a relatively healthy weight- at just 35 lbs over what is considered obese!
1.The Two Limit Sweet Tea/Soft Drink Rule:
We all like to have cokes and sweet tea when we go out to eat at restaurants. Usually our waitress never hesitates to give us re-fills. Sadly, sweet tea and cokes contain a lot of calories. One 8 oz glass of sweet tea usually yields 90 calories, and 1 8 oz coke is about 100. The average size at restaurant glasses is 16 oz. So by time you wash down your third Dr Pepper, you've had a whopping 350 calories! Be sure and have a 2 drink limit when eating out. After they try to pour you another say "No thanks , I've gotta drive home tonight". That usually works for me. Try to stuff yourself with the bread and pile on the butter so you dont drink as much of the coke. That way you can fill yourself up.
2.Only have Cake three times a week
Have cake only three times a week. This is a much better alternative to having it every day. I usually buy one of the left over slices from my local grocery store and have it three times a week as a little post-work out treat. It really satisfies!
3.Drink Three big glasses of water before bed
Three big glasses of water before bed time makes you feel full so you wont have to raid the ice box for that "midnight snack". Of course some times, you may have to change your sheets the next morning...
4.No more than 1 cookie a day
A cookie a day keeps the Dr away, I always say. 1 cookie a day gives you the oral satisfaction you need from the cookie, without the guilt!
5.Remind Yourself How Poor You Are
When you remind yourself how little money you have (true or not), it helps you cut back on how much food you buy and keeps it in check. I call it the inflation plan. You remind yourself you can only eat what you can truly afford. Never buy food on credit.
6.Get at least 1 serving of fruits and vegetable daily
I always try to stick a cucumber in my mouth before supper or buy one of those Oriental pre-packaged stir fry meals (MSG FREE!). You can always munch on apples or carrots too. Lots of carrots give your skin that George Hamilton glow.
7.Think of disgusting, hideous images
The next time you wanna wolf down that candy bar, or eat that fried chicken, think of the most awful disgusting things you can- it surely will cut back your appetite. One time I got a craving for a Big Mac, so I just Googled "murder victim", and was completely mortified by the images that came up. That was enough to get my appetite in check and the next time I think about a juicy hamburger, I just think of a crime scene. Hunger passes.
8.Chew each bite 32 times
Chewing each bite 32 times really helps your stomach and brain to negotiate with each other that you're eating too much. It really works for me. It may drive everyone around you crazy, but it gives you the taste and the pleasure of the food in your mouth so you can savor it more. You'd be surprised how much more gratifying it can when you actually taste your chicken before you swallow.
9.Flush it Out!
Most people didn't realize that they have at least 25 lbs of fecal matter they carry with them on a daily basis. Simply by drinking tons of water and taking an ex lax or two, you can really cut back on the bloats. Metimucil shakes are becoming increasingly popular these days. Also avoid things that slow down your system- this includes most red meats and some dairy. I make a prune whip that does wonders for me.
10.Use Compression Shirts
When all else fails and you're still in the middle of trying to lose your "middle", you can buy compression shirts. They are usually figure flattering, and they really seem to help with loose skin as well.
Posted by Meade Skelton Haufe at 11:06 AM 0 comments
1.The Two Limit Sweet Tea/Soft Drink Rule:
We all like to have cokes and sweet tea when we go out to eat at restaurants. Usually our waitress never hesitates to give us re-fills. Sadly, sweet tea and cokes contain a lot of calories. One 8 oz glass of sweet tea usually yields 90 calories, and 1 8 oz coke is about 100. The average size at restaurant glasses is 16 oz. So by time you wash down your third Dr Pepper, you've had a whopping 350 calories! Be sure and have a 2 drink limit when eating out. After they try to pour you another say "No thanks , I've gotta drive home tonight". That usually works for me. Try to stuff yourself with the bread and pile on the butter so you dont drink as much of the coke. That way you can fill yourself up.
2.Only have Cake three times a week
Have cake only three times a week. This is a much better alternative to having it every day. I usually buy one of the left over slices from my local grocery store and have it three times a week as a little post-work out treat. It really satisfies!
3.Drink Three big glasses of water before bed
Three big glasses of water before bed time makes you feel full so you wont have to raid the ice box for that "midnight snack". Of course some times, you may have to change your sheets the next morning...
4.No more than 1 cookie a day
A cookie a day keeps the Dr away, I always say. 1 cookie a day gives you the oral satisfaction you need from the cookie, without the guilt!
5.Remind Yourself How Poor You Are
When you remind yourself how little money you have (true or not), it helps you cut back on how much food you buy and keeps it in check. I call it the inflation plan. You remind yourself you can only eat what you can truly afford. Never buy food on credit.
6.Get at least 1 serving of fruits and vegetable daily
I always try to stick a cucumber in my mouth before supper or buy one of those Oriental pre-packaged stir fry meals (MSG FREE!). You can always munch on apples or carrots too. Lots of carrots give your skin that George Hamilton glow.
