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Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
Itoldyouso
()
Date: March 18, 2015 05:56PM
Republicans in Hell
While walking down the street one day, a Republican head of state is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in." says the Republican.
"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the Republican head of state.
"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts the Republican to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil (a Republican, too), who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator
rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the Republican head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."
He reflects for a minute, then the head of state answers: "Well, I would never have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."
So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to the Republican and lays an arm on his neck.
"I don't understand," stammers the Republican head of state. Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"
While walking down the street one day, a Republican head of state is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in." says the Republican.
"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the Republican head of state.
"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts the Republican to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil (a Republican, too), who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator
rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the Republican head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."
He reflects for a minute, then the head of state answers: "Well, I would never have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."
So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to the Republican and lays an arm on his neck.
"I don't understand," stammers the Republican head of state. Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
republicans dumb
()
Date: March 18, 2015 06:15PM
Republicans would be that easily fooled. They spent their whole life dancing with the devil on earth they wouldn't be smart enough to resist it in the after life.
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
vkThv
()
Date: March 18, 2015 07:05PM
^ I dont get it. Is it so alien to you that people of means want income equality? I have clean drinking water but I can still want it for people across the world to have clean drinking water. Am I somehow not allowed to want that because I have it?
dont get the logic
dont get the logic
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
libtards in heaven
()
Date: March 18, 2015 07:37PM
A liberal died and was turned away from the "Gates of heaven", "No Gays allowed here" said St. Peter: "Try Hell". "What the heck" said the Gay Lib, "Better than standing out in the cold, and I know a lot of guys there anyways". Went he got to Hell's entrance he ask for entrance. "Sorry" said Belzebub "No gays allowed here, try heaven!"
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
typical Rightards
()
Date: March 18, 2015 07:42PM
Libocrites! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NTKk-kKLJ3I/UyWwIZo
> LPTI/AAAAAAAACWg/PL8DcBrYnYo/s1600/hollywood_liber
> al_hypocrites_income_inequality.jpg">
I see 2 Brits and at least 1 Canadian.
-------------------------------------------------------
> src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NTKk-kKLJ3I/UyWwIZo
> LPTI/AAAAAAAACWg/PL8DcBrYnYo/s1600/hollywood_liber
> al_hypocrites_income_inequality.jpg">
I see 2 Brits and at least 1 Canadian.
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
Bullshit detector
()
Date: March 18, 2015 08:02PM
vkThv Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ^ I dont get it. Is it so alien to you that
> people of means want income equality? I have clean
> drinking water but I can still want it for people
> across the world to have clean drinking water. Am
> I somehow not allowed to want that because I have
> it?
>
> dont get the logic
You really don't get it? Bullshit. Of course you do.
-------------------------------------------------------
> ^ I dont get it. Is it so alien to you that
> people of means want income equality? I have clean
> drinking water but I can still want it for people
> across the world to have clean drinking water. Am
> I somehow not allowed to want that because I have
> it?
>
> dont get the logic
You really don't get it? Bullshit. Of course you do.
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
Vexxxed
()
Date: March 18, 2015 08:23PM
vkThv Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ^ I dont get it. Is it so alien to you that
> people of means want income equality? I have clean
> drinking water but I can still want it for people
> across the world to have clean drinking water. Am
> I somehow not allowed to want that because I have
> it?
>
> dont get the logic
The US government agrees with you.
However, they don't want to dig any new wells, they'd rather take your water and give it to everyone that doesn't have enough.
-------------------------------------------------------
> ^ I dont get it. Is it so alien to you that
> people of means want income equality? I have clean
> drinking water but I can still want it for people
> across the world to have clean drinking water. Am
> I somehow not allowed to want that because I have
> it?
>
> dont get the logic
The US government agrees with you.
However, they don't want to dig any new wells, they'd rather take your water and give it to everyone that doesn't have enough.
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
True The Vote !
()
Date: March 18, 2015 08:44PM
Thank God North America has more natural resources than those heathens that hate us.
