No holds barred, how would you choose to be executed?

I'm thinking something along the lines of moving target at a tank range maybe.

Old age or have to fuck until my heart gives out.

In reality,I'd probably choose the lethal injection, because it looks quiet,dignified and painless- very unlike what I think most killers deserve.

idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam



Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.

Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM

Gonads & Strife Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> No holds barred, how would you choose to be
> executed?
>
> I'm thinking something along the lines of moving
> target at a tank range maybe.


I'd put rat poison in your morning coffee



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/23/2010 06:30PM by NicoleH.

WingNut Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> In reality,I'd probably choose the lethal
> injection, because it looks quiet,dignified and
> painless- very unlike what I think most killers
> deserve.

Some survivors of the process described searing pain, and the first shot paralyzes you. It looks quiet and peaceful because the recipient can't scream, or at least that's what I'm thinking and why I wouldn't pick that one. Quickest and least painful is going to be firing squad.

OK, how about we suspend the condemned from a low crane by his feet. Cover him with molkasses and honey, then fire ants. The crane swings and lowers giving the condemned some scrapes and contusions along the way. Bad music such as "We Like to Party" by the Venga Boys is played loudly through headphones the condemned wears. Bystanders are encouraged to throw rocks,bottles and other light missiles at the swinging target.

Next an incision is made in the condemned mans belly and a hook and fishing line is attached to one of his in intestines. As he continues to rock back and forth, his entrails unravel. Gasoline is thrown onto him and ignited and he is poked with harpoons and makeshift weapons by a group of children wearing clown masks.

The fire is extinguished before it becomes "too serious" by throwing buckets of lemon juice onto the condemned. The crane drops him onto his head and he is locked in the trunk of a small compact car which is fueled up and driven over a bumpy road for several hours.

If the condemned lives through this, he is granted a stay of execution and a pardon because we are a compassionate society.

idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam



Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.

Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM

Guillotine

Signatures are for fags

Pear of Anguish.




-
Attachments:

I understand the design of the Pear of Anguish, but where does it go? Mouth or ass?

Numbers Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I understand the design of the Pear of Anguish,
> but where does it go? Mouth or ass?





Mouth, rectum, or vagina.

Mouth, ass, or vagina...

Depending on the offense...

Numbers Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I understand the design of the Pear of Anguish,
> but where does it go? Mouth or ass?

Signatures are for fags

NicoleH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Gonads & Strife Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > No holds barred, how would you choose to be
> > executed?
> >
> > I'm thinking something along the lines of
> moving
> > target at a tank range maybe.
>
>
> I'd put rat poison in your morning coffee


I'm one step ahead of you, woman

Whenever I see an antique sword, I imagine what it must have looked like covered in blood. Then I see that fucking Pear of Anguish. Bleck!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

They should consider this for Virginia:

Attachments:

Guillotine.

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

Same

Quick for me...messy for everyone else left behind

I'd have to go with firing squad too....

I say rooftop lightning strike, but not for myself of course.

If I had to go, it'd be firing squad while standing up. Go out with some pride and all. I would say lethal injection, because I've seen how painless that sort of method is when putting an animal to sleep, however, it's not quite exactly the same thing, and I've heard of some horror stories regarding the negligent application of it during condemned executions.

==================================================================================================
"And if any women or children get their legs torn off, or faces caved in, well, it's tough shit for them." -2LT. Bert Stiles, 505th, 339th (On Berlin Bombardier Mission, 1944).

I say NO method.

.

==================================================================================
"Why don't you LOSERS just pack your flower print DOUCHE BAGS
and get your stoopid @$$#$ THE FUCK OFF MY INTERNETZ!"

- 'philscamms' (the YT Watchdog) ; internet & YouTube® extraordinaire.

Fucked to death by Heidi Montag and Amanda Bynes.

­



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/25/2014 02:50PM by chuckhoffmann.

chuckhoffmann Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Long drop hanging.

> I would go all Christian Bale in "The Mechanic"
> and get really skinny, then pork up like crazy as
> my date for a Duncan Yo-Yo impression came up.

