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Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 21, 2017 07:12AM

Hi Dive hope you and the wife are doing okay after this.

From my bowels to yours I'm sorry you had to endure this. And so typical of the anal Doctors, "I sent you to the ER by destroying your starfish and its components, but yes give me more money to make you spread the wealth to my friends in the ER."

It's a shell game of manipulation. I'm glad your bowels got some relief from God knows what was in that medicine.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: January 21, 2017 08:36AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi Dive hope you and the wife are doing okay after
> this.
>
> From my bowels to yours I'm sorry you had to
> endure this. And so typical of the anal Doctors,
> "I sent you to the ER by destroying your starfish
> and its components, but yes give me more money to
> make you spread the wealth to my friends in the
> ER."
>
> It's a shell game of manipulation. I'm glad your
> bowels got some relief from God knows what was in
> that medicine.


You know Brown the doctor could not wait to give me that new drug, he gave me a couple sample packs so I could get started on them right away, without even going to the pharmacy. 3 and a half days later I was on the floor crying out in pain but hey that was one of the possible side effects that 12 paragraph informational document that was supplied with those pills warned me about that so it's all okay according to the doctor.
Mrs Dive and my next door neighbor transported me to the ER laying in the back of my neighbors pick-up truck. That's how bad it was.
How are you and your sister doing with your bowels Brown?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: January 21, 2017 09:50AM

Man o man we waz buzy at jiffy lube this mornin. We had a steady stream of vehicles fo over two hourz but now we iz caught up. I am startin ta work a little bit in tha shop again now. Eatin lots of saladz seems to be helpin my bowelz loosen up but now maybe a little too loose. There iz a place down tha road that makes grilled cheeze sandwitches an I think I m gonna eat one at lunch.
How iz everyonez elses bowelz today?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 21, 2017 04:20PM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Hi Dive hope you and the wife are doing okay
> after
> > this.
> >
> > From my bowels to yours I'm sorry you had to
> > endure this. And so typical of the anal
> Doctors,
> > "I sent you to the ER by destroying your
> starfish
> > and its components, but yes give me more money
> to
> > make you spread the wealth to my friends in the
> > ER."
> >
> > It's a shell game of manipulation. I'm glad
> your
> > bowels got some relief from God knows what was
> in
> > that medicine.
>
>
> You know Brown the doctor could not wait to give
> me that new drug, he gave me a couple sample packs
> so I could get started on them right away, without
> even going to the pharmacy. 3 and a half days
> later I was on the floor crying out in pain but
> hey that was one of the possible side effects that
> 12 paragraph informational document that was
> supplied with those pills warned me about that so
> it's all okay according to the doctor.
> Mrs Dive and my next door neighbor transported me
> to the ER laying in the back of my neighbors
> pick-up truck. That's how bad it was.
> How are you and your sister doing with your bowels
> Brown?


See dive the modern day ass doctor is a cruel drug pusher who is psychopathic and allowed to legally fuck your bowels and wallet up. I'm sorry for your bowels and for Mrs. Dive having to experience this. There should be public service announcements about the dangers of ass doctors and their friends in the drug industry. Dirty money.

Matilda is at her house ten miles away but I believe I just heard her without a telephone.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 21, 2017 04:21PM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Man o man we waz buzy at jiffy lube this mornin.
> We had a steady stream of vehicles fo over two
> hourz but now we iz caught up. I am startin ta
> work a little bit in tha shop again now. Eatin
> lots of saladz seems to be helpin my bowelz loosen
> up but now maybe a little too loose. There iz a
> place down tha road that makes grilled cheeze
> sandwitches an I think I m gonna eat one at
> lunch.
> How iz everyonez elses bowelz today?


Hope your bowels recovered from this and they didn't betray you at a bad moment Red.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: January 21, 2017 05:49PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Man o man we waz buzy at jiffy lube this
> mornin.
> > We had a steady stream of vehicles fo over two
> > hourz but now we iz caught up. I am startin ta
> > work a little bit in tha shop again now. Eatin
> > lots of saladz seems to be helpin my bowelz
> loosen
> > up but now maybe a little too loose. There iz a
> > place down tha road that makes grilled cheeze
> > sandwitches an I think I m gonna eat one at
> > lunch.
> > How iz everyonez elses bowelz today?
>
>
> Hope your bowels recovered from this and they
> didn't betray you at a bad moment Red.