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
he wont listen then
()
Date: March 18, 2015 08:51PM
True The Vote ! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thank God North America has more natural resources
> than those heathens that hate us.
Claiming you were a retard won't keep you out of hell. God will tell you that your fellow man told you you a hell bound retard many times but you didn't listen.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thank God North America has more natural resources
> than those heathens that hate us.
Claiming you were a retard won't keep you out of hell. God will tell you that your fellow man told you you a hell bound retard many times but you didn't listen.
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
4VjEF
()
Date: March 18, 2015 08:57PM
vkThv Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ^ I dont get it. Is it so alien to you that
> people of means want income equality? I have clean
> drinking water but I can still want it for people
> across the world to have clean drinking water. Am
> I somehow not allowed to want that because I have
> it?
>
> dont get the logic
They are free to give all their money away whenever they want to. But what they really want to do is shove bigger, more expensive government down the throats of their fellow citizens. the very definition of douchebaggery.
-------------------------------------------------------
> ^ I dont get it. Is it so alien to you that
> people of means want income equality? I have clean
> drinking water but I can still want it for people
> across the world to have clean drinking water. Am
> I somehow not allowed to want that because I have
> it?
>
> dont get the logic
They are free to give all their money away whenever they want to. But what they really want to do is shove bigger, more expensive government down the throats of their fellow citizens. the very definition of douchebaggery.
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
True The Vote !
()
Date: March 18, 2015 08:59PM
What the fuck are you trying to spit out of your curry hole?
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
wrongg
()
Date: March 18, 2015 08:59PM
vkThv Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ^ I dont get it. Is it so alien to you that
> people of means want income equality? I have clean
> drinking water but I can still want it for people
> across the world to have clean drinking water. Am
> I somehow not allowed to want that because I have
> it?
>
> dont get the logic
So you think any random group of 12 Americans should be worth a billion?
-------------------------------------------------------
> ^ I dont get it. Is it so alien to you that
> people of means want income equality? I have clean
> drinking water but I can still want it for people
> across the world to have clean drinking water. Am
> I somehow not allowed to want that because I have
> it?
>
> dont get the logic
So you think any random group of 12 Americans should be worth a billion?
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
yes they should be
()
Date: March 18, 2015 09:05PM
Yes they should be worth a billion but it doesn't mean they have to use it against the poor.
And historically they've gotten rich with the middle class and lost wealth with the middle class.
That's what you rightards never seem to be able to grasp.
And historically they've gotten rich with the middle class and lost wealth with the middle class.
That's what you rightards never seem to be able to grasp.
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
They didn't build that
()
Date: March 18, 2015 09:17PM
Nobody deserves more than $10 million. Anything beyond that we should confiscate it and redistribute to the negroes.
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
waterforall
()
Date: March 19, 2015 08:54AM
Vexxxed Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> vkThv Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > ^ I dont get it. Is it so alien to you that
> > people of means want income equality? I have
> clean
> > drinking water but I can still want it for
> people
> > across the world to have clean drinking water.
> Am
> > I somehow not allowed to want that because I
> have
> > it?
> >
> > dont get the logic
>
>
> The US government agrees with you.
>
> However, they don't want to dig any new wells,
> they'd rather take your water and give it to
> everyone that doesn't have enough.
And if I had 50 million times more water than I needed for me and my family Id expect to have the water used for others. The fact that I would want to hoard it and deny its life giving properties to others is unthinkable. Yet that is what the 1% do each day. The sense of entitlement to hoard immense wealth and ask more be taken from those with nothing is what is the saddest part of humanity.
-------------------------------------------------------
> vkThv Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > ^ I dont get it. Is it so alien to you that
> > people of means want income equality? I have
> clean
> > drinking water but I can still want it for
> people
> > across the world to have clean drinking water.
> Am
> > I somehow not allowed to want that because I
> have
> > it?
> >
> > dont get the logic
>
>
> The US government agrees with you.
