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Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 20, 2014 07:02AM

I would like to personally apologize to all of West Springfield.

That was not a wild animal you heard getting caught in a trap. Let's just say my intestines worked through a rather large load.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Red Underwear ()
Date: January 20, 2014 10:07AM

Okay I found it. It was an internal hemmeroid that caused bleeding. Thks guys!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Undies ()
Date: January 20, 2014 10:47AM

Why don't you fucksticks get a room, or in the Internet World, start a Facebook group?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 20, 2014 04:14PM

Mr. Undies, we have a forum, right here.

It's clearly named "Foods your bowels don't want".

If all this distresses you so, simply do not click on the thread.

See how easy that is? Problem solved!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: violoo ()
Date: January 21, 2014 04:47AM

Red Underwear Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Okay I found it. It was an internal hemmeroid that
> caused bleeding. Thks guys!


very common in about 90 percent of america. caused by the processed GMO foods disrupting our natural bowel functions

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 21, 2014 07:26AM

Exceptional point Vio. The foods that we eat whether GMO/ processed are not good for our bowels. Look at other nations, as the amount of bowel problems in the USA is a huge brown stain on the globe.

Part of it is our unhealthy gluttony type of habits. Yet a good portion of this is stress or diet related.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: violoo ()
Date: January 21, 2014 08:17AM

i have been eating nothing but organic vegan and things are getting better

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Some Ol' Wive's Tail ()
Date: January 21, 2014 03:08PM

You guys are really agonizing over this stuff far too long. Personally, I've dumped trusting the over-priced elitist medical community's "doctor's orders" and gone herbal (www.curezone.com) and feel a lot better (less bloated/congested, easier bowel movements, etc.).

Sticking with the bland toast diet sounds like the worst advice to me. I mean look at third world countries (India, China, Mexico, etc.) where they live forever and pump out babies left and right, work grueling laborous jobs their whole lives, all the while living in shantys - but they eat VERY spicy foods.

Personally, I think you all have a zoo living up your ass and you need to eat the spices to kill it off. I personally recommend the www.humaworm.com stuff. (Going on the raw food vegan diet for 6 weeks helped lots, too. Don't stay vegan, though, people need B-12 vitamin from meat and dairy. Just eat lighter, juicer foods exclusively until you get "better".)

Best of luck...

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 21, 2014 04:14PM

Bad advice, silly in fact.

You're talking out of your ass, you have no idea what this is all about.

The bad advice concerning lettuce, fisting and now worms adorn this thread.

And you can't even spell 'Tale' as in 'wives tale'.

No credibility whatsoever.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Some Ol' Wive's 'Tale' ()
Date: January 21, 2014 04:37PM

After reading your reply I got slightly miffed. Fortunately, my second dose of HumaCleanse colon cleaner kicked in and I had a refreshing bowel movement. I feel wonderful now! Constipation makes you a pain-in-the ass to deal with (can't even deal with a play on words). I know and I forgive you.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 22, 2014 04:43AM

Thank you for showing some human feeling.

You're right, I am difficult sometimes due to the feeling of a SUV parked in my colon.

Congratualations on your successful elimination. It must be nice.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: SHITHEAD ()
Date: January 22, 2014 04:48AM

BOWEL PROBLEMS? YOU GOTTA BE SHITTIN ME!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: violoo ()
Date: January 22, 2014 07:25AM

SHITHEAD Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BOWEL PROBLEMS? YOU GOTTA BE SHITTIN ME!


i base what kind of a day i am going to have my the size and amount of my movement.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 22, 2014 08:06AM

This thread needs to return to the "enchilada", in this case that involves foods and bowels. Items such as negative attitudes are not appreciated. The past couple of days, I've spent hours on the Groan Throne.

My ass to put it, frankly hurts like hell. There's been straining, coaxing, and sweating profusely for this elimination.

