HomeFairfax General ForumArrest/Ticket SearchWiki newPictures/VideosChatArticlesLinksAbout
Off-Topic :  Fairfax Underground fairfax underground logo
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Pages: 1234567891011...LastNext
Current Page: 1 of 121
Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 11, 2013 01:16PM

While many people in the world have bad eating habits, no one is worse than Americans, and Fairfax itself is a microcosm of the epidemic. Before you grab another French fry, or get that all meat greasy pizza, ask yourself "What Would Bowels Say?" WWBS is a term you should consider. It's rude to clog up your colon with artificial sweetners and trans fats. The colon has to produce more mucous, and your bowels are subjected to punishment beyond cruel and unusual.

Only you can stop treating your bowels in a barbaric manner. Do you like having to bite on fan belts while taking a shit? Imagine for a second a pain ten times worse. That is what your bowels are going through with that cheeseburger and milkshake. Get in touch with both your bowels and feelings, because it is scientifically proven such changes, can improve your mood, lower blood pressure, and decrease your chances for an embolism while squatting.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Fatty Arbuckle ()
Date: November 11, 2013 02:02PM

My colon...my bowels...my rules. Fuck your sanctimonious post, OP.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 11, 2013 02:33PM

He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: When in Belgium ()
Date: November 11, 2013 02:46PM

Brussel sprouts.

/thread

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 11, 2013 03:47PM

Here's a topic for discussion at the dinner table tonight, and that is IBS. Irritable Bowel Syndrome. This condition affects many, somewhere around 8 percent of the general population.

There is a lot of research but not enough, and no cure yet for this rectal condition. Women more often have IBS, but there is a belief that men are underreported. This could be refusal to acknowledge such a medical problem, or going to a doctor to describe their intestinal discomfort. There is no cure but doctors can decrease the frequency of flare ups, or at the very least try SSRIs and other prescriptions to ward off this difficulty.

Talk about IBS. Get the facts that will give your bowels the best relief possible.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Fatty Arbuckle ()
Date: November 11, 2013 04:19PM

My bowels my choice, shove it.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Food Facists ()
Date: November 11, 2013 04:35PM

Next you food Facists will be demanding that trans-anal probes be performed before you can have a quarter pounder.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: unknownuser123 ()
Date: November 12, 2013 07:49AM

i had IBS until i converted to vegan. everything went back to normal. no meat ever again for me

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 12, 2013 08:46AM

Food Facists Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Next you food Facists will be demanding that
> trans-anal probes be performed before you can have
> a quarter pounder.


You are what you eat. If you don't want to regulate your intake, you are doing a grave injustice to your bowels. It might not hurt now, but one day as you are on the toilet saying a hail Mary, you'll realize a proper diet.

First Lady Michelle Obama's "Let's Move" campaign is a good start, but I think she should talk about bowel movements with this program. For instance the importance of keeping a log of your meals and their results.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: WingNut ()
Date: November 12, 2013 08:52AM

Blooming Onion, you are putting the cart before the horse, or more precisely- the shit before the meal.

While it is important after the fact what happens to that food, why not begin on a positive note and concentrate on a healtyh meal instead of "working backwards" from the toilet?

Eat healthy and balanced meals for a few weeks, then perhaps reintroduce the questionable but delish junk and fatty food to your diet and see how goes it.


idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam



Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.

Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 12, 2013 09:46AM

When it comes to bowels , one mans medicine is anothers poison.

Please don't consider this thread a judgement regarding anyones personal eating habits. No one is trying to influence or criticize anyones diet.

This thread is for the fellowship of the boweltrodden. Those of us with swollen colons, wrecked rectums and agonized anuses, can relate, others can't.

You can't engage average folks to lament about chronic constipation or rebound diarrhea, society is not advanced enough.

Allow us our little support group; all we have besides our tourtured intestines is one another.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 12, 2013 09:56AM

Thank you BEH as your assessment of this is correct. We must stand united in pain or on the throne together, unity being our constant in this battle
It appears wingnut must be a young whipper snapper, as so many youth ignore button on their bowels, or tune out the first ladys message, although not perfect with regards to the bowels, but its a start.

I hope one day, as a society that parents, children, and perhaps neighbors at the dinner table, can freely have discussions about their bowels and healthy foods, without the stigma that obviously still permeates our society. Your bowels are no different then Uncle Ernie's pacemaker, or bringing up how Aunt Matildas kidneys require her to be on dialysis.

To even consider foods such as pizza, burgers and the like, think of your bowels before ingesting such garbage.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: WingNut ()
Date: November 12, 2013 09:57AM

How do you gentlemen react to falafel?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 12, 2013 10:02AM

Falafel is very bowel benign as far as I am concerned, thank you for axing.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: WingNut ()
Date: November 12, 2013 10:07AM

Falafel, when baked, is a very healthy source of protein and fiber.

It, however, makes me quite the musician.

But the notes I play after a falafel chowdown are loud and distinct bass tones. They have incredible sustain, but are curiously lacking the residual odor from Mexican dishes.

Falafel is a paradox.

Remember the brilliant and profound insight of George Carlin (RIP):

"Farts are SHIT... without the mess!"


idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam



Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.

Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 12, 2013 12:35PM

Wingnut you have shown bowel wisdom, as falafel is very good for your digestive system. As you have pointed out gas is going to be produced with this, but on the plus side there should be no abdominal cramping.

Also this food guarantees your number 2 will be a number 4, on the Bristol Stool Chart. Your bowels won't have to be thrown through the meat grinder, but rather can excrete a loaf with minimum pushing. A very good point and thank you for this valuable advice. If someone follows this, their bowels will thank them, and by default you.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Eat What I Want 2 ()
Date: November 12, 2013 01:47PM

Stfu blooming. You and your food police including Obama tired of your shit
Attachments:
images-1.jpeg

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 12, 2013 02:02PM

Don't confuse Michelle Obamas socialist food restriction policy with our campaign against inherent colonic issues.

