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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 23, 2015 09:21PM
Sliced,
Way to go for both of your cavities!
I'm thrilled that you are alright, and it's good to hear you received excellent care at that hospital. My guess is no anal rectal type of doctors were involved, but internal medicine instead. It's good to have you back, and your coworkers are bowel buddies for sure.
Rest up, take care of your bowels, and welcome back!
Way to go for both of your cavities!
I'm thrilled that you are alright, and it's good to hear you received excellent care at that hospital. My guess is no anal rectal type of doctors were involved, but internal medicine instead. It's good to have you back, and your coworkers are bowel buddies for sure.
Rest up, take care of your bowels, and welcome back!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 24, 2015 08:06AM
I think an aircraft carrier went through my intestines.
More later.
More later.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 24, 2015 08:47AM
It said German Wings on it.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: March 24, 2015 11:20AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It said German Wings on it.
To those who take the advice of these animals, here's your proof to disregard all of it.
-------------------------------------------------------
> It said German Wings on it.
To those who take the advice of these animals, here's your proof to disregard all of it.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: March 24, 2015 11:28AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sliced,
>
> Way to go for both of your cavities!
>
> I'm thrilled that you are alright, and it's good
> to hear you received excellent care at that
> hospital. My guess is no anal rectal type of
> doctors were involved, but internal medicine
> instead. It's good to have you back, and your
> coworkers are bowel buddies for sure.
>
> Rest up, take care of your bowels, and welcome
> back!
Thanks man. I made sure not to mention anything about my bowel issues or the depresion that comes from it. I felt as though the doctor was looking me over to harvest cash from my health insurance plan. He probably has a huge boat payment.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sliced,
>
> Way to go for both of your cavities!
>
> I'm thrilled that you are alright, and it's good
> to hear you received excellent care at that
> hospital. My guess is no anal rectal type of
> doctors were involved, but internal medicine
> instead. It's good to have you back, and your
> coworkers are bowel buddies for sure.
>
> Rest up, take care of your bowels, and welcome
> back!
Thanks man. I made sure not to mention anything about my bowel issues or the depresion that comes from it. I felt as though the doctor was looking me over to harvest cash from my health insurance plan. He probably has a huge boat payment.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 25, 2015 11:40AM
My entire ass hurts.
Film at 11.
Film at 11.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Supporter
()
Date: March 26, 2015 06:42AM
Anon Doc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Instead of continuing to submit immature write
> ups, I cannot stress the importance of seeing a HI
> for prescriptions such as Amitiza or Linzess.
>
> These are just a few. Why follow a few fools, when
> you can get actual relief?
"Why follow a few fools, when you can get actual relief?"
Wasn't that Obama's campaign slogan?? So, tell me how ObamaCare is helping us in VA, A.D.! Another one talking out of his ass ... wait. Obama: Is that YOU?
-------------------------------------------------------
> Instead of continuing to submit immature write
> ups, I cannot stress the importance of seeing a HI
> for prescriptions such as Amitiza or Linzess.
>
> These are just a few. Why follow a few fools, when
> you can get actual relief?
"Why follow a few fools, when you can get actual relief?"
Wasn't that Obama's campaign slogan?? So, tell me how ObamaCare is helping us in VA, A.D.! Another one talking out of his ass ... wait. Obama: Is that YOU?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 26, 2015 06:43AM
I am grateful to be alive this morning, but I feel like that dog dragging his ass, on the Stanley Steemer commercial.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: March 26, 2015 07:32AM
Supporter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anon Doc Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Instead of continuing to submit immature write
> > ups, I cannot stress the importance of seeing a
> HI
> > for prescriptions such as Amitiza or Linzess.
> >
> > These are just a few. Why follow a few fools,
> when
> > you can get actual relief?
>
>
> "Why follow a few fools, when you can get actual
> relief?"
>
> Wasn't that Obama's campaign slogan?? So, tell me
> how ObamaCare is helping us in VA, A.D.! Another
> one talking out of his ass ... wait. Obama: Is
> that YOU?
Right on Supporter!
Thank God for you. You understand, you get it.
Brownie, Sliceroo and myself cherish you.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anon Doc Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Instead of continuing to submit immature write
> > ups, I cannot stress the importance of seeing a
> HI
> > for prescriptions such as Amitiza or Linzess.
> >
> > These are just a few. Why follow a few fools,
> when
> > you can get actual relief?
>
>
> "Why follow a few fools, when you can get actual
> relief?"
>
> Wasn't that Obama's campaign slogan?? So, tell me
> how ObamaCare is helping us in VA, A.D.! Another
> one talking out of his ass ... wait. Obama: Is
> that YOU?
Right on Supporter!
Thank God for you. You understand, you get it.
Brownie, Sliceroo and myself cherish you.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 26, 2015 09:23AM
Glad to have supporter back, if I remember correctly you've always been a bowel buddy.
Though we deal with mideval sadistic doctors with sodomy fetishes, office clerks that treat us worse than sex offenders, and medical janitors who eye us with suspicion and scorn.
Welcome back, and if you feel like it, let us know how your bowels are.
Though we deal with mideval sadistic doctors with sodomy fetishes, office clerks that treat us worse than sex offenders, and medical janitors who eye us with suspicion and scorn.
Welcome back, and if you feel like it, let us know how your bowels are.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Mr Brown Underwear
()
Date: March 26, 2015 10:53AM
Still? And yet no talk of incontinence, how about a cure for that first assholes? I'd like to have your problems. That's nothing. Want to trade?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 26, 2015 11:50AM
Underwear, please relax and take a #2, sit in poo.
Your grumpy attitude, while understandable, is quite shitty.
Let's face it, we got brown shafted. I wouldn't wish brown depends about to burst, or the refrigerator I'm about to drop on anyone.
Your grumpy attitude, while understandable, is quite shitty.
Let's face it, we got brown shafted. I wouldn't wish brown depends about to burst, or the refrigerator I'm about to drop on anyone.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Wally Joyner
()
Date: March 26, 2015 01:44PM
Made up condition. Like fibomyalgia.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 26, 2015 02:40PM
You walk into an Asian restaurant. The little Buddha statues are everywhere, mirrors along the wall, water fountains and ponds with koi swimming along. Music from the orient plays, and a well dressed man like Mr. Miyagi takes you to a padded table.
The thoughts of when you were in a Bangkok brothel, go through your head, and the numbers on the menus remind you how you'd purchase a hooker in Saigon.
A pretty Asian lady with clipped English comes to your table. The aromas from the kitchen are irresistible. Before you even caught it, you've just had a huge meal.
Nothing in your fortune cookie can help your bowels.
The thoughts of when you were in a Bangkok brothel, go through your head, and the numbers on the menus remind you how you'd purchase a hooker in Saigon.
A pretty Asian lady with clipped English comes to your table. The aromas from the kitchen are irresistible. Before you even caught it, you've just had a huge meal.
Nothing in your fortune cookie can help your bowels.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
St. Bonaventure
()
Date: March 26, 2015 07:15PM
God bless you all.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: March 26, 2015 08:52PM
Wally Joyner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Made up condition. Like fibomyalgia.
