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I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Just A John ()
Date: December 29, 2015 05:31PM

So the other day I really needed to get some relief, and none of my usual girls were around, so I went trolling through escort ads. I found a pretty unattractive hambeast, but man, offering full service for $50, I couldn't beat that. It got pretty weird.

First off she turns tricks out of her car. Apparently that's where she lives. OK, that's weird enough, but weirder still she's got a little black kid in the back seat. She's white (except for the blue hair). So anyway, she tells me to "bag up" and hands me some condoms. One look at her, and I knew I was triple bagging it. Then she hands me a clothespin. "What's this for," I say. "Just put it on your nose," she says, and as she spread apart her thighs, the stench from her nearly prolapsed purple asshole and her stench trench was so bad, I stuck that thing right on my nose. She says to ignore the kid, that he'll just play with his toys while she services me. Of course, all the "toys" he has are completely age-inappropriate: a rattle, some used condoms, one of those shit dollar store Android phones with a busted screen. Oh well. I start going at it, and of course, the kid's just watching me and worse he keeps critiquing my peformance and trying to give me helpful hints. "Go for guts, man," he says. "Stick your finger in her butt, she likes that." (I tried, but there was some kind of tail thing already stuck in there.) "Pull her hair and slap her." Finally she gets really pissed at this, and yells, "You fucking nigger, it's going out the window," and grabs the phone and throws it out the window. "Didn't your dad buy you that," he asks. By now she's bucking pretty good, which is nice, because that vagoo was so stretched out it was like throwing a hotdog down a hallway. A wise man once said:

When it comes to sex,
It's all about constriction.
I'm just looking for a ho
That'll give me some friction.

Well, I wasn't getting any friction from this hambeast, but the way she bucked around and screamed kind of did it for me eventually. I pulled out and whipped off all three condoms intending to blow my load in her face. "No!" she says, "You'll mess up muh makeup!" Well, I didn't know she had any makeup on--I thought her face was just all jacked up. I offered her a shiny quarter if I could bust a nut in her face, and her eyes lit up and she agreed. I dumped my load in her face, and got the fuck out of there.

Overall a bad experience, but not a bad nut for ten fins and a quarter.

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Yehuti Peutiepäntz ()
Date: December 29, 2015 09:55PM

Oh, that's just nasty.

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Hambeastiality ()
Date: December 25, 2016 07:29PM

It's been almost a year, anybody else bang out a squishy hambeast?

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Hambeast ()
Date: December 25, 2016 08:46PM

Christmas from WalMart




#frugalspending #budgetstyle




-
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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Save the Hambeasts ()
Date: January 12, 2019 12:34PM

Sometimes when I am sad I pull this post up and laugh at it.

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Hambeast Hunting ()
Date: January 12, 2019 01:18PM

Thanks, I must have missed this one when it was originally posted.
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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Be ashamed ()
Date: January 12, 2019 01:37PM

That's pretty fucking disgusting, OP. I hope you feel bad. You need to get checked for STDs. I think that beast has herpochlamyarrheaids.

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Son we Need to Talk ()
Date: January 13, 2019 08:00AM

If you fuck this. You'll get this.
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cockCheese5.jpeg
CockCheese1.jpg

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Just say no to hambeasts ()
Date: January 13, 2019 10:33AM

Hambeasts: not even once.

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: jxwmk ()
Date: January 13, 2019 07:01PM

Ugh, that looks like a yeastbeast.

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: January 13, 2019 07:06PM

This is what happens to Hambeast titties after middle age.


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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Love em thick n dumb ()
Date: January 14, 2019 12:32AM

Yum yum!
Attachments:
perfect-boob-compilation-2-8.jpg

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Melty Man ()
Date: January 14, 2019 11:34AM

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! It's like her tiddies are melting.

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: holy melting tatas1 ()
Date: January 14, 2019 11:50AM

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is what happens to Hambeast titties after
> middle age.
>
>
> -

WTF is wrong with those things? Did they always look like that? She needs some serious plastic surgery!

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Enquiring Minds ()
Date: January 14, 2019 11:52AM

holy melting tatas1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> eesh Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > This is what happens to Hambeast titties after
> > middle age.
> >
> >
> > -
>
> WTF is wrong with those things? Did they always
> look like that? She needs some serious plastic
> surgery!


We all know what is really important here and it ain't about her titties...

What is her Uber passenger rating?

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Calling a spade a spade ()
Date: January 14, 2019 11:54AM

This is a MILF, not a HAMBEAST.
Attachments:
perfect-boob-compilation-2-8.jpg

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Porker Porker ()
Date: January 14, 2019 01:24PM

I'm not gonna lie. That chick in the Walmart ad is actually kinda hot. Really cute face. Those legs are probably a real tragedy, but I wouldn't mind hitting it from behind and sinking into that juicy booty. At least her face looks nice and doesn't have makeup incompetently slathered all over it like that rat-faced ho pictured earlier in the thread. That shit is nas-TAY!

