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joke of the day
Posted by: graymoose1 ()
Date: September 09, 2010 09:17AM

Did you here about the skinny guy who went to Alaska for a couple months?





He came back a husky fucker

---------------------------------------------------
W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo

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Re: joke of the day
Date: September 09, 2010 09:20AM

Two gerbils walk by a gay bar. The first gerbil says to the second, "Let's get shit-faced."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Gonads & Strife ()
Date: September 09, 2010 09:23AM

What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?




One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: graymoose1 ()
Date: September 09, 2010 09:27AM

A cannibal saw a friend of his and said " I just passed a white man in the forest a while ago"

---------------------------------------------------
W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Me too ()
Date: September 09, 2010 09:28AM

Waht do you call two lesbians in a canoe?





Fur traders

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: WingNut ()
Date: September 09, 2010 09:28AM

WHy did the Siamese Twins go to England?

Because the one on the right wanted to drive.


idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam



Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.

Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM


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Re: joke of the day
Date: September 09, 2010 09:29AM

A Rabbi, a Priest and a Moose walked into a bar. The bartender said, "What is this? A joke?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: TheMeeper ()
Date: September 09, 2010 09:41AM

A guy walks into a bar. Alcohol is destroying his family.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Gonads & Strife ()
Date: September 09, 2010 09:43AM

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his belt. The bartender asks, "What's that for?" The pirate responds, "Aarrr, its driving me nuts".

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: rule breaker ()
Date: September 09, 2010 09:45AM

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A guy walks into a bar. Alcohol is destroying his
> family.


This joke is:
Attachments:
dada_dadaism_dadaist_tshirt-p235725024842860957t5tr_400.jpg

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: WTL Fail ()
Date: September 09, 2010 09:48AM

How can you tell a feminist from a sumo wrestler?



A sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: WTL Fail ()
Date: September 09, 2010 09:51AM

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?




They named him Sum Ting Wong

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: WTL Fail ()
Date: September 09, 2010 09:53AM

Getting oral sex makes one's day. Getting anal sex makes one's whole week.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: mcsmack ()
Date: September 09, 2010 10:40AM

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A Rabbi, a Priest and a Moose walked into a bar.
> The bartender said, "What is this? A joke?"


This could be a "make me laugh" thread. So far everything sucks donk dick except the Rabbi joke and it is just somewhat amusing. No real belly laughs or lol if you will.

We should punish all the lame joksters by outing them.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Comical Drivel ()
Date: September 09, 2010 10:42AM

What sexual position produces the ugliest children?




Ask Mcsmack's mom.




mcsmack Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > A Rabbi, a Priest and a Moose walked into a
> bar.
> > The bartender said, "What is this? A joke?"
>
>
> This could be a "make me laugh" thread. So far
> everything sucks donk dick except the Rabbi joke
> and it is just somewhat amusing. No real belly
> laughs or lol if you will.
>
> We should punish all the lame joksters by outing
> them.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke of the day
Posted by: WingNut ()
Date: September 09, 2010 10:44AM

Can't bear to be outed so I'll try again-

A guy goes to his psychiatrists office all wrapped up in Scotch tape.
Doctor says "Clearly I can see your nuts"


idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam



Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.

Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM


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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Gonads & Strife ()
Date: September 09, 2010 10:45AM

What's the difference between sand and period blood?







You can't gargle sand.


anything? nothing? fuck...

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: September 09, 2010 10:48AM

What's purple and goes "putt putt putt?"

An outboard grape!

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Fistio ()
Date: September 09, 2010 10:54AM

A woman came home one day and told her husband that she was planning to get her breasts enlarged and that the procedure would cost several thousands of dollars.

The husband walked into the bathroom and returned with some toilet paper in his hands. "Here, use this, it is a lot cheaper," he says.

His wife asks "What am I supposed to do with a handful of toilet paper?"

"Just rub it all over your breasts. You have been rubbing it on your ass for years and look how big it has gotten."

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: ITRADE ()
Date: September 09, 2010 11:00AM

Whats the worst thing about fucking an 8 year old?



