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Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 30, 2014 01:27PM

Rockets thanks for the information, although they probably wouldn't help my tired wretched rectum, that has been pushed far past its limits. I hope these help some with less severe cases.

One day all of us pushing together, we will find a cure.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: January 30, 2014 02:06PM

Probiotics didn't do a thing.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 30, 2014 04:42PM

Probiotics, lettuce and fisting, this is the advice we get?

Thats like attacking a battleship with spit balls.

We've got issues with extreme discomfort and humiliation and all we can get is wives tales type advice from the last century.

Why don't these people with their genius advice go to the cancer ward and tell the patients to drink more orange juice and eat some lettuce and greek yogurt?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Idea Goy ()
Date: January 30, 2014 06:03PM

Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Folks you are all over the place, let's keep our
> focus on our bowels, and foods along with stimuli
> that cause them to be against us. This thread is
> supposed to be about the 10% of us, that have
> temperamental bowels, uniting under the brown
> banner as a sign of unity.
>
> There is no IBS Foundation "Pound the Brown", or
> any others willing to work on our
> behalf/backsides.
>
> The closest we have to visible support is the
> brown uniforms and trucks of UPS.
>
> Please continue to support each other, and let's
> make allies in the battle of the bowels.


Foundations to be formed (extruded?) for IBS:

Dirt Road Runners DRR
Two in the Pink, One in the Stink
BrownTown (sung to the tune of Downtown)
Square Bricks
Race for the Door, then for the cure
Brown Cross Brown Shield
FEMA - Fecal Evacuation Management Agency
ObamaCare
Anus and Them
American Sphincter Society - ASS
Tearfully United for Rectal Discomfort
Pain In The Ass - PITA

Your nominations?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 30, 2014 06:18PM

Brown Cross Brown Shield!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 31, 2014 07:23AM

Exceptional names, I like "Square Bricks".

Unfortunately last night though, I had a shit that looked like that rock coming after Indiana Jones and Short Round in the Temple of Doom.

Drinking lots of water hope it produces more mucous.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 31, 2014 09:21AM

Gordo BEH others,

What's your opinion on contacting the Cleveland Browns, to see if they would be the official NFL team for those with IBS? Both versions, C and D, could benefit from such support.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Undies ()
Date: January 31, 2014 12:48PM

My choice is fuck off

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Johnny Rockets ()
Date: January 31, 2014 02:12PM

I'm convinced you could be cleared up with vsl3. It's at Walgreens at the pharmacy.

The OTC formula has 425 billion good bacterias, eight strains.

The prescription one has 900 billion.

Many have found these helpful. The good bacteria override the bad.

If you have had Z pack or other antibiotics, this is recommended to ward off diarrhea. A smart choice but they cost $1-2 a day.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 31, 2014 04:39PM

Great info Rockets, and thank you for sharing this, because our asses, the very fabric of our being is on the line. We have been tested, tormented really, as our bowels have betrayed us in a Judas like fashion.

There was no kiss involved, but to have suffered, that much is correct.

Yet I like the unity and brown brigade here. There are some that mock us, but we must turn the other cheek.

Now checking out this product.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 31, 2014 08:15PM

Here is the website.


http://www.vsl3.com/discover/ibs-recipes.asp

Lots of good information, even friendly food recipies for IBS sufferers.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: zzzzzzzzz ()
Date: February 01, 2014 05:52AM

so how is diaper boy today ?
Attachments:
diaper.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Harry Tuttle ()
Date: February 01, 2014 05:57AM

God damn... this is a sleeper thread...

It keeps popping up...

Is this, like, a valuable resource for people with IBS?

So... hey guys... When I eat a lot of peanuts, I get a very chalky poop the next day...

I also don't really care for pooping out foliage after I've eaten a salad...

Furthermore...

Whenever I drink a lot of red wine, I get a dark waxy wipe...

Anyone know what I'm talking about?

