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Fairfax Underground
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Welcome to Fairfax Underground, a project site designed to improve communication among residents of Fairfax County, VA. Feel free to post anything Northern Virginia residents would find interesting.
Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: August 29, 2013 10:23AM
Do not eat doughnuts, half a gallon of milk with coffee as my plumbing is in arrears. I sat on the commode, arms arched up like a praying mantis trying to unload this asteroid hard rock of shit from the back door. Alas jettisoning the contaminants was a failure, but the awful scent and strange stares in the men's room were awkward to say the least.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: August 29, 2013 10:47AM
Thank your for sharing your tale of woe.
Although often ignored, lower digestive distress is something we can all relate to, but sadly, many are reluctant to tell their own tales of colonic misery.
We can beat constipation if we band together. With a united front , we can put the stopper on diarrhea.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/29/2013 10:47AM by BEH.
Although often ignored, lower digestive distress is something we can all relate to, but sadly, many are reluctant to tell their own tales of colonic misery.
We can beat constipation if we band together. With a united front , we can put the stopper on diarrhea.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/29/2013 10:47AM by BEH.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Joe Johnson
()
Date: August 29, 2013 11:28AM
I took Accutane when I was 18 and that drug fucked me up. My bowels have never been the same. I have to see a Gastro doctor on a regular basis.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: August 29, 2013 12:47PM
Joe and Beh thank you for your solid support of this most delicate of issues and tissues. I just sat on the throne and did the bowel groan for thirty minutes or so. It was as if squeezing out little pebbles and its going to be sometime before I can sit down, without appearing to be resting my laurels on hot coals. I've ordered some curry and cabbage, hoping this will provide relief.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: August 29, 2013 12:58PM
Gordorski, you are a hero, a Sir Edmund Hillary of the rectum, the Alan Shepard of skat.
Through you, all of us who suffer from the various anal syndromes , can find comfort in our colonic camaraderie , and possibly some day, relief.
Through you, all of us who suffer from the various anal syndromes , can find comfort in our colonic camaraderie , and possibly some day, relief.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: August 29, 2013 02:07PM
Thank you Beh for the bestowing of bowel appropriate accolades, but I'm just a mere man, in a stall with a Yankee scented candle singing kumbeyah. I appreciate your support because the curry and cabbage had its desired effect, but alas I'm running out of towels to clean up the stall. This is of grave concern because while there's no pressure on my colon, how am I going to contend with the stares and snickering from my co workers? Is the smell from the bathroom, force my boss into a tight squeeze, and force him to be boxed in with regards to my fecal failures? I sit at my desk feeling lighter but burdened by my bowels.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: August 30, 2013 02:10PM
I feel uncomfortable with my co workers, as someone anonymously left tissue paper on my desk.I hope that my new diet of crab apples, oatmeal, and grapes will allow for both speedier and less stench filled trips to the bathroom.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: August 30, 2013 02:30PM
It sounds like you may be working in an office full of people who discriminate against those with colon issues.
Gosh darn Bowelists!
Gosh darn Bowelists!
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
mineohmine
()
Date: August 30, 2013 02:51PM
Mine just turned from sludge to mini cannon balls which is a delight to feel a change at least which is alsos easier to wipe up afterwards.
Poo will always be the corner stone of my manhood.
Poo will always be the corner stone of my manhood.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 02, 2013 10:44AM
I'm fretting about the labor day barbecue at my house, as laboring my poor bowels might be part of the equation. I don't want to make the throne groan but I'm going to the store, and am curious if anyone has ideas for bowel friendly foods. My family is understanding of my posterior problems, but friends and co workers are not so much. How do I guarantee cooking and eating foods that won't be confused with a Syrian gas attack?