Getting the blood off of the clown suit.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: TheMeeper ()
Date: September 09, 2010 11:09AM

What's 20 inches long and makes a woman scream?

Crib death.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Fistio ()
Date: September 09, 2010 11:10AM

Did you hear about the new EJ designer jeans?

The zipper is in the back.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: whatta doosh ()
Date: September 09, 2010 11:14AM

Mcsmack walks into a bar. A gay bar, where everybody knows his name.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: mcsmacky balls against chin ()
Date: September 09, 2010 11:16AM

Mcsmack walks into a gay bar and skips up to a biker clad man that is getting up from the bar.

"Hi, I am mcsmack, may I push your stool in for you?"

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: mcsmack ()
Date: September 09, 2010 11:30AM

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What's 20 inches long and makes a woman scream?
>
> Crib death.

Short and to the point. Also disturbing. 5 on a 1 to 10

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: mcsmack ()
Date: September 09, 2010 11:32AM

whatta doosh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mcsmack walks into a bar. A gay bar, where
> everybody knows his name.

Not bad. Brevity is the soul of wit, even if it is at my expense. Five stars out of ten

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Re: joke of the day
Date: September 09, 2010 11:40AM

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What's 20 inches long and makes a woman scream?
>
> Crib death.


+1

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Ewww ()
Date: September 09, 2010 11:40AM

Gonads & Strife Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What's the difference between sand and period
> blood?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> You can't gargle sand.
>
>
> anything? nothing? fuck...


That's discusting!!!

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: I don't think so ()
Date: September 09, 2010 11:41AM

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> TheMeeper Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > What's 20 inches long and makes a woman scream?
> >
> > Crib death.
>
>
> +1


That's just wrong

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Scotty Faulkner ()
Date: September 09, 2010 11:44AM

mcsmack Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> whatta doosh Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Mcsmack walks into a bar. A gay bar, where
> > everybody knows his name.
>
> Not bad. Brevity is the soul of wit, even if it is
> at my expense. Five stars out of ten


actually, brevity is what they call your penis.

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Re: joke of the day
Date: September 09, 2010 11:45AM

I don't think so Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > TheMeeper Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > What's 20 inches long and makes a woman
> scream?
> > >
> > > Crib death.
> >
> >
> > +1
>
>
> That's just wrong


It's wrong, but it made me laugh.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: TheMeeper ()
Date: September 09, 2010 11:49AM

It's the most tasteless joke I could think of.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: AHAHAHA! ()
Date: September 09, 2010 11:49AM

Scotty Faulkner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> mcsmack Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > whatta doosh Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Mcsmack walks into a bar. A gay bar, where
> > > everybody knows his name.
> >
> > Not bad. Brevity is the soul of wit, even if it
> is
> > at my expense. Five stars out of ten
>
>
> actually, brevity is what they call your penis.


Woot! Woot!

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: mcsmack ()
Date: September 09, 2010 11:50AM

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> TheMeeper Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > What's 20 inches long and makes a woman scream?
> >
> > Crib death.
>
>
> +1


It's kind of a variation of;
What did the poor little blind boy get for Christmas?..........












cancer.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Wahhh ()
Date: September 09, 2010 12:02PM

What is brown and hides in the attic?



The diarrhea of Anne Frank.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/09/2010 12:02PM by Wahhh.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: TheMeeper ()
Date: September 09, 2010 12:06PM

Wahhh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What is brown and hides in the attic?
>
>
>
> The diarrhea of Anne Frank.


That's not funny, my grandfather died in a concentration camp.

He fell out of his guard tower!

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: September 09, 2010 02:15PM

How do lesbians lose weight?



They eat Jenny Craig.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: September 09, 2010 02:31PM

A mob boss employed a deaf/mute accountant. The accountant was responsible for cooking the books, but also found a way to steal money from the mob. The boss noticed a million dollars missing and went to ask his accountant about it, taking a sign language interpreter with him to translate.

The boss confronts the accountant, and says to the interpreter, "Ask him where my million dollars went."

The accountant and interpreter sign back and forth, and the translator says, "He tells me he doesn't know what you're talking about."

The mob boss pulls a handgun, cocks it, and points it at the accountant's face. "Tell him that if he doesn't tell me where my money is in the next sixty seconds, I am going to blow his fucking brains out."

