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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: May 12, 2015 07:58AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Do they have North and South Sliced?
>
> Last night was like the civil war. Picketts charge
> against uncooperative bowels.
>
> The midwives have left, but I'm not looking
> forward to discussing this with my sister over
> lunch.
I will have to check on the North and south BO.
I just got to work and I had to leave my powder room throne clogged this morning. I dropped something about the size of a starter motor for a 1975 Dodge dart in there this morning and my plunger was of no use. The merry maids come today and they will not be very merry when the smell from the powder room drifts under the door. I locked the door and put a out of order sign on it. I am feeling good but there will be a grim task waiting for me when I get home. I am pretty sure the fabreeze I sprayed is going to be ineffective.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Do they have North and South Sliced?
>
> Last night was like the civil war. Picketts charge
> against uncooperative bowels.
>
> The midwives have left, but I'm not looking
> forward to discussing this with my sister over
> lunch.
I will have to check on the North and south BO.
I just got to work and I had to leave my powder room throne clogged this morning. I dropped something about the size of a starter motor for a 1975 Dodge dart in there this morning and my plunger was of no use. The merry maids come today and they will not be very merry when the smell from the powder room drifts under the door. I locked the door and put a out of order sign on it. I am feeling good but there will be a grim task waiting for me when I get home. I am pretty sure the fabreeze I sprayed is going to be ineffective.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
foxy drinky
()
Date: May 12, 2015 08:11AM
Do you guys ever drink sparks? Try drinking a few cans of those in the evening before you go to bed. You might get a good suprise when you hit the toilet in the morning. Try it. Just my humble opinion. Wishing for a good day to all.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 12, 2015 10:29AM
Sliced,
Was that the one with the slant 6? Ouch. And your cover up is admirable, but there's a maid this morning, who probably seems to need an exorcism.
It's a good series, about twenty hours in duration, and obviously you can relate to cannon balls.
Foxy the idea of that is bowel scary.
Was that the one with the slant 6? Ouch. And your cover up is admirable, but there's a maid this morning, who probably seems to need an exorcism.
It's a good series, about twenty hours in duration, and obviously you can relate to cannon balls.
Foxy the idea of that is bowel scary.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 12, 2015 11:25AM
Well its going to be a fucked up lunch.
Not only do I have to deal with her bowels of woe, but also the rugrats. Matilda does not seem to understand, despite our shared problem, that she needs to control the rugrats when I'm on the crapper.
Not only do I have to deal with her bowels of woe, but also the rugrats. Matilda does not seem to understand, despite our shared problem, that she needs to control the rugrats when I'm on the crapper.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: May 12, 2015 01:19PM
Due to my plumbing issues this morning I had no time to pack my lunch. We will see what happens now as I just finished off a whopper with extra pickle and medium fries. Why I do this sort of thing to my digestive system I guess I will never know. I went in to burger king prepared to buy a salad and iced tea but those whoppers smelled so good I could not resist.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 12, 2015 06:54PM
It's all good Sliced. I hope Saint Bonaventure will take pity upon your bowels. Here's to you getting a free brown pass.
Now watching the news but I know what's growing inside me. A baby would beat this shit. Plus dealing with Matilda's shit all day, it's going to be a big smelly bowel buster.
Now watching the news but I know what's growing inside me. A baby would beat this shit. Plus dealing with Matilda's shit all day, it's going to be a big smelly bowel buster.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
confucious say
()
Date: May 12, 2015 07:10PM
Never trust a fart...just when you think it OK to let loose, it is a wet one!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 12, 2015 09:45PM
confucious say Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Never trust a fart...just when you think it OK to
> let loose, it is a wet one!
Very wise advice. Especially for Gordo. I hope his bowels have withstood rivers of Hershey
-------------------------------------------------------
> Never trust a fart...just when you think it OK to
> let loose, it is a wet one!
Very wise advice. Especially for Gordo. I hope his bowels have withstood rivers of Hershey
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
......
()
Date: May 12, 2015 10:11PM
Just had some korean bbq.
In addition, over twice my daily amount of opiates...
Im frightened for my future.
In addition, over twice my daily amount of opiates...
Im frightened for my future.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 13, 2015 06:45AM
...... Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just had some korean bbq.
> In addition, over twice my daily amount of
> opiates...
>
> Im frightened for my future.
That is madness! Your bowels, oh my. Even a good functioning set.
Wow, please update how you are doing, and if you'd like midwives.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just had some korean bbq.
> In addition, over twice my daily amount of
> opiates...
>
> Im frightened for my future.
That is madness! Your bowels, oh my. Even a good functioning set.
Wow, please update how you are doing, and if you'd like midwives.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 13, 2015 10:23AM
I've got my brother Clarence visiting from New York. This asshole stays at a hotel to avoid my "smelly bathrooms" and "screams of pain."
He's very much a New Yorker. Asshole.
He's very much a New Yorker. Asshole.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
owie
()
Date: May 13, 2015 10:38AM
...... Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just had some korean bbq.
> In addition, over twice my daily amount of
> opiates...
>
> Im frightened for my future.
get some flaxseed oil, stat!! Take a few capsules(up to four depending on your individual body size, I say start with two, probably,as a general rule)wash that down with a cup of chamomile tea and a large glass of water. I almost hurt FOR you there!! Hope You feel better soon!!
p.s.have oatmeal with fruit and nuts in it to eat today if you can. Maybe put some honey on it too...
-------------------------------------------------------
> Just had some korean bbq.
> In addition, over twice my daily amount of
> opiates...
>
> Im frightened for my future.
get some flaxseed oil, stat!! Take a few capsules(up to four depending on your individual body size, I say start with two, probably,as a general rule)wash that down with a cup of chamomile tea and a large glass of water. I almost hurt FOR you there!! Hope You feel better soon!!
p.s.have oatmeal with fruit and nuts in it to eat today if you can. Maybe put some honey on it too...
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
......
()
Date: May 13, 2015 12:20PM
Id like to go on the record stating while i understand the humorous framing of ppls posts in this thread i am being 100% serious.
Im embarrassed talking to the fiancee abt this shit. Ba-dump CHH.
Nothing yet guys...but it really only happens maybe 3-4x a week. Making it a literal nightmare.
Tried some cvs laxs...directions start w 1..maybe 2. Took 4. Nothings happened. Its been 48hrs. THAT is how locked up it is. Again 100% serious. Im honestly almost amazed at that.
Im embarrassed talking to the fiancee abt this shit. Ba-dump CHH.
Nothing yet guys...but it really only happens maybe 3-4x a week. Making it a literal nightmare.
Tried some cvs laxs...directions start w 1..maybe 2. Took 4. Nothings happened. Its been 48hrs. THAT is how locked up it is. Again 100% serious. Im honestly almost amazed at that.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
......
()
Date: May 13, 2015 12:21PM
Dude i dunno abt that
oatmeal = nature's cement...
oatmeal = nature's cement...
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: May 13, 2015 12:51PM
Trying to pass a behemoth stool through a beleaguered Sphinkter is tremendously painful.
Almost just as awful is the well meaning but inane diet advice.
Chamomile,flaxseed niggah please!
Next time you want to give medical advice, why not suggest a band aid for a gunshot victim?
Almost just as awful is the well meaning but inane diet advice.
Chamomile,flaxseed niggah please!
Next time you want to give medical advice, why not suggest a band aid for a gunshot victim?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
......