Yeah, Brownie I jus got home about an hour ago and had me a halfway decent numba 3 numba 2. I iz lookin forward ta my nex 2 dayz off. Tommorrow I iz gonna cook another turkey breast in tha crock pot an watch football. My roomate iz trying ta get me to go out to breakfast at the golden coral in manassaz in the morning. I might go but only eat fruit an cereal. Tha golden coral haz lots of very temptin foods but I think I will be ok.
I hope you haz a great evening Brown.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 21, 2017 09:39PM

Golden Corral Red Onion?

Be careful good man. That's the brown Corral of hell. Many a man has screamed wept cried or literally imploded on their groan thrones.

Tread with care my brother in bowel, that's the Chernobyl of bowels.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 22, 2017 05:52AM

Ah Al Sharpton rolled out. Feeling much better.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: jhonny bravo ()
Date: January 22, 2017 09:18AM

"Groan throne prison blues"

by,
Jhonny Bravo





I hear my turd a comin'
It's rolling round the bend
And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when,
I'm stuck in groan throne prison, and time keeps draggin' on
But that train keeps a rollin' on down to San Antone..
When I was just a baby my mama told me. Son,
Always be a good boy, dont ever get the runs.
But I went to a buffet in Reno just to watch my bowels die
When I hear that whistle blowing, I hang my head and cry..

I bet there's rich folks eating in a fancy dining car
They're probably eating pork chops and smoking big cigars.
Well I know I had it coming, I know my bowels can't be free
But those people keep their bowels a movin'
And that's what tortures me...

Well if they freed me from this groan throne,
If that railroad train was mine
I bet I'd move it on a little farther down the line
Far from groan throne prison, that's where I want to stay
And I'd let that lonesome whistle blow my blues away.....

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 22, 2017 06:38PM

jhonny bravo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Groan throne prison blues"
>
> by,
> Jhonny Bravo
>
>
>
>
>
> I hear my turd a comin'
> It's rolling round the bend
> And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know
> when,
> I'm stuck in groan throne prison, and time keeps
> draggin' on
> But that train keeps a rollin' on down to San
> Antone..
> When I was just a baby my mama told me. Son,
> Always be a good boy, dont ever get the runs.
> But I went to a buffet in Reno just to watch my
> bowels die
> When I hear that whistle blowing, I hang my head
> and cry..
>
> I bet there's rich folks eating in a fancy dining
> car
> They're probably eating pork chops and smoking big
> cigars.
> Well I know I had it coming, I know my bowels
> can't be free
> But those people keep their bowels a movin'
> And that's what tortures me...
>
> Well if they freed me from this groan throne,
> If that railroad train was mine
> I bet I'd move it on a little farther down the
> line
> Far from groan throne prison, that's where I want
> to stay
> And I'd let that lonesome whistle blow my blues
> away.....


Best one yet Mr Bravo!!!!!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: January 23, 2017 09:28AM

I shore did get me a laugh from john bravo. That waz a good one.
I iz vury happy that i aint got ta work today, i think all them beerz i drank watchin football haz messed up my bowelz but hopfully they will be better tomorrow. I went to golden corale yesterday but didnt eat no bad stuff, jus fruit an a big toasted bagel with coffee. Some people at golden corale waz eating like pigs so they must have very good bowelz.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Xp6Ln ()
Date: January 23, 2017 11:54AM

Was kind of backed up and it was hurting my back. Took 3 stool softeners this morning and went back to sleep. Got up and had to make haste to the bathroom. The poo plug came out.

Did some things around the house since I didn't go into work and felt like I had to fart. Sensing that it would be a good idea not to trust it being a fart, I made my way to the powder room and a torrent of foamy sludge departed my body. Hope that is it, but not taking chances.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Ah Al Sharpton ()
Date: January 23, 2017 01:51PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ah Al Sharpton rolled out. Feeling much better.


ever consider your Bowel problems are payback for you being an amoral shithead? God doesnt like people like you.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 23, 2017 02:35PM

Goulash. Just wish something was left of the fish.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Imy4 ()
Date: January 23, 2017 05:55PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Goulash. Just wish something was left of the fish.

Scat Party at Brown Onion.