The translator tells the accountant, who frantically signs back, "Ok, I stole the money, and buried it under the big tree next to the three rocks in my back yard. I'm very sorry, please don't kill me."

The mob boss says, "Well? What did he say?"

The interpreter tells the mob boss, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: September 09, 2010 02:36PM

One day a woman walked into a sex shop. The cashier asked if she needed help, to which she replied "yes, i would like the best dildo you have." The cashier shows her a MAGIC dildo, all you needed to do was say "Magic Dildo, _______" and fill in the blank with whatever you wanted the dildo to fuck, and it will fuck it by itself.

The woman returns home with her new merchandise eager to try it out. She goes up to her room with the dildo and says "magic dildo, my vagina!" Afterwards, however, she realizes there is a small problem. How do you get the magic dildo to stop?? The woman panics and gets into her car and speeds over to the sex shop hoping to catch the cashier again before the store closes. Unfortunately, on the way over she is pulled over by a police officer.

"what's the big rush?" The policeman asks. The woman then continues to tell the police officer the story of her strange day, to which the skeptic replies "Ha! Magic dildo my ass!"

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Alias ()
Date: September 09, 2010 02:50PM

The Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane. He turned to her and said, "Let's talk."

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the Obama, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the Obama. "How about what changes I should make to America?"

"OK," she says. "But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

Obama, thinks about it for a second and finally says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don't know shit?"

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: TheMeeper ()
Date: September 09, 2010 02:50PM

MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> A mob boss


Did you hear the one about the Chinese Godfather?

He made them an offer they couldn't understand.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: September 09, 2010 03:03PM

Alias Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The Obama was seated next to a little girl on an
> airplane.

The joke forfeited all funny around this part.

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Alias ()
Date: September 09, 2010 10:00PM

MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Alias Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > The Obama was seated next to a little girl on
> an
> > airplane.
>
> The joke forfeited all funny around this part.


Ok..... how about this one:


John McCain, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama all die and go to heaven. God looks down from his throne and asks McCain, "Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?"

McCain takes a breath and then replies, "Well, I think so because I was a great leader and tried to follow the words in your great book." God looks down and then says, "You can sit to my left side."

God asks the same question to Hillary, "Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?" Hillary thinks for a second and then replies, "I think so because I have been fighting for the rights of so many people for so long." God again looks down and this time says, "You can sit to my right side."

Finally God turns to Obama and asks, "Do you think you deserve to be in heaven?"

Obama smiled and replied, "I think you're in my seat."

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: NicoleH ()
Date: September 09, 2010 10:03PM

haha...Good one Alias

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: September 09, 2010 10:11PM

Alias Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ok..... how about this one:
>
>
> John McCain, Hillary Clinton, and Barack Obama

Nope. Forfeit.

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: mo ()
Date: September 09, 2010 10:24PM

when obama looked up his family tree a baboon crapped on his head

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: ThePackLeader ()
Date: September 09, 2010 10:28PM

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. The young bartender ends up being molested, dickless, and stoned to death, all before the drinks are served.

==================================================================================================
"And if any women or children get their legs torn off, or faces caved in, well, it's tough shit for them." -2LT. Bert Stiles, 505th, 339th (On Berlin Bombardier Mission, 1944).

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: mcsmack ()
Date: September 09, 2010 10:56PM

A gay guy walked into a bar and the bartender said, "let this thread die"

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: tomahawk ()
Date: September 09, 2010 11:10PM

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and an Olympic silver medalist?

They both came in a little behind.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: September 09, 2010 11:13PM

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in 1 trash can?






Finding 1 dead baby in 7 trash cans.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: tomahawk ()
Date: September 10, 2010 12:03AM

Why did the baby cross the road?






It was stapled to the chicken.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: graymoose1 ()
Date: September 10, 2010 12:19AM

whats blue and sits in the corner?



A baby in a plastic bag.

---------------------------------------------------
W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: September 10, 2010 12:29AM

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?







To get to the other side!

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: graymoose1 ()
Date: September 10, 2010 12:38AM

Mrs. Miller can Tommy come out and play?

