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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
Tin Whiskers
()
Date: January 10, 2010 02:22PM
Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
Birthdays, Christmases and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we
can find the perfect present yet again!
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
You don't want to hear.
Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. ...Live with it...... Don't
Ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such
topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that
way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
Crying is blackmail. Ask for what you want.
Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints
don't work. Really obvious hints don't work.
Let's just say it! I didn't know what day it is. We never will. Mark
anniversaries on the calendar.
Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any
good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your
dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what
we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
Check your oil.
It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
together.....No,it doesn't matter which quiz.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
All comments become null and void after 7 days.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something
...... but not both.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
If it itches, it will be scratched.
Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the
hassle.
Birthdays, Christmases and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we
can find the perfect present yet again!
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
You don't want to hear.
Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. ...Live with it...... Don't
Ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such
topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that
way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
Crying is blackmail. Ask for what you want.
Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints
don't work. Really obvious hints don't work.
Let's just say it! I didn't know what day it is. We never will. Mark
anniversaries on the calendar.
Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any
good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your
dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what
we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
Check your oil.
It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
together.....No,it doesn't matter which quiz.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
All comments become null and void after 7 days.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something
...... but not both.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
If it itches, it will be scratched.
Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the
hassle.
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
Tim45
()
Date: January 10, 2010 02:51PM
You must be living in a fantasy world. But as long as you are at it add this:
No, I dont want to hear what a piece of crap your ex was
No real man likes to get dressed up for anything
No we dont believe wrestling is real
No we dont really like your mother, we just tolerate her
No we dont like women with short hair
No we dont want to talk about feelings or anything after sex, we were hardwired to go right to sleep afterwards
No, I dont want to hear what a piece of crap your ex was
No real man likes to get dressed up for anything
No we dont believe wrestling is real
No we dont really like your mother, we just tolerate her
No we dont like women with short hair
No we dont want to talk about feelings or anything after sex, we were hardwired to go right to sleep afterwards
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
Genevieve
()
Date: January 10, 2010 03:00PM
You guys must hang out with vapid, materialistic women.
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
Stuckwith'em
()
Date: January 10, 2010 03:05PM
Genevieve Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You guys must hang out with vapid, materialistic
> women.
Mattel recently announced the release of Limited-Edition NoVa Barbie dolls for the Northern Virginia market:
McLean Barbie:
This princess Barbie is only sold at Neiman's in Tysons II. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. She despises the traffic, but is sure that someday Tyson's Corner will be the new downtown Chicago! Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.
Falls Church Barbie:
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching velour gym suit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Instead she's taking an online course in Easy Spanish to learn to communicate with her neighbors. Traffic-jamming cell phone included, headset sold separately.
Manassas Barbie:
This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a methlab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about. Her boyfriend Ken works at the local sleazy tattoo shop and prefers her to stay blonde.
Great Falls Barbie:
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Venti Starbucks cup, Visa Platinum card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them. See you on the bottom 9!
Reston Barbie:
This former Dot Com Barbie cashed in her options before the bust and now "works from home doing freelance consulting" until the kids get older. She comes with a huge dream house on a tiny lot, and she channels her formidable energy and intellect managing the extensive social and athletic activities of her three kids, each of whom plays two sports, takes piano and karate, and is on the chess club. A member of the PTA, this Barbie is famous for running her daughter's Brownie troop like a Fortune 500 company ("Do we really have a solid ROI on Girl Scout cookies?"). Her greatest personal accomplishment this year was outmaneuvering the other uber-mommies to be
selected as Room Mother for her son's second-grade class. She comes with AOL Ken, accessorized with a Porsche, giant gas grill, and flat-screen TV equipped with Tivo.
Woodbridge Barbie:
This paler model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She comes with a Hooters uniform, and a bottle of hair bleach. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Select dolls come with prefered black boyfriend Kendall, complete with oversized white tee and chains to his knees. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a HOTTIE bumper sticker absolutely free.
