Saw this on CL this morn.
Feel free to comment.

"I am 28/F, recently divorced. I started going to bars with friends this summer, and noticed a startling trend in men. It seems that many men won't buy drinks for women anymore. I remember when I was in college, guys would buy drinks as an ice breaker, it was flattering. Now it seems that guys won't buy drinks until the conversation is started and is going somewhere.

I was at happy hour recently, there were probably 100 people at the bar, but it wasn't busy. I saw this guy checking me out and gave him the signs that I needed a drink, he came up to talk to me instead. Don't get me wrong, the conversation was great but it took almost 45 minutes before he bought me the first drink. I had to buy 2 drinks before he bought me one, then I had to buy him one. I wound up spending almost $100.00 that night, WTF! We exchanged numbers and he called me a few days later and I asked him why he wouldn't buy me a drink. He seemed annoyed with the question and said that women get offended if you buy them drinks, then they get offended if you don't. He said that some women refuse to accept a drink or feel that it is "payment in advance".

Can I go on the record and state that women are not offended when a guy buys a drink, we actually rely on free drinks. Please don't be afraid, I can guarantee that women are not really offended and are not expecting to give anything in return for your drink. It is like holding the door open or letting us out of the elevator first, it is chivalry and common decency to buy the first drink."

496 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Saw this on CL this morn.
> Feel free to comment.
>
> "I am 28/F, recently divorced. I started going to
> bars with friends this summer, and noticed a
> startling trend in men. It seems that many men
> won't buy drinks for women anymore. I remember
> when I was in college, guys would buy drinks as an
> ice breaker, it was flattering. Now it seems that
> guys won't buy drinks until the conversation is
> started and is going somewhere.
>
> I was at happy hour recently, there were probably
> 100 people at the bar, but it wasn't busy. I saw
> this guy checking me out and gave him the signs
> that I needed a drink, he came up to talk to me
> instead. Don't get me wrong, the conversation was
> great but it took almost 45 minutes before he
> bought me the first drink. I had to buy 2 drinks
> before he bought me one, then I had to buy him
> one. I wound up spending almost $100.00 that
> night, WTF! We exchanged numbers and he called me
> a few days later and I asked him why he wouldn't
> buy me a drink. He seemed annoyed with the
> question and said that women get offended if you
> buy them drinks, then they get offended if you
> don't. He said that some women refuse to accept a
> drink or feel that it is "payment in advance".
>
> Can I go on the record and state that women are
> not offended when a guy buys a drink, we actually
> rely on free drinks. Please don't be afraid, I can
> guarantee that women are not really offended and
> are not expecting to give anything in return for
> your drink. It is like holding the door open or
> letting us out of the elevator first, it is
> chivalry and common decency to buy the first
> drink."

Jeez, how is it possible that this gem is divorced!?!

Barfly Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Jeez, how is it possible that this gem is
> divorced!?!


+1 with a bullet

I went on a date with a chick that got seriously offended when I got the door of the car for her. We went to a nice restaurant and I got another awful grimace when I held the door for her there. Then, the final straw broke when I went to pay the bill. She insisted that we go "dutch", which is like someone kicking me in the balls.

It dawned on me then that the days of chivalry and gentlemen, which I grew up with and still believe in are coming to an end and the "emo" era is upon us. Women are more manly and men are far more womanly today and everyone is all mixed up.

These days if a guy makes the first move on a chick, they call it rape. Because of the internet, dating has become like a big buffet table. You try one thing, then move on to the next if it isn't perfect.

Smart men know not to buy a woman a drink until you get something in return, a dance, a talk where the chick shows sincere interest, or a move outside or a move away from her chick companions at the bar. Buying a drink as an ice breaker is cheesy, not a good look, and there are many chicks out there that save money by relying on men they have no interest in to buy them drinks. Moving her out of her comfort zone shows that she has interest and you are not wasting your time. You can then pay for her alcohol.

Chivalry is not dead, but when dating there needs to be goodwill on both sides. If you take a chick out to dinner three times and pay each time, the next time you see her, she should plan and pay for the date. You have now moved from dating towards building a relationship.

Or, has Match.com screwed that up?

Perhaps it is the women who screwed it up? I have seen my friends buy many a drink and the lady would giggle and rfeturn to her friends. And I have been to places where the lady will not leave her friend(s) and the guy has to buy all of them drinks.