Signatures are for fags

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: rwerr ()
Date: February 01, 2014 06:29AM

just stay far away from any dairy for those that are lactose intolerant

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: February 01, 2014 07:20AM

Harry Tuttle Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> God damn... this is a sleeper thread...
>
> It keeps popping up...
>
> Is this, like, a valuable resource for people with
> IBS?
>
> So... hey guys... When I eat a lot of peanuts, I
> get a very chalky poop the next day...
>
> I also don't really care for pooping out foliage
> after I've eaten a salad...
>
> Furthermore...
>
> Whenever I drink a lot of red wine, I get a dark
> waxy wipe...
>
> Anyone know what I'm talking about?

Mr. T, I know exactly what you're talking about.

May I congratulate you sir, on your wonderful digestive system?

Ah, to see the undigested roughage would be absoloutly heavenly.

You have nothing to worry about as far as your Schphincter is concerned.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 01, 2014 10:57AM

I'm perusing this site, and find it informative.

Thanks Rockets and BEH!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc ()
Date: February 01, 2014 11:16AM

I'm not surprised that these write ups have reached a new low, especially with slogans and obnoxious pictures about IBS. Based upon my many years in the field, it appears you all need immediate psychiatric services.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: February 01, 2014 06:12PM

Anon Doc, you have the personality traits of one that is not only anal retentive, but in deep denial.

May I suggest that YOU seek psychiatric AND ano-recto treatment?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/01/2014 06:12PM by BEH.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: efghtr ()
Date: February 02, 2014 04:40AM

Anon Doc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm not surprised that these write ups have
> reached a new low, especially with slogans and
> obnoxious pictures about IBS. Based upon my many
> years in the field, it appears you all need
> immediate psychiatric services.


your just pissed because you are not getting $180 a office visit for doing nothing but taking a blood pressure and spewing drugs that make the situation worse

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Oniom ()
Date: February 02, 2014 08:35AM

Yesterday my defecation was surprisingly easy after that Indiana Jones Temple of Doom rock.

Does anyone else here have some blood on their toilet paper?
It looked like drops and I was shocked no brow
I did accomplissomethih

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 02, 2014 08:37AM

Sorry about that bloating is a bitch. My accomplishment was writing to the Cleveland Browns for support in our battle of the bowels

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: wayitis123 ()
Date: February 02, 2014 08:47AM

Blooming Oniom Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Does anyone else here have some blood on their
> toilet paper?
> It looked like drops and I was shocked no brow
> I did accomplissomethih


its called hemorrhoids
Attachments:
preph.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: February 02, 2014 09:00AM

efghtr Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anon Doc Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I'm not surprised that these write ups have
> > reached a new low, especially with slogans and
> > obnoxious pictures about IBS. Based upon my
> many
> > years in the field, it appears you all need
> > immediate psychiatric services.
>
>
> your just pissed because you are not getting $180
> a office visit for doing nothing but taking a
> blood pressure and spewing drugs that make the
> situation worse

Not to mention his insensitive bedside manner and bad manicure.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: February 02, 2014 09:03AM

Blooming Oniom Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Does anyone else here have some blood on their
> toilet paper?





Yes, almost daily. My hemorrhoid is bleeding constantly.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Eeshagain ()
Date: February 02, 2014 09:10AM

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Blooming Oniom Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
> > Does anyone else here have some blood on their
> > toilet paper?
>
>
>
>
>
> Yes, almost daily. My hemorrhoid is bleeding
> constantly.



you are a hemorrhoid on the face of the earth

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: cszqaa ()
Date: February 03, 2014 02:33AM

uh oh.. something is rumbling down there

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Johnny Rockets ()
Date: February 03, 2014 05:00AM

I hope you try the VSL #3. It really is probiotics on steroids.

The cost of $1 a day, well its not cheap.

Yet it hasn't caused me stomach problems. I forgot which brand did but one left me feeling uncomfortable.

This one has made a huge difference.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: zzzzzzzzz ()
Date: February 03, 2014 05:03AM

.
Attachments:
chart.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Eeshagain ()
Date: February 03, 2014 05:13AM

.
Attachments:
expsign.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 03, 2014 07:36AM

So great to see the Bristol Stool Guide here, although I have those framed in each of my bathrooms. This helps with my Log Books, where I enter in obviously the number, along with a one to ten on the pain meter.