Groan throne.
Starfish.
Wetbacks and Non Whites not invited
Midwives

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Biff66 ()
Date: January 23, 2017 09:40PM

Imy4 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Goulash. Just wish something was left of the
> fish.
>
> Scat Party at Brown Onion.
>
> Groan throne.
> Starfish.
> Wetbacks and Non Whites not invited
> Midwives


I don't care much for the racial insensitivity, but this has been educational and also I know I'm not alone. My hope is people will be more sensitive. This area is quite diverse.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 5am guy ()
Date: January 24, 2017 04:54AM

Hello all, 5am guy checking in again. 5am guy has a bun in the oven right now and 5am guy has the heater, blacklights, star shower light and whale song all running in the mens room because the time is near. 5am guy is hoping for a peaceful elimination but 5am guy knows that is not always possible.
5am guy left his aroma-therapy candles at home accidently but 5am guy hopes to bring them to work tonight and try them out.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: bEefyT ()
Date: January 24, 2017 08:43AM


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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: thread patrol ()
Date: January 24, 2017 10:10AM

Looks like this thread has died out.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 24, 2017 10:50AM

thread patrol Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Looks like this thread has died out.


How are your bowels?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Splatter ()
Date: January 24, 2017 11:36AM

I don't like having to carry extra accessories into work. Anyone have ideas?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 24, 2017 01:00PM

Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I don't like having to carry extra accessories
> into work. Anyone have ideas?


Put everything in plain sight brown. People from this area don't notice shit.

Your supervisors desk. He won't notice what's in plain sight.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: January 24, 2017 05:10PM

Just got home from work and am fixing a baked potato with shakeNbake pork chopz. We will see how this goez. I loves shakeNbake but it aint alweyz bowel friendly. I hopes you other brown guys are doin well.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc. ()
Date: January 24, 2017 08:06PM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just got home from work and am fixing a baked
> potato with shakeNbake pork chopz. We will see how
> this goez. I loves shakeNbake but it aint alweyz
> bowel friendly. I hopes you other brown guys are
> doin well.


You are what you eat. The adage is true!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 24, 2017 08:49PM

Anon Doc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Just got home from work and am fixing a baked
> > potato with shakeNbake pork chopz. We will see
> how
> > this goez. I loves shakeNbake but it aint
> alweyz
> > bowel friendly. I hopes you other brown guys
> are
> > doin well.
>
>
> You are what you eat. The adage is true!


Red onion don't listen to stinky finger charlatans.

I hope it was good and your bowels make it.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 5am guy ()
Date: January 25, 2017 05:24AM

5am guy here. 5am guy is a little late this morning. 5am guy just shit blood for 30 min straight. 5am guy thinks his bowels have been damaged from the very large black guy who fucked 5am guy up the ass in the alley last night.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 25, 2017 09:19AM

5am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 5am guy here. 5am guy is a little late this
> morning. 5am guy just shit blood for 30 min
> straight. 5am guy thinks his bowels have been
> damaged from the very large black guy who fucked
> 5am guy up the ass in the alley last night.


Obvious impersonation by a superior bowel "person".

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: January 25, 2017 09:21AM

Moring BiBs, and Happy Dump Day!

Coffee did its trick again this morning; another large #4#2. Here's hoping the same for all the brethren here!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 25, 2017 10:19AM

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Moring BiBs, and Happy Dump Day!
>
> Coffee did its trick again this morning; another
> large #4#2. Here's hoping the same for all the
> brethren here!


What brand of bowel brew do you suggest?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: January 25, 2017 11:10AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Deadly combo Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Moring BiBs, and Happy Dump Day!
> >
> > Coffee did its trick again this morning;
> another
> > large #4#2. Here's hoping the same for all the
> > brethren here!
>
>
> What brand of bowel brew do you suggest?

Any brand of black coffee works for me, BO. No sugar, no cream, none of that Starbucks shit they add. Works like a charm!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: January 25, 2017 07:52PM

The ShakeNbake pork chops messed me up. I iz hurtin.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 26, 2017 06:17AM

Deadly any brand. Wow you are a lucky man.

Coffee just ferments in my colon and sits there. No speeding up of the cement bags.

Red Onion what's left of your fish after that? No judging but could you describe your bowels for research purposes?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: January 26, 2017 09:38AM

I thiks tha shakeNbake made itz exit this mornin, that waz a relief. Goin with subway veggie delight fo lunch today so that should be better.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 26, 2017 11:33AM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I thiks tha shakeNbake made itz exit this mornin,
> that waz a relief. Goin with subway veggie delight
> fo lunch today so that should be better.