()
Date: May 13, 2015 01:06PM
While i appreciate the advice...
if half a sheet (they werent loose in the bottle) of hardcore laxatives had zero discernable effect...
also i am a tea drinker already...love it w honey and milk.
Only pattern ive noticed is every few days on like the 7th cigarette in a row all of a sudden theres this internal shift and im like gottagoberightback.
if half a sheet (they werent loose in the bottle) of hardcore laxatives had zero discernable effect...
also i am a tea drinker already...love it w honey and milk.
Only pattern ive noticed is every few days on like the 7th cigarette in a row all of a sudden theres this internal shift and im like gottagoberightback.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Ralph Pootawn
()
Date: May 13, 2015 01:12PM
I ate a bacon-wrapped hot dog the other night. I shit 5 times the next day and my anus bled.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc`
()
Date: May 13, 2015 01:27PM
Ralph Pootawn Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I ate a bacon-wrapped hot dog the other night. I
> shit 5 times the next day and my anus bled.
User name Ralph Pootawn,
Do you wonder why people don't take you seriously? You are setting yourself up for failure with a diet involving such "food groups." These write ups become more juvenile each day.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I ate a bacon-wrapped hot dog the other night. I
> shit 5 times the next day and my anus bled.
User name Ralph Pootawn,
Do you wonder why people don't take you seriously? You are setting yourself up for failure with a diet involving such "food groups." These write ups become more juvenile each day.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc`
()
Date: May 13, 2015 01:28PM
BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Trying to pass a behemoth stool through a
> beleaguered Sphinkter is tremendously painful.
>
> Almost just as awful is the well meaning but inane
> diet advice.
>
> Chamomile,flaxseed niggah please!
>
> Next time you want to give medical advice, why not
> suggest a band aid for a gunshot victim?
User name BEH,
While as usual your write ups are full of vulgarities, this is the best advice I've seen from you yet.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Trying to pass a behemoth stool through a
> beleaguered Sphinkter is tremendously painful.
>
> Almost just as awful is the well meaning but inane
> diet advice.
>
> Chamomile,flaxseed niggah please!
>
> Next time you want to give medical advice, why not
> suggest a band aid for a gunshot victim?
User name BEH,
While as usual your write ups are full of vulgarities, this is the best advice I've seen from you yet.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 13, 2015 01:58PM
Anon dick is an asshole. I wonder if he's related to my asshole brother. Or perhaps his butt lover.
I'm taking a break. The sweating and toiling on the groan throne, there are better ways to spend my time than this.
Simply put my entire abdominal area and bowels hurt.
I'm taking a break. The sweating and toiling on the groan throne, there are better ways to spend my time than this.
Simply put my entire abdominal area and bowels hurt.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Ralph Pootawn
()
Date: May 13, 2015 03:11PM
Anon Doc` Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ralph Pootawn Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I ate a bacon-wrapped hot dog the other night.
> I
> > shit 5 times the next day and my anus bled.
>
>
> User name Ralph Pootawn,
>
> Do you wonder why people don't take you seriously?
> You are setting yourself up for failure with a
> diet involving such "food groups." These write ups
> become more juvenile each day.
Yes, yes, you're right. I'm concerned that an anonymous user on FFXU doesn't take me seriously and thinks I'm juvenile. Boo fucking hoo.
Attachments:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ralph Pootawn Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I ate a bacon-wrapped hot dog the other night.
> I
> > shit 5 times the next day and my anus bled.
>
>
> User name Ralph Pootawn,
>
> Do you wonder why people don't take you seriously?
> You are setting yourself up for failure with a
> diet involving such "food groups." These write ups
> become more juvenile each day.
Yes, yes, you're right. I'm concerned that an anonymous user on FFXU doesn't take me seriously and thinks I'm juvenile. Boo fucking hoo.
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: May 13, 2015 03:33PM
Anon Doc is the smelly thumbed egomaniac you just love to hate.
Ralph, sorry to hear about your rectal mishap, but love having you with us.
Ralph, sorry to hear about your rectal mishap, but love having you with us.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Ralph Pootawn
()
Date: May 13, 2015 04:29PM
BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anon Doc is the smelly thumbed egomaniac you just
> love to hate.
>
> Ralph, sorry to hear about your rectal mishap, but
> love having you with us.
thanks buddy
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anon Doc is the smelly thumbed egomaniac you just
> love to hate.
>
> Ralph, sorry to hear about your rectal mishap, but
> love having you with us.
thanks buddy
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 13, 2015 05:39PM
Ralph,
How are your bowels now? Bleeding can be alleviated slightly by witch hazel.
I just dropped an entire Amtrak train out of my ass, although my version was slow. Casey Jones wasn't flushed away.
More details to follow.
How are your bowels now? Bleeding can be alleviated slightly by witch hazel.
I just dropped an entire Amtrak train out of my ass, although my version was slow. Casey Jones wasn't flushed away.
More details to follow.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 13, 2015 06:39PM
Aspirins, ice, witch hazel in hand, I'm soaking on my sitz covered recliner.
That bowel movement, thanks to Clarence bringing NY pizza, was faster than the usual 33 hour trek from mouth to starfish.
It was the equivalent of sliding a Boeing 747, out of a Cessna hangar. The amount of sweating, screaming, jamming my feet in the tiles, and loud prayers to Saint Bonaventure shocked my well experienced midwives and crash cart team.
Another one like this simply can't happen again. I'm afraid of seeing my starfish in the mirror, as it probably looks like a garage door got blown up.
That bowel movement, thanks to Clarence bringing NY pizza, was faster than the usual 33 hour trek from mouth to starfish.
It was the equivalent of sliding a Boeing 747, out of a Cessna hangar. The amount of sweating, screaming, jamming my feet in the tiles, and loud prayers to Saint Bonaventure shocked my well experienced midwives and crash cart team.
Another one like this simply can't happen again. I'm afraid of seeing my starfish in the mirror, as it probably looks like a garage door got blown up.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
......
()
Date: May 13, 2015 06:46PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Aspirins, ice, witch hazel in hand, I'm soaking on
> my sitz covered recliner.
>
> That bowel movement, thanks to Clarence bringing
> NY pizza, was faster than the usual 33 hour trek
> from mouth to starfish.
>
> It was the equivalent of sliding a Boeing 747, out
> of a Cessna hangar. The amount of sweating,
> screaming, jamming my feet in the tiles, and loud
> prayers to Saint Bonaventure shocked my well
> experienced midwives and crash cart team.
>
> Another one like this simply can't happen again.
> I'm afraid of seeing my starfish in the mirror, as
> it probably looks like a garage door got blown up.
.oO its like looking into a mirror...
except more like 33 days from mouth...
At nam-viet in clarendon. Chicken fried rice i think. Cooked rice shouldnt tear the inside of my intestines...
Although i understand theyve stopped throwing rice at weddings as birds have been dying as a result of it swelling internally...
-------------------------------------------------------
> Aspirins, ice, witch hazel in hand, I'm soaking on
> my sitz covered recliner.
>
> That bowel movement, thanks to Clarence bringing
> NY pizza, was faster than the usual 33 hour trek
> from mouth to starfish.
>
> It was the equivalent of sliding a Boeing 747, out
> of a Cessna hangar. The amount of sweating,
> screaming, jamming my feet in the tiles, and loud
> prayers to Saint Bonaventure shocked my well
> experienced midwives and crash cart team.
