Bloody Assholes Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Because he is gay.
> Because he was born a fag.
> Believe this is true.


hey awesome you are
haiku is not your strong point
i suggest you die

When does troll egress
Cary gave up on banning
Trolling on iphone.

Blessed are the murderous.

I have a ball sack
you can suck on it long time.
Don't have too much fun.

haiku master once
you were told that you suck ass
and now you suck more

even though you are
still typing in haiku form
you equal nothing

you cant even post
a complete thought or funny
concept you faggot

\\\\\Haiku Master///// Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have a ball sack
> you can suck on it long time.
> Don't have too much fun.

LOL

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

Saw psychiatrist
Schizoaffective I have
What to do with me

Blessed are the murderous.

Commit yourself now
Or jump off the Brooklyn Bridge
Either way you’re dead

Alias my love
She consumes my heart and mind
Man eater she is

Blessed are the murderous.

fuck i am tired
i think i will go to sleep
haiku wears me out

eesh does not know love
He is consumed with himself
A misogynist

That explains a lot
The world must be quite lonely
behind a keyboard

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

Swords have two edges
The world is always lonely
despite the keyboard.

Eat shit and die, bitch
You're all a bunch of faggots
especially gay EJ

bloody blisters Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> one must edit this
> i am buying a stairway
> to heaven homo

I love the movie
"Are We There Yet?" with Ice Cube.
Was there a sequel?


FU Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Eat shit and die, bitch [5]
> You're all a bunch of faggots [7]
> especially gay EJ [UTFUTF?]

I've tried for 5 minutes to say "especially" with two (2) syllables...


I'm waiting in hell
just for you Harry Tuttle.
One thousand EJ's...

Gay Harry Tuttle
You are EJ's little bitch
You should be scuttled!

};oP
Attachments:

haiku hacker Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Gay Harry Tuttle
> You are EJ's little bitch
> You should be scuttled!

A rhyming haiku?
Your hacking has impressed me...
I think I like you...
^._.^ MEOW

My question is this...
is this haiku underground?
This is so much fun!

}:o)

haiku hacker Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My question is this...
> is this haiku underground?
> This is so much fun!
>
> }:o)

Maybe, if we beg,
Mel will change this thread's name to
Haiku Underground?

Oh mrScary
your pussy is quite Harry
eat a big phat dick







Where the fuck is spunky??

Alias Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Swords have two edges
> The world is always lonely
> despite the keyboard.

The world is only
as lonely as you make it
There is no excuse

Is not a man judged
by his actions, not his words?
the words are just lies.

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wow, look at how cool
> haiku has become on here
> That's quite ironic.


This has got to stop
before this place turns into
Fairfax Haiku Ground

---------------------------------
Who knows from whence he came, and who knows where he goes, dot dot dot.

Alias Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Swords have two edges
> The world is always lonely
> despite the keyboard.


You are not alone
I am your shining light now
The love between us



LOL

Blessed are the murderous.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/17/2010 02:58PM by eesh.

This is a "free" haiku, which dispenses with the fascistic haiku form, while retaining the essence of haiku.