Sterling Barbie:
This collagen-injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the McMansion. Careful taking this one in the bathtub, her bottle tan might streak. Percocet prescription available.
Leesburg Barbie:
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Fontana Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, plenty of hairspray and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.
North Arlington Barbie:
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but you if purchase two North Arlington Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.
South Arlington Barbie:
This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a paint-bucket lunch pail and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not available for South Arlington Barbie or Ken.
Fairfax Barbie:
This multicultural Barbie takes classes at GMU or NOVA on Mondays. She takes advantage of all the happy hour deals Fairfax has to offer. She loves 1/2 priced burgers at Brion's Grille on Tuesdays. On Wednesdays, she gets 50 cent tacos at Carlos O'Kelly's. She frequents Patriot's Cafe for cheap pitchers of Miller Lite Barbie-Sing-a-Long Karaoke on Thursday nights. Friday night is spent at TGI Friday's until South Arlington Ken arrives and buys her a drink. She doesn't remember Saturday night, except for cussing out a Fairfax County Police officer at a checkpoint on Rt. 123 & Braddock Rd. Sundays are set aside for church service, homework, and Campus Ken.
-------------------------------------------------------
> You guys must hang out with vapid, materialistic
> women.
Mattel recently announced the release of Limited-Edition NoVa Barbie dolls for the Northern Virginia market:
McLean Barbie:
This princess Barbie is only sold at Neiman's in Tysons II. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. She despises the traffic, but is sure that someday Tyson's Corner will be the new downtown Chicago! Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.
Falls Church Barbie:
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and matching velour gym suit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Instead she's taking an online course in Easy Spanish to learn to communicate with her neighbors. Traffic-jamming cell phone included, headset sold separately.
Manassas Barbie:
This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a methlab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about. Her boyfriend Ken works at the local sleazy tattoo shop and prefers her to stay blonde.
Great Falls Barbie:
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Venti Starbucks cup, Visa Platinum card, and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them. See you on the bottom 9!
Reston Barbie:
This former Dot Com Barbie cashed in her options before the bust and now "works from home doing freelance consulting" until the kids get older. She comes with a huge dream house on a tiny lot, and she channels her formidable energy and intellect managing the extensive social and athletic activities of her three kids, each of whom plays two sports, takes piano and karate, and is on the chess club. A member of the PTA, this Barbie is famous for running her daughter's Brownie troop like a Fortune 500 company ("Do we really have a solid ROI on Girl Scout cookies?"). Her greatest personal accomplishment this year was outmaneuvering the other uber-mommies to be
selected as Room Mother for her son's second-grade class. She comes with AOL Ken, accessorized with a Porsche, giant gas grill, and flat-screen TV equipped with Tivo.
Woodbridge Barbie:
This paler model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She comes with a Hooters uniform, and a bottle of hair bleach. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Select dolls come with prefered black boyfriend Kendall, complete with oversized white tee and chains to his knees. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a HOTTIE bumper sticker absolutely free.
Sterling Barbie:
This collagen-injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the McMansion. Careful taking this one in the bathtub, her bottle tan might streak. Percocet prescription available.
Leesburg Barbie:
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Fontana Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, plenty of hairspray and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home.
North Arlington Barbie:
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but you if purchase two North Arlington Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.
South Arlington Barbie:
This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a paint-bucket lunch pail and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not available for South Arlington Barbie or Ken.
Fairfax Barbie:
This multicultural Barbie takes classes at GMU or NOVA on Mondays. She takes advantage of all the happy hour deals Fairfax has to offer. She loves 1/2 priced burgers at Brion's Grille on Tuesdays. On Wednesdays, she gets 50 cent tacos at Carlos O'Kelly's. She frequents Patriot's Cafe for cheap pitchers of Miller Lite Barbie-Sing-a-Long Karaoke on Thursday nights. Friday night is spent at TGI Friday's until South Arlington Ken arrives and buys her a drink. She doesn't remember Saturday night, except for cussing out a Fairfax County Police officer at a checkpoint on Rt. 123 & Braddock Rd. Sundays are set aside for church service, homework, and Campus Ken.
