I drove past Gerry's house, out of morbid curiosity.

His two parents were sitting out front, sipping tea. Deciding there was nothing to see, I was driving away when I noticed a goat jumping over their side yard fence, into the neighbor's yard. So, good citizen as always, I jumped out of my car and shouted to his parents.

The father cursed, jumped out of his chair, and ran into the garage, coming out again with a rope. With my help, he corralled the goat, and led it back to a fenced-in enclusure in the back yard.

The father thanked me for my help, and invited me to stay for tea. His mother went to get some fresh-baked naan (delicious!) and a few English tea cookies.

The parents then properly introduced themselves. They are Apu and Manjula - they are very nice people, almost excrutiatingly polite, very quiet, and speak with the most adorable Indian accents.

They inquired as to whether I knew their son. They then immediately asked whether I was emplyed. When I replied that I work in IT, the mother hopefully asked 'Are they hiring?' The father quickly added 'For semi-skilled positions, we mean.'

I said I would look into the matter, and the parents looked quite relieved. 'You see', the father explained, 'We have an adult son who seems to show no initiative whatsoever in this matter - being retired, we no longer have any contacts in the professional world. Therefore we are unable to help the boy attain a position. His uncle hired him for a retail opportunity in one of his many establishments, but alas the boy is not possessed of any customer service talent whatsoever.'

'Also he damaged the Slurpee machine', Manjula added. Apu shot her a quick glare - clearly she had volunteered too much information. I tactfully decided not to pursue the matter, for which both seemed visibly grateful.

I then inquired as to why they kept a goat in the suburbs. Apu looked down at the ground. 'At first, it was something the boy wanted in order to assert his cultural heritage. We ourselves felt he could have achieved this by, perhaps, learning to play the sitar, or something a bit more practical, if not to say discrete, but the boy persisted in his demands, and at the time I did not have the time or energy for another fight with him, and thus I unfortunately relented.'

'As time went on, and the boy showed no obvious professional potential, his mother and I then imagined that perhaps the boy might have a future in agronomy. After all, there are billions of hungry people who will always need food, so if nothing else he could enjoy a steady trade and we could at least feel that Gerry was making a contribution to the betterment of human society.'

'As matters transpired, the young man considered that performing any sort of manual labor as a means of actually supporting himself would be beneath his station in life. His STATION, for Ganesha's sake! As though living in our basement is some sort of a STATION! Shiva help me!

'Also', added Manjula, 'the goat kept getting away'.

'Yes', affirmed Apu, 'as it happened, and as of course you have just witnessed, the boy shows no obvious agrarian talent. So now, in addition to the burden of worrying about my indolent son, I am now saddled with the responsibility of being a goatkeeper!'

Trying to cheer the nice old couple up, I remarked 'Well, despite all of this, you appear to be quite prosperous. And that is a very nice Tesla in the driveway.' Manjula replied 'Yes, the Tesla belongs to our daughter Preksha. She bought it shortly after completing her internship in neurosurgery. When she decided to attend law school last year, she moved back in with us in order to save some money. She intends to move back out as soon as she finishes this summer.'

'Where is Gerry now?', I asked. 'Only Brahma knows', replied the father. 'If I were to hazard a guess, I would imagine he is constructing explosive devices for Antifa. I keep hoping some redneck will shoot him. To be honest, I would pursue no legal claim if such a thing were to occur.'

Just then, Preksha's soft, shy voice emanated form the house. 'Father? Mother? The Secret Service is on the phone again. You have to go get Gerry, or they're going to arrest him.'

Apu looked sadly at me. 'You see what Gerry is putting us through? If it weren't for the social dishonor such a thing would ential, I would gladly let the gentlemen of the Secret Service do their damndest - lock him up, break his fingers,a nd so on. But no - Indian tradition demands that I rescue the moron. Thank you, and do come again!

So it is as we all suspected, Gerry is the black sheep of the family.

Cool story bro. All of that writing and you still can't explain why Trump fired Comey.

I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. I didn't discuss Comey or Trump (of whom I am not a fan incidentally) for the simple reason that they weren't at your house. Neither were you. Just Apu, Manjula, and Preksha. Also your goat, once we got him reined in. Prekshas's cute, BTW - unfortunately just a bit out of my league....

Hope your gas mask was on like father like son, the curry smell.

Gunlover Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hope your gas mask was on like father like son,
> the curry smell.

That wasn't curry.....

Gerrymanderer2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> you still
> can't explain why Trump fired Comey.

No explanation is necessary. The Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation serves at the pleasure of the President of the United States of America. Om 9 May of this year, it was the pleasure of said President of the United States of America that Mr. James Comey no longer serve as Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

I almost kept his job....
Attachments:

anti-flood miz

Barnyard Bill Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So it is as we all suspected, Gerry is fucks the black
> sheep of the family.

FIFY

Mr. Fix-it Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Barnyard Bill Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > So it is as we all suspected, Gerry is
> fucks the black
> > sheep of the family.
>
> FIFY


Thanks for fixing it for me.

That could well be one of the reasons the damn thing keeps trying to get away. But that is hardly a matter I was about to discuss with his sweet parents.

You should have told your bro not to shit on the street corner, Gerry!!!!
Attachments:

all the outdoor pooping is right up her alley!

Thank you, come again!

I aaam thiiinking theese ees not fuunnyy.
Attachments:

Why do you guys let Gerry troll you so hard?

hEY rAVI...WE ARE TROLLING YOU!!!! lol!

edited 200 times(s) by covfefe

'Also he damaged the Slurpee machine', Manjula added

I'm bumping it in case anyone missed it.

It runs much better now.




edited 300 times(s) by covfefe

learn about gerry's perfectly nice, decent parents.

goatfuckerer

Please don't blame his parents - they did everything they could.

You have some mental issues. See a good doctor.

You get a job, move out of your parents' basement, and get help with your coping issues, and then we can explore my compulsive writing problem.

because, PYBR