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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Bowel buster ()
Date: December 18, 2016 01:00PM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Happy Holidays BiB's!
> I love Christmas time but along with all the good
> tidings and joy there often lurks a hidden danger.
> Irresistible baked goods can be found almost
> everywhere and those tasty treats can bring a
> complete lack of comfort and joy to your bowels if
> you are digestively challenged.
> Tomorrow morning for example the 30 or so
> employees in my department at work are going to a
> place called the Wood Grill buffet. I have never
> been there but am told it is a very nice buffet. I
> am pretty sure this place will be loaded with
> weapons of ass destruction and I am going to have
> to resist temptation and stick to toast and fruit.
> We work just two days this week and are off till
> after new years so Mrs. Dive and I are thinking
> about a few nights in Virginia beach.
> I hope and pray all the BiB's have a wonderful
> holiday!


Hey look, BO decorated his dining room.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 18, 2016 01:28PM

Weapons of ass destruction. I sit here laughing dive, and here's to you and your bowels surviving so many diverse food groups. Hopefully the wetbacks who always work buffets, wash their hands/wear hair nets.


It would be awful for your bowels to fight through Hepatitis.

Merry Christmas dive and all BBs. Hoping for no oversized Christmas Yuletide logs. If not "the shitters full Clark."

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: December 18, 2016 03:19PM

What do you men plan for the holidays? I wish you the best.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: December 18, 2016 03:28PM

Enjoyin the day off taday an tomorrow too! The Turkey iz almost done and we got stove top stuffing an gravy. The stuffin may not be too bowel friendly but I iz gonna have some anyway. The walmart beers are goin down easy an I already drank 5 of em! Happi holidayz to all the bowel bros!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Santa Cunt ()
Date: December 18, 2016 03:35PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Weapons of ass destruction. I sit here laughing
> dive, and here's to you and your bowels surviving
> so many diverse food groups. Hopefully the
> wetbacks who always work buffets, wash their
> hands/wear hair nets.
>
>
> It would be awful for your bowels to fight through
> Hepatitis.
>
> Merry Christmas dive and all BBs. Hoping for no
> oversized Christmas Yuletide logs. If not "the
> shitters full Clark."

I hope you choke on a yule poop log and get a stocking full of cat shit

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Dave Johns ()
Date: December 18, 2016 06:29PM

Go easy on BO. He's a bigot but smart about butt problems.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc. ()
Date: December 18, 2016 08:20PM

Dave Johns Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Go easy on BO. He's a bigot but smart about butt
> problems.

Yes as a "resident " at Woodburn he's a miracle maker.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: disorder investigator ()
Date: December 18, 2016 08:24PM

Some of you may suffer from Mariko Aoki phenomenon. It is very common in my country.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mariko_Aoki_phenomenon

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 5am guy ()
Date: December 19, 2016 05:00AM

disorder investigator Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Some of you may suffer from Mariko Aoki
> phenomenon. It is very common in my country.
>
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mariko_Aoki_phenomen
> on

5am guy finds that very ponderous. 5am guy does not really know of too many bookstores other than McKay's in Manassas. 5am guy thinks that Mariko Aoki phenomenon may be more of a blessing than a disease. 5am guy is going to conduct some tests. 5am guy has gotten some very good information from this thread over the years.
5am guy wishes all a merry christmas.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 19, 2016 07:00AM

Merry Christmas 5 am guy, and that crapping book phenomenon is interesting.

Now that my sister is awake I have to medicate her rectum but I wish all well today.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: December 19, 2016 11:11AM

Why do I eat fried chicken when I know the results will be bad

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: December 19, 2016 12:20PM

At least one of the freeloading visiting relatives did something useful, brought some nice organic mescaline.

I wouldn't recommend organic mescaline for constipation. But this one time, it seemed to work.

I contemplated my bowels, instead of the usual magazine, and my elimination was everything you'd want it to be. The stool was fluffy, like a brown cloud, and gently passed through my Schphinkter like a gentle breeze. Even the post extrusion rectal smudge was at a minimum.

Could be a coincidence, but I'll have to experiment further.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mr Brown Underwear ()
Date: December 19, 2016 02:52PM

Haven't heard of that but wonder if it decreases incontinence

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Wally Joyner ()
Date: December 19, 2016 05:39PM

Grow a pair. My holiday message

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: December 19, 2016 07:00PM

Wally Joyner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Grow a pair. My holiday message


Up yours asshole!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Imy4 ()
Date: December 19, 2016 07:26PM

Party with shit and eggnog at Brown Onions! Metamucil for dessert.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: December 19, 2016 08:22PM

I had me a kinda rough day today. Eatin that stove top stuffin yesterday waz a bad idea. Im goint to bed right now so as I can be sharp at work tommorow. Happi Holidayze everybody!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 20, 2016 08:04AM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I had me a kinda rough day today. Eatin that stove
> top stuffin yesterday waz a bad idea. Im goint to
> bed right now so as I can be sharp at work
> tommorow. Happi Holidayze everybody!


