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Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: GaIIagher Smash ()
Date: November 19, 2022 06:20AM

An Open Letter to Aimee Gallagher, daughter of comedian Gallagher

Dear Aimee,

I apologize for communicating with you unbidden. The death of your father, a national treasure, has truly devastated me. I am compelled to write you to share what he has meant to me over the years. While my loss is minuscule compared to yours, I feel a bit of commiseration might help us both in these dark days.

I fell in love with Gallagher while watching some of his early specials on Showtime. I’d sit next to my mom, and we would laugh ourselves crazy. What a guy: he had the well-reasoned arguments of ancient Greek philosopher; the knowing, dense patter, mustache, and quickness of wit of a young Groucho Marx; the athleticism of an Olympian; and the musical chops of a Beatle. Heady and inspirational for young man!

I was hooked. I wore Gallagher merchandise to school and spoke endlessly to my friends about him. I was too young to attend some of his shows when he was at the height of his powers but collected all his output that I could. When I was old enough to have some independence from my parents, I was essentially the Gallagherian equivalent of a Dead Head – following him from venue to venue while living in my car.

He often stood around outside before the shows. I desperately wanted to talk to him - and he must have realized I was a dedicated devotee – but I was too scared to engage beyond a feeble nod. How do you talk to God?

As the years went by, I had two children, Leona Melon and John Gallagher. Both named after my hero Leo Gallagher. Regrettably I am no longer allowed to contact them, but they are a living embodiment of my love for the late Mr. Gallagher.

I became very angry in the 1990s, as it seemed undeservingly Gallagher’s star was fading. His output was as solid as ever, yet the public began treating him with more and more aloofness. I blame the rise of the Internet, and the band Oasis. I am working on a research paper on this topic. In summary, I think people who searched for Gallagher on the early Internet were misdirected to results about the Gallagher brothers (glorified soccer hooligans and general hacks) of Oasis. It is no coincidence to me that the rise of Oasis’ popularity and the ebb of Gallaghers are inversely correlated. They rise to superstardom was fueled by Gallagher’s store of talent. Big Music is hard to fight, and had they not had their foot on the scales of search results, he would have remained large in the public consciousness.

I was able to retire early as a very wealthy man. I’ve now dedicated my life unreservedly to Gallagher and am trying to spread the “good news” however I can in whatever forum I can find. I plan to open a Gallagher Comedy Museum and Institute in Florida in the coming years. Part of it will be museum and tribute: paraphernalia, artifacts from his career, and multiple theaters where his specials will be screened around the clock. The rest will be a “reading room” style library where scholars and dedicated students can study his work and technique. I can provide you with more information about my endeavors, and would welcome the imprimatur your support of them would provide.

In conclusion, Gallagher has changed my life for the better. The world lost a legend, a hero, and a comedic genius. The world will never be the same. The least I can do to repay him is to create a vehicle, such as this institute, to share his comedy and sagacity with others. Hopefully in time, he will be given the kudos and respect he so deserved but never found in his later years.

With great love and affection,

Redacted

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: Harden My Heart ()
Date: November 19, 2022 09:50PM

I am trying to get a Quarterflash music institute and research park set up in town. Hahaha

you are a fucking idiot and you know what they say, a Gallagher fan and his money are soon parted Prop comics have always sucked anyway

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: the bright side ()
Date: November 19, 2022 10:23PM

Gallagher was a big loss, but thank God we still have Meade.

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: gallagher's little fat brother ()
Date: November 19, 2022 10:32PM

Gal's brother will no doubt continue with the whole gallagher schtick. Last thing Gallagher ever wanted was for his brother to rip off his act; but apparently that will no doubt happen. If you lack talent in Showbiz borrow a successful act.

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: Meade Fan #5 ()
Date: November 19, 2022 10:46PM

Meade will step right into the void. This is an opportune moment for Meade to fulfill his destiny.

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: Livestream Tonight ()
Date: November 20, 2022 05:34PM

Someone should ask Meade to dedicate a song to Gallagher tonight on his livestream. Meade will do anything for his fans

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: SuperFan In Training? ()
Date: November 21, 2022 02:43AM

What time is his stream and where can I watch it?

Love to hear his take on Gallagher's death.

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: Poet ()
Date: November 22, 2022 09:58AM

This one is for Gallagher.
[Throat clear]

-----------
Once I threw a cinder block into the sun
It still hurts

The immediacy of penis
Won’t wait for you to do
Anything other than me

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: GalIagher Smash ()
Date: November 24, 2022 05:12AM

Been busy lately, but expect an infusion of fun and comedy shortly from the main man, Gallagher! Pics too!!

Check out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X74j1wK_sa0 for some classic Gallagher moments.

Please, in the meantime, enjoy this Carly Simon hit!