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 02, 2013 11:54AM
You cannot say I didn't warn you, as I excreted potato salad and blocks of cheese, with enough effort to cause my foreheads veins to protrude. They weren't kidding about sharp cheddar, as it caused stabbing pains in my stomach before leaving the Bombay doors. No one can or should use my upstairs bathroom without signing the waiver first.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
eesh
()
Date: September 02, 2013 03:54PM
Hot green tea, or four bottles of Honest Tea. It will flush you right out.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 03, 2013 03:59PM
Eesh thank you for your kind advice, as I'm literally in the battle of my life. My ass is on the line and I don't think my innards can handle much more of this. It's either pebbles or a river with class five rapids, and they are so fast that there's simply no time for Brown capping. The lumps and bumps along the digestive journey have been an adventure, so its time for tea and crumpets
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 03, 2013 04:18PM
Eesh do you have any helpful hints of the Heloise variety about the odors after dropping a deuce? My coworkers in the office are rude, one person put a roll of toilet paper on my desk, another left a febreeze bottle. The second item might seem helpful, but that and a courtesy flush only temporarily mask the aromas from the pile.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
eesh
()
Date: September 03, 2013 04:40PM
No, but those little cans of Starbucks Doubleshot are great for bowel movements too.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
bloody blisters
()
Date: September 04, 2013 01:27AM
eesh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> No, but those little cans of Starbucks Doubleshot
> are great for bowel movements too.
+1, those and a cigarette leaves you pooping with no regret.
Attachments:
-------------------------------------------------------
> No, but those little cans of Starbucks Doubleshot
> are great for bowel movements too.
+1, those and a cigarette leaves you pooping with no regret.
Attachments:
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 04, 2013 02:18PM
Thank you both bloody blisters, an appropriate name considered,and to Eesh. Today my rectums seismic activity has been within reason, but I don't appreciate my co workers coughing loudly, or making snide remarks while I'm commencing bombs away on the groan throne. Who are they to judge especially when I'm polite enough for a courtesy flush.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 05, 2013 12:29PM
Today its been a mixed bag as earlier I was able to defecate with ease, as those sunny side up eggs and Carnation milkshake cleared the pipes. Yet now it appears my lower GI the spot so very near pretty much the next door neighbor to my rectum is backed up again. Is there a safe and foolproof Drano type of treatment, or is this type of episode call for fisting to clear things up?This is a pain in the ass and cannot continue.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Really....
()
Date: September 05, 2013 07:46PM
I also took Accutane about 12 to 14 years ago and my bowels are fucked. I had zero issues until I was a teenager on that drug. Now I have IBS. WTF
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 06, 2013 07:49AM
Accutane might as well be assapain from what you and the other person has aptly described. My heart is with both of you, because like you, I suffer from bowel problems of unspeakable size, along with mean spirited co workers that don't understand regular digs from mud at the bottom of the pond. We must stand, or sit United as even with veins popping out of our foreheads, uncomfortable grimaced, profuse sweating, groaning and moaning, we must not give up, yield, or let our below average bowels dictate our strength and dignity.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: September 06, 2013 07:56AM
You can count me in Gordorski, as a brother in arms, or maybe more accurately, brother in bowels.
United we eliminate comfortably, divided we strain on the bowl.
United we eliminate comfortably, divided we strain on the bowl.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 07, 2013 07:52AM
BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You can count me in Gordorski, as a brother in
> arms, or maybe more accurately, brother in bowels.
>
>
> United we eliminate comfortably, divided we strain
> on the wl.
Thank you for your support BEH, because while on the groan throne, we must never waver, even as our nether regions defy us to give up. Winston Churchills famous rousing speech of "never never never give up" could easily apply to our intestines and rectums. We might have to push, scream, hold on to the railing for support, but this is where legends are born. Our coworkers might not find our time on the toilet inspiring and might make disparaging remarks, but they will never take away our honor, courage, and dedication to defecation away.
-------------------------------------------------------
> You can count me in Gordorski, as a brother in
> arms, or maybe more accurately, brother in bowels.
>
>
> United we eliminate comfortably, divided we strain
> on the wl.
Thank you for your support BEH, because while on the groan throne, we must never waver, even as our nether regions defy us to give up. Winston Churchills famous rousing speech of "never never never give up" could easily apply to our intestines and rectums. We might have to push, scream, hold on to the railing for support, but this is where legends are born. Our coworkers might not find our time on the toilet inspiring and might make disparaging remarks, but they will never take away our honor, courage, and dedication to defecation away.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 07, 2013 01:28PM
It's with profound gratefulness to Bloody Blisters and Eesh, as I was highly successful with a bowel movement.That double shot and cigarette worked well, although it cam, on a bit quick . The brown matter was more of the splatter variety a veritable Hershey soft serve that required a lot of wiping. This didn't help the roids from that perspective, but the lack of straining will probably pay dividends.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Waelock 667
()
Date: September 08, 2013 09:01AM
My ass had a blast
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
bloody blisters
()
Date: September 08, 2013 11:56AM
Gordorski Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's with profound gratefulness to Bloody Blisters
> and Eesh, as I was highly successful with a bowel
> movement.That double shot and cigarette worked
> well, although it cam, on a bit quick . The brown
> matter was more of the splatter variety a
> veritable Hershey soft serve that required a lot
> of wiping. This didn't help the roids from that
> perspective, but the lack of straining will
> probably pay dividends.