Oh shit. Stove Top is truly awful. On a plus note what's left might stuff a turkey.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 20, 2016 09:36AM

Okay glad to report my sisters rectum will be okay for Christmas, and she can actually have a purpose in the kitchen cooking the ham and other foods. Our ungrateful asshole brother Clarence will be joining us. A bit worried as there will be three of us with IBS, other people with superior bowels, and only two groan thrones.

Do Dons Johns rent out in living rooms? I know these are Mexican rocket ships, but one in the living room could prevent Christmas from disaster.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Splatter ()
Date: December 20, 2016 12:13PM

Sitting with my boss was uncomfortable. He's giving me medical leave to get help for my problems. It's so hard to hear about unhealthy distractions at work and how your mess ruined everyone's work environment. I have to go to a doctor. Having read what you all have not sure if it will help or not. Either way a bad day.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Imy4 ()
Date: December 20, 2016 02:36PM

A scat party at Brown Onion house for Xmas.

White klan robes with brown in back big bellies incest scat decorations scat trees scat wreaths scat foods and drinks

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 20, 2016 06:25PM

The midwives are here as dilation is at a very close to the brink point. They are correct as that plus the aromas are an indicator of a big one rolling out of the intestines and through my fish shortly.

I'm thankful for the grips to hold to and the fan belt in my teeth. This one is going to hurt.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 20, 2016 09:31PM

I had no knowledge my bowels could ignite a fire works factory in Mexico. A shame it couldn't get the illegals here, but on the plus note perhaps the border patrol can get a much deserved coffee break.

That definitely was an explosive shit. Far more effective at wetback elimination than my Buick.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Dave Johns ()
Date: December 21, 2016 07:16AM

Good morning guys. Had my constitutional this morning. Larger than usual not sure what food group caused it but guessing bread. It was painful and I'm glad it's over. There was a lot of gas before is that an indication of anything?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 21, 2016 08:19AM

Dave Johns Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Good morning guys. Had my constitutional this
> morning. Larger than usual not sure what food
> group caused it but guessing bread. It was painful
> and I'm glad it's over. There was a lot of gas
> before is that an indication of anything?


That would be from your upper especially, but lower intestine too. The difference of foods that are easy to process or not. Foods such as bread are in the non bowel friendly area of grocery stores.

These can make you dig up mud from the bottom of the pond to the delivery of large ordinance. I see sadly my bowels did more damage than what it appeared in Mexico but heads of lettuce won't be stolen today .

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Dave Johns ()
Date: December 21, 2016 09:37AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dave Johns Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Good morning guys. Had my constitutional this
> > morning. Larger than usual not sure what food
> > group caused it but guessing bread. It was
> painful
> > and I'm glad it's over. There was a lot of gas
> > before is that an indication of anything?
>
>
> That would be from your upper especially, but
> lower intestine too. The difference of foods that
> are easy to process or not. Foods such as bread
> are in the non bowel friendly area of grocery
> stores.
>
> These can make you dig up mud from the bottom of
> the pond to the delivery of large ordinance. I see
> sadly my bowels did more damage than what it
> appeared in Mexico but heads of lettuce won't be
> stolen today .

Thank you Brown. Will avoid breads then as it hurt.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Hard Wiper ()
Date: December 21, 2016 09:38AM

Purchased more TP for church.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 21, 2016 11:40AM

Oh the holidays have gotten to an auspicious start as my asshole brother Clarence arrived. His usual lawyer/ New York attitude and wanting a groan throne exclusively for himself. He can afford a hotel to shit in his own groan throne. This is ridiculous!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: December 21, 2016 12:23PM

I went to a Chinese all you can eat. A terrible decision. Why do I keep doing this to my bowels? My entire stomach hurts.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Imy4 ()
Date: December 21, 2016 01:12PM

Scat party at Brown Onions! Spread scat on BEH with presents of scat! Scat stockings! Enjoy the desserts! Made of scat!!!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Poop Patrol ()
Date: December 21, 2016 02:56PM

I went to the GI. I think he's a good doctor but the prescription I'm on does not seem to be helping. It was my hope it would but still oversized odd shapes with painful constipation. My hope is tomorrow that he might have another prescription to try.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: December 21, 2016 03:24PM

Man oh man i got 40 dollars in tips today an had me a normal poop too. This could be one of da better dayz of my life. I wishes all you guyz all tha best!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: December 21, 2016 03:31PM

Imy4 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Scat party at Brown Onions! Spread scat on BEH
> with presents of scat! Scat stockings! Enjoy the
> desserts! Made of scat!!!
Attachments:
giphy.gif

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 21, 2016 06:59PM

Bet you think those five Granny Smith apples look tasty, with their shiny green color and cheaper pricing.