It's as real as any other medical diagnosis, and it would behoove you to get properly educated, before making wild assertions.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Made up condition. Like fibomyalgia.
It's as real as any other medical diagnosis, and it would behoove you to get properly educated, before making wild assertions.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 27, 2015 06:38AM
Wow, thanks anon dick. And Saint Bonaventure, the blesser of bowels likewise. There is a lot of talk about porcelain God's, but the groan throne isn't one.
Instead it's a clear reminder of our bowels. If you've had nightmares, woken up in a pool of sweat because of toilets, you are not alone. Your brothers in bowels have your back. We are hoisting and screaming with you.
Instead it's a clear reminder of our bowels. If you've had nightmares, woken up in a pool of sweat because of toilets, you are not alone. Your brothers in bowels have your back. We are hoisting and screaming with you.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
WTF6757
()
Date: March 27, 2015 06:52AM
Try this.
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
ßliced onion
()
Date: March 27, 2015 08:07AM
Mr Brown Underwear Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Still? And yet no talk of incontinence, how about
> a cure for that first assholes? I'd like to have
> your problems. That's nothing. Want to trade?
I feel yer pain Mr. Underwear. I experience both ends of the spectrum. My bowels are on a roller coaster at all times. I am either groaning on the throne all backed up or running through the parking lot trying to make it to the makeshift shithouse in the back of my van for a liquid explosion. I get maybe 80 or 90 days a year when my bowles are normal. My fear of using public restrooms for #2 really makes things very difficult.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Still? And yet no talk of incontinence, how about
> a cure for that first assholes? I'd like to have
> your problems. That's nothing. Want to trade?
I feel yer pain Mr. Underwear. I experience both ends of the spectrum. My bowels are on a roller coaster at all times. I am either groaning on the throne all backed up or running through the parking lot trying to make it to the makeshift shithouse in the back of my van for a liquid explosion. I get maybe 80 or 90 days a year when my bowles are normal. My fear of using public restrooms for #2 really makes things very difficult.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 27, 2015 08:39AM
How are your bowels now Sliced?
I hope your day goes well. Something is rumbling down below, and it might just be a VHS tape of Harry Reid's resignation in 2016 from the senate. This is not a good way to start the day.
I hope your day goes well. Something is rumbling down below, and it might just be a VHS tape of Harry Reid's resignation in 2016 from the senate. This is not a good way to start the day.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 27, 2015 10:50AM
Does anyone have a vat of castor oil?
I can't pass this one.
I can't pass this one.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: March 27, 2015 02:15PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> How are your bowels now Sliced?
>
> I hope your day goes well. Something is rumbling
> down below, and it might just be a VHS tape of
> Harry Reid's resignation in 2016 from the senate.
> This is not a good way to start the day.
Thanks for your concern BO. I am hit or miss in the bowel department. I worked from home today and plan to be back in the office Monday. This morning I had hopes of sinking the titanic but it was more like all of her lifeboats. I am going to drink a six pack of rolling rocks tonite and the first one will be in honor of you.
-------------------------------------------------------
> How are your bowels now Sliced?
>
> I hope your day goes well. Something is rumbling
> down below, and it might just be a VHS tape of
> Harry Reid's resignation in 2016 from the senate.
> This is not a good way to start the day.
Thanks for your concern BO. I am hit or miss in the bowel department. I worked from home today and plan to be back in the office Monday. This morning I had hopes of sinking the titanic but it was more like all of her lifeboats. I am going to drink a six pack of rolling rocks tonite and the first one will be in honor of you.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 27, 2015 05:07PM
Oh Rolling Rocks Sliced. Be careful of the beer shits, they can be dreadful.
In a holding pattern, with a 50 pound cement bag in my colon.
In a holding pattern, with a 50 pound cement bag in my colon.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
St. Bonaventure
()
Date: March 28, 2015 05:19AM
The five most constipated people in the Bible: 1. Cain-who wasn't able. 2. King Solomon-who sat on the throne for forty years. 3. King David-who neither Heaven nor Earth could move. 4. Moses-who took two tablets and went up into the mountains. 5. Noah-who spent 40 days and 40 nights on the ark and passed nothing but water.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
St. Goober
()
Date: March 28, 2015 09:03AM
In DULCOLAXIUS 20:12, we read:
Father soften thine stool soeth it mayeth flow with ease upon this earth.
Amen.
Father soften thine stool soeth it mayeth flow with ease upon this earth.
Amen.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 28, 2015 10:02AM
Great info St. Bonaventure,
Thank you for that as I'm still waiting to give birth. Might need a Caesarian
Thank you for that as I'm still waiting to give birth. Might need a Caesarian
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: March 28, 2015 10:37AM
I'm praying that this major construction going on in my colon doesn't create a parting of the Red Sea right down the middle of my Schphinkter.
Funny, I'm not religious, but I found myself muttering "my God" the last time a stool the size and weight of The Walls of Jerico came a tumblin out of that tiny exit at the end of my Ano-Recto superhighway.
Test results are in, hopefully I'll be given a prescription for the new anti constipation drug, Lizness, and this madness will be ended.
I fully expect a rectal Revelations occuring, the final bowel battle between good and evil, being fought deep inside my beleaguered Anus.
Funny, I'm not religious, but I found myself muttering "my God" the last time a stool the size and weight of The Walls of Jerico came a tumblin out of that tiny exit at the end of my Ano-Recto superhighway.
Test results are in, hopefully I'll be given a prescription for the new anti constipation drug, Lizness, and this madness will be ended.
I fully expect a rectal Revelations occuring, the final bowel battle between good and evil, being fought deep inside my beleaguered Anus.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: March 28, 2015 11:30AM
I just got done stocking the lake with brown minnows. Not perfect but passable. At least I can go grocery shopping and go to jiffy lube in comfort today.
Best wishes to all my friends hiking the long brown path today.
Best wishes to all my friends hiking the long brown path today.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Joan
()
Date: March 28, 2015 02:37PM
When eternity is my focus, I find that the painful things I must endure (sometimes on a daily basis) seem much smaller than they did before. This is when I am able to feel grateful for the things God has actually done in my life instead of focusing on how sick I feel.
Receiving the diagnosis of Crohn’s disease almost 7 years ago changed my life, and not for the better; however, it has made me realize that I need to depend on God rather than things that I can do to fix my health. How do I know this and trust God with my health? Because I’ve tried it my way and I’ve depended completely on my doctors and medication and it didn’t work, things actually got worse. This is how I’ve been able to decide that God is the only one who is able to heal me, whether it’s long-term healing completely from Crohn’s disease or acute healing of my anxiety or joint pain or stomach cramps. Try some faith, it works!