> Hopefully, they'll misjudge the drop and my head
> will pop off like a champagne cork when I hit the
> nadir of my bungee-jump to Hell.(This happened,
> quite frequently and distressingly, when hanging
> was still an option in this country.)

> It would be quick, relatively painless, and funny,
> if you have the right sense of humor.


ROTFLMBO @ the part where your head pops off.

nuclear explosion via Tsar Bomba at the south pole. ;)

note: if there is now a higher yield nuclear weapon, i'll trade up.


"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/24/2010 05:08AM by Gravis.

WingNut Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Old age or have to fuck until my heart gives out.
>
> In reality,I'd probably choose the lethal
> injection, because it looks quiet,dignified and
> painless- very unlike what I think most killers
> deserve.


you must not get any

­



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/25/2014 02:50PM by chuckhoffmann.

The two best ways to die:

1. high calibre bullet to the brain.
2. Lethal injection

I strongly believe in the death penalty, but I do not believe in torture. Some would argue the former equates to the latter but I disagree especially if you kill swiftly. I do not believe if a person has taken lives of others (especially in an egregious fashion) they should have the right to live in prison forever more. It just doesn't strike me as equal justice. Though even taking the life of that criminal still isn't equal justice but it's as close as we can get.

I would like to be strapped to a 200 megaton nuclear warhead and fired at Iran, Pakistan or any other rogue nation that harbors terrorists. It would be my honor to take the blame for such carnage.

I would like to be hanged.



For once in my life I would like to be hung

---------------------------------------------------
W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo

WingNut Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> In reality,I'd probably choose the lethal
> injection, because it looks quiet,dignified and
> painless- very unlike what I think most killers
> deserve.


Um yeah, one would think. But your muscles become useless and other things happen and you become completely immobile. And while you make look like you are passing away peacefully, the pain and discomfort you will experience is indescribable other than to say PURE HELL. Very very very excruciating and inhumane. And then when you are dieing the horrible death and in complete agony and cant express your pain by even frowning, you will hear someone say "he is going so peacefully". Talk about adding insult to injury!

The way we euthanize dogs and cats is much more humane than the way we euthanize people...


In most states three chemicals are used for lethal injection: Sodium thiopental, pancuronium bromide, and potassium chloride. The first of these is considered an ultra-short-acting bromide which is effective as an anesthesia for just a few minutes. The second, pancuronium bromide, marketed as Pavulon, paralyzes the skeletal muscles without affecting the nerves or brain. The individual injected with Pavulon is conscious without being able to move or speak, thus giving the impression of serenity or tranquility. In the state of Tennessee, it is a crime for veterinarians to use this drug in euthanizing pets. The final injection, potassium chloride, stops the heart while causing excruciating pain. The effect of this “cocktail,†according to testimony by Dr. Mark J.S. Heath who teaches anesthesiology at Columbia, is “that the sodium thiopental can be inadequate or wear offâ€â€¦leaving “the prisoner conscious, paralyzed, suffocating and subject to extreme pain from the potassium chloride†(Liptak, NYT, 10/7/2003).
According to Judge Ellen Hobbs Lyle, “The subject gives all the appearances of a serene expiration when actually the subject is feeling and perceiving the excruciatingly painful ordeal of death by lethal injection…the Pavulon gives a false impression of serenity to viewers, making punishment by death more palatable and acceptable to society†(Liptak, NYT, 10/7/2003).



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/24/2010 01:00PM by Radiophile.

Radiophile Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WingNut Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> >
> >
> > In reality,I'd probably choose the lethal
> > injection, because it looks quiet,dignified and
> > painless- very unlike what I think most killers
> > deserve.
>
>
> Um yeah, one would think. But your muscles become
> useless and other things happen and you become
> completely immobile. And while you make look like
> you are passing away peacefully, the pain and
> discomfort you will experience is indescribable
> other than to say PURE HELL. Very very very
> excruciating and inhumane. And then when you are
> dieing the horrible death and in complete agony
> and cant express your pain by even frowning, you
> will hear someone say "he is going so peacefully".
> Talk about adding insult to injury!
>
> The way we euthanize dogs and cats is much more
> humane than the way we euthanize people.