Be wary because while my bowels didn't scream like old equipment tonight, the bloating and terrible gaseous aromas. Both my sister and brother complained about it, and a young man at CVS was given breathing salts.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 21, 2016 06:59PM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Man oh man i got 40 dollars in tips today an had
> me a normal poop too. This could be one of da
> better dayz of my life. I wishes all you guyz all
> tha best!


You too red onion, just avoid green apples with the cash.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 5am guy ()
Date: December 22, 2016 05:02AM

Hi all! 5am guy checking in once again. 5am guy has to work Christmas eve and Christmas day this year. Everyone at 5am guys workplace has to work some holidays because we have to have at least one person here 27/7/365 other than a hour here and there for a lunch break.
5am guy got a gift in the mail, 5am guy got a hickory farms beef log with cheese and crackers. 5am guy thinks this is a gift of intestinal disruption but it's the thought that counts.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 22, 2016 10:21AM

5am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all! 5am guy checking in once again. 5am guy
> has to work Christmas eve and Christmas day this
> year. Everyone at 5am guys workplace has to work
> some holidays because we have to have at least one
> person here 27/7/365 other than a hour here and
> there for a lunch break.
> 5am guy got a gift in the mail, 5am guy got a
> hickory farms beef log with cheese and crackers.
> 5am guy thinks this is a gift of intestinal
> disruption but it's the thought that counts.

I'm sorry you have to work Christmas 5 am. And perhaps we could gift wrap that food for anon dick, so his bowels blow a gasket and he can maybe empathize a bit more.

Thinking about a vat of castor oil purchase today.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: December 22, 2016 12:01PM

My guess is that the Sarku Express wasn't the best choice. This was my first time with sushi rolls. My hope is my bowels are okay with this. If not prayers help.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: December 22, 2016 12:05PM

Afternoon BiBs, and Merry Christmas to all! Here's hoping Santa brings all of you something to ease your digestive problems.

Speaking of granny smith apples, they have the opposite effect on me. Gets things moving about 1/2 hour after I eat one.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 22, 2016 01:34PM

Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Afternoon BiBs, and Merry Christmas to all!
> Here's hoping Santa brings all of you something to
> ease your digestive problems.
>
> Speaking of granny smith apples, they have the
> opposite effect on me. Gets things moving about
> 1/2 hour after I eat one.


Diced, raw fish for your starfish =bad combination.

Deadly Combo Merry Christmas to you and your bowels. I agree with you that the apples can start up the machinery below but good heavens the pungent aromas are nothing short of dreadful.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Splatter ()
Date: December 22, 2016 03:40PM

This break from work isn't so bad after all. No accidents in public and no boss breathing down my neck. I wish the diarrhea would stop but at least at home it's better.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Imy4 ()
Date: December 22, 2016 07:40PM

Visit Brown Onion and BEH, your hosts for Scat Night 2016 Brown Christmas. Play pin the tail on the scat or adventure on the streets in Pokemon Scat Go. Try the brown egg nog. It's not poop they promise. Or scat moon pies!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 23, 2016 06:29AM

Brown Splatter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This break from work isn't so bad after all. No
> accidents in public and no boss breathing down my
> neck. I wish the diarrhea would stop but at least
> at home it's better.


Either way a #2 not much we can do.

Although on opposite ends of the Bristol Stool Guide we are united in brown brotherhood of bowel.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: December 23, 2016 06:46AM

I iz up early today ta get to work an I already had me a big number 4 this mornin. Looks like a good day today. I has the nex 3 dayz off after today. You would be suprized how many people buy jiffy lube gift cards for cristmas gifts. Mostly older folks seem to be buyin them for there kids. I decided to buy one for my sister an brothea in law too. Merry chriztmas to all you brown brotha guys!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 23, 2016 06:59AM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I iz up early today ta get to work an I already
> had me a big number 4 this mornin. Looks like a
> good day today. I has the nex 3 dayz off after
> today. You would be suprized how many people buy
> jiffy lube gift cards for cristmas gifts. Mostly
> older folks seem to be buyin them for there kids.
> I decided to buy one for my sister an brothea in
> law too. Merry chriztmas to all you brown brotha
> guys!


That's a interesting gift but a practical one red. Merry Christmas to you. What's in store for you and your bowels this holiday? Any family friends or holiday aspirations?