>
> Another one like this simply can't happen again.
> I'm afraid of seeing my starfish in the mirror, as
> it probably looks like a garage door got blown up.
.oO its like looking into a mirror...
except more like 33 days from mouth...
At nam-viet in clarendon. Chicken fried rice i think. Cooked rice shouldnt tear the inside of my intestines...
Although i understand theyve stopped throwing rice at weddings as birds have been dying as a result of it swelling internally...
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 13, 2015 06:51PM
That sounds like a terrible dish ..... Even if someone who had superior bowels, like Joe Biden ate that, the groan throne at the Naval Observatory would be horrifying for the secret service.
They'd at least have to put something on to cover the smells, the awful aromas wafting through the air.
They'd at least have to put something on to cover the smells, the awful aromas wafting through the air.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
naylor88
()
Date: May 14, 2015 04:54AM
Anon Doc` Wrote:
----------------------
>
>
> User name BEH,
>
> While as usual your write ups are full of
> vulgarities, this is the best advice I've seen
> from you yet.
Anon doc- Got a question for you!
I am experiencing two bowel movements with pain before bowel movement in stomach and severe pain after bowel movement in hands wrists, extreme fatigue and itches around anus with no known cause. CBC, Stool DR, RA Factor are all normal. No medicines have worked till now. Stool is different every time in color and shape. After bowel movement whole day cannot work and doctors are unable to understand. Before bowel movement i experience pain in stomach and this is a signal of bowel movement, sometimes bowel movement is very urgent and i have to go in hurry with pain. Wrist hand pain is very severe plus fatigue and headache is too severe whole day and night. There is no energy due to all this. This problem i have from more than a year ago and still could not know what to do? I have contacted in past doctors like General doctors, Rheumatologist etc. If you can understand these symptoms then at least tell me which doctor should i go? Gastrointestinal Disorders or which doctor. I thing first i should find a right category doctor for instance: if this is gastrointestinal disorder then i should go for this category doctor.
----------------------
>
>
> User name BEH,
>
> While as usual your write ups are full of
> vulgarities, this is the best advice I've seen
> from you yet.
Anon doc- Got a question for you!
I am experiencing two bowel movements with pain before bowel movement in stomach and severe pain after bowel movement in hands wrists, extreme fatigue and itches around anus with no known cause. CBC, Stool DR, RA Factor are all normal. No medicines have worked till now. Stool is different every time in color and shape. After bowel movement whole day cannot work and doctors are unable to understand. Before bowel movement i experience pain in stomach and this is a signal of bowel movement, sometimes bowel movement is very urgent and i have to go in hurry with pain. Wrist hand pain is very severe plus fatigue and headache is too severe whole day and night. There is no energy due to all this. This problem i have from more than a year ago and still could not know what to do? I have contacted in past doctors like General doctors, Rheumatologist etc. If you can understand these symptoms then at least tell me which doctor should i go? Gastrointestinal Disorders or which doctor. I thing first i should find a right category doctor for instance: if this is gastrointestinal disorder then i should go for this category doctor.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
The Bowel mover
()
Date: May 14, 2015 05:14AM
I shit lake Erie out of my ass today at work. I was concinved that Lake Michigan and Superior would follow. slight burning, due to the red sauce.
Lesson:
Do not eat Mexican food from a Mexican restaurant with a Mexican name with less than 5 letters long.
Lesson:
Do not eat Mexican food from a Mexican restaurant with a Mexican name with less than 5 letters long.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 14, 2015 06:07AM
The Bowel mover Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I shit lake Erie out of my ass today at work. I
> was concinved that Lake Michigan and Superior
> would follow. slight burning, due to the red
> sauce.
>
> Lesson:
>
> Do not eat Mexican food from a Mexican restaurant
> with a Mexican name with less than 5 letters long.
Oh Good Heavens no! That's playing Dante's Inferno on your bowels.
Blood curling screams, to be confused with foxes fucking are the only result.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I shit lake Erie out of my ass today at work. I
> was concinved that Lake Michigan and Superior
> would follow. slight burning, due to the red
> sauce.
>
> Lesson:
>
> Do not eat Mexican food from a Mexican restaurant
> with a Mexican name with less than 5 letters long.
Oh Good Heavens no! That's playing Dante's Inferno on your bowels.
Blood curling screams, to be confused with foxes fucking are the only result.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 14, 2015 09:20AM
Naylor,
I'm sorry I didn't see your woes earlier. My brown bad, please forgive me, and shake my hand. I swear I washed with soap and water.
That doesn't sound fun, and I wish you the best of luck to you and your bowels. As for anon dick, fuck him. Based upon my experience, maybe a general family doctor could at least first give you an honest opinion, before having fingers in your ass, and learning about sports teams.
I'm sorry I didn't see your woes earlier. My brown bad, please forgive me, and shake my hand. I swear I washed with soap and water.
That doesn't sound fun, and I wish you the best of luck to you and your bowels. As for anon dick, fuck him. Based upon my experience, maybe a general family doctor could at least first give you an honest opinion, before having fingers in your ass, and learning about sports teams.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Deadly combo
()
Date: May 14, 2015 10:44AM
Ah, the things I do to satisfy my palate. The habanero pepper cheese was tasty going in, but its exit was less than joyful. Johnny Cash and "Ring of Fire" come to mind...lol.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
JCash
()
Date: May 14, 2015 08:34PM
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
......
()
Date: May 14, 2015 08:46PM
Roll call.
Just checkin in w everyone.
Still nothing...its been abt 3 days...hopefully tonight...i hate getting rid of it...but i hate the thought of 9+ meals and god knows how many pounds inside me more.
Just checkin in w everyone.
Still nothing...its been abt 3 days...hopefully tonight...i hate getting rid of it...but i hate the thought of 9+ meals and god knows how many pounds inside me more.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
......
()
Date: May 14, 2015 08:47PM
Of all things This is making me seriously consider a detox...get the gorilla off the back. And out of my large intestine.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Bombs away
()
Date: May 15, 2015 04:14AM
I didnt poo for 4 days. I usually dont go at home cuz at work they have better toilets. You know, those turbo supersonic sonic flusher ones with the silver handles that sound like a jet taking off.
So I waited the whole weekend and it was too long. By the time I had to go, I already was 20 min into my break time. I pushed so hard I thought I was gonna blow a blood vessel. I ripped my asshole getting that thing out.
I went to flush, and hear that wonderful jet sound. Instead it made this terrifying choking and gurgling sound. Water started spraying everywhere.
My poop clogget a jet toilet. I got the hell out of there before anyone noticed. I think I am only one of the very few who have accomplished this feat. I deserve a reward.
So I waited the whole weekend and it was too long. By the time I had to go, I already was 20 min into my break time. I pushed so hard I thought I was gonna blow a blood vessel. I ripped my asshole getting that thing out.
I went to flush, and hear that wonderful jet sound. Instead it made this terrifying choking and gurgling sound. Water started spraying everywhere.
My poop clogget a jet toilet. I got the hell out of there before anyone noticed. I think I am only one of the very few who have accomplished this feat. I deserve a reward.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
......
()
Date: May 15, 2015 06:10AM
Bombs away Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I didnt poo for 4 days. I usually dont go at home
> cuz at work they have better toilets. You know,
> those turbo supersonic sonic flusher ones with the
> silver handles that sound like a jet taking off.
>
> So I waited the whole weekend and it was too long.
