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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Mr. Misery
()
Date: March 04, 2011 04:25PM
this is the census for FFXU. Everyone must answer.
1. What is the best thing?
2. What is the worst thing?
3. How is your dad?
4. Do you know what the term 'rule of thumb' refers to?
5. Who is your best character in Street Fighter II?
6. Which Muppet would you trust the least around your children, and why?
7. Did you watch The Snorks as a kid?
8. What kind of music does your dad enjoy?
9. Have you ever broken something and then had to buy it?
10. Is it okay to lick the nozzle on a water fountain?
11. Are you experienced?
12. Can you tell the difference between Chinese and Japanese people?
13. Did you ever have a baby?
14. What did you do with the baby?
15. Where is the baby right now?
16. Do dogs smile?
17. When is it okay to hit your mother?
18. What about elephants?
19. Do you sit or stand?
20. Pants or no pants?
21. Have you ever shopped in a Lidz store?
22. Can you tell when your dog isn't paying attention?
23. Which US president would you want on your team?
24. Have you ever said "he's right behind me, isn't he?"?
25. Where is it?
26. What is your dad like?
27. How many pills do you take in a day?
28. What if there were no chairs?
29. How important are pillows to you?
30. Do you think it would bother you a lot, a little, or not at all if there were no pillows?
31. What kind of TV do you have?
32. What do you eat?
33. If you could turn invisible, what is the first thing you would do?
34. I know the first thing I'd do.
35. How many fingers am I holding up?
36. What's love got to do with it?
37. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
38. How many white people are there?
39. Do you ever think about the children?
40. How many babies would it take?
41. Can you think of seven non-human things that speak?
42. What is your favorite flavor?
43. Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly donut, and then fill it with chocolate-swirl ice cream?
44. What would you do?
45. If there was an asteroid headed towards earth, would you go out shooting and raping people? Why not?
46. Will there ever be a rainbow?
47. If you love pizza so much, why don't you marry it?
48. Don't touch the dog.
49. Wolverine or Iron Man?
50. Batman or Superman?
51. Doctor Doom or Magneto?
52. Colossus or Nightcrawler?
53. How many hats do you own?
54. Do you sweat a lot?
55. What is your mother's name?
56. How many words do you know?
57. Ranch or Blue Cheese?
58. As a child, did you ever take a bite out of your cookie and pretend it was a ray gun?
59. What is your dad doing right now?
60. I want to meet that dad.
thank you
Attachments:
1. What is the best thing?
2. What is the worst thing?
3. How is your dad?
4. Do you know what the term 'rule of thumb' refers to?
5. Who is your best character in Street Fighter II?
6. Which Muppet would you trust the least around your children, and why?
7. Did you watch The Snorks as a kid?
8. What kind of music does your dad enjoy?
9. Have you ever broken something and then had to buy it?
10. Is it okay to lick the nozzle on a water fountain?
11. Are you experienced?
12. Can you tell the difference between Chinese and Japanese people?
13. Did you ever have a baby?
14. What did you do with the baby?
15. Where is the baby right now?
16. Do dogs smile?
17. When is it okay to hit your mother?
18. What about elephants?
19. Do you sit or stand?
20. Pants or no pants?
21. Have you ever shopped in a Lidz store?
22. Can you tell when your dog isn't paying attention?
23. Which US president would you want on your team?
24. Have you ever said "he's right behind me, isn't he?"?
25. Where is it?
26. What is your dad like?
27. How many pills do you take in a day?
28. What if there were no chairs?
29. How important are pillows to you?
30. Do you think it would bother you a lot, a little, or not at all if there were no pillows?
31. What kind of TV do you have?
32. What do you eat?
33. If you could turn invisible, what is the first thing you would do?
34. I know the first thing I'd do.
35. How many fingers am I holding up?
36. What's love got to do with it?
37. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
38. How many white people are there?
39. Do you ever think about the children?
40. How many babies would it take?
41. Can you think of seven non-human things that speak?
42. What is your favorite flavor?
43. Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly donut, and then fill it with chocolate-swirl ice cream?
44. What would you do?
45. If there was an asteroid headed towards earth, would you go out shooting and raping people? Why not?
46. Will there ever be a rainbow?
47. If you love pizza so much, why don't you marry it?
48. Don't touch the dog.
49. Wolverine or Iron Man?
50. Batman or Superman?
51. Doctor Doom or Magneto?
52. Colossus or Nightcrawler?
53. How many hats do you own?
54. Do you sweat a lot?
55. What is your mother's name?
56. How many words do you know?
57. Ranch or Blue Cheese?
58. As a child, did you ever take a bite out of your cookie and pretend it was a ray gun?
59. What is your dad doing right now?
60. I want to meet that dad.
thank you
Attachments:
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Shadow
()
Date: March 04, 2011 04:48PM
You seem to have a fixation on my dad.
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Warhawk
()
Date: March 04, 2011 05:12PM
When I have some spare time - like tomorrow when I cover for my co-worker, I'll answer these.
__________________________________
That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.
__________________________________
That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
DirtyDrawers
()
Date: March 04, 2011 05:21PM
Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> this is the census for FFXU. Everyone must answer.
>
>
> 1. What is the best thing? love
>
> 2. What is the worst thing? harry tuttle
>
> 3. How is your dad? deceased
>
> 4. Do you know what the term 'rule of thumb'
> refers to? a general guideline but not a firm rule
>
> 5. Who is your best character in Street Fighter
> II? whut?
>
> 6. Which Muppet would you trust the least around
> your children, and why? statler & waldorf - seem kind of ghey
>
> 7. Did you watch The Snorks as a kid? ya, sure did
>
> 8. What kind of music does your dad enjoy? he is deceased
>
> 9. Have you ever broken something and then had to
> buy it? yessum
>
> 10. Is it okay to lick the nozzle on a water
> fountain? no
>
> 11. Are you experienced? yessum
>
> 12. Can you tell the difference between Chinese
> and Japanese people? totally
>
> 13. Did you ever have a baby? no, i have no womb for the fetus to gestate
>
> 14. What did you do with the baby? NA
>
> 15. Where is the baby right now? NA
>
> 16. Do dogs smile? yes
>
> 17. When is it okay to hit your mother? never
>
> 18. What about elephants? never
>
> 19. Do you sit or stand? both
>
> 20. Pants or no pants? depends on the sitch
>
> 21. Have you ever shopped in a Lidz store? huh?
>
> 22. Can you tell when your dog isn't paying
> attention? yes
>
> 23. Which US president would you want on your
> team? lincoln
>
> 24. Have you ever said "he's right behind me,
> isn't he?"? no
>
> 25. Where is it? everywhere
>
> 26. What is your dad like? deceased
>
> 27. How many pills do you take in a day? 0
>
> 28. What if there were no chairs? tired legs
>
> 29. How important are pillows to you? very
>
> 30. Do you think it would bother you a lot, a
> little, or not at all if there were no pillows? alot
>
> 31. What kind of TV do you have? color
>
> 32. What do you eat? food
>
> 33. If you could turn invisible, what is the first
> thing you would do? urinate, to see if the stream would be visible in a mirror
>
> 34. I know the first thing I'd do. cool beans
>
> 35. How many fingers am I holding up? all of them
>
> 36. What's love got to do with it? ask ike
>
> 37. Would you rather be blind or deaf? deaf
>
> 38. How many white people are there? plenty
>
> 39. Do you ever think about the children? they are our future
>
> 40. How many babies would it take? several
>
> 41. Can you think of seven non-human things that
> speak? no
>
> 42. What is your favorite flavor? grape
>
> 43. Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly
> donut, and then fill it with chocolate-swirl ice
> cream? maybe
>
> 44. What would you do? sleep
>
> 45. If there was an asteroid headed towards earth,
> would you go out shooting and raping people? Why
> not? no, not my style.
>
> 46. Will there ever be a rainbow? yes, a double one
>
> 47. If you love pizza so much, why don't you marry
> it? messy in bed
>
> 48. Don't touch the dog. okay
>
> 49. Wolverine or Iron Man? wolverine
>
> 50. Batman or Superman? superman
>
> 51. Doctor Doom or Magneto? doctor doom
>
> 52. Colossus or Nightcrawler? nightcrawler
>
> 53. How many hats do you own? 4
>
> 54. Do you sweat a lot? no
>
> 55. What is your mother's name? ******
>
> 56. How many words do you know? enough
>
> 57. Ranch or Blue Cheese? blue cheese
>
> 58. As a child, did you ever take a bite out of
> your cookie and pretend it was a ray gun? still do
>
> 59. What is your dad doing right now? deceased
>
> 60. I want to meet that dad. cremated
>
> thank you
-------------------------------------------------------
> this is the census for FFXU. Everyone must answer.
>
>
> 1. What is the best thing? love
>
> 2. What is the worst thing? harry tuttle
>
> 3. How is your dad? deceased
>
> 4. Do you know what the term 'rule of thumb'
> refers to? a general guideline but not a firm rule
>
> 5. Who is your best character in Street Fighter
> II? whut?
>
> 6. Which Muppet would you trust the least around
> your children, and why? statler & waldorf - seem kind of ghey
>
> 7. Did you watch The Snorks as a kid? ya, sure did
>
> 8. What kind of music does your dad enjoy? he is deceased
>
> 9. Have you ever broken something and then had to
> buy it? yessum
>
> 10. Is it okay to lick the nozzle on a water
> fountain? no
>
> 11. Are you experienced? yessum
>
> 12. Can you tell the difference between Chinese
> and Japanese people? totally
>
> 13. Did you ever have a baby? no, i have no womb for the fetus to gestate
>
> 14. What did you do with the baby? NA
>
> 15. Where is the baby right now? NA
>
> 16. Do dogs smile? yes
>
> 17. When is it okay to hit your mother? never
>
> 18. What about elephants? never
>
> 19. Do you sit or stand? both
>
> 20. Pants or no pants? depends on the sitch
>
> 21. Have you ever shopped in a Lidz store? huh?
>
> 22. Can you tell when your dog isn't paying
> attention? yes
>
> 23. Which US president would you want on your
> team? lincoln
>
> 24. Have you ever said "he's right behind me,
> isn't he?"? no
>
> 25. Where is it? everywhere
>
> 26. What is your dad like? deceased
>
> 27. How many pills do you take in a day? 0
>
> 28. What if there were no chairs? tired legs
>
> 29. How important are pillows to you? very
>
> 30. Do you think it would bother you a lot, a
> little, or not at all if there were no pillows? alot
>
> 31. What kind of TV do you have? color
>
> 32. What do you eat? food
>
> 33. If you could turn invisible, what is the first
> thing you would do? urinate, to see if the stream would be visible in a mirror
>
> 34. I know the first thing I'd do. cool beans
>
> 35. How many fingers am I holding up? all of them
>
> 36. What's love got to do with it? ask ike
>
> 37. Would you rather be blind or deaf? deaf
>
> 38. How many white people are there? plenty
>
> 39. Do you ever think about the children? they are our future
>
> 40. How many babies would it take? several
>
> 41. Can you think of seven non-human things that
> speak? no
>
> 42. What is your favorite flavor? grape
>
> 43. Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly
> donut, and then fill it with chocolate-swirl ice
> cream? maybe
>
> 44. What would you do? sleep
>
> 45. If there was an asteroid headed towards earth,
> would you go out shooting and raping people? Why
> not? no, not my style.
>
> 46. Will there ever be a rainbow? yes, a double one
>
> 47. If you love pizza so much, why don't you marry
> it? messy in bed
>
> 48. Don't touch the dog. okay
>
> 49. Wolverine or Iron Man? wolverine
>
> 50. Batman or Superman? superman
>
> 51. Doctor Doom or Magneto? doctor doom
>
> 52. Colossus or Nightcrawler? nightcrawler
>
> 53. How many hats do you own? 4
>
> 54. Do you sweat a lot? no
>
> 55. What is your mother's name? ******
>
> 56. How many words do you know? enough
>
> 57. Ranch or Blue Cheese? blue cheese
>
> 58. As a child, did you ever take a bite out of
> your cookie and pretend it was a ray gun? still do
>
> 59. What is your dad doing right now? deceased
>
> 60. I want to meet that dad. cremated
>
> thank you
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
6X
()
Date: March 04, 2011 05:29PM
That's way too many ? For the record. My Dad has been dead for 35yrs.
