HomeFairfax General ForumArrest/Ticket SearchWiki newPictures/VideosChatArticlesLinksAbout
Off-Topic :  Fairfax Underground fairfax underground logo
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Pages: Previous1234567891011...LastNext
Current Page: 5 of 146
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Undies ()
Date: January 08, 2014 01:24PM

Eat shit asshole!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 08, 2014 01:33PM

Chronic Constipation Myth: Chronic constipation does not affect that many people.

The Truth:Chronic constipation is a serious issue, affecting 15% to 20% of the U.S. population.

Chronic Constipation Myth : If you eat right, exercise, and drink plenty of fluids, you should never suffer from chronic constipation.

The Truth: Sometimes psychological issues trigger chronic constipation. For instance, childhood sexual or physical abuse -- or the loss of a parent through divorce, separation or death -- may contribute to adult chronic constipation. Constipation often coexists with depression. Chronic constipation can also be caused by an underlying medical condition such as low thyroid hormone levels.

Chronic Constipation: What Causes It?
After eating, food moves through your digestive tract. The intestines take water and nutrients from the food. Normally, the process continues until a stool is formed. Squeezing contractions in the intestine then pass the stool out of the body.

Because constipation is often linked with hard stools, one theory is that too much water is absorbed from the stool, leaving it dry and hard. Another theory is that abnormal hormonal responses to the ingested water may trigger chronic constipation. More research is necessary to better understand how constipation happens and to unravel the mysterious link between the gut, hormones, and the brain.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Red Underwear ()
Date: January 08, 2014 01:34PM

Why do you think this is the OT forum?

Switch channels, go to the GF please.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Red Underwear ()
Date: January 08, 2014 01:35PM

That was directed at black undies btw.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Question for BEH ()
Date: January 08, 2014 01:39PM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Chronic Constipation Myth: Chronic constipation
> does not affect that many people.
>
> The Truth:Chronic constipation is a serious issue,
> affecting 15% to 20% of the U.S. population.
>
> Chronic Constipation Myth : If you eat right,
> exercise, and drink plenty of fluids, you should
> never suffer from chronic constipation.
>
> The Truth: Sometimes psychological issues trigger
> chronic constipation. For instance, childhood
> sexual or physical abuse -- or the loss of a
> parent through divorce, separation or death -- may
> contribute to adult chronic constipation.
> Constipation often coexists with depression.
> Chronic constipation can also be caused by an
> underlying medical condition such as low thyroid
> hormone levels.
>
> Chronic Constipation: What Causes It?
> After eating, food moves through your digestive
> tract. The intestines take water and nutrients
> from the food. Normally, the process continues
> until a stool is formed. Squeezing contractions in
> the intestine then pass the stool out of the
> body.
>
> Because constipation is often linked with hard
> stools, one theory is that too much water is
> absorbed from the stool, leaving it dry and hard.
> Another theory is that abnormal hormonal responses
> to the ingested water may trigger chronic
> constipation. More research is necessary to better
> understand how constipation happens and to unravel
> the mysterious link between the gut, hormones, and
> the brain.


BEH aka mr. poopy pants aka cat scat fever is this nice big block of text your work, dawg?

http://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/features/chronic-constipation-facts-vs-myths?page=2

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 08, 2014 02:37PM

Merely sharing information with my fellow IBS sufferers, I would not expect you to understand our grief.

Go ahead, mock and sneer, we're used to it.

If we were in wheelchairs, we'd have ramps built for us, if we had cancer, hushed whispers of ecouragement and sympathy. If we were blind, people would help us across the street, if crippled, helpful arms held out from all directions.

But to the anally infirm , any hopes of kindness are quickly drowned out by catcalls and taunts. Adolescent playground type mocking prevails. Even our own doctors are disgusted by our colonic curse.

This thread is dedicated to those who otherwise would have no support, no shoulder to lean on, no humane comfort of any kind.

You have invaded our solitude of comfort in the same way our physicians callously
invade our rectums; bad manicures, huge high school rings, flexiband watches.