Receiving the diagnosis of Crohn’s disease almost 7 years ago changed my life, and not for the better; however, it has made me realize that I need to depend on God rather than things that I can do to fix my health. How do I know this and trust God with my health? Because I’ve tried it my way and I’ve depended completely on my doctors and medication and it didn’t work, things actually got worse. This is how I’ve been able to decide that God is the only one who is able to heal me, whether it’s long-term healing completely from Crohn’s disease or acute healing of my anxiety or joint pain or stomach cramps. Try some faith, it works!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 28, 2015 05:08PM
Still in a holding pattern, not like that German plane, but a bit like a regular Lufthansa over Munich.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: March 29, 2015 09:20AM
Joan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When eternity is my focus, I find that the painful
> things I must endure (sometimes on a daily basis)
> seem much smaller than they did before. This is
> when I am able to feel grateful for the things God
> has actually done in my life instead of focusing
> on how sick I feel.
>
> Receiving the diagnosis of Crohn’s disease
> almost 7 years ago changed my life, and not for
> the better; however, it has made me realize that I
> need to depend on God rather than things that I
> can do to fix my health. How do I know this and
> trust God with my health? Because I’ve tried it
> my way and I’ve depended completely on my
> doctors and medication and it didn’t work,
> things actually got worse. This is how I’ve been
> able to decide that God is the only one who is
> able to heal me, whether it’s long-term healing
> completely from Crohn’s disease or acute healing
> of my anxiety or joint pain or stomach cramps. Try
> some faith, it works!
Nice write up, but without God there would be no doctors, medicines, and research. It is nice to see someone mature here.
-------------------------------------------------------
> When eternity is my focus, I find that the painful
> things I must endure (sometimes on a daily basis)
> seem much smaller than they did before. This is
> when I am able to feel grateful for the things God
> has actually done in my life instead of focusing
> on how sick I feel.
>
> Receiving the diagnosis of Crohn’s disease
> almost 7 years ago changed my life, and not for
> the better; however, it has made me realize that I
> need to depend on God rather than things that I
> can do to fix my health. How do I know this and
> trust God with my health? Because I’ve tried it
> my way and I’ve depended completely on my
> doctors and medication and it didn’t work,
> things actually got worse. This is how I’ve been
> able to decide that God is the only one who is
> able to heal me, whether it’s long-term healing
> completely from Crohn’s disease or acute healing
> of my anxiety or joint pain or stomach cramps. Try
> some faith, it works!
Nice write up, but without God there would be no doctors, medicines, and research. It is nice to see someone mature here.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: March 29, 2015 09:40AM
BO, BEH how you guys doin today?
Im about to leave for church. I am pretty sure I will be okay but I have 6 layers of bounty paper towels in my fruit of the looms to be on the safe side. If that cute girl talks to me again I might shit myself. She probably thinks I am gay by now. I wish I could tell her that my ass pretty much runs my life and I find her extremely attractive. No way I can tell her the truth, just too embarrassing.
Im about to leave for church. I am pretty sure I will be okay but I have 6 layers of bounty paper towels in my fruit of the looms to be on the safe side. If that cute girl talks to me again I might shit myself. She probably thinks I am gay by now. I wish I could tell her that my ass pretty much runs my life and I find her extremely attractive. No way I can tell her the truth, just too embarrassing.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 29, 2015 04:44PM
Sliced,
I hope you aren't despondent, perhaps her bowels aren't great, and she will understand. Or at the least she might be sympathetic. A lot of people have bowel issues, and my sister Matilda and I talk about our woes openly.
Still in a holding pattern. I feel like Giles Corey in the Crucible, more weight. The cement bags are adding up.
I hope you aren't despondent, perhaps her bowels aren't great, and she will understand. Or at the least she might be sympathetic. A lot of people have bowel issues, and my sister Matilda and I talk about our woes openly.
Still in a holding pattern. I feel like Giles Corey in the Crucible, more weight. The cement bags are adding up.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Nutritionist
()
Date: March 30, 2015 11:48AM
I know it's a sensitive topic, but I would be interested in, both your exercise routines and BMI scores.
Exercise and a healthy diet, can minimize IBS. Stress/Anxiety is a key component.
Exercise and a healthy diet, can minimize IBS. Stress/Anxiety is a key component.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 30, 2015 02:55PM
Yada, yada, yada. Eat right lose weight.
I'm currently still carrying a lot of weight in brown. While technically being sodomized, a doctors visit might be needed.
I'm currently still carrying a lot of weight in brown. While technically being sodomized, a doctors visit might be needed.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 30, 2015 02:55PM
Yada, yada, yada. Eat right lose weight.
I'm currently still carrying a lot of weight in brown. While technically being sodomized, a doctors visit might be needed.
I'm currently still carrying a lot of weight in brown. While technically being sodomized, a doctors visit might be needed.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Deadly combo
()
Date: March 30, 2015 03:26PM
Damn BO, you still haven't backed one out yet? It's been what, 3 days?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 30, 2015 03:47PM
Deadly combo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Damn BO, you still haven't backed one out yet?
> It's been what, 3 days?
Yes unfortunately, it seems my intestines need some prodding.
Please pray to Saint Bonaventure, the one for bowels, as this one needs to clear. It's uncomfortable.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Damn BO, you still haven't backed one out yet?
> It's been what, 3 days?
Yes unfortunately, it seems my intestines need some prodding.
Please pray to Saint Bonaventure, the one for bowels, as this one needs to clear. It's uncomfortable.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 30, 2015 06:31PM
I think it's coming down the Hershey Hallway, the Yuletide log rolling out not in Christmas season, but this is going to be a big one.
I've spent a large amount of time on the groan throne. Starting to feel like Danny Glover.
I've spent a large amount of time on the groan throne. Starting to feel like Danny Glover.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: March 30, 2015 07:30PM
Brownie, I know that feeling of dread, the anticipation of the agonozing extrusion of a humongous stool, dry as The Sahara, wreaking pure havoc on my
beleagued Schphinkter.
Afterwards, lots of hot water, epsom salts, witch hazel and shark liver oil suppositories.
beleagued Schphinkter.
Afterwards, lots of hot water, epsom salts, witch hazel and shark liver oil suppositories.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: March 30, 2015 08:10PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think it's coming down the Hershey Hallway, the
> Yuletide log rolling out not in Christmas season,
> but this is going to be a big one.
>
> I've spent a large amount of time on the groan
> throne. Starting to feel like Danny Glover.
Hang in there BO! Have you tried the towel over your head trick?
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think it's coming down the Hershey Hallway, the
> Yuletide log rolling out not in Christmas season,
> but this is going to be a big one.
>
> I've spent a large amount of time on the groan
> throne. Starting to feel like Danny Glover.
Hang in there BO! Have you tried the towel over your head trick?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 31, 2015 06:39AM
Thank you BEH, as this brown voyage is still ongoing. I'm chugging a lot of water, and moving around like a very pregnant woman to expedite some movement.
Sliced, what's the towel trick? At this point I'm ready to bring in a Haitian witch doctor.
Sliced, what's the towel trick? At this point I'm ready to bring in a Haitian witch doctor.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 31, 2015 08:19AM
I am finally clear. Thank you to the crash cart team, the IV staff, the midwives.
Simply put without their encouragement and professionalism, and opiate based pain killers, I wouldn't have made it.
More later.
Simply put without their encouragement and professionalism, and opiate based pain killers, I wouldn't have made it.
More later.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: March 31, 2015 11:07AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am finally clear. Thank you to the crash cart
> team, the IV staff, the midwives.
