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Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Ivan Jerkinov ()
Date: May 03, 2010 08:40PM

Anybody got any good stories about getting your ass kicked?
If not that how about some good stories about how and why you kicked someone else's ass.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Date: May 03, 2010 08:49PM

When I was a kid, there was this neighborhood bully who used to kick the shit out of me every time I ran into him. One day, I saw him coming down the road toward me. I was so freaked out that I climbed up a wooden fence to jump over. However, as I went over I held onto the top of the fence too long. The jagged wooden fence tore the shit out of the palms of my hands. When I finally got down, the bully had made his way around and still kicked the shit out of me.

Moral of the story...running away from your problems causes a whole lot of pain and in the end you still have to deal with your problems.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Daniel San ()
Date: May 03, 2010 08:53PM

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When I was a kid, there was this neighborhood
> bully who used to kick the shit out of me every
> time I ran into him. One day, I saw him coming
> down the road toward me. I was so freaked out that
> I climbed up a wooden fence to jump over. However,
> as I went over I held onto the top of the fence
> too long. The jagged wooden fence tore the shit
> out of the palms of my hands. When I finally got
> down, the bully had made his way around and still
> kicked the shit out of me.
>
> Moral of the story...running away from your
> problems causes a whole lot of pain and in the end
> you still have to deal with your problems.


Thanks, Mr. Myagi...now go catch a fly with some chopsticks! :)

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: i got bullied ()
Date: May 03, 2010 08:56PM

I got bullied by a douchebag in the neighborhood all the time as a kid. One day I set their lawn on fire after dropping a deuce in their pool. A moved out of the area a few years later he got arrested for breaking into a house and feeling a lady up. I like to think about his years in prison as karma.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Ivan Jerkinov ()
Date: May 03, 2010 08:58PM

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When I was a kid, there was this neighborhood
> bully who used to kick the shit out of me every
> time I ran into him. One day, I saw him coming
> down the road toward me. I was so freaked out that
> I climbed up a wooden fence to jump over. However,
> as I went over I held onto the top of the fence
> too long. The jagged wooden fence tore the shit
> out of the palms of my hands. When I finally got
> down, the bully had made his way around and still
> kicked the shit out of me.
>
> Moral of the story...running away from your
> problems causes a whole lot of pain and in the end
> you still have to deal with your problems.


That is ponderous man, F-ing ponderous THANKS

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: May 03, 2010 09:00PM

This thread is going to be full of e-thug tales of badassery.





\
Attachments:
bully school.jpg

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Date: May 03, 2010 09:01PM

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This thread is going to be full of e-thug tales of
> badassery.
>
>
>
>
>
> \


I'll be honest. Pretty much all of my "ass kicking" stories involve me having my ass kicked. I'm a lover, not a fighter.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Ivan Jerkinov ()
Date: May 03, 2010 09:02PM

i got bullied Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I got bullied by a douchebag in the neighborhood
> all the time as a kid. One day I set their lawn
> on fire after dropping a deuce in their pool. A
> moved out of the area a few years later he got
> arrested for breaking into a house and feeling a
> lady up. I like to think about his years in
> prison as karma.


Karma is a really good thing.
Did you really drop a deuce or just use a baby ruth?

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Troll@AOL ()
Date: May 03, 2010 09:41PM

The candybar sized giant Tootsie Rolls work great also. After many divers examined the specimen with goggles on, and faces within inches of it, I was the only one bold enough to go down and retrieve the prize. You shoulda seen the looks on everyones faces when I came up out of the water grinning from ear to ear holdin' that motherfucker with my teeth!

==================================================================================
"Why don't you LOSERS just pack your flower print DOUCHE BAGS
and get your stoopid @$$#$ THE FUCK OFF MY INTERNETZ!"

- 'philscamms' (the YT Watchdog) ; internet & YouTube® extraordinaire.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: May 03, 2010 10:13PM

This one time, I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Numbers ()
Date: May 03, 2010 10:34PM

MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This one time, I shot a man in Reno, just to watch
> him die.


My name is Sue! How do you do? Now you gonna die!

_____________________________________________________
You're soaking in it

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: DaveT ()
Date: May 04, 2010 08:24PM

Ivan Jerkinov Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anybody got any good stories about getting your
> ass kicked?
> If not that how about some good stories about how
> and why you kicked someone else's ass.


I worked as a bouncer at a bar in woodbribge back in the late 80's.
I got my ass kicked by two guys who hid in the bushes outside the bar and hit me in the head with a fire extingushier and busted my ribs with their steel toe boots. When I got out of the hospital I decided it was time for a career change.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: real bouncer ()
Date: May 06, 2010 08:43PM

DaveT Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ivan Jerkinov Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Anybody got any good stories about getting your
> > ass kicked?
> > If not that how about some good stories about
> how
> > and why you kicked someone else's ass.
>
>
> I worked as a bouncer at a bar in woodbribge back
> in the late 80's.
> I got my ass kicked by two guys who hid in the
> bushes outside the bar and hit me in the head with
> a fire extingushier and busted my ribs with their
> steel toe boots. When I got out of the hospital I
> decided it was time for a career change.


Bouncer gets his ass kicked. You must have sucked at being a Bouncer.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: ThePackLeader ()
Date: May 06, 2010 09:08PM

Too many stories to recount.

I do remember this little prick and his brother who moved into the neighborhood when I was in fourth grade though. None of the other kids liked them, so I tried to welcome them and show them around the place, but eventually I finally understood why the other kids hated them.

My dog was going ballistic one day, so I looked outside to see why, and I saw two bikes laying in my yard. I then walked outside, and it turned out that this kid and his brother were walking around my backyard. I said: "Hey, wasup, what are you guys up to?". They said: "We're looking for your BMX track, we want to use it" (I have some woods in my backyard, and some of my friends and I used it like a giant BMX park). So I said to them: "Well, why didn't you come up and ask me first?". So the older brother says: "Why? We don't have to, we can use the thing if we want". So an argument broke out, and finally I told him to get lost. He got in my face, so I shoved him into the street, and then he got on his bike and rode off. His brother came up to me on his bike and yelled: "You Fucking Faggot", then I shoved him and his bike over into the street too.

The second confrontation we had, he and his brother started a fight with myself and two other friends (After a street hockey game). His little brother tried to hit me in the stomach with a hockey stick, so I swung mine at his face. They ran off and got their mom, and she came over yelling at me in front of my mom. She told my mom that if she caught me one day, she'd hold me down and let her kids beat me. My parents simply told her that she wouldn't do it.

So finally one day, I was riding by their house on my bike, and suddenly the little punk and his brother jump out from some bushes and "ambush" me with nerf guns hahaha. Their mom was waiting, and she came outside while they stood around me. She started arguing with me about the fights with her son, and I respectfully told her: "Your kid isn't an angel, he cusses at grown-ups, hits people for no reason, and doesn't respect anyone". So she replies: "OH, MY kid IS an Angel", blah, blah, blah. She was a delusional bitch who swore that their house was haunted, because she heard whistling noises from the refrigerator (True story).

They moved a couple months later.

==================================================================================================
"And if any women or children get their legs torn off, or faces caved in, well, it's tough shit for them." -2LT. Bert Stiles, 505th, 339th (On Berlin Bombardier Mission, 1944).

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Alias ()
Date: May 06, 2010 09:17PM

ThePackLeader Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
She was a delusional bitch who swore that
> their house was haunted, because she heard
> whistling noises from the refrigerator (True
> story).
>

Wow. That sounds like Spunky.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Tigerstyle ()
Date: May 06, 2010 11:16PM

A real bouncer's head would've simply caused the fire extinguisher to explode, killing the two assailants and leaving him unscathed (flame retardent tattoos, naturally)


real bouncer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> DaveT Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Ivan Jerkinov Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Anybody got any good stories about getting
> your
> > > ass kicked?
> > > If not that how about some good stories about
> > how
> > > and why you kicked someone else's ass.
> >
> >
> > I worked as a bouncer at a bar in woodbribge
> back
> > in the late 80's.
> > I got my ass kicked by two guys who hid in the
> > bushes outside the bar and hit me in the head
> with
> > a fire extingushier and busted my ribs with
> their
> > steel toe boots. When I got out of the hospital
> I
> > decided it was time for a career change.
>
>
> Bouncer gets his ass kicked. You must have sucked
> at being a Bouncer.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: May 06, 2010 11:24PM

"Real bouncers" usually look like ogres and have the IQ of a child with Down's Syndrome.

