what the hell is up with the handshake? Why is it considered a good thing to have a "firm" handshake? How is having a firm handshake better than a handshake with little or no firmness? What's the difference? And who cares? Why are people being judged on the firmness of their handshake? This, to me, is insanity. Where and why did this garbage start? I always hear people say, "he has a nice, firm handshake".....so WHAT?! How much more arbitrary can we get in our judgment of people? I've never understood this and I never will. When you shake hands with me, it's like shaking hands with a dead carp, and if you're too small-minded to be okay with that, then FUCK YOU.

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A limp handshake is a sign of poor character and little willpower. Usually the persons I meet with weak handshakes are obese and keep a deer in the headlights look 24/7.

Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> what the hell is up with the handshake? Why is it
> considered a good thing to have a "firm"
> handshake? How is having a firm handshake better
> than a handshake with little or no firmness?
> What's the difference? And who cares? Why are
> people being judged on the firmness of their
> handshake? This, to me, is insanity. Where and why
> did this garbage start? I always hear people say,
> "he has a nice, firm handshake".....so WHAT?! How
> much more arbitrary can we get in our judgment of
> people? I've never understood this and I never
> will. When you shake hands with me, it's like
> shaking hands with a dead carp, and if you're too
> small-minded to be okay with that, then FUCK YOU.

A firm handshake simultaneously indicates self-confidence and respect for the other person. If I am meeting you in a non-business situation, I could care a less. If I am meeting you in a business negotiation and you hand me a dead fish, I immediately know I have the upper hand, especially if you fail to make eye contact. If you hand me that in a job interview, I will make sure the interview lasts less than ten minutes.

I equate firm hand shakes to confidence and, in some cases, sexual orientation... Although if the person is gay their level of confidence is difficult at best to ascertain. I actually have to engage them in conversation to figure that out.

(speaking from experience as a hiring manager)

Firm handed Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> A firm handshake simultaneously indicates
> self-confidence and respect for the other person.
> If I am meeting you in a non-business situation, I
> could care a less. If I am meeting you in a
> business negotiation and you hand me a dead fish,
> I immediately know I have the upper hand,
> especially if you fail to make eye contact. If
> you hand me that in a job interview, I will make
> sure the interview lasts less than ten minutes.

can't you see how archaic this thinking is? Making snap judgments about a person's character based on the pressure of their handshake? Okay, I think in a big-time corporate business setting, some of what you said can actually have meaning, but that's because business is all about one-upping the other guy and showing dominance, and all businessmen are douchebags anyway. But what are we, silverback gorillas? Can't we rise above this primal dick-measuring bullshit?

I'd do away with handshaking altogether if it were up to me. In fact, I'd even do away with "hello" and "goodbye". I'd like to live in a world where we could all just say what we need to say and forget all the bullshit inbetween. That's my dream.

How about bowing like Asian cultures? The longer and deeper your bow, the more respect you are showing to the other person.

Firm handshakes often lead to mental pissing contests. It's one thing to handshake without a limp wrist, but quite another to give someone a Kung fu grip and try to squeeze their fingers off.

To me, that's a sign that someone has something to hide or some dark secret.

Just shake the fucking hand and move on.

Numbers Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Firm handshakes often lead to mental pissing
> contests. It's one thing to handshake without a
> limp wrist, but quite another to give someone a
> Kung fu grip and try to squeeze their fingers
> off.
>
> To me, that's a sign that someone has something to
> hide or some dark secret.
>
> Just shake the fucking hand and move on.

then you have the variations, such as the 'hand sandwich', where you put your other hand overtop the person's hand as you're shaking. It's a subtle way of saying, "I'm in control".....because the other guy can't then put his left hand over your hand....that would just be silly....so you win, by putting an extra hand out. Or the handshake/hand on shoulder, which implies ownership or control of the other party. It's like a feeling of superiority.

If you're one of these people who always makes a conscious effort to give a vice-like grip with your handshake, it means you're overly concerned with appearing dominant and confident, and if you're overly concerned with either of those things, then chances are you are neither of them.

My least favorite handshake looks like "paper" in rock, paper, scissors which requires you to turn your hand palm-up. It suggests "submitting" to their demand that you shake their hand "their way". Fuck you if that's how you extend your hand. I won't shake it. I'd rather fluff Ron Jeremy.

When shaking someone's hand, turn you hand sideways and then aim the fleshy portion between your thumb and pointer finger to the same area in the shakee's hand. Once these two areas meet, rotate your hand to the normal shaking position. This will allow you and the other person a firm grip hence a firm handshake and neither will able to crush the others hand.

One thing I love to do is intentionally mess up a handshake. Sometimes I will go in with my fingers outstretched and don't close my hand when they grab mine.

Sometimes I just grab their hand, without shaking, and don't let go...

Sometimes I grab their hand prematurely...

Sometimes I extend my hand normally, but bait and switch to the limp wristed, lady handshake.

When I'm feeling really frisky, I'll give them a Pauly Shore (RIP), "weasel" style handshake... This consists of pointing the back of my hand towards them, tips up, and then I give my fingers a little wiggle...