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
TheMeeper
()
Date: January 10, 2010 03:09PM
Stuckwith'em Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Manassas Barbie:
> This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a methlab kit.
"a Ray Lewis knife", LOL
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Manassas Barbie:
> This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a methlab kit.
"a Ray Lewis knife", LOL
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
eesh
()
Date: January 10, 2010 03:23PM
North Arlington Barbie:
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but you if purchase two North Arlington Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.
I didn't think NOVA had any of these types.
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but you if purchase two North Arlington Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.
I didn't think NOVA had any of these types.
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
ITRADE
()
Date: January 10, 2010 03:45PM
Actually that one might be better suited as Falls Church City Barbie or Reston Barbie.
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
Gravis
()
Date: January 11, 2010 06:55AM
Tim45 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> after sex, [men] [are] hardwired to go right to sleep
this is scientific fact.
"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."
-------------------------------------------------------
> after sex, [men] [are] hardwired to go right to sleep
this is scientific fact.
"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
Vince(1)
()
Date: January 11, 2010 07:13AM
Gravis Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Tim45 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > after sex, hardwired to go right to sleep
>
> this is scientific fact.
There you...simpleton logic...one "fact" amongst stereotype statements and everythings ok. The list says more about the OP then anyone else.
Registered Voter...a Big talking coward..big man on FFXU...little man in life.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Tim45 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > after sex, hardwired to go right to sleep
>
> this is scientific fact.
There you...simpleton logic...one "fact" amongst stereotype statements and everythings ok. The list says more about the OP then anyone else.
Registered Voter...a Big talking coward..big man on FFXU...little man in life.
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
Go chase your tail....
()
Date: January 11, 2010 08:54AM
Shut up Vince, the list is spot on you idiot.
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
graymoose1
()
Date: January 11, 2010 09:49AM
This one is for Vince, It's ok for Hispanic men to beat their women whenever they want
---------------------------------------------------
W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo
---------------------------------------------------
W.W.S.D. what would Scooby Doo
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
WashingTone-Locian
()
Date: January 11, 2010 09:50AM
Yes, your butt does look big in that outfit. But I would still "hit it."
What am I thinking about? Sex or not being here right now. Take your pick.
No, I don't like what you cooked. But if I were to tell you the truth, I would have to hear about how ungrateful I am for the next four hours. I'll eat some of it and when you aren't looking, I will have that Snickers I am hiding from you in my car.
I'll stop watching football and drinking beer when you stop bitching about your friends.
Actually, there are about three of your friends I would like to fuck.
You have a choice. You can watch Band of Brothers with me or I can watch Band of Brothers without you in another room. But I'm not watching what Joe Penny did to Valerie Bertinelli in some Lifetime movie from 1989.
I love you. Can we just leave it at that?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
What am I thinking about? Sex or not being here right now. Take your pick.
No, I don't like what you cooked. But if I were to tell you the truth, I would have to hear about how ungrateful I am for the next four hours. I'll eat some of it and when you aren't looking, I will have that Snickers I am hiding from you in my car.
I'll stop watching football and drinking beer when you stop bitching about your friends.
Actually, there are about three of your friends I would like to fuck.
You have a choice. You can watch Band of Brothers with me or I can watch Band of Brothers without you in another room. But I'm not watching what Joe Penny did to Valerie Bertinelli in some Lifetime movie from 1989.
I love you. Can we just leave it at that?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
Eschewed Obfuscation
()
Date: January 11, 2010 09:52AM
Gravis Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Tim45 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > after sex, hardwired to go right to sleep
>
> this is scientific fact.
Not true; I am 'wired' afterwards.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Tim45 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > after sex, hardwired to go right to sleep
>
> this is scientific fact.
Not true; I am 'wired' afterwards.
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
WashingTone-Locian
()
Date: January 11, 2010 09:54AM
Eschewed Obfuscation Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Gravis Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Tim45 Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > after sex, hardwired to go right to sleep
> >
> > this is scientific fact.