I think I dropped the anchors from an aircraft carrier, and this one was very bloody. Now to go get my commendation for getting shit done.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: January 22, 2014 08:21AM

Any of you tried green tea? What about colon cleaners, do they produce instant results?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: ghtedsd ()
Date: January 22, 2014 08:32AM

Miscavage Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Any of you tried green tea? What about colon
> cleaners, do they produce instant results?


magnesium citrate works wonders

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: alsothisyeah ()
Date: January 22, 2014 08:53AM


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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 22, 2014 11:42AM

I sit at my desk brewing. It's only a matter of time.

Any sanitation workers on here? I'm interested in learning what happens to the RV sized shit once flushed.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Bowel Mcdonnell ()
Date: January 22, 2014 11:57AM

I have heard stress can make your bowels shitty, wonder about the Guv

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: January 22, 2014 01:11PM

I just feel awful. It gets tiring. One minute I'm on the dance floor, one minute I've got a leak coming down my pants legs. I know now nachos and cheese no matter how good, just cannot be eaten. But for it to happen so fast in such dramatic means is unthinkable. I'm not sure if the food dancing or beer set off this.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 22, 2014 01:45PM

Gordo as tempting as beer and cheese is, those probably are not safe items to consume. Plus with dancing, who knows what did to your digestive system, and the final act.

Am I the only one with a nasty, fetid bathroom at work? I think a lot of my coworkers eat processed foods, because the aroma is not to my liking. It would be helpful to have a pen and paper attached to each stall, and have the guilty party write down what they eat, so to know for sure which is causing these nasty odors.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 22, 2014 06:51PM

My God, if I even look at a slice of Velveeta, my insides seize up like concrete.

I once consumed a few pieces of Laughing Cow, and it made me want an Arab to fly a commercial jet in my rectum, because it felt like the Twin Towers were up my ass.

To this day, every time I see that Laughing Cow logo, I feel the bovine is taunting me, amused at the prospect of turning my entire lower intestines into quick drying cement.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 23, 2014 07:59AM

I have three seat cushions on my desk chair this morning, and I frankly don't give a damn. My ass is tired, as it just went through an elimination process, that shook my internal plumbing to the core.

There was profuse sweating. I tried to get a damp cloth, hoping it was a false alarm. Sadly that was not the case, as soon as I sat down the screaming and digging my fingernails into the drywall began. My neighborhood must have heard this, and I hope there were no unexplained suspicious events due to my bowel maladies.

The log produced would have made Paul Bunyan proud. The midwife and her encouragement were greatly appreciated. The mantra of breathe, push, breathe, push" is in my head. I feel I should get an award for this stinky baby, and I had to borrow the fire departments fans for ventilating the area, as the stench was not just in the bathroom.

I am sore, hurting, but my spirit stands or well sits strong. Tonight its epsom bath time.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: fhjjghghh ()
Date: January 23, 2014 08:15AM

Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I just feel awful. It gets tiring. One minute I'm
> on the dance floor, one minute I've got a leak
> coming down my pants legs. I know now nachos and
> cheese no matter how good, just cannot be eaten.
> But for it to happen so fast in such dramatic
> means is unthinkable. I'm not sure if the food
> dancing or beer set off this.


beer is actually good for you

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 23, 2014 09:41AM

Beer is good for you? You are full of shit, there's no ifs, ands, or buts about such nonsense.

Beer and carbonated beverages are the worst drink for those with IBS.

Get your shit together, and please think before you type, because asses are on the line. The uninformed might suffer from either diarrhea or a turd the size of a Gemini capsule.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: oirrse ()
Date: January 23, 2014 09:50AM

Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Beer is good for you? You are full of shit,
> there's no ifs, ands, or buts about such
> nonsense.
>
> Beer and carbonated beverages are the worst drink
> for those with IBS.
>
> Get your shit together, and please think before
> you type, because asses are on the line. The
> uninformed might suffer from either diarrhea or a
> turd the size of a Gemini capsule.


beer is excellent for digestion. kiss my levi's tag
Attachments:
2-042-05a.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 23, 2014 10:22AM

Pictures are proof you don't know your head from your ass, and you should be thanking your lucky stars for stellar bowels. Many of us aren't blessed in such a way ,having our lives dictated by going places only if they have ample toilets and proper food choices.