They are also just for show, the perception they can literally grab you and throw you out of a club or bar is bullshit. They can't touch you unless there is a life threatening situation.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Troll@AOL ()
Date: May 06, 2010 11:29PM

Said like a true faggot, 'don't touch me'...yeah good luck with that one.
For some reason I don't think thier testosterone injections make them afraid of skinny little prissy faggots.

==================================================================================
"Why don't you LOSERS just pack your flower print DOUCHE BAGS
and get your stoopid @$$#$ THE FUCK OFF MY INTERNETZ!"

- 'philscamms' (the YT Watchdog) ; internet & YouTube® extraordinaire.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: May 06, 2010 11:38PM

Troll@AOL Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Said like a true faggot, 'don't touch me'...yeah
> good luck with that one.
> For some reason I don't think thier testosterone
> injections make them afraid of skinny little
> prissy faggots.



Thanks for calling me skinny. Most people here assume I'm a ginger that weighs 300 pounds. I don't know how that got started. :-(

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Troll@AOL ()
Date: May 06, 2010 11:43PM

Okay, well same goes for the 300lb ginger ones also :)~

==================================================================================
"Why don't you LOSERS just pack your flower print DOUCHE BAGS
and get your stoopid @$$#$ THE FUCK OFF MY INTERNETZ!"

- 'philscamms' (the YT Watchdog) ; internet & YouTube® extraordinaire.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: bloody blisters ()
Date: May 07, 2010 03:10AM

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Real bouncers" usually look like ogres and have
> the IQ of a child with Down's Syndrome.
>
> They are also just for show, the perception they
> can literally grab you and throw you out of a club
> or bar is bullshit. They can't touch you unless
> there is a life threatening situation.


they can grab and throw you out(not literally throw you) but escort you out the door using force if you are drunk or causing a ruckus or both. they cant hit you, but full nelsons and double chicken wings are ok. im sure if you got injured because of their actions you would have a strong case against them, but most bars have good lawyers.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: BenDovver ()
Date: May 08, 2010 05:45AM

bloody blisters Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> eesh Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > "Real bouncers" usually look like ogres and
> have
> > the IQ of a child with Down's Syndrome.
> >
> > They are also just for show, the perception
> they
> > can literally grab you and throw you out of a
> club
> > or bar is bullshit. They can't touch you unless
> > there is a life threatening situation.
>
>
> they can grab and throw you out(not literally
> throw you) but escort you out the door using force
> if you are drunk or causing a ruckus or both. they
> cant hit you, but full nelsons and double chicken
> wings are ok. im sure if you got injured because
> of their actions you would have a strong case
> against them, but most bars have good lawyers.


frickin bouncers rape again
Attachments:
astro-bouncer.jpg

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Mr Smith ()
Date: December 24, 2010 03:19PM

Ivan Jerkinov Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anybody got any good stories about getting your
> ass kicked?
> If not that how about some good stories about how
> and why you kicked someone else's ass.


When I worked at Gino's on 236 back in 1978 I had a customer freak out on me because his chicken thighs were undercooked. He came in the kitchen waveing his thighs screaming like a wild man, I took a ladle of hot grease from the deep frier and threw it on him. This pissed the guy off even more and caused all my co-workers to run like hell. Then the fricken dude grabs a mop and jabs me with it breaking a rib after that he kicks me in the nuts while im down and shoves the chicken thighs in my face. When the cops show up he is long gone and I get fired for throwing grease on a customer.
To this day I cannot eat fried chicken without remembering that day.


BTW
The thighs were cold in the middle.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: ATOWNFLY ()
Date: December 24, 2010 05:57PM

I remember back in the highschool days, we used to head up to places to chill... (games, bowling, etc.) One day we met this one dude who asked for some cigarettes... Turned out he was running from the cops. The story that he gave was that he was pulled over being drunk, handed over his license and got pulled out of the car. Later he punched the cop and ran away, stole a car, and was now here in the middle of the town, hidden away by trees and dumpsters near our "chill spot" that was commonplace for kids our age.

We offered him money and food to get by and he would sleep in his car, steal food from the local Giants, steal clothes from the mall and give us stolen goods in exchange for our "Help". Of course, all of us are now some what friends...

*months go by*

He parked his car one day and got picked up by another friend before we were supposed to chill, after we got back there was a cop at his car checking plates and couple more cops around the parking lot. Knowing this kid was running we turned back.

Turns out, he had stolen his parents car, had run away from his 2 million dollar home and was trying to live the streets. Boy did my friends and I have our way with him. From beginning to end it was a lie, so six of my friends and I brought him to a brick fence and told him to stand there while he tells us the truth.

After he told us the story, we stomped him face, ribs, legs, arms so hard he started to bleed and scream. A friend took off his boots and threw it at his face....

Maybe a couple minutes later, he was just a red clump in the grass wheezing... I think he got what he deserved and more...

Oh yeah, and he broke into my car and blamed someone else.... (checked the local store camera records to confirm).. Bitch took my carton of marlboros and my coke.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: tomahawk ()
Date: December 24, 2010 06:22PM

One time I made a move on this chick who lived across the street, Karen I think her name was. She got upset and ran off. Later she and her boyfriend Henry rolled up in his car while I was washing my car in my driveway with my preppie douchebag buddies. Henry told her to go into the house and he came across the street, got in my face, and pistol-whipped me with a .38 revolver. He beat the shit out of my face, and told me, "I swear on my fuckin' mother, if you ever touch her again, you're dead!" Then he asked Karen to hide his gun for him. I think he was a gangster. I never messed with either of them again.

Another time I was with my motorcycle club and we rolled up on this bar in the Bronx. We went in and sat at the bar and asked for beer and these Italian guys told us to get lost. Their boss, Sonny I think his name was, said it was okay if we had a beer, so we got served up, but me and my buddies were stupid and we started squirting beer all over the bartender. Sonny locks the door and says, "Now yous can't leave." Then his mobster buddies swarmed out of the back room and beat the fuck out of us with baseball bats. Sonny dragged me outside, smashed my bike, and grabbed me by the hair and says, "Look at me. Remember who did this to you." Then he hit me in the head again and stormed off complaining that we had ruined his whole fucking lunch. Damn sure I'll never do THAT again...

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: davedavedave ()
Date: December 26, 2010 03:59PM

"The thighs were cold in the middle."

reminds me of my first ex-wife.










Mr Smith Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ivan Jerkinov Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Anybody got any good stories about getting your
> > ass kicked?
> > If not that how about some good stories about
> how
> > and why you kicked someone else's ass.
>
>
> When I worked at Gino's on 236 back in 1978 I had
> a customer freak out on me because his chicken
> thighs were undercooked. He came in the kitchen
> waveing his thighs screaming like a wild man, I
> took a ladle of hot grease from the deep frier and
> threw it on him. This pissed the guy off even more
> and caused all my co-workers to run like hell.
> Then the fricken dude grabs a mop and jabs me with
> it breaking a rib after that he kicks me in the
> nuts while im down and shoves the chicken thighs
> in my face. When the cops show up he is long gone
> and I get fired for throwing grease on a
> customer.
> To this day I cannot eat fried chicken without
> remembering that day.
>
>
> BTW
> The thighs were cold in the middle.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: dika-dika ()
Date: December 26, 2010 04:28PM

The good thing about an expunged juvenile record, nobody will never know about the Mother Fucker that got his head damn near knocked off of his shoulder and put in a state of retardation by a louisville slugger for putting his damn dick beater on that supposily juvenile person.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: December 26, 2010 04:44PM

dika-dika, I'm going to kick your ass.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: dika-dika ()
Date: December 26, 2010 05:12PM

Where Ya Been?