Do you need a rectal mirror to witness the carnage?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Hard Wiper ()
Date: January 26, 2017 12:53PM

Grocery stores bathrooms have the worst TP. One can understand profit but their poor employees and customers. They have every brand and no excuses.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 26, 2017 05:32PM

Hard Wiper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Grocery stores bathrooms have the worst TP. One
> can understand profit but their poor employees and
> customers. They have every brand and no excuses.


Doesn't surprise me, especially as grocery clerks are dotheads or savages from Africa.

They'd be happy with leaves or their own hand to wipe their asses, before they cut your chicken how you like it.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Treat them gently please ()
Date: January 26, 2017 08:47PM

I sent some triggered conservatives to this thread as a safe space - hope you dont mind. Treat them gently please.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 27, 2017 07:03AM

Treat them gently please Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I sent some triggered conservatives to this thread
> as a safe space - hope you dont mind. Treat them
> gently please.


There's no political color in brown.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Poop Patrol ()
Date: January 27, 2017 08:18AM

I guess prescriptions don't help. You all were correct as no improvement. It didn't cost much. Maybe it does help some but not me.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Biff66 ()
Date: January 27, 2017 09:07AM

Poop Patrol Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I guess prescriptions don't help. You all were
> correct as no improvement. It didn't cost much.
> Maybe it does help some but not me.

I have had IBS for ten years or a bit more and so far have had no success either. Only thing I'd recommend is see a nutritionist as mine has decreased the problem a decent amount. Still is awful but not as much as it used to be.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Real Americans like me... ()
Date: January 27, 2017 10:59AM

I am a Trump supporter and was really upset about some liberal school teacher and some other things that really hurt my feelings. Another poster suggested I come to this thread for some support. So here I am.

My bowel movements are regular and normal but I see many of you suffer. do you thing its the liberal media and immigrants that have caused your physical suffering? Did hillary clinton make your pooping more difficult?

Thanks for understanding - Im just trying to get by in a world controlled by gay people that live in big cities. Also I have no skills and no HS degree but require a 70k per year job. Bring back employment for Real Americans like me...

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: January 27, 2017 11:17AM

Tippys Tacos. Dumb dumb dumb

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 27, 2017 01:13PM

Diced Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Tippys Tacos. Dumb dumb dumb


TT's would cause me to force out a stool large and dry enough to be a considerable part of Trumps wall.

On the other hand, some would shit a Rio Grande amount of refried beans.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: January 27, 2017 01:19PM

Well I went an did it now. I jus couldent rezist free little ceaser pizza. A customer brought 4 of em in an i ate 3 slices. The fartin haz already begun an i got to do a tire rotation on a ford f-250. There iz a chance i might shit my pants.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Splatter ()
Date: January 27, 2017 02:37PM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well I went an did it now. I jus couldent rezist
> free little ceaser pizza. A customer brought 4 of
> em in an i ate 3 slices. The fartin haz already
> begun an i got to do a tire rotation on a ford
> f-250. There iz a chance i might shit my pants.


You have company. Cleaning up my desk chair at work. It's a bad day.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Wally Joyner ()
Date: January 27, 2017 02:48PM

My bowels my bowels!

How about those with serious heart problems? Stroke maybe? Butt problems aren't life threatening you pussies!!!!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 27, 2017 03:02PM

Wally Joyner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My bowels my bowels!
>
> How about those with serious heart problems?
> Stroke maybe? Butt problems aren't life
> threatening you pussies!!!!