That a very friendly bowel movement. Not looking forward to this Honeybaked ham making its way down the poop chute.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: December 23, 2016 08:04AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I iz up early today ta get to work an I already
> > had me a big number 4 this mornin. Looks like a
> > good day today. I has the nex 3 dayz off after
> > today. You would be suprized how many people
> buy
> > jiffy lube gift cards for cristmas gifts.
> Mostly
> > older folks seem to be buyin them for there
> kids.
> > I decided to buy one for my sister an brothea
> in
> > law too. Merry chriztmas to all you brown
> brotha
> > guys!
>
>
> That's a interesting gift but a practical one red.
> Merry Christmas to you. What's in store for you
> and your bowels this holiday? Any family friends
> or holiday aspirations?
>
> That a very friendly bowel movement. Not looking
> forward to this Honeybaked ham making its way down
> the poop chute.


I iz goin to my sisters house tomorrow me an her family iz goin to tha Presbyterian church for a Christmiz eve service. I will be stayin overnite in their basement. I wonders what her neighbors will think when they see my dented up old car parked in front of the house. I think word has gotton out about me bein a former jailbird. People treat me bad when they find out I waz in prison for 66 months.
I shore do hope you an your family has a nice christmaz brownonion.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Bowel buster ()
Date: December 23, 2016 03:24PM

I was just reading about the worlds largest ham and cheese sandwich. It was made in Mexico but hopefully not in the summertime as that would be bad for the 19 gallons of mayonnaise. The sandwich weighed nearly 7000 pounds. I wonder if any of the sandwich eaters got sick?
Attachments:
ham and cheese.jpg
sandwich eater.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: December 23, 2016 03:57PM

One look at that bowel binding sandwich made my Schphinkter do a summersault.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 23, 2016 10:47PM

My bowels have just been psychologically brutalized by that photograph.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 24, 2016 06:47AM

Goulash. Absolutely nothing left of my starfish.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: December 24, 2016 08:18AM

My bowelz is doin good this morning, like a christmaz eve miracle. Im goin to my sisterz house about noon taday an I know she iz servin honeybaked ham with potato rolls, scalloped potatos and cole slaw from red hot an blue. I just hope I can get back home tommorow before my butt explodes. Oh yeah, an Christmaz mornin we havin bacon an french toast with orange juice. I better put some towels and toilet paper in my car in case I haz an accident.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Imy4 ()
Date: December 24, 2016 09:58AM

Hope you get all the scat you deserve for Xmas

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc. ()
Date: December 24, 2016 11:19AM

I wonder what these juvenile mental midgets will eat and complain about this Christmas.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: December 24, 2016 02:49PM

Well my Christmaz is over. I got to my sisterz house at 11:30 and my brotha in law started talkin to me like I was a piece of shit. When I told him I got fired from my job at da dog food factory this year and got hired at Jiffy Lubez he laughed at me an said anybody who gets fired from a dog food factory is the worldz biggest failure.
I hugged my sister an niece, left their presents and walked the heck out of there. It waz all I could do not to beat hiz ass in front of hiz family. My sister ran out ta my car and apologized but I still drove away. Fuck that guy. Now Im gettin drunk an havin a hungry man for dinner later on.

happi christmaz eve BiBz.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: I have perfect bowels ()
Date: December 24, 2016 09:13PM

That's why I have never posted in this thread before. I eat anything and everything, and take two healthy dumps a day.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 24, 2016 10:32PM

If anyone is looking for a brown honey baked ham that's 30 pounds, brown in color and reeks let me know.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 25, 2016 12:30PM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well my Christmaz is over. I got to my sisterz
> house at 11:30 and my brotha in law started talkin
> to me like I was a piece of shit. When I told him
> I got fired from my job at da dog food factory
> this year and got hired at Jiffy Lubez he laughed
> at me an said anybody who gets fired from a dog
> food factory is the worldz biggest failure.
> I hugged my sister an niece, left their presents
> and walked the heck out of there. It waz all I
> could do not to beat hiz ass in front of hiz
> family. My sister ran out ta my car and apologized
> but I still drove away. Fuck that guy. Now Im
> gettin drunk an havin a hungry man for dinner
> later on.
>
> happi christmaz eve BiBz.


Merry Christmas Red Onion. My hope is you and your bowels are relatively intact after this.

My brother is such an asshole!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: December 25, 2016 02:00PM

Thankz brownonion. Merry Christmaz to you too.

I drank allmosts a case of beer yesterday an my bowelz are like a 65 car pileup on the interstate. Thank God I aint workin tommorow. My dickhead brotha in law has been sendin me apology texts all day. The lady who lives upstairz just brought me an my roomate a sweet potato pie an a half gallon of Breyers vanilla ice cream, she meanz well but that would cauze my bowelz to crash into the mountain.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Unity Club ()
Date: December 25, 2016 03:27PM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thankz brownonion. Merry Christmaz to you too.
>
> I drank allmosts a case of beer yesterday an my
> bowelz are like a 65 car pileup on the interstate.
> Thank God I aint workin tommorow. My dickhead
> brotha in law has been sendin me apology texts all
> day. The lady who lives upstairz just brought me
> an my roomate a sweet potato pie an a half gallon
> of Breyers vanilla ice cream, she meanz well but
> that would cauze my bowelz to crash into the
> mountain.