" you know full well that Tommy doesn't have any arms and legs"

We know, we need to use him for third base

---------------------------------------------------
W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/10/2010 12:38AM by graymoose1.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: tomahawk ()
Date: September 10, 2010 01:27AM

Why can't Hellen Keller drive a car?





Because she's a woman.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Troll@AOL ()
Date: September 10, 2010 01:36AM

Change name to gaymoose1.


.

==================================================================================
"Why don't you LOSERS just pack your flower print DOUCHE BAGS
and get your stoopid @$$#$ THE FUCK OFF MY INTERNETZ!"

- 'philscamms' (the YT Watchdog) ; internet & YouTube® extraordinaire.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Troll@AOL ()
Date: September 10, 2010 01:39AM

Why can't MY BALLS scratch themselves?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because they've got NO arms!
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

.

==================================================================================
"Why don't you LOSERS just pack your flower print DOUCHE BAGS
and get your stoopid @$$#$ THE FUCK OFF MY INTERNETZ!"

- 'philscamms' (the YT Watchdog) ; internet & YouTube® extraordinaire.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: September 10, 2010 04:02AM

-
Attachments:
BabyBlender.gif

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: TheMeeper ()
Date: September 10, 2010 05:26AM

A boss is hiring a new secretary and is having a hard time making a decision because all 3 candidates are very qualified. So, he decides to call them back in for a second interview and give them a secret 'test'. He will test their trustworthiness by secretly slipping $1,000 into their purses to see how they react.

The first woman, Mary, comes back a few hours later and returns the money, admitting their must have been some kind of mistake. The boss is very impressed with Mary's honesty.

The second woman, Sally, comes back a day later and tells the boss she found $1,000 in her purse, so she donated it to a local orphanage. He's very moved by her sense of charity.

The third woman, Louise, returns a few days later and tells the boss she invested the money in a hot stock, doubled it, and hands the boss $2,000. He is amazed by her business sense.

So, which woman does he hire?



Answer:

The one with the biggest tits!

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: mcsmack ()
Date: September 10, 2010 10:28AM

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?















30... One to hold on to the bulb and 29 to drink until the room starts spinning.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Tim45 ()
Date: September 10, 2010 10:37AM

Three women apply for an admin job at a major company.

The first has an associates degree in business. She plans on making this job her career. She is married with two children.

The second has a bachelors degree, single and wants to stay with the company but move up the ladder.

The third has a masters and wants to someday run the company.

Which one gets the job?

The one with the big tits.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Tim45 ()
Date: September 10, 2010 10:48AM

sorry Meeper I was too lazy to read the many posts.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Withnf ()
Date: September 10, 2010 11:10AM

A guy goes out into the woods to hunt bears. He sees one and gets himself ready then shoots off 4 or 5 shots thinking surely he got the bear. He looks...no bear. Standing there confused he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns and it's the bear. The bear says, "You know you really pissed me off shooting at me like that. You have two choices. You can bend over that log or I can kill you and eat you." Not wanting to die, he bends over the log and bear proceeds to rape him in the ass.
Pissed off and wanting revenge on the bear, he comes back the next day with a bigger gun. He sees the bear and shoots at him again. When the smoke clears...no bear. He feels the tap on the shoulder and gets the same two choices. He bends over the log and the bear takes his ass again.
The following day he goes back out there with the biggest gun he could find. He sees the bear and shoots again. The bear taps him on the shoulder and says, "You don't come out here to hunt do you boy?"

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­
Posted by: chuckhoffmann ()
Date: September 10, 2010 11:32AM

­



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 08/04/2013 05:05PM by chuckhoffmann.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Sally ()
Date: September 10, 2010 12:41PM

TheMeeper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A boss is hiring a new secretary and is having a
> hard time making a decision because all 3
> candidates are very qualified. So, he decides to
> call them back in for a second interview and give
> them a secret 'test'. He will test their
> trustworthiness by secretly slipping $1,000 into
> their purses to see how they react.
>
> The first woman, Mary, comes back a few hours
> later and returns the money, admitting their must
> have been some kind of mistake. The boss is very
> impressed with Mary's honesty.
>
> The second woman, Sally, comes back a day later
> and tells the boss she found $1,000 in her purse,
> so she donated it to a local orphanage. He's very
> moved by her sense of charity.
>
> The third woman, Louise, returns a few days later
> and tells the boss she invested the money in a hot
> stock, doubled it, and hands the boss $2,000. He
> is amazed by her business sense.
>
> So, which woman does he hire?
>
>
> Answer:
>
> The one with the biggest tits!