If you had IBS those jeans could be brown, so please realize how fortunate you are.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: January 23, 2014 10:28AM

I guess he's never heard of beer shits. Idiot!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mr Brown Underwear ()
Date: January 23, 2014 11:09AM

Fuck you motherfucker! You can eat my ass! Take my diaper off enjoy shit from a man in his fucking 40s! You want chafing and wearin Depends eat shit you asshole!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 23, 2014 11:30AM

Gentlemen please for the love of our bowels, and support for each other whether on the throne or away from it, please do not let an obvious student stuck at home interrupt our foundation.

We have to pick our battles, keep our stress levels as low as possible, and gain bowel buddies to stand by us through shit and thin.

Brown I'm sorry you appear to be having a challenging day.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: hj66668 ()
Date: January 23, 2014 12:34PM

Why do some shits really smell bad?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 23, 2014 02:02PM

Some bowel movements do have more of an odor. A lot of this is due to how your stomach acids break down foods, along with what's in your diet. Fiber or a lack therof can be a part of the equation, but processed foods are the worst.

Also the "grub" you get from fast food places, can batter away at your bowels like a jackhammer. Try to drink lots of water for mucous production, and fruits/veggies. This should diminish such odors, and emails at work bringing this up will boost morale and output.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: January 24, 2014 08:05AM

After warming up my vehicle, I finally arrived at work. It appears no documents will be processed, but rather another day with Human Resources. My coworkers are not good people.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: jhgrt ()
Date: January 24, 2014 08:29AM

Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> After warming up my vehicle, I finally arrived at
> work. It appears no documents will be processed,
> but rather another day with Human Resources. My
> coworkers are not good people.


maybe the explosive diarrhea you blew all over them has something to do with it

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 24, 2014 08:42AM

Gordo I am sorry you have to deal with such negativity at work. As if getting through this snow wasn't difficult enough, it seems you have more shit to contend with, which isn't healthy, plus obnoxious comments like those above who don't suffer in our shoes.

Virginia is a right to work state, so be careful with HR Gordo. Do you have anything documented by a doctor, because I'm suree Americans with Disabilities Act provides some degree of protection.

I wish you success and also #4 #2s. This mornini g I had a wonderful defecation, and feel especially charged up.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: January 24, 2014 10:02AM

I just got out of meetings with Human Resources. They agree that whoever is putting dead flies on my desk, is guilty of harassment in the work place. I hope they are caught, because I'd like to focus on my work assignments.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Undies ()
Date: January 24, 2014 10:44AM

You guys are still moaning and pissy about this! Go take medicine and fuck off!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 24, 2014 12:10PM

Undies have a warm cup of shut the fuck up. 10% of us experience this shit. May your bowels go thru this

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Detox the Colon ()
Date: January 24, 2014 01:09PM

I'm not sure if IBS is real or not, but Colon Cleanse helps me.

It tastes nasty, but cleans me out. Two or three times a year, worth every cent.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Realist61 ()
Date: January 24, 2014 01:38PM

Baloney, colon cleaners aren't even proven to work. Check the FDA disclosure. All are shams.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 24, 2014 02:37PM

I'm not going to slam digestive products, but my personal opinion, is that they are placebos or in some cases, could be the snake oil sold from the era of "amazing potions." For those of us with IBS, they don't help. They don't hurt either I believe, so its up to a personal choice.

My two strategies are diet and decreased stress. Easily said but not an easy task. Giving up on a lot of foods has diminished my number of flare ups. Plus the leakage decrease says I'm on the right path. A cure would be great, and while its okay to hope for that, you've got to help your bowels with what is available.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Rockhound ()
Date: January 24, 2014 06:54PM

STICK IT TO THE SPAMBOT

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 25, 2014 08:07AM

I'm not sure what a spambot is, but it might be what I dropped this morning. It was a relief, and I think five pounds are gone.