i bow to bowels, its a respectable matter when it comes to the splatter. when others suffer im here to help with the production of the brown kelp. just so you know, ICU.... both interpretations
Attachments:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's with profound gratefulness to Bloody Blisters
> and Eesh, as I was highly successful with a bowel
> movement.That double shot and cigarette worked
> well, although it cam, on a bit quick . The brown
> matter was more of the splatter variety a
> veritable Hershey soft serve that required a lot
> of wiping. This didn't help the roids from that
> perspective, but the lack of straining will
> probably pay dividends.
i bow to bowels, its a respectable matter when it comes to the splatter. when others suffer im here to help with the production of the brown kelp. just so you know, ICU.... both interpretations
Attachments:
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 08, 2013 12:12PM
And this is appreciated, because as you know, brown splatter from fecal matter is not something pleasant. It's not as if a person can leave residue all over the toilet or staldoors, without severe ramifications. This isn't a quick soap water and spray of Febreeze fix, this is going to requirsomee serious maintenance.
I'm off to the Slavic Festival in Falls Church, and hope the sausages and Borscht will not cause gaseous anomalies or having to dispose of one drawers. It's my sincerest hope that if there is thunder down below, I can crouch behind a car to take a crap as needed. While sometimes you have to push it back in, this would not be the ideal venue.
I'm off to the Slavic Festival in Falls Church, and hope the sausages and Borscht will not cause gaseous anomalies or having to dispose of one drawers. It's my sincerest hope that if there is thunder down below, I can crouch behind a car to take a crap as needed. While sometimes you have to push it back in, this would not be the ideal venue.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 09, 2013 10:25AM
I am sick and tired of the snickering, the snide comments while I'm on the bowl hoisting away. Yesterdays Slavic Festival was fun, as I ate well and even got away with crouching down by a Cao take a relatively painless crap. There was no screaming, teeth gnashing, forehead vein popping, and I do believe the woman who saw nme with the Cheshire cat grin knew I took the dump that attracted the flies there and to the Borscht. Yet nothing was said, which is a stark contrast to work. I think its time to meet with HR about this.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Tough One
()
Date: September 09, 2013 11:21AM
Is this the Slavic Party? Your posts suck shit
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 09, 2013 01:06PM
Tough One Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is this the Slavic Party? Your posts suck shit
I'm sorry you don't like my posts, but perhaps its their delicacy, along with the scope of fecal activity that you don't like. Consider yourself blessed that you don't scream at the groan throne, drop humongous logs of fudge, nor have co workers whom are unsympathetic to ones bowels being far from cooperative. I plan on seeing HR, as the car odor fighting tree on my desk is offensive.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is this the Slavic Party? Your posts suck shit
I'm sorry you don't like my posts, but perhaps its their delicacy, along with the scope of fecal activity that you don't like. Consider yourself blessed that you don't scream at the groan throne, drop humongous logs of fudge, nor have co workers whom are unsympathetic to ones bowels being far from cooperative. I plan on seeing HR, as the car odor fighting tree on my desk is offensive.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 10, 2013 11:31AM
I just got out of my bosses office, and it stinks of harassment. The Cruela de Villa woman said that my bowel problems, were detrimental to not just me, but the entire office. I've now been banished to the bathroom on the third floor is, which is right next to human resources. This stinks to high hell and there must be Americans with Bowels Act in legislation somewhere.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 10, 2013 01:41PM
I am getting agitated and might have to not only consult with HR, but considering an attorney. Having a rectum that is suffering enough isn't easy, but its not like I'm wafting the odors from the groan throne around. A unknown co worker put gas x and a Mr Hanky doll on my desk. It's bad enough having to squirm or bite fanbelts on the groan throne but this is painful. The bowels are just like any other body part, and to make crude jokes or leaving items on my desk is harassing.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 11, 2013 01:48PM
I go out to lunch, drop a giant elephant sized stool sample in my newly assigned bathroom, and yet the harassment continues. There are hundreds of sewage and Dons Johns stickers and magnets on my desk, along with what appears to be a Baby Ruth candy bar. Yep I'm going to HR.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
liberal logic 27
()
Date: September 11, 2013 02:34PM
This thread should meet the fisting thread...