Tel Aviv Grill in Rockville was the worst. My friend used to drag me there. The girls would gladly accept a free drink then send you on your way. They did this all night. If you weren't marrying potential, "thanks for the drink buddy now move on". Yet they would never refuse a drink...

Lurker. Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There's no magic formula. What works with some
> women won't work with others. Like anything the
> more you try the more you will perfect YOUR
> style.
>
> Confidence is certanly key. Would you date
> somebody who wasn't confident? Women like a guy
> who is the provider and takes charge of a
> situation. A good sense of humor also works
> wonders.
>
> I have a couple of openers that work well for me.
> I don't want to give out my best ones because then
> everybody will know.
>
> I'll give you a couple of starters\ice breakers:
>
> 1) Pick out some piece of jewelry she's wearing,
> look over and smile, then say I just bought that
> exact same (whatever) for my sister or Mom. (It
> shows you care about family, you give presents and
> your complimenting her on her taste at the same
> time)
>
> 2) Accidentally bump into her, as an apology buy
> her a drink. If she's interested then she'll
> follow up.
>
> 3) Figure out something she's interested in and
> comment on it.
>
> 4) My favorite, which is not for a novice is to
> simply walk straight over and say, "I noticed you
> from over there and I thought you looked cute so I
> decided to come over here and introduce myself,
> I'm X" If she says, oh well I'm blah blah , but
> thanks, Leave her alone, this usually doesn't
> work the first time, but later after she thinks
> about it, she'll usually become interested since
> you had the balls to do that and it probably
> rarely happens to her.
>
> Really listen to her responses and it should be
> easy to follow up with good conversations.
>
> Giving a girl your number rarely works me, get her
> number and call her three days after. A lot of
> girls feel akward calling a guy unless their
> desperate.
>
> I know this sounds kinda whore-ish but spend some
> money on her. Especially flowers, women love
> getting flowers.

Sorry man, I had to bring up your advice in this thread!

LOL!
http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/read/40/54575/

I know married women who take off their rings and go to bars for the free drinks (they go in groups so that nothing goes awry). They have no intention of going home with anyone. It's a big game. Guys who buy gals drinks at bars without first assessing the situation are just throwing money away.

This takes a little practise, but may work for you

Radiophile Wrote:
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> This takes a little practise, but may work for
> you
>
>


I have a feeling Gravis's Saturday evenings go something like this.

WashingToneLocian Wrote:
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> I know married women who take off their rings and
> go to bars for the free drinks (they go in groups
> so that nothing goes awry). They have no intention
> of going home with anyone. It's a big game. Guys
> who buy gals drinks at bars without first
> assessing the situation are just throwing money
> away.

Well, they may have no intention of going home with anyone, but I am someone who has assuaged them of that mindset. You usually just have to seal the deal early so they can be home in time to not make the husband suspicious. They are quite easy to spot even without the ring (especially in the outer suburbs). My buddies and I drive out to Reston, Chantilly, etc. when we get the hankerin for some married tail.

MMMmmm, married tail...

DonRico Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> Well, they may have no intention of going home
> with anyone, but I am someone who has assuaged
> them of that mindset. You usually just have to
> seal the deal early so they can be home in time to
> not make the husband suspicious. They are quite
> easy to spot even without the ring (especially in
> the outer suburbs). My buddies and I drive out to
> Reston, Chantilly, etc. when we get the hankerin
> for some married tail.


I don't doubt that that happens on occasion. Luckily for me my wife doesn't go for that shit.

Congratulations! You found it.

oh man, I was at the bar last night in Fairfax and this girl sat next to me and asked the bartender for a beer.He gave her the beer and then he asked her if she had a tap , she said "no" and then she just sat their looking at me, trying to prompt to put it on my tap. I was like what are you drinking? she was like "oh corona". I just said " oh thats nice, good beer" and then went back to my friends. I could just feel her death stare as I was walking away. I see guys all the time, especially older guys looking to get with college girls, who will pay tremendous amount of money and wind up with blue balls anyway. very sad

Fundamental that reply was well put...

LOL tap

Jesus man...

chivalry is dead and women killed it.


"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."

None of the mating rituals have changed in a million years. When you find the right guy/gal he/she will be generous...sincere...chivalrous and virtuous. Until then you are exporing the world of greed and lust. There's nothing wrong with the world of greed and lust so enjoy iy until something/one better shows up.

Vince(1) Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There's nothing wrong with the
> world of greed and lust so enjoy iy until
> something/one better shows up.


oh such great morals to teach your retard children.