How the hell would you know that??

Have you been in the mind of someone dying by lethal injection??

SRSLY Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Radiophile Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
>
>
> How the hell would you know that??
>
> Have you been in the mind of someone dying by
> lethal injection??

Do your own research on the matter or just trust me on this.

Radiophile Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> SRSLY Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Radiophile Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> >
> > How the hell would you know that??
> >
> > Have you been in the mind of someone dying by
> > lethal injection??
>
> Do your own research on the matter or just trust
> me on this.


Well it certainly helps that you edited your post with facts.

Yeah, they way they euthanize animals is a hell of a lot faster than they way they typically do it towards condemned people. I watched a pet being put to sleep before, and they were gone before the syringe had even been fully depressed. It lasted about two seconds. I'm not sure why they can't do the same thing for people (Granted, a condemned killer receiving punishment isn't the same sort of scenario as putting a loved one out of his/her misery).

==================================================================================================
"And if any women or children get their legs torn off, or faces caved in, well, it's tough shit for them." -2LT. Bert Stiles, 505th, 339th (On Berlin Bombardier Mission, 1944).

One of these, I'm thinking:



or:

I want death by Halle Berry

Anyone remember "Death by Oomgowah"??

idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam



Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.

Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM

NicoleH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> Well it certainly helps that you edited your post
> with facts.

Yeah if other people used facts, the world would be a better place.

I follow Mohammed, therefore I must choose death by 72 virgins or one Karissa Shannon.

WingNut Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anyone remember "Death by Oomgowah"??


maybe... but you have to spell it properly first.


"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."

Radiophile Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> SRSLY Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Radiophile Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> >
> > How the hell would you know that??
> >
> > Have you been in the mind of someone dying by
> > lethal injection??
>
> Do your own research on the matter or just trust
> me on this.

Sorry I don't trust you. This is the same shit that the ADP tried before the Supreme Court 2 years ago. It went nowhere.

itchy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I would like to be strapped to a 200 megaton
> nuclear warhead and fired at Iran, Pakistan or any
> other rogue nation that harbors terrorists. It
> would be my honor to take the blame for such
> carnage.
Attachments:

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------



Ha ha! Awesome!

Mephisto would choose BALLS DOWN THROAT-suffocation.


.

==================================================================================
"Why don't you LOSERS just pack your flower print DOUCHE BAGS
and get your stoopid @$$#$ THE FUCK OFF MY INTERNETZ!"

- 'philscamms' (the YT Watchdog) ; internet & YouTube® extraordinaire.

Troll@AOL Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mephisto would choose BALLS DOWN
> THROAT-suffocation.





These constant images you create of Mephisto on your balls is very disturbing. I'm guessing you're trying to cleanse yourself of your closet homosexual urges by casting it onto others.

Yeah right, FAGGOT.

Get off my SALTY UNWASHED BALLS you MAN-LOVER.

Don't you have some dicks to be sucking right about now?

What's the matter? Run out of pills to take eeshy-poo?

That's okay, you can still have fun with a glow stick.

Just fasten a string to the end and see if you or Mephisto

can shove it farther up the other guys asshole.

You guys are sure to enjoy this game.

==================================================================================
"Why don't you LOSERS just pack your flower print DOUCHE BAGS
and get your stoopid @$$#$ THE FUCK OFF MY INTERNETZ!"

- 'philscamms' (the YT Watchdog) ; internet & YouTube® extraordinaire.

chuckhoffmann Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sally Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > ROTFLMBO @ the part where your head pops off.
>
> I told you it was a funny way to die, if you look
> at it the right way,
>
> The only thing that concerns me is were you
> laughing at the mental image of my head comically
> popping off, or the thought of my violent, grisly,
> sudden death?

LOL. I was laughing at your head popping off, flying through the air and then bouncing along on the ground for a while.