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
High school senior
()
Date: March 04, 2011 05:37PM
Question 45 is interesting. I think if an
asteroid was shooting towards earth and we knew we were doomed, it would create a brotherhood, a utopia of benevolence where man would recognize and accept man in a brotherly embrace of love. There would be no further need for monetary gains, everthing would be free, sure there would be a deluted few who would be under the notion that they will take it with them and continue with business as usual, but they would be enlightened quickly. Women would give of themselves freely in one big sexual cosmos. It would certainly be the final equalizer, rich,poor, black, white all in the same boat. Shooting and killing ? What's the point? To shoot and kill would be an act of kindness, it would be quick and sudden, not a slow agonizing death beneath a shroud of gas and atmosph. poisons that a asteroid would produce. That's what I think anywheres.
asteroid was shooting towards earth and we knew we were doomed, it would create a brotherhood, a utopia of benevolence where man would recognize and accept man in a brotherly embrace of love. There would be no further need for monetary gains, everthing would be free, sure there would be a deluted few who would be under the notion that they will take it with them and continue with business as usual, but they would be enlightened quickly. Women would give of themselves freely in one big sexual cosmos. It would certainly be the final equalizer, rich,poor, black, white all in the same boat. Shooting and killing ? What's the point? To shoot and kill would be an act of kindness, it would be quick and sudden, not a slow agonizing death beneath a shroud of gas and atmosph. poisons that a asteroid would produce. That's what I think anywheres.
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Harry Tuttle
()
Date: March 04, 2011 06:46PM
Oh yeah, I LOVE the surveys... Lovin' it, shovin' it...
Fasten your seatbuckles, y'all.
Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> this is the census for FFXU. Everyone must answer.
>
>
> 1. What is the best thing?
lucid dreams
>
> 2. What is the worst thing?
The reality that our physical bodies are holding us back and are becoming obsolete rather quickly...
I can't survive without killing! Think about it!
>
> 3. How is your dad?
A mess... a hopeless mess..
>
> 4. Do you know what the term 'rule of thumb'
> refers to?
Yes... it's what what's his face wrote...
>
> 5. Who is your best character in Street Fighter
> II?
I always liked Chun Li... and hated fighting Vega...
>
> 6. Which Muppet would you trust the least around
> your children, and why?
Toss up between Miss Piggy, the discusting whore, and animal, the loose cannon...
The results of the flip: Miss Piggy... Talk about sociopath...
>
> 7. Did you watch The Snorks as a kid?
No, but I've watched them...
>
> 8. What kind of music does your dad enjoy?
John Prine, Patsy Cline... James Taylor...
>
> 9. Have you ever broken something and then had to
> buy it?
Not ever...
>
> 10. Is it okay to lick the nozzle on a water
> fountain?
Yes, under certain circumstances... Lemme no if you'd like me to explain..
>
> 11. Are you experienced?
Bet your bottom dollar...
>
> 12. Can you tell the difference between Chinese
> and Japanese people?
When they talk...
>
> 13. Did you ever have a baby?
Define "have"...
I'll mark this down as a contingent "yes"
>
> 14. What did you do with the baby?
I loved it...?
>
> 15. Where is the baby right now?
Outta sight outta mind?
>
> 16. Do dogs smile?
Not constantly. But then again, a lot of non-persons smile...
>
> 17. When is it okay to hit your mother?
On Thanksgiving, but only open-palm...
>
> 18. What about elephants?
It's never ok to hit them... Do they really like peanuts?
>
> 19. Do you sit or stand?
I'm not going to assume that you are asking about how I pee... You're trying to make me assume things...
Either way, I do both...
>
> 20. Pants or no pants?
Pants, buddy!
>
> 21. Have you ever shopped in a Lidz store?
No. I don't wear hats... and I don't buy gifts for deutschbags...
>
> 22. Can you tell when your dog isn't paying
> attention?
I can completely read my dog's mind... so... yeah, I can..
>
> 23. Which US president would you want on your
> team?
Abe Lincoln can dunk, bra...
>
> 24. Have you ever said "he's right behind me,
> isn't he?"?
Yes... only as a gag, though...
>
> 25. Where is it?
Where whoever touched it last put it...
Usually, it's in the refrigerador, next to the drank..
>
> 26. What is your dad like?
A festering, yeast-plagued, hatchet wound..
>
> 27. How many pills do you take in a day?
I don't take pills... ever...
I think I took a 'Quil 3 years ago...
>
> 28. What if there were no chairs?
If there was still a need for sitting, I'd sit on tables or rocks.. or people... but those tables and rocks would then become chairs... So we're back to square one..
To completely eliminate chairs, you'd need to eliminate the need to sit down...
>
> 29. How important are pillows to you?
Extremely... It's hard to find a good one...
>
> 30. Do you think it would bother you a lot, a
> little, or not at all if there were no pillows?
I hate to do the trite, "define pillow" jive.... but seriously... Think about what you're asking...
All a pillow is is a comfortable thing to rest your head, or some other part of your body on... Even if what you call a pillow vanished off the face of the earth for whatever reason, there would always be something that people would use for that purpose...
The only way there wouldn't be any "pillows" is if there was no need for pillows... Soo, the lack of pillows would not bother me...
>
> 31. What kind of TV do you have?
It's ok... LCD... Haven't moved up to the LED yet...
>
> 32. What do you eat?
I eat all the time...
>
> 33. If you could turn invisible, what is the first
> thing you would do?
Probably go mess with people... next, I'd spy on people...
>
> 34. I know the first thing I'd do.
Heavens!
>
> 35. How many fingers am I holding up?
The same amount I'm holding up.
>
> 36. What's love got to do with it?
Pretty much everything...
>
> 37. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
blind.. any day... Gottta have that music, buddy...
>
> 38. How many white people are there?
Too many...
>
> 39. Do you ever think about the children?
Probably once a day.
>
> 40. How many babies would it take?
What do you mean, "would"? It's happening, man... OPEN YOUR EYES!
>
> 41. Can you think of seven non-human things that
> speak?
Yes.
>
> 42. What is your favorite flavor?
The pink kind...
>
> 43. Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly
> donut, and then fill it with chocolate-swirl ice
> cream?
No, have you ever microwaved a peanutbutter cup?
>
> 44. What would you do?
What I always do...
>
> 45. If there was an asteroid headed towards earth,
> would you go out shooting and raping people? Why
> not?
Shooting, maybe... Raping, nawww...
I would probably die trying to come up with a way to survive... Like digging a big hole or something...
>
> 46. Will there ever be a rainbow?
Yes...
>
> 47. If you love pizza so much, why don't you marry
> it?
Pizza is too good for me... Pizza's parents don't approve... Pizza has one too many children... Pizza's allergic to my dog...
>
> 48. Don't touch the dog.
Exactly!
>
> 49. Wolverine or Iron Man?
I'm just going to assume you're asking for my preference...
Wolverine, bra...
>
> 50. Batman or Superman?
Superman...
>
> 51. Doctor Doom or Magneto?
Dr. DOOOM!
>
> 52. Colossus or Nightcrawler?
Nightcrawler..
>
> 53. How many hats do you own?
I don't wear hats, bu-bud-budddyy... So... zero...
>
> 54. Do you sweat a lot?
Yes, I hate it...
>
> 55. What is your mother's name?
It's what the people in her life say so that she knows they are talking to her. It's what they write on cards and letters so she knows those things are for her eyes...
>
> 56. How many words do you know?
Not enough...
>
> 57. Ranch or Blue Cheese?
Come on... If you're asking which one I prefer... that depends on the dish... and how I'm feeling... and the brand of each of these "condiments"...
I'm going to change the question to "If you could only have one for the rest of your life..."
The answer would be Ranch...
>
> 58. As a child, did you ever take a bite out of
> your cookie and pretend it was a ray gun?
Ha! Maybe not a ray gun... but definitely a gun... I pretended lots of things were guns... and other things...
>
> 59. What is your dad doing right now?
Don't know...
>
> 60. I want to meet that dad.
Hey, seriously... One of my real life "buddies" told me his dad wants to stay in touch with me... My buddy's dad told him to give me his email address so we can stay in touch and be like pen pals...
This feels awkward to me... I don't even keep in touch with real family members... I don't know if I can commit to being pen pals with the dad... and I certainly don't want to offend...
What should I do about that Miz? Maybe I'll ask Dr. Teri-
>
> thank you
My pleasure...
Too many "yes or no" questions, buddddaayy...
Overall...
Nice quizlet...
Signatures are for fags
Fasten your seatbuckles, y'all.
Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> this is the census for FFXU. Everyone must answer.
>
>
> 1. What is the best thing?
lucid dreams
>
> 2. What is the worst thing?
The reality that our physical bodies are holding us back and are becoming obsolete rather quickly...
I can't survive without killing! Think about it!
>
> 3. How is your dad?
A mess... a hopeless mess..
>
> 4. Do you know what the term 'rule of thumb'
> refers to?
Yes... it's what what's his face wrote...
>
> 5. Who is your best character in Street Fighter
> II?
I always liked Chun Li... and hated fighting Vega...
>
> 6. Which Muppet would you trust the least around
> your children, and why?
Toss up between Miss Piggy, the discusting whore, and animal, the loose cannon...
The results of the flip: Miss Piggy... Talk about sociopath...
>
> 7. Did you watch The Snorks as a kid?
No, but I've watched them...
>
> 8. What kind of music does your dad enjoy?
John Prine, Patsy Cline... James Taylor...
>
> 9. Have you ever broken something and then had to
> buy it?
Not ever...
>
> 10. Is it okay to lick the nozzle on a water
> fountain?
Yes, under certain circumstances... Lemme no if you'd like me to explain..
>
> 11. Are you experienced?
Bet your bottom dollar...
>
> 12. Can you tell the difference between Chinese
> and Japanese people?
When they talk...
>
> 13. Did you ever have a baby?
Define "have"...
I'll mark this down as a contingent "yes"
>
> 14. What did you do with the baby?
I loved it...?
>
> 15. Where is the baby right now?
Outta sight outta mind?
>
> 16. Do dogs smile?
Not constantly. But then again, a lot of non-persons smile...
>
> 17. When is it okay to hit your mother?
On Thanksgiving, but only open-palm...
>
> 18. What about elephants?
It's never ok to hit them... Do they really like peanuts?
>
> 19. Do you sit or stand?
I'm not going to assume that you are asking about how I pee... You're trying to make me assume things...
Either way, I do both...
>
> 20. Pants or no pants?
Pants, buddy!
>
> 21. Have you ever shopped in a Lidz store?
No. I don't wear hats... and I don't buy gifts for deutschbags...
>
> 22. Can you tell when your dog isn't paying
> attention?
I can completely read my dog's mind... so... yeah, I can..
>
> 23. Which US president would you want on your
> team?
Abe Lincoln can dunk, bra...
>
> 24. Have you ever said "he's right behind me,
> isn't he?"?
Yes... only as a gag, though...
>
> 25. Where is it?
Where whoever touched it last put it...
Usually, it's in the refrigerador, next to the drank..
>
> 26. What is your dad like?
A festering, yeast-plagued, hatchet wound..
>
> 27. How many pills do you take in a day?
I don't take pills... ever...
I think I took a 'Quil 3 years ago...
>
> 28. What if there were no chairs?
If there was still a need for sitting, I'd sit on tables or rocks.. or people... but those tables and rocks would then become chairs... So we're back to square one..
To completely eliminate chairs, you'd need to eliminate the need to sit down...