7.Think of disgusting, hideous images
The next time you wanna wolf down that candy bar, or eat that fried chicken, think of the most awful disgusting things you can- it surely will cut back your appetite. One time I got a craving for a Big Mac, so I just Googled "murder victim", and was completely mortified by the images that came up. That was enough to get my appetite in check and the next time I think about a juicy hamburger, I just think of a crime scene. Hunger passes.
8.Chew each bite 32 times
Chewing each bite 32 times really helps your stomach and brain to negotiate with each other that you're eating too much. It really works for me. It may drive everyone around you crazy, but it gives you the taste and the pleasure of the food in your mouth so you can savor it more. You'd be surprised how much more gratifying it can when you actually taste your chicken before you swallow.
9.Flush it Out!
Most people didn't realize that they have at least 25 lbs of fecal matter they carry with them on a daily basis. Simply by drinking tons of water and taking an ex lax or two, you can really cut back on the bloats. Metimucil shakes are becoming increasingly popular these days. Also avoid things that slow down your system- this includes most red meats and some dairy. I make a prune whip that does wonders for me.
10.Use Compression Shirts
When all else fails and you're still in the middle of trying to lose your "middle", you can buy compression shirts. They are usually figure flattering, and they really seem to help with loose skin as well.
Posted by Meade Skelton Haufe at 11:06 AM 0 comments
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
ferfux
()
Date: June 21, 2011 11:31AM
Meade's Diet Tips !
Well summer is now upon us, and we all want to look good in our swimsuits. I got mine ready (its a two-piece!). Believe it or not, I too fight the battle of the bulge. And its not pretty when you're trying to squeeze into your church clothes that are two sizes too small. I felt like giving up and putting on a Moo-Moo. But seriously, folks, with a few tips from me, you can be on your way to shedding those pounds. I do recommend taking up exercise as well. I play tennis, go jogging, and I ride my 3 speed Ross all around the city of Richmond. I hate the jogging, though. My legs feel like jello afterwards. There's also the swimming, but that can be hard if you don't have the time. You must walk everyday, though. Walking is low impact , so people of any age or fitness level can do it. Also, it minimizes bounce and jiggle.
Well summer is now upon us, and we all want to look good in our swimsuits. I got mine ready (its a two-piece!). Believe it or not, I too fight the battle of the bulge. And its not pretty when you're trying to squeeze into your church clothes that are two sizes too small. I felt like giving up and putting on a Moo-Moo. But seriously, folks, with a few tips from me, you can be on your way to shedding those pounds. I do recommend taking up exercise as well. I play tennis, go jogging, and I ride my 3 speed Ross all around the city of Richmond. I hate the jogging, though. My legs feel like jello afterwards. There's also the swimming, but that can be hard if you don't have the time. You must walk everyday, though. Walking is low impact , so people of any age or fitness level can do it. Also, it minimizes bounce and jiggle.
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
MarieAnt
()
Date: June 21, 2011 11:43AM
OMG! My favorite Republican Meade Skelton diet tips! ROFL
Best part has to be limit yourself to two sodas at meals and... drum roll...
CAKE ONLY THREE TIMES A WEEK.
Best part has to be limit yourself to two sodas at meals and... drum roll...
CAKE ONLY THREE TIMES A WEEK.
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
4LulzCat
()
Date: June 21, 2011 11:48AM
10.Use Compression Shirts
When all else fails and you're still in the middle of trying to lose your "middle", you can buy compression shirts. They are usually figure flattering, and they really seem to help with loose skin as well.
Posted by Meade Skelton Haufe at 11:06 AM 0 comments
Step right up and get your Mead skelton tour mech COMPRESSION SHIRT!
When all else fails and you're still in the middle of trying to lose your "middle", you can buy compression shirts. They are usually figure flattering, and they really seem to help with loose skin as well.
Posted by Meade Skelton Haufe at 11:06 AM 0 comments
Step right up and get your Mead skelton tour mech COMPRESSION SHIRT!
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
ProVallone
()
Date: June 21, 2011 06:02PM
I propose a party for registered members, Meade Skeleton providing the music, and I'll bring some organic mescaline.
But that 15 year old girl can't come.
But that 15 year old girl can't come.
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
MC2
()
Date: June 21, 2011 08:10PM
Wait, was this an actual post in his blog or something?
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
eatless
()
Date: March 10, 2014 04:56PM
That is what I do!
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
Meade2017
()
Date: December 12, 2017 10:16PM
Cake diet -Results Backfat
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
FAT ALERT!
()
Date: December 17, 2017 04:19PM
Meade is approaching Critical Mass.
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
Your just jealous
()
Date: December 17, 2017 04:42PM
FAT ALERT! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Meade is approaching Critical Mass.
Meade is built like Steve Reeves.
I normally don't like country music but Meade is different.
He is the greatest keyboard singer/songwriter I have ever heard...
All of his music is popular.
