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Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: September 04, 2009 11:36PM

The newest fitness gizmo - The Neckline Slimmer. Pretty fucking retarded, described as a pogo stick for your chin.



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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: Thurston Moore ()
Date: September 04, 2009 11:38PM

Fat ladies in house dresses watching TV all day will buy just about anything.

Especially if at the end of the commercial they say "Call within the next 10 minutes and get a free [whatever]"

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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: September 04, 2009 11:39PM

What I want to know is what they mean by "introductory price."

Blessed are the murderous.

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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: Thurston Moore ()
Date: September 04, 2009 11:54PM

Direct response advertisers are a tricky bunch.

They use all kinds of wordings and phrases to try to fool the dumb folks that are inclined to buy something off TV.

"limited time offer" -- don't stop to think about buying this, just do it before the offer is rescinded.

"introductory price" -- if you wait, the price is going to go up.

"it's not $99, it's not $89, and no, it's not even $79! It's 3 easy payments of $19.95!" -- we threw a bunch of numbers at you so fast, you didn't realize you're buying a trinket for $60, and even if you did, you'd be excited that you saved $40!

I can't remember all the other silly things they put on those commercials, but they're endless.

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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: September 05, 2009 10:34AM

Looks like some sort of blowjob training apparatus.

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: Offended Parent ()
Date: September 05, 2009 10:55AM

MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Looks like some sort of blowjob training
> apparatus.


Can you go one thread without some crude sexual reference that objectifies women? My young daughter reads this site and she doesn't need to be reading messages by corrupt people like you.

You have one hour to remove that post or I will request that you be banned from this site.

The hour starts NOW.

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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: TheMeeper ()
Date: September 05, 2009 10:58AM

Yeah, fuck you Mephisto you foul mouthed cunt! Watch your fuckin language asshole!!

Offended Parent Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Can you go one thread without some crude sexual
> reference that objectifies women? My young
> daughter reads this site and she doesn't need to
> be reading messages by corrupt people like you.
>
> You have one hour to remove that post or I will
> request that you be banned from this site.
>
> The hour starts NOW.

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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: thats fuuny ()
Date: September 05, 2009 11:09AM

The hour starts NOW.

NOW that's funny

Offended Parent wants to put Mephisto in timeout. Ever heard of parental controls? That might solve your problem.

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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: Abdul Disease ()
Date: September 05, 2009 11:19AM

No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence and gullibility of the American population. Just look at what's in the White House if you need proof.

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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: Numbers ()
Date: September 05, 2009 01:08PM

MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Looks like some sort of blowjob training
> apparatus.


Now THAT is something many women could benefit from.

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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: September 05, 2009 02:54PM

Abdul Disease Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> No one ever went broke underestimating the
> intelligence and gullibility of the American
> population. Just look at what's in the White House
> if you need proof.



Jesus fucking Christ. I can't even start a thread on a stupid infomercial without someone turning it into a political statement.

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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: September 05, 2009 02:59PM

MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Looks like some sort of blowjob training
> apparatus.





No training needed, just give her one of these:






.
Attachments:
ring gag.jpg

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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: September 05, 2009 05:13PM

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> MrMephisto Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Looks like some sort of blowjob training
> > apparatus.
>
> No training needed, just give her one of these:

If I wanted to fuck a loose, slightly-moist hole that just kinda sits there, I'd find one of Inkahootz's ex-girlfriends.

Nope. Blowjob training apparatus ftw.

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: September 05, 2009 06:12PM

MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> If I wanted to fuck a loose, slightly-moist hole
> that just kinda sits there, I'd find one of
> Inkahootz's ex-girlfriends.
>



Agreed, all that fisting = Stretched out, saggy pussy lips.

Blessed are the murderous.

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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: Vince(1) ()
Date: September 05, 2009 11:15PM

Well..this thread is about as uplifting healthcare open house meeting.

Registered Voter...a Big talking coward..big man on FFXU...little man in life.

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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: Thurston Moore ()
Date: September 06, 2009 02:25AM

Offended Parent Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> MrMephisto Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Looks like some sort of blowjob training
> > apparatus.
>
>
> Can you go one thread without some crude sexual
> reference that objectifies women? My young
> daughter reads this site and she doesn't need to
> be reading messages by corrupt people like you.
>
> You have one hour to remove that post or I will
> request that you be banned from this site.
>
> The hour starts NOW.


The hour actually started AGAINST you.

You see, it is the parent's responsibility to protect their children from content that is inappropriate. It isn't the world's responsibility to never have discussions that children shouldn't be exposed to.

You failed as a parent when you allowed your child to view a discussion that was inappropriate.

You should call ashcraft and gerel or whatever the fuck their names are, and try to sue this website.

That would be so fucking amusing.

And to just drive the message home, I've called Child Protective Services, and they will be at your home on Tuesday, and your kids will be placed in foster homes, to keep them safe from a parent who would allow them access to the internet absent any restrictions other than "if you see shit you aren't supposed to, we'll blame it on the people who posted it".

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The function of conservatives is not to meet every liberal program or scheme with a denunciation or a destructive counterscheme, but rather to weigh its advantages and defects, supporting the first and challenging the second. A declaration of ideological warfare against liberalism is by its nature profoundly unconservative. It meets perceived radicalism with a counterradicalism of its own.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/06/2009 02:30AM by Thurston Moore.

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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: Genevieve ()
Date: September 06, 2009 03:30PM

Couldn't you just put your hand under your chin to provide resistance?

And Mr. Mephisto, the "neckline slimmer" appears to use an up/down movement. This hypothetical trainer you are referring to would require a forward/backwards movement. Not to mention something to acclimate to keeping your mouth open for long periods of time while simultaneously covering your teeth.

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Re: Neckline Slimmer WTF?
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: September 06, 2009 06:10PM

I'm pretty sure that the same muscles are used for both movements. Plus, a machine that exercised your neck in the appropriate back and forth manner you mentioned would look retarded, and therefore un-sellable.

--------------------------------------------------------------
13 4826 0948 82695 25847. Yes.

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