http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/read/40/1303782.html
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/11/2013 02:34PM by liberal logic 27.
http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/read/40/1303782.html
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/11/2013 02:34PM by liberal logic 27.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 12, 2013 04:24PM
I had to sit at my boss's desk for an hour with quivering bowels, as he explained that my body odors are a distraction in a business environment. Can you believe this crap? I have tried OTC and prescribed medical methods to dispense with the fecal follies, but to no avail. Between the magnets, stickers, covered noses of co workers, snickering, and fake coughing, this shit is getting old.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 16, 2013 09:16AM
This shit sucks, as I now have had my desk placed outside the building. While my boss was kind enough to give me a picnic table umbrella due to the rain, what does he think this is going to do for productivity. Now I have to walk considerable distance to the bathroom with bowels of questionable value.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 16, 2013 12:41PM
An unexpected surprise as my boss allowed me back inside after the rain got heavy. He did say Brown splatter would not be appreciated, so I drank a gallon of pepco, and ate a block of cheese.I hope this holds.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: September 16, 2013 03:08PM
Clinical application of continent anal plug
PURPOSE: Some patients experience poor control of bowel movement.
This causes fecal leakage and diarrhea, increases the risk of perianal excoriation and is a burden .
To evaluate the efficacy of fecal evacuation in intractable diarrhea patients using a new device.
METHODS: A continent anal plug (US Patent No. 5 569 216) comprises an inner balloon surrounded by an outer balloon, both of which are mounted on a silicone tube containing a pair of air passages and an enema fluid inlet.
The tube is secured in place in the rectum by the inflatable outer balloon and is designed to drain fecal matter through a thin collapsible hose situated in the anal canal.
RESULTS: The continent anal plug evacuated efficiently in those patients with loose or watery stools who only required irrigation once daily or not at all.
Minimal leakage was seen around the anus. There was no anorectal mucosal injury noted over 37 days.
CONCLUSIONS: The continent anal plug is an efficient method of treating patients with loss of bowel control and incontinence because it enables controlled fecal evacuation without causing anorectal mucosal injury.
PURPOSE: Some patients experience poor control of bowel movement.
This causes fecal leakage and diarrhea, increases the risk of perianal excoriation and is a burden .
To evaluate the efficacy of fecal evacuation in intractable diarrhea patients using a new device.
METHODS: A continent anal plug (US Patent No. 5 569 216) comprises an inner balloon surrounded by an outer balloon, both of which are mounted on a silicone tube containing a pair of air passages and an enema fluid inlet.
The tube is secured in place in the rectum by the inflatable outer balloon and is designed to drain fecal matter through a thin collapsible hose situated in the anal canal.
RESULTS: The continent anal plug evacuated efficiently in those patients with loose or watery stools who only required irrigation once daily or not at all.
Minimal leakage was seen around the anus. There was no anorectal mucosal injury noted over 37 days.
CONCLUSIONS: The continent anal plug is an efficient method of treating patients with loss of bowel control and incontinence because it enables controlled fecal evacuation without causing anorectal mucosal injury.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 16, 2013 03:46PM
BEH thank you for insightful and a kind idea, as this plug might just be, the solution to taming the beast. Whether backed up or running at Colorado flooding, my asshole is tired. There's just not many avenues left, and fisting made me very nervous, although for thkse stalagmite shits it mig have to be that left as a possibility.
It's refreshing to know someonoe has provided good info, and my rectum gives a round of applause.
It's refreshing to know someonoe has provided good info, and my rectum gives a round of applause.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 17, 2013 08:26AM
To the people at the gourmet bistro this morning I apologize for the little mess. It wasn't intentional and on a plus side , at least they are wooden seats, thus all that is needed is a cleaning liquid, a sponge, perhaps some paper towels, and an employee with a strong stomach.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 19, 2013 02:24PM
Frustrated again and I'm afraid its going to lead to more brown matter hitting the fan. It's humiliating to not only have to meet your boss, human resources, and the company lawyer about bowel problems. Isn't there some sort of breach of privacy, with regards to federal regulations, because frankly I don't like my rear end being the butt of jokes and discussions such as this.