But we prevail. We try every remedy known to man. We share information.

But most of all we share pain and humiliation. Don't forget, a problem shared is a problem halved.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 09, 2014 07:17AM

Well stated, and we must unite, and stand firmly in our brown shirts holding up signs of the Bristol Stool Guide and such.

I'm sorry if not in a fighting mood today, others hopefully will make up the slack until I recover.

Right now I'm in triage, an injured soldier, as the bowel movement I had tore my insides out. I'm home today, with some ice, pain killers, and television to distraction me from how much my rectal areas hurt.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 09, 2014 11:16AM

A bit better, although my exit hole, still seems to be producing "Butt Butter." It's a clear discharge that ends up on my briefs , so I'm guessing this is just leftover mucous.

I was able and still am holding down some toast and water. Water is a catch 22, because it can lead to bowel movements of immense size and fury.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavige ()
Date: January 09, 2014 12:29PM

I feel better not alone. What foods to avoid I just don't know

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 09, 2014 12:38PM

Miscavige Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I feel better not alone. What foods to avoid I
> just don't know


It's trial and error, except the errors are very messy in many cases.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc ()
Date: January 09, 2014 03:14PM

I see these write ups continue, along with a decline in both intelligence and maturity.

You need to schedule an appointment for blood tests and meet with a GI.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 09, 2014 03:18PM

Hey Doc, I just had an enema and found your Rolex.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mr. Poopy Pants ()
Date: January 09, 2014 03:28PM

Perhaps this is what you'd really like to see...
Attachments:
gross5sa4d555s54.jpg

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 10, 2014 07:10AM

Not exactly a picture to start the day off, as I sit here with toast plain ,along with two glasses of water, apples.

I would love to have a bowel movement like that, semi soft compared to the bowling balls I've been dropping as of late.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Dexter Morgan ()
Date: January 10, 2014 07:16AM

That's disgusting. But gives me an idea.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 10, 2014 07:37AM

That IS a wonderful bowel movement!

I am so envious.

In the meantime, laxatives and enemas be dammned, there is a massive build up occurring in my colon. It is hopelessly blocked.

How do you expell a stool the size of a cinderblock?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 10, 2014 08:59AM

Think positive BEH. I'm much happier this morning, and my intestines and rectum might put me back on their Christmas card list, with brown thank yous written down.

Have you tried green tea? I have a feeling this, eating slower and smaller meals, along with cutting out stress just might have helped. I got a delightful #4 #2 this morning. There was no extra wiping either, just a centerfold material crap for IBS people especially.

I feel bad I didn't take a photo before flushing, but I hope sewage employees are amazed by its shape and colors.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 10, 2014 09:13AM

I'm willing to try anything Bloomy.

Off to Costco for a case of green tea.

Whatever I can't consume, I'll add to the enema water.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: January 10, 2014 09:38AM

Good morning, so far okay today, although last night's diarrhea was a unexpected surprise. I took a lady from work out to dinner. It was okay, we had a good time,although I was sweating at the table. I was glad to drop her off at her house, no woman should be around that. My bathroom stinks.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Red Underwear ()
Date: January 10, 2014 10:28AM

Do you guys with the larger poops, also find blood stains on your toilet paper after wiping?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 10, 2014 10:41AM

Thats a good question Red.

Actually it's not just the size that matters.

Often a huge movement, if it is soft enough (like Milwaulkee frozen custard for example) passes through with no distress.

But when stools are dry , even small ones cause discomfort.

When they are dry and large, the results can be catastrophic.

Imagine trying to expell a Honda Accord. Imagine if you can , the pain involved.

And yes sir, there will be blood.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Red Underwear ()
Date: January 10, 2014 10:56AM

Thanks. It does hurt and most happens with large ones with misshapen ones or with what I call pebbles. These ones are a pain.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 10, 2014 11:31AM

Yes Red, I also have problems with the rabbit pellets, and also the small mini cigar shaped ones that come out red hot.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Rockhound ()
Date: January 10, 2014 11:36AM

Sometimes, after a good workout, I take a crap so big and long it just hangs out over the water. I've had major size ones recently.. Like over a foot.