>
>
> Not true; I am 'wired' afterwards.
Same with me. I usually go off and do something for an hour or so afterwards.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
-------------------------------------------------------
> Gravis Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Tim45 Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > after sex, hardwired to go right to sleep
> >
> > this is scientific fact.
>
>
> Not true; I am 'wired' afterwards.
Same with me. I usually go off and do something for an hour or so afterwards.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
Warhawk
()
Date: January 11, 2010 09:56AM
WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I love you. Can we just leave it at that?
"If I didn't love you, we wouldn't be married".
__________________________________
That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I love you. Can we just leave it at that?
"If I didn't love you, we wouldn't be married".
__________________________________
That's not a ladybug, that's a cannapiller.
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
Eschewed Obfuscation
()
Date: January 11, 2010 09:59AM
WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Eschewed Obfuscation Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Gravis Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Tim45 Wrote:
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > > -----
> > > > after sex, hardwired to go right to sleep
> > >
> > > this is scientific fact.
> >
> >
> > Not true; I am 'wired' afterwards.
>
>
> Same with me. I usually go off and do something
> for an hour or so afterwards.
Me too...like going to find another chick to bang! :)
-------------------------------------------------------
> Eschewed Obfuscation Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Gravis Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Tim45 Wrote:
> > >
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> >
> > > -----
> > > > after sex, hardwired to go right to sleep
> > >
> > > this is scientific fact.
> >
> >
> > Not true; I am 'wired' afterwards.
>
>
> Same with me. I usually go off and do something
> for an hour or so afterwards.
Me too...like going to find another chick to bang! :)
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
WashingTone-Locian
()
Date: January 11, 2010 10:06AM
I guess it beats the alternative....
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/video/article300101.ece?vxSiteId=0bc72527-aa8e-4487-a5e8-94aae448c9dd&vxChannel=Gizmo&vxClipId=1347_SUN41638&vxBitrate=300
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/video/article300101.ece?vxSiteId=0bc72527-aa8e-4487-a5e8-94aae448c9dd&vxChannel=Gizmo&vxClipId=1347_SUN41638&vxBitrate=300
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-11.htm
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
Frosty
()
Date: January 11, 2010 10:19AM
eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> North Arlington Barbie:
> This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long
> straight brown hair,
> archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and
> Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that
> you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a
> Ken doll, but you if purchase two North Arlington
> Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a
> rainbow flag sticker for free.
>
> I didn't think NOVA had any of these types.
"Willow" had an operation and now goes by the name "Vince"
-------------------------------------------------------
> North Arlington Barbie:
> This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long
> straight brown hair,
> archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and
> Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that
> you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a
> Ken doll, but you if purchase two North Arlington
> Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a
> rainbow flag sticker for free.
>
> I didn't think NOVA had any of these types.
"Willow" had an operation and now goes by the name "Vince"
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
Eschewed Obfuscation
()
Date: January 11, 2010 10:20AM
WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I guess it beats the alternative....
weird.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I guess it beats the alternative....
weird.
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
eesh
()
Date: January 11, 2010 10:58AM
WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I guess it beats the alternative....
>
> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/video/article
> 300101.ece?vxSiteId=0bc72527-aa8e-4487-a5e8-94aae4
> 48c9dd&vxChannel=Gizmo&vxClipId=1347_SUN41638&vxBi
> trate=300
They couldn't make the sexbot any more attractive?
.
Attachments:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I guess it beats the alternative....
>
> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/video/article
> 300101.ece?vxSiteId=0bc72527-aa8e-4487-a5e8-94aae4
> 48c9dd&vxChannel=Gizmo&vxClipId=1347_SUN41638&vxBi
> trate=300
They couldn't make the sexbot any more attractive?
.
Attachments:
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
FFxU SexBot
()
Date: January 11, 2010 01:45PM
She's not all that.
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
Alias
()
Date: January 11, 2010 08:15PM
Tin Whiskers Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it
> down.
Good advice. It's awful to almost slip into a toilet.