>
> Simply put without their encouragement and
> professionalism, and opiate based pain killers,
> I wouldn't have made it.
>
> More later.
Absolutely stupid, an an insult to those seeking preventative care.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am finally clear. Thank you to the crash cart
> team, the IV staff, the midwives.
>
> Simply put without their encouragement and
> professionalism, and opiate based pain killers,
> I wouldn't have made it.
>
> More later.
Absolutely stupid, an an insult to those seeking preventative care.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: March 31, 2015 01:30PM
Riddle me this Anon Doc.
After 20 years of prodding, insertions,and blockage surgery that resulted in a life threatening post op infection, how much more "prevenitive" treatment should I seek?
More to the point, what am I looking to prevent?
Shitting another cinderblock or subjecting myself to more of your catastophic "care"?
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/31/2015 01:31PM by BEH.
After 20 years of prodding, insertions,and blockage surgery that resulted in a life threatening post op infection, how much more "prevenitive" treatment should I seek?
More to the point, what am I looking to prevent?
Shitting another cinderblock or subjecting myself to more of your catastophic "care"?
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/31/2015 01:31PM by BEH.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 31, 2015 02:13PM
I have to agree. My bowels are up in the air, in the bed after much time on the groan throne.
My ass feels as if, a burrowing caterpillar the size of a Mack truck went through it.
I am beyond tired. My starfish would appreciate prayers to Saint Bonaventure.
My ass feels as if, a burrowing caterpillar the size of a Mack truck went through it.
I am beyond tired. My starfish would appreciate prayers to Saint Bonaventure.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: March 31, 2015 02:56PM
I am now collecting unemployment. I'm so sad. I want to work. Yet constant diarrhea makes it a problem for coworkers, boss.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 31, 2015 03:24PM
Gordo, so unfair. I wish I could be supportive right now, but let me handle the placenta.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: March 31, 2015 08:05PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have to agree. My bowels are up in the air, in
> the bed after much time on the groan throne.
>
> My ass feels as if, a burrowing caterpillar the
> size of a Mack truck went through it.
>
> I am beyond tired. My starfish would appreciate
> prayers to Saint Bonaventure.
BO, I just gave you a double shot of Bonaventure prayer!
Hope it helps.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have to agree. My bowels are up in the air, in
> the bed after much time on the groan throne.
>
> My ass feels as if, a burrowing caterpillar the
> size of a Mack truck went through it.
>
> I am beyond tired. My starfish would appreciate
> prayers to Saint Bonaventure.
BO, I just gave you a double shot of Bonaventure prayer!
Hope it helps.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: March 31, 2015 08:54PM
Thank you Sliced. How are your bowels doing? It's my hope that your recent adventures have calmed down a bit.
For instance, did you inquire about the lady of your eyes bowels at church? Open discussions about our bowels are important. Quite often Matilda and I, along with her rug rat grandchildren discuss our bowels at lunch or at the dinner table.
Norman Rockwell would be proud. I also discussed bowels with my fellow Lions Club members, and a lot of us have woes, yet we continue our charity work.
For instance, did you inquire about the lady of your eyes bowels at church? Open discussions about our bowels are important. Quite often Matilda and I, along with her rug rat grandchildren discuss our bowels at lunch or at the dinner table.
Norman Rockwell would be proud. I also discussed bowels with my fellow Lions Club members, and a lot of us have woes, yet we continue our charity work.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: March 31, 2015 10:01PM
Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am now collecting unemployment. I'm so sad. I
> want to work. Yet constant diarrhea makes it a
> problem for coworkers, boss.
Thats rough to hear , Gordo.
It's true, your rectum is of another spectrum, you squirt soup, and I manufacture cinderblocks.
But we're still brothers of the bowels, bound in brown. We are ostracized, ridiculed, shunned. Our Schphinkters are tortured and battered, our lives marred by our dreadful afflications.
While it may not help you much when your colon is suddenly transformed into a gushing geyser of cascading crap during a childs birthday part or a busy shopping day at Macys, perhaps you could find comfort in the undying support pledged to you by myself, Brownie and Slicerino?
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/01/2015 10:12AM by BEH.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am now collecting unemployment. I'm so sad. I
> want to work. Yet constant diarrhea makes it a
> problem for coworkers, boss.
Thats rough to hear , Gordo.
It's true, your rectum is of another spectrum, you squirt soup, and I manufacture cinderblocks.
But we're still brothers of the bowels, bound in brown. We are ostracized, ridiculed, shunned. Our Schphinkters are tortured and battered, our lives marred by our dreadful afflications.
While it may not help you much when your colon is suddenly transformed into a gushing geyser of cascading crap during a childs birthday part or a busy shopping day at Macys, perhaps you could find comfort in the undying support pledged to you by myself, Brownie and Slicerino?
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/01/2015 10:12AM by BEH.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: April 01, 2015 05:54AM
Good morning all. Just dropped a large number 4 number 2. Today will be a rare code green bowel day for me, I can leave the minivan at home. If only every day could be like this.
Reminds me of the movie Road to Wellville when Anthony Hopkins as Harvey Kellogg states "My own stools, sir are perfect! They are gigantic and have no more odor than a hot biscuit."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RblbZQth0KE
Reminds me of the movie Road to Wellville when Anthony Hopkins as Harvey Kellogg states "My own stools, sir are perfect! They are gigantic and have no more odor than a hot biscuit."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RblbZQth0KE
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: April 01, 2015 06:17AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thank you Sliced. How are your bowels doing? It's
> my hope that your recent adventures have calmed
> down a bit.
>
> For instance, did you inquire about the lady of
> your eyes bowels at church? Open discussions about
> our bowels are important. Quite often Matilda and
> I, along with her rug rat grandchildren discuss
> our bowels at lunch or at the dinner table.
>
> Norman Rockwell would be proud. I also discussed
> bowels with my fellow Lions Club members, and a
> lot of us have woes, yet we continue our charity
> work.
Thanks for asking BO. There was no sign of the cute girl at church Sunday. She is a grade school teacher so she may be away for Spring break. There was a bake sale going on in the fellowship hall after church and I purchased two huge pecan pies. I thought about eating some but I held strong and brought them to work where they were devoured by my co-workers in less than an hour. Oh how I envy people who can eat stuff like that without consequence.
I think you are very lucky to have loved ones who openly discuss bowel issues. Sometimes we all need to take a break and count our blessings.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Thank you Sliced. How are your bowels doing? It's
> my hope that your recent adventures have calmed
> down a bit.
>
> For instance, did you inquire about the lady of
> your eyes bowels at church? Open discussions about
> our bowels are important. Quite often Matilda and
> I, along with her rug rat grandchildren discuss
> our bowels at lunch or at the dinner table.
>
> Norman Rockwell would be proud. I also discussed
> bowels with my fellow Lions Club members, and a
> lot of us have woes, yet we continue our charity
> work.
Thanks for asking BO. There was no sign of the cute girl at church Sunday. She is a grade school teacher so she may be away for Spring break. There was a bake sale going on in the fellowship hall after church and I purchased two huge pecan pies. I thought about eating some but I held strong and brought them to work where they were devoured by my co-workers in less than an hour. Oh how I envy people who can eat stuff like that without consequence.