>
> 29. How important are pillows to you?
Extremely... It's hard to find a good one...
>
> 30. Do you think it would bother you a lot, a
> little, or not at all if there were no pillows?
I hate to do the trite, "define pillow" jive.... but seriously... Think about what you're asking...
All a pillow is is a comfortable thing to rest your head, or some other part of your body on... Even if what you call a pillow vanished off the face of the earth for whatever reason, there would always be something that people would use for that purpose...
The only way there wouldn't be any "pillows" is if there was no need for pillows... Soo, the lack of pillows would not bother me...
>
> 31. What kind of TV do you have?
It's ok... LCD... Haven't moved up to the LED yet...
>
> 32. What do you eat?
I eat all the time...
>
> 33. If you could turn invisible, what is the first
> thing you would do?
Probably go mess with people... next, I'd spy on people...
>
> 34. I know the first thing I'd do.
Heavens!
>
> 35. How many fingers am I holding up?
The same amount I'm holding up.
>
> 36. What's love got to do with it?
Pretty much everything...
>
> 37. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
blind.. any day... Gottta have that music, buddy...
>
> 38. How many white people are there?
Too many...
>
> 39. Do you ever think about the children?
Probably once a day.
>
> 40. How many babies would it take?
What do you mean, "would"? It's happening, man... OPEN YOUR EYES!
>
> 41. Can you think of seven non-human things that
> speak?
Yes.
>
> 42. What is your favorite flavor?
The pink kind...
>
> 43. Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly
> donut, and then fill it with chocolate-swirl ice
> cream?
No, have you ever microwaved a peanutbutter cup?
>
> 44. What would you do?
What I always do...
>
> 45. If there was an asteroid headed towards earth,
> would you go out shooting and raping people? Why
> not?
Shooting, maybe... Raping, nawww...
I would probably die trying to come up with a way to survive... Like digging a big hole or something...
>
> 46. Will there ever be a rainbow?
Yes...
>
> 47. If you love pizza so much, why don't you marry
> it?
Pizza is too good for me... Pizza's parents don't approve... Pizza has one too many children... Pizza's allergic to my dog...
>
> 48. Don't touch the dog.
Exactly!
>
> 49. Wolverine or Iron Man?
I'm just going to assume you're asking for my preference...
Wolverine, bra...
>
> 50. Batman or Superman?
Superman...
>
> 51. Doctor Doom or Magneto?
Dr. DOOOM!
>
> 52. Colossus or Nightcrawler?
Nightcrawler..
>
> 53. How many hats do you own?
I don't wear hats, bu-bud-budddyy... So... zero...
>
> 54. Do you sweat a lot?
Yes, I hate it...
>
> 55. What is your mother's name?
It's what the people in her life say so that she knows they are talking to her. It's what they write on cards and letters so she knows those things are for her eyes...
>
> 56. How many words do you know?
Not enough...
>
> 57. Ranch or Blue Cheese?
Come on... If you're asking which one I prefer... that depends on the dish... and how I'm feeling... and the brand of each of these "condiments"...
I'm going to change the question to "If you could only have one for the rest of your life..."
The answer would be Ranch...
>
> 58. As a child, did you ever take a bite out of
> your cookie and pretend it was a ray gun?
Ha! Maybe not a ray gun... but definitely a gun... I pretended lots of things were guns... and other things...
>
> 59. What is your dad doing right now?
Don't know...
>
> 60. I want to meet that dad.
Hey, seriously... One of my real life "buddies" told me his dad wants to stay in touch with me... My buddy's dad told him to give me his email address so we can stay in touch and be like pen pals...
This feels awkward to me... I don't even keep in touch with real family members... I don't know if I can commit to being pen pals with the dad... and I certainly don't want to offend...
What should I do about that Miz? Maybe I'll ask Dr. Teri-
>
> thank you
My pleasure...
Too many "yes or no" questions, buddddaayy...
Overall...
Nice quizlet...
Signatures are for fags
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
bloody blisters
()
Date: March 04, 2011 07:11PM
Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> this is the census for FFXU. Everyone must answer.
>
>
> 1. What is the best thing?
knowing that tomorrow will be exactly the same as today
> 2. What is the worst thing?
locking your keys in your car/losing your wallet
> 3. How is your dad?
s'good
> 4. Do you know what the term 'rule of thumb'
> refers to?
yes
> 5. Who is your best character in Street Fighter
> II?
ryu
>
> 6. Which Muppet would you trust the least around
> your children, and why?
cookie monster, any grown man that likes cookies to that extent has got to be a creepzilla
> 7. Did you watch The Snorks as a kid?
beetles
> 8. What kind of music does your dad enjoy?
bluegrass, i think hes gay
> 9. Have you ever broken something and then had to
> buy it?
yes
> 10. Is it okay to lick the nozzle on a water
> fountain?
i would advise that you refrain from doing so
> 11. Are you experienced?
mos def yo
> 12. Can you tell the difference between Chinese
> and Japanese people?
easily
> 13. Did you ever have a baby?
to my knowledge
> 14. What did you do with the baby?
ya know, fed it and stuff
> 15. Where is the baby right now?
napping, soooo cute
> 16. Do dogs smile?
mine did, right before he bit the dust
> 17. When is it okay to hit your mother?
more like, when isnt it okay
> 18. What about elephants?
they give me the E B G B's
> 19. Do you sit or stand?
currently sitting but i stand as well
> 20. Pants or no pants?
at the moment, pants less
> 21. Have you ever shopped in a Lidz store?
god i hope not
> 22. Can you tell when your dog isn't paying
> attention?
yeah its pretty easy to tell
> 23. Which US president would you want on your
> team?
dumb question
> 24. Have you ever said "he's right behind me,
> isn't he?"?
yes
> 25. Where is it?
right behind me
> 26. What is your dad like?
cool dude, checks emails and stuff
> 27. How many pills do you take in a day?
11 and sometimes they take me
> 28. What if there were no chairs?
floors are good
> 29. How important are pillows to you?
a luxurious item but not a necessity
> 30. Do you think it would bother you a lot, a
> little, or not at all if there were no pillows?
moderate bother
> 31. What kind of TV do you have?
37" LCD
> 32. What do you eat?
i likes fish, steaks, seafoo, potatoes, soups, azzip, occasional salad
> 33. If you could turn invisible, what is the first
> thing you would do?
spook people
> 34. I know the first thing I'd do.
great question
> 35. How many fingers am I holding up?
4
> 36. What's love got to do with it?
gimme stake ums
> 37. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
deaf, im tired of peoples bullshit
> 38. How many white people are there?
google says 376
> 39. Do you ever think about the children?
not allowed to mention
> 40. How many babies would it take?
tons
> 41. Can you think of seven non-human things that
> speak?
no, 2... parrots and computers
> 42. What is your favorite flavor?
green
> 43. Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly
> donut, and then fill it with chocolate-swirl ice
> cream?
shut up ya fat fuck
> 44. What would you do?
i would make a boat, sail 20 yards, sink it, then yell abandon ship
> 45. If there was an asteroid headed towards earth,
> would you go out shooting and raping people? Why
> not?
i might dabble in a little rape
> 46. Will there ever be a rainbow?
yes
> 47. If you love pizza so much, why don't you marry
> it?
its illegal in all 52 states
> 48. Don't touch the dog.
dont have to tell me twice
> 49. Wolverine or Iron Man?
iron man
> 50. Batman or Superman?
both are gay
> 51. Doctor Doom or Magneto?
magneato, i like metal
> 52. Colossus or Nightcrawler?
what?
> 53. How many hats do you own?
6, used to be around 20
> 54. Do you sweat a lot?
only in the summer
> 55. What is your mother's name?
grapefruit
> 56. How many words do you know?
enough to not be able to answer this question
> 57. Ranch or Blue Cheese?
ranch nigga
> 58. As a child, did you ever take a bite out of
> your cookie and pretend it was a ray gun?
ray gun? no, lazer maybe
> 59. What is your dad doing right now?
checkin emails, yknow usual dad things
> 60. I want to meet that dad.
i'll introduce the two of yous over a nice dinner
> thank you
no, thank you.
-------------------------------------------------------
> this is the census for FFXU. Everyone must answer.
>
>
> 1. What is the best thing?
knowing that tomorrow will be exactly the same as today
> 2. What is the worst thing?
locking your keys in your car/losing your wallet
> 3. How is your dad?
s'good
> 4. Do you know what the term 'rule of thumb'
> refers to?
yes
> 5. Who is your best character in Street Fighter
> II?
ryu
>
> 6. Which Muppet would you trust the least around
> your children, and why?
cookie monster, any grown man that likes cookies to that extent has got to be a creepzilla
> 7. Did you watch The Snorks as a kid?
beetles
> 8. What kind of music does your dad enjoy?
bluegrass, i think hes gay
> 9. Have you ever broken something and then had to
> buy it?
yes
> 10. Is it okay to lick the nozzle on a water
> fountain?
i would advise that you refrain from doing so
> 11. Are you experienced?
mos def yo
> 12. Can you tell the difference between Chinese
> and Japanese people?
easily
> 13. Did you ever have a baby?
to my knowledge
> 14. What did you do with the baby?
ya know, fed it and stuff
> 15. Where is the baby right now?
napping, soooo cute
> 16. Do dogs smile?
mine did, right before he bit the dust
> 17. When is it okay to hit your mother?
more like, when isnt it okay
> 18. What about elephants?
they give me the E B G B's
> 19. Do you sit or stand?
currently sitting but i stand as well
> 20. Pants or no pants?
at the moment, pants less
> 21. Have you ever shopped in a Lidz store?
god i hope not
> 22. Can you tell when your dog isn't paying
> attention?
yeah its pretty easy to tell
> 23. Which US president would you want on your
> team?
dumb question
> 24. Have you ever said "he's right behind me,
> isn't he?"?
yes
> 25. Where is it?
right behind me
> 26. What is your dad like?
cool dude, checks emails and stuff
> 27. How many pills do you take in a day?
11 and sometimes they take me
> 28. What if there were no chairs?
floors are good
> 29. How important are pillows to you?
a luxurious item but not a necessity
> 30. Do you think it would bother you a lot, a
> little, or not at all if there were no pillows?
moderate bother
> 31. What kind of TV do you have?
37" LCD
> 32. What do you eat?
i likes fish, steaks, seafoo, potatoes, soups, azzip, occasional salad
> 33. If you could turn invisible, what is the first
> thing you would do?
spook people
> 34. I know the first thing I'd do.
great question
> 35. How many fingers am I holding up?
4
> 36. What's love got to do with it?
gimme stake ums
> 37. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
deaf, im tired of peoples bullshit
> 38. How many white people are there?
google says 376
> 39. Do you ever think about the children?
not allowed to mention
> 40. How many babies would it take?
tons
> 41. Can you think of seven non-human things that
> speak?
no, 2... parrots and computers
> 42. What is your favorite flavor?
green
> 43. Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly
> donut, and then fill it with chocolate-swirl ice
> cream?
shut up ya fat fuck
> 44. What would you do?
i would make a boat, sail 20 yards, sink it, then yell abandon ship
> 45. If there was an asteroid headed towards earth,
> would you go out shooting and raping people? Why
> not?
i might dabble in a little rape
> 46. Will there ever be a rainbow?
yes
> 47. If you love pizza so much, why don't you marry
> it?
its illegal in all 52 states
> 48. Don't touch the dog.
dont have to tell me twice
> 49. Wolverine or Iron Man?
iron man
> 50. Batman or Superman?
both are gay
> 51. Doctor Doom or Magneto?
magneato, i like metal
> 52. Colossus or Nightcrawler?
what?
> 53. How many hats do you own?