Intestinal obstruction


Symptoms
Signs and symptoms of intestinal obstruction include:
Crampy abdominal pain that comes and goes
Loss of appetite
Constipation
Vomiting
Inability to have a bowel movement or pass gas
Swelling of the abdomen

When to see a doctor
Because of the serious complications that can develop from intestinal obstruction, seek immediate medical care if you have severe abdominal pain or other symptoms of intestinal obstruction.




http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/intestinal-obstruction/symptoms-causes/dxc-20168463

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Wally Joyner ()
Date: January 27, 2017 05:01PM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wally Joyner Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > My bowels my bowels!
> >
> > How about those with serious heart problems?
> > Stroke maybe? Butt problems aren't life
> > threatening you pussies!!!!
>
> Intestinal obstruction
>
>
> Symptoms
> Signs and symptoms of intestinal obstruction
> include:
> Crampy abdominal pain that comes and goes
> Loss of appetite
> Constipation
> Vomiting
> Inability to have a bowel movement or pass gas
> Swelling of the abdomen
>
> When to see a doctor
> Because of the serious complications that can
> develop from intestinal obstruction, seek
> immediate medical care if you have severe
> abdominal pain or other symptoms of intestinal
> obstruction.
>
>
>
>
> http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/inte
> stinal-obstruction/symptoms-causes/dxc-20168463

So?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: franchise owner ()
Date: January 27, 2017 05:18PM

I just read that some folks here enjoy our pizza here at Little Caesar's!

We are about to re-release our bacon wrapped crust deep-dish pizza for a limited time on Super Bowl weekend!
Let me assure all of you that our signature BWC pizza is super bowel friendly, as well as being super bowl friendly!
We add super special bowel calming ingredients to make our pizzas easily digestible! Now even those of you with digestive disorders can enjoy some great pizza! Happy eating!!
Attachments:
little-caesar-bacon-wrapped-deep-dish-pizza-01.JPG

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Food pro ()
Date: January 27, 2017 07:43PM

franchise owner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I just read that some folks here enjoy our pizza
> here at Little Caesar's!
>
> We are about to re-release our bacon wrapped crust
> deep-dish pizza for a limited time on Super Bowl
> weekend!
> Let me assure all of you that our signature BWC
> pizza is super bowel friendly, as well as being
> super bowl friendly!
> We add super special bowel calming ingredients to
> make our pizzas easily digestible! Now even those
> of you with digestive disorders can enjoy some
> great pizza! Happy eating!!

Make sure you jizz and spit all over Brown Onion's order before he picks it up.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 27, 2017 08:47PM

I have no doubt third world slimeballs would leave DNA full of their third world on my pizza, as isn't that normal in their shit holes?

My hope is my BIBs are holding up better than what's left of my starfish. A garage door with C4 appears all that's left.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: January 28, 2017 06:37AM

Happy weekend bib's!

Mrs. Dive and I are going on a RV trip to watch the super bowl on TV with friends next weekend, we are headed to the gulf coast of Florida. We love RVing but Mrs Dive does not love it when I have to take a dump in the tiny toilet that is within the confined space of our camp trailer! We are hopefully going to get a campsite near the bath-house so I can make the dash there when the time comes.
They say that more food gets consumed during the super bowl than on Thanksgiving day so we all better be kind to our colons so we don't wreck our rectums.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 28, 2017 07:10AM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Happy weekend bib's!
>
> Mrs. Dive and I are going on a RV trip to watch
> the super bowl on TV with friends next weekend, we
> are headed to the gulf coast of Florida. We love
> RVing but Mrs Dive does not love it when I have to
> take a dump in the tiny toilet that is within the
> confined space of our camp trailer! We are
> hopefully going to get a campsite near the
> bath-house so I can make the dash there when the
> time comes.
> They say that more food gets consumed during the
> super bowl than on Thanksgiving day so we all
> better be kind to our colons so we don't wreck our
> rectums.

You as well dive. A shame you can't get an industry rated vent above that groan throne.
W
Here's to your wonderful bride who truly is a bowel buddy, to have that extra back up plan in place. She reminds me a lot of my departed Ethel, who in Heaven still is my bowel buddy.

My sister Matilda and I are off to First Watch. My hope is your bowels and everyone's fish is ok for the super bowl. Not everyone can be matt Ryan

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: January 28, 2017 08:05AM

Man o man , it sho iz windy an cold today. Jiffy lube iz gonna be very buzy today. I got the next two days off an I am lookin forward ta that. I am cookin a crock pot turkey breast once again an it will be ready when I gets home.
Best wishez ta all you brown guyz!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 28, 2017 11:14AM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Man o man , it sho iz windy an cold today. Jiffy
> lube iz gonna be very buzy today. I got the next
> two days off an I am lookin forward ta that. I am
> cookin a crock pot turkey breast once again an it
> will be ready when I gets home.
> Best wishez ta all you brown guyz!


Same here Red and do you have some loud machines and fans I can borrow.