I think you are very lucky to have loved ones who openly discuss bowel issues. Sometimes we all need to take a break and count our blessings.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 01, 2015 07:32AM
Thank you Sliced, and glad to hear about your # 4 #2. That's a lovely accomplishment, and you should get some sort of medal for that.
Sorry to hear the dame is away, but perhaps this pecan pies event, was a way to show your potential for commitment. It takes a lot to walk away from certain foods, because while our bowels fail us, along with modern science, we ourselves can at least try our best to contend with our bowels.
Job well done.
Sorry to hear the dame is away, but perhaps this pecan pies event, was a way to show your potential for commitment. It takes a lot to walk away from certain foods, because while our bowels fail us, along with modern science, we ourselves can at least try our best to contend with our bowels.
Job well done.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 01, 2015 10:14AM
I feel the cement bags on their way, their rendezvous with destiny, to my poor starfish that's going to scream like foxes fucking.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Nutritionist
()
Date: April 01, 2015 01:14PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I feel the cement bags on their way, their
> rendezvous with destiny, to my poor starfish
> that's going to scream like foxes fucking.
Brown Onion-could you tell me about your diet and exercise plan?
-------------------------------------------------------
> I feel the cement bags on their way, their
> rendezvous with destiny, to my poor starfish
> that's going to scream like foxes fucking.
Brown Onion-could you tell me about your diet and exercise plan?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
GNC 4U
()
Date: April 01, 2015 02:35PM
Get the GNC vita pack. It's for digestive systems and works.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Miscavage
()
Date: April 01, 2015 04:10PM
I think these guys are passed supplements.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Miscavage
()
Date: April 01, 2015 04:10PM
I think these guys are passed supplements.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: April 01, 2015 05:20PM
GNC 4U Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Get the GNC vita pack. It's for digestive systems
> and works.
You must be VERY careful with those supplements. The side effects can be quite severe and life threatening. Here is the list of side effects from web md. When I tried the GNC vita pack I experienced most of them. It was bad, very bad.
Men's Vitapak side effects by likelihood and severity.
The following side effects are associated with Men's Vitapak:
Common side effects of GNC Men's Vitapak:
Chronic Trouble Sleeping Less Severe
NervousLess Severe
Infrequent side effects of Men's Vitapak:
DizzyLess Severe
Extreme Sense of Well BeingLess Severe
Head PainLess Severe
Irritation of the Stomach or IntestinesLess Severe
Sensation of Spinning or WhirlingLess Severe
Rare side effects of Men's Vitapak:
Abnormally Low Blood PressureSevere
BronchospasmSevere
Fast HeartbeatSevere
HallucinationSevere
High Blood PressureSevere
ItchingSevere
Kidney FailureSevere
Mental Disorder with Loss of Normal Personality & RealitySevere
RashSevere
Reaction due to an AllergySevere
Redness of SkinSevere
Visible Water RetentionSevere
Abnormal Liver Function TestsLess Severe
Acute Skin RashLess Severe
AnxiousLess Severe
DiarrheaLess Severe
Difficult or Painful UrinationLess Severe
Excessive SweatingLess Severe
Feel Like Throwing UpLess Severe
Feeling WeakLess Severe
General Abdominal TendernessLess Severe
Involuntary QuiveringLess Severe
Loss of AppetiteLess Severe
Over ExcitementLess Severe
Throwing Up
-------------------------------------------------------
> Get the GNC vita pack. It's for digestive systems
> and works.
You must be VERY careful with those supplements. The side effects can be quite severe and life threatening. Here is the list of side effects from web md. When I tried the GNC vita pack I experienced most of them. It was bad, very bad.
Men's Vitapak side effects by likelihood and severity.
The following side effects are associated with Men's Vitapak:
Common side effects of GNC Men's Vitapak:
Chronic Trouble Sleeping Less Severe
NervousLess Severe
Infrequent side effects of Men's Vitapak:
DizzyLess Severe
Extreme Sense of Well BeingLess Severe
Head PainLess Severe
Irritation of the Stomach or IntestinesLess Severe
Sensation of Spinning or WhirlingLess Severe
Rare side effects of Men's Vitapak:
Abnormally Low Blood PressureSevere
BronchospasmSevere
Fast HeartbeatSevere
HallucinationSevere
High Blood PressureSevere
ItchingSevere
Kidney FailureSevere
Mental Disorder with Loss of Normal Personality & RealitySevere
RashSevere
Reaction due to an AllergySevere
Redness of SkinSevere
Visible Water RetentionSevere
Abnormal Liver Function TestsLess Severe
Acute Skin RashLess Severe
AnxiousLess Severe
DiarrheaLess Severe
Difficult or Painful UrinationLess Severe
Excessive SweatingLess Severe
Feel Like Throwing UpLess Severe
Feeling WeakLess Severe
General Abdominal TendernessLess Severe
Involuntary QuiveringLess Severe
Loss of AppetiteLess Severe
Over ExcitementLess Severe
Throwing Up
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: April 01, 2015 10:13PM
Wow, excreting a Mini Cooper through a thimble sized Schphinkter seems tame compared to that list of side effects.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/01/2015 10:14PM by BEH.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/01/2015 10:14PM by BEH.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 02, 2015 05:45AM
My bowels this morning suggest movement of a basketball.
These three day wait periods are nerve wracking. It's the dreaded anticipation, plus the birthing process, that makes me nervous.
If only I could have the bowels of our dear leader or his #2. Instead my #2 is a large royal pain in the ass, that makes my toe nails dig into tiles and grout.
These three day wait periods are nerve wracking. It's the dreaded anticipation, plus the birthing process, that makes me nervous.
If only I could have the bowels of our dear leader or his #2. Instead my #2 is a large royal pain in the ass, that makes my toe nails dig into tiles and grout.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
GNU 4U
()
Date: April 02, 2015 08:12AM
Patently false. GNC supplements are good for you. What side effects, where from. Calling bs.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Mr. Brown(stone) Onion
()
Date: April 02, 2015 08:24AM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am finally clear. Thank you to the crash cart
> team, the IV staff, the midwives.
>
> Simply put without their encouragement and
> professionalism, and opiate based pain killers,
> I wouldn't have made it.
>
> More later.
I hope you're kidding about the opiates. That there could be the cause of your mizery.
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am finally clear. Thank you to the crash cart
> team, the IV staff, the midwives.
>
> Simply put without their encouragement and
> professionalism, and opiate based pain killers,
> I wouldn't have made it.
>
> More later.
I hope you're kidding about the opiates. That there could be the cause of your mizery.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Mr Brown Underwear
()
Date: April 02, 2015 09:14AM
You guys are continent. Be thankful. I might start a thread about what wearing adult diapers is like. I'd trade for IBS any day. Be happy assholes!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
James Brown Stains
()
Date: April 02, 2015 09:31AM
WOW! I FEEL GOOD!!!!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Deadly combo
()
Date: April 02, 2015 10:55AM
Several days ago someone posted they had "normal" bowels maybe 80 days a year (was it Sliced?). Anyone else care to share their number of normal days a year? Or is it essentially zero for the regular posters here (looking in your direction BO)?