6, used to be around 20
> 54. Do you sweat a lot?
only in the summer
> 55. What is your mother's name?
grapefruit
> 56. How many words do you know?
enough to not be able to answer this question
> 57. Ranch or Blue Cheese?
ranch nigga
> 58. As a child, did you ever take a bite out of
> your cookie and pretend it was a ray gun?
ray gun? no, lazer maybe
> 59. What is your dad doing right now?
checkin emails, yknow usual dad things
> 60. I want to meet that dad.
i'll introduce the two of yous over a nice dinner
> thank you
no, thank you.
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
the grammar police
()
Date: March 04, 2011 07:25PM
1. What is the best thing? when you get the large pop-corn at the movies and get free refills
2. What is the worst thing? when the dumb bitch at the counter won't give you the pop corn and they mess with you because you're high
3. How is your dad? fine, thanks for asking
4. Do you know what the term 'rule of thumb' refers to? indeed i do
5. Who is your best character in Street Fighter II? chun li.. obvi
6. Which Muppet would you trust the least around your children, and why? mrs. piggy seems like a whore
7. Did you watch The Snorks as a kid? nope
8. What kind of music does your dad enjoy? trippy stoner music
9. Have you ever broken something and then had to buy it? NEVER
10. Is it okay to lick the nozzle on a water fountain? always
11. Are you experienced? very
12. Can you tell the difference between Chinese and Japanese people? japanese people are from japan
13. Did you ever have a baby? not for long
14. What did you do with the baby? i'm not legally obligated to talk about that.
15. Where is the baby right now? ^^
16. Do dogs smile? duh
17. When is it okay to hit your mother? only when she's a cunt
18. What about elephants? elephants are special
19. Do you sit or stand? in between
20. Pants or no pants? no pants
21. Have you ever shopped in a Lidz store? nope
22. Can you tell when your dog isn't paying attention? yes
23. Which US president would you want on your team? millard branford
24. Have you ever said "he's right behind me, isn't he?"? no
25. Where is it? i'm sitting on it
26. What is your dad like? old
27. How many pills do you take in a day? two
28. What if there were no chairs? we'd all be fucked
29. How important are pillows to you? very
30. Do you think it would bother you a lot, a little, or not at all if there were no pillows? a lot
31. What kind of TV do you have? the kind with channels
32. What do you eat? spaghetti
33. If you could turn invisible, what is the first thing you would do? walk around naked.. wouldn't everyone?
34. I know the first thing I'd do. i bet you do ;)
35. How many fingers am I holding up? 11
36. What's love got to do with it? nothing
37. Would you rather be blind or deaf? deaf
38. How many white people are there? lots
39. Do you ever think about the children? never
40. How many babies would it take? 13 1/3
41. Can you think of seven non-human things that speak? parrots
42. What is your favorite flavor? orange
43. Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly donut, and then fill it with chocolate-swirl ice cream? no
44. What would you do? a lot of things
45. If there was an asteroid headed towards earth, would you go out shooting and raping people? Why not? of course i would
46. Will there ever be a rainbow? not ever again.
47. If you love pizza so much, why don't you marry it? oh i will, just wait.
48. Don't touch the dog. k
49. Wolverine or Iron Man? iron wolf
50. Batman or Superman? batman
51. Doctor Doom or Magneto? magneto
52. Colossus or Nightcrawler? nighcrawler
53. How many hats do you own? 3
54. Do you sweat a lot? nope
55. What is your mother's name? anne
56. How many words do you know? 19
57. Ranch or Blue Cheese? ranch
58. As a child, did you ever take a bite out of your cookie and pretend it was a ray gun? once or twice.
59. What is your dad doing right now? duno
60. I want to meet that dad. me too.
2. What is the worst thing? when the dumb bitch at the counter won't give you the pop corn and they mess with you because you're high
3. How is your dad? fine, thanks for asking
4. Do you know what the term 'rule of thumb' refers to? indeed i do
5. Who is your best character in Street Fighter II? chun li.. obvi
6. Which Muppet would you trust the least around your children, and why? mrs. piggy seems like a whore
7. Did you watch The Snorks as a kid? nope
8. What kind of music does your dad enjoy? trippy stoner music
9. Have you ever broken something and then had to buy it? NEVER
10. Is it okay to lick the nozzle on a water fountain? always
11. Are you experienced? very
12. Can you tell the difference between Chinese and Japanese people? japanese people are from japan
13. Did you ever have a baby? not for long
14. What did you do with the baby? i'm not legally obligated to talk about that.
15. Where is the baby right now? ^^
16. Do dogs smile? duh
17. When is it okay to hit your mother? only when she's a cunt
18. What about elephants? elephants are special
19. Do you sit or stand? in between
20. Pants or no pants? no pants
21. Have you ever shopped in a Lidz store? nope
22. Can you tell when your dog isn't paying attention? yes
23. Which US president would you want on your team? millard branford
24. Have you ever said "he's right behind me, isn't he?"? no
25. Where is it? i'm sitting on it
26. What is your dad like? old
27. How many pills do you take in a day? two
28. What if there were no chairs? we'd all be fucked
29. How important are pillows to you? very
30. Do you think it would bother you a lot, a little, or not at all if there were no pillows? a lot
31. What kind of TV do you have? the kind with channels
32. What do you eat? spaghetti
33. If you could turn invisible, what is the first thing you would do? walk around naked.. wouldn't everyone?
34. I know the first thing I'd do. i bet you do ;)
35. How many fingers am I holding up? 11
36. What's love got to do with it? nothing
37. Would you rather be blind or deaf? deaf
38. How many white people are there? lots
39. Do you ever think about the children? never
40. How many babies would it take? 13 1/3
41. Can you think of seven non-human things that speak? parrots
42. What is your favorite flavor? orange
43. Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly donut, and then fill it with chocolate-swirl ice cream? no
44. What would you do? a lot of things
45. If there was an asteroid headed towards earth, would you go out shooting and raping people? Why not? of course i would
46. Will there ever be a rainbow? not ever again.
47. If you love pizza so much, why don't you marry it? oh i will, just wait.
48. Don't touch the dog. k
49. Wolverine or Iron Man? iron wolf
50. Batman or Superman? batman
51. Doctor Doom or Magneto? magneto
52. Colossus or Nightcrawler? nighcrawler
53. How many hats do you own? 3
54. Do you sweat a lot? nope
55. What is your mother's name? anne
56. How many words do you know? 19
57. Ranch or Blue Cheese? ranch
58. As a child, did you ever take a bite out of your cookie and pretend it was a ray gun? once or twice.
59. What is your dad doing right now? duno
60. I want to meet that dad. me too.
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
the grammar police
()
Date: March 04, 2011 07:28PM
where's yours miz?
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Mr. Misery
()
Date: March 04, 2011 07:37PM
harryo is right...too many yes or no questions. I'd like to expand upon the questionnaire.
61. What would you do if you were walking through the park and saw an old man sitting alone on a bench, crying? What if it was an old woman? What if it was a young man? A young woman? Would you try to comfort him/her, or pretend that you didn't see them?
62. If you could boink any female cartoon character, who would it be? What if you could boink any male cartoon character? Who then?
63. There's a 90 year-old man getting beaten up by a gang of street toughs. At the same time, there's a basket of puppies drowning in a lake. There's only time to save one. What do you do? What DO you do??
64. The Nazis have your parents.
65. If you had a baby, but the baby came out like the baby from "It's Alive" and started killing people, would you be able to shoot and kill it?
66. If you had to perform oral on a man in order to save a bus full of children from falling off a cliff, could you do it?
67. Would you kill Superman? Why or why not?
68. How many children could you take in a fight?
69. How many retarded children?
70. Would you chop off a small piece of your johnson in exchange for 500 million dollars? Just a small piece. You won't even miss it.
71. There are five urinals in the men's room. Which urinal do you go to if all five are unoccupied?
72. What if the middle one is occupied?
73. What if the middle and the one on the far left are both occupied?
74. Where do you stand in an elevator if there are two other people already in it?
75. What if someone gets on the elevator and stands right next to you? What do you do?
76. What if someone gets on the elevator but remains facing you instead of turning towards the doors? What do you do then?
77. Who would you kill if you knew without a doubt you could get away with it? You have to kill someone.
78. Would you rather eat nothing but taco shells for the rest of your life, or only have a sexual release (of any kind) once a year?
79. Would you agree to live within a five mile radius of your current residence for the rest of your life, in exchange for a billion dollars? Remember, if you set foot outside of the five mile radius, you will instantly be vaporized. You can never go further than five miles of where you live, for any reason. Do you take the money?
80. Would you get on a spaceship and travel the cosmos if you knew you could never return home? What if you could travel back in time, but never return to the present?
61. What would you do if you were walking through the park and saw an old man sitting alone on a bench, crying? What if it was an old woman? What if it was a young man? A young woman? Would you try to comfort him/her, or pretend that you didn't see them?
62. If you could boink any female cartoon character, who would it be? What if you could boink any male cartoon character? Who then?
63. There's a 90 year-old man getting beaten up by a gang of street toughs. At the same time, there's a basket of puppies drowning in a lake. There's only time to save one. What do you do? What DO you do??
64. The Nazis have your parents.
65. If you had a baby, but the baby came out like the baby from "It's Alive" and started killing people, would you be able to shoot and kill it?
66. If you had to perform oral on a man in order to save a bus full of children from falling off a cliff, could you do it?
67. Would you kill Superman? Why or why not?
68. How many children could you take in a fight?
69. How many retarded children?
70. Would you chop off a small piece of your johnson in exchange for 500 million dollars? Just a small piece. You won't even miss it.
71. There are five urinals in the men's room. Which urinal do you go to if all five are unoccupied?
72. What if the middle one is occupied?
73. What if the middle and the one on the far left are both occupied?
74. Where do you stand in an elevator if there are two other people already in it?
75. What if someone gets on the elevator and stands right next to you? What do you do?
76. What if someone gets on the elevator but remains facing you instead of turning towards the doors? What do you do then?
77. Who would you kill if you knew without a doubt you could get away with it? You have to kill someone.
78. Would you rather eat nothing but taco shells for the rest of your life, or only have a sexual release (of any kind) once a year?
79. Would you agree to live within a five mile radius of your current residence for the rest of your life, in exchange for a billion dollars? Remember, if you set foot outside of the five mile radius, you will instantly be vaporized. You can never go further than five miles of where you live, for any reason. Do you take the money?
80. Would you get on a spaceship and travel the cosmos if you knew you could never return home? What if you could travel back in time, but never return to the present?
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Genevieve
()
Date: March 04, 2011 08:01PM
I don't think this qualifies as a census... but I'll try to make it through all 60 questions. Also, this feels like a netflix commercial.
1. What is the best thing? Sleeping in on a snowy day, then "sleeping" some more.
2. What is the worst thing? Photograph by Nickelback
3. How is your dad? fine, thank you
4. Do you know what the term 'rule of thumb' refers to? not really
5. Who is your best character in Street Fighter II? unknown
6. Which Muppet would you trust the least around your children, and why? Snuffleupagus. Because.
7. Did you watch The Snorks as a kid? No.
8. What kind of music does your dad enjoy? Jazz, Classic Rock, New Age, Polka. Yes, Polka.
9. Have you ever broken something and then had to buy it? No.
10. Is it okay to lick the nozzle on a water fountain? No.
11. Are you experienced? In what?
12. Can you tell the difference between Chinese and Japanese people? Sometimes.
13. Did you ever have a baby? No.
14. What did you do with the baby? N/A
15. Where is the baby right now? N/A
16. Do dogs smile? I don't know. Not a big fan of dogs.
17. When is it okay to hit your mother? When she is twice your size and hit you first.
18. What about elephants? I like the idea of elephants, but they are pretty smelly.
19. Do you sit or stand? I sit and stand, but not at the same time.
20. Pants or no pants? Sometimes pants, sometimes no pants.
21. Have you ever shopped in a Lidz store? Once.
22. Can you tell when your dog isn't paying attention? I don't have a dog.
23. Which US president would you want on your team? Thomas Jefferson
24. Have you ever said "he's right behind me, isn't he?"? No
25. Where is it? In the sock drawer.
26. What is your dad like? Like a... 3 legged polar bear.
27. How many pills do you take in a day? 4, but 3 of them are Vitamin D.
28. What if there were no chairs? I'd sit on the floor. Except when laying on the floor. Or on grass.
29. How important are pillows to you? Somewhat important.
30. Do you think it would bother you a lot, a little, or not at all if there were no pillows? A little.
31. What kind of TV do you have? I don't have a TV.
32. What do you eat? Tonight, burritos. Lately, a lot of stir-fried tofu and steamed rice. Sunday is steak night. Currently craving a trip to Victoria's Gastro Pub for duck fat poutine.