Last night my bowels had a rough shaking battered type of experience. I have a feeling my asshole was stretched to the maximum, of this I have no doubt.

I hope today is better, just drank two servings of Metamusil. Hoping for the best, and I'm sure my neighbors do too.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: ijust took a dump ()
Date: February 03, 2014 07:50AM

i just took a dump and it was blue but not on this chart. any ideas ?




Color – The standard stool color is brown or golden brown, but that can vary a lot depending what is happening for you:

Green – This often happens after eating blueberries, kale, spinach, spirulina or wheat grass or when you’ve been taking iron supplements. It may also indicate that you have extra bile in your BMs, as bile is green.

Red – If you eat beets, your BMs are most likely going to take on a red color. If your BMs are red and you haven’t been eating beets, you may have blood in your stool.

Yellow – People with gastro-esophageal reflux disease often have yellow-colored stools. This can also occur with insufficient bile, or when food is moving through your digestive system really quickly, such as with diarrhea.

Pale or Grey – If your BMs are grey or very pale, very little bile is being released into your intestines.

Black – Stools turn black when you take iron supplements or stomach remedies like Pepto-Bismol. Black may also indicate bleeding if you’re not taking anything that could be causing the color change.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: the harlot ()
Date: February 03, 2014 07:57AM

ijust took a dump Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> i just took a dump and it was blue but not on this
> chart. any ideas ?
>
>
>


I had the same problem, mine was turquoise

Hopefully we can get some good advice here

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mr Brown Underwear ()
Date: February 03, 2014 08:12AM

zzzzzzzzz Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> so how is diaper boy today ?


Fuck you! One day you'll have the same problem. See if its funny then asshole!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: zzzzzzzzz ()
Date: February 03, 2014 08:15AM

Mr Brown Underwear Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> zzzzzzzzz Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > so how is diaper boy today ?
>
>
> Fuck you! One day you'll have the same problem.
> See if its funny then asshole!


wow.. constipated today ?

Here it is in smelly vapors,
Someone stole the toilet paper.
How much longer shall I linger
Till I'm forced to use my finger?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 03, 2014 08:53AM

Zzzz, if you had Browns issues, you would not be so smug.

I don't wish for you or anyone to have bowel problems, although you should learn about them, and how they can be so important.

Join us by showing support.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: isupportibs ()
Date: February 03, 2014 09:00AM

.
Attachments:
ibs.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 03, 2014 10:04AM

Thank you, that's much better. While it should be brown in color, that's a nice gesture. Unity I'd say is imperative, because we have great days, while others are giving birth, with a surgical team and a man with cigars standing by at the ready.

Your ass is what expels all good, bad, or indifferent to what our bodies depend on.

Yet we must hold our heads up high, whether we are standing or crouched down. I hope one day the football team will join our cause, or a rich person with IBS will have a vehicle in NASCAR.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Kolaa ()
Date: February 03, 2014 10:39AM

Who the sponsors gonna be? Pepto and Metamucil ?

Stupid. But Metamucil does work. I used to have chronic constipation. 3 times a day equals a cure for IBS.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: February 03, 2014 10:42AM

Good morning. It feels good to go to work with snickering and Poopy Pants stickers on my desk. Thank you Human Resources, I feel better and can focus on work.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Some Ol' Wive's Tale ()
Date: February 03, 2014 11:00AM

Aside from a strict diet, daily exercise should be emphasized, at least for those suffering from chronic constipation. For in-home exercise, I think using a rebounder/mini-trampoline is a really good way to stir up impacted fecal matter while being easy on the joints as well the floorboards.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Kolaa ()
Date: February 03, 2014 11:51AM

Better idea than what these nitwits are talking about.

Made up disease. Take Metamucil , can we start a fund?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Kolaa ()
Date: February 03, 2014 12:19PM

Take this for your made up disease, its a cure
Attachments:
images-3.jpeg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 03, 2014 12:54PM

At least some good news, congrats Gordo.


Like Patton said "I don't want to hear we are holding the position."

You are progressing forward. Be grateful and steady March!