While understanding, my sisters screams and smells coming from the groan throne, suggest the spawning of Satan is possible.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: That you DVD ()
Date: January 28, 2017 02:44PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Man o man , it sho iz windy an cold today.
> Jiffy
> > lube iz gonna be very buzy today. I got the
> next
> > two days off an I am lookin forward ta that. I
> am
> > cookin a crock pot turkey breast once again an
> it
> > will be ready when I gets home.
> > Best wishez ta all you brown guyz!
>
>
> Same here Red and do you have some loud machines
> and fans I can borrow.
>
> While understanding, my sisters screams and smells
> coming from the groan throne, suggest the spawning
> of Satan is possible.


Brown Onions humor while gross, does remind me a lot of Dick Van Dyck.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Conan7665 ()
Date: January 28, 2017 05:41PM

That you DVD Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Man o man , it sho iz windy an cold today.
> > Jiffy
> > > lube iz gonna be very buzy today. I got the
> > next
> > > two days off an I am lookin forward ta that.
> I
> > am
> > > cookin a crock pot turkey breast once again
> an
> > it
> > > will be ready when I gets home.
> > > Best wishez ta all you brown guyz!
> >
> >
> > Same here Red and do you have some loud
> machines
> > and fans I can borrow.
> >
> > While understanding, my sisters screams and
> smells
> > coming from the groan throne, suggest the
> spawning
> > of Satan is possible.
>
> who was the moon comedian guy in the 70s?hes more that
> Brown Onions humor while gross, does remind me a
> lot of Dick Van Dyck.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 28, 2017 07:28PM

My poor fish.

Just a ripped up goulash through the rectal mirror.

Looks kind of like the beaners going towards the border. Back to below the southern border kind of shit.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 28, 2017 08:16PM

My apologies as earlier I forgot to ask about aroma removals. Matilda has turned the house into a shit house, as her aromas burn my nose and ear hairs.

Aside from a bio hazard team, any suggestions on how to make said aromas dissipate?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Hard Wiper ()
Date: January 29, 2017 11:30AM

Did my Christian duty. Bought and brought expensive TP to church for the congregation.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: January 29, 2017 11:44AM

I got the day off taday. Got me a case of beer an am watchin a survivorman series on Amazon prime. Going ta get drunk an eat turkey,,, life iz good taday!

Hard, you did a good deed of Christion action taday an I am pretty sure God blesses you very good.

When I was in prizon I think the toilet paper the state provided us with waz made from recycled phone books and pine cones. I understand better than most folks the pure luxury of high quality toilet paper. When I shop at tha grocery store I buy the cheap store brand of most everything except toilet paper. Only the thickest and softest name brand for me!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc. ()
Date: January 29, 2017 01:41PM

There's nothing "Christian" about obscene write ups.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 29, 2017 04:44PM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I got the day off taday. Got me a case of beer an
> am watchin a survivorman series on Amazon prime.
> Going ta get drunk an eat turkey,,, life iz good
> taday!
>
> Hard, you did a good deed of Christion action
> taday an I am pretty sure God blesses you very
> good.
>
> When I was in prizon I think the toilet paper the
> state provided us with waz made from recycled
> phone books and pine cones. I understand better
> than most folks the pure luxury of high quality
> toilet paper. When I shop at tha grocery store I
> buy the cheap store brand of most everything
> except toilet paper. Only the thickest and softest
> name brand for me!


First off hard Wiper do you go to a tight fisted money grubbing Presbyterian church?

Agreed with red Onion this is Christian duty. For those who's bowels suffer I'm convinced with red Onion that good quality not rectum ripping paper is easier on people's starfish.

That alone is a beautiful thing. Now to probably read at least the New Testament as this bag of cement pushes downward.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Nazi BO ()
Date: January 29, 2017 08:16PM

BO is a Trumptard.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Biff66 ()
Date: January 30, 2017 05:06AM

I'm feeling pain this morning. Between a bad dream about an enema and a painful number 2 I hope you all are faring better.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 30, 2017 08:10AM

The snow is pearly white. My groan throne isn't.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: putinsbowEls ()
Date: January 30, 2017 10:36AM


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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: January 30, 2017 11:07AM

Man o man, after drankin 11 cold beerz yesterday my bowlez is all messed up. I think i better take it ez taday. Hopefully i will recover befor i gots ta go to work tammorw.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 30, 2017 03:43PM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Man o man, after drankin 11 cold beerz yesterday
> my bowlez is all messed up. I think i better take
> it ez taday. Hopefully i will recover befor i gots
> ta go to work tammorw.