> By the time I had to go, I already was 20 min into
> my break time. I pushed so hard I thought I was
> gonna blow a blood vessel. I ripped my asshole
> getting that thing out.
>
> I went to flush, and hear that wonderful jet
> sound. Instead it made this terrifying choking and
> gurgling sound. Water started spraying everywhere.
now you know what my life is like. Minus the turbo-flush.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I didnt poo for 4 days. I usually dont go at home
> cuz at work they have better toilets. You know,
> those turbo supersonic sonic flusher ones with the
> silver handles that sound like a jet taking off.
>
> So I waited the whole weekend and it was too long.
> By the time I had to go, I already was 20 min into
> my break time. I pushed so hard I thought I was
> gonna blow a blood vessel. I ripped my asshole
> getting that thing out.
>
> I went to flush, and hear that wonderful jet
> sound. Instead it made this terrifying choking and
> gurgling sound. Water started spraying everywhere.
now you know what my life is like. Minus the turbo-flush.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 15, 2015 07:10AM
The food groups Deadly brought up sound painful.
To clog up a super flush is something I'm afraid, okay I've done it.
Plumbers mock us and charge us huge amounts.
To all brothers in bowel I wish you and your bowels the best.
To clog up a super flush is something I'm afraid, okay I've done it.
Plumbers mock us and charge us huge amounts.
To all brothers in bowel I wish you and your bowels the best.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
vccce
()
Date: May 15, 2015 09:00AM
When I'm real horny I like to snort poppers while having a dump on the toilet while jacking off too. Anyone else?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 15, 2015 09:11AM
vccce Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When I'm real horny I like to snort poppers while
> having a dump on the toilet while jacking off too.
> Anyone else?
You've left me speechless. Dropping a airplane can be enjoyable?
-------------------------------------------------------
> When I'm real horny I like to snort poppers while
> having a dump on the toilet while jacking off too.
> Anyone else?
You've left me speechless. Dropping a airplane can be enjoyable?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Halo Watcher
()
Date: May 15, 2015 10:11AM
:
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: May 15, 2015 11:06AM
Halo Watcher Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> :
You wonder why patients whom have ulcerative colitis, IBS, and other GI disorders are nervous to seek help? Write ups such as this, deter and dissuade those who really do need medical assistance.
-------------------------------------------------------
> :
You wonder why patients whom have ulcerative colitis, IBS, and other GI disorders are nervous to seek help? Write ups such as this, deter and dissuade those who really do need medical assistance.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: May 15, 2015 11:22AM
We're saving these people a lot of misery.
Ano-Recto doctors are, as a rule, useless, arrogant and unsympathetic.
Just like the robotic Anon Doc.
Thanks for proving my point.
Ano-Recto doctors are, as a rule, useless, arrogant and unsympathetic.
Just like the robotic Anon Doc.
Thanks for proving my point.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: May 15, 2015 11:29AM
User Name BEH,
My job first and foremost is patient care. That's why I went to medical school, as my uncle had digestive issues, and I wanted to help human beings feel better. I do not like to brag, but my education and training, have resulted in patients who have actually sent thank you notes.
Please go back to the lunch room, and make your chicken sandwiches.
My job first and foremost is patient care. That's why I went to medical school, as my uncle had digestive issues, and I wanted to help human beings feel better. I do not like to brag, but my education and training, have resulted in patients who have actually sent thank you notes.
Please go back to the lunch room, and make your chicken sandwiches.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: May 15, 2015 11:37AM
User name Anon Doc,
You're not the first useless piece of shit to graduate from medical school.
Now go to the bathroom and trim the hangnail on your smelly thumb.
You're not the first useless piece of shit to graduate from medical school.
Now go to the bathroom and trim the hangnail on your smelly thumb.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 15, 2015 01:04PM
Anon dick is a grandiose self serving asshole.
He just wants to get in your rectum and wallet. In many ways he's a mideval savage, plundering at will, with his victors go the spoils mentality.
He just wants to get in your rectum and wallet. In many ways he's a mideval savage, plundering at will, with his victors go the spoils mentality.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Ralph Pootawn
()
Date: May 15, 2015 01:15PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ralph,
>
> How are your bowels now? Bleeding can be
> alleviated slightly by witch hazel.
>
> I just dropped an entire Amtrak train out of my
> ass, although my version was slow. Casey Jones
> wasn't flushed away.
>
> More details to follow.
Much better now, thanks. Had too much cab sav last night and been shitting green and purple all day.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ralph,
>
> How are your bowels now? Bleeding can be
> alleviated slightly by witch hazel.
>
> I just dropped an entire Amtrak train out of my
> ass, although my version was slow. Casey Jones
> wasn't flushed away.
>
> More details to follow.
Much better now, thanks. Had too much cab sav last night and been shitting green and purple all day.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 15, 2015 01:29PM
Ralph isn't it amazing, what even beverages do to our bowels?
An amazing thing, wine or enough green beer on Saint Patrick's Day can do.
I'm about to crap out something not so pretty, but I'm happy your bowels are operational.
An amazing thing, wine or enough green beer on Saint Patrick's Day can do.
I'm about to crap out something not so pretty, but I'm happy your bowels are operational.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 15, 2015 05:47PM
Does anyone have any Crisco?
This one is gonna hurt.
This one is gonna hurt.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Nutritionist
()
Date: May 15, 2015 07:22PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Does anyone have any Crisco?
>
> This one is gonna hurt.
I wish you the best, but I'm interested in learning about your diet. I want to help.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Does anyone have any Crisco?
>
> This one is gonna hurt.
I wish you the best, but I'm interested in learning about your diet. I want to help.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: May 15, 2015 08:55PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Does anyone have any Crisco?
>
> This one is gonna hurt.
Hold Fast my friend!
Attachments:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Does anyone have any Crisco?
>
> This one is gonna hurt.
Hold Fast my friend!
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
......
()
Date: May 15, 2015 09:28PM
Didnt even eat today...
its bee. 4 days without visiting the gentlemans room...
im scared of rupturing something if too much waste material is in there...
usually i start throwing anything even water up when it gets to the breaking point...
trying to avoid that.
either later tonight or when i smoke that first cig in the morning tom is going to be a scene out of schindlers list.
Im talking war crimes, here.
its bee. 4 days without visiting the gentlemans room...
im scared of rupturing something if too much waste material is in there...
usually i start throwing anything even water up when it gets to the breaking point...
trying to avoid that.
either later tonight or when i smoke that first cig in the morning tom is going to be a scene out of schindlers list.
Im talking war crimes, here.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Die a reeya
()
Date: May 16, 2015 03:28AM
I shat myself on the Metro today. It was only the 2nd stop on the yellow route. I waited until Mt. Vernon and made a run for it. I heard quite a few people laughing. Found a cab home. It was a smelly indian cab so he didn't even notice.
My bowels are unforgiving.
My bowels are unforgiving.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 16, 2015 06:29AM
Slicedo phew I was worried about you and your bowels. Thank you as the midwives, crash team all made a successful but painful delivery possible.
... I hope your bowels do move although it is going to hurt. Think and pray to Saint Bonaventure.
To the metro guy that is a traumatizing stinky brown experience of woe. Here's ten gallons of water, and please let us know how your bowels are later.
... I hope your bowels do move although it is going to hurt. Think and pray to Saint Bonaventure.