Of course I get up, check out my work and feel proud but damn this is getting ridiculous. Sometimes, it's hard to flush. I've even broken it up with a plunger before... Not fun.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 10, 2014 11:39AM

RoHo, that doesn't sound like a problem to me.

If a genie appeared with three wishes to grant, my first one would be a comfortable bowel movement like yours.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 10, 2014 12:03PM

Rockhound, BEH is correct. Obviously unless you invite me to your stall, that would be the best chance, discern if you have had a #4 #2. A picture could help, although my Bristol Stool Guide cards would be less of a resource.

I do think you had a solid elimination. Take a bow, for a job well done, and if not too much I'd be curious about your diet. Those long stinky sausages are the perfect bowel movement.

Red Underwear, yes the screwed up bms can create bleeding. It shouldn't last long though.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: January 10, 2014 12:34PM

Well I'm back from human resources. Some jerks left toilet paper rolls on my desk with a Lysol bottle. This does not help. I've had enough. Hoping they find out who did this.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 10, 2014 01:20PM

Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well I'm back from human resources. Some jerks
> left toilet paper rolls on my desk with a Lysol
> bottle. This does not help. I've had enough.
> Hoping they find out who did this.


Gordo who do you work for? Your coworkers are assholes. I'm going to put on my brown shirt in support of you. Do you have an idea who it is?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Undies ()
Date: January 10, 2014 01:26PM

You are still up to this bullshit?

You remind me of a bunch of old bitchy post menopause women at a book club. Bunch of crying, whiny bitches!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Rockhound ()
Date: January 10, 2014 01:29PM

Black Undies Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You are still up to this bullshit?
>
> You remind me of a bunch of old bitchy post
> menopause women at a book club. Bunch of crying,
> whiny bitches!


Well, you took the time to post. Hopefully, one day you will experience bowel issues and you will likely think back and remember this post, fucker.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Undies ()
Date: January 10, 2014 01:32PM

Even if I do, I wouldn't spend months pissing and moaning for months about it in public. Bunch of cry babies. Do you get the senior discount?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 10, 2014 02:20PM

Thank you Mr Black. You have proved exactly what IBS folks have been contending with for years. If it was our heart or lungs, you would be understanding, if not sympathetic to what each and everyone of us goes through daily. This isn't the occasional migraine and IBS affects all age groups.

One day your bowels will betray you. You'll probably think "oh its just something I ate, or I caught a stomach bug." That will soon be in doubt as your rear end will hurt, you'll be lying down on a table with a doctor who has meaty fingers. Then and only then will your complaints be valid. Rocking the brown.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: January 10, 2014 03:27PM

Onion I do not want to put my company name here. Yet spaseba for your support. I hope they find out who is doing this. I think the laughter in the bathroom was related to my health conditions

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 10, 2014 03:28PM

I hope Mr. Black shits out A Subaru.

What an insensitive douche.

Fuck him and his pristine schphinkter.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deadly combo ()
Date: January 10, 2014 04:39PM

Don't know if this technically is on-topic or not, since my bowels weren't in any sort of distress; however...

Had a baconator for lunch over the holidays, followed by KFC original recipe for dinner 4-5 hours afterward. Later that evening the stench emanating from the bowl and during evacuation was horrific. I intend to try to duplicate this offending odor at some point in the near future to see if that particular combination was indeed the cause.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 11, 2014 08:13AM

That's very on topic, and I'm impressed by your having the courage, the werewithal to try it again. When I was a young man, a book called "Black Like Me", helped to understand what our neighbors with dark skin complexion were dealing with. The author was a white man who used make up to be black.

