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The Poo Thread
Posted by: Bowels of Thunder ()
Date: January 29, 2009 05:04PM

This is something that, everyday, we all must do. This is the thread where you can talk about poo.

How many times per day? Technique employed? Public restroom adverse? Pet peeves about public restrooms? What type of reading material, etc.?

Seriously. Let’s talk some sh!t.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: Mr. Windel ()
Date: January 29, 2009 05:09PM

3 times per day - 8am, 11am, then again at 11pm.

Usually read men's or sports magazine. In the morning, a newspaper.

Typically takes about 15 minutes per episode.

Not public restroom adverse, so long as it's clean.

Biggest pet peeve would be when you're already in the stall, then someone takes the stall next to you when there's already 4 others available. You'll wait for him to leave, engaging in a battle of the "who can wait the longest until they leave" type war. I can go the distance if not in a hurry.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: Numbers ()
Date: January 29, 2009 05:33PM

I like to to tap my foot in a public bathroom and use a wide stance.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: January 29, 2009 05:36PM

I frequently use my hand to dust the underside of the stall partitions. The janitors never clean there, and I don't want to waste the toilet paper.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: ITRADE ()
Date: January 29, 2009 06:08PM

I'm like Johnny Cage - I prefer a clean bowl.

I hate it when I walk into a stall to find some enormous shit skidmark on the inside of the bowl - where the turd sailed away but had to leave its mark.

I also hate it when i go to whiz or take a dump and see stray pubic hair on the bowl or lid. That is beyond foul.

I prefer to shit alone and will finish up early when others enter the bathroom - there is nothing worse than hearing one of your coworkers (often older folks) bowels exploding like a machine gun at Verdun or the Guadalcanal.

I wad my toilet paper.

I do look before I flush.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: Shitter ()
Date: January 29, 2009 06:51PM

Shitting in public is gross. I'm sorry, but there is no way you can properly clean back there with dry toilet paper. I take great pains to do my business at home, just before showering so I can make sure I'm not walking around with dried shit on my asshole.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: January 29, 2009 07:08PM

When wiping, who squats and who leans?

I'm a leaner. I was actually mystified to learn there was another way of wiping.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/29/2009 07:08PM by MrMephisto.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: Shitter ()
Date: January 29, 2009 07:57PM

As I said, wiping is for chumps.

MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When wiping, who squats and who leans?
>
> I'm a leaner. I was actually mystified to learn
> there was another way of wiping.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: Take a Stand ()
Date: January 29, 2009 08:20PM

*morning and night after getting home from work, like clock work.
*wadd
*lean to the left,
*Scotts Regular Septic safe TP is the only way to go. That quilted shit just leaves a mess.
*anyplace, anytime,
* esquire/ economist / Cabella's catalog


I find it strange when you really got to go.. 1 or 2. The closer you get to the toilet that worse you have to go..




Damn now I have to go..

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: HIJACKER ()
Date: January 29, 2009 09:25PM

I took this photo not to long ago:
http://www.sc-customs.com/storage/Nasty/Nasty.JPG

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: Take a Stand ()
Date: January 29, 2009 09:34PM

I'm happy that you're happy, but the place where you're supposed to have the toilet paper, you've got this little shelf with three seashells on it.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: 496 ()
Date: January 29, 2009 11:21PM

This thread stinks

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: OMG ()
Date: January 30, 2009 12:11AM

My shit is green.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: Alias ()
Date: January 30, 2009 02:01AM

\



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/26/2012 12:24AM by Alias.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: Bonfire ()
Date: January 30, 2009 08:50AM

Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: OMG ()
Date: January 30, 2009 12:11AM


My shit is green

Lay off the 2% milk

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: Planet Uranus ()
Date: January 30, 2009 08:53AM

Can anyone else besides me shit on command?

It's very easy to do. All you need is to perform a medical technique called digital stimulation. It's the same technique used by nurses to achieve a bowel movement in parapalegics. Essentially, it's the same as a prostate massage, only it's self-administered and you only need to focus on the area directly below the prostate.