That would be Sally.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke of the day
Posted by: pas'ion ()
Date: September 10, 2010 01:26PM

Pues mi mujer me ha dejado.
Jo, tío, lo siento, tiene que ser bien duro que te deje tu mujer.
¿Duro? ¡Fue casi imposible!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Harry Tuttle ()
Date: September 10, 2010 03:59PM

jajajajajajaja!

Por eso te dejó!

jajajajaja!

pas'ion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Pues mi mujer me ha dejado.
> Jo, tío, lo siento, tiene que ser bien duro que
> te deje tu mujer.
> ¿Duro? ¡Fue casi imposible!

Signatures are for fags

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: graymoose1 ()
Date: September 10, 2010 04:05PM

A termite walks into a tavern and asks "hey wheres the bar tender"



What do you get when you cross a elephant and a rhino??


elephino


Why did the man go fishing??




for the halibut

---------------------------------------------------
W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/10/2010 04:08PM by graymoose1.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: TheMeeper ()
Date: September 10, 2010 04:08PM

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine-tools.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: tomahawk ()
Date: September 15, 2010 11:13PM

I locked my keys in my car outside of an abortion clinic the other night. It turns out they get really pissed when you go in and ask them for a coat hanger.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: tomahawk ()
Date: September 15, 2010 11:13PM

Two homeless men are standing around bragging about their day. The First hobo says "Today i found $20, and was able to buy a nice hot meal. It was my luckiest day ever!".

to which the second hobo replies: "oh yeah, my day was way better! I was at the train yard, and found a woman tied to the train tracks. After I untied her, we fucked all day"

"Did you get a blow job?"

"Naw, I couldnt find her head"

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: tomahawk ()
Date: September 15, 2010 11:13PM

One more...

A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young daughter's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect." To which, her daughter replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: graymoose1 ()
Date: September 16, 2010 08:19PM

What do you call a hollowed out hot dog?







A hollow-weenie

---------------------------------------------------
W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: bloody blisters ()
Date: September 16, 2010 08:34PM

graymoose1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What do you call a hollowed out hot dog?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> A hollow-weenie


(*puts gun to head then pulls the trigger*)

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­
Posted by: chuckhoffmann ()
Date: September 16, 2010 08:37PM

­



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 05/25/2014 02:35PM by chuckhoffmann.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: graymoose1 ()
Date: September 16, 2010 09:10PM

Why do farts stink??





So deaf people can enjoy them to

---------------------------------------------------
W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: tomahawk ()
Date: September 16, 2010 09:25PM

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for christmas?











Cancer.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Durr? ()
Date: September 16, 2010 09:32PM

tomahawk Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for
> christmas?
>
>
>
>Pay attention man
Mcsmack already did that one on the 9th
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Cancer.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: bloody blisters ()
Date: September 16, 2010 09:33PM

why do asians hate surprise parties?

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: tomahawk ()
Date: September 16, 2010 09:34PM

Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is lying in bed reading. Man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache." Wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep." Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Worst joke ever ()
Date: September 16, 2010 09:44PM

Q: What do you get when you stick a knife into a four year old?



A: An erection.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: September 16, 2010 09:46PM

How can you tell when your wife is dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Durr? ()
Date: September 16, 2010 09:46PM

bloody blisters Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> why do asians hate surprise parties?


Why?