Miss Ya, Hope you had a Merry Christmas.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: December 26, 2010 06:26PM

dika-dika Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Where Ya Been?
>
> Miss Ya, Hope you had a Merry Christmas.





Likewise dika-dika.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: brobro ()
Date: November 08, 2011 05:26AM

Mr Smith Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ivan Jerkinov Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Anybody got any good stories about getting your
> > ass kicked?
> > If not that how about some good stories about
> how
> > and why you kicked someone else's ass.
>
>
> When I worked at Gino's on 236 back in 1978 I had
> a customer freak out on me because his chicken
> thighs were undercooked. He came in the kitchen
> waveing his thighs screaming like a wild man, I
> took a ladle of hot grease from the deep frier and
> threw it on him. This pissed the guy off even more
> and caused all my co-workers to run like hell.
> Then the fricken dude grabs a mop and jabs me with
> it breaking a rib after that he kicks me in the
> nuts while im down and shoves the chicken thighs
> in my face. When the cops show up he is long gone
> and I get fired for throwing grease on a
> customer.
> To this day I cannot eat fried chicken without
> remembering that day.
>
>
> BTW
> The thighs were cold in the middle.


awesome story bro.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: bullybeater ()
Date: November 08, 2011 09:49AM

well this really wasn't kicking someones ass but here it goes. As a kid there was this bully who hung out with some older kids in my neighborhood who would always terrorize me, I was a fat kid. One time he threw a bag of smoke over my head and kicked me in my back, he would call my mother a whore when he saw her and told me how he would rape her when he was drunk/high, etc. I still suffer from confidence and self esteem issues and have trouble with relationships. Well fast forward, I lost all my weight, bulked up, started to kick box, and word is he told people he doesn't wanna fuck with me anymore and is scared of me. Well that and before he got married I saw him with one of the older kids from back in the day. He tried to act all apologetic, gave me his hand to shake, and acted like nothing happened. I told him not to what up me and that he needs to watch who the fuck he's talking to now. I continued to tell him that I wanted to crash his wedding reception knock his fuckin' ass out on the floor and fuck his wife in front of all his family so she knew what a real man was like. Then if he ever had kids I would beat the shit out of him in front of his kids so he looks like a pussy. Then said to him if I ever have kids I'll teach him to fuck up your kids. He also seen some of the people I hang out with (these people don't give a fuck) Needless to say for some reason I can't find him on facebook, hmmmm. He also hasn't come around my neighborhood ever since I had that little chat with him and I also can't find his number in the phonebook. I keep hoping to run into him again because who knows. Moral of the story, don't be a bully because the future can be a bitch!

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Dalton ()
Date: November 08, 2011 12:41PM

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Real bouncers" usually look like ogres and have
> the IQ of a child with Down's Syndrome.
>
> They are also just for show, the perception they
> can literally grab you and throw you out of a club
> or bar is bullshit. They can't touch you unless
> there is a life threatening situation.


Uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure this is what REAL bouncers look like. And if there's anything I learned from the Best Movie Ever, it's that bouncers do Tai Chi first thing in the morning out in the front yard of the farm house, then they get it on with their girlfriend who is a physician/model:
Attachments:
b7mfxaa358a953ax.jpg

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Ray Palminteri/Chazz Liotta ()
Date: November 08, 2011 02:59PM

tomahawk Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> One time I made a move on this chick who lived
> across the street, Karen I think her name was. She
> got upset and ran off. Later she and her boyfriend
> Henry rolled up in his car while I was washing my
> car in my driveway with my preppie douchebag
> buddies. Henry told her to go into the house and
> he came across the street, got in my face, and
> pistol-whipped me with a .38 revolver. He beat the
> shit out of my face, and told me, "I swear on my
> fuckin' mother, if you ever touch her again,
> you're dead!" Then he asked Karen to hide his gun
> for him. I think he was a gangster. I never messed
> with either of them again.
>
> Another time I was with my motorcycle club and we
> rolled up on this bar in the Bronx. We went in and
> sat at the bar and asked for beer and these
> Italian guys told us to get lost. Their boss,
> Sonny I think his name was, said it was okay if we
> had a beer, so we got served up, but me and my
> buddies were stupid and we started squirting beer
> all over the bartender. Sonny locks the door and
> says, "Now yous can't leave." Then his mobster
> buddies swarmed out of the back room and beat the
> fuck out of us with baseball bats. Sonny dragged
> me outside, smashed my bike, and grabbed me by the
> hair and says, "Look at me. Remember who did this
> to you." Then he hit me in the head again and
> stormed off complaining that we had ruined his
> whole fucking lunch. Damn sure I'll never do THAT
> again...

Tomahawk, your posts are money but seriously...did you just finish watching "Good Fellas" or was it "A Bronx Tale"?

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Yucky24. ()
Date: November 09, 2011 04:55AM

I've always been the bullier of the bullies.

Being a genetically superior White Man, I've been lucky enough to never be bullied, picked on or assualted even once in my life.

I'm rich, good looking, charming and very athletic.

People don't want to attack me because they like me, they're attracted to me and they know I could probably kick their ass.

I also carry a (legal) Glock 26. So assualting me is probably a bad idea...

Usually popular, jockish, good looking people get stereotyped as treating other people like dog shit.

But I've never really picked on or mistreated anyone.

Despite my troll persona, I'm actually a really good guy in real life.

In fact, not only did I refrain from bullying others, like my original sentence stated: I pick on the bullies.

I'm a nerd's knight in shining armor.

I saved quite a few kids from getting thrashed in school.

And if some eesh-type loser was making fun of another kid to make themselves feel better about being total failures, I'd intervene and quickly put them in their place...

And despite being a highly evolved and civilized White Man, I have a very strong gorilla instinct when it comes to protecting.

If you're a 3rd world douchebag like JBass, don't even think about fucking with people in my presence.

I will annihilate you verbally or physically if needs be.

I also drive all the females in my life absolutely crazy. I'm UBER-protective of them.

I rarely ever approve of their boyfriends (or husbands these days - yeesh, I'm getting old...)

And if they DARE abuse them in ANY way, your getting my fists to your face.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: JBass ()
Date: November 09, 2011 11:08AM

Yucky24. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I've always been the bullier of the bullies.
>
> Being a genetically superior White Man, I've been
> lucky enough to never be bullied, picked on or
> assualted even once in my life.
>
> I'm rich, good looking, charming and very
> athletic.
>
> People don't want to attack me because they like
> me, they're attracted to me and they know I could
> probably kick their ass.
>
> I also carry a (legal) Glock 26. So assualting me
> is probably a bad idea...
>
> Usually popular, jockish, good looking people get
> stereotyped as treating other people like dog
> shit.
>
> But I've never really picked on or mistreated
> anyone.
>
> Despite my troll persona, I'm actually a really
> good guy in real life.
>
> In fact, not only did I refrain from bullying
> others, like my original sentence stated: I pick
> on the bullies.
>
> I'm a nerd's knight in shining armor.
>
> I saved quite a few kids from getting thrashed in
> school.
>
> And if some eesh-type loser was making fun of
> another kid to make themselves feel better about
> being total failures, I'd intervene and quickly
> put them in their place...
>
> And despite being a highly evolved and civilized
> White Man, I have a very strong gorilla instinct
> when it comes to protecting.
>
> If you're a 3rd world douchebag like JBass, don't
> even think about fucking with people in my
> presence.
>
> I will annihilate you verbally or physically if
> needs be.
>
> I also drive all the females in my life absolutely
> crazy. I'm UBER-protective of them.
>
> I rarely ever approve of their boyfriends (or
> husbands these days - yeesh, I'm getting old...)
>
> And if they DARE abuse them in ANY way, your
> getting my fists to your face.