While Michelle butts in to every American refrigerator uninvited with elitist fevor, we are but a few citizens victimized by genetic intestinal woes and struggling with these issues while trying to live a normal life.

We are NOT the food police. We are the Red Cross for our own asses.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 12, 2013 02:56PM

It was incorrect to inject the first ladys program into this discussion. That was not my intent although I do believe she is correct about food choices and exercise. While it falls far from initiatives such as "Your Rectum and You, a Collaborative Effort" or "Talk about Bowel Tips for Families", she is in no shape or form the public face and or representative of people with bowel issues. This doesn't mean she should not bring it up, but as Washington is a polarized and shitty environment right now, perhaps a prolific athlete could step up to the plate, providing they are not on the throne.

That would not be a helpful PSA, but I think Bowel Awareness Month aka BAM would provide help to many holding that can of pepto, or dreading what steak and beer will produce once digested. You don't want to end up making creations like Richard Dreyfuss did, in Close Encounters of the Third or Turd Kind.

Again I apologize for a poor example, but millions of Americans bowels scream.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc ()
Date: November 12, 2013 03:40PM

If you are going public with what sounds to be IBS symptoms, I strongly suggest private internet groups, many of which can be found on social media sites.

While physicians and lay persons alike have a right to pursue relevant information, materials and the like, most are uncomfortable with digestive issues. This is not the most effective manner of dealing with IBS, and while your intentions might be decent, the immaturity and bringing up politicians is going to detract the chances of people seeking medical care.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: rwerr ()
Date: November 13, 2013 06:08AM

lets now talk about hemoroids

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 13, 2013 07:21AM

rwerr Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> lets now talk about hemoroids

That is a pertinent subject, because hemorrhoids are the result of a lot of our issues.

What causes hemorrhoids?
Too much pressure on the veins in the pelvic and rectal area causes hemorrhoids.

Normally, tissue inside the anus fills with blood to help control bowel movements. If you strain to move stool, the increased pressure causes the veins in this tissue to swell and stretch. This can cause hemorrhoids.

Diarrhea or constipation also may lead to straining and can increase pressure on veins in the anal canal.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: WingNut ()
Date: November 13, 2013 07:36AM

About Michelle Obobo: While I disagree on almost everything her husband does, it is actually IMO a noble effort to encourage people to VOLUNTARILY take responsibility for their own diets and exercise. Fat and lazy people are a detriment to society as a whole and weigh us all down with added medical costs.

Back to gas: Falafel, which I mentioned before is one of those rare foods that produce gas, but not of the noxious variety. I would add lentls and white beans to the list. My one theory about gas is that it does not necessarily reek itself, but it is the deposits of dookie matter on your colon wall that it blows past- similar to placing potpourri near a fan.

Anyhow, I digress. I would again emphasize a dire need to chew your food better. I've made a serious effort over the last 20 years to chew longer, and that coupled with a better diet has all but eliminated the Chemical Ali grade flatulence that once haunted me on occasion.

Next time you sit down for some Mexican, think of the peppers and spices and beans as an adversary that must be beaten into submission before it can visit Mr. Colon. Chew as you normally do, then keep chewing. Chew about 1.5x your normal cycle. Let your mouth remove the moisture and neutralize the spices before swallowing. On the plus side, you may find yourself enjoying food more and eating less!


idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam



Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.

Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: I'm going to eat,drink and die.. ()
Date: November 13, 2013 07:59AM

WingNut Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> About Michelle Obobo: While I disagree on almost
> everything her husband does, it is actually IMO a
> noble effort to encourage people to VOLUNTARILY
> take responsibility for their own diets and
> exercise. Fat and lazy people are a detriment to
> society as a whole and weigh us all down with
> added medical costs.
>
> Back to gas: Falafel, which I mentioned before is
> one of those rare foods that produce gas, but not
> of the noxious variety. I would add lentls and
> white beans to the list. My one theory about gas
> is that it does not necessarily reek itself, but
> it is the deposits of dookie matter on your colon
> wall that it blows past- similar to placing
> potpourri near a fan.
>
> Anyhow, I digress. I would again emphasize a dire
> need to chew your food better. I've made a serious
> effort over the last 20 years to chew longer, and
> that coupled with a better diet has all but
> eliminated the Chemical Ali grade flatulence that
> once haunted me on occasion.
>
> Next time you sit down for some Mexican, think of
> the peppers and spices and beans as an adversary
> that must be beaten into submission before it can
> visit Mr. Colon. Chew as you normally do, then
> keep chewing. Chew about 1.5x your normal cycle.
> Let your mouth remove the moisture and neutralize
> the spices before swallowing. On the plus side,
> you may find yourself enjoying food more and
> eating less!

If wingnut continues to preach about health.
He cleaned his asshole but did he clean his ass?
The hypocrisy,the hypocrisy.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 13, 2013 08:10AM

We're all entitled to our opinion, but WingNut is a thoughtful and valuable contributor to this thread.

Perhaps you're judging Mr. Nut by his political views, but allow me to assure you that bowel problems do not care if you're democrat or republican.

We're all just sufferers here, victims of our own digestive systems. We are from all walks of life, various social, racial and financial groups.

Nothing matters here, except for colonic camaraderie , which includes sharing stories of symptoms and possible solutions.