Coming Around Again
Carly Simon feat. Gallagher


——————

Baby sneezes
Mummy pleases
Daddy breezes in
So good on paper
So romantic
But so bewildering

I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
GALLAGHER’s coming around again

So don't mind if I fall apart
There's more room in a broken heart

You pay the grocer
Fix the toaster
Kiss the host good-bye
Then you break a window
Burn the souffle
Scream a lullaby

I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
GALLAGHER’s coming around again

So don't mind if I fall apart
There's more room in a broken heart

And I believe in love
But what else can I do
I'm so in love with you

I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
GALLAGHER’s coming around again

I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
GALLAGHER’s coming around again

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: Struggler ()
Date: November 25, 2022 09:59AM

Really hard to want to stay alive knowing Gallagher is gone. Trying. How are you guys making out? I am not ready for an exit kit but it’s getting harder each day to say that.

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: Grim Reaper ()
Date: November 26, 2022 05:22AM

The sweet release of death is indeed an option I would swiftly usher you towards. Gallagher stands waiting at the pearly gates. Three members of my local Gallagher Fan Club chapter have elected to leave this mortal coil. Two suffocated themselves using helium bags. One committed suicide by being beaten to death. I am sure you can find instructions on line for either of these methods.

My question is has Gallagher been embalmed like Lenin or Mao? I hope so. I think it is part of every American's civic duty to pass by his body and offer their thanks.

But, come on. We need to pick up the comedy torch folks. Let's find or become our new hero. "It's ok to look back, but don't stare too long."

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: Answer to your question ()
Date: November 26, 2022 10:21AM

Grim Reaper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My question is has Gallagher been embalmed like
> Lenin or Mao? I hope so. I think it is part of
> every American's civic duty to pass by his body
> and offer their thanks.
>
> But, come on. We need to pick up the comedy torch
> folks. Let's find or become our new hero. "It's ok
> to look back, but don't stare too long."


Gallagher has indeed been embalmed -- but not exactly like Lenin or Mao. Gallagher was embalmed with a special blend of watermelon juice.

There will be an upcoming tribute show/service where Gallagher's body will be wheeled out on stage in front of a live audience and his old jokes will be replayed. At the finale of the show, a large wooden mallet will be brought on stage and Gallagher's body will be ceremoniously smashed to bits. The audience, having waited with eager anticipation, will scream with glee as they are sprayed with lovely droplets of watermelon flavored bodily fluids and bits of flesh.

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: Total Classic ()
Date: November 26, 2022 09:12PM

I grew up on Gallager. Love his buffet gags. "I have played buffet before"

What a legend!

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: Long Posts Are Only Read ()
Date: November 26, 2022 09:30PM

When our constitutional rights are under attack by Democrats who will violate the constitution at will and have in our history too many times

This one troll poster only stupid Gallagher story is boring without pics that are indecent to the average person as that's is all some want to see so don't waste your time OP with frivolous bullshit writing for shits and grins without readers and instead write real truths about Democrats trying to take our rights away with no reasonable regulations only unconstitutional bans

At least you will be doing a service to your country's future

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: Simplly the Best ()
Date: November 26, 2022 11:18PM


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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: Great Ideas ()
Date: November 27, 2022 12:31AM

Answer to your question Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Gallagher has indeed been embalmed -- but not
> exactly like Lenin or Mao. Gallagher was embalmed
> with a special blend of watermelon juice.
>
> There will be an upcoming tribute show/service
> where Gallagher's body will be wheeled out on
> stage in front of a live audience and his old
> jokes will be replayed. At the finale of the
> show, a large wooden mallet will be brought on
> stage and Gallagher's body will be ceremoniously
> smashed to bits. The audience, having waited with
> eager anticipation, will scream with glee as they
> are sprayed with lovely droplets of watermelon
> flavored bodily fluids and bits of flesh.


That would be awesome and I'm sure Gallagher himself would approve. If not his real body, at least smash a dummy filled with watermelon in effigy.

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: GalIagher Smash ()
Date: November 27, 2022 07:09AM

"Long Posts Are Only Read" you have quite an interesting name! I'm glad you could read my post, and I thank you for your comment.

Is it only long posts you read? I'm sorry that I'm not necessarily talking only about what you want to talk about. Maybe Truth Social would be more your speed?

Like Gallagher, I am a confirmed libertarian and bedroom hedonist. I think both democrats and republicans are co-opted by interests aligned against the common man. But, if anything can bring people of different stripes together, comedy can.

Let's celebrate Gallagher together, LPAOR. I have much more fun and laughter queued up - from the GallaghArchives!

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: Musical Interlude ()
Date: November 27, 2022 07:31AM

All She Wants to Do Is Dance
by Don Henley feat Gallagher

-----

They're pickin' up the prisoners
And putting 'em in a pen
And all he wants to do is smash, smash
Rebels been rebels
Since I don't know when
And all he wants to do is smash

Molotov cocktail
The local drink
And all he wants to do is smash, smash
They mix 'em up right
In the kitchen sink
And all he wants to do is smash

Crazy people walkin' round
With blood in their eyes
And all he wants to do is smash, smash, smash
Wild-eyed pistol-wavers
Who ain't afraid to die
And all he wants to do is
All he wants to do is smash

[Chorus]
And make you laugh
He can feel the heat
Comin off the street
He wants to party
He wants to get down
All he wants to do is
All he wants to do is smash