It's one extreme or the other, blockages that require some sort of fisting, or rivers of shit rolling down the Hershey Highway.
It's one extreme or the other, blockages that require some sort of fisting, or rivers of shit rolling down the Hershey Highway.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
myissues
()
Date: September 19, 2013 02:35PM
you know you got it real bad when you gotta hold it in because your drivin then you walk to the door of your house and get inside and take off your shoes then the feeling of needing to poop stops so you do not go.
THen hours later the feeling comes back so you go to the bathroom and sit and nothing comes out.
So you wait 2 more hours to try to guess when it will naturally force its way out.
By this time now the feeling to go is constant. Not only the feeling but now you have to go so bad but it refuses to come out and now the force is pushhing inside on your lower back and now you have back pain because you can not poop!
EXLAX to the rescue YAY!!
THen hours later the feeling comes back so you go to the bathroom and sit and nothing comes out.
So you wait 2 more hours to try to guess when it will naturally force its way out.
By this time now the feeling to go is constant. Not only the feeling but now you have to go so bad but it refuses to come out and now the force is pushhing inside on your lower back and now you have back pain because you can not poop!
EXLAX to the rescue YAY!!
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 19, 2013 02:42PM
Yes I've had that feeling also, thank you as its good to know you are not alone in the battle of the bowels. Deep down we must persevere, and stand up, or sit down as needed. I'm not sure what the ex lax is but I'm going to look into this, as I'm either exhausted from squeezing my rectum tightly or having to push it back in.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 20, 2013 07:51AM
I feel as if today is going to be one of unheralded accomplishments at the office, as this morning I dropped a Lincoln log that was causing a blockage much similar to any morning commute on 495. I would like to thank the person who suggested Ex lax. I took all of it, and am cleared out and ready for a great Friday without worrying about the fire down below.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
easydoesit
()
Date: September 20, 2013 12:58PM
Exlax works but also eating lots of coolwhip does the same as exlax.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorski
()
Date: September 20, 2013 04:02PM
easydoesit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Exlax works but also eating lots of coolwhip does
> the same as exlax.
That is very useful information. I might just have to get ten tubs and bulk up, so that I can taste something better than ex lax. My bowels and taste buds both applaud and thank you for your service.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Exlax works but also eating lots of coolwhip does
> the same as exlax.
That is very useful information. I might just have to get ten tubs and bulk up, so that I can taste something better than ex lax. My bowels and taste buds both applaud and thank you for your service.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: October 01, 2013 08:13AM
Do not I repeat do not eat bagels with salmon spread. It's more than a fishy issue as it led to an excruciating experience in the bathroom this morning. I hope my boss does not ask to see me in his office,because I might have missed something, as the aroma just is fishy and unpleasant.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
have no fear
()
Date: October 01, 2013 08:18AM
Gordorsky, don't worry, enrollment in OBAMACARE begins today!!! Your bowel problems are cured!!!!!
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: October 01, 2013 08:24AM
have no fear Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Gordorsky, don't worry, enrollment in OBAMACARE
> begins today!!! Your bowel problems are
> cured!!!!!
Thank goodness for the kindness of President Obama, he is a nice man. I voted as an American citizen for the first time in 2012, and feel good about my choice. If he's covering my ass, he's got my behind, then I must continue to rear up in support of this kind man.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Gordorsky, don't worry, enrollment in OBAMACARE
> begins today!!! Your bowel problems are
> cured!!!!!
Thank goodness for the kindness of President Obama, he is a nice man. I voted as an American citizen for the first time in 2012, and feel good about my choice. If he's covering my ass, he's got my behind, then I must continue to rear up in support of this kind man.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Sy=tupid-Assed Teabagger Scum
()
Date: October 01, 2013 09:40AM
Gordorski Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Do not eat doughnuts, half a gallon of milk with
> coffee as my plumbing is in arrears. I sat on the
> commode, arms arched up like a praying mantis
> trying to unload this asteroid hard rock of shit
> from the back door. Alas jettisoning the
> contaminants was a failure, but the awful scent
> and strange stares in the men's room were awkward
> to say the least.
Obviously, Obama is responsible!