WingNut , or anyone with pertinent experience , knowledge or advice is welcome.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: WingNut ()
Date: November 13, 2013 08:19AM

I'm going to eat,drink and die.. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> WingNut Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > About Michelle Obobo: While I disagree on
> almost
> > everything her husband does, it is actually IMO
> a
> > noble effort to encourage people to VOLUNTARILY
> > take responsibility for their own diets and
> > exercise. Fat and lazy people are a detriment
> to
> > society as a whole and weigh us all down with
> > added medical costs.
> >
> > Back to gas: Falafel, which I mentioned before
> is
> > one of those rare foods that produce gas, but
> not
> > of the noxious variety. I would add lentls and
> > white beans to the list. My one theory about
> gas
> > is that it does not necessarily reek itself,
> but
> > it is the deposits of dookie matter on your
> colon
> > wall that it blows past- similar to placing
> > potpourri near a fan.
> >
> > Anyhow, I digress. I would again emphasize a
> dire
> > need to chew your food better. I've made a
> serious
> > effort over the last 20 years to chew longer,
> and
> > that coupled with a better diet has all but
> > eliminated the Chemical Ali grade flatulence
> that
> > once haunted me on occasion.
> >
> > Next time you sit down for some Mexican, think
> of
> > the peppers and spices and beans as an
> adversary
> > that must be beaten into submission before it
> can
> > visit Mr. Colon. Chew as you normally do, then
> > keep chewing. Chew about 1.5x your normal
> cycle.
> > Let your mouth remove the moisture and
> neutralize
> > the spices before swallowing. On the plus side,
> > you may find yourself enjoying food more and
> > eating less!
>
> If wingnut continues to preach about health.
> He cleaned his asshole but did he clean his ass?
> The hypocrisy,the hypocrisy.

Sir, I do not understand your criticism.

We are all here trying to make the world a more POSITIVE place.

Let's work together instead of fighting one and other!
Attachments:
Wonderbug Cast.jpg

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 13, 2013 08:36AM

It could not have been said better:

"We are all here trying to make the world a more POSITIVE place.

Let's work together instead of fighting one and other!"

May I also add, "one schphinkter at a time"

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: What' can I say? ()
Date: November 13, 2013 09:04AM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It could not have been said better:
>
> "We are all here trying to make the world a more
> POSITIVE place.
>
> Let's work together instead of fighting one and
> other!"
>
> May I also add, "one schphinkter at a time"

That hasn't already been assked and said.
I stand corrected and apologize.
I will keep my cornhole shut with this thread.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 13, 2013 09:20AM

Please continue to contribute.

You don't have to have a confused colon to participate.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/13/2013 09:20AM by BEH.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc ()
Date: November 13, 2013 09:33AM

I cannot believe this simple minded ludicrous discussion.

The juvenile comments are detrimental to health in this particular area of study, and could easily dissuade someone from seeking medical attention.

Web MD diagnosis type of material here, albeit in the form of junior high school type of tomfoolery.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Zippy ()
Date: November 13, 2013 09:43AM

Anything from Tippy's Taco, ugh.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 13, 2013 10:31AM

Anon Doc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I cannot believe this simple minded ludicrous
> discussion.
>
> The juvenile comments are detrimental to health in
> this particular area of study, and could easily
> dissuade someone from seeking medical attention.
>
> Web MD diagnosis type of material here, albeit in
> the form of junior high school type of tomfoolery.

I can see your point Doc, from the Anal Practicioners point of view.

But for a moment, try putting yourself in the shoes of the patients.

Bowel problems aren't just painful and annoying, but they're embarrassing too.

Many times people with no other recourse make jokes about their affliction.

Its what we do...if you're not one of us, you wouldn't understand.

As far as dissuading someone from seeking medical attention, I think you're mistaken.

Someone unsure how to approach this discussion may actually be encouraged by the levity. They may think, "here are some real down to earth people who feel what I feel".

I invite anyone with a anal affliction who is put off by colonic comedy to contact me directly via personal message or visit this website

www.dailystrength.org/support-groups/Gastrointestinal

Meet others online who are facing challenges related to a compromised Gastrointestinal System.
Get support by sharing advice, trading tips, and telling your story.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 13, 2013 12:45PM

Zippy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Anything from Tippy's Taco, ugh.


You have a higher chance of bowel issues, by eating at any restaurant, not just Tippys. I strongly suggest following health inspection reports if dining out, but home along with knowing your triggers is vital too.

Restaurants can harbor e coli, and other nasty items,that can leave your ass screaming bloody murder. Take care of your bowels or pay the price. Pants full of shit or grinding teeth.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Fs 8877 ()
Date: November 13, 2013 01:24PM

I have worked in restaurants for twenty plus years. 99%of them are cleaner then you're house.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Liberal Logic 29 ()
Date: November 13, 2013 03:17PM

The First Lady and her program, along with ACA, guarantee more people will get preventative visits, colonoscopy checks, etc. I thank goodness for the ACA, and love Michelle's Let's Move.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 13, 2013 06:25PM

Liberal Logic 29 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The First Lady and her program, along with ACA,
> guarantee more people will get preventative
> visits, colonoscopy checks, etc. I thank goodness
> for the ACA, and love Michelle's Let's Move.


For the love of all things holy, enough with the political drivel, and let's get back on task with the bottom line. There's plenty of assholes in Washington, but pay attention to the one you carry with you each and everyday.

Until I was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome in my late thirties, I thought I was alone, although one in ten of us may have it. If you are aware of your rectum, or having it dictate your life, chances are you have IBS. Common signs are abdominal pain, straining, constipation, diarrhea, and bloody toilet paper or excessive wiping.

There is no cure. This makes it even more of a pain in the ass, the key is managing it, and hoping your briefs don't have brown racing stripes. One suggestion is boxer shorts with a shower after shitting.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 14, 2013 07:28AM

Now that you mention it, toilet paper falls short for providing true rectal cleanliness.

If you go a lot, like many here do, you want more effectiveness in every wipe.

Pre-moistened towlettes work, but to save money, wet paper towels clean every last smudge.

For those who don't suffer from IBS , diverticulitis or colitis, you wouldn't know how important rectal cleanliness is to achieve the maximum comfort level.

Yes, there is no cure , but there are dozens of ways to make your ass feel as good as it can.

Thats why we're here, to share rectum saving tactics.

Until science finds us some relief , all we have is one another.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: November 14, 2013 07:37AM

I'm glad we are still talking about this.

