nobody, ever, in the history of the world, has actually put a pie out on the window sill to cool...

dog-catchers don't exist

milkmen don't exist

pillows are NOT filled with feathers

you CANNOT peek through a keyhole

mailmen drive mailbox to mailbox--they don't walk.

no one has ever actually had a Jehova's Witness come to their door

grown-ass men deliver the paper, in the wee hours of the morning, by car--there is no such thing as a 'paper boy'

no one has ever said 'fill 'er up' at a gas station

dogs don't chase mailmen, bury bones, or have any particular fascination with fire hydrants

there's no such thing as a 'rubber room' and there are no men in white coats

no woman has ever actually 'fallen in' because you left the seat up

no one ever spit on a Vietnam vet

the Emancipation Proclamation did not free the slaves

Mother Teresa was a religious fundamentalist bitch

Gandhi was a racist

the Dalai Lama is not some mystical Superman

there is no 'liberal media'

cow-tipping is an urban myth

no one has ever said the phrase 'break the bank' in real life

the Mayan calendar does not end in 2012

George Washington did not have wooden teeth

Elvis is not the 'king' of rock n' roll

prisoners do not wear black and white stripes

nobody actually enjoys sushi

Garrison Keillor sucks

no police officer has ever said "I'm getting too old for this shit"

New York City is not the center of the universe

'organic' food is no better for you (and no cheaper) than 'processed' foods

no one has ever used the term 'going green' or 'carbon footprint' in real life

cat's don't chase mice

no one has ever used the internet for anything other than porn

Bruce Springsteen is not good

Citizen Kane is not the greatest movie ever made

and, women can NOT 'have it all'
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from experience and against popular belief, 'rubber rooms' are not square like you see in the movies, they are actually circular. They do this to drive people crazy. No walls as you see walls, it is actually a wall that surrounds you. They do this for the control factor.

Mr. Misery Wrote:
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>
> Elvis is not the 'king' of rock n' roll


I always thought Paul Williams was the king of rock and roll?

No one has ever been quakers for bloody blisters

Flipping your collar and wearing sunglasses indoors makes you cool.

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
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> No one has ever been quakers for bloody blisters

Harry Tuttle is a compulsive liar
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...or IS he....?
Attachments:

HA!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ombaPdgP3PA

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W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo

I dance just like the girls @1:28.

I ate stir-fry today...

I would enjoy sexual intercourse with those girls.

Mr. Misery Wrote:
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> I would enjoy sexual intercourse with those girls.


Alright! I know what you need!
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that's the look of a woman about to give a hand-job.

I think those girls are a little too close with each other... Is the Clean & Clear® Morning Burst® to blame?

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Alias Wrote:
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> I dance just like the girls @1:28.
>


I love The Knickerbockers and this song comes up on my iPhone shuffle regularly.

Sixties garage rock rules.

I'll bet they're doing licky-splits in that apartment of theirs...
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NO ONE, in the history of the WORLD, has ever compared themselves to chopped liver...

Bounty is the quicker picker upper

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W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo

yeah i called you fat.

Mr. Misery Wrote:
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> ...or IS he....?
Attachments:

No one has ever described food as "piping hot"...

no one has ever, in real life, said "let's get a bite to eat"...

no one has ever actually put a clothespin over their nose because of a bad smell...

Mr. Misery Wrote:
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> no one has ever, in real life, said "let's get a
> bite to eat"...


sorry, yes, yes i have.

Mr. Misery Wrote:
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> no one has ever actually put a clothespin over
> their nose because of a bad smell...

I have.

I had to re-read this thread because I was sure you had already mentioned this...

But no one has ever made a travel bag out of a scarf and a stick when running away from home.

bloody blisters Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Mr. Misery Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > no one has ever, in real life, said "let's get
> a
> > bite to eat"...
>
>
> sorry, yes, yes i have.

then you are a sitcom character, not a real person. Have you also said "I need car insurance that won't break the bank" or "smooth move, ex-lax..."? Or "wait a minute...if you're HERE, then who's THERE...?" or "Open mouth, insert foot"? Have you ever needed to make up a name on the spot, and you saw a glass on the table, and said, "....uh...his name is George Glass"? You may be a sitcom character.

yeah, fuck those vagabonds!

blisters,

Have you ever uttered the words, "He's right behind me, isn't he?"

Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> bloody blisters Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Mr. Misery Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > no one has ever, in real life, said "let's
> get
> > a
> > > bite to eat"...
> >
> >
> > sorry, yes, yes i have.
>
> then you are a sitcom character, not a real
> person. Have you also said "I need car insurance
> that won't break the bank" or "smooth move,
> ex-lax..."? Or "wait a minute...if you're HERE,
> then who's THERE...?" or "Open mouth, insert
> foot"? Have you ever needed to make up a name on
> the spot, and you saw a glass on the table, and
> said, "....uh...his name is George Glass"? You may
> be a sitcom character.


completely wrong fool, keep on thinking what you want to think. but a sit-com character i am not.

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
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> blisters,
>
> Have you ever uttered the words, "He's right
> behind me, isn't he?"


not that i can recall, why?

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I had to re-read this thread because I was sure
> you had already mentioned this...
>
> But no one has ever made a travel bag out of a
> scarf and a stick when running away from home.

that's called a bindle...a bindle is also what crack cocaine comes in. Damn, how could I have missed that one?

Okay....no one has EVER, in the history of the world, run through a wall and left their outline.

Mr. Misery Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> that's called a bindle...

Good to know...

> a bindle is also what
> crack cocaine comes in.

Also good to know...

> Damn, how could I have
> missed that one?

I was so sure you had already mentioned it... Maybe in a different thread?

>
> Okay....no one has EVER, in the history of the
> world, run through a wall and left their outline.

No one's teeth chatter when they get cold.

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> No one's teeth chatter when they get cold.


mine have.

More evidence of your life being created by Jeff Franklin...

No one, man or woman, has ever said "Hubba Hubba" when they see someone they find attractive.

bloody blisters Wrote:
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> mine have.

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
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> More evidence of your life being created by Jeff
> Franklin...
>
> No one, man or woman, has ever said "Hubba Hubba"
> when they see someone they find attractive.
>


i've done that once or twice. i dont know if i was serious or not but i've done it.

holy cow maybe you are right!

My 2 pesos..

I DO enjoy sushi and

I HAVE "fallen in" when "he" left the seat up.

I have said smooth move exlax

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W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
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>snip<
>
> No one, man or woman, has ever said "Hubba Hubba"
> when they see someone they find attractive.
>

That's shit my dad says.

There is no such thing as sleepwalkers...

Signatures are for fags