sweet17: Hi
harrytee: hello
harrytee: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
harrytee: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
harrytee: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
harrytee: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
harrytee: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
harrytee: look I’m sorry. I’m just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
harrytee: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
harrytee: No. I’m in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
harrytee: Don’t fucking laugh at me!
harrytee: This shit is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
harrytee: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a fucking break
harrytee: I’m serious.
sweet17: I don’t get it
harrytee: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
harrytee: I’m wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
harrytee: It’s kindof embarrasing.
harrytee: I had sex with a turkey.
harrytee: Hello?
sweet17: You are fucking sick.
harrytee: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
harrytee: so I know you aren’t one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
harrytee: The cops.
sweet17: I’m not a cop i told you
harrytee: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
harrytee: Hurry up.
harrytee: Are you there?
harrytee: fuck you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
harrytee: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
harrytee: When really you were notifying the authorities.
harrytee: Weren’t you!?
sweet17: thats not it
harrytee: Then what?
sweet17: I don’t want to send you the picture cause I’m not pretty
harrytee: Most cops aren’t
sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKSHIT!
harrytee: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What’s your e-mail?
harrytee: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
harrytee: Hold on. I’m looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I’ve lost weight since then.
harrytee: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
harrytee: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I’m not that much smaller than that now.
harrytee: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
harrytee: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
harrytee: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn’t you.
harrytee: I’ll be damned if it ain’t!
sweet17: You don’t look like that.
harrytee: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
harrytee: The profile pic is a fake.
harrytee: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
harrytee: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy….
harrytee: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go fuck yourself
harrytee: I was going to until I saw that picture
harrytee: Now my unit won’t get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn’t have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You’ve done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
harrytee: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn’t hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
harrytee: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can’t believe that cops are after you
harrytee: I can’t believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: FUCK YOU!!!
harrytee: You’d break both of his legs.
sweet17: You’re a fucking wanker!
sweet17: I’ve been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don’t even know me
harrytee: Ok. I’m sorry.
sweet17: No you aren’t
harrytee: You’re right. I’m not.
harrytee: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I’m done with you
harrytee: Aww. I’m sorry.
sweet17: I’m putting you on ignore
harrytee: Wait a sec
harrytee: We got off on the wrong foot.
harrytee: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
harrytee: I’ll eat your kitty
sweet17: You’ll what?
harrytee: You heard me.
harrytee: I said I’d eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn’t get it hard after seeing my picture
harrytee: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I’d like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
harrytee: Well I’m not like most men.
harrytee: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
harrytee: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don’t know
harrytee: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I’m afraid to
harrytee: Why?
sweet17: cause
harrytee: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn’t that seem strange to you?
harrytee: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
harrytee: Fine. I won’t do it if you don’t want me to
sweet17: I didn’t say that
harrytee: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
harrytee: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
harrytee: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
harrytee: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
harrytee: When I start to go limp… you say “HARRRR!!!”
harrytee: ok?
harrytee: Hello?
sweet17: You can’t be serious
harrytee: Oh yes I am!
harrytee: It’s my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
harrytee: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
harrytee: Then you’ll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
harrytee: Ok. Here we go.
harrytee: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
harrytee: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
harrytee: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
harrytee: uh oh …going limp.
sweet17: Har
harrytee: You gotta do better than that!
harrytee: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
harrytee: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
harrytee: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
harrytee: I feel your thighs tighten
harrytee: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
harrytee: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
harrytee: You begin to sway back and forth.
harrytee: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
harrytee: …still limp
harrytee: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
harrytee: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
harrytee: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
harrytee: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
harrytee: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
harrytee: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
harrytee: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
harrytee: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
harrytee: And turn you into a fucking candy apple…
harrytee: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: FUCK YOU DICKHEAD!!
harrytee: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin…
harrytee: Your parrot flys away.
harrytee: …going limp again.
harrytee: Hello?
harrytee: Say it!
harrytee: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

Hairy Haiku,
I'm not sure if that was an original composition but, at this point, I don't care.

I love the attention to detail including, but not limited to, the chat-style typos. The characters are very believable and the work leaves you with a sense that you were just eavesdropping on an actual conversation.

Also, as a Tuttle Authority, I can verify that the "harrytee" character is nearly the spitting image of "Yours Truly"...

It made me Laugh Out Loudly several times and I am feeling very generous...
Enjoy your bragging rights... Bitch!

Harry Tuttle
TuttleBlog



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/17/2010 05:49PM by Harry Tuttle.

Wow, he got a five Tuttle star rating. Impressive.

Blessed are the murderous.

The fifth *Star* was for the under-the-table BJ Tutty recieved.

-needless to say, I'm jealous.

MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> The world is only
> as lonely as you make it
> There is no excuse

A mouse can be trapped
A caged bird no longer flies
The world behind glass

> Is not a man judged
> by his actions, not his words?
> the words are just lies.

Is not a man judged
by his actions and his words?
lies it can all be.


eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> You are not alone
> I am your shining light now
> The love between us

A knight shines a light
on murky twisting shadows
Weasels sleep with snakes


eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wow, he got a five Tuttle star rating. Impressive.

impressive it was
devoid of depravity
a disappointment

Alias Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A mouse can be trapped
> A caged bird no longer flies
> The world behind glass
>
> Is not a man judged
> by his actions and his words?
> lies it can all be.
>
> A knight shines a light
> on murky twisting shadows
> Weasels sleep with snakes

Very nice! When will I see your published works in stores?


>
> impressive it was
> devoid of depravity
> a disappointment

What are you saying?
Why were you disappointed?
You didn't like it?

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> Very nice! When will I see your published works in
> stores?


Alias's writings are already at Barnes and Noble: http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Cartographies-of-Desire/Gregory-M-Pflugfelder/e/9780520251656/

Blessed are the murderous.