To the metro guy that is a traumatizing stinky brown experience of woe. Here's ten gallons of water, and please let us know how your bowels are later.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: May 16, 2015 07:20AM
Thanks BO, My boss sent me on a trip to Radford Va just for two nights and for once my bowels behaved themselves. The motel that I was at had fresh fruit for breakfast and I stuck with turkey on wheat subs from subway for other meals. I think that will be my highway travel diet from now on.
How are you and your bowels BO?
How are you and your bowels BO?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 16, 2015 09:43AM
Sliced,
How does the yeast in the breads affect your bowels? That is a good choice, even though we'd both prefer beef slabs with chocolate cake.
To be honest, sitz water is this days plan.
How does the yeast in the breads affect your bowels? That is a good choice, even though we'd both prefer beef slabs with chocolate cake.
To be honest, sitz water is this days plan.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: May 16, 2015 11:07AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sliced,
>
> How does the yeast in the breads affect your
> bowels? That is a good choice, even though we'd
> both prefer beef slabs with chocolate cake.
>
> To be honest, sitz water is this days plan.
Not sure about yeast BO. I stay away from white bread except when I eat a whopper. Rye or whole wheat seems to be easiest on my system. I have just spent the entire morning taking a dump, had to jump off the throne about an hour ago because the lawn care gentleman that was cutting my grass needed to be paid and he kept ringing the doorbell. That really threw a monkey wrench in the elimination process. Thankfully my payload was dropped successfully at last. Off to hairy teets for some grocery shopping now.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sliced,
>
> How does the yeast in the breads affect your
> bowels? That is a good choice, even though we'd
> both prefer beef slabs with chocolate cake.
>
> To be honest, sitz water is this days plan.
Not sure about yeast BO. I stay away from white bread except when I eat a whopper. Rye or whole wheat seems to be easiest on my system. I have just spent the entire morning taking a dump, had to jump off the throne about an hour ago because the lawn care gentleman that was cutting my grass needed to be paid and he kept ringing the doorbell. That really threw a monkey wrench in the elimination process. Thankfully my payload was dropped successfully at last. Off to hairy teets for some grocery shopping now.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
......
()
Date: May 16, 2015 12:38PM
Extreme pressure.
getting hard to breathe...
leaking gas.
It's Time.....
If you dont hear from me again, i had an aneurysm straining. think of me well.
getting hard to breathe...
leaking gas.
It's Time.....
If you dont hear from me again, i had an aneurysm straining. think of me well.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
......
()
Date: May 16, 2015 12:42PM
Ask for me to-morrow, and you shall find me a grave man.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: May 16, 2015 01:54PM
sliced onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Sliced,
> >
> > How does the yeast in the breads affect your
> > bowels? That is a good choice, even though we'd
> > both prefer beef slabs with chocolate cake.
> >
> > To be honest, sitz water is this days plan.
>
>
> Not sure about yeast BO. I stay away from white
> bread except when I eat a whopper. Rye or whole
> wheat seems to be easiest on my system. I have
> just spent the entire morning taking a dump, had
> to jump off the throne about an hour ago because
> the lawn care gentleman that was cutting my grass
> needed to be paid and he kept ringing the
> doorbell. That really threw a monkey wrench in the
> elimination process. Thankfully my payload was
> dropped successfully at last. Off to hairy teets
> for some grocery shopping now.
User name Sliced Onion,
Whilst I empathize with you, it would be best to avoid white bread. Adding fast foods is not a wise decision.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Sliced,
> >
> > How does the yeast in the breads affect your
> > bowels? That is a good choice, even though we'd
> > both prefer beef slabs with chocolate cake.
> >
> > To be honest, sitz water is this days plan.
>
>
> Not sure about yeast BO. I stay away from white
> bread except when I eat a whopper. Rye or whole
> wheat seems to be easiest on my system. I have
> just spent the entire morning taking a dump, had
> to jump off the throne about an hour ago because
> the lawn care gentleman that was cutting my grass
> needed to be paid and he kept ringing the
> doorbell. That really threw a monkey wrench in the
> elimination process. Thankfully my payload was
> dropped successfully at last. Off to hairy teets
> for some grocery shopping now.
User name Sliced Onion,
Whilst I empathize with you, it would be best to avoid white bread. Adding fast foods is not a wise decision.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 17, 2015 06:20AM
All you empathize with is your slush fund anon dick.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: May 17, 2015 09:04AM
Hey BO, Going to pick up my friend that is a girl (cant call her my girlfriend just yet) we are going to church then over to micro center to look at a chromebook she is interested in buying. My bowels are holding steady right now but I am very nervous and afraid but happy at the same time.
I have my Bonaventure medal around my neck so maybe he will help me. Hope you are doing well this morning.
I have my Bonaventure medal around my neck so maybe he will help me. Hope you are doing well this morning.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 17, 2015 10:08AM
Sliced,
I wish you the best of luck with the kind lady. You should feel encouraged as you've come clean about your bowels, and also are showing her kindness by helping her find a computer.
May your bowels hold up, and where did you get the Saint of the Soiled medal at?
I wish you the best of luck with the kind lady. You should feel encouraged as you've come clean about your bowels, and also are showing her kindness by helping her find a computer.
May your bowels hold up, and where did you get the Saint of the Soiled medal at?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 17, 2015 12:00PM
Western Fairfax, those blood curdling screams, I apologize. Not a crime scene but a brown disaster.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: May 17, 2015 02:27PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sliced,
>
> I wish you the best of luck with the kind lady.
> You should feel encouraged as you've come clean
> about your bowels, and also are showing her
> kindness by helping her find a computer.
>
> May your bowels hold up, and where did you get the
> Saint of the Soiled medal at?
I got my St Bonaventure medal at church but I just looked on Amazon and they have a number of different types of medals in honor of good old St. Bonnie.
I had a great time hanging out with the cute girl we even did a little necking in the Micro center parking lot. We had a quick bite to eat at a Chinese place but I only ordered steamed rice with stir fry veggies and no sauce. I am okay but I feel a little MSG working on my system. I do not want to take immodium a-d unless it is an emergency, seems like it is a short term solution that causes greater problems a few days later.
Hope you are doing well BO, I lit up a candle at church and offered up a short prayer for you and your bowels.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sliced,
>
> I wish you the best of luck with the kind lady.
> You should feel encouraged as you've come clean
> about your bowels, and also are showing her
> kindness by helping her find a computer.
>
> May your bowels hold up, and where did you get the
> Saint of the Soiled medal at?
I got my St Bonaventure medal at church but I just looked on Amazon and they have a number of different types of medals in honor of good old St. Bonnie.
I had a great time hanging out with the cute girl we even did a little necking in the Micro center parking lot. We had a quick bite to eat at a Chinese place but I only ordered steamed rice with stir fry veggies and no sauce. I am okay but I feel a little MSG working on my system. I do not want to take immodium a-d unless it is an emergency, seems like it is a short term solution that causes greater problems a few days later.
Hope you are doing well BO, I lit up a candle at church and offered up a short prayer for you and your bowels.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
......
()
Date: May 17, 2015 11:35PM
Just managed to crawl out of my bathroom to my phone and call for help.
Im finding a new support group. you guys have some elitist-clique diarrhea-thing going and outsiders are obviously not invited.
Im finding a new support group. you guys have some elitist-clique diarrhea-thing going and outsiders are obviously not invited.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
......