> If you ask a question you don't want an answer
> to, expect an answer You don't want to hear.
If you ask a question you do want an answer to, expect an answer I want to hear.
> Sometimes, we're not thinking about you.
What a relief.
> Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
> changing of the tides. Let it be.
When your sports are over, take the kids out for a little while. Come back in a month or two.
> Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never
> going to think of it that way.
Good. I don't want any competition.
> When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
> you wear is fine.
That’s true for me, at least.
> Really. You have enough clothes. You have too
> many shoes.
Here's a shoe I don't need....oooh, sorry..... are you bleeding?
> Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't
> work. Strong hints don't work.
> Really obvious hints don't work.
I'm having an affair with your boss. Does that work?
> Let's just say it! I didn't know what day it is.
> We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
Anniversaries? Isn't one enough?
> Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound
> to miss sometimes.
Go outside and use a fire hydrant.
> Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
> almost every question.
Then you'll understand when I say NO tonight.
> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
My girlfriends know that you wear a black bra when you watch football.
> Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
John Wayne films are best left to octogenarians.
> Check your oil.
Now, that's just crude.
> It is neither in your best interest nor ours to
> take the quiz together.....
But, look, we both said yes to this question:
When you're in bed with your spouse, do you fantasize about a co-worker or neighbor?
> All comments become null and void after 7 days.
Is that a pot belly you're growing? Your hair line is receding. I think you have early-onset Alzheimer's. I'll tell you more in 7 days.
> If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
> and one of the ways
> makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
I don't want to sleep with you. I don't want to sleep with you.
> Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's
> genetic.
Fine..... but, the mailman??
> Whenever possible, please say whatever you have
> to say during commercials.
Is your husband a blob? Is there a remote control super glued to his hand?
Hi, my name is Sheri and I’ve invented the Inflatable/Deflatable Man.
This easy to use device comes in various sizes and colors, is guaranteed to bring you hours of delightful companionship and can be easily stored in this color coordinated pouch.
And, Ladies, if you order in the next 30 minutes, I'll include this convenient travel size Man, perfect for hotels or when visiting your in-laws.
> If it itches, it will be scratched
OH.... Thank You!
> Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for
> you.
Vibrators are as exciting for us as screwdrivers are for you.
>A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
> See a doctor.
See above.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it
> down.
Good advice. It's awful to almost slip into a toilet.
> If you ask a question you don't want an answer
> to, expect an answer You don't want to hear.
If you ask a question you do want an answer to, expect an answer I want to hear.
> Sometimes, we're not thinking about you.
What a relief.
> Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
> changing of the tides. Let it be.
When your sports are over, take the kids out for a little while. Come back in a month or two.
> Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never
> going to think of it that way.
Good. I don't want any competition.
> When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
> you wear is fine.
That’s true for me, at least.
> Really. You have enough clothes. You have too
> many shoes.
Here's a shoe I don't need....oooh, sorry..... are you bleeding?
> Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't
> work. Strong hints don't work.
> Really obvious hints don't work.
I'm having an affair with your boss. Does that work?
> Let's just say it! I didn't know what day it is.
> We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
Anniversaries? Isn't one enough?
> Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound
> to miss sometimes.
Go outside and use a fire hydrant.
> Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
> almost every question.
Then you'll understand when I say NO tonight.
> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
My girlfriends know that you wear a black bra when you watch football.
> Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
John Wayne films are best left to octogenarians.
> Check your oil.
Now, that's just crude.
> It is neither in your best interest nor ours to
> take the quiz together.....
But, look, we both said yes to this question:
When you're in bed with your spouse, do you fantasize about a co-worker or neighbor?
> All comments become null and void after 7 days.
Is that a pot belly you're growing? Your hair line is receding. I think you have early-onset Alzheimer's. I'll tell you more in 7 days.
> If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
> and one of the ways
> makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
I don't want to sleep with you. I don't want to sleep with you.
> Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's
> genetic.
Fine..... but, the mailman??
