I've seen these posts about the best bar to watch the V. Tech game or the best place to buy shoes. However, where is the best place in Fairfax to take a shit? I mean, besides one's own house, of course.

My bowels thank you.

The Tysons Corner Gallaria Family Bathroom. I like to go in there strip naked and drop a duece and LOL when Frustrated moms bang on the door and cant get into the toilet.

ferfux Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The Tysons Corner Gallaria Family Bathroom. I
> like to go in there strip naked and drop a duece
> and LOL when Frustrated moms bang on the door and
> cant get into the toilet.


Family bathrooms are great, as are handicapped stalls.

If you are driving around during the day, the best places to take a dump are the better hotels. Any hotel with an elevator is usually ok. Bonus - the dumping grounds are usually located behind the elevator - easy to find.

If you drive for work, get to know where some of the Sheratons, Hiltons, and better Holiday Inns are. Any hotel with 6 plus floors should do.

They never ask you to buy something before you use their facilities
They never question you during the day if you just walk in
They are always clean with plenty of tp
Better ones have free mouthwash and cologne for the taking.
Usually have paper towels and not those damn hand dryers.
The bathrooms are well ventilated, providing comfort to their other guests when you drop a stinker.

In Fairfax County, Fairview Marriott is my favorite off-site dumping grounds. Sheraton Premier in Tysons - second favorite. In DC, on the second floor of the Mayflower Hotel is a small bathroom right off the staircase. It is a one seater so plenty privacy and the antique marble fixtures are a nice touch. I have walked in the hotel past the bellhops with a newspaper under my arms and headed straight to the bathroom. 20 minutes later i left past the same bellhops and no one said a word. But I hd a smile. Once leaving the Mayflower I passed Colin Powell after my date with the second floor.

Hope this helps.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/29/2008 09:17PM by Radiophile.

Oh yeah Radiophile is right! I was over in Reston TOwne Centre once and that Lux Hotel had Primo Bathroom right there on the main floor. I ducked in did my Song and Stank and fled in mindless terror through the night. Beautiful facilities!

Radiophile Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If you are driving around during the day, the best
> places to take a dump are the better hotels. Any
> hotel with an elevator is usually ok. Bonus - the
> dumping grounds are usually located behind the
> elevator - easy to find.
>
> If you drive for work, get to know where some of
> the Sheratons, Hiltons, and better Holiday Inns
> are. Any hotel with 6 plus floors should do.
>
> They never ask you to buy something before you use
> their facilities
> They never question you during the day if you just
> walk in
> They are always clean with plenty of tp
> Better ones have free mouthwash and cologne for
> the taking.
> Usually have paper towels and not those damn hand
> dryers.
> The bathrooms are well ventilated, providing
> comfort to their other guests when you drop a
> stinker.
>
> In Fairfax County, Fairview Marriott is my
> favorite off-site dumping grounds. Sheraton
> Premier in Tysons - second favorite. In DC, on the
> second floor of the Mayflower Hotel is a small
> bathroom right off the staircase. It is a one
> seater so plenty privacy and the antique marble
> fixtures are a nice touch. I have taken a
> newspaper in there to read while oing my business
> and no said a word to me.
>
> Hope this helps.


That's a great suggestion! I especially like those hotel bathrooms with the louvered stall doors that go completely to the floor and ceiling. You can watch peoples' shoes while you shit. Good call!

Which hotels don't charge for parking?

Regarding the use of handicap facilities, I once had a guy in a wheelchair chew me out because he had to wait while I was in the stall. When I came out and he saw that I was not handicapped, he basically bitched me out saying that the stall was not for my use. I felt bad arguing with the guy but he was a total dick about it. I wish I hadn't flushed - but hindsight is 20/20, right?

Radiophile's mom's mouth...she loves it!

on Spunky's face...

I will tell you the tales of my fecal conquests at the Old Keene Mill Flame Kabob. It all happened one night after downing a big lamb kabob and topping it off with a yogurt drink. My lower intestine gave me an emergency calling as the foragers besieged the back gates in turtlehead formation. I visited their facilities and was extremely pleased.

