I can't fuck with nasty girls man like I remember my ex-girlfriend would try to "convince" me to eat her ass she'd be like "Calvinnnnn, come onnn I just wanna see how it feellll" I'd be like "Jasmineeeee nooooo you fuckin' disgustinnnn" .. so then this bitch got slick this bitch know I love peanut butter like I would never waste peanut butter in my life so this bitch go and get my jar of peanut butter out my shoe box then she spread the shit IN her ass and she like "Calvin come here " I said "What ?" she said "I gotta surprise for you " .. so I come in the room, her booty arched with mad peanut butter in her ass and shit I said "BITCH YOU SHITTED ?!" she said "Noooo .. it's your peanut butter" I said "Hold df up " I got closer .. I said "Bitch that's extra creamy ?" she said "Yep . Now eat it" I said "WHY WOULD YOU DAT FORRR you don't even got jelly in there wit it " she said "JUST EAT IT ... you know you don't waste peanut butter" so I gotta knife and a slice of bread and scooped that bitch out foh I wasn't eatin' her ass then I put some jelly on it and put it in the fridge

So then my friend came over the next day he said "Bro you got any food " I said "Nigga my girl made this sandwich yestaday doggg" he said "FORREAL " I said "Yeah bro!! I gotchu hol' up " .. I go in the kitchen, my dad eatin' somethin' at the stove I looked over and It was the ass sandwich he said "THIS WHY YALL DON'T MAKE FOOD AND PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE WITHOUT WRAPPIN IT UP! *takes another bite* 'cause someone come eat that muhfucka y'all be mad! YOU DON'T LISTEN CJ!" I said "You right dad" he said "What kinda jelly is this" I said "Ass " he said "What?" I said "Fresh out the GLASS dad shit "

This NEVER happened.