But, yeah, maybe I was also laughing at your death. I laugh at death all the time. I think death is hysterical.

You should see me at funerals! At the wake people are walking up to the body and acting so serious and sad. I just walk up and say, hey there, you should see the stupid looking clothes they stuck on you. You look like a giant fag it. And, I always bring along a pair of these funny looking joke glasses. They have lights that blink on and off and they also play the song, "Another one bites the dust". When no one is looking I stick them on the dead guy.

It totally cracks me up, especially when some of the unfun people act shocked and horrified. I mean, OMG what is wrong with people today?

wow Sally I thought the machete was a little over the top. Let me take you on a date to the burn ward at Fairfax INOVA

chachabob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> wow Sally I thought the machete was a little over
> the top. Let me take you on a date to the burn
> ward at Fairfax INOVA

That would be a big LOL. And, then I'd like to stop by the amputee ward for a chuckle.

chachabob Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> wow Sally I thought the machete was a little over
> the top. Let me take you on a date to the burn
> ward at Fairfax INOVA

Sorry, chachabob, Sally is with me... If you want to bring a significant other along, we could make it a double date...


Sally Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That would be a big LOL. And, then I'd like to
> stop by the amputee ward for a chuckle.

What's going on, Sally? First, it's your weekly trips to the dentist... Now you are asking chachabob to accompany you to where we had our first date!?

I think we need to have a talk.... in private...

Signatures are for fags

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> What's going on, Sally? First, it's your weekly
> trips to the dentist... Now you are asking
> chachabob to accompany you to where we had our
> first date!?
>
> I think we need to have a talk.... in private...


OMG!! Harry, that dentist wasn’t a dentist and he was doing more than numbing my teeth, if you know what I mean!!

I’m selling my story to the inquirer for big bucks and guess what? The "dentist" was a poster from the Fairfaxunderground.com. A Mr. Misery wearing a white coat.

Oh and about chachabob and me yucking it up in the burn unit... LOL, I thought that was you, Harry, using an alias. Who else would know where to take me?

Remember when we turned off that guy’s IV? Now, that was funny!!

I'm ready for our private talk, Harry. Is chachabob going to be there? You are a naughty boy, aren't you!!!

fuck that!

pear of anguish? Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> fuck that!


What sick fuck thought of that?

16 ton weights dropped on all political groups, military, DoD contractors, foreign policy think tanks, news media, universities. start over.

For those among us who have not heard the word of George:

The same way we made up the death penalty. We made them both up, Sanctity of life and the death penalty. Aren't we versatile? And you know, in this country, now there are alot of people who want to expand the death penalty to include drug dealers. This is really stupid. Drug dealers aren't afraid to die. They're already killing each other every day on the streets by the hundreds. Drive-bys, gang shootings, they're not afraid to die. Death penalty doesn't mean anything unless you use it on people who are afraid to die. Like... the bankers whoTPmTF launder the drug money. The bankers, who launder, the drug money. Forget the dealers, you want to slow down that drug traffic, you got to start executing a few of these fucking bankers. White, middle class Republican bankers.
And I'm not talking about soft, American executions, like lethal injection. I'm talking about fucking crucifixion folks! Let's bring back crucifixions. A form of capital punishment the Christians and Jews of America can really appreciate. And I'd go a little further, I'd crucify people upside-down. Like Saint Peter, feet up, head down. And naked. I'd have naked upside-down crucifixions on TV once a week at halftime on the Monday Night Football game! Halftime! Monday Night! The Monday Night Crucifixions! You'd have people tuning in, don't even care about Football! Wouldn't you like to hear Dan Dierdorf explain why the nails have to go in at a certain angle? And I'll guarantee you one thing. You start execut- you start nailing one white banker per week to a big wooden cross, you're going to see that drug traffic begin to slow down pretty fucking quick. Pretty fucking quick- you won't even be able to buy drugs in schools and prisons anymore!
Now, I don't care about capital punishment one way or another 'cuz I know it dosn't do anything. It doesn't do anything, 'cept maybe satisfy a kind of Biblical need for revenge. You know, if you read The Bible, you see that it's full of retrebution and revenge. So really, capital punishment is kind of a religious ritual. It's a purification right. It's a modern sacrament. And as long as that's true, I say, let's liven it up a little! I honestly believe that if you make the death penalty a little more entertaining and learn to market it correctly, you just might be able to raise enough money to balance the stupid fucking budget!! Balance the stupid fucking budget!!
And don't forget, the polls show the American people want capital punishment, and they want a balanced budget. And I think even in a fake democracy, people ought to get what they want once in a while. Just to feed this illusion that they're really in charge. Let's use capital punishment the same way we use sports and television in this country, to distract people and take their minds off how bad they're being fucked by the upper one percent. Now, unfortunately, unfortunately Monday Night Football doesn't last long enough. What we really need is year-round capital punishment on TV every night with sponsors. Gotta have sponsors. I'm sure as long as we're killing people Marlboro Cigarettes and Dow Chemical would be proud to participate! Proud to participate! Balance the stupid fucking budget!!
And- and let me say this to you my interesting judaeo-christian friends. Not only- not only do I recommend crucifixions, I'd be in favor of bringing back beheadings!! Huh? Beheadings on TV, slow-motion, instant replay? And maybe you could let the heads roll down a little hill. And fall into one of five numbered holes. Let the people at home gamble on which hole the head is going to fall into. And you do it in a stadium so the mob can gamble on it too. Raise a little more money. And if you want to expand the violence a little longer to sell a few more commercials, instead of using an axe, you do the beheadings with a hand saw! Hey, don't bail out on me now, God damnit! The blood is already on our hands, all we're talking about is a matter of degree. You want something a little more delicate, we'll do the beheadings with an olive fork. That would be nice. And it would take a good God damn long time. There's a lot of good things we could be doing.
When's the last time we burned someone at the stake? It's been too long! Here's another form of capital punishment, comes out of a nice, rich, religious tradition. Burning people at the stake. Sponsor: Britchford Charcoal. And you put it on TV on Sunday mornings. The Sunday Morning Evangelical Send Us An Offering Praise Jesus Human Bonfire! You don't think that would get big ratings? In this sick fucking country?! Shit you'd have people skipping church to wstch this stuff! And you take the money they send in and the offerings and you use it to balance the budget.
What about boiling people in oil? Boy those were the days weren't they? You get the oil going real good, you know, a nice high rolling boil. And then slowly, at the end of a rope, you lower the perpatrator headfirst into the boiling oil. Huh? You talk about fun shit! And just to encourage citizen participation, you let the mob in the stadium control the speed of the rope. Good, clean, wholesome family entertainment. The kids'll love it. The kids'll love it. And at the same time they're enjoying themselves, we're teaching then a nice, Christian moral lesson. Boiling people in oil. Sponsor: Crisco! And maybe, maybe instead of boiling all these guys every now and then you could french-fry a couple of them, you know. French-fried felons. Dip a guy in egg batter, just for a goof, you know? Kind of a Tempura thing, huh? Jeffrey Dahmer neverthought of this shit did he?! Jeffrey Dahmer, eat you heart out!! Which is an interesting thought, in and of itself!
Alright, enough nostalgia, what about some modern forms of capital punishment. How about we throw a guy off the World Trade Center and whoever he lands on wins the Publisher's Clearing House? OK something a little more sophisticated, you dip a guy in brown gravy and lock him in a small room with a wolverine who's high on angel dust. There's one guy's not going to be fucking with to many kids at the bus stop for a while. Here's something really nice you could do. You shoot a guy out of a high-speed catapult... right into a brick wall!! Trouble is, it would be over too quick. No good for TV, you know? You'd have to do a whole bunch of guys right in a row. Rapid-fire capital punishment. Fifteen catapults, while you're shooting off one, you're loading up the others. 'Course every now and then you would have to stop to clean off the wall. Cleanliness... right next to Godliness. Alright hi-tech. I sense some of yous are waiting for hi-tech. I got it. You take a small, tactical nuclear weapon... and stick it up a guy's ass! A thermo-nuclear suppository! Preparation H-Bomb! You talk about fallout, huh? Woah! Or, you take the bomb and you stick it just inside that little hole on the end of a guy's dick. Yeah, a bomb, in a dick! When it goes off, the guy wouldn't know whether he was cumming or going!! Ah! Get outta here!! I gotcha! Hey... listen... I got alot of good ideas. Balance the stupid fucking budget.