-------------------------------------------------------
> Do not eat doughnuts, half a gallon of milk with
> coffee as my plumbing is in arrears. I sat on the
> commode, arms arched up like a praying mantis
> trying to unload this asteroid hard rock of shit
> from the back door. Alas jettisoning the
> contaminants was a failure, but the awful scent
> and strange stares in the men's room were awkward
> to say the least.
Obviously, Obama is responsible!
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: October 01, 2013 09:52AM
Why are you so hard on our President? He works long hours, makes tough decisions, even has to stand in front of cameras when he has to take a shit. He's under the public eye constantly, and who knows, maybe this health care law was created due to having poppy pants.give the man a break.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: October 01, 2013 11:16AM
Gordo!
May I suggest.....
Dr. Truc Thi Thanh Trinh MD is a female Internist, has 10 years of experience and practices in Internal Medicine and Gastroenterology.
Plus, her fingernails are trimmed.
http://www.vitals.com/doctors/Dr_Truc_Trinh.html#ixzz2gU3MVV1w
Doctor Reviews and Ratings
Follow us: @Vitals on Twitter | Vitals on Facebook
Attachments:
May I suggest.....
Dr. Truc Thi Thanh Trinh MD is a female Internist, has 10 years of experience and practices in Internal Medicine and Gastroenterology.
Plus, her fingernails are trimmed.
http://www.vitals.com/doctors/Dr_Truc_Trinh.html#ixzz2gU3MVV1w
Doctor Reviews and Ratings
Follow us: @Vitals on Twitter | Vitals on Facebook
Attachments:
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: October 01, 2013 11:39AM
Beh thank you, as this doctor is easy on the eyes, and with those trimmed nails, the brown eye is less of a worry. The only thing I'm concerned about, since she's obviously Vietnamese, fisting might be an option on the table.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: October 01, 2013 12:05PM
Gord, in this case, fisting may be a blessing.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: October 01, 2013 12:12PM
Beh that could be, and while the American motto of "no pain no gain" is a good mindset, its the application or execution of the fisting which is of concern. If you are of Slavic background or ancestory, you know of our industrious approach to life, and improvising being a value.
She probably has small hands, but any sized fist is going to leave a mark. Plus containing the screamingin a doctor's office makes me nervous.
She probably has small hands, but any sized fist is going to leave a mark. Plus containing the screamingin a doctor's office makes me nervous.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: October 01, 2013 12:24PM
I too am Slavic, and a sufferer of rectal maladies.
The problem with fisting Gordo, is when it is attempted by a non trained individual.
Dr. Trinh is a highly trained practitioner of the Anal Arts,a prerequisite to any highly regarded Gastrointestinal MD.
Not only that, but shes held in high esteem by her peers, who all laud her fisting ability.
Believe me, with Dr. Trinh, you're not only in good hands,but if it comes to that, you'll be in good fist.
Or should I say, the good fist will be in?
The problem with fisting Gordo, is when it is attempted by a non trained individual.
Dr. Trinh is a highly trained practitioner of the Anal Arts,a prerequisite to any highly regarded Gastrointestinal MD.
Not only that, but shes held in high esteem by her peers, who all laud her fisting ability.
Believe me, with Dr. Trinh, you're not only in good hands,but if it comes to that, you'll be in good fist.
Or should I say, the good fist will be in?
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: October 01, 2013 01:36PM
Beh,
Not only is it good to have a person with bowel problems providing guidance, but at the same time a slav. Perhaps the best question regarding our infarmies is genetics or foods from our regions affecting our nether regions. It is liberating and I thank you for your help, as this is literally tearing the ass out of me.
Perhaps you are correct, Dr Trinh is qualified. I just hope she has an office where the screams can be muffled, or perhaps she has a mouth gag ball. I am nervous as there is trepidation about a hand up my rear end.it seems to go against the grain, as that's an exit not an entrance.
I'm going to ponder this more, but am leading to Dr Trinhs expertise.
Dasvidanya spaseba
Not only is it good to have a person with bowel problems providing guidance, but at the same time a slav. Perhaps the best question regarding our infarmies is genetics or foods from our regions affecting our nether regions. It is liberating and I thank you for your help, as this is literally tearing the ass out of me.
Perhaps you are correct, Dr Trinh is qualified. I just hope she has an office where the screams can be muffled, or perhaps she has a mouth gag ball. I am nervous as there is trepidation about a hand up my rear end.it seems to go against the grain, as that's an exit not an entrance.