Last night I had cramping all night from Sbarros pizza, my asshole feels like Mt Vesuvius.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: wqaoop ()
Date: November 14, 2013 07:55AM

make sure you de-hair your hole. veet works great and keeps things clean down there

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: November 14, 2013 08:01AM

What's veet?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: oirrse ()
Date: November 14, 2013 08:17AM

ever use google ?
Attachments:
y8S6k.gif

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 14, 2013 08:25AM

I know some people will ask "why would Gordorsky eat Sbarros pizza when he knows the result will be painful and uncomfortable?"


While it may seem like a negative self fullfilled prophecy, you have to understand the life and mind of a victim of IBS.

Imagine yourself following the bland diet recommended for IBS sufferers.

Everyone else is having Chinese, Thai and Indian, you're having applesauce and dry toast.

Then, when you're proud of yourself for being strong, you start smelling the fried onions and peppers, the curry... and the pizza.

You all know about the allure of forbidden fruit.

And even if you know what is going to happen , the cascading geysers of diarrhea , the huge stool too large and dry to pass (imagine forcing out a football), the resulting aftermath of itches and rashes, the awful gas pains , and the cramping , it still isn't enough to guarentee that even the most determined patient will be able to pass up the aroma of that deadly pizza.


Then you sit there on the bowl, your agony compounded by the guilt of your failure to look after the safety of your own bowels.

Back to the applesauce Gordorsky , and be strong next time you're at the mall, one of the worst places to be when you suffer from IBS.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: poppers63e ()
Date: November 14, 2013 08:42AM

anal sex helps with IBS and hemoroids. loosens everything up

Options: ReplyQuote
Obama's Approval Rating with Military? 15%
Posted by: WingNut ()
Date: November 14, 2013 08:49AM

Am I alone in not appreciating the tone the one supposed "medial professional" takes in this forum?

Some of us are from different backgrounds and education levels. It is a very personal and intimate subject to discuss bathroom habits and I think it is productive to have conversations, regardless of whether some find them offensive or sophomoric.

By rejecting anyones comments, you may lead someone to think they have no options and are alone.

We are together in this.

Remember- the truth is like the center of town- it doesn't matter how you get there, it matters that you arrive to your destination.

Lighten up Doc!


idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam



Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.

Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/14/2015 08:28PM by WingNut.


Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 14, 2013 08:53AM

poppers63e Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> anal sex helps with IBS and hemoroids. loosens
> everything up


That is not accurate, it is the opposite.

A fruitful discussion this morning, I hope one day all will feel comfortable enough talking about IBS, gas, and feces.
Feces is what it boils down to ultimately. 75% of it is water of the brown variety, but it includes insoluble fiber. These are the items you see in your loo, after taking a number two
You can learn a lot from your deposits. A bad smell can be an indicatorvof
Indicator of disease.

It's awful having to sit in a stall, teeth mashed down on a fan or leather belt, from screaming out in agony. Likewise it can be scary having a green shit emerge, from Aunt Ednas cake.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: cszqaa ()
Date: November 14, 2013 09:05AM

when i take a dump there is so much blood it looks like someone was murdered in the stall

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blowhard Lib Food Police ()
Date: November 14, 2013 09:34AM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I know some people will ask "why would Gordorsky
> eat Sbarros pizza when he knows the result will be
> painful and uncomfortable?"
>
>
> While it may seem like a negative self fullfilled
> prophecy, you have to understand the life and mind
> of a victim of IBS.
>
> Imagine yourself following the bland diet
> recommended for IBS sufferers.
>
> Everyone else is having Chinese, Thai and Indian,
> you're having applesauce and dry toast.
>
> Then, when you're proud of yourself for being
> strong, you start smelling the fried onions and
> peppers, the curry... and the pizza.
>
> You all know about the allure of forbidden fruit.
>
>
> And even if you know what is going to happen , the
> cascading geysers of diarrhea , the huge stool too
> large and dry to pass (imagine forcing out a
> football), the resulting aftermath of itches and
> rashes, the awful gas pains , and the cramping ,
> it still isn't enough to guarentee that even the
> most determined patient will be able to pass up
> the aroma of that deadly pizza.
>
>
> Then you sit there on the bowl, your agony
> compounded by the guilt of your failure to look
> after the safety of your own bowels.
>
> Back to the applesauce Gordorsky , and be strong
> next time you're at the mall, one of the worst
> places to be when you suffer from IBS.

I will eat whatever the fuck I want. You food police need to stop this shit, wingnut obviously likes Michelle's Obama Bloomberg etc etc. Off for a candy bar and a burger

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: WingNut ()
Date: November 14, 2013 09:37AM

Blowhard Lib Food Police Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> BEH Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I know some people will ask "why would
> Gordorsky
> > eat Sbarros pizza when he knows the result will
> be
> > painful and uncomfortable?"
> >
> >
> > While it may seem like a negative self
> fullfilled
> > prophecy, you have to understand the life and
> mind
> > of a victim of IBS.
> >
> > Imagine yourself following the bland diet
> > recommended for IBS sufferers.
> >
> > Everyone else is having Chinese, Thai and
> Indian,
> > you're having applesauce and dry toast.
> >
> > Then, when you're proud of yourself for being
> > strong, you start smelling the fried onions and
> > peppers, the curry... and the pizza.
> >
> > You all know about the allure of forbidden
> fruit.
> >
> >
> > And even if you know what is going to happen ,
> the
> > cascading geysers of diarrhea , the huge stool
> too
> > large and dry to pass (imagine forcing out a
> > football), the resulting aftermath of itches
> and
> > rashes, the awful gas pains , and the cramping
> ,
> > it still isn't enough to guarentee that even
> the
> > most determined patient will be able to pass up
> > the aroma of that deadly pizza.
> >
> >
> > Then you sit there on the bowl, your agony
> > compounded by the guilt of your failure to look
> > after the safety of your own bowels.
> >
> > Back to the applesauce Gordorsky , and be
> strong
> > next time you're at the mall, one of the worst
> > places to be when you suffer from IBS.
>
> I will eat whatever the fuck I want. You food
> police need to stop this shit, wingnut obviously
> likes Michelle's Obama Bloomberg etc etc. Off for
> a candy bar and a burger


Eat what you like, I don't care.