Oh shit! Literally.

I wish your bowels well.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 5am guy ()
Date: January 31, 2017 05:01AM

Hello all! 5am guy checking in again. 5am guy is not happy because 5am guy is being ordered to attend a seminar next week that will last 3 nights and is in Ocean city Maryland. Worst of all 5am guy is being told he needs to share a room with another employee!
5am guy needs lots of privacy and special effects in order to poop. 5am guy will not be able to poop with another person nearby. 5am guy is going to try and find a way out of this seminar.
5am guy has been to these seminars before, they are supposed to teach employees how to work as a team effectively. 5am guy works alone and has done so over 10 years now.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 31, 2017 06:18AM

5am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hello all! 5am guy checking in again. 5am guy is
> not happy because 5am guy is being ordered to
> attend a seminar next week that will last 3 nights
> and is in Ocean city Maryland. Worst of all 5am
> guy is being told he needs to share a room with
> another employee!
> 5am guy needs lots of privacy and special effects
> in order to poop. 5am guy will not be able to poop
> with another person nearby. 5am guy is going to
> try and find a way out of this seminar.
> 5am guy has been to these seminars before, they
> are supposed to teach employees how to work as a
> team effectively. 5am guy works alone and has done
> so over 10 years now.


Can I visit your office? This shit has to change.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Tranny Fan ()
Date: January 31, 2017 10:38AM

I'm sick of your anti gay non stop bashing . The LGBT community may take it up the butt but as a top there's nothing that hurts a person rear with proper actions in place. This is homophobic racist scum !

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: January 31, 2017 02:09PM

Tranny Fan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm sick of your anti gay non stop bashing . The
> LGBT community may take it up the butt but as a
> top there's nothing that hurts a person rear with
> proper actions in place. This is homophobic racist
> scum !


It's not anti homosexual it's pro bowel.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: January 31, 2017 04:38PM

Oh brother, I shit my self a little at work taday. I had to run home at lunch ta get fresh drawers an take a quick showwer. I guess i waz lucky ta be able to run home, I throwed my horrible stained BVD'z in the dumpster at jiffy lube. No more beerz for me till super bowl nite!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Poop Patrol ()
Date: January 31, 2017 08:14PM

Red Onion

Don't feel alone. I've done that a few times. The worst was a stock room time and it was a big one. I tried to hold it even pushed it back in but alas no luck.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 5am guy ()
Date: February 01, 2017 04:56AM

Hi all, 5am guy checking in again here. 5am guy would like to chime in with the last two posters and say that 5am guy has had experiences with that type of thing. 5am guy has shit himself on several occasions, once while riding on a Greyhound bus. There is never a good time to shit yourself.
On a more positive note 5am guys boss said that 5am guy can have his own room at the hotel where the 4 day, 3 night training seminar will be held. 5am guy made some mention of the Americans with disabilities act and 5am guy thinks that was the magic word. 5am guy is still not happy about going on the trip but at least 5am guy can poop in private!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: February 01, 2017 06:22AM

Oh man Red Onion 5 am and I forgot the other author but this is a bad week for bowels.

My poor starfish looks like it's been through the entire battle of Antietam.

More later as I will clean up this injury.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: February 01, 2017 09:46AM

my hand is now healed enough ta do my regular job at jiffy lube. I sho iz glad about that but I had to take immodium AD thiz morning ta stop my azz from leakin.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: February 01, 2017 10:38AM

Happy Dump Day, BiBs!

5am...glad to hear you have private accommodations on your trip; a nice compromise, have a safe trip there and back.

Red onion...good news your hand is back in working order, godspeed to your bowels Sunday night!

BO...sending healing thoughts your way for your starfish.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: bowel-related maladies ()
Date: February 01, 2017 11:08AM

God punishes ignorant racists with IBS and bowel-related maladies. Suck it losers, especially B0

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: February 02, 2017 08:28AM

Man o man my bowelz are finnaly doin good. It was a pleasure havin a normal one this mornin. I sho hope you brown guyz out there are doing good too.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Edward Tom Basl ()
Date: February 02, 2017 08:34AM

Sheppard's pie

"Make America Great Again."
-Donald J. Trump-

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: February 02, 2017 11:25AM

I hope you guys are doing better.