AA has meetings all day today in this area. Try Unity Club in Falls Church. good luck.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: bybjd ()
Date: December 25, 2016 03:31PM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well my Christmaz is over. I got to my sisterz
> house at 11:30 and my brotha in law started talkin
> to me like I was a piece of shit. When I told him
> I got fired from my job at da dog food factory
> this year and got hired at Jiffy Lubez he laughed
> at me an said anybody who gets fired from a dog
> food factory is the worldz biggest failure.
> I hugged my sister an niece, left their presents
> and walked the heck out of there. It waz all I
> could do not to beat hiz ass in front of hiz
> family. My sister ran out ta my car and apologized
> but I still drove away. Fuck that guy. Now Im
> gettin drunk an havin a hungry man for dinner
> later on.
>
> happi christmaz eve BiBz.

The way to get ahead is to not hold resentments and not drink. Forgive your brother in law and see how sad it is for him he has to pile on you to feel good about himself. There is a list of places open tonight on the FFX forum here check it out and chuck the frozen dinner.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 25, 2016 06:18PM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thankz brownonion. Merry Christmaz to you too.
>
> I drank allmosts a case of beer yesterday an my
> bowelz are like a 65 car pileup on the interstate.
> Thank God I aint workin tommorow. My dickhead
> brotha in law has been sendin me apology texts all
> day. The lady who lives upstairz just brought me
> an my roomate a sweet potato pie an a half gallon
> of Breyers vanilla ice cream, she meanz well but
> that would cauze my bowelz to crash into the
> mountain.



Are you sure this isn't a Trojan horse?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: December 26, 2016 07:06AM

Slovak Christmas nice. No problem. Open presents exchange gifts good foods.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 26, 2016 07:45AM

Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Slovak Christmas nice. No problem. Open presents
> exchange gifts good foods.


Good morning Gordo and perhaps I should eat Slovak foods as my bowels have faced last night adversity of a WW2 soldier at Guadalcanal.

Merry belated Christmas. My spoiled bastard younger brother and sister both occupy the groan thrones right now. A lot of yelling and bad aromas right now.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: December 26, 2016 08:51AM

My hangover iz finally over but my azz is still hangin over the bowl.

This waz the worst outside of prison Christmas I eva had.


Good luck brownonion, I hope there iz a available shitter when you need it.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 26, 2016 10:55AM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My hangover iz finally over but my azz is still
> hangin over the bowl.
>
> This waz the worst outside of prison Christmas I
> eva had.
>
>
> Good luck brownonion, I hope there iz a available
> shitter when you need it.


On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate what's left of your bowels and starfish?

This time of year is like the Running of the Bulls on our poor bowels. A shame we can't really enjoy in the festivities, or if we do there's hell to pay.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: December 26, 2016 12:18PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > My hangover iz finally over but my azz is still
> > hangin over the bowl.
> >
> > This waz the worst outside of prison Christmas
> I
> > eva had.
> >
> >
> > Good luck brownonion, I hope there iz a
> available
> > shitter when you need it.
>
>
> On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate
> what's left of your bowels and starfish?
>
> This time of year is like the Running of the Bulls
> on our poor bowels. A shame we can't really enjoy
> in the festivities, or if we do there's hell to
> pay.


I gives my bowels a 2.5 and the fish is a solid 3.

Now I got to drag my sore azz over to Giant to go grocery shoppin for the week. Rice, veggies and whole wheat pita bread an maybe skinless chicken breast is goin to be on the menu this week till I gets fully recovered. My sister gave me a 100 dollar gift card for Giant as a Christmaz present.Im gonna lay off the beer till new years eves.

How are you an yo siblings doin brownonion?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Poop eater ()
Date: December 26, 2016 12:24PM

Brown Onion/gerry/peekza I heard you devoured a massive Santa-sized shit log for xmas. How did it taste?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 26, 2016 07:13PM

Glad to hear red your fish is relatively intact.

I've just left the groan throne with entrails dragging.

Now Matilda and Clarence are on the groan thrones.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 5am guy ()
Date: December 27, 2016 04:16AM

Hi all! 5am guy checking in a little earlier than usual tonight.
5am guy has a new twist on his pooping atmosphere. 5am guy bought one of those star shower lights that so many people are shining on their houses for holiday decoration. 5am guy put a clamp on his star shower and 5an guy clamps it to the top of the bathroom stall and it lights up the whole bathroom with groovy light patterns. 5am guy dropped and broke one of his lava lamps which made a huge mess for 5am guy to clean. 5am guy has been using whale song some nights and native American chants on other nights.