You simply just need to apply lotion, lubricant or a little spit on your middle finger, slide it in, and massage gently. This helps loosen up the sphincter muscle in order to achieve a successful bowel movement. Most people who suffer from constipation who do not react to fiber and over-hydration have resorted to this method with great results. It's safe to do so long as you only apply as much pressure as you would if you were rubbing your eyeball, so not to perforate the colon lining and or possibly injure the prostate gland. Yes, you will get a little shit on your hand, but a little soap and warm water will clean that right up.

It's almost like what a person with bulimia would do, but instead of sticking their finger in their throat, you stick it where the sun doesn't shine, and wallah! You make your ass throw up.

Have a terrific day!

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: ITRADE ()
Date: January 30, 2009 09:32AM

I assume you learned that from Vince(l)

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: YOUTRADE, ITRADE, WEALLTRADE ()
Date: January 30, 2009 09:54AM

Actually it was Alias and Registered Voter.

Remember, Republicans are self-proclaimed leaders in innovation when it comes to restrooms.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: Numbers ()
Date: January 30, 2009 10:44AM

Take a Stand Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm happy that you're happy, but the place where
> you're supposed to have the toilet paper, you've
> got this little shelf with three seashells on it.

lol. Good one.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: ernie ()
Date: January 30, 2009 01:00PM

9:30 am like clock work then again around 2:00 pm. Though when the time changes it does mess me up for a few days. I like an empty restroom at work. If there is someone else in one of the stalls I will go to a different floor. I can finish up quickly as well if someone takes a neighboring stall. I bunch my toilet paper. I am leaner, not sure how to do it squating.

Luckily there are no real beasts on my floor that really pollute the bathroom. I worked on a floor once with a couple of huge dudes that were nasty. It was not just a shitty smell but more like the smell of DEATH. I am sure we have all smelt that. It almost makes you want to throw up.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: Numbers ()
Date: January 30, 2009 02:18PM

Mr. Windel Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 3 times per day - 8am, 11am, then again at 11pm.


Really? You shit 3 times a day? WTF are you eating?

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: January 30, 2009 02:22PM

My brother, as a teen, didn't crap but once every week and a half or so. My mother took him to the doctor for an enema, but it turns out he just doesn't poop a lot.

I can't even fathom it. I go twice a day, at least.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Date: January 30, 2009 02:33PM

Bowels of Thunder Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> How many times per day?

One is typical. Two is a good day. Three is MVP caliber and five I go see the doctor.


> Technique employed?

Newspaper and time.


> Public restroom adverse?

No. Especially at work.

> Pet peeves about public
> restrooms?

People who piss on the seat.


> What type of reading material, etc.?
>

For some reason the Style section of the Post makes me think of shit.

> Seriously. Let’s talk some sh!t.

I'm done.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Date: January 30, 2009 02:34PM

496 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This thread stinks


Kind of a shitty thread.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: jhey ()
Date: January 30, 2009 02:48PM

Take a Stand Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm happy that you're happy, but the place where
> you're supposed to have the toilet paper, you've
> got this little shelf with three seashells on it.

teddy bear

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: 496 ()
Date: January 30, 2009 03:12PM

MrMephisto Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My brother, as a teen, didn't crap but once every
> week and a half or so. My mother took him to the
> doctor for an enema, but it turns out he just
> doesn't poop a lot.
>
> I can't even fathom it. I go twice a day, at
> least.



Yikes, can you imagine all that dookie just perculating in your bowles for a week? FOUL.

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Re: The Poo Thread
Posted by: MrMephisto ()
Date: January 30, 2009 03:19PM

496 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> MrMephisto Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > My brother, as a teen, didn't crap but once
> every
> > week and a half or so. My mother took him to
> the
> > doctor for an enema, but it turns out he just
> > doesn't poop a lot.
> >
> > I can't even fathom it. I go twice a day, at
> > least.
>
>
>
> Yikes, can you imagine all that dookie just
> perculating in your bowles for a week? FOUL.

He told me that he screamed, "You've unleashed the dark beast!" as he ran to the bathroom when the enema kicked in.

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