IBS is a real medical diagnosis. 7% of us have IBS. Metamucil is useful but not going to stop our misery.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Undies ()
Date: February 03, 2014 02:19PM

Old ladies room here.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 03, 2014 03:32PM

Black,

Do I or anyone else here with IBS, fistulas, or related conditions give you shit? I bet I could go all the way to the beginning of this thread, and those of us with bowel issues, has not been negative to those with golden ones.

You should be thankful. You don't have to worry about racing stripes on your underwear that stinks, square basketballs being pushed out of your rear end, hemorrhoids, dingleberries, or anything pertinent to that 31 feet of intestines in your body. You are lucky, enjoy your exceptional bowels.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Kolaa ()
Date: February 03, 2014 03:58PM

Blooming Onion and Black Undies should get a room

Metamusil would resolve the IBS completely, not sure about those red tomatos but it would probably

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: February 03, 2014 04:31PM

Kolaa Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Who the sponsors gonna be? Pepto and Metamucil ?
>
> Stupid. But Metamucil does work. I used to have
> chronic constipation. 3 times a day equals a cure
> for IBS.

If only it were that simple.

Your self righteous ignorance should annoy me Kolaa, but having acute chronic constipation has put myself and others in the line of fire of so many insensitive unknowledgeable ignoramuses, that your ridiculous comments slide like water off a ducks ass.


Don't you think that the first time I tried to shit an aircraft carrier sized stool , I frantically searched for relief?

I've tried every remedy, every doctor (many of which share your snide indignation) and all suggestions for the past 30 years.

The only people who understand are those afflicted as badly as I.

It doesn't matter if you're incontinent or constipated , it is all pain and humiliation.

But like Conan the Barbarian said, "whatever does not kill me , makes me stronger".

You too might understand this if you've ever passed out in pain and terror from trying to excrete a massive concrete slab through the eye of a needle sized Schphinkter.

So while I'm still digging my nails into the bathroom wall trying to eliminate a Toyota sized brick, you can giggle like a schoolgirl to your hearts content, your folly is the least of my concerns.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Jeff V Wild ()
Date: February 03, 2014 04:45PM

Ok unique stuff here. I got a question for you. Why is it when I have a large dinner, it can be only a matter of minutes before I have to drop a deuce? The one on Thanksgiving scared me. I'm convinced it was two feet long.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: February 03, 2014 04:48PM

Jeff, for those with normal bowel function, eating often stimulates the bowels to start to move.

In with the good, out with the bad, if you will.

You're lucky. Nice, long, fluffy stools are easy to pass, and wiping is a cinch.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Roto Roooooooter ()
Date: February 03, 2014 05:41PM

Sounds like beh could use fisting to his advantage.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Tough One ()
Date: February 03, 2014 07:15PM

Kolaa Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Take this for your made up disease, its a cure


I don't think Metamucil will cure IBS, but it in the past few months, has helped me take some awesome dumps. Very regular and what a relief they are.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 04, 2014 07:04AM

I feel as if President Obama, should enter my bathroom, and present me with the Presidential Medal of Honor. That may very well have been the largest crap of my life. I'm not sure what caused it, as the foods I've eaten have been healthy. The water amounts have been normal.

That looked like the peach from the famous Ronald Dahl series, and my rectum is going to be in the infirmary for rest and recovery. My ass just hurts. There is no getting around that. I hope there is no placenta like afterbirth because there has already been enough screaming.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: February 04, 2014 08:50AM

I guess ours is opposite. My bowel movements are diarrhea based. I don't know which is worse. Mine might be more embarrassing, yours more painful. Last night I had red diarrhea because of borscht.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Kolaa ()
Date: February 04, 2014 09:10AM

Not a real condition, munchausen by proxy type of bullshit.


If it was real, it would be a medical condition, there's no proof of this being diagnosed. A doctor can say "might be" but cannot verify it. Sorry you have constipation, that's a real and not fun time when it happens.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 04, 2014 09:50AM

It's as real as a heart attack. Obviously you have never been to a GI, but maybe you should make an appointment.

Even if he doesn't physically exam you, his war stories are sure enough to change your perspective.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Jeff V Wild ()
Date: February 04, 2014 10:05AM

Kolooa you are a piece of shit.

