HomeFairfax General ForumArrest/Ticket SearchWiki newPictures/VideosChatArticlesLinksAbout
Off-Topic :  Fairfax Underground fairfax underground logo
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
General Milley Rides Through Streets Of Beijing Shouting ‘The Americans Are Coming!’
Posted by: Babylon Bee ()
Date: September 19, 2021 04:40PM




BEIJING—General Mark Milley was heard last night riding through the streets of Beijing, desperately warning the Chinese with the clarion call, "The Americans are coming! The Americans are coming!!"

"Hey look, those Chinese generals are my buddies, they deserve fair warning—I've known them for ten years now, and they are always so nice to me. They were super supportive about that whole Afghanistan withdrawal thing—those friendships are more important than some job," explained General Milley, America's highest-ranking military officer.

"I mean—they aren't close friends, we don't get together for poker or anything. But we do sometimes exchange funny memes and nuclear codes. We also play that game 'Battleship', but I use the actual coordinates of the 7th fleet, which adds that element of realism which makes it more fun."

Several members of the media, military and those with objective neurons in their brains saw the midnight ride differently, accusing the General of treason. While admitting that factually he totally committed treason, General Milley defended his actions as morally correct. "You all think this is so clear-cut, like there is some clear chain of command we are supposed to follow in the military. It's not that simple," said General Milley. "What if you had a commander who ordered an airstrike against terrorists who kept people in concentration camps, but that felt kind of rash to you? And what if those terrorists had just sent you a hilarious cat .gif? Put yourself in my shoes."

"It sure is easy to cast stones from the peanut gallery out there. But someday, a President is going to come along that is angry, rash, incompetent, and borderline demented, and that President is going to make an enormous mess out of a military operation leading to the deaths of many Americans," he said angrily. "Hopefully that day never comes."

BEIJING—General Mark Milley was heard last night riding through the streets of Beijing, desperately warning the Chinese with the clarion call, "The Americans are coming! The Americans are coming!!"

"Hey look, those Chinese generals are my buddies, they deserve fair warning—I've known them for ten years now, and they are always so nice to me. They were super supportive about that whole Afghanistan withdrawal thing—those friendships are more important than some job," explained General Milley, America's highest-ranking military officer.

"I mean—they aren't close friends, we don't get together for poker or anything. But we do sometimes exchange funny memes and nuclear codes. We also play that game 'Battleship', but I use the actual coordinates of the 7th fleet, which adds that element of realism which makes it more fun."

Several members of the media, military and those with objective neurons in their brains saw the midnight ride differently, accusing the General of treason. While admitting that factually he totally committed treason, General Milley defended his actions as morally correct. "You all think this is so clear-cut, like there is some clear chain of command we are supposed to follow in the military. It's not that simple," said General Milley. "What if you had a commander who ordered an airstrike against terrorists who kept people in concentration camps, but that felt kind of rash to you? And what if those terrorists had just sent you a hilarious cat .gif? Put yourself in my shoes."

"It sure is easy to cast stones from the peanut gallery out there. But someday, a President is going to come along that is angry, rash, incompetent, and borderline demented, and that President is going to make an enormous mess out of a military operation leading to the deaths of many Americans," he said angrily. "Hopefully that day never comes."

BEIJING—General Mark Milley was heard last night riding through the streets of Beijing, desperately warning the Chinese with the clarion call, "The Americans are coming! The Americans are coming!!"

"Hey look, those Chinese generals are my buddies, they deserve fair warning—I've known them for ten years now, and they are always so nice to me. They were super supportive about that whole Afghanistan withdrawal thing—those friendships are more important than some job," explained General Milley, America's highest-ranking military officer.

"I mean—they aren't close friends, we don't get together for poker or anything. But we do sometimes exchange funny memes and nuclear codes. We also play that game 'Battleship', but I use the actual coordinates of the 7th fleet, which adds that element of realism which makes it more fun."

Several members of the media, military and those with objective neurons in their brains saw the midnight ride differently, accusing the General of treason. While admitting that factually he totally committed treason, General Milley defended his actions as morally correct. "You all think this is so clear-cut, like there is some clear chain of command we are supposed to follow in the military. It's not that simple," said General Milley. "What if you had a commander who ordered an airstrike against terrorists who kept people in concentration camps, but that felt kind of rash to you? And what if those terrorists had just sent you a hilarious cat .gif? Put yourself in my shoes."

"It sure is easy to cast stones from the peanut gallery out there. But someday, a President is going to come along that is angry, rash, incompetent, and borderline demented, and that President is going to make an enormous mess out of a military operation leading to the deaths of many Americans," he said angrily. "Hopefully that day never comes."

https://youtu.be/RR_2Von6EPI

Options: ReplyQuote


Your Name: 
Your Email (Optional): 
Subject: 
Attach a file
  • No file can be larger than 75 MB
  • All files together cannot be larger than 300 MB
  • 30 more file(s) can be attached to this message
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
 **     **  **     **  **     **  ********   **     ** 
 **     **  **     **  **     **  **     **  ***   *** 
 **     **  **     **  **     **  **     **  **** **** 
 **     **  **     **  **     **  **     **  ** *** ** 
 **     **  **     **   **   **   **     **  **     ** 
 **     **  **     **    ** **    **     **  **     ** 
  *******    *******      ***     ********   **     ** 
This forum powered by Phorum.