"the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish."

.native Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> oh man, I was at the bar last night in Fairfax and
> this girl sat next to me and asked the bartender
> for a beer.He gave her the beer and then he asked
> her if she had a tap , she said "no" and then she
> just sat their looking at me, trying to prompt to
> put it on my tap. I was like what are you
> drinking? she was like "oh corona". I just said "
> oh thats nice, good beer" and then went back to my
> friends. I could just feel her death stare as I
> was walking away. I see guys all the time,
> especially older guys looking to get with college
> girls, who will pay tremendous amount of money and
> wind up with blue balls anyway. very sad


Ummmmm I believe the word you're looking for is "tab"........?

It was more entertaining letting "tap" stand. Illiterate AND gives away an easy pickup... it made me LOL.

...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/12/2008 04:02AM by rrcompton.

Any woman who would make such a big deal out of someone buying (or not buying) her a drink is a woman who's not ready to be in a lasting relationship. Real relationships require more fortitude than stomaching if he is or isn't paying for your beverage.

Besides bars aren't where you usually meet the most amazing men. That happens in totally out of the way, unexpected places. Truly amazing men catch you off guard in the produce section or in the laundromat or while you're pumping gas. :)

OMG Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Any woman who would make such a big deal out of
> someone buying (or not buying) her a drink is a
> woman who's not ready to be in a lasting
> relationship. Real relationships require more
> fortitude than stomaching if he is or isn't paying
> for your beverage.
>
> Besides bars aren't where you usually meet the
> most amazing men. That happens in totally out of
> the way, unexpected places. Truly amazing men
> catch you off guard in the produce section or in
> the laundromat or while you're pumping gas. :)

"Amazing men" don't own washers and dryers?

FUNdamental Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> OMG Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Any woman who would make such a big deal out of
> > someone buying (or not buying) her a drink is a
> > woman who's not ready to be in a lasting
> > relationship. Real relationships require more
> > fortitude than stomaching if he is or isn't
> paying
> > for your beverage.
> >
> > Besides bars aren't where you usually meet the
> > most amazing men. That happens in totally out
> of
> > the way, unexpected places. Truly amazing men
> > catch you off guard in the produce section or
> in
> > the laundromat or while you're pumping gas. :)
>
> "Amazing men" don't own washers and dryers?


When our washing machine broke down we had to wait 10 days for a new one. We wnt to use the laundramat. Not only were there no single good looking girls around, but my wife commented that all the "regualrs" there drove better cars then we did. Easy credit and no money down I guess...

Radiophile Wrote:
>> Not only were there no single good looking girls around


I have a bunch of oversized blankets and comforters that I don't like to put in my own washer and dryer, so I take them over to the laundromat in Cedar Park, Vienna. It is the last place in NoVA that you'd go to check out single women.

When my dryer broke I went to the Laundromat. I was the only non-immigrant there. While waiting, after the immigrant women were nice and made the point clear not to use the BIG dryer, a thug came in toting a laundry bag. This thug was the earringed, wife beater t-shirt wearing, tattooed, missing toothed, knife scarred, shaved head kinda thug. He was quiet, and did his laundry as humbly as he could. He waited patiently with the others that Monday night watching Univision on the TV bolted to the ceiling.

I thought about it; I was there because my new dryer broke. He was there, most likely, because, unlike my home, his place of living didn't have convenient laundry facilities. I was humbled. So, thugs are people as well, and need to wash their clothes at times. In this laundromat, everyone tried to be good, and no one was judgmental towards others during washing and drying time. They were there to get a needed job done. I felt comfortable around everyone of them.

So, I can go back and see if I can find Quality "Mr. Thug" for OMG if she wants.

In OMG's defense, she was probably referring to the laundry room in apartment buildings. I believe she lives in McLean and there are mid-rise type buildings there that have that type of arrangement. Still, most people there just put a load in and leave.

Dude Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> In OMG's defense, she was probably referring to
> the laundry room in apartment buildings. I
> believe she lives in McLean and there are mid-rise
> type buildings there that have that type of
> arrangement. Still, most people there just put a
> load in and leave.


So what you are telling us is one anonymous poster knows the specifics on another anonymous poster. Wow . Ponderous, F-ing ponderous.

I am sure this would not be a case of ... oh never mind.

Note the word *probably* asshole.

OMG, cucumbers are sensual.

This girl sounds like the woman in "Waiting", the one who had a nice taste of Dane Cook's pubes!