Don't cry too loud when your toes fall off or when no good looking woman wants to rub bellies with your slob ass.


idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam



Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.

Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 14, 2013 09:56AM

poppers63e Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> anal sex helps with IBS and hemoroids. loosens
> everything up

Oh my goodness son, if only things were that simple.

If you had any kind of anal issues, you'd know that insertion of anything in the brown hole is a no no.

While the mechanics of nature should make it abundantly clear that the rectum is off limits , the perverse and adventurous nature of man has caused many to choose to ignore the obvious pitfalls of anal sex.

You'd certainly want to avoid buggering anyone with IBS, thats for sure.

Unless of course your idea of a romantic evening is listening to the wails of an injured IBS victim, with the smell of sulfer and bile instead of roses, scented candles and red wine.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: WingNut ()
Date: November 14, 2013 10:06AM

BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> poppers63e Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > anal sex helps with IBS and hemoroids. loosens
> > everything up
>
> Oh my goodness son, if only things were that
> simple.
>
> If you had any kind of anal issues, you'd know
> that insertion of anything in the brown hole is a
> no no.
>
> While the mechanics of nature should make it
> abundantly clear that the rectum is off limits ,
> the perverse and adventurous nature of man has
> caused many to choose to ignore the obvious
> pitfalls of anal sex.
>
> You'd certainly want to avoid buggering anyone
> with IBS, thats for sure.
>
> Unless of course your idea of a romantic evening
> is listening to the wails of an injured IBS
> victim, with the smell of sulfer and bile instead
> of roses, scented candles and red wine.


Good stuff BEH!

I read this to myself in a thoughtful and deep "books on tape" voice and the message is profound and resonating.


idontlikebeingrightaboutshitlikethisbutiam



Edited 21 time(s). Last edit at 5/31/1967 05:57AM by WingNut.

Last edit at 11/30/2015 01:37PM Last edit at 5/14/2015 03:52PM Last edit at 1/28/2014 05:57AM Last edit at 11/29/2015 01:10PM Last edit at 3/14/2011 11:52PM Last edit at 7/20/2012 04:07AM
Last edit at 6/29/2013 11:18PM Last edit at 3/19/2011 01:02PM Last edit at 3/26/2012 09:07PM


Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 14, 2013 11:50AM

Two drinks to avoid, beer and carbonated beverages. That Pepsi could turn into a Poopsi . That six pack you drink while watching the game, might go down smooth, but the next morning its time to pay the piper.

Your colon is an amazing part of your anatomy. Do bring this up, I would recommend Thanksgiving. If the man of the house would be so kind, he shall gently hit his wine goblet to get everyones attention, and talk about how the bowels will be affected by each dish. Squash is a motherfucker.

By having this talk, other guests will have an idea what to expect after the wishbone has been broken, and each participant enters the toilet zone.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Fck u Food Police ()
Date: November 14, 2013 12:11PM

Fuck!!
Attachments:
images-3.jpeg

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 14, 2013 12:23PM

That is exactly the type or bowel movement we all aspire to achieve.

It certainly is well formed, looks delightfully easy to pass, and screams "your bowels are empty"!

As for the food police comment, you're missing the point.

We're not advocating that anyone change their diets, we are merely sharing information with others who, like us, share in the heartbreak and torment of IBS.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: November 14, 2013 01:18PM

What foods should I eat?

Beh I am frustrated, there are lists of what to avoid. It seems like almost any food.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 14, 2013 01:38PM

Hate to say this Gordorsky, but you really have to take your long suffering rectum to the doctor as soon as possible.

You see, while each of us share bowel woes , what makes us unique is what our schphinkters can and can not tolerate.

For example, to you, Pizza seems to be a poisonous as Hemlock, but I can eat an entire cheese and tomato pie with no worries. I love a vanilla ice cream cone, but the same treat would send you to the stalls while your colon sputters like a 59' Ford F100 Pickup Truck.

When you visit your carefully selected Ano-Recto practitioner you really have to come clean about your eating habits and favorite foods. All asses are different , and an experienced lower GI physician is hip to this.

Alas, there are no quick fixes; no miracle cures. With anal woes, trial and error are the best courses for treatment. You really need to find out what you can eat.

Yes, it won't be easy. A failed experiment could mean a ruined couch; one wrong move can result in the brutal ending of a budding relationship..there will be dinners destroyed, holidays hampered, movie dates cut short...shopping at the mall? Just try to get an empty stall in Macy's bathroom during the holidays.

Gordorsky, it'll be a long frustrating process, but the effort will be worth it.

Get to the doctor and start documenting which foods digest..and which come flying out of your ass like a swarm of bats at dusk.

Good luck, my brother in bowel.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 14, 2013 02:13PM

Beh and his advice, spot on spot off take your pick.

Like he said, see a doctor. Sadly its through trial and error, with your asshole saying yay or nay.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: wrongg ()
Date: November 14, 2013 03:40PM

This is a really shitty thread.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Tough One ()
Date: November 14, 2013 05:06PM

wrongg Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is a really shitty thread.


It is but I am thanking my lucky stars, that I've yet to deal with any of this "shit" other than the occasional bout of diarrhea. Those experiences, or glimpses of what could be, are enough to make me tremble. These guys are going through a world of shit.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: wrongg ()
Date: November 14, 2013 05:21PM

If Gerry saw this thread, there would be a real shitstorm.

or Sven.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Tough One ()
Date: November 14, 2013 06:28PM

wrongg Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If Gerry saw this thread, there would be a real
> shitstorm.
>
> or Sven.