Just a heads up as I'm checking, verifying this information, but Dr Oz might have a show about IBS next week. Be sure to get your brown colored remotes ready.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc ()
Date: January 25, 2014 11:33AM

Dr Oz episodes are like watching a car salesman performing open heart surgery. The best advice is to immediately book an appointment with a GI.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 26, 2014 09:35AM

Sitting in the comforts of my house, without a finger up my ass with a bill to pay, kiss my ass doctor. You can use your sadistic machinery on some other poor sods ass instead.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Capt Obvioussss ()
Date: January 26, 2014 11:32AM

Shittiest thread.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: January 26, 2014 12:04PM

It couldn't be avoided. Tomorrow I'm staying away from work. Those Klondike bars are good and bad.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 26, 2014 07:09PM

Damn Gordorsky, I'm crazy about Klondike Bars too.

However, one of those will stop my bowels like a ship stuck in the frozen Artic Sea.

I wonder how thickened Milk of Magnesia would taste in place of the vanilla ice cream in a Klondike bar?

For me, that would be a win/win.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: mylittle experiance ()
Date: January 27, 2014 07:58AM

i always try to take a dump before heading out to work but this morning nothing was happening. Lo and behold was not on the way 20 min when the wave hit with the urgency of a freight train. Hit a 7-11 and of course some gresey mexican was in the mens room but alas the ladies was empty. any port in a storm...

the storm was far from comfortable and there was blood splatter everywhere. did the best i could to clean up but there was just so much. peeked out the door and luck would have it no one was nearby. slithered out and wandered to the door when i heard a shriek and a scream about murder. while attempting to back out of the parking lot 2 police cars came flying in with lights a flashing.

hope they don't have video's i do not want my picture on the news

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: January 27, 2014 10:54AM

Milk of magnesia klondikes is a great idea. There would be no to minimum suffering. What would take place for the chocolate part? I don't think my car needs yet another steam cleaning.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Food Popo ()
Date: January 27, 2014 11:34AM

It's obvious you are just trying to change what we eat. Is Michelle Obama sponsoring this bullshit?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mr Brown Underwear ()
Date: January 27, 2014 11:44AM

Fuck you there is no food police except for us. Eat what you want asshole! You don't have an adult diaper full of feces!

What are you thinking Gordorsky? When you eat shit that's the result! Stop eating those foods!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Food Popo ()
Date: January 27, 2014 01:49PM

Just like banning certain guns for "our safety", next will be food.

Bloomberg already banned sodas by size, Obama is working on it. This is a ruse a lie.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 27, 2014 04:26PM

I'm out of the hospital, with a sore ass and a bill for this enroute.

Later tonight, after some rest, I will prove to you this is not about food fights.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 27, 2014 07:44PM

Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Milk of magnesia klondikes is a great idea. There
> would be no to minimum suffering. What would take
> place for the chocolate part? I don't think my car
> needs yet another steam cleaning.

Chocolate X Lax surrounding creamy frozen milk of magnesia.

It really does sound good.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Tough One ()
Date: January 27, 2014 08:13PM

Food Popo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's obvious you are just trying to change what we
> eat. Is Michelle Obama sponsoring this bullshit?


Start from the beginning, hang yourself upside down from the ceiling, and after that "choke yourself" with Gunnery Sgt Hartman from Full Metal Jacket.

At first I was calling bullshit on this, but if anyone has these types of symptoms, I support them. I have nothing to bitch about, and will try to lend a hand. Well, you know, at least show my support.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: lend a hand ()
Date: January 27, 2014 08:16PM

Tough One Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have nothing to bitch about, and will try
> to lend a hand.

beh keeps asking for handjobs, lend a hand man

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 28, 2014 03:21AM

Please, I've had enough of masculine , jewelry adorned, badly manicured doctors hands to last a lifetime.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 28, 2014 07:31AM

To all whom are complaining, digest this before judging what this thread is about.