You are such a tool. A racist trying to sound like a civilized human being. What a joke. Where did you grow up Yucky24?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: JBaddass ()
Date: November 09, 2011 11:19AM

JBass is KICKASS!


Attachments:
kick ass.jpg

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: geronimo2 ()
Date: November 09, 2011 02:21PM

Yucky24. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I've always been the bullier of the bullies.
>
> Being a genetically superior White Man, I've been
> lucky enough to never be bullied, picked on or
> assualted even once in my life.
>
> I'm rich, good looking, charming and very
> athletic.
>
> People don't want to attack me because they like
> me, they're attracted to me and they know I could
> probably kick their ass.
>
> I also carry a (legal) Glock 26. So assualting me
> is probably a bad idea...
>
> Usually popular, jockish, good looking people get
> stereotyped as treating other people like dog
> shit.
>
> But I've never really picked on or mistreated
> anyone.
>
> Despite my troll persona, I'm actually a really
> good guy in real life.
>
> In fact, not only did I refrain from bullying
> others, like my original sentence stated: I pick
> on the bullies.
>
> I'm a nerd's knight in shining armor.
>
> I saved quite a few kids from getting thrashed in
> school.
>
> And if some eesh-type loser was making fun of
> another kid to make themselves feel better about
> being total failures, I'd intervene and quickly
> put them in their place...
>
> And despite being a highly evolved and civilized
> White Man, I have a very strong gorilla instinct
> when it comes to protecting.
>
> If you're a 3rd world douchebag like JBass, don't
> even think about fucking with people in my
> presence.
>
> I will annihilate you verbally or physically if
> needs be.
>
> I also drive all the females in my life absolutely
> crazy. I'm UBER-protective of them.
>
> I rarely ever approve of their boyfriends (or
> husbands these days - yeesh, I'm getting old...)
>
> And if they DARE abuse them in ANY way, your
> getting my fists to your face.

HAHA! Gotta love watching JBasshole-Fuckwit get torn up by another racist punk on FFXU. God, I love irony!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: short was not a wimp ()
Date: November 09, 2011 02:26PM

There was a bully in my high school who fucked with me alot. One day when his back was turned I took a heavy book and smacked him in the head dropping him like a rock. When he got up he kicked my ass.

Another day without warning after he fucked with me I did it again and again he got up and kicked my ass. This happened several times after with the same results.

He finally got tired never knowing when he would catch a book to the back of the head. He found someone else to fuck with after that.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: f&g ()
Date: November 09, 2011 04:13PM

short was not a wimp Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There was a bully in my high school who fucked
> with me alot. One day when his back was turned I
> took a heavy book and smacked him in the head
> dropping him like a rock. When he got up he kicked
> my ass.
>
> Another day without warning after he fucked with
> me I did it again and again he got up and kicked
> my ass. This happened several times after with the
> same results.
>
> He finally got tired never knowing when he would
> catch a book to the back of the head. He found
> someone else to fuck with after that.

Shoulda hit em with a brick, that woulda stopped him for good!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: moreass jones ()
Date: November 09, 2011 08:24PM

geronimo2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yucky24. Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I've always been the bullier of the bullies.
> >
> > Being a genetically superior White Man, I've
> been
> > lucky enough to never be bullied, picked on or
> > assualted even once in my life.
> >
> > I'm rich, good looking, charming and very
> > athletic.
> >
> > People don't want to attack me because they
> like
> > me, they're attracted to me and they know I
> could
> > probably kick their ass.
> >
> > I also carry a (legal) Glock 26. So assualting
> me
> > is probably a bad idea...
> >
> > Usually popular, jockish, good looking people
> get
> > stereotyped as treating other people like dog
> > shit.
> >
> > But I've never really picked on or mistreated
> > anyone.
> >
> > Despite my troll persona, I'm actually a really
> > good guy in real life.
> >
> > In fact, not only did I refrain from bullying
> > others, like my original sentence stated: I
> pick
> > on the bullies.
> >
> > I'm a nerd's knight in shining armor.
> >
> > I saved quite a few kids from getting thrashed
> in
> > school.
> >
> > And if some eesh-type loser was making fun of
> > another kid to make themselves feel better
> about
> > being total failures, I'd intervene and quickly
> > put them in their place...
> >
> > And despite being a highly evolved and
> civilized
> > White Man, I have a very strong gorilla
> instinct
> > when it comes to protecting.
> >
> > If you're a 3rd world douchebag like JBass,
> don't
> > even think about fucking with people in my
> > presence.
> >
> > I will annihilate you verbally or physically if
> > needs be.
> >
> > I also drive all the females in my life
> absolutely
> > crazy. I'm UBER-protective of them.
> >
> > I rarely ever approve of their boyfriends (or
> > husbands these days - yeesh, I'm getting old...)
>
> >
> > And if they DARE abuse them in ANY way, your
> > getting my fists to your face.
>
> HAHA! Gotta love watching JBasshole-Fuckwit get
> torn up by another racist punk on FFXU. God, I
> love irony!


lol, Yucky24 is 24 years old and 99% clueless!

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: friskydingo ()
Date: November 09, 2011 09:03PM

I've never been bullied or beat up in my life. Been in a couple dumb kid fights where no one really won or got hurt badly, just some hitting and rolling around on the ground type stuff.

 

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Colt Ford ()
Date: September 30, 2012 02:30PM

friskydingo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I've never been bullied or beat up in my life.
> Been in a couple dumb kid fights where no one
> really won or got hurt badly, just some hitting
> and rolling around on the ground type stuff.


You sound like one of them there sissy boys.



One time I was stayin at a Super8 on the side of the interstate down near the North carilina border. Some sissy boy knocked on the door whilest I was tryin ta have re-lations with my sweetie pie. I opend up that door whilest I was nekkid and still aroused, he asked me to keep it down caus he was tryin ta sleep. I knocked that boy upside the head and threw his ass off the railing an he landed on 91 Buick. It werent no big deal as we was only on the second floor.
Later that nite the state police and a couple local deputies arested my ass an I got 2 years in the penatentury. They also made me pay for medical bills and the dammage to that Buick.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Your Move Punk ()
Date: September 30, 2012 02:56PM

Some wannabe Latino gang member was harassing a girl in a hotel maid uniform as she got off the bus.

I went over, told him to back off. He babbled in Spanish. I asked the girl if she spoke English. I had her tell the guy to back off or he would get his ass kicked.

The guy knew nothing about fighting, I kicked his ass.

Let's just say the girl was grateful.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: butthead ()
Date: December 14, 2012 04:50AM

.
Attachments:
asskicker.jpg

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Date: December 14, 2012 09:40AM

This one time a spic went out of his way to bump me on the metro.. i'm talking straight up Manassas trash. Me, not being a pussy, looked him dead in the eye as he walked away. He gazed back with nothing but pure hatred in his eyes. As he went up the escalator i realized how much his life must suck and let out a smile, reassuring that there were people below me in the world.


Nothing came of it but it was pretty fucking intense

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Ahmayzin ()
Date: December 14, 2012 12:21PM

I used to bounce at Penang in Reston. I was very good. Wasn't about being a big ogre...I knew how to talk to people. The short while I bounced, not one single fight. I only had to throw one douche out cause he was harrassing some chicks. Guy came back an hour later and apologized. I shocked myself.

Unrelated story..