33. If you could turn invisible, what is the first thing you would do? Offer my services to a secretive government agency.
34. I know the first thing I'd do. Does it involve nude females?
35. How many fingers am I holding up? none.
36. What's love got to do with it? I'm still trying to figure that one out.
37. Would you rather be blind or deaf? deaf.
38. How many white people are there? What genetic markers are required to make someone white?
39. Do you ever think about the children? Only when they get in my way.
40. How many babies would it take? 2.
41. Can you think of seven non-human things that speak? Do 7 species of parrot count?
42. What is your favorite flavor? Burnt sugar and custard. Though banana and cream... close second.
43. Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly donut, and then fill it with chocolate-swirl ice cream? No, never.
44. What would you do? I would go to guarapo and order a strawberry hookah, chifles, and a coquito (or 2). Then I'd head to eventide and have a sazerac. Then, I'd ask to be driven to DC and walk around the mall until turned into a human popsicle. Last, I'd go to Bob and Edith's for pancakes.
45. If there was an asteroid headed towards earth, would you go out shooting and raping people? Why not? No. I'm not strong enough to rape anyone worth raping. Also, I don't have a gun. Or bullets. Or experience using a gun or bullets.
46. Will there ever be a rainbow? Yes.
47. If you love pizza so much, why don't you marry it? I like pizza, but love is such a strong term. Also, I can't legally marry anyone right now.
48. Don't touch the dog. Get your goddamn dog away from me.
49. Wolverine or Iron Man? Iron Man
50. Batman or Superman? Batman.
51. Doctor Doom or Magneto? Magneto.
52. Colossus or Nightcrawler? Nightcrawler. It's apparently not even a question.
53. How many hats do you own? half a dozen?
54. Do you sweat a lot? No.
55. What is your mother's name? Kennedy.
56. How many words do you know? 10% more than the average american.
57. Ranch or Blue Cheese? Blue cheese... but just the cheese, not dressing.
58. As a child, did you ever take a bite out of your cookie and pretend it was a ray gun? No.
59. What is your dad doing right now? Probably watching TV. I'd guess sci-fi. Oh wait, he goes grocery shopping on Friday nights.
60. I want to meet that dad. Good luck with that.
1. What is the best thing? Sleeping in on a snowy day, then "sleeping" some more.
2. What is the worst thing? Photograph by Nickelback
3. How is your dad? fine, thank you
4. Do you know what the term 'rule of thumb' refers to? not really
5. Who is your best character in Street Fighter II? unknown
6. Which Muppet would you trust the least around your children, and why? Snuffleupagus. Because.
7. Did you watch The Snorks as a kid? No.
8. What kind of music does your dad enjoy? Jazz, Classic Rock, New Age, Polka. Yes, Polka.
9. Have you ever broken something and then had to buy it? No.
10. Is it okay to lick the nozzle on a water fountain? No.
11. Are you experienced? In what?
12. Can you tell the difference between Chinese and Japanese people? Sometimes.
13. Did you ever have a baby? No.
14. What did you do with the baby? N/A
15. Where is the baby right now? N/A
16. Do dogs smile? I don't know. Not a big fan of dogs.
17. When is it okay to hit your mother? When she is twice your size and hit you first.
18. What about elephants? I like the idea of elephants, but they are pretty smelly.
19. Do you sit or stand? I sit and stand, but not at the same time.
20. Pants or no pants? Sometimes pants, sometimes no pants.
21. Have you ever shopped in a Lidz store? Once.
22. Can you tell when your dog isn't paying attention? I don't have a dog.
23. Which US president would you want on your team? Thomas Jefferson
24. Have you ever said "he's right behind me, isn't he?"? No
25. Where is it? In the sock drawer.
26. What is your dad like? Like a... 3 legged polar bear.
27. How many pills do you take in a day? 4, but 3 of them are Vitamin D.
28. What if there were no chairs? I'd sit on the floor. Except when laying on the floor. Or on grass.
29. How important are pillows to you? Somewhat important.
30. Do you think it would bother you a lot, a little, or not at all if there were no pillows? A little.
31. What kind of TV do you have? I don't have a TV.
32. What do you eat? Tonight, burritos. Lately, a lot of stir-fried tofu and steamed rice. Sunday is steak night. Currently craving a trip to Victoria's Gastro Pub for duck fat poutine.
33. If you could turn invisible, what is the first thing you would do? Offer my services to a secretive government agency.
34. I know the first thing I'd do. Does it involve nude females?
35. How many fingers am I holding up? none.
36. What's love got to do with it? I'm still trying to figure that one out.
37. Would you rather be blind or deaf? deaf.
38. How many white people are there? What genetic markers are required to make someone white?
39. Do you ever think about the children? Only when they get in my way.
40. How many babies would it take? 2.
41. Can you think of seven non-human things that speak? Do 7 species of parrot count?
42. What is your favorite flavor? Burnt sugar and custard. Though banana and cream... close second.
43. Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly donut, and then fill it with chocolate-swirl ice cream? No, never.
44. What would you do? I would go to guarapo and order a strawberry hookah, chifles, and a coquito (or 2). Then I'd head to eventide and have a sazerac. Then, I'd ask to be driven to DC and walk around the mall until turned into a human popsicle. Last, I'd go to Bob and Edith's for pancakes.
45. If there was an asteroid headed towards earth, would you go out shooting and raping people? Why not? No. I'm not strong enough to rape anyone worth raping. Also, I don't have a gun. Or bullets. Or experience using a gun or bullets.
46. Will there ever be a rainbow? Yes.
47. If you love pizza so much, why don't you marry it? I like pizza, but love is such a strong term. Also, I can't legally marry anyone right now.
48. Don't touch the dog. Get your goddamn dog away from me.
49. Wolverine or Iron Man? Iron Man
50. Batman or Superman? Batman.
51. Doctor Doom or Magneto? Magneto.
52. Colossus or Nightcrawler? Nightcrawler. It's apparently not even a question.
53. How many hats do you own? half a dozen?
54. Do you sweat a lot? No.
55. What is your mother's name? Kennedy.
56. How many words do you know? 10% more than the average american.
57. Ranch or Blue Cheese? Blue cheese... but just the cheese, not dressing.
58. As a child, did you ever take a bite out of your cookie and pretend it was a ray gun? No.
59. What is your dad doing right now? Probably watching TV. I'd guess sci-fi. Oh wait, he goes grocery shopping on Friday nights.
60. I want to meet that dad. Good luck with that.
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Harry Tuttle
()
Date: March 04, 2011 08:07PM
Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> harryo is right...too many yes or no questions.
> I'd like to expand upon the questionnaire.
>
> 61. What would you do if you were walking through
> the park and saw an old man sitting alone on a
> bench, crying? What if it was an old woman? What
> if it was a young man? A young woman? Would you
> try to comfort him/her, or pretend that you didn't
> see them?
I would stop and ask them why they were crying... It doesn't matter age or sex of the crying subject.
>
> 62. If you could boink any female cartoon
> character, who would it be? What if you could
> boink any male cartoon character? Who then?
That's a tough one... I know there's one or two that used to do it for me as a kid... I can't remember them off the top of my head...
Jessica Rabbit used to be hot, but she's let herself go...
I guess I'll choose Sailor Mercury?
>
> 63. There's a 90 year-old man getting beaten up by
> a gang of street toughs. At the same time, there's
> a basket of puppies drowning in a lake. There's
> only time to save one. What do you do? What DO you
> do??
It's not so simple... Who's around? Is there someone out in the lake that could possibly help the pups? Is there a police officer or something around to stop the beating?
I guess I'd help puppies... Unless I had a gun... then I'd help the old man...
>
> 64. The Nazis have your parents.
Have? Like "make time"?
>
> 65. If you had a baby, but the baby came out like
> the baby from "It's Alive" and started killing
> people, would you be able to shoot and kill it?
No problem...
>
> 66. If you had to perform oral on a man in order
> to save a bus full of children from falling off a
> cliff, could you do it?
Easy...
>
> 67. Would you kill Superman? Why or why not?
If I killed him, I'd need a good reason to do so...
At the moment... No... I wouldn't kill him...
>
> 68. How many children could you take in a fight?
I did the math back in that old children thread... one on one, I think I could beat their asses all day long... all at once, maybe like 15 or 20...
>
> 69. How many retarded children?
All at once... 9-12...
>
> 70. Would you chop off a small piece of your
> johnson in exchange for 500 million dollars? Just
> a small piece. You won't even miss it.
Yes, if I get to choose the piece...
>
> 71. There are five urinals in the men's room.
> Which urinal do you go to if all five are
> unoccupied?
One that only has a urinal on one side of it...
>
> 72. What if the middle one is occupied?
Same as above...
>
> 73. What if the middle and the one on the far left
> are both occupied?
Far right...
> 74. Where do you stand in an elevator if there are
> two other people already in it?
Yep... two's company, dood...
>
> 75. What if someone gets on the elevator and
> stands right next to you? What do you do?
Probably discreetly scooch away so I have more room for myself...
>
> 76. What if someone gets on the elevator but
> remains facing you instead of turning towards the
> doors? What do you do then?
I've seen that on TV... I'd look for cameras... Then scooch over so the person isn't standing directly in front of me...
>
> 77. Who would you kill if you knew without a doubt
> you could get away with it? You have to kill
> someone.
Martin Lawrence...
>
> 78. Would you rather eat nothing but taco shells
> for the rest of your life, or only have a sexual
> release (of any kind) once a year?
GOOD ONE! I couldn't eat nothing but taco shells.... No way...
Guess it's goodbye to sexual release...
>
> 79. Would you agree to live within a five mile
> radius of your current residence for the rest of
> your life, in exchange for a billion dollars?
> Remember, if you set foot outside of the five mile
> radius, you will instantly be vaporized. You can
> never go further than five miles of where you
> live, for any reason. Do you take the money?
No
>
> 80. Would you get on a spaceship and travel the
> cosmos if you knew you could never return home?
> What if you could travel back in time, but never
> return to the present?
If I could keep some sort of journal that others could read, yes...
Actually... That's probably just a yes, either way...
Way better, Miz! THanks
You gonna answer the Census too?
Signatures are for fags
-------------------------------------------------------
> harryo is right...too many yes or no questions.
> I'd like to expand upon the questionnaire.
>
> 61. What would you do if you were walking through
> the park and saw an old man sitting alone on a
> bench, crying? What if it was an old woman? What
> if it was a young man? A young woman? Would you
> try to comfort him/her, or pretend that you didn't
> see them?
I would stop and ask them why they were crying... It doesn't matter age or sex of the crying subject.
>
> 62. If you could boink any female cartoon
> character, who would it be? What if you could
> boink any male cartoon character? Who then?
That's a tough one... I know there's one or two that used to do it for me as a kid... I can't remember them off the top of my head...
Jessica Rabbit used to be hot, but she's let herself go...
I guess I'll choose Sailor Mercury?
>
> 63. There's a 90 year-old man getting beaten up by
> a gang of street toughs. At the same time, there's
> a basket of puppies drowning in a lake. There's
> only time to save one. What do you do? What DO you
> do??
It's not so simple... Who's around? Is there someone out in the lake that could possibly help the pups? Is there a police officer or something around to stop the beating?
I guess I'd help puppies... Unless I had a gun... then I'd help the old man...