George, from the corner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> For those among us who have not heard the word of
> George:
>
> The same way we made up the death penalty. We made
> them both up, Sanctity of life and the death
> penalty. Aren't we versatile? And you know, in
> this country, now there are alot of people who
> want to expand the death penalty to include drug
> dealers. This is really stupid. Drug dealers
> aren't afraid to die. They're already killing each
> other every day on the streets by the hundreds.
> Drive-bys, gang shootings, they're not afraid to
> die. Death penalty doesn't mean anything unless
> you use it on people who are afraid to die.
> Like... the bankers whoTPmTF launder the drug
> money. The bankers, who launder, the drug money.
> Forget the dealers, you want to slow down that
> drug traffic, you got to start executing a few of
> these fucking bankers. White, middle class
> Republican bankers.
> And I'm not talking about soft, American
> executions, like lethal injection. I'm talking
> about fucking crucifixion folks! Let's bring back
> crucifixions. A form of capital punishment the
> Christians and Jews of America can really
> appreciate. And I'd go a little further, I'd
> crucify people upside-down. Like Saint Peter, feet
> up, head down. And naked. I'd have naked
> upside-down crucifixions on TV once a week at
> halftime on the Monday Night Football game!
> Halftime! Monday Night! The Monday Night
> Crucifixions! You'd have people tuning in, don't
> even care about Football! Wouldn't you like to
> hear Dan Dierdorf explain why the nails have to go
> in at a certain angle? And I'll guarantee you one
> thing. You start execut- you start nailing one
> white banker per week to a big wooden cross,
> you're going to see that drug traffic begin to
> slow down pretty fucking quick. Pretty fucking
> quick- you won't even be able to buy drugs in
> schools and prisons anymore!
> Now, I don't care about capital punishment one way
> or another 'cuz I know it dosn't do anything. It
> doesn't do anything, 'cept maybe satisfy a kind of
> Biblical need for revenge. You know, if you read
> The Bible, you see that it's full of retrebution
> and revenge. So really, capital punishment is kind
> of a religious ritual. It's a purification right.
> It's a modern sacrament. And as long as that's
> true, I say, let's liven it up a little! I
> honestly believe that if you make the death
> penalty a little more entertaining and learn to
> market it correctly, you just might be able to
> raise enough money to balance the stupid fucking
> budget!! Balance the stupid fucking budget!!
> And don't forget, the polls show the American
> people want capital punishment, and they want a
> balanced budget. And I think even in a fake
> democracy, people ought to get what they want once
> in a while. Just to feed this illusion that
> they're really in charge. Let's use capital
> punishment the same way we use sports and
> television in this country, to distract people and
> take their minds off how bad they're being fucked
> by the upper one percent. Now, unfortunately,
> unfortunately Monday Night Football doesn't last
> long enough. What we really need is year-round
> capital punishment on TV every night with
> sponsors. Gotta have sponsors. I'm sure as long as
> we're killing people Marlboro Cigarettes and Dow
> Chemical would be proud to participate! Proud to
> participate! Balance the stupid fucking budget!!
> And- and let me say this to you my interesting
> judaeo-christian friends. Not only- not only do I
> recommend crucifixions, I'd be in favor of
> bringing back beheadings!! Huh? Beheadings on TV,
> slow-motion, instant replay? And maybe you could
> let the heads roll down a little hill. And fall
> into one of five numbered holes. Let the people at
> home gamble on which hole the head is going to
> fall into. And you do it in a stadium so the mob
> can gamble on it too. Raise a little more money.
> And if you want to expand the violence a little
> longer to sell a few more commercials, instead of
> using an axe, you do the beheadings with a hand