Pay attention to the entire thread these people are hurting.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 04, 2014 11:46AM

Thanks Jeff, this shit is for real.

Would I go through painful exams, that could best be described as making me feel sodomized, if this condition was fake? Oh hell no. The cold doctors gloved fingers and ice cold demeanor don't help either.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Johnny Rockets ()
Date: February 04, 2014 12:46PM

The Vsl3 is great. If you want to reduce/eliminate flare ups, this is a good avenue.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc ()
Date: February 04, 2014 12:53PM

efghtr Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anon Doc Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I'm not surprised that these write ups have
> > reached a new low, especially with slogans and
> > obnoxious pictures about IBS. Based upon my
> many
> > years in the field, it appears you all needn
> > immediate psychiatric services.
>
>
> your just pissed because you are not getting $180
> a office visit for doing nothing but taking a
> blood pressure and spewing drugs that make the
> situation wors

A preposterous claim, as I attended school for many years, to help those with gastrointestinal health problems.
Do you know how many hours I put in during my residency period, or how I still have to keep abreast of new procedures and technologies? Would you like to manage an office staff, handle countless patients, paperwork, insurance plans?

I did not think so. Perhaps you need to make an appointment, because your obtuse commentary has no merit.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 04, 2014 01:51PM

Doc thanks for providing my point. Yes you might have quite an education, but how's your finger? You must be the life of the party at the snack table.

Can I get you a beer? No thanks doc, I will get it myself and avoid e coli

Unreal but I'm not surprised. All of you must go to the same school.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Zonk ()
Date: February 04, 2014 02:34PM

Some shits are great

Some shits are late

You strain your bum
That shit is dumb

Laying out a Christmas log
All because you eat like a hog

All around this great town
Watch out for the stinky brown

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: @chris core ()
Date: February 04, 2014 03:44PM

Does ad whore Chris Core do commercials for ass stuff?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: February 04, 2014 06:35PM

@chris core Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Does ad whore Chris Core do commercials for ass
> stuff?

Is explosive diarrhea a Core Value?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: mydesk ()
Date: February 05, 2014 04:52AM

.
Attachments:
desk.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 05, 2014 07:52AM

I wonder, does Obama Care have a provision for those of us with inferior bowels?

It would be great to have a crash team of specialists in my bathroom. Just to hear "we've got crowning" would be music to my ears, as I push to the best of my ability. Plus the support of nurses, "you can do this, breathe, you got this" would be so encouraging.

I think I will call the health care line.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: February 05, 2014 10:28AM

Does anyone know is Metamucil the best brand for IBS?

If so does it take a long time to work. Saw its $14 for can of powder.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mr Brown Underwear ()
Date: February 05, 2014 10:59AM

Miscavage Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Does anyone know is Metamucil the best brand for
> IBS?
>
> If so does it take a long time to work. Saw its
> $14 for can of powder.


I wish I could answer that, sitting balls deep in my shit filled Depends.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 05, 2014 01:10PM

I called Tyra Banks representative, good news, she will be on GMA soon discussing her courageous battle against IBS.

A small victory but another one against our betraying bowels.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Undies ()
Date: February 05, 2014 01:21PM

I've seen episodes of "The View" with more testosterone than here

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: February 05, 2014 04:22PM

Miscavage Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Does anyone know is Metamucil the best brand for
> IBS?
>
> If so does it take a long time to work. Saw its
> $14 for can of powder.

Go to the Vitamin Shoppe and get the store brand Psyllium powder, it is about half the price of Metamucil, with none of the useless added ingredients.

Mix it with OJ, its not too bad.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: February 05, 2014 04:55PM

Does it provide instant relief or time and lots of doses? My problem is huge bowel movements, due to days of constipation. I'm embarrassed by this, but sometimes I wipe, and later on I have to again. It's frustrating.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: February 05, 2014 05:03PM

Maybe you'd need a tablespoon twice a day, morning and night.

The powder is faster acting , 6 to 12 hours, but the husks, while taking a day or more, really empty you out.