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: April 02, 2015 12:36PM
I have not had a fluffy, easy to pass bowel movement in 20 years.
Every other week or so, when the thought of the next fieldstone prying my sensitive Schphinktoid muscle apart is too much to bear, I will consume a quart of Citrate of Magnesium and pure liquid fecal matter cascades out my ass for hours. But I can't go anywhere or make plans for that day.
It also causes severe dehydration, and the entire event is exhausting.
But sometimes I have to give myself a break from a Volkswagan van sized stool making The Autobahn out of my Anus.
Every other week or so, when the thought of the next fieldstone prying my sensitive Schphinktoid muscle apart is too much to bear, I will consume a quart of Citrate of Magnesium and pure liquid fecal matter cascades out my ass for hours. But I can't go anywhere or make plans for that day.
It also causes severe dehydration, and the entire event is exhausting.
But sometimes I have to give myself a break from a Volkswagan van sized stool making The Autobahn out of my Anus.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 02, 2015 01:28PM
I think it's funny how nitwits think some vitamin is going to help our hammered out assholes. Our bowels have been punished, and yet modern medicine of the colon, heck archaeologists know more about dinosaurs.
We literally are the Undiscovered Anus.
Deadly, sadly I'll probably never experience a #4 #2. It would be more likely to win the lottery. I'd say I crap every other day on average, but sometimes am blessed to pass a basketball instead of the Goodyear Blimp.
We literally are the Undiscovered Anus.
Deadly, sadly I'll probably never experience a #4 #2. It would be more likely to win the lottery. I'd say I crap every other day on average, but sometimes am blessed to pass a basketball instead of the Goodyear Blimp.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
black underwear
()
Date: April 02, 2015 01:40PM
Fuck you scat lovers!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Deadly combo
()
Date: April 02, 2015 02:00PM
BEH and BO, you guys have my sympathy. Tough for me to imagine going through that as part of my daily routine.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: April 02, 2015 02:03PM
GNU 4U Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Patently false. GNC supplements are good for you.
> What side effects, where from. Calling bs.
User name GNC4U,
To even stipulate such nonsense in a write up is irresponsible. Are these regulated by the FDA? Not a chance, and if you wonder why numerous class action lawsuits are against GNC and other "supplementary companies," that should be enough to give you pause before you brag before knowing fact over fiction.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Patently false. GNC supplements are good for you.
> What side effects, where from. Calling bs.
User name GNC4U,
To even stipulate such nonsense in a write up is irresponsible. Are these regulated by the FDA? Not a chance, and if you wonder why numerous class action lawsuits are against GNC and other "supplementary companies," that should be enough to give you pause before you brag before knowing fact over fiction.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: April 02, 2015 02:11PM
I had hopes of the starship enterprise emerging from my black hole this morning but it turned out to be just a shuttle craft. I guess I will take that over the brown river that was flowing out the day before I had to go to the hospital.
PS, I took a shower this morning to eliminate the Klingons.
PS, I took a shower this morning to eliminate the Klingons.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 02, 2015 02:53PM
Sliced so the back up prior to the deluge?
I'd highly recommend a crash cart, and based on what the midwives recommend, perhaps an epidural.
I'd highly recommend a crash cart, and based on what the midwives recommend, perhaps an epidural.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 02, 2015 02:59PM
You walk in that Thai restaurant, and you are dazzled by Buddha statues. The decorations, succulent aromas, steaming grills, and the Thai lady who reminds you of #12 in that Bangkok window.
You are feeling blissful, remembering those glory days on a moped in Thailand, sleeping with five beautiful ladies who bathe you in the morning. You lose your focus, eating that dish which was your favorite when with the peace corps.
Yet the times have changed. Your bowels have betrayed you. Because of that spicy chicken, your bowels are going to be in a protracted east versus west battle, which will leave you crying on the groan throne.
You are feeling blissful, remembering those glory days on a moped in Thailand, sleeping with five beautiful ladies who bathe you in the morning. You lose your focus, eating that dish which was your favorite when with the peace corps.
Yet the times have changed. Your bowels have betrayed you. Because of that spicy chicken, your bowels are going to be in a protracted east versus west battle, which will leave you crying on the groan throne.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Nutritionist
()
Date: April 02, 2015 04:18PM
IBS has no cure, and I feel bad about that. Yet help in easing the symptoms is available, such as eating lots of greens. Kale is my personal recommendation, but please lay off dressings. Keep it simple, have a balanced diet of both fruits and vegetables.
Portion control is imperative. Also I'd like to see users here, eat their meals a bit more slowly for a couple of weeks. I am certain you will see a huge difference. Also exercise. I'm not asking you or suggesting, running marathons or spending hours in the gym.
A brisk forty five minute walk a day, stimulates normal bowel movements. That's clear from studies all over the world, and the recent work conducted by the University of Vermont showed this in all age groups.
Portion control is imperative. Also I'd like to see users here, eat their meals a bit more slowly for a couple of weeks. I am certain you will see a huge difference. Also exercise. I'm not asking you or suggesting, running marathons or spending hours in the gym.
A brisk forty five minute walk a day, stimulates normal bowel movements. That's clear from studies all over the world, and the recent work conducted by the University of Vermont showed this in all age groups.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: April 02, 2015 07:51PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You walk in that Thai restaurant, and you are
> dazzled by Buddha statues. The decorations,
> succulent aromas, steaming grills, and the Thai
> lady who reminds you of #12 in that Bangkok
> window.
>
> You are feeling blissful, remembering those glory
> days on a moped in Thailand, sleeping with five
> beautiful ladies who bathe you in the morning. You
> lose your focus, eating that dish which was your
> favorite when with the peace corps.
>
> Yet the times have changed. Your bowels have
> betrayed you. Because of that spicy chicken, your
> bowels are going to be in a protracted east versus
> west battle, which will leave you crying on the
> groan throne.
Is thai food your weakness BO?
Mine is Italian food, pizza and meatball subs.
-------------------------------------------------------
> You walk in that Thai restaurant, and you are
> dazzled by Buddha statues. The decorations,
> succulent aromas, steaming grills, and the Thai
> lady who reminds you of #12 in that Bangkok
> window.
>
> You are feeling blissful, remembering those glory
> days on a moped in Thailand, sleeping with five
> beautiful ladies who bathe you in the morning. You
> lose your focus, eating that dish which was your
> favorite when with the peace corps.
>
> Yet the times have changed. Your bowels have
> betrayed you. Because of that spicy chicken, your
> bowels are going to be in a protracted east versus
> west battle, which will leave you crying on the
> groan throne.
Is thai food your weakness BO?
Mine is Italian food, pizza and meatball subs.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 03, 2015 07:39AM
Good morning Sliced,
It seems your weakness is a delicious one, but a disaster of Hindeberg proportions. Italian food is delicious, but once consumed, Pavarotti will be sliding through your intestines.
