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If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: Eric Murphy ()
Date: May 03, 2010 06:08AM

Of all the different types of jack offs, which one would you be?

We've got all kinds of jack offs in this area.

We have the self-important jack off.

We have the totally unaware jack off.

We have the god's gift to man jack off.

we have the jack off that doesn't have a clue jack off.

we have the i'm too smart for everyone else jack off.

But we've never given these jack offs the respect and recognition they deserve.

We need to establish a recognized and respected ranking for these true workhorses of the DC area.

Votes can be for any number of reasons:

the guy is a total dick who doesn't care about anyone else

the guy wants to fight everything with a penis, including dogs, horses, sheep, and any male animal he comes across.

the guy is totally oblivious to the people around him.

the guy wants to fight anyone who doesn't look like him.

the guy wants to fight anyone who makes him feel inferior.

the guy wants to fuck anything with a hole in it after he's had 2 beers and talked about having a shot with his best buddy of all times that he just met at a bar in Arlington.

the guy continues to obsess about proving his manhood by trying to fight some random dude at a bar in merrifield, and even when his friends tell him he's gay, he still calls out after the guy in the parking lot, saying "hello jason! hi jason! i love you jason! hello jason!" and his friends start walking away from him.

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: answers.,. ()
Date: May 03, 2010 06:15AM

Eric Murphy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------


> We have the self-important jack off.



eesh



> we have the i'm too smart for everyone else jack
> off.



pgens





> the guy is a total dick who doesn't care about
> anyone else


gravis




> the guy wants to fuck anything with a hole in it
> after he's had 2 beers and talked about having a
> shot with his best buddy of all times that he just
> met at a bar in Arlington.



mrmephisto




> the guy continues to obsess about proving his
> manhood by trying to fight some random dude at a
> bar in merrifield, and even when his friends tell
> him he's gay, he still calls out after the guy in
> the parking lot, saying "hello jason! hi jason!
> i love you jason! hello jason!" and his friends
> start walking away from him.



inkahootz

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: Eric Murphy ()
Date: May 03, 2010 06:25AM

Wow, that's probably pretty accurate, but I didn't intend to limit this to people on this site.

I mean, I could come up with folks like Glenn Beck, or Bill Maher, or Snotator Reid, or whatever.

But, yeah, this is more interesting. I think I could learn a lot about people on this forum by seeing what category they get placed under by other members of this forum.

SO I guess mrmephisto tries to get up the courage to talk to the ladies, but even after two beers, he still can't? Does that mean you think he's a lightweight, or a nerd? or both?

Yeah, this could be interesting. Modify this thread to be about people on this blog.

I realize now that I was being too broad and generic, originally.

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: WashingTone-Locian ()
Date: May 03, 2010 06:57AM

I'm a Jack off all trades. A Renaissance man of Jack offing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: Eric Murphy ()
Date: May 03, 2010 07:18AM

WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm a Jack off all trades. A Renaissance man of
> Jack offing.


Jack off all trades, masturbate none.

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: WingNut ()
Date: May 03, 2010 08:24AM

If Jack helped you off a horse, why not help Jack off a horse?

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: Buried in Spooge ()
Date: May 03, 2010 08:31AM

WingNut Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If Jack helped you off a horse, why not help Jack
> off a horse?


Are you serious? Hello?

Holy shit!

You've obviously never helped jack off a horse.

Do you know how much spooge even a gelding can produce?

Get back to us after you've helped jack off a horse.

If you can still type with your sticky fingers, that is.

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: WashingTone-Locian ()
Date: May 03, 2010 09:18AM

Eric Murphy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I'm a Jack off all trades. A Renaissance man of
> > Jack offing.
>
>
> Jack off all trades, masturbate none.


Touche.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: Slow To Pick Up Puns ()
Date: May 03, 2010 09:34AM

Eric Murphy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I'm a Jack off all trades. A Renaissance man of
> > Jack offing.
>
>
> Jack off all trades, masturbate none.


So, wait. Hang on a second. Was this a pun?

Are what you saying is that old country folk term? "Jack of all trades, Master of none" or is this some weird city saying?

Don't they call those metitfours or similars?

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: May 03, 2010 10:37AM

answers.,. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> > the guy wants to fuck anything with a hole in
> it
> > after he's had 2 beers and talked about having
> a
> > shot with his best buddy of all times that he
> just
> > met at a bar in Arlington.
>
> mrmephisto

Not even close. I'm the "too smart for everyone else" jack off.

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: Harry Tuttle ()
Date: May 03, 2010 03:23PM

answers.,. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> > the guy wants to fuck anything with a hole in
> it
> > after he's had 2 beers and talked about having
> a
> > shot with his best buddy of all times that he
> just
> > met at a bar in Arlington.
>
>
>
> mrmephisto

Harry Tuttle!

Signatures are for fags

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: Teh King ()
Date: May 03, 2010 03:28PM

Eric Murphy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------


> We have the god's gift to man jack off.

I'm the god's gift to women jack-off.

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: peter r ()
Date: May 03, 2010 03:28PM

Eric Murphy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Of all the different types of jack offs, which one
> would you be?
>
> We've got all kinds of jack offs in this area.
>
> We have the self-important jack off.
>
> We have the totally unaware jack off.
>
> We have the god's gift to man jack off.
>
> we have the jack off that doesn't have a clue jack
> off.
>
> we have the i'm too smart for everyone else jack
> off.
>
> But we've never given these jack offs the respect
> and recognition they deserve.
>
> We need to establish a recognized and respected
> ranking for these true workhorses of the DC area.
>
> Votes can be for any number of reasons:
>
> the guy is a total dick who doesn't care about
> anyone else
>
> the guy wants to fight everything with a penis,
> including dogs, horses, sheep, and any male animal
> he comes across.
>
> the guy is totally oblivious to the people around
> him.
>
> the guy wants to fight anyone who doesn't look
> like him.
>
> the guy wants to fight anyone who makes him feel
> inferior.
>
> the guy wants to fuck anything with a hole in it
> after he's had 2 beers and talked about having a
> shot with his best buddy of all times that he just
> met at a bar in Arlington.
>
> the guy continues to obsess about proving his
> manhood by trying to fight some random dude at a
> bar in merrifield, and even when his friends tell
> him he's gay, he still calls out after the guy in
> the parking lot, saying "hello jason! hi jason!
> i love you jason! hello jason!" and his friends
> start walking away from him.


anonymous eesh post

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: penisius elastiues ()
Date: May 03, 2010 08:45PM

"jack off" OUT

"cockstretch" IN

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: bloody blisters ()
Date: May 03, 2010 10:42PM

it works, if you choose to accept. otherwise, it wont work.

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: cockstretch ()
Date: November 12, 2020 04:28PM

penisius elastiues Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "jack off" OUT
>
> "cockstretch" IN


cool

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: NKYX9 ()
Date: November 12, 2020 04:45PM

And then we got the jack off who dredged up 10 YO threads. And he's prob. a jack off who likes 10 YO boys, like Gerry does.

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: xxfrupxx ()
Date: November 12, 2020 07:42PM

NKYX9 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> And then we got the jack off who dredged up 10 YO
> threads. And he's prob. a jack off who likes 10
> YO boys, like Gerry does.

That's Stupid.

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Re: If you were a jack off, what kind of jack off would you be?
Posted by: Cum casserole ()
Date: November 12, 2020 08:09PM

I thought this was a thread about jerking it. Too bad it’s not.

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