According to our informants, Bonetti and other members of the Episcopal Terrorist Network (ETN) cell were sighted at the grand re-opening of Episcopal Church headquarters, located at 815 2nd Ave in Manhattan. Recently purchased by Robert H. Malm Investments, a Jekyll Island-based REIT, funding allegedly was provided by the Trump Organization. The building has been renamed “Malm Tower.”
Members of Trump’s Secret Service detail promptly arrested Bonetti, while Malm Investments bodyguards, summoned via a single-button emergency transmitter, quickly sprung into action, ensuring security for VIPs on the dais.
Jeff Chiow, head of the Sugarland Internal Security Directorate, announced that security forces have arrested numerous bloggers and other undesirables.
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