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: bloody blisters ()
Date: September 16, 2010 09:55PM

Durr? Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> bloody blisters Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > why do asians hate surprise parties?
>
>
> Why?


no i really wanted to know. i had an.... a.... an a... asian friend and we all gathered to throw him a surprise party. once he got there he got so pissed off he stormed out of the room. i've never seen or talked to him since. so i was wondering if it was like a cultural taboo to throw asians surprise parties.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: leroy johnson ()
Date: September 18, 2010 02:16PM

Do you know how they celebrate haloween in west virginia?








they Pump Kin.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: hoocoodanode ()
Date: September 18, 2010 02:54PM

A Mexican man, a Chinese man, and a blonde woman all worked on top floor of a large building. Every day at lunch, they ate on the roof.

The Mexican had tacos for lunch everyday. He said, "I don't like tacos, and if I get them again, I'll jump to my death!" The next day he opened his lunch and saw tacos, so he jumped to his death.

The Chinese man had rice for lunch everyday. He said, "I don't like rice, and if I get it again, I'll jump to my death!" The next day he opened his lunch and saw rice, so he jumped to his death.

The blonde woman had a turkey sandwich for lunch everyday. She said, "I don't like turkey, and if I get it again, I'll jump to my death!" The next day, she opened her lunch and saw a turkey sandwich, so she jumped to her death.

A funeral service was held for all three. The Mexican's wife cried out, "If only he would have told me he didn't like tacos!" The Chinese man's wife cried out, "If only he would have said something, I wouldn't have put rice in his lunch!"

Then everyone turned to look at the blonde's husband. He said, "Don't look at me. She packed her own lunch!"

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Troll@AOL ()
Date: September 18, 2010 03:07PM

Lemme guess, the blonde's husband was a lazy minority.
She must have gotten tired of being his trophy wife.


.

==================================================================================
"Why don't you LOSERS just pack your flower print DOUCHE BAGS
and get your stoopid @$$#$ THE FUCK OFF MY INTERNETZ!"

- 'philscamms' (the YT Watchdog) ; internet & YouTube® extraordinaire.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: September 18, 2010 08:16PM

Troll@AOL Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Lemme guess, the blonde's husband was a lazy
> minority.
> She must have gotten tired of being his trophy
> wife.
>
>
> .

No, see, the joke's funny because the blond is about as retarded as you are.

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: tomahawk ()
Date: September 19, 2010 02:40PM

Troll@AOL Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Lemme guess, the blonde's husband was a lazy
> minority.
> She must have gotten tired of being his trophy
> wife.
>

Fail.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: UM? ()
Date: September 19, 2010 03:00PM

Troll@AOL Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Lemme guess, the blonde's husband was a lazy
> minority.
> She must have gotten tired of being his trophy
> wife.
>
>
> .


Wut?

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: graymoose1 ()
Date: September 19, 2010 09:53PM

a blond goes to the bank with a bag of change, the teller asks "did you hoard this money yourself ? " The blond said " no, my sister helped me whore half of it "

---------------------------------------------------
W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo

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Re: joke of the day
Date: September 20, 2010 09:41AM

'Mephisto' + 'tomahawk' + 'UM' = SAME GAY PERSON = Failure @ life


Just because your GAY, does noy mean your 'cool', just means your GAY.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Harry Tuttle ()
Date: September 20, 2010 06:48PM

Did you realize you were posting this in the joke thread?

Just Say No To DICK 8---------> Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 'Mephisto' + 'tomahawk' + 'UM' = SAME GAY PERSON
> = Failure @ life
>
>
> Just because your GAY, does noy mean your 'cool',
> just means your GAY.

Signatures are for fags

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: UM? ()
Date: September 20, 2010 08:08PM

Just Say No To DICK 8---------> Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 'Mephisto' + 'tomahawk' + 'UM' = SAME GAY PERSON
> = Failure @ life
>
>
> Just because your GAY, does noy mean your 'cool',
> just means your GAY.


Know what we've all decided here about homophobes?......

the more you say you hate'em , the more you probably are one.

YUP..Sorry Bubba

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: tomahawk ()
Date: September 20, 2010 10:37PM

Speaking of which...

A man decides to get away from it all so he moves to the wilds of Alaska. A few days after settling in his neighbor comes by, a man who lives a ways up the road. The two of them start talking over a beer, and the neighbor says, "Hey, what do you say we throw a party over at my place tomorrow night? I throw them whenever I get the chance. We can have lots of whiskey and weed and wild drunken monkey sex, my parties have more sex then Hugh Heffner's!"