()
Date: May 18, 2015 12:02AM
And by the way...
Good St. Jude is the patron saint of lost and hopeless causes...not St. Bonaventure.
Idiots.
Good St. Jude is the patron saint of lost and hopeless causes...not St. Bonaventure.
Idiots.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
......
()
Date: May 18, 2015 12:09AM
Just another example of the southern moneyed Good Ol' Bowel network here in Va.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 18, 2015 09:05AM
...... Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> And by the way...
>
> Good St. Jude is the patron saint of lost and
> hopeless causes...not St. Bonaventure.
>
> Idiots.
Well you are part of the brotherhood of bowel, but remember we support each other, not tear each other apart. It's OK to be frustrated and rip savage anal doctors, or those who mock us.
Yet our bowels have been torn enough. It's not just for those of us dumping basketballs, but Gordo and I believe Miskavich have diarrhea based IBS. There's no divorce, we are united in brown.
Sliced, thank you for the heads up on that, and I'll read more after seeing what's brewing down below.
-------------------------------------------------------
> And by the way...
>
> Good St. Jude is the patron saint of lost and
> hopeless causes...not St. Bonaventure.
>
> Idiots.
Well you are part of the brotherhood of bowel, but remember we support each other, not tear each other apart. It's OK to be frustrated and rip savage anal doctors, or those who mock us.
Yet our bowels have been torn enough. It's not just for those of us dumping basketballs, but Gordo and I believe Miskavich have diarrhea based IBS. There's no divorce, we are united in brown.
Sliced, thank you for the heads up on that, and I'll read more after seeing what's brewing down below.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Ralph Pootawn
()
Date: May 18, 2015 11:08AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Does anyone have any Crisco?
>
> This one is gonna hurt.
Don't push too hard, you could knock loose some plaque in your arteries and have a heart attack. That's how James Gandolfini died.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Does anyone have any Crisco?
>
> This one is gonna hurt.
Don't push too hard, you could knock loose some plaque in your arteries and have a heart attack. That's how James Gandolfini died.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 18, 2015 12:27PM
God bless you Sliced. You are so kind, and I'm thrilled to hear you and this girl are getting hot and steamy. As for the MSG, may it clear your bowels with minimal straining.
Ralph, he pulled an Elvis? Seriously on the groan throne?
Ralph, he pulled an Elvis? Seriously on the groan throne?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: May 18, 2015 02:52PM
Reminds me of an episode of The Sopranos. One of the gang was constipated from leftover Thanksgiving turkey and died while attempting to void a cumbersome stool.
That scene hit home. A chill went down my spine.
It happens. That straining is dangerous, coupled with the accompanying anxiety it can be deadly.
That scene hit home. A chill went down my spine.
It happens. That straining is dangerous, coupled with the accompanying anxiety it can be deadly.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 18, 2015 05:27PM
BEH,
That is a scary coincidence or is it?
Just Ralph's post scares me, as the idea of Mr. Soprano kicking the bucket on the groan throne causes my blood pressure to jump.
This is new territory aside from Elvis. Should we dig deep into our bowels and mortality, or perhaps keep this one as a silent phenomena?
That is a scary coincidence or is it?
Just Ralph's post scares me, as the idea of Mr. Soprano kicking the bucket on the groan throne causes my blood pressure to jump.
This is new territory aside from Elvis. Should we dig deep into our bowels and mortality, or perhaps keep this one as a silent phenomena?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Miscavage
()
Date: May 18, 2015 08:10PM
Was Elvis's colon really 40 pounds or just another urban legend?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 19, 2015 09:31AM
I think Elvis had a large colon Mis. Mine is large, with 33 feet of intestines attached.
Going to drop off at least a 737 in a few, midwives!
Going to drop off at least a 737 in a few, midwives!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Ralph Pootawn
()
Date: May 19, 2015 09:33AM
Miscavage Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Was Elvis's colon really 40 pounds or just another
> urban legend?
It was a suburban rumor.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Was Elvis's colon really 40 pounds or just another
> urban legend?
It was a suburban rumor.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: May 19, 2015 11:56AM
I had to visit a local jail this morning as part of my job. I sure hope I never get locked up. Those guys in there have to take dumps with other guys sitting just a few feet away not to mention the security cameras. On the upside those jail toilet/sink units look indestructable and unclogable.
The point I am trying to make is that yes we have various dgestive disorders but at least we have privacy and freedom. Things could be lots worse.
The point I am trying to make is that yes we have various dgestive disorders but at least we have privacy and freedom. Things could be lots worse.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 19, 2015 03:12PM
Ralph, I feel as if I dropped a Suburban with a roof rack, KC lights. Damn my ass got tore up. A lot of witch hazel for the ol bowels tonight.
Sliced, your job is interesting. How are your bowels, and you are right. Suffer we do, but having to sit on a groan throne in public, with a crash cart and midwives would be awful
Sliced, your job is interesting. How are your bowels, and you are right. Suffer we do, but having to sit on a groan throne in public, with a crash cart and midwives would be awful
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 19, 2015 05:53PM
I'm tired of straining! I'm so sick of the groan throne and all this wasted time!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: May 19, 2015 08:12PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm tired of straining! I'm so sick of the groan
> throne and all this wasted time!
I understand your situation BO. Try and keep up the good fight! With all the farmers markets offering up some good veggies this time of year we can take advantage of some great tasting and good digesting foods!
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm tired of straining! I'm so sick of the groan
> throne and all this wasted time!
I understand your situation BO. Try and keep up the good fight! With all the farmers markets offering up some good veggies this time of year we can take advantage of some great tasting and good digesting foods!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
bloody bunghole
()
Date: May 19, 2015 08:16PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ralph, I feel as if I dropped a Suburban with a
> roof rack, KC lights. Damn my ass got tore up. A
> lot of witch hazel for the ol bowels tonight.
>
> Sliced, your job is interesting. How are your
> bowels, and you are right. Suffer we do, but
> having to sit on a groan throne in public, with a
> crash cart and midwives would be awful
At least your suburban didn't have a 12' lift and was pulling a mobile home and a boat behind it. It took 3 hours and 3 toilet flushes to get that load thru the tunnel. I'm afraid to eat again.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ralph, I feel as if I dropped a Suburban with a
> roof rack, KC lights. Damn my ass got tore up. A
> lot of witch hazel for the ol bowels tonight.
>
> Sliced, your job is interesting. How are your
> bowels, and you are right. Suffer we do, but
> having to sit on a groan throne in public, with a
> crash cart and midwives would be awful
At least your suburban didn't have a 12' lift and was pulling a mobile home and a boat behind it. It took 3 hours and 3 toilet flushes to get that load thru the tunnel. I'm afraid to eat again.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 20, 2015 07:15AM
Sliced, thank you for your unwavering brown support, and sorry I got frustrated. That sounds like a good idea, although just hoping Saint Bonaventure will give my starfish a rest.
How are your bowels this morning?
Bloody that sounds very painful. If you need sutures or witch hazel, you found the right spot.
How are your bowels this morning?
Bloody that sounds very painful. If you need sutures or witch hazel, you found the right spot.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: May 20, 2015 08:17AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sliced, thank you for your unwavering brown
> support, and sorry I got frustrated. That sounds
> like a good idea, although just hoping Saint
> Bonaventure will give my starfish a rest.
>
> How are your bowels this morning?
>
> Bloody that sounds very painful. If you need
> sutures or witch hazel, you found the right spot.