11 grade. One of my former friends thought I banged his girl. I didn't, but I did kiss her. He was a douche, but I guess I deserved the ass whoopin. The whoopin I received, in school, as my other friends watched. Guy was twice my size. I remember being in mid sentence "..man I did not fu..." *dadoooosh!* (<<<Haymaker connection). The whole seeing stars thing...it's real..lol. I saw black, then stars. When I came to, he was stomping the dog shit out of me, while I was on all fours. THEN...one of my friends decided to pull him away....Gee thanks. Fortunately, I have my fathers toughness and I don't bruise easily. I thought I was gonna be swollen completely. Not a scar or scratch. That would be the only ass whoopin I have ever received. Granted, I've only been in 4 fights all my life. Not all black people like to fight. Okay here's the real kicker though...I got beat up by a black dude, over a white chick...that I never slept with..lol


THE END

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Ahmayzin ()
Date: December 14, 2012 12:27PM

tomahawk Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> One time I made a move on this chick who lived
> across the street, Karen I think her name was. She
> got upset and ran off. Later she and her boyfriend
> Henry rolled up in his car while I was washing my
> car in my driveway with my preppie douchebag
> buddies. Henry told her to go into the house and
> he came across the street, got in my face, and
> pistol-whipped me with a .38 revolver. He beat the
> shit out of my face, and told me, "I swear on my
> fuckin' mother, if you ever touch her again,
> you're dead!" Then he asked Karen to hide his gun
> for him. I think he was a gangster. I never messed
> with either of them again.
>
> Another time I was with my motorcycle club and we
> rolled up on this bar in the Bronx. We went in and
> sat at the bar and asked for beer and these
> Italian guys told us to get lost. Their boss,
> Sonny I think his name was, said it was okay if we
> had a beer, so we got served up, but me and my
> buddies were stupid and we started squirting beer
> all over the bartender. Sonny locks the door and
> says, "Now yous can't leave." Then his mobster
> buddies swarmed out of the back room and beat the
> fuck out of us with baseball bats. Sonny dragged
> me outside, smashed my bike, and grabbed me by the
> hair and says, "Look at me. Remember who did this
> to you." Then he hit me in the head again and
> stormed off complaining that we had ruined his
> whole fucking lunch. Damn sure I'll never do THAT
> again...


"A BRONX TALE"?

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: M Romney ()
Date: June 10, 2013 03:14AM

Late last year I got my ass kicked by a black guy.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: dave ()
Date: June 10, 2013 08:58AM

Once when I was a kid, (being the butt-kissing child I was) I set out to do something nice for the women in my life. I figured what worked for Grandpa could work for me, so I went outside and picked a handful of flowers and wrapped them in a paper towel for presentation to my Mom and Grandma. Upon handing them over, complete with hug, one of them had the gall to ask where I'd gotten them. Excuse me, but isn't it a bit arrogant to question such a thing? It was the classic example of looking a gift horse in the mouth.

At that age, I hadn't yet developed my skills of disinformation and distortion of the facts. So, I spilled it and told the tale of how I had taken a shine to neighbor Sue Young's beautiful lillies, tulips and chrysanthemums, and had extracted them from her glorious flower bed to advance my cause.

Shortly after, I learned via a rather ardent ass beating that flowers belong to those who own the property around them. An intriguing concept, this... one I hadn't yet learned in my sum total of five years on Earth. After the Defilement of the Buttocks, I was made to walk the flowers back to Sue, present them to her and apologize. She cried. So... very... weak.

Ah, but it was indeed an ass beating for the ages. I'll always remember it, and to this day I always go through FTD.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Badger ()
Date: June 10, 2013 11:21AM

I played football in highschool, we had a midiget on out team named Tom. We called him shorty and he was a pretty good dude, we hung out and drank beer, bonfires etc. He was just one of the crew, he did get joked on but he just joked back and could talk cash shit. Great sense of humor, one night at a party I saw him and hollered for him to ( come here ) he came over and said what do you want. I told him to hold very still, he did and I sat my beer on top of his head, I said he made a good table, ooooooweeeee did he get pissed. He first threw my beer at me screaming to the top of his lungs, then he punched me in the nuts.
I fell to the ground in pain and the little bastard commenced to kicking the shit out of me, kicked me from head to toe,,,,fucking hard too, nose broken ear torn black eyes the whole nine yards. It was the funniest damn thing you will ever see.......he fucked me up and damn good too. I have never forgotten that night and it was worth the ass kicking to have a great story to tell.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: stonedd ()
Date: June 10, 2013 05:36PM

I grew up in the 60's near Newark NJ (think riots and burning blds). I lived in a nice neighborhood but it was right on the border of some lower income mostly black community. Those kids hated us. They would 'cross over' the border and mess with us all the time. One day when I was all of 7-8ish my brother and a friend were playing in a park creek just screwing around (yes in those days parents let their 8 yr olds go out and play just about anywhere if their 12 yr. old bro was with him). The creek we were playing was bordered by a large retaining wall (25 feet or so) for the light rail lines that served our town for commuters to NYC.

We were playing when we started noticing splashes in the water. We realized some pretty big things were coming down from above. We looked up and there were 2 or 3 black teens throwing train track ballast down at us. It was like combat and we were taking fire. I turned and ran with the fist-sized rocks hitting on either side of me and ducked into a varmint trail in some heavy brush. Lol I still remember some fat ass rat scared shitless by me running on the path in front.

My brother got hit 3-4 times in the back and are and had huge contusions. Our friend got trapped on a narrow concrete ledge on the other side of the creek against another retaining wall and he really took a pounding - they hit him a dozen or more times. There was a bridge about 30 feet above the black kids position. To this day I fantasize/wish I had been calm enough to run up to it and provide some cover fire by throwing rocks down from up there at them. Crap I was 7 or 8 I just ran the mile and a half home without stopping...

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Fan of the stories ()
Date: June 10, 2013 08:28PM

stonedd Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I grew up in the 60's near Newark NJ (think riots
> and burning blds). I lived in a nice neighborhood
> but it was right on the border of some lower
> income mostly black community. Those kids hated
> us. They would 'cross over' the border and mess
> with us all the time. One day when I was all of
> 7-8ish my brother and a friend were playing in a
> park creek just screwing around (yes in those days
> parents let their 8 yr olds go out and play just
> about anywhere if their 12 yr. old bro was with
> him). The creek we were playing was bordered by a
> large retaining wall (25 feet or so) for the light
> rail lines that served our town for commuters to
> NYC.
>
> We were playing when we started noticing splashes
> in the water. We realized some pretty big things
> were coming down from above. We looked up and
> there were 2 or 3 black teens throwing train track
> ballast down at us. It was like combat and we
> were taking fire. I turned and ran with the
> fist-sized rocks hitting on either side of me and
> ducked into a varmint trail in some heavy brush.
> Lol I still remember some fat ass rat scared
> shitless by me running on the path in front.
>
> My brother got hit 3-4 times in the back and are
> and had huge contusions. Our friend got trapped
> on a narrow concrete ledge on the other side of
> the creek against another retaining wall and he
> really took a pounding - they hit him a dozen or
> more times. There was a bridge about 30 feet
> above the black kids position. To this day I
> fantasize/wish I had been calm enough to run up to
> it and provide some cover fire by throwing rocks
> down from up there at them. Crap I was 7 or 8 I
> just ran the mile and a half home without
> stopping...


AWESOME STORY!! I love it!

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: cools ()
Date: June 11, 2013 02:14PM

cool stories thanks

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: jhVYY ()
Date: June 11, 2013 09:13PM

Somebody needs to post another story

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: altered boy ()
Date: August 06, 2013 04:42AM

jhVYY Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Somebody needs to post another story


Nuns kicked my ass repeatedly when I was in Catholic school.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Kickin ASS in PWC ()
Date: August 06, 2013 04:30PM

I kicked the shite out of three drunk rednecks when i was 19yrs old.

There were messing with this kid in my PWC neighborhood. My crew and i pulled over because I said that i knew the kid. My boys stayed in the car cause they were wasted and useless.

I was pretty big and buff back then. Not to mention crazy. I handled these fools like a ninja! Didnt get hit once!! I dispatched the first 2 idiots in mere seconds. The third cat was'nt as smart as his buddies. Gave this loser a relentless beating. The last couple times he got up, he spit his blood all over me. Turned out his lights after that.