The new guy says, "Okay, should I make a big dinner or just order a dozen pizzas or what?"

The neighbor replies, "I don't know what for, it's just gonna be the two of us."

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Troll@AOL ()
Date: September 21, 2010 12:40AM

Idiot wrote:
> "Know what we've all decided here about homophobes?......
> the more you say you hate'em , the more you probably are one.

SAID LIKE A TRUE FAGGOT.

Yeah and when heterosexuals say they would never suck
another mans cock, or let another man insert his penis
into their filthy asshole, that's just the straight mans
way of saying he wants to swallow a dick load of jism
after getting a real hard assfucking. Makes sense.

Also you call people who speak out against faggots
'homophobes', but YOU are the 'homophobe' because you're
a scared chickenshit queer that thinks you need the
cards stacked in your favor with special laws and rights
to protect you and your perverted interests.

A better word would be homodislikeic.


.

==================================================================================
"Why don't you LOSERS just pack your flower print DOUCHE BAGS
and get your stoopid @$$#$ THE FUCK OFF MY INTERNETZ!"

- 'philscamms' (the YT Watchdog) ; internet & YouTube® extraordinaire.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/21/2010 12:42AM by Troll@AOL.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Troll@AOL ()
Date: September 21, 2010 02:29AM

This will be FU's new Australian correspondant.
And no ladies, he's NOT gay!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAw-p0-62co


.

==================================================================================
"Why don't you LOSERS just pack your flower print DOUCHE BAGS
and get your stoopid @$$#$ THE FUCK OFF MY INTERNETZ!"

- 'philscamms' (the YT Watchdog) ; internet & YouTube® extraordinaire.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: joke of the day
Posted by: Powerful_Lobster ()
Date: September 21, 2010 02:36PM

Whats worse than a baby stabled to a tree?






A baby stabled to a dozen trees.



--------------------


A man starts to walk down a path in a forest and sees a snake on the ground. He picks it up after inspecting it and finding out it was dead from a human stomping.

HE wrapped it around his neck to show to his kids at home for a nature lesson on snakes.

After walking down the path for a couple minutes he finds a dead rabbit on the ground. The rabbit died of blunt trauma to the head. After picking it up he hangs it on his belt to show to his kids as well.

Finally, after the walk he cuts through a short cut in the woods to get home and finds a dead stag in front of him dying slowly from a stick protruding out of its eye. He quickly picks up a rock and smashes his head in.

Afer that he decided to bring it home for dinner dragging it by its antlers on his nylon jacket.

Once he got home, his 2 children ran out and asked why they he had brought home the dead animals. Seeing that both of them were so excited about his finds, he quickly tells them, I like muffin tops.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: September 21, 2010 03:36PM

Powerful_Lobster Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A man starts to walk down a path in a forest and
> sees a snake on the ground. He picks it up after
> inspecting it and finding out it was dead from a
> human stomping.
>
> HE wrapped it around his neck to show to his kids
> at home for a nature lesson on snakes.
>
> After walking down the path for a couple minutes
> he finds a dead rabbit on the ground. The rabbit
> died of blunt trauma to the head. After picking it
> up he hangs it on his belt to show to his kids as
> well.
>
> Finally, after the walk he cuts through a short
> cut in the woods to get home and finds a dead stag
> in front of him dying slowly from a stick
> protruding out of its eye. He quickly picks up a
> rock and smashes his head in.
>
> Afer that he decided to bring it home for dinner
> dragging it by its antlers on his nylon jacket.
>
> Once he got home, his 2 children ran out and asked
> why they he had brought home the dead animals.
> Seeing that both of them were so excited about his
> finds, he quickly tells them, I like muffin tops.

What?

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

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Re: joke of the day
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: September 21, 2010 04:27PM

Lame pick up lines:




Baby I am like milk, I will do your body good.

Are you a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you.

Will you be my love buffet so I can lay you out on a table and take anything I want?

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

Ever slept in a $10000 bed? Want to?

Excuse me, do I need to buy a ticket for your fantastic voyage?

Do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

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