I've had an interesting day. This morning I was running late for work. I was sitting at a traffic light almost there, waiting to take a left hand turn, and got this idea. I was going to sync motion.

There were approximately 6 cars in front of me waiting for the green turn arrow. I approached the cars and motioned for each driver to roll down their window. Simple concept, I said, -- we're going to sync our motion. When this light turns green, I want to you to count to 3. At precisely 3 seconds after the light turns, gently accelerate. What?, they said -- just do what I ask because I am late for work I replied.

The light turned green. I counted to 3, and gently accelerated. Just as I had anticipated, the line of cars moved like a train. Gliding forward in perfect unison. It required strict obedience to direction but these folks were simply outstanding. I will probably try it again.

So, I park in the parking garage and hop in the elevator with 4 other people. We get to the 10th floor and I hear a monstrous snap which apparently was the cable breaking sending our elevator plummeting to the ground. Though I was prepared to die, I had a split second thought, an idea, and my natural survival instinct took over. Moments before the elevator crashed to the ground, I leaped in the air as high as I possibly could. While in the air, for maybe a matter of one second, the elevator smashed into the ground killing everyone inside -- that is except for me. I avoided disaster, and death, by suspending myself in mid-air during the moment of impact. I emerged unscathed. Everyone else died.

For lunch, I went to an abandoned parking lot and had a staring competition with a freshly planted, but dying tree. It was held up by metal wires anchored to spikes of wood buried in the mulch.

Thanks everyone. Make it a great day.

EJ,
   just make a stupid fucking blog for no one to read and put in your stories there.

i thought you were leaving the site? *sigh*


"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."

-



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/29/2009 09:29AM by Expensive Jeans.

this wouldnt work. You as a passenger in the elevator would still match the velocity of the elevator and be thrown towards the impact of the crash. Take a phsyics class you clown.

is the traffic light feasible?

EJ:

fuck you

Expensive Jeans Wrote:
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> that's not me

right, and robert isnt meade.


"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."

Awesome post.

I wonder what a blog site run by Manson would be like..

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> I wonder what a blog site run by Manson would be
> like..

http://brianwarner.blog.hr

-



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/29/2009 09:30AM by Expensive Jeans.

Let's test this theory. Drop off the face of the earth. See if you are missed.

I didnt say anything about conformity or the perfection of online citizens.. and i especially didnt say the lack of either puts you into a "Manson" category.. so no need to continue reading that..

i just had a random though and posted a question... not much unlike you..

and BTW.. i was talking about Charles Manson



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 10/01/2007 02:33PM by bdimag.

were you talking about the British BAND called Mansun? they fucking RAWKED

So I must ask, why all the expensive jean's hate?

From my time (limited, granted) i've spent here, he seems to be one of the brightest bulbs in the bunch. Some of his posts are absolutely marvelous. Yes, the language can sometimes be harsh, but nothing that extreme.

Then there are some whom immediately start in with their hatred? I for one am a fan of EJ, his writing, and the truths he so subtlety exposes. Grow up, people, and stop being a bunch of prudes. As an outsider, a majority of you people come off ass stuck-up losers. And thats coming from a 48 yr old woman!! :)

Thank you, Carol, for stepping up to bat for EJ. Just for the record, I did not create this thread. I'm not sure how I got associated with it but I will take all the attention I can get. I agree with most everything you said in your post. You are quite perceptive, and I admire that in a woman.

I think most people on the internet are stuck-up loser

Ej is a pretentious, self absorbed nitwit. thats why people dont like his posts.

his efforts are longwinded and self indulgent, though occasionally ripe with poignant imagery and universal truth

Carol Adams Wrote:
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> his efforts are longwinded and self indulgent,
> though occasionally ripe with poignant imagery and
> universal truth


his posts are inane, shallow and ripe for mockery.

whoa whoa whoa

where do you get off speaking to me like that?

> his efforts are longwinded and self indulgent, though occasionally ripe with poignant imagery and universal truth

So in other words he's like a cross between Hunter S. Thompson and a complete douchebag.

Thanks, Carol.

You're a real doll.

Apparently you don't know why Otis elevators are famous and how Otis got rich in the 1800's. All elevators have a "Otis" stop mechanism built into them. If the cable breaks pins go into a metal emergency stop strip and prevent the elevator from moving.

This is really boring stuff - "The light turned green. I counted to 3, and gently accelerated. Just as I had anticipated, the line of cars moved"

How about something like ""The light turned green. I counted to 3, and gently accelerated. Just then a shotgun blast blew out my rear window causing my car to explode in a ball of fire and launching me into the busy intersecting where an 18 Wheeler ran me over and killed me. As a result I was no longer able to write boring stories."

I agree with Gravis, you need to get a blog some place and send your myspace friends emails to read it. Better them then us.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/01/2007 05:19PM by Lurker..

Expensive Jeans Wrote:
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> whoa whoa whoa
>
> where do you get off speaking to me like that?


If you have the balls to post your inanity on a public forum then I can critique it however I wish. And yes, Carol is a doll. Probably with you fist shoved up her ass and your hand working her mouth.

EJ, I'm glad we've finally crossed paths. My name is Carol Adams, from a major media outlet located in Washington DC.

You do not know me, but I certainly know you. And very well, as a matter of fact.

How would you feel about coming to blog for our web site? We can discuss the details via email?

-



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/30/2009 10:19PM by Expensive Jeans.

from a major media outlet located in Washington DC.

LOL, she probably works at Lamda Rising.... go for it EJ, you'll fit right in.

Yes for the love of all that is good and holy make EJ STOP spreading his cheese on this site and let his Cream Puff lite musings somewhere else!
I lay ten to 1 odds Carol adams is really the other personality rattling around in EJ's head.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/01/2007 05:23PM by ferfux.

I'd also wager that Carol is fake and part of "EJ in Wonderland."

As for EJ's posts:
"I write only for myself and for my own musings."

Then why are you posting the stuff here?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/01/2007 05:54PM by Lurker..

Carol Adams Wrote:
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> I for one am a fan of EJ, his
> writing, and the truths he so subtlety exposes.

fictional stories ≠ truths


"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."

i believe she meant there were truths embedded within the stories if you were intelligent enough to extract them

Reg but Anon Wrote:
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> i believe she meant there were truths embedded
> within the stories if you were intelligent enough
> to extract them

I am certain that's not what she meant.

The only things embedded in his ramblings are steaming piles of turds.

LOL

I too was an EJ hater. One day he PM'd me to meet him face to face which I did. Upon meeting, Ej instantly sunk to his knees and sucked the bejesus out of my cock. He finished with a flourish and smile and remarked, "post THAT on FU!"

let the record show that the boarder above is lying

i have an image to maintain