5am guy hopes that all you brown guys are having a wonderful holiday season.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 27, 2016 07:16AM

5am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all! 5am guy checking in a little earlier than
> usual tonight.
> 5am guy has a new twist on his pooping atmosphere.
> 5am guy bought one of those star shower lights
> that so many people are shining on their houses
> for holiday decoration. 5am guy put a clamp on his
> star shower and 5an guy clamps it to the top of
> the bathroom stall and it lights up the whole
> bathroom with groovy light patterns. 5am guy
> dropped and broke one of his lava lamps which made
> a huge mess for 5am guy to clean. 5am guy has been
> using whale song some nights and native American
> chants on other nights.
>
> 5am guy hopes that all you brown guys are having a
> wonderful holiday season.

Do these lights make the groan throne psychedelic? These new strategies seem useful when hoisting smelly bags of cement.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: re-use the drop cloths ()
Date: December 27, 2016 10:31AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Okay glad to report my sisters rectum will be okay
> for Christmas, and she can actually have a purpose
> in the kitchen cooking the ham and other foods.
> Our ungrateful asshole brother Clarence will be
> joining us. A bit worried as there will be three
> of us with IBS, other people with superior bowels,
> and only two groan thrones.
>
> Do Dons Johns rent out in living rooms? I know
> these are Mexican rocket ships, but one in the
> living room could prevent Christmas from disaster.

Do you re-use the drop cloths for your scat parties or buy new?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Foul bowel ()
Date: December 27, 2016 12:23PM

5am guy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi all! 5am guy checking in a little earlier than
> usual tonight.
> 5am guy has a new twist on his pooping atmosphere.
> 5am guy bought one of those star shower lights
> that so many people are shining on their houses
> for holiday decoration. 5am guy put a clamp on his
> star shower and 5an guy clamps it to the top of
> the bathroom stall and it lights up the whole
> bathroom with groovy light patterns. 5am guy
> dropped and broke one of his lava lamps which made
> a huge mess for 5am guy to clean. 5am guy has been
> using whale song some nights and native American
> chants on other nights.
>
> 5am guy hopes that all you brown guys are having a
> wonderful holiday season.


I remember you mentioning you were a homosexual in a past thread. Do you have your anal mansex in there as well? Sounds like the hippest gloryhole in town! Enjoy sucking a multitude of cocks.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 27, 2016 01:30PM

Guess we can add Carrie Fisher and George Michael to the not to worry about their bowels list.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: December 27, 2016 01:47PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Guess we can add Carrie Fisher and George Michael
> to the not to worry about their bowels list.


Brings to mind the irony of death. As a person dies, they void their bowels.

Can you imagine the tragedy of having the best evacuation of your life and not be alive to see it?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 27, 2016 02:35PM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Guess we can add Carrie Fisher and George
> Michael
> > to the not to worry about their bowels list.
>
>
> Brings to mind the irony of death. As a person
> dies, they void their bowels.
>
> Can you imagine the tragedy of having the best
> evacuation of your life and not be alive to see
> it?


You aren't kidding. Since George already had his shit packed it must have been tremendous.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: dive bomber ()
Date: December 27, 2016 08:13PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Guess we can add Carrie Fisher and George Michael
> to the not to worry about their bowels list.


I think Carrie's best role was the Blues brothers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftt4f2H3GDs

I bet her bowels were top notch.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 28, 2016 09:01AM

dive bomber Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Guess we can add Carrie Fisher and George
> Michael
> > to the not to worry about their bowels list.
>
>
> I think Carrie's best role was the Blues
> brothers.
>
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftt4f2H3GDs
>
> I bet her bowels were top notch.


Yes considering she most likely didn't use her bowels as some sort of entertainment center absolutely dive.

Any post Christmas disasters or are your bowels okay?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Food poisoning last night ()
Date: December 28, 2016 09:31AM

Food poisoning last night - shit the bed. Not a lot but looks like a few oz came out. Fucking had to wash sheets and undies immediately then shower. Never happened to me before. If this is what you all have to deal with on a regular basis I pity you all.

suspects are raw Kale, raw squash (bag) or leftover food neighbors gave us. All go in the bin today.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 28, 2016 11:24AM

Food poisoning last night Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Food poisoning last night - shit the bed. Not a
> lot but looks like a few oz came out. Fucking had
> to wash sheets and undies immediately then shower.
> Never happened to me before. If this is what you
> all have to deal with on a regular basis I pity
> you all.
>
> suspects are raw Kale, raw squash (bag) or
> leftover food neighbor gave us. All go in the
> bin today.