As I entered, I was overwhelmed by the scent of cinnamon rather than sh!t. To my amazement, the bathroom was well designed and decorated with emerald marble tile, high quality porcelain and shimmering faucet works. The bathroom was spotless, Prince Fahd would be delighted to take a sh!t in there. So I proceeded to release my bowels into the majestic porcelain bowl. The relaxing atmosphere permitted me to produce a pleasant and satisfying stool without heaving and much smiling. To my amazement I found a small brass watering can to provide the South Asian tradition of washing one’s ass before lifting one’s pants. I was not aware the provisions were accustomed to such tradition. If I were, I would have engaged in the sacred Washing of the Ass. I then completed my fecal conquest, washed my hands and disposed of the paper towel into the elegant waste bin as I left. There have you, the greatest shithouse Fairfax has to offer please visit.

Correction. The location is NOT Flame Kabob. It is Afghan Kabob near Jax.

I like to go to construction sites and use the Don's Jon. You can take a shit, read poetry and get phone numbers to call on those lonely nights.

Rama19 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Regarding the use of handicap facilities, I once
> had a guy in a wheelchair chew me out because he
> had to wait while I was in the stall. When I came
> out and he saw that I was not handicapped, he
> basically bitched me out saying that the stall was
> not for my use. I felt bad arguing with the guy
> but he was a total dick about it. I wish I hadn't
> flushed - but hindsight is 20/20, right?


That guy's full of shit. You mean if I am in a bathroom and there are two stalls and one is handicapped and there is a line, I'm not supposed to use the handicap one? It's not a fucking parking space. You should have told the guy to fuck off.

Why is it some dumpy restaurants have great restrooms and some high-end restaurants have restrooms that look like they belong in an Exxon station?

The Giant in Annandale....upstairs, but it ain't as good as it used to be.

Back in the day, the toilet seats used to have these purple neon lights that kept them toasty....ya'll are prolly too young to remember....but that was the the best shit in town, by far!

PS: and the pervs used to leave magazines on the floor...perfect to choke that thing to!

Rama19 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Regarding the use of handicap facilities, I once
> had a guy in a wheelchair chew me out because he
> had to wait while I was in the stall. When I came
> out and he saw that I was not handicapped, he
> basically bitched me out saying that the stall was
> not for my use. I felt bad arguing with the guy
> but he was a total dick about it. I wish I hadn't
> flushed - but hindsight is 20/20, right?


If they're handicapped, how do they control how they crap? I thought dead below the waist meant dead below the waist...

ITRADE Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Rama19 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Regarding the use of handicap facilities, I
> once
> > had a guy in a wheelchair chew me out because
> he
> > had to wait while I was in the stall. When I
> came
> > out and he saw that I was not handicapped, he
> > basically bitched me out saying that the stall
> was
> > not for my use. I felt bad arguing with the guy
> > but he was a total dick about it. I wish I
> hadn't
> > flushed - but hindsight is 20/20, right?
>
>
> If they're handicapped, how do they control how
> they crap? I thought dead below the waist meant
> dead below the waist...


Maybe they need a fresh bag.

Pentagon City Ritz Carlton. Private stalls with floor-to-ceiling walls and doors. Marble, cloth towels and of course you can hit the bar by the fireplace after.

Some people mentioned that the Nordstrom's bathroom at Tysons was the place to clear your bowels - and then have them filled right back up....



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/30/2008 10:33AM by ITRADE.

ITRADE Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Some people mentioned that the Nordstrom's
> bathroom at Tysons was the place to clear your
> bowels - and then have them filled right back
> up....


I've used the ones at Dulles Town Center. Not real impressed with those. But then again, that's Loudoun County.

If anyone finds a place with a bidet, let us all know. If there is a bar in the hotel - what a great place for the next FU summit!

Id prefer one of the Japanese style toilets that have "noise" cancelling technology.

OBFXU: I had a friend who lived in the DC area for a lot of years. One of his great pleasures in life was to fart as loud as he could in confined spaces (e.g., Metro, elevators, aircrat), just to see the reaction of others.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/30/2008 10:53AM by ITRADE.

This is a fascinating discussion of the merits of the various methods of clean up used in different societies. Be sure to read the discussion thread too:


Let's talk crap

Our frank interview about human waste may horrify you about how the world cleans itself down there.