I am recovering from fecal impaction. That's right my shit got stuck. It was and is painful, so please realize we are just here to assure each other. Eat what you want, and be grateful your bowels get excellent reliability ratings from Consumer Reports.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: ghtedsd ()
Date: January 28, 2014 08:19AM

Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> To all whom are complaining, digest this before
> judging what this thread is about.
>
> I am recovering from fecal impaction. That's right
> my shit got stuck. It was and is painful, so
> please realize we are just here to assure each
> other. Eat what you want, and be grateful your
> bowels get excellent reliability ratings from
> Consumer Reports.

i had that once. was not a nice experiance

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Food Popo ()
Date: January 28, 2014 08:29AM

Playing the sympathy card.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: January 28, 2014 08:31AM

This morning I went into work, and some mean coworkers put underwear on my computer. Ones cubicle is private space and I'm going to Human Resources again. If only my bowels leaking were the only problem. Now add this on top of it.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Undies ()
Date: January 28, 2014 08:51AM

Is this Menstrual Women volume 3?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: gewec ()
Date: January 28, 2014 09:09AM

Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This morning I went into work, and some mean
> coworkers put underwear on my computer. Ones
> cubicle is private space and I'm going to Human
> Resources again. If only my bowels leaking were
> the only problem. Now add this on top of it.


for as much as you complain they need to fire you

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: January 28, 2014 09:54AM

If you had dead flies on your desk you would complain. Like Mr Poopy Pants stickers, or underwear with brown paint on your work station? Air fresheners? I work hard on my plastic covered seat. In fact despite having bowel problems, I am among the most productive employees. Imagine if my bowels could be fixed.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 28, 2014 11:13AM

Gordo keep doing what you are, who are your coworkers to judge if you have shit stained seats, or are in the bathroom frequently. What matters is what you said, results.

These devils should be ashamed to breathe the same air, as they are lucky to have a brown warrior showing perseverance.

Keep fighting on Gordo, our asses are on the line with you.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Food Popo ()
Date: January 28, 2014 11:52AM

It's easy stupids and simpletons, stop eating junk food!

Stop campaigns for healthy choices politically. Just shut up and do it. An apple a day is easy, duh.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: this is a sham ()
Date: January 28, 2014 11:55AM

Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Gordo keep doing what you are, who are your
> coworkers to judge if you have shit stained seats,
> or are in the bathroom frequently. What matters
> is what you said, results.
>
> These devils should be ashamed to breathe the same
> air, as they are lucky to have a brown warrior
> showing perseverance.
>
> Keep fighting on Gordo, our asses are on the line
> with you.


who can take you fuckers seriously when you say "shit stained seats" and "brown warrior" and the numerous things you guys post. its over the top. and then you get mad when someone pokes fun! you're a buncha shitty arses!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: @sham agree ()
Date: January 28, 2014 12:11PM

All this is mentally unbalanced people. I'm tired of each day seeing this thread.
Attachments:
2014-01-28-12-08-52-1617563526.jpeg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: trashman ()
Date: January 28, 2014 12:18PM

blooming onion definitions on Urban dictionary:

Placing one's fist into another's rectum (also known as fisting) and then proceeding to fanning open the hand and fingers, creating a blooming onion-like appearance. (76 upvotes)

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Blooming%20Onion

why would someone who alleges they have ibs use such a name?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 28, 2014 12:25PM

I would like to thank you all for proving my point. Those of us with IBS are todays lepers, or at a minimum second class citizens.

Bowels aren't just important to those of us who fight abdominal pains and basketball sized shits on a regular basis. Bowels are the very essence of our being. The colon controls our brains, not the other way around.