Sorry you had to go down the brown river for a taste. It sounds like you are experiencing what Splatter and Gordo go through.

How's your fish and hope those weren't thousand threadsheets.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: December 28, 2016 12:56PM

Had to take me a during work dump. Our rsetroom iz in the customer waitin area. It waz embarrassing takin the walk of shame out of the menz room as the odor waz strong an waz 4 customers lookin disgusted at me.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Diced Onion ()
Date: December 28, 2016 01:25PM

Dominos what the fuck was I thinking! My poor bowels!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Imy4 ()
Date: December 28, 2016 02:13PM

You all have a scat house?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mr Brown Underwear ()
Date: December 28, 2016 07:38PM

If you were incontinent you'd not mock anyone here bastard

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: December 28, 2016 08:19PM

Ate a big salad today. The rumblings from down below have begun!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 29, 2016 07:14AM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ate a big salad today. The rumblings from down
> below have begun!


If you shit out a head of lettuce you'll know.

My family members are gone as I sit here with sore bowels.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: December 29, 2016 09:03AM

My boss is bringin in a big homade lasagna an garlic bread lunch for us today he says hiz wife makes it with lots ov italian sausage an ground beef. I dont wanna seem ungreatful but i dosent know about eatin that. I mean its probably great tastin stuff but damn! I guess im gonna have to eat some ta be polite so thinga aint lookin too good for my bowelz.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: December 29, 2016 09:25AM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ate a big salad today. The rumblings from down
> below have begun!

Reminds me of when an olive pit from a Greek Salad got wedged in my anal fistula, resulting in persistent drainage, and then recurrent anal abscesses.

Eventually, I had to submit to surgery.

A post operative infection resulted in septic shock. Goodness, would not want to go through that again.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 'I spilled' ()
Date: December 29, 2016 09:32AM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Food poisoning last night Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Food poisoning last night - shit the bed. Not
> a
> > lot but looks like a few oz came out. Fucking
> had
> > to wash sheets and undies immediately then
> shower.
> > Never happened to me before. If this is what
> you
> > all have to deal with on a regular basis I pity
> > you all.
> >
> > suspects are raw Kale, raw squash (bag) or
> > leftover food neighbor gave us. All go in the
> > bin today.
>
>
> Sorry you had to go down the brown river for a
> taste. It sounds like you are experiencing what
> Splatter and Gordo go through.
>
> How's your fish and hope those weren't thousand
> threadsheets.

Told the wife I washed the sheets because 'I spilled' (hopefully she imagined coffee) - didnt want her to know the real horror story. Fish is fine. Soup-farts while sleeping OMFG. Found out I had eaten 3 week old opened greek yogurt. Im blessed to have passed over 50 years without this kind of shit.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 29, 2016 12:10PM

Ah the shits on the sheets.

First off, the 40s are a slight warning to the inevitable bowel betrayal.


50 is the median year when shit gets real as my rugrats say. That's when everything from comforters to plaid pants being obliterated.

Do you need a hazmat team and welcome, as your brothers in bowel support you!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 29, 2016 12:11PM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My boss is bringin in a big homade lasagna an
> garlic bread lunch for us today he says hiz wife
> makes it with lots ov italian sausage an ground
> beef. I dont wanna seem ungreatful but i dosent
> know about eatin that. I mean its probably great
> tastin stuff but damn! I guess im gonna have to
> eat some ta be polite so thinga aint lookin too
> good for my bowelz.


This is a dicey situation Red. Well intended yes. But cover your ass!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: December 29, 2016 12:50PM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Ate a big salad today. The rumblings from down
> > below have begun!
>
> Reminds me of when an olive pit from a Greek Salad
> got wedged in my anal fistula, resulting in
> persistent drainage, and then recurrent anal
> abscesses.
>
> Eventually, I had to submit to surgery.
>
> A post operative infection resulted in septic
> shock. Goodness, would not want to go through that
> again.

Man o man that sounds bad! When i waz in prison there waz a guy who did snmpthin to piss off one of the gangs so the gang leader ordered a rape. It took the gang a couple months ta set it up but in the end the guy got raped 3 times while 6 gang members held him down. I think he was in tha hospitol for a week and then transfered to the prison infirmary for another 2 weeks, well he got a infection an almost died from it , they had to take him bac to the hospital an i never seen him again cauze they transfered him to another prison. I heard he snitched about someone who had weed and chewing tobbaco on him. Some of the guards would trade some food or smokes for information. Ass infections can be very bad.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: red onion class of 2006 ()
Date: December 29, 2016 12:59PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > My boss is bringin in a big homade lasagna an
> > garlic bread lunch for us today he says hiz
> wife
> > makes it with lots ov italian sausage an ground
> > beef. I dont wanna seem ungreatful but i dosent
> > know about eatin that. I mean its probably
> great
> > tastin stuff but damn! I guess im gonna have to
> > eat some ta be polite so thinga aint lookin too
> > good for my bowelz.
>
>
> This is a dicey situation Red. Well intended yes.
> But cover your ass!