You could write a book, or even pen a short story called "Brown Like Me." It would help those of us, the millions with bowels of inferior quality, feel better about ourselves. Thank you for sharing your experience, and for the record I don't think my bowels would handle said meal so well.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Undies ()
Date: January 11, 2014 10:17AM

Bunch of menopause women

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Deuce Dropaload ()
Date: January 11, 2014 02:59PM

Looking up where shitting became taking a deuce. No logical explanation

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: wrongg ()
Date: January 11, 2014 05:33PM

drop a duece. going number 2 hence duece.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: This Thread is.... ()
Date: January 12, 2014 12:14PM

SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 13, 2014 07:05AM

I had to call out of work today. It's an odd experience, not calling out, but I now have the fecal reversal of sorts.

It's not pleasant to be on this side of the Bristol Stool Guide either. Diarrhea is by no means a walk in the park.

Dehydration is my biggest concern.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: willy the pooh ()
Date: January 13, 2014 07:10AM

i keep having these horrible smelly farts. the hot ones that linger. then my dog farted, now our farts are dancing in the humid air and its making my stomach turn. which is now making me have to go pooh.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 13, 2014 07:38AM

Well, after days of prodding, pleading, pushing and pampering, the bog that was created in my colon has finally passed itself.

But not without a blood sacrifice.

Again , my intestines asked my ass to perform above and beyond the call of duty.

The snakes jaws can disengage , so that the serpent can swallow an object bigger than itself, but my schphinkter has no such design.

Instead , my ass is called upon to stretch and contort itself to un human like proportions.

This is not done without considerable pain.

The turd itself was gargantuan. Dry as a cinderblock, and just as big.

Today, I'm having my psylium with prune juice. Milk of magnesia and cookies.


If my rectum has to expell another jumbo stool anytime soon, it just may never recover.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 13, 2014 08:36AM

Beh sorry for that, but it sounds like you have things handled, the best that you can. It sounds as if you have a FEMA like "go kit" of supplies for your bowels. That is wise, because its all about being prepared, even for Brown and red contingencies. I wish more Homeland Security FAQ and videos focused on our digestive concerns. For instance in a national emergency, what do you have ready for IBS sufferers. It's a confirmed medical issue.

Today its a lot of bland and water, along with focusing on the Bristol Stool Guide for motivation. I am not missing the large asteroid sized craps, like you just went through, but something solid would be solid indeed.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Red Underwear ()
Date: January 13, 2014 11:55AM

Is that what causes the bleeding for you? Does a mirror prove its your spinkter or is it a roid? Last night I took one of the biggest shits ever. While wiping it was messy plus bloody. I took a hot shower but felt in the crevice area maybe inflamed tissues? I'm not sure though please help if you have had this.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Red Underwear ()
Date: January 13, 2014 11:55AM

Is that what causes the bleeding for you? Does a mirror prove its your spinkter or is it a roid? Last night I took one of the biggest shits ever. While wiping it was messy plus bloody. I took a hot shower but felt in the crevice area maybe inflamed tissues? I'm not sure though please help if you have had this.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Red Underwear ()
Date: January 13, 2014 11:55AM

Is that what causes the bleeding for you? Does a mirror prove its your spinkter or is it a roid? Last night I took one of the biggest shits ever. While wiping it was messy plus bloody. I took a hot shower but felt in the crevice area maybe inflamed tissues? I'm not sure though please help if you have had this.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Red Underwear ()
Date: January 13, 2014 11:55AM

Is that what causes the bleeding for you? Does a mirror prove its your spinkter or is it a roid? Last night I took one of the biggest shits ever. While wiping it was messy plus bloody. I took a hot shower but felt in the crevice area maybe inflamed tissues? I'm not sure though please help if you have had this.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 13, 2014 12:13PM

Good news Red, you probably just sustained a benign rectal tissue injury.

They heal fast.

Of course, if you have a history of such occurances, you might have developed a hemmoroid or two, and yes, they can bleed a bit.

But again, with proper treatment (rest, sitz baths) they heal quickly too.

Hopefully your condition isn't chronic.