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> What are you saying?
> Why were you disappointed?
> You didn't like it?

It lacked imagery
The reader is left empty
Denouement not clear

Alias Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It lacked imagery
> The reader is left empty
> Denouement not clear

I understand that.
It was more a slice of life...
I was entertained.

bloody blisters Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> i wanted to eat
> fish but i thought i would do
> spaghetti instead


Remnants from tonight
Will be found in the toilet
Tomorrow morning

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Being vague is almost as fun as that other thing.

melissa what have
you created a monster
spreading like poison

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Alias's writings are already at Barnes and Noble:

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Cartographies-of-
> Desire/Gregory-M-Pflugfelder/e/9780520251656/

eesh, maybe if you wandered out of the gay/lesbian section, you'd find me.
Attachments:

you will always be
my lover of three thousand
two hundred fifty

I made that post on the 17th and you're just now responding to it with "Alias Shakespeare." Did it really take that long to come up with a rebuttal?

D Bag

Blessed are the murderous.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/2010 12:29AM by eesh.

It's amazing how some people need immediate gratification.

Alias Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's amazing how slow some people are in
> making a comeback.


I fixed it for you.

Blessed are the murderous.

When something isn't broken, don't fix it... lardo.

Alias Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When something isn't broken, don't fix it...
> lardo.


You know Alias, that pic you sent me of you and your husband at Vegas wasn't too flattering. I wouldn't be throwing lardo around like that.



.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/2010 01:06AM by eesh.
Attachments:

check the Ph level on that ass

oh no, i strayed from
haiku format, please forgive
for i am lazy

eesh....the pic of you in your wedding dress was... very gay.
Attachments:

bloody blisters Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> oh no, i strayed from
> haiku format, please forgive
> for i am lazy

you are forgiven
eesh has a gigantic ass
we all stop and stare

you are forgiven
eesh has a gigantic ass
we all stop and stare

harry tuttle thread
makes me want to slit my wrists
harry tuttle thread

yeefuckinghaw

This thread was the shit
Much funnier than most threads
You guise can haiku

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

^^^^^

The milk is chunky
He is saving her from death
Classy tattoos too

______________________________________________
I have had to change the addresses to my retaliatory blogs over half a dozen times.

fairfaxdude Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ^^^^^
>
> The milk is chunky
> He is saving her from death
> Classy tattoos too

One time I did that
To a girl I was dating
She punched me real hard

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

Whose picture is the duck?
I see it all over this place
and I'm curious

i 1 2 ½ 6 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Whose picture is the duck?
> I see it all over this place
> and I'm curious

The duck is named eesh
He quacks in the night, I hear
Or was that Tuttle?

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> i 1 2 ½ 6 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Whose picture is the duck?
> > I see it all over this place
> > and I'm curious
>
> The duck is named eesh
> He quacks in the night, I hear
> Or was that Tuttle?


a desert mirage
confuses the thirsty man
bloody is the sand

MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> The duck is named eesh
> He quacks in the night, I hear
> Or was that Tuttle?

Blessed are the murderous.
Attachments:

It's the blisters duck.
It does not quack in the night.
Geese howl at the moon.

Signatures are for fags

Hey Harry Tuttle
I am ashamed of myself
See my pee em now.

Blessed are the murderous.

No need to feel shame.
I think It's time to accept
you're a lunatic...

Signatures are for fags

I crack myself up
I really do King Tuttle
Don't report the Tweet

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hey Harry Tuttle
> I am ashamed of myself
> See my pee em now.


What did eesh do now?
Tell us Harry, please tell us
of his evil ways.

What deed so shameful
for eesh to seek forgiveness?
PM confession.

Don't worry, baby...
Your secret is safe with me...
What email'd you use?

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I crack myself up
> I really do King Tuttle
> Don't report the Tweet

Signatures are for fags

I disbelieve you
But the same gmail address
Is what I use now

Blessed are the murderous.

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Saw psychiatrist
> Schizoaffective I have
> What to do with me

^^bump^^bump!!

I'd like to kick Harry Tuttle in the balls....just once! He's an annoying little tweep, never liked that guy.

laughs of days gone past

now gay porn and jail cell rants

clever smashed and gashed

fun times Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> laughs of days gone past
>
> now gay porn and jail cell rants
>
> clever smashed and gashed


That's why all the shit started, two pencil necked geeks named Tuttle and Misery who displayed a perverted sense of humor; and became agitated when others could not see the humor in sicko shits.

Tuttle did nothing

water is muddled enough

no need for more dirt