> Whenever possible, please say whatever you have
> to say during commercials.
Is your husband a blob? Is there a remote control super glued to his hand?
Hi, my name is Sheri and I’ve invented the Inflatable/Deflatable Man.
This easy to use device comes in various sizes and colors, is guaranteed to bring you hours of delightful companionship and can be easily stored in this color coordinated pouch.
And, Ladies, if you order in the next 30 minutes, I'll include this convenient travel size Man, perfect for hotels or when visiting your in-laws.
> If it itches, it will be scratched
OH.... Thank You!
> Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for
> you.
Vibrators are as exciting for us as screwdrivers are for you.
>A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
> See a doctor.
See above.
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
Tim45
()
Date: January 11, 2010 09:05PM
Vince(1) Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Gravis Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Tim45 Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > after sex, hardwired to go right to sleep
> >
> > this is scientific fact.
>
> There you...simpleton logic...one "fact" amongst
> stereotype statements and everythings ok. The
> list says more about the OP then anyone else.
I am beginning to understand why everyone on here hates you Vince. You are the Alan Alda of FFU. Always a whiny self rightous pain in the ass.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Gravis Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Tim45 Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > after sex, hardwired to go right to sleep
> >
> > this is scientific fact.
>
> There you...simpleton logic...one "fact" amongst
> stereotype statements and everythings ok. The
> list says more about the OP then anyone else.
I am beginning to understand why everyone on here hates you Vince. You are the Alan Alda of FFU. Always a whiny self rightous pain in the ass.
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
trogdor!
()
Date: January 11, 2010 09:25PM
WashingTone-Locian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I guess it beats the alternative....
>
> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/video/article
> 300101.ece?vxSiteId=0bc72527-aa8e-4487-a5e8-94aae4
> 48c9dd&vxChannel=Gizmo&vxClipId=1347_SUN41638&vxBi
> trate=300
Um...I'm getting Taylor Swift in 3D hawking some Sony products in Las Vegas.... I'm assuming that's not the right video for the link. She's going to film backstage on tour in 3D....
And LMAO @
> You have a choice. You can watch Band of Brothers
> with me or I can watch Band of Brothers without
> you in another room. But I'm not watching what Joe
> Penny did to Valerie Bertinelli in some Lifetime
> movie from 1989.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2010 09:26PM by trogdor!.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I guess it beats the alternative....
>
> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/video/article
> 300101.ece?vxSiteId=0bc72527-aa8e-4487-a5e8-94aae4
> 48c9dd&vxChannel=Gizmo&vxClipId=1347_SUN41638&vxBi
> trate=300
Um...I'm getting Taylor Swift in 3D hawking some Sony products in Las Vegas.... I'm assuming that's not the right video for the link. She's going to film backstage on tour in 3D....
And LMAO @
> You have a choice. You can watch Band of Brothers
> with me or I can watch Band of Brothers without
> you in another room. But I'm not watching what Joe
> Penny did to Valerie Bertinelli in some Lifetime
> movie from 1989.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2010 09:26PM by trogdor!.
Re: To Women Everywhere
Posted by:
amazing post
()
Date: December 11, 2018 10:48PM
Stuckwith'em Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Genevieve Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > You guys must hang out with vapid,
> materialistic
> > women.
>
> Mattel recently announced the release of
> Limited-Edition NoVa Barbie dolls for the Northern
> Virginia market:
>
> McLean Barbie:
> This princess Barbie is only sold at Neiman's in
> Tysons II. She comes with an assortment of Kate
> Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog
> named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. She
> despises the traffic, but is sure that someday
> Tyson's Corner will be the new downtown Chicago!
> Available with or without tummy tuck and face
> lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with
> "augmented" version.
>
> Falls Church Barbie:
> This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with
> Ford Windstar minivan and matching velour gym
> suit. She gets lost easily and has no full time
> occupation or secondary education. Instead she's
> taking an online course in Easy Spanish to learn
> to communicate with her neighbors. Traffic-jamming
> cell phone included, headset sold separately.
