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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
So, I spoke with Gerry's parents again....
Posted by:
Friend of Apu and Manjula
()
Date: April 22, 2018 05:38PM
I have related to you my previous encounters with Gerry's (Ravi's) charming and brilliant parents. We still keep in touch despite their having moved to West Virginia, and as they had learned that I was under considerable stress at work, they invited me to come out to their cabin for the weekend and relax in the country.
So, I left work early on Friday, loaded up a few bottles of wine, along with some Indian delicacies from the local boutique stores which I know are difficult to find in WV, and headed on out. Traffic was pleasantly light and the weather was gorgeous, so I truly enjoyed the drive west.
When I pulled up to their new cabin, however, I was distressed to see parked out front a '94 Honda Civic, the back bumper held on by coat hangers. It was adorned with fading Bernie Sanders and Antifa bumber stickers. Shit! This was Gerry's car! What TF was he doing here, and how had he found the place? One of his parents' primary motivations in moving out here had been to rid themselves of their troublesome child.
I walked into the side yard, and encountered Apu and Manjula, and sure enough Gerry himself. Gerry was lying on his back semi-conscious, with a large bruise on his face.
Manjula ran over and hugged me, and exclaimed, 'Ravi attacked Apu! Thank Shiva you are here!'
'Whooah! Slow down! What happened?' I immediately poured some wine to help the agitated parents settle their nerves. As I did this, Gerry began to moan and writhe on the ground. I started back toward the car to fetch my first aid kit, but Apu told me not to bother, balled his hand into a fist, and delivered a powerful blow to Ravi's head, knocking him clean out. 'Now we may speak in peace', he said.
We sat down in a shady area, and Apu explained. 'We have no idea how the boy learned of our new location, but alas he obviously did. Upon learning of our whereabouts, he of course came here to ask us for money.'
Manjula chimed in. 'This in itself is a thing which have become quite accustomed to, but the exact nature of his request for funds was extremely disturbing. When Apu refused his demands, Ravi attacked him with his pocket knife. He seems to forget that his father was on his college's boxing and rugby teams, and is quite capable of self defense.'
Apu picked up the story. 'To make a long and revolting story short, the boy wished to buy a wife. A wife, when he can't even look after himself! Ganesha help us! But I reiterate, the boy intended to BUY a wife!'
Manjula explained. 'It saddens me to say that such things do indeed happen in our mother country. Such barbarity was one of our motivations for coming to the United
States, and we are horrified that this medieval practise should follow us here! I shall have to write a letter to my Representative, and perhaps copy the media!'
I asked 'Now, I understand that arranged marriages do occur in your society, but I didn't realize that it was a financial transaction.'
Apu: 'Indeed, we Indians are admittedly meddlesome parents, and certainly take a strong hand in marriage, but we DO NOT force a girl or boy to get married against their will. And most assuredly we do not do that in this country.
Manjula: 'And of course it is expected that a young man should indeed be SUITABLE to the putative bride; of sound mind, of good character, of pleasant disposition.'
Apu: 'AND, the young man should have a job!'
Me: 'So, you did not arrange a marriage for Ravi?'
Apu: 'My good friend, we never even went near that endeavor. In the first place, we could not in good conscience inflict Ravi on any of our friends' children, or really on ANY woman, for that matter.
'Also', added Manjula, 'Any girl's parents would have simply told us to go to hell!'
I asked 'So what you're saying is that they would not have found Ravi suitable?'
Apu could barely contain his mirth. 'Ravi!?! SUITABLE!?! The boy is not suitable to marry a goat! So, when some Muslim associate of his offered his fifteen year old daughter to Ravi for 5000 dollars, the boy saw it as his best, if not only , opportunity to finally lose his virginity!'
All three of us broke out into helpless laughter. After two or three minutes, we had gained our composure adequately enough for me to refresh everybody's drinks.
As it was getting dark, Manjula suggested that we relocate inside so that she could begin preparing dinner.
'What about Ravi?, I asked. 'Should we move him somewhere?'
Apu replied. 'No, just leave him where he is. Perhaps he will wake up and depart, or perhaps he will not wake up soon enough and a bear will eat him. If he does awaken and tries to enter the house, he will learn to his final horror that I have purchased a shotgun.'
We moved inside and left Ravi/Gerry to his fate.
So, I left work early on Friday, loaded up a few bottles of wine, along with some Indian delicacies from the local boutique stores which I know are difficult to find in WV, and headed on out. Traffic was pleasantly light and the weather was gorgeous, so I truly enjoyed the drive west.
When I pulled up to their new cabin, however, I was distressed to see parked out front a '94 Honda Civic, the back bumper held on by coat hangers. It was adorned with fading Bernie Sanders and Antifa bumber stickers. Shit! This was Gerry's car! What TF was he doing here, and how had he found the place? One of his parents' primary motivations in moving out here had been to rid themselves of their troublesome child.
I walked into the side yard, and encountered Apu and Manjula, and sure enough Gerry himself. Gerry was lying on his back semi-conscious, with a large bruise on his face.
Manjula ran over and hugged me, and exclaimed, 'Ravi attacked Apu! Thank Shiva you are here!'