As it turnd out i got a big slice of lasagna an said i waz gonna eat it in my car so i slid it under the seat whilst i ate my orange an granola bar. I told the boss it waz a very good meal. That way i didnt offend him an it smells good in my car now.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: pants being obliterated ()
Date: December 29, 2016 01:06PM

Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ah the shits on the sheets.
>
> First off, the 40s are a slight warning to the
> inevitable bowel betrayal.
>
>
> 50 is the median year when shit gets real as my
> rugrats say. That's when everything from
> comforters to plaid pants being obliterated.
>
> Do you need a hazmat team and welcome, as your
> brothers in bowel support you!


Thanks for your sympathy and creepy offer to help - this is food poisoning not a life style change. Quite probably facilitated by a digestive system primed with foods I normally do not eat such as white flour (cookies) and sweets (chocs from xmas).

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 29, 2016 02:38PM

pants being obliterated Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Ah the shits on the sheets.
> >
> > First off, the 40s are a slight warning to the
> > inevitable bowel betrayal.
> >
> >
> > 50 is the median year when shit gets real as my
> > rugrats say. That's when everything from
> > comforters to plaid pants being obliterated.
> >
> > Do you need a hazmat team and welcome, as your
> > brothers in bowel support you!
>
>
> Thanks for your sympathy and creepy offer to help
> - this is food poisoning not a life style change.
> Quite probably facilitated by a digestive system
> primed with foods I normally do not eat such as
> white flour (cookies) and sweets (chocs from
> xmas).

Shows the depravity those with super bowels will go through to join our ranks.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 29, 2016 02:39PM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > My boss is bringin in a big homade lasagna an
> > > garlic bread lunch for us today he says hiz
> > wife
> > > makes it with lots ov italian sausage an
> ground
> > > beef. I dont wanna seem ungreatful but i
> dosent
> > > know about eatin that. I mean its probably
> > great
> > > tastin stuff but damn! I guess im gonna have
> to
> > > eat some ta be polite so thinga aint lookin
> too
> > > good for my bowelz.
> >
> >
> > This is a dicey situation Red. Well intended
> yes.
> > But cover your ass!
>
>
> As it turnd out i got a big slice of lasagna an
> said i waz gonna eat it in my car so i slid it
> under the seat whilst i ate my orange an granola
> bar. I told the boss it waz a very good meal. That
> way i didnt offend him an it smells good in my car
> now.

Good for job security Red Onion but I pray for your bowels.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 29, 2016 02:53PM

red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BEH Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > red onion class of 2006 Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Ate a big salad today. The rumblings from
> down
> > > below have begun!
> >
> > Reminds me of when an olive pit from a Greek
> Salad
> > got wedged in my anal fistula, resulting in
> > persistent drainage, and then recurrent anal
> > abscesses.
> >
> > Eventually, I had to submit to surgery.
> >
> > A post operative infection resulted in septic
> > shock. Goodness, would not want to go through
> that
> > again.
>
> Man o man that sounds bad! When i waz in prison
> there waz a guy who did snmpthin to piss off one
> of the gangs so the gang leader ordered a rape. It
> took the gang a couple months ta set it up but in
> the end the guy got raped 3 times while 6 gang
> members held him down. I think he was in tha
> hospitol for a week and then transfered to the
> prison infirmary for another 2 weeks, well he got
> a infection an almost died from it , they had to
> take him bac to the hospital an i never seen him
> again cauze they transfered him to another prison.
> I heard he snitched about someone who had weed and
> chewing tobbaco on him. Some of the guards would
> trade some food or smokes for information. Ass
> infections can be very bad.

That's scary some inmates decided to brutalize someone's bowels.

Bowels while a bit smelly are sacred ground.


A visual interpretation could be Arlington National Cemetery with shades of brown thrown around for good measure.

Bowels aren't a jungle gym nor should they be used for behavior modification or coercion. My bowels hurt thinking about what this poor man endured.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Poop Patrol ()
Date: December 29, 2016 03:55PM

Hi fellas still haven't heard back from the doctor. Hoping it's just the holidays but want to see if he or anyone here, knows any meds for large dagger like poops.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 5am guy ()
Date: December 30, 2016 04:47AM

5am guy says happy new year!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 5 on the Bristol ()
Date: December 30, 2016 09:03AM

Post food poisoning my poop is a 5 on the Bristol and the color of uncooked hot dogs - weird. Hopefully back to normal today...

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Brown Onion ()
Date: December 30, 2016 09:09AM

Expelling what's left of 2016 has left a foul stench

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