If it is, have your general practitioner refer you to a proctologist.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 13, 2014 12:45PM

I think that's sound advice red underwear.

There's not much more I can add, other then hemorrhoids can be internal or external. If the tissue doesn't recede, Tucks pads will help.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mr Brown Underwear ()
Date: January 13, 2014 01:21PM

If that's all you have to complain about, I will trade you these brown and yellow undergarments asshole. This is about bowels, not a couple of anal veins! Sit in your own shit and then you have a place here. Sick of whining. Big deal two three days your problem clears.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 13, 2014 01:36PM

Brown, we need all the allies we can get. Just because he has rectal tissue problems, doesn't give you, me or anyone else the right to chastise.

When I'm more hydrated I will put on a red and brown shirt, to show unity with all whom have subpar bowels.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 13, 2014 02:34PM

Don't be so quick to judge Red, Mr. Brown.

For his sake I hope he is not afflicted with this curse, but bleeding is often the first sign of more calamities to come.

Red, please feel free to vist anytime and share your rectal experiences.

We're here if you need us, which I pray you don't.

Mr. Brown, I fully understand your frustration.

We're here especially for you.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: January 13, 2014 03:29PM

As if plastic covers in my car are not bad enough. My coworkers put this over my seat, desk with brown paint. They are idiots, and human resources is investigating this as harassing behavior.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 14, 2014 07:11AM

Gordo, I wish you success. I'm trying to participate but day #2 of this non stop diarrhea isn't helping.

Drinking lots of water and eating a bland diet, wish me luck getting back to solid ground.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: January 14, 2014 08:57AM

One thing has me curios. Someone posted intestines are thirty feet long. I don't get how they can be this long. For I'm 5'9 and how can a crap of big size go thru 30 feet or so? I just cant figure out the length weight issue.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: gewec ()
Date: January 14, 2014 09:13AM

The average length of the small intestine in an adult human male is 6.9 m (22 feet 6 inches), and in an adult female 7.1 m (23 feet 4 inches). It can vary greatly, from as short as 4.6 m (15 feet) to as long as 9.8 m (32 feet).[3][4] It is approximately 2.5–3 cm in diameter.

The small intestine is divided into three structural parts:

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 14, 2014 09:40AM

Well right now, a refrigerator sized stool is sitting in my small intestine, gaining mass and losing water as we speak.

By the time it gets ready to drop, it'll be the size of a Mini Cooper, and as dry as the Sahahra.

How much can I ask of my schphinkter? At what point will the next one be one too many?

One more humungous, dry , hard to pass stool might be the coup de gras on my colon.

In lieu of flowers, send all donations meant for my tortured ass to "IBS Research Fund at Cedars-Sinai.. Cedars-Sinai Medical Center 8700 Beverly Blvd. Suite 2416 Los Angeles, CA 90048-0750".



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2014 09:42AM by BEH.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Dexter Morgan ()
Date: January 14, 2014 09:46AM

Old chip salsa will getcha in your sleep!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: January 14, 2014 10:07AM

How can my shits be wider than the 2-3 cm of the intestines? Shouldnt they be flatter, smaller. I just don't get how something so big can pass such a small area. The anus I understand it stretches. Intestines must work hard to move a larger in width object.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Undies ()
Date: January 14, 2014 10:29AM

You eat, you shit, the end! Fuck you all.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Mr Brown Underwear ()
Date: January 14, 2014 11:11AM

Screw you! Do you sit in shit filled depends? Do you worry about leaks chafing when you are in your 40s? Shut up and I mean shut up you don't care about anyone oh wait you care about you only

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 14, 2014 11:20AM

Black Undies is hardly Mr. Sensitivity.

I suppose he goes to cancer suport group web sites and mocks them too.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Undies ()
Date: January 14, 2014 11:29AM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Black Undies is hardly Mr. Sensitivity.
>
> I suppose he goes to cancer suport group web sites
> and mocks them too.