Well the government bugged the men's room
In the local disco lounge
And all he wants to do is smash, smash
To keep the boys from sellin'
All the weapons they could scrounge
And all he wants to do is smash

But that don't keep the boys
From makin' a buck or two
And all he wants to do is smash, smash
They still can sell the army
All the drugs that they can do
And all he wants to do is
All he wants to do is smash
And make you laugh

Well, we barely made the airport
For the last plane out
As we taxied down the runway
I could hear the people shout
They said, "Don't come back here, Yankee"
But if I ever do
I'll bring more money
'Cause all he wants to do is smash

[Chorus]
And make you laugh
Never mind the heat
Comin' off the street
He wants to party
He wants to get down
All he wants to do is
All he wants to do is smash

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I Miss You Senpai
Posted by: The Hip Nip ()
Date: November 28, 2022 05:25AM

To the Gallants ... keep the fire! Remember:

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark

At the end of a storm
There's a VHS of Gallagher
And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone

Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone

gallagher-768x576.jpgfile.php?40,file=326369,filename=3423699

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: Air Supplier ()
Date: November 29, 2022 03:13AM

Lost In Love
by Air Supply (Feat. Gallagher)

I realize the best part of love is the thinnest slice
And it don't count for much
But I'm not letting go
I believe there's still much to believe in

So lift your eyes if you feel you can
Reach for a comic and I'll show you a man
I figured it out
What I needed was Showtime’s Gallagher

You know you can't fool me
You’ve been smashing fruit too long
It started so easy
You want to carry on

Lost in love and I don't know much
Was I thinking aloud and fell out of touch?
But I'm back on my feet and eager to be what you wanted

So lift your eyes if you feel you can
Reach for a star and I'll show you a man
I figured it out
What I needed was Showtime’s Gallagher

You know you can't fool me
You’ve been smashing fruit too long
It started so easy
You want to carry on

Lost in love and I don't know much
Was I thinking aloud and fell out of touch?
But I'm back on my feet and eager to be what you wanted

You know you can't fool me
You’ve been smashing fruit too long
It started so easy
You want to carry on

Lost in love and I don't know much
Was I thinking aloud and fell out of touch?
But I'm back on my feet and eager to be what you wanted

Now I'm lost, lost in love, lost in love, lost in love
Now I'm lost, lost in love, lost in love, lost in love
Lost in love, lost in love, lost in love
Lost in love, lost in love, lost in love

file.php?40,file=326520,filename=bio23.jfile.php?40,file=326521,filename=bio29.jfile.php?40,file=326535,filename=cp6.jpg

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: GaIlagher Smash ()
Date: November 29, 2022 03:23AM

Guys, should we petition Cary to create a Gallagher specific forum on Fairfax Underground? That is, the three categories would be "Fairfax County General", "Off-Topic", and "Gallagher - America's Comic"?

I am finding that the "all Gallagher related messages in a single thread" concept is quite limiting. I think we need more lebensraum.

Can somebody please follow up with Cary?

Yours in comedy,
Gallagher Smash

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: Toys from Galoob ()
Date: November 29, 2022 07:29AM

Gallagher is a comedy genius. Please do enjoy these gems.


Love, GS

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
What does the Smartest Man in the World think about...

Bill and Hillary confuse America. Who has the cajones in that family? Since they're both politicians, I think they've made a deal and they each have one.

A President Hillary would confuse state dinners too. After a meal, couples like to walk and talk. Usually the men talk and the women talk. But Hillary would need to talk to the man with power. That leaves Bill to talk to the wife and that's not smart for anybody.

Well-known ana-wreck-sick Nicole Richie had to stop trying to breast feed her new baby when the poor little thing's cheeks collapsed and mamma' was treated for a hickie on her tittie.

Don't send money to rebuild New Orleans, send dirt. You don't look up at a river!

How does a slut feel? Whore-a-ble.

If we dump anti-freeze down the drains why are we surprised the poles are melting? Duh!

Why don't kids pull up their pants? They can't run from the cops with their pants half off. Duh!

Why do girls put a butterfly over their but? There's no nectar down there.

There's a sign on the side of the road that explains why we fart. It says,"Gas...Food Lodging."

Why does it say "On" and "Off" on a light switch? If it's on you can see it's on and if it's off, you can't see to read.

Well we elected Bush because he was the kinda guy you could have a beer with and now things are so bad we're drinking. Happy now?

file.php?40,file=326619,filename=bio22.jfile.php?40,file=326626,filename=crw1534file.php?40,file=326528,filename=tumblr_

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Re: Open Letter to Gallagher's Daughter
Posted by: Long Posts Are Only Read ()
Date: November 29, 2022 08:22AM

Now we are talking. Gallagher forever!

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Gallagher Video Game
Posted by: GalIagher Smash ()
Date: December 03, 2022 04:36AM

Guys, this is something really exciting, that is going to please you Gallagherians. There is a Gallagher video game!!!!

It's called Gallagher's Gallery. It's the kind you'd see in the arcade with a gun attached to it.


This changes everything. More to come!!!

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