You all need to stop showing your true colors, which are far from brown. As for my user name again, common sense prevails. Fisting is disgusting. Why punish ones rectum, especially one that's in fine working order. Blooming Onion is for that plant and others, that I personally grow to reduce my IBS flare ups. You need to grow up

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: cut the crap ()
Date: January 28, 2014 12:28PM

Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I would like to thank you all for proving my
> point. Those of us with IBS are todays lepers, or
> at a minimum second class citizens.
>
> Bowels aren't just important to those of us who
> fight abdominal pains and basketball sized shits
> on a regular basis. Bowels are the very essence of
> our being. The colon controls our brains, not the
> other way around.
>
> You all need to stop showing your true colors,
> which are far from brown. As for my user name
> again, common sense prevails. Fisting is
> disgusting. Why punish ones rectum, especially one
> that's in fine working order. Blooming Onion is
> for that plant and others, that I personally grow
> to reduce my IBS flare ups. You need to grow up


you have been exposed for the fraud that you are

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 28, 2014 12:32PM

That's your opinion but I've been an IBS advocate for fifteen years. What have you done that has been productive?

You can ignore the information I have provided, but you do so at considerable risk to your entire digestive system.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mister Poopy Pants ()
Date: January 28, 2014 12:49PM

Why not pm each other? Keep this junk to yourselves. Do you see cardiac patients on here?

The answer is : NO!!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: January 28, 2014 12:58PM

Dry roasted peanuts. They come out like shards of glass, and my hemorrhoid became even larger and oozed more.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Food Popo ()
Date: January 28, 2014 01:07PM

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dry roasted peanuts. They come out like shards of
> glass, and my hemorrhoid became even larger and
> oozed more.


You all are gross.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: eesh ()
Date: January 28, 2014 01:34PM

I was thinking about taking one of my blackhead extractors and using it to drain the hemorrhoid. It feels like a little grape dangling from my bunghole. At night it likes to ooze out this watery blood and it makes me itch.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: January 28, 2014 02:09PM

I have bowel issues and don't like how this thread has turned

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Daftpunker ()
Date: January 28, 2014 04:56PM

Dumbest thread of Underground all time, worse then Meade Brett Davenport garbage

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Doctor Reck Tom ()
Date: January 28, 2014 04:59PM

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was thinking about taking one of my blackhead
> extractors and using it to drain the hemorrhoid.
> It feels like a little grape dangling from my
> bunghole. At night it likes to ooze out this
> watery blood and it makes me itch.


That is not a hemorrhoid. That is a bad case of gonorrhea. In future, you should choose your sexual partners more carefully. Trust me, I'm a Doctor.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 28, 2014 08:27PM

eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was thinking about taking one of my blackhead
> extractors and using it to drain the hemorrhoid.
> It feels like a little grape dangling from my
> bunghole. At night it likes to ooze out this
> watery blood and it makes me itch.

Eesh, if it oozes, its not a run of the mill hemorrhoid.

If you've got ooze, then something is festering. If something is festering , and there is puss, with bloody discharge , there is also tissue damage.

If there is tissue damage , especially in the warm , moist, fecal smeared rectal area ,the infection can spread into the bloodstream.

I'd like to recommend my specialist, but quite frankly he's rather insensitive and inefective.

In any event , seek a physician when anything other than feces cascades from your can.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: trrrww ()
Date: January 29, 2014 07:25AM

@sham agree Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> All this is mentally unbalanced people. I'm tired
> of each day seeing this thread.


i sort of enjoy this thread

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 29, 2014 08:19AM

Thanks as the only unbalance is our bowels, and a diet can be as well.

I would like to post more,but am still recovering. The brown flag is up in spirit though, united we groan and scream together united.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: gewec ()
Date: January 29, 2014 08:23AM

.
Attachments:
murder.jpg

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mr Brown Underwear ()
Date: January 29, 2014 10:02AM

A hemorrhoid doesn't require a doctor's visit. Come on and if its uncomfortable there's Prep H. You don't need to see a doc for that!