Thai is a weakness, but dairy is far worse. A block of Gouda would be great, but the amount of brown matter wouldn't be worth it.
That was more of a writing exercise, to deal with frustration and show those without our affliction to count their blessings.
@Nutrition blah. None of that is worth a dime.
It seems your weakness is a delicious one, but a disaster of Hindeberg proportions. Italian food is delicious, but once consumed, Pavarotti will be sliding through your intestines.
Thai is a weakness, but dairy is far worse. A block of Gouda would be great, but the amount of brown matter wouldn't be worth it.
That was more of a writing exercise, to deal with frustration and show those without our affliction to count their blessings.
@Nutrition blah. None of that is worth a dime.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: April 03, 2015 08:47AM
The office is half empty today. Boss man says we can leave at 1pm in honor of good Friday. I know I should not be eating meat today but am thinking about a footlong meatball and cheese sub with a couple cold draft beers for a late lunch. I am sick of white rice and rabbit food. Trying to decide if it's worth it. I can stay home and be close to a throne all day tomorrow. Hopefully I can recover in time for sunrise service at church on Sunday.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Deadly combo
()
Date: April 03, 2015 10:00AM
BO, you mention a block of gouda. Although I don't suffer the same ordeal as you and other regulars here do, the one consumable that gets to me if I don't eat it in moderation are hot peppers. If I do indulge, I make sure to stay close to home the next day as the lave flow is inevitable the next morning.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 03, 2015 11:54AM
Sliced,
OH my goodness. Pray to Jesus, that you don't drop Pontius Pilate out of your rear end.
"The crosses we bear" are part of life, but to yell on the groan throne for a taste of delight, that's putting your faith on the line.
Much like Jesus, 40 days and 40 nights, being tempted by Satan, I hope your bowels survive this.
OH my goodness. Pray to Jesus, that you don't drop Pontius Pilate out of your rear end.
"The crosses we bear" are part of life, but to yell on the groan throne for a taste of delight, that's putting your faith on the line.
Much like Jesus, 40 days and 40 nights, being tempted by Satan, I hope your bowels survive this.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 03, 2015 11:56AM
Deadly,
You might have a slight case of IBS. So you have the Gordo version? If so I'm sorry, due to the runs and dehydration.
I am glad your bowels can handle other foods.
You might have a slight case of IBS. So you have the Gordo version? If so I'm sorry, due to the runs and dehydration.
I am glad your bowels can handle other foods.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Deadly combo
()
Date: April 03, 2015 12:27PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Deadly,
>
> You might have a slight case of IBS. So you have
> the Gordo version? If so I'm sorry, due to the
> runs and dehydration.
>
> I am glad your bowels can handle other foods.
Not so much the runs, but the fiery evacuation, which is of course preceded by the cramps. In my youth I could gobble hot peppers by the fistful, but age is catching up with me.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Deadly,
>
> You might have a slight case of IBS. So you have
> the Gordo version? If so I'm sorry, due to the
> runs and dehydration.
>
> I am glad your bowels can handle other foods.
Not so much the runs, but the fiery evacuation, which is of course preceded by the cramps. In my youth I could gobble hot peppers by the fistful, but age is catching up with me.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 03, 2015 03:17PM
Fistful, a bit nervous with that word Deadly.
Anyhow, I'm glad you don't get the runs. Yet Yosemite Sam buns are burning heat isn't fun. Yes just like us, your bowels have betrayed you.
On this Easter weekend not with a kiss, but hours of cramping and birth like experiences.
Now to drop, what literally could be John Kerry's head through my intestines.
Anyhow, I'm glad you don't get the runs. Yet Yosemite Sam buns are burning heat isn't fun. Yes just like us, your bowels have betrayed you.
On this Easter weekend not with a kiss, but hours of cramping and birth like experiences.
Now to drop, what literally could be John Kerry's head through my intestines.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: April 03, 2015 07:31PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sliced,
>
> OH my goodness. Pray to Jesus, that you don't
> drop Pontius Pilate out of your rear end.
>
> "The crosses we bear" are part of life, but to
> yell on the groan throne for a taste of delight,
> that's putting your faith on the line.
>
> Much like Jesus, 40 days and 40 nights, being
> tempted by Satan, I hope your bowels survive
> this.
BO, I only ate half the sub. You saved me from eating the other half, God bless you. My gut is churning a little bit now but it could have been worse. Thanks.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sliced,
>
> OH my goodness. Pray to Jesus, that you don't
> drop Pontius Pilate out of your rear end.
>
> "The crosses we bear" are part of life, but to
> yell on the groan throne for a taste of delight,
> that's putting your faith on the line.
>
> Much like Jesus, 40 days and 40 nights, being
> tempted by Satan, I hope your bowels survive
> this.
BO, I only ate half the sub. You saved me from eating the other half, God bless you. My gut is churning a little bit now but it could have been worse. Thanks.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 04, 2015 07:57AM
Likewise God bless you and your bowels.
Easter, while we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, is also painful. Ham while it might be tasty, can lead to hours of blood curdling misery on the groan throne.
Easter, while we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, is also painful. Ham while it might be tasty, can lead to hours of blood curdling misery on the groan throne.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 04, 2015 08:37AM
That was a quick visit to the groan throne.
I didn't enjoy that one. It was like squeezing Charlie Browns "Great Pumpkin" through a 1/2 PVC pipe.
The framed Bristol Stool Guides have use, but I'm going to research if our anal mucous, helps lubricate a bit for taking a dump.
I didn't enjoy that one. It was like squeezing Charlie Browns "Great Pumpkin" through a 1/2 PVC pipe.
The framed Bristol Stool Guides have use, but I'm going to research if our anal mucous, helps lubricate a bit for taking a dump.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: April 04, 2015 10:50AM
Mr. Brown(stone) Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I am finally clear. Thank you to the crash cart
> > team, the IV staff, the midwives.
> >
> > Simply put without their encouragement and
> > professionalism, and opiate based pain killers,
>
> > I wouldn't have made it.
> >
> > More later.
>
> I hope you're kidding about the opiates. That
> there could be the cause of your mizery.
User name Mr.Brown, your write up makes the most sense so far. It would not surprise me if these idiots used pharmaceutical products improperly, or illicit drugs for that matter.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Brown Onion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I am finally clear. Thank you to the crash cart
> > team, the IV staff, the midwives.
> >
> > Simply put without their encouragement and
> > professionalism, and opiate based pain killers,
>
> > I wouldn't have made it.
> >
> > More later.
>
> I hope you're kidding about the opiates. That
> there could be the cause of your mizery.
User name Mr.Brown, your write up makes the most sense so far. It would not surprise me if these idiots used pharmaceutical products improperly, or illicit drugs for that matter.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 04, 2015 11:48AM
Yes, it makes sense sticking a beefy finger in my asshole, and promising it will help as you and your sadistic "drs" talk about sports.
I shit out huge ones, and all you do is add misery.
I shit out huge ones, and all you do is add misery.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 04, 2015 01:42PM
Matilda and her rug rats are over now.
She knows better, for both of us. She brought a honey baked ham, along with macaroni and cheese.