>
> 64. The Nazis have your parents.
Have? Like "make time"?
>
> 65. If you had a baby, but the baby came out like
> the baby from "It's Alive" and started killing
> people, would you be able to shoot and kill it?
No problem...
>
> 66. If you had to perform oral on a man in order
> to save a bus full of children from falling off a
> cliff, could you do it?
Easy...
>
> 67. Would you kill Superman? Why or why not?
If I killed him, I'd need a good reason to do so...
At the moment... No... I wouldn't kill him...
>
> 68. How many children could you take in a fight?
I did the math back in that old children thread... one on one, I think I could beat their asses all day long... all at once, maybe like 15 or 20...
>
> 69. How many retarded children?
All at once... 9-12...
>
> 70. Would you chop off a small piece of your
> johnson in exchange for 500 million dollars? Just
> a small piece. You won't even miss it.
Yes, if I get to choose the piece...
>
> 71. There are five urinals in the men's room.
> Which urinal do you go to if all five are
> unoccupied?
One that only has a urinal on one side of it...
>
> 72. What if the middle one is occupied?
Same as above...
>
> 73. What if the middle and the one on the far left
> are both occupied?
Far right...
> 74. Where do you stand in an elevator if there are
> two other people already in it?
Yep... two's company, dood...
>
> 75. What if someone gets on the elevator and
> stands right next to you? What do you do?
Probably discreetly scooch away so I have more room for myself...
>
> 76. What if someone gets on the elevator but
> remains facing you instead of turning towards the
> doors? What do you do then?
I've seen that on TV... I'd look for cameras... Then scooch over so the person isn't standing directly in front of me...
>
> 77. Who would you kill if you knew without a doubt
> you could get away with it? You have to kill
> someone.
Martin Lawrence...
>
> 78. Would you rather eat nothing but taco shells
> for the rest of your life, or only have a sexual
> release (of any kind) once a year?
GOOD ONE! I couldn't eat nothing but taco shells.... No way...
Guess it's goodbye to sexual release...
>
> 79. Would you agree to live within a five mile
> radius of your current residence for the rest of
> your life, in exchange for a billion dollars?
> Remember, if you set foot outside of the five mile
> radius, you will instantly be vaporized. You can
> never go further than five miles of where you
> live, for any reason. Do you take the money?
No
>
> 80. Would you get on a spaceship and travel the
> cosmos if you knew you could never return home?
> What if you could travel back in time, but never
> return to the present?
If I could keep some sort of journal that others could read, yes...
Actually... That's probably just a yes, either way...
Way better, Miz! THanks
You gonna answer the Census too?
Signatures are for fags
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Harry Tuttle
()
Date: March 04, 2011 08:14PM
OOPS! Misread 74...
Where do I stand? Wherever there's room... I don't have an elevator preference...
Signatures are for fags
Where do I stand? Wherever there's room... I don't have an elevator preference...
Signatures are for fags
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Harry Tuttle
()
Date: March 04, 2011 08:16PM
Ohhh... and instead of killing Martin Lawrence... I think I'd rather kill the fat guy from King of Queens...
Signatures are for fags
Signatures are for fags
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
@NSWER
()
Date: March 04, 2011 08:40PM
I HAVE EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA.
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
496
()
Date: March 04, 2011 08:49PM
Questions 1 - 60
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Mr. Misery
()
Date: March 05, 2011 12:45AM
Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> harryo is right...too many yes or no questions.
> I'd like to expand upon the questionnaire.
>
> 61. What would you do if you were walking through
> the park and saw an old man sitting alone on a
> bench, crying? What if it was an old woman? What
> if it was a young man? A young woman? Would you
> try to comfort him/her, or pretend that you didn't
> see them?
I would pretend I didn't see them. It might be one of those 20/20 "What Would You Do?" John Quinones setups, y'all!
>
> 62. If you could boink any female cartoon
> character, who would it be? What if you could
> boink any male cartoon character? Who then?
female, Daisy Duck. Male, Dick Tracy.
>
> 63. There's a 90 year-old man getting beaten up by
> a gang of street toughs. At the same time, there's
> a basket of puppies drowning in a lake. There's
> only time to save one. What do you do? What DO you
> do??
I'm saving the puppies. I made the man getting beaten up 90 years old for a reason: he's OLD. He's USELESS. He's going to die soon anyway. Puppies are worth more at that point.
>
> 64. The Nazis have your parents.
I would kill Hitler.
>
> 65. If you had a baby, but the baby came out like
> the baby from "It's Alive" and started killing
> people, would you be able to shoot and kill it?
I would probably just let the authorities take care of that.
>
> 66. If you had to perform oral on a man in order
> to save a bus full of children from falling off a
> cliff, could you do it?
no way. I'm not gay, y'all.
>
> 67. Would you kill Superman? Why or why not?
I would ABSOLUTELY kill Superman---not only because then I could say I'm the man who killed Superman, but because Superman, if he were real, would almost definitely be acting as a puppet of the government. He would take the place of our nuclear arsenal, and be 100 times as dangerous. I would strap on my kryptonite suit and take him down. Something as powerful as Superman can't be allowed to exist. Would you sleep easy at night if you knew there was some omnipotent being out there (most likely being used as a tool of a corrupt government) capable of smashing planets and reversing the earth's rotation?
>
> 68. How many children could you take in a fight?
all at once, battle royale style, I'd say 8.
>
> 69. How many retarded children?
I think I might be able to take one down.
>
> 70. Would you chop off a small piece of your
> johnson in exchange for 500 million dollars? Just
> a small piece. You won't even miss it.
I couldn't do it. Mo' money, mo' problems.
>
> 71. There are five urinals in the men's room.
> Which urinal do you go to if all five are
> unoccupied?
the one on either end.
>
> 72. What if the middle one is occupied?
same as above.
>
> 73. What if the middle and the one on the far left
> are both occupied?
I go to the stall in that situation.
>
> 74. Where do you stand in an elevator if there are
> two other people already in it?
I wait for the next elevator.
>
> 75. What if someone gets on the elevator and
> stands right next to you? What do you do?
I close my eyes.
>
> 76. What if someone gets on the elevator but
> remains facing you instead of turning towards the
> doors? What do you do then?
I turn around too.
>
> 77. Who would you kill if you knew without a doubt
> you could get away with it? You have to kill
> someone.
Bernadette Peters.
>
> 78. Would you rather eat nothing but taco shells
> for the rest of your life, or only have a sexual
> release (of any kind) once a year?
this is going to shock the world, but I'd choose taco shells. I don't enjoy food anyway. I rarely get a decent meal.
>
> 79. Would you agree to live within a five mile
> radius of your current residence for the rest of
> your life, in exchange for a billion dollars?
> Remember, if you set foot outside of the five mile
> radius, you will instantly be vaporized. You can
> never go further than five miles of where you
> live, for any reason. Do you take the money?
I'd take the money. I never go anywhere.
>
> 80. Would you get on a spaceship and travel the
> cosmos if you knew you could never return home?
> What if you could travel back in time, but never
> return to the present?
yeah, I'd go.
now, Genevieve----why in the hell don't you own a TV??
-------------------------------------------------------
> harryo is right...too many yes or no questions.
> I'd like to expand upon the questionnaire.
>
> 61. What would you do if you were walking through
> the park and saw an old man sitting alone on a
> bench, crying? What if it was an old woman? What
> if it was a young man? A young woman? Would you
> try to comfort him/her, or pretend that you didn't
> see them?
I would pretend I didn't see them. It might be one of those 20/20 "What Would You Do?" John Quinones setups, y'all!
>
> 62. If you could boink any female cartoon
> character, who would it be? What if you could
> boink any male cartoon character? Who then?
female, Daisy Duck. Male, Dick Tracy.
>
> 63. There's a 90 year-old man getting beaten up by
> a gang of street toughs. At the same time, there's
> a basket of puppies drowning in a lake. There's
> only time to save one. What do you do? What DO you
> do??
I'm saving the puppies. I made the man getting beaten up 90 years old for a reason: he's OLD. He's USELESS. He's going to die soon anyway. Puppies are worth more at that point.
>
> 64. The Nazis have your parents.
I would kill Hitler.
>
> 65. If you had a baby, but the baby came out like
> the baby from "It's Alive" and started killing
> people, would you be able to shoot and kill it?
I would probably just let the authorities take care of that.
>
> 66. If you had to perform oral on a man in order
> to save a bus full of children from falling off a
> cliff, could you do it?
no way. I'm not gay, y'all.
>
> 67. Would you kill Superman? Why or why not?
I would ABSOLUTELY kill Superman---not only because then I could say I'm the man who killed Superman, but because Superman, if he were real, would almost definitely be acting as a puppet of the government. He would take the place of our nuclear arsenal, and be 100 times as dangerous. I would strap on my kryptonite suit and take him down. Something as powerful as Superman can't be allowed to exist. Would you sleep easy at night if you knew there was some omnipotent being out there (most likely being used as a tool of a corrupt government) capable of smashing planets and reversing the earth's rotation?
>
> 68. How many children could you take in a fight?
all at once, battle royale style, I'd say 8.
>
> 69. How many retarded children?
I think I might be able to take one down.
>
> 70. Would you chop off a small piece of your
> johnson in exchange for 500 million dollars? Just
> a small piece. You won't even miss it.
I couldn't do it. Mo' money, mo' problems.
>
> 71. There are five urinals in the men's room.
> Which urinal do you go to if all five are
> unoccupied?
the one on either end.
>
> 72. What if the middle one is occupied?
same as above.
>
> 73. What if the middle and the one on the far left
> are both occupied?
I go to the stall in that situation.
>
> 74. Where do you stand in an elevator if there are
> two other people already in it?
I wait for the next elevator.
>
> 75. What if someone gets on the elevator and
> stands right next to you? What do you do?
I close my eyes.
>
> 76. What if someone gets on the elevator but
> remains facing you instead of turning towards the
> doors? What do you do then?
I turn around too.
>
> 77. Who would you kill if you knew without a doubt
> you could get away with it? You have to kill
> someone.
Bernadette Peters.
>
> 78. Would you rather eat nothing but taco shells
> for the rest of your life, or only have a sexual
> release (of any kind) once a year?
this is going to shock the world, but I'd choose taco shells. I don't enjoy food anyway. I rarely get a decent meal.
>
> 79. Would you agree to live within a five mile
> radius of your current residence for the rest of
> your life, in exchange for a billion dollars?
> Remember, if you set foot outside of the five mile
> radius, you will instantly be vaporized. You can
> never go further than five miles of where you
> live, for any reason. Do you take the money?
I'd take the money. I never go anywhere.
>
> 80. Would you get on a spaceship and travel the
> cosmos if you knew you could never return home?
> What if you could travel back in time, but never
> return to the present?
yeah, I'd go.
now, Genevieve----why in the hell don't you own a TV??
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Genevieve
()
Date: March 05, 2011 10:48AM
Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> now, Genevieve----why in the hell don't you own a
> TV??
1.) iTunes and books provide ample entertainment
2.) My boyfriend owns a TV (well a projector) and I am usually at his place
3.) Everything I own fits easily in a cargo van
-------------------------------------------------------
> now, Genevieve----why in the hell don't you own a
> TV??
1.) iTunes and books provide ample entertainment
2.) My boyfriend owns a TV (well a projector) and I am usually at his place
3.) Everything I own fits easily in a cargo van
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Ms ProVallone
()
Date: March 05, 2011 10:58AM
Where did you come up with these questions, or did you make them up as you went.
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
I'm not eesh
()
Date: March 05, 2011 08:16PM
Ms ProVallone Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Where did you come up with these questions, or did
> you make them up as you went.
Yeah, really. And, why so damn many questions? I could see 5 - 10 being more appropriate.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Where did you come up with these questions, or did
> you make them up as you went.
Yeah, really. And, why so damn many questions? I could see 5 - 10 being more appropriate.