>
> Manassas Barbie:
> This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie
> comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a
> Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a methlab kit.
> This model is only available after dark and can
> only be paid for in cash. Preferably small,
> untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we
> don't know what you are talking about. Her
> boyfriend Ken works at the local sleazy tattoo
> shop and prefers her to stay blonde.
>
> Great Falls Barbie:
> This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW
> convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own
> Venti Starbucks cup, Visa Platinum card, and
> country club membership. Also available for this
> set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper.
> You won't be able to afford any of them. See you
> on the bottom 9!
>
> Reston Barbie:
> This former Dot Com Barbie cashed in her options
> before the bust and now "works from home doing
> freelance consulting" until the kids get older.
> She comes with a huge dream house on a tiny lot,
> and she channels her formidable energy and
> intellect managing the extensive social and
> athletic activities of her three kids, each of
> whom plays two sports, takes piano and karate, and
> is on the chess club. A member of the PTA, this
> Barbie is famous for running her daughter's
> Brownie troop like a Fortune 500 company ("Do we
> really have a solid ROI on Girl Scout cookies?").
> Her greatest personal accomplishment this year was
> outmaneuvering the other uber-mommies to be
> selected as Room Mother for her son's second-grade
> class. She comes with AOL Ken, accessorized with a
> Porsche, giant gas grill, and flat-screen TV
> equipped with Tivo.
>
> Woodbridge Barbie:
> This paler model comes dressed in her own Wrangler
> jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and
> Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a
> six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr.
> CD set. She comes with a Hooters uniform, and a
> bottle of hair bleach. She can spit over 5 feet
> and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is
> drunk. Select dolls come with prefered black
> boyfriend Kendall, complete with oversized white
> tee and chains to his knees. Purchase her pickup
> truck separately and get a HOTTIE bumper sticker
> absolutely free.
>
> Sterling Barbie:
> This collagen-injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears
> a leopard print bikini outfit and drinks
> cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the
> McMansion. Careful taking this one in the bathtub,
> her bottle tan might streak. Percocet prescription
> available.
>
> Leesburg Barbie:
> This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a
> pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one
> broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken
> out of Fontana Barbie's house. Her ensemble
> includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake
> fingernails, plenty of hairspray and a see-through
> halter top. Also available with a mobile home.
>
> North Arlington Barbie:
> This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long
> straight brown hair,
> archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and
> Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that
> you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a
> Ken doll, but you if purchase two North Arlington
> Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a
> rainbow flag sticker for free.
>
> South Arlington Barbie:
> This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a
> 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and
> three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car
> seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a
> paint-bucket lunch pail and is missing three
> fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not
> available for South Arlington Barbie or Ken.
>
> Fairfax Barbie:
> This multicultural Barbie takes classes at GMU or
> NOVA on Mondays. She takes advantage of all the
> happy hour deals Fairfax has to offer. She loves
> 1/2 priced burgers at Brion's Grille on Tuesdays.
> On Wednesdays, she gets 50 cent tacos at Carlos
> O'Kelly's. She frequents Patriot's Cafe for cheap
> pitchers of Miller Lite Barbie-Sing-a-Long Karaoke
> on Thursday nights. Friday night is spent at TGI
> Friday's until South Arlington Ken arrives and
> buys her a drink. She doesn't remember Saturday
> night, except for cussing out a Fairfax County
> Police officer at a checkpoint on Rt. 123 &
> Braddock Rd. Sundays are set aside for church
> service, homework, and Campus Ken.
HAHAHAHAHA
-------------------------------------------------------
> Genevieve Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > You guys must hang out with vapid,
> materialistic
> > women.
>
> Mattel recently announced the release of
> Limited-Edition NoVa Barbie dolls for the Northern
> Virginia market:
>
> McLean Barbie:
> This princess Barbie is only sold at Neiman's in
> Tysons II. She comes with an assortment of Kate
> Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired dog
> named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. She
> despises the traffic, but is sure that someday
> Tyson's Corner will be the new downtown Chicago!
