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Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: FU Trump Virus COOP Team ()
Date: March 20, 2020 03:06PM

Please put your loved one's remains in the LBGTQ? color coded body bags so they may be interred in the proper resting place for the souls who are damned.
Attachments:
Trump-nose-ear-pens.jpg

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Re: Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: Plan Ahead ()
Date: March 20, 2020 03:46PM

Can we text and Venmo for death certificates? Seems stupid we can't also bypass the whole wills and estate and probate bullshit.

I'd really like to put them on ice and wait until after the Trump Socialism Free Obama Phone checks clear for our dead ones before we put them down with the trash for curbside pickup.

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Re: Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: What is the Trump Virus? ()
Date: March 20, 2020 04:37PM

Never heard of the Trump virus. Are you referring to the CHINESE WUHAN VIRUS?

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Re: Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: Trumptards on parade ()
Date: March 20, 2020 04:44PM

What is the Trump Virus? Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Never heard of the Trump virus. Are you referring
> to the CHINESE WUHAN VIRUS?


Of course, you haven't.
Attachments:
trumpolxxxx.jfif

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Re: Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: Chinese Ladyboy ()
Date: March 20, 2020 05:15PM

Trumptards on parade Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What is the Trump Virus? Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Never heard of the Trump virus. Are you
> referring
> > to the CHINESE WUHAN VIRUS?
>
>
> Of course, you haven't.

^ I see the forum Chinese ladyboy is trying do defend it’s third world shithole country again. Why don’t you go back since it’s so awesome shemale?

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Re: Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: hsf ()
Date: March 20, 2020 11:52PM

Can we just put the dead in a pile of leaves by the curb and burned or use the fire pit. Seems like a lot of work hauling and burying bodies when you can throw a block party, roast a pig, and right your name on the fence with recycle beer.

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Re: Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: American Disposal ()
Date: March 21, 2020 12:43AM

Geez American Disposal will miss half the bring out your dead pickups and the raccoons will have a field day. They miss my yard waste 50% of the time and it sits out all week.

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Re: Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: farmer bob ()
Date: March 21, 2020 10:05AM

It is March. The "No Burn Rule" is in effect. No cremations after 4:00.

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Re: Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: Ms. Mannered ()
Date: March 21, 2020 10:59AM

Funeral Attire: When your loved ones succumb to the Trump Virus, please do your patriotic American duty and dress the deceased's carcass in a MAGA hat and "I'd Rather Be A Russian Than a Democrat" t-shirts.
Attachments:
Rather-Be-Russian.jpg

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Re: Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: Just sayn ()
Date: March 21, 2020 11:20AM

What is the Trump Virus? Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Never heard of the Trump virus. Are you referring
> to the CHINESE WUHAN VIRUS?


It's the trump virus comrade

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Re: Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: Rabii Abe Schlepstein ()
Date: March 21, 2020 06:56PM

Put goat blood outside your doors and stay inside until Passover. You gentiles need to read the Old Testament.

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Re: Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: Sally Too Shoes ()
Date: March 22, 2020 07:18AM

It's 7:00 AM Sunday. The scrawny little old man rasping "Bring out your dead" ran into my mailbox, tipped the cart over, and just walked away.

Fucker left a pile of dead bodies and the cart at the end of my driveway. Somebody please send a hazmat team over to clean up this stinking mass of putrid rotting flesh. The HOA is probably going to file a complaint. Need help fast. There are about 25 people from the church coming over for an Anti-Vaxxers Helping Jesus Beat the Corona virus prayer meeting at 10:30.

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Re: Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: hot pocket microwave calibrator ()
Date: March 22, 2020 11:51AM

This is dark comedy at its wurst.

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Re: Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: FU Coupon Cutter Club ()
Date: March 22, 2020 12:01PM

Fairfax Memorial is running a tombstone/gravesite virus special with a lay away plan. There is a 25% discount coupon in the Fairfax Underground Evening Chronicle Sports section.

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Re: Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: Tips & Hints ()
Date: March 23, 2020 02:11PM

They are running low on coffins at WalMart. On a whim I went to Amazon and found a used Viking ship for the funeral.

My Dad loved that movie "The Vikings" with Kirk Douglas. We just lit his ass up and pushed the fucker out into Burke Lake last night. Caught a nice large mouth on a Mens 33 trout lure afterwards. Dad always said fish are attracted to fires at night. Damned if he wasn't right. Maybe Dad is a fish now and he was sending me a sign from above.

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Re: Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: Family Game Night ()
Date: March 25, 2020 10:23PM

Any updates on places doing curbside bodybag pickups? Just got back from NYC. Trying to stock up before we have the elderly in-laws over for twister.

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Re: Trump Virus Update: Bring Out Your Dead Curb Side Pick-up Hours Extended 0600-0610AM Sunday
Posted by: vhfB ()
Date: April 02, 2020 04:38PM

New Rule: Do NOT dismember bodies and put them in the blue recycling bins. Too hard to sort them out for re-assembly and auction.

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