Up yours!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 14, 2014 12:00PM

Black Undies Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BEH Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Black Undies is hardly Mr. Sensitivity.
> >
> > I suppose he goes to cancer suport group web
> sites
> > and mocks them too.
>
>
> Up yours!


Actually Mr. U, I'd like you to take a good look at what is going on "up mine".

You'd see my scarred, distended, stretched out Schphinkter.

Take a look farther up, and you'd see the bricks works...with the product so massive in size, it has no where to go.

Hang around long enough, and you'll experience the seemingly impossible expulsion of a catastrophically sized stool..complete with moans, screams, whimpers, pus , blood and other rectal bi-products.

Sure, Mr. Undies..."up mine". You be the judge.

Remember, what can be seen, cannot be unseen , and what can be smelled, will forever remain lodged in your nostrils.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Date: January 14, 2014 12:02PM

Chipotle, yum yum

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 14, 2014 12:09PM

Oh, don't think I haven't tried Chipotle, Mr. P.

As well as all cruciferous vegetables, beans of every type, prunes , Indian Curries, Kabobs , spinach and copious amounts of garlic.

The only thing that helps in the least is psylium, but how much of that can a person gag down in a day?

Not enough to keep from feeling that I've given anal birth to a Hippo twice a week.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Date: January 14, 2014 12:29PM

I'm a Mrs.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 14, 2014 12:36PM

My apologies madam.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Date: January 14, 2014 12:37PM

All is forgiven, Sir[?]

1488068_778016175546451_1605061331_n.jpg



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2014 12:38PM by The Dark Passenger.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 14, 2014 12:47PM

I wanted to post thus earlier, but well you know of interruptions that are biological in nature. I guess my body is recalibrating after this diarrhea.

There ARE FAMOUS people with bowel problems.

These include Camille Grammer, Cam' Ron, Chyler Leigh, Tyra Banks, Jenny McCarthy, Cybille Shepard, Franklin Gutierrez, Kurt Cobain (gone of course), Lynda Carter, Adolf Hitler(are you shitting me?), and JFK. Obviously the problems with his head, were far worse then what his bowels contented with.

If he stayed out of Dallas, we could have had a President fighting for a cure. Damn you Oswald!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: January 14, 2014 01:31PM

I have a new supporter at work. She works in our human resources department. Her aunt has IBS. It was painful at first talking to her this morning. I actually cried something I don't do. She is helping with providing support and finding out who messed up my desk. I might ask her out to dinner she is a nice woman.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Undies ()
Date: January 14, 2014 03:36PM

Keep it up I will throw shit pictures all over this thread fuck you

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 14, 2014 06:21PM

Gordorsky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have a new supporter at work. She works in our
> human resources department. Her aunt has IBS. It
> was painful at first talking to her this morning.
> I actually cried something I don't do. She is
> helping with providing support and finding out who
> messed up my desk. I might ask her out to dinner
> she is a nice woman.

Maybe she'll be one of the great ones, Gordorsky.

You're allowed three great women in your life.

If you're out with her, and you open the car door for her, and then lose control of your bowels, and she has pre moitened toweletts and hand sanitizer handy...she's one of the great ones.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: tmi ()
Date: January 15, 2014 10:04AM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Black Undies Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > BEH Wrote:
> >
> --------------------------------------------------
>
> > -----
> > > Black Undies is hardly Mr. Sensitivity.
> > >
> > > I suppose he goes to cancer suport group web
> > sites
> > > and mocks them too.
> >
> >
> > Up yours!
>
>
> Actually Mr. U, I'd like you to take a good look
> at what is going on "up mine".
>
> You'd see my scarred, distended, stretched out
> Schphinkter.
>
> Take a look farther up, and you'd see the bricks
> works...with the product so massive in size, it
> has no where to go.
>
> Hang around long enough, and you'll experience the
> seemingly impossible expulsion of a
> catastrophically sized stool..complete with moans,
> screams, whimpers, pus , blood and other rectal
> bi-products.
>
> Sure, Mr. Undies..."up mine". You be the judge.
>
> Remember, what can be seen, cannot be unseen , and
> what can be smelled, will forever remain lodged in
> your nostrils.

holy crap thats just nasty and tmi!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 15, 2014 11:19AM

If you are the 7% who go through this its not TMI. Instead its reality. The figure of 7% is low. Many believe one in ten Americans have bowel problems.