> Available with or without tummy tuck and face
> lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with
> "augmented" version.
>
> Falls Church Barbie:
> This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with
> Ford Windstar minivan and matching velour gym
> suit. She gets lost easily and has no full time
> occupation or secondary education. Instead she's
> taking an online course in Easy Spanish to learn
> to communicate with her neighbors. Traffic-jamming
> cell phone included, headset sold separately.
>
> Manassas Barbie:
> This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie
> comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a
> Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a methlab kit.
> This model is only available after dark and can
> only be paid for in cash. Preferably small,
> untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we
> don't know what you are talking about. Her
> boyfriend Ken works at the local sleazy tattoo
> shop and prefers her to stay blonde.
>
> Great Falls Barbie:
> This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW
> convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own
> Venti Starbucks cup, Visa Platinum card, and
> country club membership. Also available for this
> set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper.
> You won't be able to afford any of them. See you
> on the bottom 9!
>
> Reston Barbie:
> This former Dot Com Barbie cashed in her options
> before the bust and now "works from home doing
> freelance consulting" until the kids get older.
> She comes with a huge dream house on a tiny lot,
> and she channels her formidable energy and
> intellect managing the extensive social and
> athletic activities of her three kids, each of
> whom plays two sports, takes piano and karate, and
> is on the chess club. A member of the PTA, this
> Barbie is famous for running her daughter's
> Brownie troop like a Fortune 500 company ("Do we
> really have a solid ROI on Girl Scout cookies?").
> Her greatest personal accomplishment this year was
> outmaneuvering the other uber-mommies to be
> selected as Room Mother for her son's second-grade
> class. She comes with AOL Ken, accessorized with a
> Porsche, giant gas grill, and flat-screen TV
> equipped with Tivo.
>
> Woodbridge Barbie:
> This paler model comes dressed in her own Wrangler
> jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and
> Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a
> six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr.
> CD set. She comes with a Hooters uniform, and a
> bottle of hair bleach. She can spit over 5 feet
> and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is
> drunk. Select dolls come with prefered black
> boyfriend Kendall, complete with oversized white
> tee and chains to his knees. Purchase her pickup
> truck separately and get a HOTTIE bumper sticker
> absolutely free.
>
> Sterling Barbie:
> This collagen-injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears
> a leopard print bikini outfit and drinks
> cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the
> McMansion. Careful taking this one in the bathtub,
> her bottle tan might streak. Percocet prescription
> available.
>
> Leesburg Barbie:
> This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a
> pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one
> broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken
> out of Fontana Barbie's house. Her ensemble
> includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake
> fingernails, plenty of hairspray and a see-through
> halter top. Also available with a mobile home.
>
> North Arlington Barbie:
> This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long
> straight brown hair,
> archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and
> Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that
> you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a
> Ken doll, but you if purchase two North Arlington
> Barbie's and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a
> rainbow flag sticker for free.
>
> South Arlington Barbie:
> This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a
> 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and
> three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car
> seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a
> paint-bucket lunch pail and is missing three
> fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not
> available for South Arlington Barbie or Ken.
>
> Fairfax Barbie:
> This multicultural Barbie takes classes at GMU or
> NOVA on Mondays. She takes advantage of all the
> happy hour deals Fairfax has to offer. She loves
> 1/2 priced burgers at Brion's Grille on Tuesdays.
> On Wednesdays, she gets 50 cent tacos at Carlos
> O'Kelly's. She frequents Patriot's Cafe for cheap
> pitchers of Miller Lite Barbie-Sing-a-Long Karaoke
> on Thursday nights. Friday night is spent at TGI
> Friday's until South Arlington Ken arrives and
> buys her a drink. She doesn't remember Saturday
> night, except for cussing out a Fairfax County
> Police officer at a checkpoint on Rt. 123 &
> Braddock Rd. Sundays are set aside for church
> service, homework, and Campus Ken.
HAHAHAHAHA