I love seeing how uncomfortable people become from something as simple as a handshake...

I only do this with informal handshakes, of course...

Signatures are for fags

I've heard a lot of different opines on this topic. THere are somebusiness motivational trainers that will charge you big dollars and then waste time telling you how to shake hands correctly.If you haven't figured it out you won't.

I'm always leary of dudes who make the concerted effort to give the rock crusher as if exuding phony confidence. Usually I am pretty good at spotting a bullshitter.

idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam



Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.

Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM

what if you're shaking hands with a lady? Ladies' hands are delicate. You wouldn't want to squeeze too hard. You might break it. For that reason, I give the dead fish to everyone. I don't have time to be adjusting the pressure of my handshakes for every Tom, Dick and Sally I meet. Same dead fish handshake for everybody. And if someone tries to hug me, I just straight-arm 'em. If they go in for a kiss on the cheek, I simply recoil and fall to the ground, weeping like a girl.

I don't do high-fives. It's way too simian. What, are we slapping hands together like a couple of orangutans? Haven't we evolved? If you put up your hand for a high-five, I'll just stand there and look at you. And if someone tries to pull the "up high, down low, too slow" thing on me, I simply poke them in the eye.

Miz... You just ain't no fun...

Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> what if you're shaking hands with a lady? Ladies'
> hands are delicate. You wouldn't want to squeeze
> too hard. You might break it. For that reason, I
> give the dead fish to everyone. I don't have time
> to be adjusting the pressure of my handshakes for
> every Tom, Dick and Sally I meet. Same dead fish
> handshake for everybody. And if someone tries to
> hug me, I just straight-arm 'em. If they go in for
> a kiss on the cheek, I simply recoil and fall to
> the ground, weeping like a girl.
>
> I don't do high-fives. It's way too simian. What,
> are we slapping hands together like a couple of
> orangutans? Haven't we evolved? If you put up your
> hand for a high-five, I'll just stand there and
> look at you. And if someone tries to pull the "up
> high, down low, too slow" thing on me, I simply
> poke them in the eye.

Signatures are for fags

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Miz... You just ain't no fun...
Attachments:

Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Numbers Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Firm handshakes often lead to mental pissing
> > contests. It's one thing to handshake without a
> > limp wrist, but quite another to give someone a
> > Kung fu grip and try to squeeze their fingers
> > off.
> >
> > To me, that's a sign that someone has something
> to
> > hide or some dark secret.
> >
> > Just shake the fucking hand and move on.
>
> then you have the variations, such as the 'hand
> sandwich', where you put your other hand overtop
> the person's hand as you're shaking. It's a subtle
> way of saying, "I'm in control".....because the
> other guy can't then put his left hand over your
> hand....that would just be silly....so you win, by
> putting an extra hand out. Or the handshake/hand
> on shoulder, which implies ownership or control of
> the other party. It's like a feeling of
> superiority.
>
> If you're one of these people who always makes a
> conscious effort to give a vice-like grip with
> your handshake, it means you're overly concerned
> with appearing dominant and confident, and if
> you're overly concerned with either of those
> things, then chances are you are neither of them.

Isn't it ironic you'd spend this amount of time and effort analyzing handshakes, but absolutely NONE self-monitoring yourself before posting inane drivel on a message board?

I can't believe I just agreed with Reggie....LOL

______________________________________________
I have had to change the addresses to my retaliatory blogs over half a dozen times.

I like customizing handshakes... I have a slightly different hand shake/ high five for everyone I know...

Hand shakes are slightly different with most women... I "throw" the handshake the same but it usually ends up with less hand and no shake...

If you catch my drift...

Signatures are for fags
Attachments:

fairfaxdude Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Isn't it ironic you'd spend this amount of time
> and effort analyzing handshakes, but absolutely
> NONE self-monitoring yourself before posting inane
> drivel on a message board?
>
> I can't believe I just agreed with Reggie....LOL

what should I be posting on a message board? Chaucer? This is Fairfax Underground--it's ALL inane drivel. Are you familiar with the work of Gustevson Gornadi?
Attachments:

Ever have someone catch you going for the Purex right after you shook their hand? Always awkward.

idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam



Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.

Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM

Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> then you have the variations, such as the 'hand
> sandwich', where you put your other hand overtop
> the person's hand as you're shaking.


I've noticed pastors do this a lot. It's like they think it's comforting to have your hand held.

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mr. Misery Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
> >
> > then you have the variations, such as the 'hand
> > sandwich', where you put your other hand
> overtop
> > the person's hand as you're shaking.
>
>
> I've noticed pastors do this a lot. It's like they
> think it's comforting to have your hand held.


they only shook my hand like that when i was a little boy. i stopped going to church

here's the deal. i shake the majority of the hands firm, i dont try to be macho and crush them, i apply enough pressure to let them know they are shaking hands with a man.

business women/men - firm hand shake

old men (70+) - slightly less firm

friends/acquaintances - informal ghetto handshake

bull dykes - crush em (go citizen snips on their ass)

ladies - less firm than old men, never dead fish, firm but gentle i would say.