Actually I'd be curious what those two think of this. Probably Gerry would extol the values of Obama Care, and Sven, well good luck guessing on that one.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: November 15, 2013 07:33AM

Thanks beh as this holiday season is painful. All shopping will be done on the internet, as the idea of the Macys stall makes me shake.

I am greatful for your support.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 15, 2013 08:16AM

I see Macys getting some attention, and I wish for their Thanksgiving parade, they could have a float dedicated to IBS awareness. It's not a far fetched idea, as other conditions have floats during the parade. With that in mind I hope none of the rockettes have IBS during their acrobatic show.

It is my wish, that a float with a man straining on the toilet, could make its way down Broadway. On the float could be a list of dos and donts, along with a giant scope as a reminder to take care of your anal cavity.

Macy's make the right decision, and make this float a reality.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Fatty Mcbutterpantz ()
Date: November 15, 2013 10:50AM

With Michelle Obama on the float eat fruit veggies, part of communist America

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Superpooper7 ()
Date: November 15, 2013 11:43AM

I'm happy someone had the balls to bring this up.

I have been diagnosed for 2 yrs, and have seen improvements. Probiotics and taking care of anxiety have decreased episodes.

It is embarrassing. For instance the feces falling into my underwear. My dating options are limited. Taking a shower helps, but hrs later I wipe and there's a lot of poop.

Several times I've gone thru a roll.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Packistan ()
Date: November 15, 2013 12:56PM

Kabos and lentils, bad bad bad news

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 15, 2013 02:21PM

Super, racing stripes are not fun, especially if you toss your undies in the moments leading up to sexual intercourse. Your one eyed friend up front might work, while your one eyed enemy in the rear stabs you in the back.

Anxiety has a high rate of affliction among those diagnosed with IBS. The central nervous system controls your colon. Some forty feet of mucous lined tunnels are involved before shit rears its ugly head . Good news you aren't alone

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: 7890457896357 ()
Date: November 15, 2013 03:08PM

Wat I think of this thread
Attachments:
images-1.jpeg

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: wrongg ()
Date: November 15, 2013 03:13PM

Thread getting shitier.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 15, 2013 03:14PM

I'd rate that a "B".


Looks like it passed easy, but is too dense to be rated an "A".

Too heavy, see how it sank?

A perfect bowel movement is fluffy, it floats, it's a lighter brown, and it should hardly stink at all.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Sasquatch ()
Date: November 16, 2013 07:28AM

Sasquatch can eat anything

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc ()
Date: November 16, 2013 10:35AM

I sit here mortified by a lot of the nonsensical, juvenile type of write ups here. The original intent might have been helpful, but as anyone can see clearly, no one is going to take IBS or other such conditions seriously.These write ups might further dissuade those contending with IBS. Pictures of stool, along with inappropriate lingo are only going to make patients stigmatized.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 16, 2013 01:48PM

Doctor, how are your bowels?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc ()
Date: November 16, 2013 02:39PM

My bowels or yours for that matter, are irrelevant to this discussion. Your write ups are the bane of immaturity, along with my professional opinion, bordering very close to schizoid in their nature. You have company obviously, as user name onions posts have been preposterous as well.

Am I saying don't talk about such issues? Absolutely not as it would behoove you and others, to join private Internet groups where young people congregate. Others might find support groups at libraries or community centers. You really need to think of unforeseen consequences, before typing up commentary best suited for intermediate school.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 17, 2013 06:27AM

Doc, our bowels are what this entire thread is about.

If you have nothing to share about your digestive system, then you aren't one of us.

You can only look at our affliction from a clinical point of view, and thats the problem.

Once you can commiserate, then you can make a valid comment.

Until then, you're just another one of the impotent lackeys of the medical profession, with your cold, calculated method of treatment that has kept us twitching in the wind and suffering miserably.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: November 17, 2013 08:14AM

I start out this morning, with a new diet plus probiotics. I went to the doctor, an unpleasant time. Yet this diet hope it holds the foods down.

He said hold off on coffee, chocolates, ice cream, cheese other dairy products, soft drinks, nuts, breads. For two weeks its this. Basically he seems to have said don't eat, steaks burgers also.

I'm upset. My bed was filled with shit one morning, so I had no choice.I'm so tired of driving with newspaper below me. The people I work with, no support. They just laugh, snicker, leave car air fresheners on my desk, and Mr Poopy Pants name tags on my desk.The manager of Arbyd

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: November 17, 2013 08:18AM

Sorry I pressed the wrong button. Maybe this no coffee is the problem. The manager of Arbys came over, to ask me about customers complaints of odors.
This diet is bland. I dream of when I was a young man in Slovakia, when food and other problems were northere . Just upset. The ass is an ass.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: MISTER FISTER ()
Date: November 17, 2013 09:42AM

YOUR ANSWER IS FISTING CLEAR YOU RIGHT OUT

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Anon Doc ()
Date: November 17, 2013 12:16PM

Gordon I am pleased you got some professional help. There is no cure for IBS, but through diet and stress reduction, the flare ups can be less prevalent. As for the probiotics, these are controversial to a degree, due to them not being FDA approved for conditions related to the health of ones bowels. Some have felt they've improved their digestion, and there should not be any harm, as they have been labeled as safe, which crosses a threshold for standards.

Fisting and other inanimate objects in the anal cavity, are the worst idea ever. This screams danger, and it can lead to rectal bleeding or anal prolapse. If you find such sexual activities to your liking consider that, along with the concept of incontinence.

Beh your write ups are creative and often well thought out. You are obviously a young man of capacityand capability, but have you gone through medical school, spent hundreds of hours a week as a resident, along with handling difficult patients with various ailments? I don't think so, and it would behoove you to act in mature fashion. Your write ups are not your meal ticket, even while your intentions were good at the onset. Yet now this has entered a territory of unbridled stupidity. As for being a cold lackey, from the day I went to school until now, my focus has been on patient care.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: MISTER FISTER ()
Date: November 17, 2013 02:25PM

YEAH
Attachments:
images.jpeg

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: whatsex ()
Date: November 18, 2013 03:58AM

i like fisting

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 18, 2013 07:29AM

Fist if you must, but be advised it is impossible for some of us to even consider it.