Do you know how hard it is to post on the internet while wearing a straitjacket?
Attachments:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Meade is approaching Critical Mass.
Meade is built like Steve Reeves.
I normally don't like country music but Meade is different.
He is the greatest keyboard singer/songwriter I have ever heard...
All of his music is popular.
Do you know how hard it is to post on the internet while wearing a straitjacket?
Attachments:
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
these are good
()
Date: December 17, 2017 05:50PM
ferfux Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Now onto Meade's meal plan! I try to eat
> everything in moderation etc etc etc
Here's on emore for the forum trumptardz.
When sucking dick, do not swallow. Sperm is very high calorie.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Now onto Meade's meal plan! I try to eat
> everything in moderation etc etc etc
Here's on emore for the forum trumptardz.
When sucking dick, do not swallow. Sperm is very high calorie.
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
Reading burns calories
()
Date: December 17, 2017 11:58PM
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
Best Meade post ever
()
Date: February 02, 2019 08:58PM
Comedy Gold!!!!
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
Prune whip
()
Date: February 03, 2019 12:43AM
Since he has gotten fatter in the past 8-1/2 years it is safe to assume Meade has stayed on this shitty diet...
Now that we know about his enema fetish...Diet tip #9 takes on a whole different meaning!
9.Flush it Out!
Most people didn't realize that they have at least 25 lbs of fecal matter they carry with them on a daily basis. Simply by drinking tons of water and taking an ex lax or two, you can really cut back on the bloats. Metimucil shakes are becoming increasingly popular these days. Also avoid things that slow down your system- this includes most red meats and some dairy. I make a prune whip that does wonders for me.
Now that we know about his enema fetish...Diet tip #9 takes on a whole different meaning!
9.Flush it Out!
Most people didn't realize that they have at least 25 lbs of fecal matter they carry with them on a daily basis. Simply by drinking tons of water and taking an ex lax or two, you can really cut back on the bloats. Metimucil shakes are becoming increasingly popular these days. Also avoid things that slow down your system- this includes most red meats and some dairy. I make a prune whip that does wonders for me.
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
Too easy...cucumber in mouth
()
Date: February 03, 2019 02:20AM
6.Get at least 1 serving of fruits and vegetable daily
I always try to stick a cucumber in my mouth before supper or buy one of those Oriental pre-packaged stir fry meals (MSG FREE!). You can always munch on apples or carrots too. Lots of carrots give your skin that George Hamilton glow.
Attachments:
I always try to stick a cucumber in my mouth before supper or buy one of those Oriental pre-packaged stir fry meals (MSG FREE!). You can always munch on apples or carrots too. Lots of carrots give your skin that George Hamilton glow.
Attachments:
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
Hiding IT
()
Date: February 03, 2019 12:22PM
Prune whip Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Since he has gotten fatter in the past 8-1/2 years
> it is safe to assume Meade has stayed on this
> shitty diet...
>
> Now that we know about his enema fetish...Diet tip
> #9 takes on a whole different meaning!
>
> 9.Flush it Out!
> Most people didn't realize that they have at least
> 25 lbs of fecal matter they carry with them on a
> daily basis. Simply by drinking tons of water and
> taking an ex lax or two, you can really cut back
> on the bloats. Metimucil shakes are becoming
> increasingly popular these days. Also avoid things
> that slow down your system- this includes most red
> meats and some dairy. I make a prune whip that
> does wonders for me.
Meade has put on muscle and he is bulking up for his next movie role in which he will play the Legendary Steve Reeves. He has to wear a fat suit to hide his progress.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Since he has gotten fatter in the past 8-1/2 years
> it is safe to assume Meade has stayed on this
> shitty diet...
>
> Now that we know about his enema fetish...Diet tip
> #9 takes on a whole different meaning!
>
> 9.Flush it Out!
> Most people didn't realize that they have at least
> 25 lbs of fecal matter they carry with them on a
> daily basis. Simply by drinking tons of water and
> taking an ex lax or two, you can really cut back
> on the bloats. Metimucil shakes are becoming
> increasingly popular these days. Also avoid things
> that slow down your system- this includes most red
> meats and some dairy. I make a prune whip that
> does wonders for me.
Meade has put on muscle and he is bulking up for his next movie role in which he will play the Legendary Steve Reeves. He has to wear a fat suit to hide his progress.
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
Meade ruins everything
()
Date: February 04, 2019 10:03PM
Meade forgets the most important part of telling people how to diet.
You have got to have actually lost a noticeable amount of weight or they are not going to listen to you.
The same is true about his recent 'advice to young musicians' blog.
Meade's career as a musician has been a total failure.
What he says is irrelevant.
You have got to have actually lost a noticeable amount of weight or they are not going to listen to you.
The same is true about his recent 'advice to young musicians' blog.
Meade's career as a musician has been a total failure.
What he says is irrelevant.
Re: meade skelton diet tips
Posted by:
Meade ruins everything
()
Date: February 04, 2019 10:04PM