By Katharine Mieszkowski


http://www.salon.com/books/int/2008/10/16/big_necessity/index.html

dono Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Pentagon City Ritz Carlton. Private stalls with
> floor-to-ceiling walls and doors. Marble, cloth
> towels and of course you can hit the bar by the
> fireplace after.

Thanks! I am on way way! (hope I can hold it).

Is it legal to use the handicapped restroom or stall if the regular one is taken? And even if it’s legal, is it polite?

Although the blue-signed handicapped parking spaces are legally restricted, there are no laws about who is allowed to use a restroom or stall designated for the handicapped, says Thomas Schmokel, a consultant who helps businesses comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act. If there are disabled people around, it’s impolite to use the handicapped restroom or stall ahead of them, but if not, you can use whichever one you want. “If you like more room or need a place to hang your newspaper, it’s fine,” Schmokel says.

If anyone finds a place with cloth towels and a bidet - certainly do not be selfish and let the rest of know.

Libertarian1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is it legal to use the handicapped restroom or
> stall if the regular one is taken? And even if
> it’s legal, is it polite?
>
> Although the blue-signed handicapped parking
> spaces are legally restricted, there are no laws
> about who is allowed to use a restroom or stall
> designated for the handicapped, says Thomas
> Schmokel, a consultant who helps businesses comply
> with the Americans with Disabilities Act. If there
> are disabled people around, it’s impolite to use
> the handicapped restroom or stall ahead of them,
> but if not, you can use whichever one you want.
> “If you like more room or need a place to hang
> your newspaper, it’s fine,” Schmokel says.


I have never, ever seen a public restroom where guys stood in line while a handicap stall was empty. But I agree, if I were in the restroom and a handicapped person needed the stall, I would let him use it before me.

Hey FUNdamental - how was the ritz carlton?

I'm a big fan of doing upper deckers at parties.

Any professional building has hallway bathrooms which are maintained by a cleaning staff. Most are decent to drop nukes in.

]\



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2012 12:48PM by Alias.

496 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm a big fan of doing upper deckers at parties.


For those of you who dont know what an Upper Decker is - it is a cruel joke. Basically, you take the lid off the tank and drop a load "in the upper deck". It makes the water turn brown for the next users and it a bitch to clean once the party hosts figure out what happened.

Alias Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> Radiophile:
> “If you drive for work, get to know where some of
> the Sheratons, Hiltons, and better Holiday Inns
> are. Any hotel with 6 plus floors should do.”
>
> Just pull into a Hampton Inn. You can do your
> business and grab a cup of coffee to go.


OMG - Alias responded to one of my posts and DID NOT call me a faggot! This is one for the memory book!

\



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2012 12:42PM by Alias.

Radiophile Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Alias Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
>
> >
> > Radiophile:
> > “If you drive for work, get to know where some
> of
> > the Sheratons, Hiltons, and better Holiday Inns
> > are. Any hotel with 6 plus floors should do.”
> >
> > Just pull into a Hampton Inn. You can do your
> > business and grab a cup of coffee to go.
>
>
> OMG - Alias responded to one of my posts and DID
> NOT call me a faggot! This is one for the memory
> book!


You fucking faggot!!!

.
Attachments:

You got to have an ET on hand!

The emergency toilet.
Attachments:

i would murder the emergency toilet.

My special drop zone is the tysons ll bean downstairs bathroom. Nice and private, fairly clean, what more can you ask for?

Any toilet

WashingToneLocian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I've seen these posts about the best bar to watch
> the V. Tech game or the best place to buy shoes.
> However, where is the best place in Fairfax to
> take a shit? I mean, besides one's own house, of
> course.
>
> My bowels thank you.


The you put "Sh.t" down instead of writing it out? Hell's that all about? Still creates the image in one's mind of the word shit. I don't know why people do this. Not too bright I guess.

WashingToneLocian Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Why is it some dumpy restaurants have great
> restrooms and some high-end restaurants have
> restrooms that look like they belong in an Exxon
> station?



if a restaurant has dirty bathrooms the kitchen is probably dirty too.

The Vatican. When you gotta go, you gotta go.