My sister, I love her, but our discussions of our bowel woes, she should be practical. If she eats this, I'm down one bathroom, and don't want to hear her grunting, screaming, and pulling out floor tiles.
She knows better, for both of us. She brought a honey baked ham, along with macaroni and cheese.
My sister, I love her, but our discussions of our bowel woes, she should be practical. If she eats this, I'm down one bathroom, and don't want to hear her grunting, screaming, and pulling out floor tiles.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
onions shits
()
Date: April 04, 2015 01:44PM
Just took a shit, lots of onions prior day. Smelled shitty toilet paper before putting in toilet. Smells nice, like onion. Strong smell. Onion and shit.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
skiced onion
()
Date: April 04, 2015 02:01PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Likewise God bless you and your bowels.
>
> Easter, while we celebrate the resurrection of
> Jesus, is also painful. Ham while it might be
> tasty, can lead to hours of blood curdling misery
> on the groan throne.
The meatball and cheese sub has not completed it's trip through my system yet but I am thankful that I did not have the 3am explosive episode that I was expecting. One of my sisters has invited me to a Easter Sunday lunch at her house. She is serving ham, scalloped potato's, biscuits and salad with cake for desert. I think I will go but just have the salad and maybe one biscuit. I am pretty low on leave time at work thanks to my wacky bowels so I cant risk ham and greasy potato's.
I get 24 days of paid leave a year and my bowels are responsible for the majority of those days off. Normal people get to go to the beach or the mountains or whatever but not me.
Glad to hear about your great pumpkin BO, at least it was quick. You deserve a break after that episode.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Likewise God bless you and your bowels.
>
> Easter, while we celebrate the resurrection of
> Jesus, is also painful. Ham while it might be
> tasty, can lead to hours of blood curdling misery
> on the groan throne.
The meatball and cheese sub has not completed it's trip through my system yet but I am thankful that I did not have the 3am explosive episode that I was expecting. One of my sisters has invited me to a Easter Sunday lunch at her house. She is serving ham, scalloped potato's, biscuits and salad with cake for desert. I think I will go but just have the salad and maybe one biscuit. I am pretty low on leave time at work thanks to my wacky bowels so I cant risk ham and greasy potato's.
I get 24 days of paid leave a year and my bowels are responsible for the majority of those days off. Normal people get to go to the beach or the mountains or whatever but not me.
Glad to hear about your great pumpkin BO, at least it was quick. You deserve a break after that episode.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 04, 2015 03:25PM
Eating an abundance of onions doesn't sound good for your bowels.
Sliced, my goodness is your sister that insensitive, or do you keep your bowels on the downlow? None of us here will judge, due to society and medicine giving us a thick ring finger.
That is a good benefits package. Yet I'm sorry your bowels have betrayed you so badly. Instead of admiring women in skimpy bikinis on the beach, we are bloated or pushing out the HMS Titanic.
It's a shame. Those with bad bowels, please don't wear thongs.
Sliced, my goodness is your sister that insensitive, or do you keep your bowels on the downlow? None of us here will judge, due to society and medicine giving us a thick ring finger.
That is a good benefits package. Yet I'm sorry your bowels have betrayed you so badly. Instead of admiring women in skimpy bikinis on the beach, we are bloated or pushing out the HMS Titanic.
It's a shame. Those with bad bowels, please don't wear thongs.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
sliced onion
()
Date: April 04, 2015 04:43PM
Brown Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Eating an abundance of onions doesn't sound good
> for your bowels.
>
> Sliced, my goodness is your sister that
> insensitive, or do you keep your bowels on the
> downlow? None of us here will judge, due to
> society and medicine giving us a thick ring
> finger.
>
> That is a good benefits package. Yet I'm sorry
> your bowels have betrayed you so badly. Instead of
> admiring women in skimpy bikinis on the beach, we
> are bloated or pushing out the HMS Titanic.
>
> It's a shame. Those with bad bowels, please don't
> wear thongs.
My family is aware that I suffer some digestive issues but I go to great lengths to hide my problems. It is just so embarrassing! My boss keeps asking why I drive my minivan so often instead of my company car. No way I can tell him that I need to have my emergency shithouse on wheels with me most days. I think if I explained my situation to him he would take the car back and pay me a mileage allowance but I fear that word would get out about my disorder if I did that.
It is nice to be able to talk about it here. Thanks
-------------------------------------------------------
> Eating an abundance of onions doesn't sound good
> for your bowels.
>
> Sliced, my goodness is your sister that
> insensitive, or do you keep your bowels on the
> downlow? None of us here will judge, due to
> society and medicine giving us a thick ring
> finger.
>
> That is a good benefits package. Yet I'm sorry
> your bowels have betrayed you so badly. Instead of
> admiring women in skimpy bikinis on the beach, we
> are bloated or pushing out the HMS Titanic.
>
> It's a shame. Those with bad bowels, please don't
> wear thongs.
My family is aware that I suffer some digestive issues but I go to great lengths to hide my problems. It is just so embarrassing! My boss keeps asking why I drive my minivan so often instead of my company car. No way I can tell him that I need to have my emergency shithouse on wheels with me most days. I think if I explained my situation to him he would take the car back and pay me a mileage allowance but I fear that word would get out about my disorder if I did that.
It is nice to be able to talk about it here. Thanks
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Wally Joyner
()
Date: April 04, 2015 06:44PM
Come on! This is such baloney. This is the fibromyalgia garbage, doctors are feeding you guys, to line their pockets with cash. Enough, 4 reals!
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 05, 2015 06:34AM
Its as real as this Easter is.
I'm sorry Sliced, the stigma with our bowel woes. Off to the groan throne.
I'm sorry Sliced, the stigma with our bowel woes. Off to the groan throne.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Brown Onion
()
Date: April 05, 2015 09:03AM
I just dropped Pontius Pilate through my rear end. No crown of thorns, but that was a sacrifice.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: April 05, 2015 12:34PM
No Easter egg hunt for me.
My experience this morning was more like The Hunt for Red October, more specifically, Brown October, although the post elimination Sitz bath did produce red tinged waters.
While Red October was a nuclear powered sub driven by Sean Connery, my Brown October was solely gravity propelled.
Surely, it felt like a gargantuan sea going vessel scraping the banks of a small mountain stream.
Please excuse me while I survey the damage done to my long suffering Schphinkter.
Truly, a crappin goes down with his shit.
My experience this morning was more like The Hunt for Red October, more specifically, Brown October, although the post elimination Sitz bath did produce red tinged waters.
While Red October was a nuclear powered sub driven by Sean Connery, my Brown October was solely gravity propelled.
Surely, it felt like a gargantuan sea going vessel scraping the banks of a small mountain stream.
Please excuse me while I survey the damage done to my long suffering Schphinkter.
Truly, a crappin goes down with his shit.
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by:
Anon Doc
()
Date: April 05, 2015 01:08PM
User name BEH,
I'm guessing your GI didn't put you on a prescription, because he realized you were far too immature and too much of a risk mentally. You really need to grow up.
I'm guessing your GI didn't put you on a prescription, because he realized you were far too immature and too much of a risk mentally. You really need to grow up.