I do both in quadruple doses, but only 2% of all humans have the severe constipation I suffer from, so your milage may vary, depends on how bad your condition is.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Roto Roooooter ()
Date: February 05, 2014 08:56PM

Don't listen to BEH. Fisting is free, fast, and an efficient way of cleaning the pipes.

John Fister signs with the Nationals, and your rump is backed up- I don't think so.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordosky ()
Date: February 06, 2014 06:01AM

Finally! I woke up last night and did not have diarrhea. Instead my stomach must have told my brain there was a problem. It landed in the toilet where it should. Today is going to be great.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: cszqaa ()
Date: February 06, 2014 06:05AM

Gordosky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Finally! I woke up last night and did not have
> diarrhea. Instead my stomach must have told my
> brain there was a problem. It landed in the toilet
> where it should. Today is going to be great.


the day always goes so much better with a proper dump first thing in the morning

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 06, 2014 07:31AM

I'm disappointed today, as I opened a letter from the President.

The White House, with lights of course, has been changed to pink and purple for health conditions.

Yet for the "Turn it brown for IBS", a complete denial. The letter came in as expected, a form letter with "we appreciate your dedication for a health condition, but at the time this will not be happening for a number of reasons."

I'm disappointed but in regards to a cure, my bowels are strapped in for the duration.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: February 06, 2014 10:50AM

Thanks BEH, I hope this improves things along with minimal side effects.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 06, 2014 11:25AM

Well after that one, I must profusely apologize to those in the next stall.

I'm sure they didn't appreciate the screams, shoes tapping on the floor repeatedly, along with that stench.

Yet my work in there is done, bring out the hazmat team, to delouse the area. Anyone got some caution tape?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 07, 2014 07:34AM

You must take care of your bowels, think of them as your lower brain.

Speaking of intellect, your colon controls your brain, not the other way around.

Therefore the phrase you are what you eat is true!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Qvr1 ()
Date: February 07, 2014 08:30AM

Is it possible to have ibs c and d?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: John J Fister ()
Date: February 07, 2014 08:56AM

Qvr1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is it possible to have ibs c and d?


Need a fist to borrow? That's your only choice!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 07, 2014 01:59PM

I sunk your stinky brown battleship!

That one hurt, and from the streaks on the bowl, henceforth that dump shall be named Nimitz.

It landed like the Gemini capsules, although without a parachute, splashing in the water.

Shut the bathroom down, it needs serious ventilation.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 08, 2014 07:11AM

I type relieved. Last night was like the scene from Star Wars "where millions of souls screamed."

That dropping of cargo was sweet relief. For those in a similar predicament, I introduce you to castor oil. It made this shit possible.

If your bowels are problematic, I'm happy to give this good marks.

High five after I wash my hands.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: February 08, 2014 10:38AM

I'm better. I got the allergy test for foods. Apparently food allergies can be triggered later on in life. Avoiding dairy products is going to be hard. Yet I hope for results. My doctor gave me some prescriptions, and suggested probiotics.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Cairbear ()
Date: February 08, 2014 03:58PM

I wont complain about diabetes anymore

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: February 08, 2014 08:16PM

Lots of good news from the bowel front.

Sadly, my story isn't so good.

I just couldn't bear trying to extrude the mass forming in my lower intestine.

It was hard, heavy, massive, and just stuck there, an immovible object, collecting mass every hour.

Worse yet, the slow digestion was causing terrific amounts of sulferic gas.

The gas was trapped behind the huge logjam , building up.

Finally , with no place left to go, the gas began filtering through the fecal impactation site , and drifting out of my rectum.

The odor was horrific, as if I was putrifying from the inside.

I had to go for the big guns for this one, the sure cure thats not without its risks.

Citrate of magnesia.

For those who haven't had the "pleasure" , Citrate of magnesia is that stuff that tastes like 7 Up, but liquifies everything in your intestines.

Nothing cleans you out better.

But even that process is agonizing.


I sat there shitting, on and off , for four hours.

The spillage was sensational, but at times it seemed it would never end.

Then came the soft tissue burning and chafing, plus the expected dehydration effects , dizzyness and fatigue. I almost passed out sitting there.