It's bad enough IBS sufferers get our rectums jostled, probed, and invaded on a regular basis by insensitive Ano-Recto specialsts.

To submit to a fisting would be anal suicide.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 18, 2013 08:52AM

Fisting is taboo. This is certainly not something to be discussed at your family's Thanksgiving dinner. While bowel health is one topic that should be safe, please leave this home at grandma's house. This is going to make you ostracized from any family event, and you'll have pariah status.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: November 18, 2013 10:49AM

Thanks Dr its good getting a second opinion, without the co pay. Do you know of any foods I can have? I miss so many.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 18, 2013 11:08AM

Gordo, I am sorry. Know you have a brother in bowel here, who hopes you get those answers. This sounds temporary, as if the doctor is just trying to figure out what's going on, for your digestive systemto work.

I think it is sad, that there's no IBS awareness month. For instance pink is associated with breast cancer, yellow for missing soldiers, how about brown for us? The NFL players could wear brown socks and gloves for IBS month. What us whom suffer with this, is an athlete, past or present to go public. It would bring relief to hear an athlete or celebrity take a stand, and admit to abdominal pains, poop filled undies,or blood mixed in with their feces. If anyone famous reads this, and you have IBS, its curtain call time.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Political Mafioso ()
Date: November 18, 2013 12:57PM

Speaking of people of prominence, any Presidents have butt issues? It would be funny seeing potus drop an unexpected one at a speech.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Col Saunders ()
Date: November 18, 2013 01:04PM

Liberal Logic 29 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The First Lady and her program, along with ACA,
> guarantee more people will get preventative
> visits, colonoscopy checks, etc. I thank goodness
> for the ACA, and love Michelle's Let's Move.


She will do anything to get her face in the news. It will be a big let down when her fantasy ride is over. Im sure a triple whopper and a banana split will help her work through it

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 19, 2013 09:30AM

IBS has led me in an unexpected path, and that's to research this condition, along with providing relevant info. Here are some poop facts to digest,

An average person shits two pounds a day.

Shits that float aka floaters have lots of gas inside

75% of your shit is water

The rest is dead bacteria, mucus, salts.

Carry on and not looking forward to biting on fan belts whilst on the toilet.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 19, 2013 10:06AM

Famous People With Irritable Bowel Syndrome

1.Tyra Banks

While the model and talk-show host quizzed guest Janet Jackson with embarrassing questions on her show, Tyra, in 2006, Banks revealed a private fact of her own.

"I'm very gassy," she told Jackson and the audience, explaining that she has irritable bowel syndrome

2.Jenny McCarthy
The former Playboy Playmate and host of MTV's Singled Out wrote in her 1997 autobiography, Jen-X: Jenny McCarthy's Open Book, that she doesn't need to diet and exercise to stay thin—she's such a nervous wreck living in Hollywood that she has chronic diarrhea.

The outspoken actress and mom has also talked openly about her IBS symptoms (mainly gas and diarrhea) on The Howard Stern Show and in Arena magazine.

3.Kurt Cobain
"Thank you all from the pit of my burning nauseous stomach," the Nirvana front man wrote in his 1994 suicide note. For years, Cobain had talked openly and written in his journal about a painful stomach ailment that doctors had been unable to diagnose.

The 2007 biography Kurt Cobain: Oh Well, Whatever, Nevermind claims that this pain was partially what drove the rocker to self-medicate with, and eventually become addicted to, heroin. In 2004, The Guardian wrote that Cobain's IBS-like symptoms were likely exacerbated by his poor diet, which consisted mainly of Kraft macaroni and cheese and Strawberry Quik, and contained few, if any, fruits or vegetables.

4.John F. Kennedy
When a presidential historian and medical consultant examined the late president's medical records in 2002, it was discovered that Kennedy suffered from many painful and potentially debilitating ailments that he hid from the public—including severe bouts of diarrhea, which doctors suspected might have been ulcerative colitis.

"Repeated examinations did not confirm that," reported The New York Times. "Their ultimate diagnosis was spastic colitis, which today would be described as irritable bowel syndrome." Kennedy took antidiarrheal drugs for relief, and was given supplemental testosterone to help him regain weight and strength.


5.Adolf Hitler
The late Fritz Redlich, MD, wrote Hitler: Diagnosis of a Destructive Prophet in 1998 after pouring through thousands of documents and medical records from the Nazi leader's personal physician.

He learned that Hitler was a hypochondriac with a history of vascular spasms, headaches, and abdominal spasms—among other health concerns—and concluded that the dictator probably suffered from irritable bowel syndrome made worse by the wide variety of medications he took on a regular basis.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/19/2013 10:08AM by BEH.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 19, 2013 11:24AM

That's an impressive list of people Beh, and with the exception of Hitler its good to know the rich, powerful and famous have spent their fair share of time on the porcelain goddess.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and I can think of no better occasion then the table, to talk about IBS and bowel health as well.

Yet some are not comfortable with this. Some don't want to offend the host of a meal, with all the spreadings lined up with those fancy napkins and silverware.

That turkey and gravy looks delicious to most, but for people with IBS, this leads to sweating under their best clothing, and images of the glaze that will henceforth make its appearance.

It is not rude to say no, just explain to the host, that either you'll be shitting like old faithful, or for a more conservative approach, say you have to watch what you eat for dietary reasons. This is usually enough to avoid further probing, and might just save their expensive seat covers.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: November 19, 2013 12:13PM

I wish we had omacka, which is Slovak gravy here. I'm scared of this meal. The amount and types of foods, its too much for my stomach. All Saints Day growing up used to be fun, but here its a puddling mess.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 19, 2013 01:14PM

Fecally fascinating!

