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So, I spoke to Gerry's parents again today...
Posted by: FFU Lurker ()
Date: July 07, 2017 11:59PM

I told you all about the lovely visit I had with Gerry's folks a few weeks ago. Well, I had promised at the time to bring them some wine from my cousin's vineyard. So, today being so lovely, and me getting off work early, I decided to grab a few bottles and head on over to say hi.

There the folks were, but I was dismayed to see a 'For Sale' sign on their front lawn. They greeted me cordially, after which I asked about this sudden move.

'We are moving to Wes....' Manjula began, when Apu shushed her. In Hindi, he warned 'The boy may be listening'. He then seemed embarassed to have spoken in a foreign language in front of somebody who might not compehend, but I assured him that, working in IT, I was becoming quite comfortable with the language. Thus we continued our conversation in Hindi.

Apu explained. 'We have decided to relocate to West Virginia - it is much quieter and more affordable; also the scenery is quite fabulous.'

Manjula added, 'and now that our daughter is moving out, we have no need of such a large house. We have purchased the most charming little cabin.'

'Yes', said Apu, 'she has become engaged to a young man with a brokerage firm'.

'But what about Ravi?', I asked. 'Is he moving out as well?'

The parents could barely suppress their mirth. Apu snickered; 'The boy believes we are moving to a fancy apartment somewhere downtown. He is thoroughly ecstatic.'

'We are using a bit of subterfuge', explained Manjula. 'On moving day, we will instruct Ravi to pack his meager possessions into his automobile, and proceed ahead of us to our new home; we will later follow in the moving van.'

'When he realizes that he has not in fact been given a legitimate home address', she continued, 'he will return here only to find the we have departed and the locks have been changed.'

'He can't come with us anyhow', Apu pointed out. 'He would not like West Virginia in any case, and his loud mouth would get him shot by a hillbilly.'

'So, did you just make up a fake address for him?' I asked.

Apu began laughing so hard he nearly fell out of his chair. 'The address I gave him - oh Ganesha, give me strenth - is the headquarters of the Republican Party! I really should call somebody there and ask them to send me a cell phone picture of his face!'

'What about the goat?' I asked.

Apu replied 'the goat is fine - he is coming with us. He will have the run of the mountains - if he is careful, he will have a happy life up there; if he is incautious, he will be eaten by a bear. It is in Shiva's hands.'

'And what becomes of Ravi?'

Apu gave an insouciant shrug. 'Only the Gods know. If you really care, you can keep in contact with him. However, If he happens to ask you about our whereabouts, please inform him that to the best of your knowledge we are in Pakistan.'

With that, we poured the now properly-aired Chardonnay and drank a toast.

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Re: So, I spoke to Gerry's parents again today...
Posted by: Gerrymanderer4 ()
Date: July 08, 2017 12:02AM

My Cousin will survive he has skills
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktVeGMGUf6w

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Re: So, I spoke to Gerry's parents again today...
Posted by: gerry's name show up ()
Date: July 08, 2017 03:53PM

Gerry's name shows up more on this page than eesh, liz, miz and meg combined

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Re: So, I spoke to Gerry's parents again today...
Posted by: Inquisitive One ()
Date: July 09, 2017 01:25AM

When I read the "For Sale" sign I was hoping for a case of self deportation, however, I really do like happy stories and this scenario was quite charming!

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Re: So, I spoke to Gerry's parents again today...
Posted by: FFU Lurker ()
Date: July 09, 2017 03:08PM

He may yet inadvertently 'self-deport'.

His parents did advise me to tell him they are in Pakistan. If he goes off to Peshawar in search of them, I doubt customs will let him back into the USA.

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Re: So, I spoke to Gerry's parents again today...
Posted by: Gerry, please comment ()
Date: July 10, 2017 10:45PM

I go to great effort to produce these hilarious and yet insightful skits, and it's a little rude of you to simply ignore them.

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Re: So, I spoke to Gerry's parents again today...
Posted by: Gerry, pls read. ()
Date: August 27, 2017 06:20AM

I thing I captured manjula rather well...

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Re: So, I spoke to Gerry's parents again today...
Posted by: LOL fuck Gerry ()
Date: August 27, 2017 07:17AM

Very good, wish it was true.

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Re: So, I spoke to Gerry's parents again today...
Posted by: Gerrytardz!!! LOLZ! ()
Date: September 16, 2017 08:11AM

Huh-huh....gerry......

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Re: So, I spoke to Gerry's parents again today...
Posted by: calm conservative ()
Date: September 16, 2017 08:22AM

Why do you guys let Gerry troll you so hard?

You guys are giving him exactly what he wants.

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Re: So, I spoke to Gerry's parents again today...
Posted by: FFU Lurker ()
Date: September 16, 2017 08:42AM

calm conservative Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Why do you guys let Gerry troll you so hard?
>
> You guys are giving him exactly what he wants.


He is not trolling me at all! I love the guy, he is smart and witty and I just cant wait to get on my kindle every day and read what he comes up with next. He may be trolling others but not me!

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Re: So, I spoke to Gerry's parents again today...
Posted by: D'OHnald ()
Date: September 16, 2017 09:35AM

I give the OP an A+ for getting high as fuck and composing that creative and entertaining diatribe. You have a good brain and great wit.

It is actually a gem - lost to all the people without souls that scour Off Topic on the Fairfax Underground.

Please keep writing. I really like your writing. It made me think.

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Re: So, I spoke to Gerry's parents again today...
Posted by: gerry bump ()
Date: February 15, 2020 09:22PM

because, make asia great again

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