Thirty plus million with sore asses, bloating, and worried about if a toilet with lots of TP is available.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: zdessd ()
Date: January 15, 2014 11:43AM

Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If you are the 7% who go through this its not TMI.
> Instead its reality. The figure of 7% is low. Many
> believe one in ten Americans have bowel problems.
>
> Thirty plus million with sore asses, bloating, and
> worried about if a toilet with lots of TP is
> available.

anal sex is good for loosing things up

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 15, 2014 12:11PM

Anal sex is good for loosening things up, are you mad sir? Please consider getting some assistance, because nothing and I mean nothing except for a enema or a finger of a doctor go there.

That advice is far from sound. There is nothing good about any sexual activities that involve the rear end, because it could very well lead to structural damage.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: January 15, 2014 12:57PM

Spaseba BEH, I agree with you. I meet her later today, wish me luck as I'm going to see if she will go out for lunch.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 15, 2014 02:20PM

What's the difference between a proctologist and a bartender? The proctologist has to look at only one asshole at a time!

I sit here after a close return to normalcy on the Bristol Stool Guide thinking about GI's. I'm almost sorry for them, because at a party everyone knows where their finger has been.

Do they just say they are physicians and leave it at that? Do oncologists laugh at them behind their backs? Maybe I'm thinking too deeply about this, but they do have a shitty job that pays well.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 15, 2014 02:20PM

What's the difference between a proctologist and a bartender? The proctologist has to look at only one asshole at a time!

I sit here after a close return to normalcy on the Bristol Stool Guide thinking about GI's. I'm almost sorry for them, because at a party everyone knows where their finger has been.

Do they just say they are physicians and leave it at that? Do oncologists laugh at them behind their backs? Maybe I'm thinking too deeply about this, but they do have a shitty job that pays well.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 15, 2014 02:20PM

What's the difference between a proctologist and a bartender? The proctologist has to look at only one asshole at a time!

I sit here after a close return to normalcy on the Bristol Stool Guide thinking about GI's. I'm almost sorry for them, because at a party everyone knows where their finger has been.

Do they just say they are physicians and leave it at that? Do oncologists laugh at them behind their backs? Maybe I'm thinking too deeply about this, but they do have a shitty job that pays well.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: violoo ()
Date: January 16, 2014 05:00AM

does it take 3 times to get your point across or is everyone now ignoring you

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 16, 2014 12:03PM

Violoo this site is much like my bowels right now not working so well

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Definition of Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 16, 2014 12:11PM

Blooming Onion: Placing one's fist into another's rectum (also known as fisting) and then proceeding to fanning open the hand and fingers, creating a blooming onion-like appearance.

ex: I gave Kirk a blooming onion after he passed out.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: January 16, 2014 12:29PM

Definition of Blooming Onion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Blooming Onion: Placing one's fist into another's
> rectum (also known as fisting) and then proceeding
> to fanning open the hand and fingers, creating a
> blooming onion-like appearance.
>
> ex: I gave Kirk a blooming onion after he passed
> out.

That's the stupidest thing I've read in a long time. Blooming Onion, Beh and others here have provided me valuable information. They should be lauded for this rather then this nonsense

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 16, 2014 01:32PM

Thank you cage and the person somehow attaching my user name, no such animal and despite what you make up that's not my user name background.