In WW2, German tanks in Africa, considered it good luck, to run over camel shit. Rommel may not have been the desert fox, without this good luck charm. By all means I am going to bring this up at Thanksgiving dinner for the blue hairs in our family, as well for those who find historical information interesting.

Gordo is that gravy that much different? If so can I buy it here as gravy here just ravishes my intestines. By the time it gets to the exit hole, its a watery mess I contend with for days.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 19, 2013 01:14PM

If I eat what everyone else eats on Thanksgiving, it will be a "crapshoot".

Either I will have immediate explosive diarrhea, or two days later will be giving birth to a 10 pound bowel brick.

Both scenerios are agonizing.

I'll have to stick to applesauce, plain white bread and Metamucil to avoid pain and embarrassment , further alienating family and friends.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 19, 2013 01:37PM

Yes BEH,a case of sirra sirra, what will be will.

Here is an idea that might help, although it seems your "gift packages" await a couple days at least.

Yet if they don't, or anyone has brown sludge running down their legs at this special dinner, you are not "shit out of luck." Bring plastic molds for cooking brownies. Put your remnants in these, preferably with disposal gloves or tongs if possible.

Throw them in the freezer for thirty minutes to an hour. Confuse and distract others with magic tricks or play Trivial Pursuit. While they have let their guard down, take these frozen pieces of poop, and place them under the table.

While you have to feel sorry that the,dog might be punished sometimes you just have to do this to the family pooch.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 19, 2013 01:43PM

I think I'll just bow out for the holidays, and sit on the bowl.

I have a wonderful flat screen in the bathroom.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: November 20, 2013 08:03AM

It never ends. Last night I had a painful crap. This morning the area near my anus is bright red. While its hidden from view unless I use a mirror, are there creams to use?

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 20, 2013 08:14AM

Proctitis is an inflammation of the lining of the rectum. The rectum is a muscular tube that's connected to the end of your colon. Stool passes through the rectum on its way out of the body.

Proctitis can cause rectal pain and the continuous sensation that you need to have a bowel movement. Proctitis symptoms can be short-lived, or they can become chronic.

Proctitis is common in people who have inflammatory bowel diseases. Sexually transmitted infections are another frequent cause. Proctitis also can be a side effect of radiation therapy for certain cancers.

Ask your doctor before using over-the-counter (OTC) diarrhea medicines. Don't take OTC anti-diarrhea drugs, such as loperamide (Imodium A-D), without your doctor's OK.
Avoid food just before bedtime.

Eating just before going to bed may stimulate your digestive system and cause you to have bowel movements and discomfort at night.

Take over-the-counter pain relievers. Acetaminophen (Tylenol, others), aspirin or ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin, others) may relieve your discomfort. However, if you have colitis, pain relievers such as aspirin or ibuprofen could make your condition worse.
Talk to your doctor before taking them. Use a sitz bath with warm water.

A sitz bath fits over the toilet. You can get one at a medical supply store.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Blooming Onion ()
Date: November 20, 2013 08:37AM

I have taken it upon myself, to write to Richmond, and asked those assholes to sponsor Bowel Awareness Day. With one in five Americans contending with an anal bit of agony, it is my hope that they will make it a day of observance to those of us who occupy a stall at their work, groaning and screaming in agony, and yet don't let that or shitty undergarments to weigh them down.

One day we should wear brown, as a display of our solidarity, along with knowingly showing we aren't alone. We will never waver, no matter how shitty it gets.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 20, 2013 08:40AM

The NIDDK Bowel Control Awareness Campaign
If you, someone you know, or someone you treat has a bowel control problem, it can be hard to discuss. But talking about the problem is the first step toward management. So, let's talk about bowel control.

Bowel control problems, also called fecal incontinence, are

common
manageable
often treatable
not always a part of aging
On this website, you'll find information to help you start the conversation. Also included are steps people can take on their own that may help improve bowel control.

http://www.bowelcontrol.nih.gov/

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: Gordorsky ()
Date: November 20, 2013 12:03PM

I think I'm going to go home. Feeling down after coming back to my desk, with the usual air freshners, Mr Poopy Pants stickers, and the like. It's frustrating. I'm not trying to ruin colleagues days. I don't wish they had this but understood more.

Options: ReplyQuote
Re: Foods Your Bowels Dont Want
Posted by: BEH ()
Date: November 20, 2013 12:23PM

Because IBS is, for the most part, an "invisible illness," it can be hard for the non-suffferer to "get it".

A lack of understanding often leads to a tendency to minimize the distress of the other person.

Educating yourself about the biology behind the distress can give you insight and help you respond with more empathy.

One way to get started: Remember, in detail, the worst "stomach flu" you ever experienced.

A recall of those physical symptoms that you experienced can give you a glimpse of what it is like to walk in the shoes of someone who suffers from chronic GI distress.

The person best equipped to make decisions regarding how to handle IBS is the person who has IBS.

They knows their body best and have learned from experience what works and what makes things worse. Also, remember that IBS is unpredictable. What works today might not work tomorrow and what was fine last week might not be so fine this week.

The last thing someone needs when they are suffering from severe digestive symptoms is to feel like someone is blaming or judging them for something that they chose to do or chose to eat.

Therefore let them make decisions regarding what to eat, what foods to avoid, and how much to eat.

Options: ReplyQuote
Pages: 1234567891011...LastNext
Current Page: 1 of 121


Your Name: 
Your Email (Optional): 
Subject: 
Attach a file
  • No file can be larger than 75 MB
  • All files together cannot be larger than 300 MB
  • 30 more file(s) can be attached to this message
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
 ********         **   ******    ******   ********  
 **     **        **  **    **  **    **  **     ** 
 **     **        **  **        **        **     ** 
 ********         **  **        **        **     ** 
 **         **    **  **        **        **     ** 
 **         **    **  **    **  **    **  **     ** 
 **          ******    ******    ******   ********  
This forum powered by Phorum.