The groundhog from Punxsutawney is rolling in my intestines.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: medium greenfield ()
Date: February 02, 2017 08:15PM

I have ass trouble. I wish I could share with the thread users but I am afraid of this forum.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: February 02, 2017 08:47PM

medium greenfield Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have ass trouble. I wish I could share with the
> thread users but I am afraid of this forum.


Don't be. You have plenty of people here with stretched rectums who don't judge.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 5am guy ()
Date: February 03, 2017 05:00AM

Hi all 5am guy here again. 5am guy is very stressed out about his business trip next week. The 3 day training will be held during the hours of 9 am to 4 pm. Those are the hours that 5am guy sleeps every day! This trip is going to screw up 5am guys sleep and poop cycles. Just thinking about it is giving 5am guy panic attacks and diarrhea.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: February 03, 2017 02:35PM

Off to the hospital with Matilda. She's driving so less dangerous for wetbacks.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Biff66 ()
Date: February 03, 2017 10:46PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Off to the hospital with Matilda. She's driving so
> less dangerous for wetbacks.


Feelbetter buddy

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Splatter ()
Date: February 04, 2017 07:37AM

A mess at work yesterday left my boss shocked. I have given 2 weeks with pay.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: February 04, 2017 08:07AM

Yesterday afternoon at tha Jiffy Lube a guy in a Buick pulled on to the lot an jumped out hiz car, he left tha engine runnin and ran into the mens room like he waz runnin for hiz life. I shore did feel sorry for that guy because I haz been there before. I am pretty sure he made it in tha nick of time caze there waz no big mess in tha mens room. I couldent help but wonder if that guy waz a brown brother.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Knew Trition ()
Date: February 04, 2017 01:42PM

I find it helpful to have a really large breakfast and then just a few snacks for lunch and dinner. Here is a example of a good big breakfast that will be followed by a healthy dump.
Attachments:
breakfast.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: it smelled like Brown 0nion ()
Date: February 04, 2017 03:04PM

I just took a Yuge Trump - it smelled like Brown 0nion

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: February 04, 2017 08:11PM

A day with a "doctor" inserting his sausage fingers in my rectum, glad to be home. Feel violated.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: February 04, 2017 09:04PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A day with a "doctor" inserting his sausage
> fingers in my rectum, glad to be home. Feel
> violated.


Sorry you had ta endure that brownonion. Are you gonna watch the superbowl tomorrow? I hopes tha Falconz can find a way to win!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: February 05, 2017 08:06AM

All my money and my fish are on the Falcons red.

Holding the rectum, what's left in my hands, just awful pain and what's left.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: February 05, 2017 09:35AM

Hey browonion I is rootin for them Falconz too! Man o Man my roommate an I are havin some friends over for tha game an we just picked up a quarter keg of Michelob light! Soon we are makin meatballs, chicken wings and sausage dip.
I would like ta publically apologize to my bowelz right now.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: February 05, 2017 09:54AM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hey browonion I is rootin for them Falconz too!
> Man o Man my roommate an I are havin some friends
> over for tha game an we just picked up a quarter
> keg of Michelob light! Soon we are makin
> meatballs, chicken wings and sausage dip.
> I would like ta publically apologize to my bowelz
> right now.


Oh man Red. Hopefully a real chicken doesn't get incubated and roll out of your starfish

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: sick fantasy b0. ()
Date: February 05, 2017 10:06AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A day with a "doctor" inserting his sausage
> fingers in my rectum, glad to be home. Feel
> violated.

...just another sick fantasy b0. Keep your sick sister from jamming her digits up your ass to get you off the couch.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: February 05, 2017 05:01PM

sick fantasy b0. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > A day with a "doctor" inserting his sausage
> > fingers in my rectum, glad to be home. Feel
> > violated.
>
> ...just another sick fantasy b0. Keep your sick
> sister from jamming her digits up your ass to get
> you off the couch.

You are the sick dog. Let me guess Gerry anon dick or some third world savage.
My sister Matilda is to be respected as are my bowels.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: February 08, 2017 02:22PM

Hey, where haz everyone gone?

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