They came back later that night and busted out the kids car windows though. Fucking white trash pussies! Kid didnt seem to care, he enjoyed a good show!

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: t'von ()
Date: August 06, 2013 05:03PM

yo, one night i was walkin home after buyin some skittles and tea. it was rainin so i had my hood up. some fat ass mexican started following me around while i was phonin my shawty. he wouldn't leave me alone so i beat his lard ass in the mud. i got shot. the end.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: drunk in public2 ()
Date: August 06, 2013 07:52PM

A little bitch ass town of Vienna cop pepper sprayed me and then kicked me in the nuts like 27 times before he dropped me off at my house. My ride got towed by willow spring.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: GUN CONTROL ()
Date: August 10, 2014 06:59AM

I was on vacation at Virginia beach a few weeks back. I saw this fat white guy walking around the hotel with a gun strapped to his belt, I even saw him walking up and down the boardwalk with it.
The hotel elevator was kind of slow so I was using the stairs quite a bit as we were only on the 3rd floor. I was going down the stairs to bring my wife and kid some cold sodas out on the sand when I see this gun faggot coming up. I stop on the landing blocking his path and I scream at him "Why don't you go lock your stupid fucking coward weapon in the safe in your room?" This guy starts in with some bullshit about his constitutional rights. Now I was pissed off pretty good so I yell "I got rights and I got lefts motherfucker!" I slam this guy in his fat gut with a hard left and he falls down a half flight of stairs. I took this cowards revolver from him and emptied out all the rounds then I shoved the gun in his face and told him I would shove it up his ass If I saw it again.
That fat coward left town later that day.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: and then ()
Date: August 10, 2014 07:51AM

GUN CONTROL Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was on vacation at Virginia beach a few weeks
> back. I saw this fat white guy walking around the
> hotel with a gun strapped to his belt, I even saw
> him walking up and down the boardwalk with it.
> The hotel elevator was kind of slow so I was using
> the stairs quite a bit as we were only on the 3rd
> floor. I was going down the stairs to bring my
> wife and kid some cold sodas out on the sand when
> I see this gun faggot coming up. I stop on the
> landing blocking his path and I scream at him "Why
> don't you go lock your stupid fucking coward
> weapon in the safe in your room?" This guy starts
> in with some bullshit about his constitutional
> rights. Now I was pissed off pretty good so I yell
> "I got rights and I got lefts motherfucker!" I
> slam this guy in his fat gut with a hard left and
> he falls down a half flight of stairs. I took this
> cowards revolver from him and emptied out all the
> rounds then I shoved the gun in his face and told
> him I would shove it up his ass If I saw it
> again.
> That fat coward left town later that day.


And then I woke up and realized I had wet the bed.....

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Jhgjd ()
Date: August 10, 2014 07:53AM

I've only been in one fight my entire life and it ended when the bully literally ran his stomach into my foot. Good times. 5th Grade.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: former inmate ()
Date: August 10, 2014 09:30AM

Jhgjd Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I've only been in one fight my entire life and it
> ended when the bully literally ran his stomach
> into my foot. Good times. 5th Grade.


I got raped in prison 37 times.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: weret ()
Date: August 10, 2014 02:38PM

former inmate Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Jhgjd Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I've only been in one fight my entire life and
> it
> > ended when the bully literally ran his stomach
> > into my foot. Good times. 5th Grade.
>
>
> I got raped in prison 37 times.


You should have "checked in" gone into PC. You had to enjoy it or you would have taken a 23 hourlockup

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Tony the Tigger ()
Date: August 11, 2014 04:47AM

I was in a car race and I bumped some guy and made him wreck. The guy started giving me shit so I kicked his ass with my car.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: bully ()
Date: August 11, 2014 01:06PM

I was bullied as kid by this fat kid called george. 15 years later I ran into him on a path by a river (shall remain anon). He had the shakes from drinking too much, whereas I have maintained peak physical condition.

I fucked him up so badly I honestly thought I would go to jail, never before had I actually felt a bone snap under foot.

Never arrested so my guess is he was so drunk he didn't remember who i was.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Bill Brady ()
Date: August 12, 2014 06:34AM

GUN CONTROL Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was on vacation at Virginia beach a few weeks
> back. I saw this fat white guy walking around the
> hotel with a gun strapped to his belt, I even saw
> him walking up and down the boardwalk with it.
> The hotel elevator was kind of slow so I was using
> the stairs quite a bit as we were only on the 3rd
> floor. I was going down the stairs to bring my
> wife and kid some cold sodas out on the sand when
> I see this gun faggot coming up. I stop on the
> landing blocking his path and I scream at him "Why
> don't you go lock your stupid fucking coward
> weapon in the safe in your room?" This guy starts
> in with some bullshit about his constitutional
> rights. Now I was pissed off pretty good so I yell
> "I got rights and I got lefts motherfucker!" I
> slam this guy in his fat gut with a hard left and
> he falls down a half flight of stairs. I took this
> cowards revolver from him and emptied out all the
> rounds then I shoved the gun in his face and told
> him I would shove it up his ass If I saw it
> again.
> That fat coward left town later that day.


That is one thing good about open carry, you can tell right away who the ignorant cowards are.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: spit cup ()
Date: August 12, 2014 08:19PM

I got my ass kicked because I spit in a guys face.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: roscoe h. ()
Date: August 12, 2014 10:29PM

Many years ago I broke up with this chick. Two months later I start seeing her again. I noticed a few weeks later while I'm leaving her house that someone text her asking about lunch. She was asleep so I checked the e-mail stream and sure enough she was seeing some dude that I knew. I thought a few days about how I would handle things, all the while going to the girl's house and just doing the most sexually degrading things to her I could imagine. Finally I decided I was going to mess with the dude. Slashed his tires twice, shot all four windows out of his brand new truck with an air rifle, and invited him and her to a party at my house. The night of the party he showed up with 2 huge friends and a smaller guy I had never seen before. Everyone at the party was getting hammered but he was outside surrounded by his friends most of the night. Finally dude comes in, throws his arm around me and says something about me getting bigger from working out. His friends were still out on the porch. I handed him a beer so that he was double fisting and I hit him as hard as I could in the nose. He hit the floor and I jumped on him. I punched him maybe 5 times, three were as square as humanly possible until I got pushed off of him. Dude was out like a light, the girl we were both dating started running her mouth, scene got chaotic. My friends were all like WTF because they knew us to be friendly so they were confused. I hadn't told them what was up. His friends all run in the house and start acting like they were hard. I told them to get their friend and get the fuck out of my house before I shot everyone of them. They quickly realized they were outnumbered and bounced. Dudes were trying to figure out what was happening and I started yelling at the girl I had been dating. I told everyone at the party why I beat dudes ass and told her to get the fuck out. Her friends all started yelling at me and I told them to get the fuck out. Once the dust settled I had a busted hand, bloody kitchen, and a sword fight on my hands because every cute girl at the party left disgusted by my actions. Not my proudest day but that night it fucking felt awesome. Luckily dude took his medecine like a man and did not call the cops on me. I have not talked to him or the girl since but have seen a pic of the dude on the web and he is ripped and about twice my size but dude has a crooked ass nose now, hahahahahahaha.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: NRA 4 evva ()
Date: August 15, 2014 05:07AM

Bill Brady Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> GUN CONTROL Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I was on vacation at Virginia beach a few weeks
> > back. I saw this fat white guy walking around
> the
> > hotel with a gun strapped to his belt, I even
> saw
> > him walking up and down the boardwalk with it.
> > The hotel elevator was kind of slow so I was
> using
> > the stairs quite a bit as we were only on the
> 3rd
> > floor. I was going down the stairs to bring my
> > wife and kid some cold sodas out on the sand
> when
> > I see this gun faggot coming up. I stop on the
> > landing blocking his path and I scream at him
> "Why
> > don't you go lock your stupid fucking coward
> > weapon in the safe in your room?" This guy
> starts
> > in with some bullshit about his constitutional
> > rights. Now I was pissed off pretty good so I
> yell
> > "I got rights and I got lefts motherfucker!" I
> > slam this guy in his fat gut with a hard left
> and
> > he falls down a half flight of stairs. I took
> this
> > cowards revolver from him and emptied out all
> the
> > rounds then I shoved the gun in his face and
> told
> > him I would shove it up his ass If I saw it
> > again.
> > That fat coward left town later that day.
>
>
> That is one thing good about open carry, you can
> tell right away who the ignorant cowards are.


you are full of shit.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: inmate grad ()
Date: August 16, 2014 09:46PM

Virginia prisons are half full of guntards.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Reader of Forums ()
Date: January 16, 2015 09:52AM

Ivan Jerkinov Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anybody got any good stories about getting your
> ass kicked?
> If not that how about some good stories about how
> and why you kicked someone else's ass.