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Conie
()
Date: March 05, 2011 09:20PM
Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> this is the census for FFXU. Everyone must answer.
>
>
> 1. What is the best thing? Serenity
>
> 2. What is the worst thing? tomato aspic
>
> 3. How is your dad? curmudgeony
>
> 4. Do you know what the term 'rule of thumb'
> refers to?
the distance between knuckles on the thumb is about an inch?
And that became a standard?
>
> 5. Who is your best character in Street Fighter
> II?
NA
>
> 6. Which Muppet would you trust the least around
> your children, and why?
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew...there are few doctors i trust. Excepting our Doc.
>
> 7. Did you watch The Snorks as a kid?
No
>
> 8. What kind of music does your dad enjoy?
he doesn't
>
> 9. Have you ever broken something and then had to
> buy it?
No
>
> 10. Is it okay to lick the nozzle on a water
> fountain?
only if you want a communicable disease.
>
> 11. Are you experienced?
PSHHHH...do you even have to ask?
>
> 12. Can you tell the difference between Chinese
> and Japanese people?
Yeah
>
> 13. Did you ever have a baby?
yes
>
> 14. What did you do with the baby?
raised it the best i knew how.
>
> 15. Where is the baby right now?
I don't even want to imagine..it's Saturday night Miz!
>
> 16. Do dogs smile?
Yes..but, their smile is in their tail...kind of like men..HA!
>
> 17. When is it okay to hit your mother?
If she's a skank..and only then
>
> 18. What about elephants?
Same as above.
>
> 19. Do you sit or stand?
I'm Catholic. We sit..we stand..we sit..we stand
>
> 20. Pants or no pants?
thongs
>
> 21. Have you ever shopped in a Lidz store
Next question?
>
> 22. Can you tell when your dog isn't paying
> attention?
Oh yes...especially when she's whistling.
>
> 23. Which US president would you want on your
> team?
Reagan
>
> 24. Have you ever said "he's right behind me,
> isn't he?"?
No..i hope to god noone else has been there when he's right behind me.
>
> 25. Where is it?
right behind you!!!
>
> 26. What is your dad like?
A dear old crmudgeony man.
>
> 27. How many pills do you take in a day?
6
>
> 28. What if there were no chairs?
We would all be more down-to-earth.
>
> 29. How important are pillows to you?
very
>
> 30. Do you think it would bother you a lot, a
> little, or not at all if there were no pillows?
a lot
>
> 31. What kind of TV do you have?
a 42" plasma
>
> 32. What do you eat?
refer to lunch and dinner threads
>
> 33. If you could turn invisible, what is the first
> thing you would do?
>
> 34. I know the first thing I'd do.
I do too....get your mind out of the gutter Miz
>
> 35. How many fingers am I holding up?
Probably one..your middle finger. Grow up Miz!
>
> 36. What's love got to do with it?
It's just a second hand emotion.
>
> 37. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
definitely blind. the sound of a voice means so much more than how someone looks.
>
> 38. How many white people are there?
There aren't. Who do you know that's white?
>
> 39. Do you ever think about the children?
Always
>
> 40. How many babies would it take?
to paint a wall red?..oh Miz...
>
> 41. Can you think of seven non-human things that
> speak?
all kinds of animals/ideas/art/color/flavors/gestures/eesh
>
> 42. What is your favorite flavor?
garlic
>
> 43. Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly
> donut, and then fill it with chocolate-swirl ice
> cream?
No..but great idea.
>
> 44. What would you do?
I would always speak up..always.
>
> 45. If there was an asteroid headed towards earth,
> would you go out shooting and raping people? Why
> not?
No...i would be kissing my ass good-bye.
>
> 46. Will there ever be a rainbow?
I hope so..i hope so. We need to love each other.
P.S. I'm an old hippie. I guess i never told you that.
>
> 47. If you love pizza so much, why don't you marry
> it?
I know you are, but what am i?
>
> 48. Don't touch the dog.
I won't..and you Don't touch the pussy.
>
> 49. Wolverine or Iron Man?
IDK
>
> 50. Batman or Superman?
Superman. Batman is gay.
>
> 51. Doctor Doom or Magneto?
Wut
>
> 52. Colossus or Nightcrawler?
Wut
>
> 53. How many hats do you own?
Not many..i don't look good in hats.
>
> 54. Do you sweat a lot?
Only right before i open a PM from eesh.
>
> 55. What is your mother's name?
Bitch
>
> 56. How many words do you know?
Muchas
>
> 57. Ranch or Blue Cheese?
Neither. They're both fattening.
>
> 58. As a child, did you ever take a bite out of
> your cookie and pretend it was a ray gun?
No..girls don't do that.I probably took a bite out and pretended it was a....
>
> 59. What is your dad doing right now?
Being curmudgeony
>
> 60. I want to meet that dad.
>
> thank you
I'm sorry if i missed any. That was a long fucking list.
-------------------------------------------------------
> this is the census for FFXU. Everyone must answer.
>
>
> 1. What is the best thing? Serenity
>
> 2. What is the worst thing? tomato aspic
>
> 3. How is your dad? curmudgeony
>
> 4. Do you know what the term 'rule of thumb'
> refers to?
the distance between knuckles on the thumb is about an inch?
And that became a standard?
>
> 5. Who is your best character in Street Fighter
> II?
NA
>
> 6. Which Muppet would you trust the least around
> your children, and why?
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew...there are few doctors i trust. Excepting our Doc.
>
> 7. Did you watch The Snorks as a kid?
No
>
> 8. What kind of music does your dad enjoy?
he doesn't
>
> 9. Have you ever broken something and then had to
> buy it?
No
>
> 10. Is it okay to lick the nozzle on a water
> fountain?
only if you want a communicable disease.
>
> 11. Are you experienced?
PSHHHH...do you even have to ask?
>
> 12. Can you tell the difference between Chinese
> and Japanese people?
Yeah
>
> 13. Did you ever have a baby?
yes
>
> 14. What did you do with the baby?
raised it the best i knew how.
>
> 15. Where is the baby right now?
I don't even want to imagine..it's Saturday night Miz!
>
> 16. Do dogs smile?
Yes..but, their smile is in their tail...kind of like men..HA!
>
> 17. When is it okay to hit your mother?
If she's a skank..and only then
>
> 18. What about elephants?
Same as above.
>
> 19. Do you sit or stand?
I'm Catholic. We sit..we stand..we sit..we stand
>
> 20. Pants or no pants?
thongs
>
> 21. Have you ever shopped in a Lidz store
Next question?
>
> 22. Can you tell when your dog isn't paying
> attention?
Oh yes...especially when she's whistling.
>
> 23. Which US president would you want on your
> team?
Reagan
>
> 24. Have you ever said "he's right behind me,
> isn't he?"?
No..i hope to god noone else has been there when he's right behind me.
>
> 25. Where is it?
right behind you!!!
>
> 26. What is your dad like?
A dear old crmudgeony man.
>
> 27. How many pills do you take in a day?
6
>
> 28. What if there were no chairs?
We would all be more down-to-earth.
>
> 29. How important are pillows to you?
very
>
> 30. Do you think it would bother you a lot, a
> little, or not at all if there were no pillows?
a lot
>
> 31. What kind of TV do you have?
a 42" plasma
>
> 32. What do you eat?
refer to lunch and dinner threads
>
> 33. If you could turn invisible, what is the first
> thing you would do?
>
> 34. I know the first thing I'd do.
I do too....get your mind out of the gutter Miz
>
> 35. How many fingers am I holding up?
Probably one..your middle finger. Grow up Miz!
>
> 36. What's love got to do with it?
It's just a second hand emotion.
>
> 37. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
definitely blind. the sound of a voice means so much more than how someone looks.
>
> 38. How many white people are there?
There aren't. Who do you know that's white?
>
> 39. Do you ever think about the children?
Always
>
> 40. How many babies would it take?
to paint a wall red?..oh Miz...
>
> 41. Can you think of seven non-human things that
> speak?
all kinds of animals/ideas/art/color/flavors/gestures/eesh
>
> 42. What is your favorite flavor?
garlic
>
> 43. Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly
> donut, and then fill it with chocolate-swirl ice
> cream?
No..but great idea.
>
> 44. What would you do?
I would always speak up..always.
>
> 45. If there was an asteroid headed towards earth,
> would you go out shooting and raping people? Why
> not?
No...i would be kissing my ass good-bye.
>
> 46. Will there ever be a rainbow?
I hope so..i hope so. We need to love each other.
P.S. I'm an old hippie. I guess i never told you that.
>
> 47. If you love pizza so much, why don't you marry
> it?
I know you are, but what am i?
>
> 48. Don't touch the dog.
I won't..and you Don't touch the pussy.
>
> 49. Wolverine or Iron Man?
IDK
>
> 50. Batman or Superman?
Superman. Batman is gay.
>
> 51. Doctor Doom or Magneto?
Wut
>
> 52. Colossus or Nightcrawler?
Wut
>
> 53. How many hats do you own?
Not many..i don't look good in hats.
>
> 54. Do you sweat a lot?
Only right before i open a PM from eesh.
>
> 55. What is your mother's name?
Bitch
>
> 56. How many words do you know?
Muchas
>
> 57. Ranch or Blue Cheese?
Neither. They're both fattening.
>
> 58. As a child, did you ever take a bite out of
> your cookie and pretend it was a ray gun?
No..girls don't do that.I probably took a bite out and pretended it was a....
>
> 59. What is your dad doing right now?
Being curmudgeony
>
> 60. I want to meet that dad.
>
> thank you
I'm sorry if i missed any. That was a long fucking list.
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Conie
()
Date: March 05, 2011 09:53PM
Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> harryo is right...too many yes or no questions.
> I'd like to expand upon the questionnaire.
>
> 61. What would you do if you were walking through
> the park and saw an old man sitting alone on a
> bench, crying? What if it was an old woman? What
> if it was a young man? A young woman? Would you
> try to comfort him/her, or pretend that you didn't
> see them?
First i would look around me everywhere to see if John Quinones was
hiding behind a tree..and then, no matter who it was -- i would approach them.
>
> 62. If you could boink any female cartoon
> character, who would it be? What if you could
> boink any male cartoon character? Who then?
Porky pig..such a lonely guy
>
> 63. There's a 90 year-old man getting beaten up by
> a gang of street toughs. At the same time, there's
> a basket of puppies drowning in a lake. There's
> only time to save one. What do you do? What DO you
> do??
Well..John. I would save the puppies. and then i would pray that
the old guy gets some pussy in heaven.
>
> 64. The Nazis have your parents.
My parents aren't jewish or homosexual.
>
> 65. If you had a baby, but the baby came out like
> the baby from "It's Alive" and started killing
> people, would you be able to shoot and kill it?
Absolutely
>
> 66. If you had to perform oral on a man in order
> to save a bus full of children from falling off a
> cliff, could you do it?
yes...EWW
>
> 67. Would you kill Superman? Why or why not?
That's stupid
>
> 68. How many children could you take in a fight?
"children" is a broad term Miz. Ages? Sizes? Genders? Bros?
>
> 69. How many retarded children?
I know you are but what am i?
>
> 70. Would you chop off a small piece of your
> johnson in exchange for 500 million dollars? Just
> a small piece. You won't even miss it.
>
NA
> 71. There are five urinals in the men's room.
> Which urinal do you go to if all five are
> unoccupied?
NA
>
> 72. What if the middle one is occupied?
Wut
>
> 73. What if the middle and the one on the far left
> are both occupied?
>
> 74. Where do you stand in an elevator if there are
> two other people already in it?
right in front by the door
>
> 75. What if someone gets on the elevator and
> stands right next to you? What do you do?
I hold my breath until i get to my floor.
>
> 76. What if someone gets on the elevator but
> remains facing you instead of turning towards the
> doors? What do you do then?
Fart
>
> 77. Who would you kill if you knew without a doubt
> you could get away with it? You have to kill
> someone.