What my interest is, along with fellow IBS sufferers, is to enlighten people here to a condition one in ten of us has. That's our bowels letting us down, and I'm hoping after dumping off yet another washing machine sized shit, to continue being regular and a regular part of this discussion.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Black Undies ()
Date: January 16, 2014 02:54PM

Up yours fuck you nasty assholes

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Rockhound ()
Date: January 17, 2014 04:59AM

Have any of you guys ever tried a regimen of probiotics?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 17, 2014 04:40PM

Rock I have and I believe they help. I will detail more of this experience later, but I'm recovering from foods I mistakenly ate. Will try tomorrow to provide insight.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: January 18, 2014 05:54AM

Rockhound Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Have any of you guys ever tried a regimen of
> probiotics?


In our condition, that is like suggesting extra vitamin C for a lung cancer patient.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Miscavage ()
Date: January 18, 2014 09:05AM

I like them as they have helped. I take Align brand.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 18, 2014 12:24PM

Rock I appreciate your patience as this week has been challenging. Laxatives and prescriptions were needed, as my system got backed up. This led to a lot of embarrassment the other night, as I spent a couple of hours at my sisters house. Unfortunately she only has one bathroom, and I clogged up her toilet. It got so bad that water flooded the floor, and I owe her money for the plumber and cleaning crew. Her carpets are being replaced Monday.

I do feel better physically, so let me answer your question. Do they help? Slightly although as Beh wrote, for people dealing with our severity, they are probably at best a placebo. Others do benefit from these "good" bacteria cultures, that promote digestive health. At a minimum, get one with 20 billion cultures.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 895380 ()
Date: January 18, 2014 05:59PM

Go to the pen. Have your shit pushed in!

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: ghtedsd ()
Date: January 19, 2014 08:00AM

895380 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Go to the pen. Have your shit pushed in!


just post a m4m ad on craigs crimes list

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: January 19, 2014 08:14AM

I'm sad but I don't know what to do. For once I thought she's the one. She knew of my crap problem.yet she said no to going out for dinner. Because we work for the same company it would be unprofessional. I think this is her way of saying no, an excuse and just that.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: gewec ()
Date: January 19, 2014 08:26AM

having explosive diarrhea on the first date would defiantly be a deal breaker

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: gewec ()
Date: January 19, 2014 08:26AM

having explosive diarrhea on the first date would defiantly be a deal breaker

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 19, 2014 01:20PM

Gordo I'm sorry to hear that. Some companies prevent supervisors from dating subordinates, so she might be telling you the truth. Is it possible she doesn't want to date a man, that has a certain aroma or as you have noted, ride around in a car with shit stained seats? I'm sorry regardless of her reasons.

Here's to you finding that special lady. The good news is women are more likely to have IBS or other bowel related problems. Maybe a wise entrepreneur could start a online dating site for those with less then stellar bowels. "Browndate.com" or something like that would be great, because explaining IBS or regular diarrhea isn't a surefire way to impress a woman.

Best of luck Gordo. I wish you the best, as my intestines are working on something horrendous once again.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: January 19, 2014 02:26PM

Well that happened prior to my expectations.

I'm clear from the toilet, having achieved lift off at 2 pm. There were some tears, grimacing, and even a scream or two.

If I had a mirror to look at my exit door, I'm sure it looked like the "its opening up!" Scene from the movie Independence Day. The results were similar, with a path of destruction to my innards and perhaps the pipes leading away from my groan throne.

Dear sanitation workers, I apologize for both that long and thick log. My hope is it will just float on through to the other side with no blockages.

Options: ReplyQuote
Pages: Previous1234567891011...LastNext
Current Page: 5 of 146


Your Name: 
Your Email (Optional): 
Subject: 
Attach a file
  • No file can be larger than 75 MB
  • All files together cannot be larger than 300 MB
  • 30 more file(s) can be attached to this message
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
 **     **   *******    *******   ********  **    ** 
 **     **  **     **  **     **  **    **  ***   ** 
 **     **  **         **     **      **    ****  ** 
 **     **  ********    ********     **     ** ** ** 
  **   **   **     **         **    **      **  **** 
   ** **    **     **  **     **    **      **   *** 
    ***      *******    *******     **      **    ** 
This forum powered by Phorum.