'Whooah! Slow down! What happened?' I immediately poured some wine to help the agitated parents settle their nerves. As I did this, Gerry began to moan and writhe on the ground. I started back toward the car to fetch my first aid kit, but Apu told me not to bother, balled his hand into a fist, and delivered a powerful blow to Ravi's head, knocking him clean out. 'Now we may speak in peace', he said.
We sat down in a shady area, and Apu explained. 'We have no idea how the boy learned of our new location, but alas he obviously did. Upon learning of our whereabouts, he of course came here to ask us for money.'
Manjula chimed in. 'This in itself is a thing which have become quite accustomed to, but the exact nature of his request for funds was extremely disturbing. When Apu refused his demands, Ravi attacked him with his pocket knife. He seems to forget that his father was on his college's boxing and rugby teams, and is quite capable of self defense.'
Apu picked up the story. 'To make a long and revolting story short, the boy wished to buy a wife. A wife, when he can't even look after himself! Ganesha help us! But I reiterate, the boy intended to BUY a wife!'
Manjula explained. 'It saddens me to say that such things do indeed happen in our mother country. Such barbarity was one of our motivations for coming to the United
States, and we are horrified that this medieval practise should follow us here! I shall have to write a letter to my Representative, and perhaps copy the media!'
I asked 'Now, I understand that arranged marriages do occur in your society, but I didn't realize that it was a financial transaction.'
Apu: 'Indeed, we Indians are admittedly meddlesome parents, and certainly take a strong hand in marriage, but we DO NOT force a girl or boy to get married against their will. And most assuredly we do not do that in this country.
Manjula: 'And of course it is expected that a young man should indeed be SUITABLE to the putative bride; of sound mind, of good character, of pleasant disposition.'
Apu: 'AND, the young man should have a job!'
Me: 'So, you did not arrange a marriage for Ravi?'
Apu: 'My good friend, we never even went near that endeavor. In the first place, we could not in good conscience inflict Ravi on any of our friends' children, or really on ANY woman, for that matter.
'Also', added Manjula, 'Any girl's parents would have simply told us to go to hell!'
I asked 'So what you're saying is that they would not have found Ravi suitable?'
Apu could barely contain his mirth. 'Ravi!?! SUITABLE!?! The boy is not suitable to marry a goat! So, when some Muslim associate of his offered his fifteen year old daughter to Ravi for 5000 dollars, the boy saw it as his best, if not only , opportunity to finally lose his virginity!'
All three of us broke out into helpless laughter. After two or three minutes, we had gained our composure adequately enough for me to refresh everybody's drinks.
As it was getting dark, Manjula suggested that we relocate inside so that she could begin preparing dinner.
'What about Ravi?, I asked. 'Should we move him somewhere?'
Apu replied. 'No, just leave him where he is. Perhaps he will wake up and depart, or perhaps he will not wake up soon enough and a bear will eat him. If he does awaken and tries to enter the house, he will learn to his final horror that I have purchased a shotgun.'
We moved inside and left Ravi/Gerry to his fate.
Re: So, I spoke with Gerry's parents again....
Posted by:
This is shameful
()
Date: April 22, 2018 05:48PM
So many people would like to have seen Ravi struck. Why for the love of God couldn’t have it recorded in 1080p? Think of how many hits his YouTube video would have received.
Re: So, I spoke with Gerry's parents again....
Posted by:
Gerrymanderer2
()
Date: April 22, 2018 05:53PM
Listen you son of a bitch. Stay away from my parents. I shall and must have a wife. And father Apu shall pay every rupee needed for one. You do not know me and for your information that Honda Civic, although it has very high miles, is very well maintained and still runs good. Now leave me the hell alone and stay out of my affairs!
With that said, I must say your recollection of conversations is quite exceptional.
With that said, I must say your recollection of conversations is quite exceptional.
Re: So, I spoke with Gerry's parents again....
Posted by:
rageswar Ravi
()
Date: April 22, 2018 06:15PM
South Riding is very nice this time of year.
Re: So, I spoke with Gerry's parents again....
Posted by:
Good Try
()
Date: April 22, 2018 10:07PM
I give it a five; major points for being literate and coherent (exceptional around here), but it's just not believable - especially with the goat reference. I envision Gerry as a charismatic hot blooded young man who has no problem finding lovely young women to date and marry.
Re: So, I spoke with Gerry's parents again....
Posted by:
Good one! LOL!
()
Date: April 22, 2018 10:09PM
Good Try Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I give it a five; major points for being literate
> and coherent (exceptional around here), but it's
> just not believable - especially with the goat
> reference. I envision Gerry as a charismatic hot
> blooded young man who has no problem finding
> lovely young women to date and marry.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I give it a five; major points for being literate
> and coherent (exceptional around here), but it's
> just not believable - especially with the goat
> reference. I envision Gerry as a charismatic hot
> blooded young man who has no problem finding
> lovely young women to date and marry.
Re: So, I spoke with Gerry's parents again....
Posted by:
Gerry's parent
()
Date: April 22, 2018 10:49PM
Gerry's birth vid:
Re: So, I spoke with Gerry's parents again....
Posted by:
KILL EVERY GAY
()
Date: April 23, 2018 04:40AM
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Re: So, I spoke with Gerry's parents again....
Posted by:
All About Gerry!
()
Date: June 02, 2018 08:04PM
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