Just got to work BO. I dropped a oversize payload this morning. Had to use the plunger but nothing got clogged up like last week. This is a code green day for my bowels. If only every day could be like this.
The cute girl is texting me often and maybe we can take things to the next level, we will see. My bowels have destroyed my previous relationships.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sliced, thank you for your unwavering brown
> support, and sorry I got frustrated. That sounds
> like a good idea, although just hoping Saint
> Bonaventure will give my starfish a rest.
>
> How are your bowels this morning?
>
> Bloody that sounds very painful. If you need
> sutures or witch hazel, you found the right spot.
Just got to work BO. I dropped a oversize payload this morning. Had to use the plunger but nothing got clogged up like last week. This is a code green day for my bowels. If only every day could be like this.
The cute girl is texting me often and maybe we can take things to the next level, we will see. My bowels have destroyed my previous relationships.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 20, 2015 10:24AM
Sliced,
Your bowels improving make mine feel better. And here's to you and this girl having years of happiness. Does she have any experience as a midwife?
Later on today, I hope to detail how a anal doctor treats us, brothers in bowel. It would be great to have a flushing recliner.
Your bowels improving make mine feel better. And here's to you and this girl having years of happiness. Does she have any experience as a midwife?
Later on today, I hope to detail how a anal doctor treats us, brothers in bowel. It would be great to have a flushing recliner.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 20, 2015 06:33PM
I promised to help those who don't understand what IBS sufferers go through. Hold my shit stained hand, as I explain the "office manager" at the rectum doctors place.
She is bulldog like, sometimes wears a clothes pin on her nose, and harasses nurses, the wetback janitor, and patients alike. Basically her customer service skills are what you'll find at a DMV, with an extra pinch of mean in her. After she takes your copay she uses sanitizer or washes her hands, and yells "Next!"
She is horrible, an atrocious brute that increases anxiety prior to getting sodomized on that metal table. Expect to get nasty looks from her, or if extra exams/test are called for, an evil smile that's beyond sadistic.
She abuses the schedule making employees, stands up to look down at patients in the waiting room, and will yell your name out loud requesting a stool sample. This is just the beginning of an office visit, and later we will examine schedule makers, lab techs, nurses, that illegal Jose floor cleaner, and the biggest asshole of all. The doctor.
She is bulldog like, sometimes wears a clothes pin on her nose, and harasses nurses, the wetback janitor, and patients alike. Basically her customer service skills are what you'll find at a DMV, with an extra pinch of mean in her. After she takes your copay she uses sanitizer or washes her hands, and yells "Next!"
She is horrible, an atrocious brute that increases anxiety prior to getting sodomized on that metal table. Expect to get nasty looks from her, or if extra exams/test are called for, an evil smile that's beyond sadistic.
She abuses the schedule making employees, stands up to look down at patients in the waiting room, and will yell your name out loud requesting a stool sample. This is just the beginning of an office visit, and later we will examine schedule makers, lab techs, nurses, that illegal Jose floor cleaner, and the biggest asshole of all. The doctor.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: May 20, 2015 07:46PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I promised to help those who don't understand what
> IBS sufferers go through. Hold my shit stained
> hand, as I explain the "office manager" at the
> rectum doctors place.
>
> She is bulldog like, sometimes wears a clothes pin
> on her nose, and harasses nurses, the wetback
> janitor, and patients alike. Basically her
> customer service skills are what you'll find at a
> DMV, with an extra pinch of mean in her. After she
> takes your copay she uses sanitizer or washes her
> hands, and yells "Next!"
>
> She is horrible, an atrocious brute that increases
> anxiety prior to getting sodomized on that metal
> table. Expect to get nasty looks from her, or if
> extra exams/test are called for, an evil smile
> that's beyond sadistic.
>
> She abuses the schedule making employees, stands
> up to look down at patients in the waiting room,
> and will yell your name out loud requesting a
> stool sample. This is just the beginning of an
> office visit, and later we will examine schedule
> makers, lab techs, nurses, that illegal Jose floor
> cleaner, and the biggest asshole of all. The
> doctor.
The nurses I encountered were like this.
Attachments:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I promised to help those who don't understand what
> IBS sufferers go through. Hold my shit stained
> hand, as I explain the "office manager" at the
> rectum doctors place.
>
> She is bulldog like, sometimes wears a clothes pin
> on her nose, and harasses nurses, the wetback
> janitor, and patients alike. Basically her
> customer service skills are what you'll find at a
> DMV, with an extra pinch of mean in her. After she
> takes your copay she uses sanitizer or washes her
> hands, and yells "Next!"
>
> She is horrible, an atrocious brute that increases
> anxiety prior to getting sodomized on that metal
> table. Expect to get nasty looks from her, or if
> extra exams/test are called for, an evil smile
> that's beyond sadistic.
>
> She abuses the schedule making employees, stands
> up to look down at patients in the waiting room,
> and will yell your name out loud requesting a
> stool sample. This is just the beginning of an
> office visit, and later we will examine schedule
> makers, lab techs, nurses, that illegal Jose floor
> cleaner, and the biggest asshole of all. The
> doctor.
The nurses I encountered were like this.
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
trtyy
()
Date: May 21, 2015 06:13AM
tips in the bathroom
If need to take deuce without people knowing just force it out fast and while real fast if you can be out within 20-25 seconds no one will suspect a thing
If you need to beat your meat and can't hold it in then go to the bathroom and jerk it and take your time. Peeps will think youjust had to drop a log. Don't forget to throw tp in the toilot the last person might notice the tp is exactly the same as he saw it last and this may arouse questions. Happy beating
If need to take deuce without people knowing just force it out fast and while real fast if you can be out within 20-25 seconds no one will suspect a thing
If you need to beat your meat and can't hold it in then go to the bathroom and jerk it and take your time. Peeps will think youjust had to drop a log. Don't forget to throw tp in the toilot the last person might notice the tp is exactly the same as he saw it last and this may arouse questions. Happy beating
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
wearedoomed
()
Date: May 21, 2015 07:42AM
oes anyone know where i can get one of those german toilets with the inspection shelf ?
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 21, 2015 11:37AM
Houston we have a problem. Major O ring failure.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
vccce
()
Date: May 22, 2015 08:48AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Houston we have a problem. Major O ring failure.
happens after anal fisting
-------------------------------------------------------
> Houston we have a problem. Major O ring failure.
happens after anal fisting
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 22, 2015 03:04PM
vccce Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Houston we have a problem. Major O ring
> failure.
>
>
> happens after anal fisting
What is wrong with you and the others in the fisting crowd? Did mommy and daddy not give you enough hugs?
Back from the hospital after yet another obstructed bowel. Now to spend the weekend recovering for the sodomizing at the doctor on Tuesday.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Houston we have a problem. Major O ring
> failure.
>
>
> happens after anal fisting
What is wrong with you and the others in the fisting crowd? Did mommy and daddy not give you enough hugs?
Back from the hospital after yet another obstructed bowel. Now to spend the weekend recovering for the sodomizing at the doctor on Tuesday.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: May 22, 2015 03:15PM
Imagine, while we treat our Anuses gingerly, others use theirs for a playground.
Fists and other objects invade the sensitve area with vigor and glee.
Severe chronic constipation has given me years of agony thus I treat my Schphinkter with tender concern.
The lucky ones who pass stool easily, treat their rectums harshly and without regard.