I heard someone kicked wing nuts ass.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Bumptard2 ()
Date: May 17, 2015 03:23PM

More stories please.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: 496 ()
Date: May 18, 2015 11:01AM

Yes, one of the last good threads left.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: jiffy lube tech 22 years ()
Date: May 18, 2015 08:05PM

My ass was kicked by life!

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: oil consumer ()
Date: May 19, 2015 07:56AM

jiffy lube tech 22 years Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My ass was kicked by life!


Yeah, jiffy lube is one of the few places that you can work with a felony on your record.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Beater ()
Date: May 19, 2015 10:39PM

Drunk as shit while visiting a buddy at UNH once. Walking down the street and some dude walks up to me and 3 other people and says, "I rape women." We asked, "what did you say!?" He repeated. So we lunged for him and he ran to a phone booth. We grabbed him right as he grabbed for the phone. We beat the piss out of him and left him laying on the sidewalk. A few weeks later my buddy called and said the dude claimed another kid that wasn't even around that night was arrested for beating the kid up. Me and the two dudes and chick who actually beat up dude were never questioned. Not sure if dude was just weird, had a mental health issue, or was actually a rapist but I can sure as shit tell you he will never walk up to three drunk dudes and a chick claiming to rape women.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: see and pee ()
Date: June 27, 2015 03:08PM

Beater Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Drunk as shit while visiting a buddy at UNH once.
> Walking down the street and some dude walks up to
> me and 3 other people and says, "I rape women."
> We asked, "what did you say!?" He repeated. So we
> lunged for him and he ran to a phone booth. We
> grabbed him right as he grabbed for the phone. We
> beat the piss out of him and left him laying on
> the sidewalk. A few weeks later my buddy called
> and said the dude claimed another kid that wasn't
> even around that night was arrested for beating
> the kid up. Me and the two dudes and chick who
> actually beat up dude were never questioned. Not
> sure if dude was just weird, had a mental health
> issue, or was actually a rapist but I can sure as
> shit tell you he will never walk up to three drunk
> dudes and a chick claiming to rape women.


A phone booth? They need to bring those back but instead of a phone you just have a charging station and maybe an ethernet plug in there. The good phone booths had a little exhaust fan on top too, that would be a nice touch. Then we wont have to hear everyone's conversation.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Gangbangers? ()
Date: June 27, 2015 06:16PM

Beater Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Drunk as shit while visiting a buddy at UNH once.
> Walking down the street and some dude walks up to
> me and 3 other people and says, "I rape women."
> We asked, "what did you say!?" He repeated. So we
> lunged for him and he ran to a phone booth. We
> grabbed him right as he grabbed for the phone. We
> beat the piss out of him and left him laying on
> the sidewalk. A few weeks later my buddy called
> and said the dude claimed another kid that wasn't
> even around that night was arrested for beating
> the kid up. Me and the two dudes and chick who
> actually beat up dude were never questioned. Not
> sure if dude was just weird, had a mental health
> issue, or was actually a rapist but I can sure as
> shit tell you he will never walk up to three drunk
> dudes and a chick claiming to rape women.

So the four of you raped her instead? Pathetic and shame on you.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: willy M ()
Date: August 13, 2015 05:30AM

One night this SWAT team shows up at my place and they kind of kicked my ass.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Black lives DO matter ()
Date: October 21, 2015 08:14AM

Ivan Jerkinov Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anybody got any good stories about getting your
> ass kicked?
> If not that how about some good stories about how
> and why you kicked someone else's ass.


Me and my boys kicked some white guys ass in the Dennys parking lot. One of my boys asked this white guy fo a copple dollars and the white guy said fuck you nigger to my boy. 3 uf us got out the car and the look on that white boys face was like total fuckin panic. He gave us all his mony but we gives him the beatdown anyway. Not real bad jus a bloddy lip and pepper sprayed the shit out of him. had to do it cause white boy have no respect.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: cool story bro ()
Date: June 01, 2016 02:09AM

GUN CONTROL Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was on vacation at Virginia beach a few weeks
> back. I saw this fat white guy walking around the
> hotel with a gun strapped to his belt, I even saw
> him walking up and down the boardwalk with it.
> The hotel elevator was kind of slow so I was using
> the stairs quite a bit as we were only on the 3rd
> floor. I was going down the stairs to bring my
> wife and kid some cold sodas out on the sand when
> I see this gun faggot coming up. I stop on the
> landing blocking his path and I scream at him "Why
> don't you go lock your stupid fucking coward
> weapon in the safe in your room?" This guy starts
> in with some bullshit about his constitutional
> rights. Now I was pissed off pretty good so I yell
> "I got rights and I got lefts motherfucker!" I
> slam this guy in his fat gut with a hard left and
> he falls down a half flight of stairs. I took this
> cowards revolver from him and emptied out all the
> rounds then I shoved the gun in his face and told
> him I would shove it up his ass If I saw it
> again.
> That fat coward left town later that day.


Cool story bro, are you sure its true?

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: longwood grad ()
Date: November 03, 2016 03:38PM

When I went to Longwood we would drive over to Hamden-Sydney and find a random hamdster. 4 of us would jump out the car and just punch the shit out of the hamdsters chest arms and legs so that we would not hurt him real bad but he would still get the beating he deserved for being a smart ass wealthy faggott. One day we picked the wrong hamdster and he whipped out one of those expandable batons and shattered a bone in my left hand and cracked my roommates shoulder blade. We ran back to Longwood and went to the infirmary and said we got hurt playing football.
After that we never went back to Hamden-Sydney.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: right to bear ()
Date: November 03, 2016 04:08PM

longwood grad Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When I went to Longwood we would drive over to
> Hamden-Sydney and find a random hamdster. 4 of us
> would jump out the car and just punch the shit out
> of the hamdsters chest arms and legs so that we
> would not hurt him real bad but he would still get
> the beating he deserved for being a smart ass
> wealthy faggott. One day we picked the wrong
> hamdster and he whipped out one of those
> expandable batons and shattered a bone in my left
> hand and cracked my roommates shoulder blade. We
> ran back to Longwood and went to the infirmary and
> said we got hurt playing football.
> After that we never went back to Hamden-Sydney.

Too bad one of them wasn't carrying a pistol. After he emptied the clip in your lifeless body you look at his face one more time before transcending into hot flames of hell. Your parents tears mourning your loss would be his cocktail as the judge ruled in self defense. Of course you could always say that getting shot was a football injury.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: longwood grad ()
Date: November 03, 2016 04:17PM

right to bear Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> longwood grad Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > When I went to Longwood we would drive over to
> > Hamden-Sydney and find a random hamdster. 4 of
> us
> > would jump out the car and just punch the shit
> out
> > of the hamdsters chest arms and legs so that we
> > would not hurt him real bad but he would still
> get
> > the beating he deserved for being a smart ass
> > wealthy faggott. One day we picked the wrong
> > hamdster and he whipped out one of those
> > expandable batons and shattered a bone in my
> left
> > hand and cracked my roommates shoulder blade.
> We
> > ran back to Longwood and went to the infirmary
> and
> > said we got hurt playing football.
> > After that we never went back to Hamden-Sydney.
>
> Too bad one of them wasn't carrying a pistol.
> After he emptied the clip in your lifeless body
> you look at his face one more time before
> transcending into hot flames of hell. Your
> parents tears mourning your loss would be his
> cocktail as the judge ruled in self defense. Of
> course you could always say that getting shot was
> a football injury.