>
> However, they don't want to dig any new wells,
> they'd rather take your water and give it to
> everyone that doesn't have enough.
And if I had 50 million times more water than I needed for me and my family Id expect to have the water used for others. The fact that I would want to hoard it and deny its life giving properties to others is unthinkable. Yet that is what the 1% do each day. The sense of entitlement to hoard immense wealth and ask more be taken from those with nothing is what is the saddest part of humanity.
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
my brother keeper
()
Date: March 19, 2015 10:32AM
"Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
my brothers keeper
()
Date: March 19, 2015 10:41AM
Well the last part was an add on for the movie Pulp Fiction but the first part is a legit biblical verse and still deep.
Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children.
Who are you dumb goobers? The inequities of the selfish? The tyranny of evil men? Blessed who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak?
Which ones are you goobers? Whatever you are, you're definitely not on the path of the righteous.
Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children.
Who are you dumb goobers? The inequities of the selfish? The tyranny of evil men? Blessed who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak?
Which ones are you goobers? Whatever you are, you're definitely not on the path of the righteous.
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
libs hate America.
()
Date: March 19, 2015 03:23PM
Vexxxed Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> vkThv Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > ^ I dont get it. Is it so alien to you that
> > people of means want income equality? I have
> clean
> > drinking water but I can still want it for
> people
> > across the world to have clean drinking water.
> Am
> > I somehow not allowed to want that because I
> have
> > it?
> >
> > dont get the logic
>
>
> The US government agrees with you.
>
> However, they don't want to dig any new wells,
> they'd rather take your water and give it to
> everyone that doesn't have enough.
Hey vexxxed, do you like the song "Fresh Out of the Pan, Sweet Gingerbread Man"?
-------------------------------------------------------
> vkThv Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > ^ I dont get it. Is it so alien to you that
> > people of means want income equality? I have
> clean
> > drinking water but I can still want it for
> people
> > across the world to have clean drinking water.
> Am
> > I somehow not allowed to want that because I
> have
> > it?
> >
> > dont get the logic
>
>
> The US government agrees with you.
>
> However, they don't want to dig any new wells,
> they'd rather take your water and give it to
> everyone that doesn't have enough.
Hey vexxxed, do you like the song "Fresh Out of the Pan, Sweet Gingerbread Man"?
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
sikhmander
()
Date: March 19, 2015 06:01PM
True The Vote ! Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What the fuck are you trying to spit out of your
> curry hole?
Attachments:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What the fuck are you trying to spit out of your
> curry hole?
Attachments:
Re: Republicans in Hell
Posted by:
Hey Asswipe...
()
Date: March 19, 2015 06:44PM
waterforall Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> And if I had 50 million times more water than I
> needed for me and my family Id expect to have the
> water used for others. The fact that I would want
> to hoard it and deny its life giving properties to
> others is unthinkable. Yet that is what the 1% do
> each day. The sense of entitlement to hoard
> immense wealth and ask more be taken from those
> with nothing is what is the saddest part of
> humanity.
You don't get to decide how much you need you worthless goober assfuck. That's the government's job and you'll have no say. As if you'd know what the fuck you were talking about anyway. You're already part of the immense wealth of the 1% internationally and have more than you deserve. Your worthless fucking "redistribution" bullshit is a sure sign of a know-nothing pre-programmed goober dumbfuck.
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> And if I had 50 million times more water than I
> needed for me and my family Id expect to have the
> water used for others. The fact that I would want
> to hoard it and deny its life giving properties to
> others is unthinkable. Yet that is what the 1% do
> each day. The sense of entitlement to hoard
> immense wealth and ask more be taken from those
> with nothing is what is the saddest part of
> humanity.
You don't get to decide how much you need you worthless goober assfuck. That's the government's job and you'll have no say. As if you'd know what the fuck you were talking about anyway. You're already part of the immense wealth of the 1% internationally and have more than you deserve. Your worthless fucking "redistribution" bullshit is a sure sign of a know-nothing pre-programmed goober dumbfuck.