Fists and other objects invade the sensitve area with vigor and glee.
Severe chronic constipation has given me years of agony thus I treat my Schphinkter with tender concern.
The lucky ones who pass stool easily, treat their rectums harshly and without regard.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 22, 2015 05:23PM
I concur with BEH who's bowel basics are beyond reproach.
It was frustrating having a large stool twist my intestines. The abdominal pains, the indifference of hospital staff, I'm convinced the CT scan folks mocked my large intestine especially.
My bowels hurt, and while I did pass the Sequoyah sized tree, only the midwives were attentive. The scans have caused my bowels to glow in the dark, much like in the movie Skin Deep, and let me know if you need a reading light.
Tomorrow will be rest, but I hope to next detail what either the janitor or nurse is like at my rectum doctors office. It's time for people to hear what goes on behind those closed doors.
It was frustrating having a large stool twist my intestines. The abdominal pains, the indifference of hospital staff, I'm convinced the CT scan folks mocked my large intestine especially.
My bowels hurt, and while I did pass the Sequoyah sized tree, only the midwives were attentive. The scans have caused my bowels to glow in the dark, much like in the movie Skin Deep, and let me know if you need a reading light.
Tomorrow will be rest, but I hope to next detail what either the janitor or nurse is like at my rectum doctors office. It's time for people to hear what goes on behind those closed doors.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: May 22, 2015 07:48PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I concur with BEH who's bowel basics are beyond
> reproach.
>
> It was frustrating having a large stool twist my
> intestines. The abdominal pains, the indifference
> of hospital staff, I'm convinced the CT scan folks
> mocked my large intestine especially.
>
> My bowels hurt, and while I did pass the Sequoyah
> sized tree, only the midwives were attentive. The
> scans have caused my bowels to glow in the dark,
> much like in the movie Skin Deep, and let me know
> if you need a reading light.
>
> Tomorrow will be rest, but I hope to next detail
> what either the janitor or nurse is like at my
> rectum doctors office. It's time for people to
> hear what goes on behind those closed doors.
User Name Brown Onion,
You contribute nothing of value and dissuade patients from making wise health decisions.
These write ups are disgusting. Web MD and other forums offer better advice than these animals.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I concur with BEH who's bowel basics are beyond
> reproach.
>
> It was frustrating having a large stool twist my
> intestines. The abdominal pains, the indifference
> of hospital staff, I'm convinced the CT scan folks
> mocked my large intestine especially.
>
> My bowels hurt, and while I did pass the Sequoyah
> sized tree, only the midwives were attentive. The
> scans have caused my bowels to glow in the dark,
> much like in the movie Skin Deep, and let me know
> if you need a reading light.
>
> Tomorrow will be rest, but I hope to next detail
> what either the janitor or nurse is like at my
> rectum doctors office. It's time for people to
> hear what goes on behind those closed doors.
User Name Brown Onion,
You contribute nothing of value and dissuade patients from making wise health decisions.
These write ups are disgusting. Web MD and other forums offer better advice than these animals.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: May 22, 2015 09:17PM
Anon Doc. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I concur with BEH who's bowel basics are beyond
> > reproach.
> >
> > It was frustrating having a large stool twist
> my
> > intestines. The abdominal pains, the
> indifference
> > of hospital staff, I'm convinced the CT scan
> folks
> > mocked my large intestine especially.
> >
> > My bowels hurt, and while I did pass the
> Sequoyah
> > sized tree, only the midwives were attentive.
> The
> > scans have caused my bowels to glow in the
> dark,
> > much like in the movie Skin Deep, and let me
> know
> > if you need a reading light.
> >
> > Tomorrow will be rest, but I hope to next
> detail
> > what either the janitor or nurse is like at my
> > rectum doctors office. It's time for people to
> > hear what goes on behind those closed doors.
>
> User Name Brown Onion,
>
> You contribute nothing of value and dissuade
> patients from making wise health decisions.
>
> These write ups are disgusting. Web MD and other
> forums offer better advice than these animals.
user name Anon Doc,
I am a man in my mid-late 40s who has suffered from digestive problems for 25 to 30 years. The medical community failed me twice. This thread has helped me quite a bit. The therapeutic interaction with individuals who have walked a mile in my shoes has been helpful beyond belief.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I concur with BEH who's bowel basics are beyond
> > reproach.
> >
> > It was frustrating having a large stool twist
> my
> > intestines. The abdominal pains, the
> indifference
> > of hospital staff, I'm convinced the CT scan
> folks
> > mocked my large intestine especially.
> >
> > My bowels hurt, and while I did pass the
> Sequoyah
> > sized tree, only the midwives were attentive.
> The
> > scans have caused my bowels to glow in the
> dark,
> > much like in the movie Skin Deep, and let me
> know
> > if you need a reading light.
> >
> > Tomorrow will be rest, but I hope to next
> detail
> > what either the janitor or nurse is like at my
> > rectum doctors office. It's time for people to
> > hear what goes on behind those closed doors.
>
> User Name Brown Onion,
>
> You contribute nothing of value and dissuade
> patients from making wise health decisions.
>
> These write ups are disgusting. Web MD and other
> forums offer better advice than these animals.
user name Anon Doc,
I am a man in my mid-late 40s who has suffered from digestive problems for 25 to 30 years. The medical community failed me twice. This thread has helped me quite a bit. The therapeutic interaction with individuals who have walked a mile in my shoes has been helpful beyond belief.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: May 22, 2015 09:33PM
User name Sliced Onion,
I am sorry these medical staffs did not provide relief, but that is only two. If you go to a board certified GI and perhaps seek psychiatric treatment for anxiety, I believe you will see improvements. The University of Iowa and others such as NIH, are making a lot of progress, along with the pharmaceutical companies.
These people are leading you astray, and it would behoove you to seek the assistant of a medical doctor.
I am sorry these medical staffs did not provide relief, but that is only two. If you go to a board certified GI and perhaps seek psychiatric treatment for anxiety, I believe you will see improvements. The University of Iowa and others such as NIH, are making a lot of progress, along with the pharmaceutical companies.
These people are leading you astray, and it would behoove you to seek the assistant of a medical doctor.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: May 23, 2015 12:56PM
Don't listen to that sodimizer.
More later. A brown weekend.
More later. A brown weekend.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc.
()
Date: May 23, 2015 03:38PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Don't listen to that sodimizer.
>
> More later. A brown weekend.
User Name Brown Onion,
Instead of interfering with user name Sliced Onions medical care, I'd recommend washing your mouth full of soap. Your write ups, diatribes, and overall immaturity have hurt those rather than helped patients with IBS.
My guess is you do not have any Ivy League degree, nor the intelligence to complete vocational school.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Don't listen to that sodimizer.
>
> More later. A brown weekend.
User Name Brown Onion,
Instead of interfering with user name Sliced Onions medical care, I'd recommend washing your mouth full of soap. Your write ups, diatribes, and overall immaturity have hurt those rather than helped patients with IBS.
My guess is you do not have any Ivy League degree, nor the intelligence to complete vocational school.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Niptoolazy
()
Date: May 23, 2015 05:11PM
This ass/shit thread continuing on makes not much sense. I would have thought ex girlfriend pics would remain more popular.
Nip
Nip
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: May 23, 2015 05:49PM
The Slovak festival will be at St. michaels Orthodox Church next weekend. Get some foods good for you.