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Fairfax Underground
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Jerimiah Lord, the head preacher of the 20,000 member Impecunious Ministries, has been told by Jesus that it’s God’s will for Reverend Lord to own a boat. The Almighty may have mysterious ways, but in this situation, the Messiah made it crystal clear that the minister needed to get a brand new 2016 Princess V62 twin diesel motor yacht — retail cost of $1,895,000.00.
“At first I asked the LORD if I could just buy a row boat. He said ‘NO!’ I then asked him if I could purchase a used 2011 Princess V62 twin diesel motor yacht, and God said, ‘It is MY will for you to own a brand new boat and not some ghetto junk.'” Reverend Lord explained to the fully packed auditorium of parishioners.A deep quiet fell upon the congregation. It was clear that the anointed revelation in this season of Jubilee needed some explaining.“God has stated that He will supply the cash for the 2016 Princess V62 twin diesel motor yacht. In fact, He has already provided the funds for our mutual recreational escape from the land of LAND to the idyllic environment of God’s blue sea,” he continued.
Later on, it was necessary for the reverend to clarify the phrase …our mutual escape. Mutual, in this particular case, was not the word mutual that one encounters in everyday English. Rather, Reverend Lord was using the Aramaic meaning of mutual which means MINE ALL MINE.Later on, it was necessary for the reverend to clarify He has already provided the funds. In this particular case, God had provided the funds for the divinely ordained yacht via a third mortgage on the preacher’s facility.Even with all the clarifications, within a week Reverend Lord was sailing his new yacht. He celebrated the maiden voyage by having a special service on the vessel aimed at saving all those waitresses from Hooters.Members of his congregation are in awe that Jesus would see fit to bless their preacher with such bounty. Many seek to follow his footsteps.
“Jesus just told me to buy a vacation home with Reverend Lord’s retirement account,” William Kinard, CFO of Impecunious Ministries, mused to himself. “Jesus also told me not to tell anyone.”
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Preacher Realizes Jesus Wants Him To Own A Yacht
Posted by:
Praise Him
()
Date: August 03, 2020 03:37PM
Jerimiah Lord, the head preacher of the 20,000 member Impecunious Ministries, has been told by Jesus that it’s God’s will for Reverend Lord to own a boat. The Almighty may have mysterious ways, but in this situation, the Messiah made it crystal clear that the minister needed to get a brand new 2016 Princess V62 twin diesel motor yacht — retail cost of $1,895,000.00.
“At first I asked the LORD if I could just buy a row boat. He said ‘NO!’ I then asked him if I could purchase a used 2011 Princess V62 twin diesel motor yacht, and God said, ‘It is MY will for you to own a brand new boat and not some ghetto junk.'” Reverend Lord explained to the fully packed auditorium of parishioners.A deep quiet fell upon the congregation. It was clear that the anointed revelation in this season of Jubilee needed some explaining.“God has stated that He will supply the cash for the 2016 Princess V62 twin diesel motor yacht. In fact, He has already provided the funds for our mutual recreational escape from the land of LAND to the idyllic environment of God’s blue sea,” he continued.
Later on, it was necessary for the reverend to clarify the phrase …our mutual escape. Mutual, in this particular case, was not the word mutual that one encounters in everyday English. Rather, Reverend Lord was using the Aramaic meaning of mutual which means MINE ALL MINE.Later on, it was necessary for the reverend to clarify He has already provided the funds. In this particular case, God had provided the funds for the divinely ordained yacht via a third mortgage on the preacher’s facility.Even with all the clarifications, within a week Reverend Lord was sailing his new yacht. He celebrated the maiden voyage by having a special service on the vessel aimed at saving all those waitresses from Hooters.Members of his congregation are in awe that Jesus would see fit to bless their preacher with such bounty. Many seek to follow his footsteps.
“Jesus just told me to buy a vacation home with Reverend Lord’s retirement account,” William Kinard, CFO of Impecunious Ministries, mused to himself. “Jesus also told me not to tell anyone.”
Re: Preacher Realizes Jesus Wants Him To Own A Yacht
Posted by:
all phonies
()
Date: August 03, 2020 03:41PM
but no one is worse than Ron Copeland or Jim Bakker, they are masters of this kind of hypocrisy, better to pray in your basement than watch or go to one of their hootennannies!!!!
Re: Preacher Realizes Jesus Wants Him To Own A Yacht
Posted by:
local nog
()
Date: August 03, 2020 05:36PM
You niggas trippin
my man creflo got hims yacht and take a litle boat like that to get to his yacht, his yacht so big the pic dont fit on screen
my man creflo got hims yacht and take a litle boat like that to get to his yacht, his yacht so big the pic dont fit on screen