I have to skip this question due to an anxiety attack
>
> 78. Would you rather eat nothing but taco shells
> for the rest of your life, or only have a sexual
> release (of any kind) once a year?
the sexual thing....
>
> 79. Would you agree to live within a five mile
> radius of your current residence for the rest of
> your life, in exchange for a billion dollars?
> Remember, if you set foot outside of the five mile
> radius, you will instantly be vaporized. You can
> never go further than five miles of where you
> live, for any reason. Do you take the money?
No. Even if you took the money and created your own "perfect" realm...it would still be contrived.
>
> 80. Would you get on a spaceship and travel the
> cosmos if you knew you could never return home?
> What if you could travel back in time, but never
> return to the present?
No.
-------------------------------------------------------
> harryo is right...too many yes or no questions.
> I'd like to expand upon the questionnaire.
>
> 61. What would you do if you were walking through
> the park and saw an old man sitting alone on a
> bench, crying? What if it was an old woman? What
> if it was a young man? A young woman? Would you
> try to comfort him/her, or pretend that you didn't
> see them?
First i would look around me everywhere to see if John Quinones was
hiding behind a tree..and then, no matter who it was -- i would approach them.
>
> 62. If you could boink any female cartoon
> character, who would it be? What if you could
> boink any male cartoon character? Who then?
Porky pig..such a lonely guy
>
> 63. There's a 90 year-old man getting beaten up by
> a gang of street toughs. At the same time, there's
> a basket of puppies drowning in a lake. There's
> only time to save one. What do you do? What DO you
> do??
Well..John. I would save the puppies. and then i would pray that
the old guy gets some pussy in heaven.
>
> 64. The Nazis have your parents.
My parents aren't jewish or homosexual.
>
> 65. If you had a baby, but the baby came out like
> the baby from "It's Alive" and started killing
> people, would you be able to shoot and kill it?
Absolutely
>
> 66. If you had to perform oral on a man in order
> to save a bus full of children from falling off a
> cliff, could you do it?
yes...EWW
>
> 67. Would you kill Superman? Why or why not?
That's stupid
>
> 68. How many children could you take in a fight?
"children" is a broad term Miz. Ages? Sizes? Genders? Bros?
>
> 69. How many retarded children?
I know you are but what am i?
>
> 70. Would you chop off a small piece of your
> johnson in exchange for 500 million dollars? Just
> a small piece. You won't even miss it.
>
NA
> 71. There are five urinals in the men's room.
> Which urinal do you go to if all five are
> unoccupied?
NA
>
> 72. What if the middle one is occupied?
Wut
>
> 73. What if the middle and the one on the far left
> are both occupied?
>
> 74. Where do you stand in an elevator if there are
> two other people already in it?
right in front by the door
>
> 75. What if someone gets on the elevator and
> stands right next to you? What do you do?
I hold my breath until i get to my floor.
>
> 76. What if someone gets on the elevator but
> remains facing you instead of turning towards the
> doors? What do you do then?
Fart
>
> 77. Who would you kill if you knew without a doubt
> you could get away with it? You have to kill
> someone.
I have to skip this question due to an anxiety attack
>
> 78. Would you rather eat nothing but taco shells
> for the rest of your life, or only have a sexual
> release (of any kind) once a year?
the sexual thing....
>
> 79. Would you agree to live within a five mile
> radius of your current residence for the rest of
> your life, in exchange for a billion dollars?
> Remember, if you set foot outside of the five mile
> radius, you will instantly be vaporized. You can
> never go further than five miles of where you
> live, for any reason. Do you take the money?
No. Even if you took the money and created your own "perfect" realm...it would still be contrived.
>
> 80. Would you get on a spaceship and travel the
> cosmos if you knew you could never return home?
> What if you could travel back in time, but never
> return to the present?
No.
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
MrMephisto
()
Date: March 05, 2011 09:54PM
MySpace called. They want their bulletin posts back.
--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.
--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Mr. Misery
()
Date: March 06, 2011 12:54AM
MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> MySpace called. They want their bulletin posts
> back.
well, the jerk store called, and THEY ran out of YOU!!!
Attachments:
-------------------------------------------------------
> MySpace called. They want their bulletin posts
> back.
well, the jerk store called, and THEY ran out of YOU!!!
Attachments:
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Stinkfist
()
Date: March 06, 2011 09:21AM
this is the census for FFXU. Everyone must answer.
1. What is the best thing?
Vagina
2. What is the worst thing?
Michigan
3. How is your dad?
He could stand to lose a few pounds.
4. Do you know what the term 'rule of thumb' refers to?
Yeah. I saw Boondock Saints.
5. Who is your best character in Street Fighter II?
Not very familiar with that game. The green dude from Brazil was my favorite.
6. Which Muppet would you trust the least around your children, and why?
I don't have kids.
7. Did you watch The Snorks as a kid?
The what?
8. What kind of music does your dad enjoy?
HUGE Beatles fan.
9. Have you ever broken something and then had to buy it?
No.
10. Is it okay to lick the nozzle on a water fountain?
No.
11. Are you experienced?
at?
12. Can you tell the difference between Chinese and Japanese people?
That's a tough one.
13. Did you ever have a baby?
No
14. What did you do with the baby?
N/A
15. Where is the baby right now?
Microwave.
16. Do dogs smile?
YES
17. When is it okay to hit your mother?
It's never ok to hit a woman unless it's self defense.
18. What about elephants?
They take huge shits.
19. Do you sit or stand?
Both
20. Pants or no pants?
depends
21. Have you ever shopped in a Lidz store?
Dont wear hats.
22. Can you tell when your dog isn't paying attention?
Yes
23. Which US president would you want on your team?
Bill the thrill
24. Have you ever said "he's right behind me, isn't he?"?
No, I try not to talk shit.
25. Where is it?
Wilkes Barre, PA
26. What is your dad like?
Successful
27. How many pills do you take in a day?
2 fish oils and 1 multi
28. What if there were no chairs?
I stand
29. How important are pillows to you?
Theyre essential for a good nights sleep
30. Do you think it would bother you a lot, a little, or not at all if there were no pillows?
a lot
31. What kind of TV do you have?
42 inch Toshiba.
32. What do you eat?
Lean protein, complex carbs, healthy fats...And pussy.
33. If you could turn invisible, what is the first thing you would do?
start some serious pranks.
34. I know the first thing I'd do.
uh huh
35. How many fingers am I holding up?
one
36. What's love got to do with it?
everything
37. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
deaf
38. How many white people are there?
Too many
39. Do you ever think about the children?
Not a big fan of kids.
40. How many babies would it take?
none
41. Can you think of seven non-human things that speak?
By speak you mean?
42. What is your favorite flavor?
Buffalo wing anything
43. Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly donut, and then fill it with chocolate-swirl ice cream?
no
44. What would you do?
nothing
45. If there was an asteroid headed towards earth, would you go out shooting and raping people? Why not?
No. It's not the right thing to do. Shooting people would be kinda pointless, right?
46. Will there ever be a rainbow?
Yes.
47. If you love pizza so much, why don't you marry it?
It burns my dick
48. Don't touch the dog.
if you're Korean
49. Wolverine or Iron Man?
Wolverine
50. Batman or Superman?
Batman
51. Doctor Doom or Magneto?
Magneto
52. Colossus or Nightcrawler?
Colossus is a beast.
53. How many hats do you own?
Not sure
54. Do you sweat a lot?
When I work out
55. What is your mother's name?
56. How many words do you know?
enough to get by.
57. Ranch or Blue Cheese?
I like both. Blue cheese with wings.
58. As a child, did you ever take a bite out of your cookie and pretend it was a ray gun?
No.
59. What is your dad doing right now?
not sure
60. I want to meet that dad.
interesting
1. What is the best thing?
Vagina
2. What is the worst thing?
Michigan
3. How is your dad?
He could stand to lose a few pounds.
4. Do you know what the term 'rule of thumb' refers to?
Yeah. I saw Boondock Saints.
5. Who is your best character in Street Fighter II?
Not very familiar with that game. The green dude from Brazil was my favorite.
6. Which Muppet would you trust the least around your children, and why?
I don't have kids.
7. Did you watch The Snorks as a kid?
The what?
8. What kind of music does your dad enjoy?
HUGE Beatles fan.
9. Have you ever broken something and then had to buy it?
No.
10. Is it okay to lick the nozzle on a water fountain?
No.
11. Are you experienced?
at?
12. Can you tell the difference between Chinese and Japanese people?
That's a tough one.
13. Did you ever have a baby?
No
14. What did you do with the baby?
N/A
15. Where is the baby right now?
Microwave.
16. Do dogs smile?
YES
17. When is it okay to hit your mother?
It's never ok to hit a woman unless it's self defense.
18. What about elephants?
They take huge shits.
19. Do you sit or stand?
Both
20. Pants or no pants?
depends
21. Have you ever shopped in a Lidz store?
Dont wear hats.
22. Can you tell when your dog isn't paying attention?
Yes
23. Which US president would you want on your team?
Bill the thrill
24. Have you ever said "he's right behind me, isn't he?"?
No, I try not to talk shit.
25. Where is it?
Wilkes Barre, PA
26. What is your dad like?
Successful
27. How many pills do you take in a day?
2 fish oils and 1 multi
28. What if there were no chairs?
I stand
29. How important are pillows to you?
Theyre essential for a good nights sleep
30. Do you think it would bother you a lot, a little, or not at all if there were no pillows?
a lot
31. What kind of TV do you have?
42 inch Toshiba.
32. What do you eat?
Lean protein, complex carbs, healthy fats...And pussy.
33. If you could turn invisible, what is the first thing you would do?
start some serious pranks.
34. I know the first thing I'd do.
uh huh
35. How many fingers am I holding up?
one
36. What's love got to do with it?
everything
37. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
deaf
38. How many white people are there?
Too many
39. Do you ever think about the children?
Not a big fan of kids.
40. How many babies would it take?
none
41. Can you think of seven non-human things that speak?
By speak you mean?
42. What is your favorite flavor?
Buffalo wing anything
43. Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly donut, and then fill it with chocolate-swirl ice cream?
no
44. What would you do?
nothing
45. If there was an asteroid headed towards earth, would you go out shooting and raping people? Why not?
No. It's not the right thing to do. Shooting people would be kinda pointless, right?
46. Will there ever be a rainbow?
Yes.
47. If you love pizza so much, why don't you marry it?
It burns my dick
48. Don't touch the dog.
if you're Korean
49. Wolverine or Iron Man?
Wolverine
50. Batman or Superman?
Batman
51. Doctor Doom or Magneto?
Magneto
52. Colossus or Nightcrawler?
Colossus is a beast.
53. How many hats do you own?
Not sure
54. Do you sweat a lot?
When I work out
55. What is your mother's name?
56. How many words do you know?
enough to get by.
57. Ranch or Blue Cheese?
I like both. Blue cheese with wings.
58. As a child, did you ever take a bite out of your cookie and pretend it was a ray gun?
No.
59. What is your dad doing right now?
not sure
60. I want to meet that dad.
interesting
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Mr. Misery
()
Date: March 20, 2011 01:27AM
61. do you like cock?
anser;" YES###@#@@@@!!!!!
anser;" YES###@#@@@@!!!!!
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
Hatemotor
()
Date: July 31, 2011 08:37PM
I think it was Adam Carolla that said you can tell everything you need to know about someone by asking them 4 questions,,,
What's your favorite,,,
Animal
Song
Color
Car
I might add movie too
What's your favorite,,,
Animal
Song
Color
Car
I might add movie too
Re: Fairfax Underground 2011 Census
Posted by:
...
()
Date: August 02, 2011 05:04AM
I do not recognise the legitimacy of this census. Article 1 Section 2 provides for an enumeration only, and by law district.
Thus, my only response to these inquiries is that I am one person residing Tazewell Co., Virginia.
Thus, my only response to these inquiries is that I am one person residing Tazewell Co., Virginia.