Well, a six hour nap and a gallon of Gatorade later, I'm refreshed , and my bowels have a pristine, sparkling feeling. But only after a full day of a violent purging of my colon.

And now, spoiling my celebration of relief, is the anticipation of the next awful logjam to infect my Schphinkter.

And there lies the rub. What do you choose, the disease or the cure?

Both are draining , punishing experiences. Both will shorten my life span, my will to live.

Those who mock our affliction, damn you, I hope to see you in the proctologists office in hell.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 09, 2014 11:47AM

BEH we have never met, but I sit here in tears, moved by your tale of woe.

May your next bowel movement be better. Lately it seems other than Gordo that we have entered a rough stretch. I'm still have some soreness from the fecal impaction but hope you feel better soon.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mr. M ()
Date: February 09, 2014 04:06PM

Ever heard of Metamucil?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: February 09, 2014 07:49PM

Mr. M Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ever heard of Metamucil?

Yes, in the same manner the residents of Hiroshima heard of sunblock.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 10, 2014 11:21AM

You would think after two hours of waiting to see the GI, you'd be treated with respect. Instead its the finger, icy demeanor, and a sore bottom.

I'm getting tired of this shit.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: February 10, 2014 12:21PM

Metamucil? If I drank that powder, my car seats would need much more then a steam cleaning.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 10, 2014 01:30PM

It's good to be home. I got some rest, and looked at my framed Bristol Stool Guides. They look good on the wall, but I had a dream because of today's experience with the GI.

In my dream he comes home, and he tells his wife "Don't believe my story that I've been at work, smell my finger then. If you think your day was shitty!"

It seems this dream, although still somewhat spiteful, has led to some empathy for my doctor today. A GI explaining his day at work, or what they do for a living, can't be easy.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Undies ()
Date: February 10, 2014 02:39PM

Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's good to be home. I got some rest, and looked
> at my framed Bristol Stool Guides. They look good
> on the wall, but I had a dream because of today's
> experience with the GI.
>
> In my dream he comes home, and he tells his wife
> "Don't believe my story that I've been at work,
> smell my finger then. If you think your day was
> shitty!"
>
> It seems this dream, although still somewhat
> spiteful, has led to some empathy for my doctor
> today. A GI explaining his day at work, or what
> they do for a living, can't be easy.


Stupid and delusional.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: February 10, 2014 04:32PM

Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's good to be home. I got some rest, and looked
> at my framed Bristol Stool Guides. They look good
> on the wall, but I had a dream because of today's
> experience with the GI.
>
> In my dream he comes home, and he tells his wife
> "Don't believe my story that I've been at work,
> smell my finger then. If you think your day was
> shitty!"
>
> It seems this dream, although still somewhat
> spiteful, has led to some empathy for my doctor
> today. A GI explaining his day at work, or what
> they do for a living, can't be easy.

Bloomy, I'd be a lot more sympathetic to my GI if he'd trim his nails and get rid of all those rings.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: vre33w ()
Date: February 11, 2014 04:40AM

>
> Bloomy, I'd be a lot more sympathetic to my GI if
> he'd trim his nails and get rid of all those
> rings.


ouch

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 11, 2014 09:18AM

Yes a manicure would help. Their idea of lube seems to be going in the cheapest possible direction.

Then there is that finger, which causes my starfish to go into passive resistance position.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc ()
Date: February 11, 2014 01:48PM

I see you are all being criticized, and I'm not surprised by obtuse blatherings, becoming fodder for those whom do not have IBS.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: unknownuser123 ()
Date: February 12, 2014 05:02AM

.
Attachments:
ibs2.jpg
ibs3.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: February 12, 2014 08:20AM

Doctor, up yours!

My poor starfish has suffered, as last night I somehow popped out a square into a triangle.

There was screaming, grabbing on to the bars I've recently had installed, and being curled into a fetal position after this event.

I hope my bottom recovers for the inevitable next battle of the bowels.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mr Brown Underwear ()
Date: February 12, 2014 09:23AM

Complain about that? Try walking in a adult diaper full of squash like shit all day asshole. You have nothing to complain about! Cry me a river want to trade

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