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Walmart Sow ()
Date: January 14, 2019 01:29PM

Porker Porker Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm not gonna lie. That chick in the Walmart ad is
> actually kinda hot. Really cute face. Those legs
> are probably a real tragedy, but I wouldn't mind
> hitting it from behind and sinking into that juicy
> booty. At least her face looks nice and doesn't
> have makeup incompetently slathered all over it
> like that rat-faced ho pictured earlier in the
> thread. That shit is nas-TAY!

She does have a cute face, but so does a fucking manatee. That sow is a disgusting waste of humanity.

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Spent piece of Walmart Trash ()
Date: January 14, 2019 01:50PM

Walmart Sow Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Porker Porker Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I'm not gonna lie. That chick in the Walmart ad
> is
> > actually kinda hot. Really cute face. Those
> legs
> > are probably a real tragedy, but I wouldn't
> mind
> > hitting it from behind and sinking into that
> juicy
> > booty. At least her face looks nice and doesn't
> > have makeup incompetently slathered all over it
> > like that rat-faced ho pictured earlier in the
> > thread. That shit is nas-TAY!
>
> She does have a cute face, but so does a fucking
> manatee. That sow is a disgusting waste of
> humanity.


At Walmart, this is the type of Hambeast that is considered a catch....

I don't shop at fucking Walmart.
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megann.jpeg

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Blasto from the pasto ()
Date: May 24, 2019 09:31AM

I love re-reading OP's post every now and then.

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Giverer of suggestions ()
Date: May 24, 2019 10:30AM

You don't screw the fat hoes. But you do go to the fat ones if you want a Dominatrix. Fat Dominatrixes are the best.

If they force fem you, their lingerie fits you, so if you don't know where to buy some real femmy lingerie, they do, since it's part of their business. or if you're too embarrassed to buy it, they aren't.


They have ample laps and can support you when they put you over their knee for a spanking. They can spank you in a regular chair instead of on the couch or bed. An average built or skinny Dominatrix needs a couch or bed for most guys.

The flabby thighs make something good to rub against during a bare bottom spanking and when you cum, it makes a pool for her to make you lick up.


So, today's lesson is if you want one to bang, get one in good to average shape. If you want a spanking, go with the fat chick.

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Dude you're a dork ()
Date: May 24, 2019 11:59AM

Giverer of suggestions Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You don't screw the fat hoes. But you do go to
> the fat ones if you want a Dominatrix. Fat
> Dominatrixes are the best.
>
> If they force fem you, their lingerie fits you, so
> if you don't know where to buy some real femmy
> lingerie, they do, since it's part of their
> business. or if you're too embarrassed to buy it,
> they aren't.
>
>
> They have ample laps and can support you when they
> put you over their knee for a spanking. They can
> spank you in a regular chair instead of on the
> couch or bed. An average built or skinny
> Dominatrix needs a couch or bed for most guys.
>
> The flabby thighs make something good to rub
> against during a bare bottom spanking and when you
> cum, it makes a pool for her to make you lick up.
>
>
> So, today's lesson is if you want one to bang, get
> one in good to average shape. If you want a
> spanking, go with the fat chick.

Whoah dude, don't you have some important Rolling Thunder shit to do?

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Giverer of suggestions ()
Date: May 24, 2019 01:51PM

Dude you're a dork Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Giverer of suggestions Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > You don't screw the fat hoes. But you do go to
> > the fat ones if you want a Dominatrix. Fat
> > Dominatrixes are the best.
> >
> > If they force fem you, their lingerie fits you,
> so
> > if you don't know where to buy some real femmy
> > lingerie, they do, since it's part of their
> > business. or if you're too embarrassed to buy
> it,
> > they aren't.
> >
> >
> > They have ample laps and can support you when
> they
> > put you over their knee for a spanking. They
> can
> > spank you in a regular chair instead of on the
> > couch or bed. An average built or skinny
> > Dominatrix needs a couch or bed for most guys.
> >
> > The flabby thighs make something good to rub
> > against during a bare bottom spanking and when
> you
> > cum, it makes a pool for her to make you lick
> up.
> >
> >
> > So, today's lesson is if you want one to bang,
> get
> > one in good to average shape. If you want a
> > spanking, go with the fat chick.
>
> Whoah dude, don't you have some important Rolling
> Thunder shit to do?


I don't know how to ride a motorcycle. If I did, I wouldn't bee seeing pro Dominatrixes from time to time. Hoes and Domninatrixes cost a l ot of money, which doesn't leave much room for a motorcycle.

What a maroon!

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: INterested party ()
Date: August 11, 2019 02:19PM

Sounds like a fun ride. Anyone know where I can hook up with this hambeast?

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Leslie Malm ()
Date: August 11, 2019 05:09PM

I’m here, big boy!
Attachments:
107B2AD8-3318-4898-9B5B-9B1105345EF3.jpeg

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: Hamfucker ()
Date: September 17, 2019 10:35AM

So, is this beast still in business?

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Re: I fucked a hambeast
Posted by: But can she do this ()
Date: September 17, 2019 10:38AM

Reminds me of this:
Attachments:
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