> saw! Hey, don't bail out on me now, God damnit!
> The blood is already on our hands, all we're
> talking about is a matter of degree. You want
> something a little more delicate, we'll do the
> beheadings with an olive fork. That would be nice.
> And it would take a good God damn long time.
> There's a lot of good things we could be doing.
> When's the last time we burned someone at the
> stake? It's been too long! Here's another form of
> capital punishment, comes out of a nice, rich,
> religious tradition. Burning people at the stake.
> Sponsor: Britchford Charcoal. And you put it on TV
> on Sunday mornings. The Sunday Morning Evangelical
> Send Us An Offering Praise Jesus Human Bonfire!
> You don't think that would get big ratings? In
> this sick fucking country?! Shit you'd have people
> skipping church to wstch this stuff! And you take
> the money they send in and the offerings and you
> use it to balance the budget.
> What about boiling people in oil? Boy those were
> the days weren't they? You get the oil going real
> good, you know, a nice high rolling boil. And then
> slowly, at the end of a rope, you lower the
> perpatrator headfirst into the boiling oil. Huh?
> You talk about fun shit! And just to encourage
> citizen participation, you let the mob in the
> stadium control the speed of the rope. Good,
> clean, wholesome family entertainment. The kids'll
> love it. The kids'll love it. And at the same time
> they're enjoying themselves, we're teaching then a
> nice, Christian moral lesson. Boiling people in
> oil. Sponsor: Crisco! And maybe, maybe instead of
> boiling all these guys every now and then you
> could french-fry a couple of them, you know.
> French-fried felons. Dip a guy in egg batter, just
> for a goof, you know? Kind of a Tempura thing,
> huh? Jeffrey Dahmer neverthought of this shit did
> he?! Jeffrey Dahmer, eat you heart out!! Which is
> an interesting thought, in and of itself!
> Alright, enough nostalgia, what about some modern
> forms of capital punishment. How about we throw a
> guy off the World Trade Center and whoever he
> lands on wins the Publisher's Clearing House? OK
> something a little more sophisticated, you dip a
> guy in brown gravy and lock him in a small room
> with a wolverine who's high on angel dust. There's
> one guy's not going to be fucking with to many
> kids at the bus stop for a while. Here's something
> really nice you could do. You shoot a guy out of a
> high-speed catapult... right into a brick wall!!
> Trouble is, it would be over too quick. No good
> for TV, you know? You'd have to do a whole bunch
> of guys right in a row. Rapid-fire capital
> punishment. Fifteen catapults, while you're
> shooting off one, you're loading up the others.
> 'Course every now and then you would have to stop
> to clean off the wall. Cleanliness... right next
> to Godliness. Alright hi-tech. I sense some of
> yous are waiting for hi-tech. I got it. You take a
> small, tactical nuclear weapon... and stick it up
> a guy's ass! A thermo-nuclear suppository!
> Preparation H-Bomb! You talk about fallout, huh?
> Woah! Or, you take the bomb and you stick it just
> inside that little hole on the end of a guy's
> dick. Yeah, a bomb, in a dick! When it goes off,
> the guy wouldn't know whether he was cumming or
> going!! Ah! Get outta here!! I gotcha! Hey...
> listen... I got alot of good ideas. Balance the
> stupid fucking budget.
Attachments:

teal deer Wrote:
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> George, from the corner Wrote:
> -------------------------------------------------------
> > For those among us who have not heard the word of George:
> >

I'm sure you said the same thing about your high school textbooks.

Now go and make some more french fries. They are running low.

Death by exhaustion. Exhaustion from killing as many libtards as possible.

EasyPeasy Wrote:
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> Death by exhaustion. Exhaustion from killing as
> many libtards as possible.


Archived.
Authorities notified to potential mass shooter.

^what a lil bitch