You are right man, We were lucky we didn't run into one of those turbo cowards that carry a gun. Hamden-Sydney is just the kind of place you can find plenty of cowards.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: right to bear ()
Date: November 03, 2016 04:20PM

Say what you will, or can't because you got shot like Treyvon and Mike Brown.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: Hill C ()
Date: November 09, 2016 12:15PM

Trump kicked my ass

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: ute ()
Date: November 26, 2016 01:00PM

Hill C Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Trump kicked my ass


That was a lovely story and you told it so well.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: D TRumP ()
Date: February 20, 2017 03:16PM

I am kicking my own ass with my total incompetence.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: left lane ()
Date: February 21, 2017 12:22PM

D TRumP Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am kicking my own ass with my total
> incompetence.


Yes you are.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: guy in va ()
Date: February 21, 2017 08:20PM

I was in a Little Ceasers down in Lynchburg when a drunk guy grabbed my 10 year old daughter by the arm. I went into full fatherly protection mode and I jumped the guy and bit his nose off then I smashed his face into the floor a couple dozen times. The Little Ceasers people saw what happened and told us to go and they would cover for us and wait to call the cops about a bleeding drunk that just showed up.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: jtLuY ()
Date: February 22, 2017 01:08PM

I went to a very small secondary school that had grades 7-12. We had P.E. classes in the school gym with all grades at the same time.

When I was in 8th grade, a junior and his friends were in front of me for stretching out at the beginning of class. After a stretch, his friend gave him some shit about pulling his underwear out of his ass. The junior said, "I don't like wearing my underwear halfway up to my neck!"

I don't know what possessed me, but I said, "Then maybe you shouldn't put 'em on that way."

He grabbed me by my shirt and pushed me to the ground, but I couldn't stop laughing. His friends couldn't, either, and they pulled him off me.

He almost immediately apologized to me, and I apologized to him. And he admitted that what I said was pretty funny.

I wouldn't say we were best buds after that, but he and his friends did make it a point to treat me pretty well from then on.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: OP=poophead ()
Date: February 22, 2017 01:23PM

guy in va Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was in a Little Ceasers down in Lynchburg when a
> drunk guy grabbed my 10 year old daughter by the
> arm. I went into full fatherly protection mode and
> I jumped the guy and bit his nose off then I
> smashed his face into the floor a couple dozen
> times. The Little Ceasers people saw what happened
> and told us to go and they would cover for us and
> wait to call the cops about a bleeding drunk that
> just showed up.


Hey shit for brains. Did you not read what the thread is about?
It's about getting YOUR ass kicked. Not you kicking someone else's ass.
I oughta kick your ass.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: It's fucked up, but true. ()
Date: February 22, 2017 01:41PM

Years ago, when I was younger (and dumber), I was headed to a party.
I got pulled over because my motorcycle brake light was out. I was also drunk.
A rookie tried to administer the field sobriety test, but I was on a hill.
He told me to turn around, but I quickly pointed out that I was on the same hill.
The back-up officer showed up and saw what was going on. He sent Barney Fife on his merry way.
He asked me where I was going. It was about a mile away. He followed me there, told me not to drive while drinking, and he left!
Right after he left myself and others from the party rode my motorcycle around the apartment complex doing donuts!
I drank more than I should have and I ended up passing out in a chair in the corner.
One of my friend's roommates decided it would be fun to put pizza boxes in my hands and take pictures.
The only problem was that I woke up. I was really pissed off when I woke up!
I took the guy's tie and went to the stove to light it on fire and they blocked me.
I decided to walk to my bike, where I could use the cigarette lighter to burn it.
I was tackled on my way down the hill leading to where my bike was parked.
They guy put me in a choke hold from behind and they had to pull him off of me.
I told him that I would come back the following day to fight him when sober!
The next day I showed up. I rang the doorbell. He answered and I tried to put him into a headlock for some stupid reason!
He got out of it and proceeded to pick me up and slam me onto the ground.
He did this several more times. The last couple of time I landed on tree roots!
The last time he picked my up and had both of his arms wrapped around my thighs.
Both of my hands were free, so I made a fist and hit him in the temple as hard as I could!
We both fell to the ground. I knocked his ass out! He looked like he was dead!
His roommate kept telling me to roll him over and fuck up his face! I declined.
I figured that I got lucky enough to survive and I was worn the fuck out.

I guess you can say that we both got our asses kicked that day!

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: bar ()
Date: February 22, 2017 03:08PM

It's fucked up, but true. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Years ago, when I was younger (and dumber), I was
> headed to a party.
> I got pulled over because my motorcycle brake
> light was out. I was also drunk.
> A rookie tried to administer the field sobriety
> test, but I was on a hill.
> He told me to turn around, but I quickly pointed
> out that I was on the same hill.
> The back-up officer showed up and saw what was
> going on. He sent Barney Fife on his merry way.
> He asked me where I was going. It was about a mile
> away. He followed me there, told me not to drive
> while drinking, and he left!
> Right after he left myself and others from the
> party rode my motorcycle around the apartment
> complex doing donuts!
> I drank more than I should have and I ended up
> passing out in a chair in the corner.
> One of my friend's roommates decided it would be
> fun to put pizza boxes in my hands and take
> pictures.
> The only problem was that I woke up. I was really
> pissed off when I woke up!
> I took the guy's tie and went to the stove to
> light it on fire and they blocked me.
> I decided to walk to my bike, where I could use
> the cigarette lighter to burn it.
> I was tackled on my way down the hill leading to
> where my bike was parked.
> They guy put me in a choke hold from behind and
> they had to pull him off of me.
> I told him that I would come back the following
> day to fight him when sober!
> The next day I showed up. I rang the doorbell. He
> answered and I tried to put him into a headlock
> for some stupid reason!
> He got out of it and proceeded to pick me up and
> slam me onto the ground.
> He did this several more times. The last couple of
> time I landed on tree roots!
> The last time he picked my up and had both of his
> arms wrapped around my thighs.
> Both of my hands were free, so I made a fist and
> hit him in the temple as hard as I could!
> We both fell to the ground. I knocked his ass out!
> He looked like he was dead!
> His roommate kept telling me to roll him over and
> fuck up his face! I declined.
> I figured that I got lucky enough to survive and I
> was worn the fuck out.
>
> I guess you can say that we both got our asses
> kicked that day!


Thats a good one.

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Re: Ass kicking stories
Posted by: dammmnn, ()
Date: March 14, 2019 05:57PM

Mr Smith Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ivan Jerkinov Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Anybody got any good stories about getting your
> > ass kicked?
> > If not that how about some good stories about
> how
> > and why you kicked someone else's ass.
>
>
> When I worked at Gino's on 236 back in 1978 I had
> a customer freak out on me because his chicken
> thighs were undercooked. He came in the kitchen
> waveing his thighs screaming like a wild man, I
> took a ladle of hot grease from the deep frier and
> threw it on him. This pissed the guy off even more
> and caused all my co-workers to run like hell.
> Then the fricken dude grabs a mop and jabs me with
> it breaking a rib after that he kicks me in the
> nuts while im down and shoves the chicken thighs
> in my face. When the cops show up he is long gone
> and I get fired for throwing grease on a
> customer.
> To this day I cannot eat fried chicken without
> remembering that day.
>
>
> BTW
> The thighs were cold in the middle.


Damn!!!!!

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