I'm going to ponder this more, but am leading to Dr Trinhs expertise.
Dasvidanya spaseba
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Sux to be u shit
()
Date: October 01, 2013 02:12PM
Your issue
Attachments:
Attachments:
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: October 01, 2013 06:26PM
Those look like twins!
To Gordo: Przepraszamy, mowic tylko polskie.
To Gordo: Przepraszamy, mowic tylko polskie.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: October 02, 2013 01:33PM
Beh and all brothers of bowel issues, today it appears my asshole is cooperating. You can't take these days for granted.
Ahij blizniho z polska jsem ze Slovenska
Ahij blizniho z polska jsem ze Slovenska
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: October 02, 2013 08:37PM
HovorÃm trochu slovensky.
Zeny v Bratislave je dobre vyzerajuci.
Rad pocujem, su prdel lepsie.
Zeny v Bratislave je dobre vyzerajuci.
Rad pocujem, su prdel lepsie.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Gordorsky
()
Date: October 03, 2013 12:54PM
Spaseba BEH,
I wish I could type more in Slovak but right now the pain has temporary shut down my native tongue.Instead I crouch on the toilet, not screaming like Obi Wan described from Alderon in Star Wars. There are plenty of asteroids in this mine field, that Han Solos odds wouldn't help him. A wretched day at work.
I wish I could type more in Slovak but right now the pain has temporary shut down my native tongue.Instead I crouch on the toilet, not screaming like Obi Wan described from Alderon in Star Wars. There are plenty of asteroids in this mine field, that Han Solos odds wouldn't help him. A wretched day at work.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: October 03, 2013 07:29PM
Another possible reason your bowels are in an uproar gordo, is the fact that you have forsaken your native cuisine.
All the donuts, cheese and bagels you eat are not conducive to the genetic Slovak digestive system.
May I suggest returning to your roots to relieve the toots?
Kapustnica,plum dumplings,segedin goulash,bryndzove halusky,hemendex, all washed down with a refreshing Urpiner.
This American food will kill you.
All the donuts, cheese and bagels you eat are not conducive to the genetic Slovak digestive system.
May I suggest returning to your roots to relieve the toots?
Kapustnica,plum dumplings,segedin goulash,bryndzove halusky,hemendex, all washed down with a refreshing Urpiner.
This American food will kill you.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
Asspounder
()
Date: October 03, 2013 07:32PM
Perhaps you've been undertaking a bit too much fudgepacking?
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
BEH
()
Date: October 03, 2013 07:46PM
Asspounder Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Perhaps you've been undertaking a bit too much
> fudgepacking?
According to Dr. Truc Thi Thanh Trinh MD ,considered the worlds foremost Ano-Recto expert, "insertion of any device or object into the anal opening is not recommended, and thouroughly discouraged, unless supervised or administered by a licensed practitioner of the advanced Rectal procedures".
I hope this helps.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Perhaps you've been undertaking a bit too much
> fudgepacking?
According to Dr. Truc Thi Thanh Trinh MD ,considered the worlds foremost Ano-Recto expert, "insertion of any device or object into the anal opening is not recommended, and thouroughly discouraged, unless supervised or administered by a licensed practitioner of the advanced Rectal procedures".
I hope this helps.
Re: Bowel Problems
Posted by:
pXFb4
()
Date: October 03, 2013 07:48PM
BEH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Asspounder Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Perhaps you've been undertaking a bit too much
> > fudgepacking?
>
> According to Dr. Truc Thi Thanh Trinh MD
> ,considered the worlds foremost Ano-Recto expert,
> "insertion of any device or object into the anal
> opening is not recommended, and thouroughly
> discouraged, unless supervised or administered by
> a licensed practitioner of the advanced Rectal
> procedures".
>
> I hope this helps.
Don't let Rectum Wrecker see this.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Asspounder Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Perhaps you've been undertaking a bit too much
> > fudgepacking?
>
> According to Dr. Truc Thi Thanh Trinh MD
> ,considered the worlds foremost Ano-Recto expert,
> "insertion of any device or object into the anal
> opening is not recommended, and thouroughly
> discouraged, unless supervised or administered by
> a licensed practitioner of the advanced Rectal
> procedures".
>
> I hope this helps.
Don't let Rectum Wrecker see this.