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: not a hemioriod ()
Date: January 29, 2014 10:07AM

Mr Brown Underwear Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> A hemorrhoid doesn't require a doctor's visit.
> Come on and if its uncomfortable there's Prep H.
> You don't need to see a doc for that!


that is not a hemorrhoid, that derp got da herp

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: January 29, 2014 10:29AM

What's a derp?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Eli 2 lazy 2 sign in ()
Date: January 29, 2014 10:30AM

Miscavage Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What's a derp?


It's what I call Eesh.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 29, 2014 10:42AM

Folks you are all over the place, let's keep our focus on our bowels, and foods along with stimuli that cause them to be against us. This thread is supposed to be about the 10% of us, that have temperamental bowels, uniting under the brown banner as a sign of unity.

There is no IBS Foundation "Pound the Brown", or any others willing to work on our behalf/backsides.

The closest we have to visible support is the brown uniforms and trucks of UPS.

Please continue to support each other, and let's make allies in the battle of the bowels.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: January 29, 2014 12:04PM

Finally. Two coworkers got two days off without pay. Human Resources did a great job. I feel much better.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Johnny Rockets ()
Date: January 29, 2014 01:29PM

Blubber butt glaze stinks. I'm not sure what my condition is, but I get a glaze quite often in my underwear. Also if I take a dump in the morning, later on shit will still be able to be wiped. Most of the time it doesn't go on my underwear but sometimes it does. Is this IBS or something else, should I drink proto or something?

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: gewey ()
Date: January 29, 2014 02:20PM

Johnny Rockets Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Blubber butt glaze stinks. I'm not sure what my
> condition is, but I get a glaze quite often in my
> underwear. Also if I take a dump in the morning,
> later on shit will still be able to be wiped. Most
> of the time it doesn't go on my underwear but
> sometimes it does. Is this IBS or something else,
> should I drink proto or something?


Sounds nasty. Shit fill boxers

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 29, 2014 04:41PM

Mr. Rockets, get some pre moistened towelettes, you'll never get clean with regular toilet paper.

Of course nothing beats a shower, which I usually do, because one tends to get a little tender and chafed trying to pass the kind of cinderblocks that torment my schphinkter.

In a pinch, i'll wet some paper towels and scrub down with those.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Johnny Rockets ()
Date: January 29, 2014 04:53PM

Thanks BEH.

The past year this started, I'm in my mid thirties.

Do you think the idea of two Immodium ADs at night, with a glass of metamucil each morning could help?

Not sure if you have heard of vsl3.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 29, 2014 05:02PM

I do pure psylium husk , a quadruple dose, and on the days I can force it down, I can ususally negotiate a dump that won't be painful as chilbirth.

Immodium and stuff like Milk of Magnesia are only temporary fixes, and you'll soon become immune.

I've not heard of vsl3, please inform the board.

I'd try anything that would prevent more clawmarks on the bathroom wall.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 30, 2014 07:45AM

I've been reading, and after my release from the hospital, I was looking for a glimmer of hope.

Gordo has provided this. What company do you work for? Usually HR treats those of us with IBS as the undesirables caste. For once just once the bowel brothers in brown win one for the team.

Way to go Gordo! I sit here in pain at home, and physically am not in the best shape. However you have cheered me up this morning.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: IBS is a commitment ()
Date: January 30, 2014 08:00AM

Whoever named IBS is a bastard. It is not a name that can be taken seriously unless you are victim to the bowels confliction. Irritable bowel syndrome. It sounds funny. We are doomed to ridicule because of irresponsible name makers.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 30, 2014 10:11AM

The abdominal pains, gas, bloating, shits the size of Cadillacs from the 70s, the omnipotent desire to always be close to a toilet, the food restrictions, whomever named this was an asshole.

Feel comfort knowing you have others here with it, perhaps we should come up with a new name for it.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Johnny Rockets ()
Date: January 30, 2014 11:37AM

Thanks for the help going to check CVS for those wipes.

VSL3 is a probiotic that adds good bacteria.

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Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Undies ()
Date: January 30, 2014 11:54AM

Bunch of balless bitches

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