Bob Malm Launches IKEA School of Anti-Terrorism

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Bob Malm Launches IKEA School of Anti-Terrorism

Posted by: gkjfgbfgwe ()

Date: March 01, 2019 08:53AM

Bob Malm, head of IKEA’s wildly successful Malm line of bespoke furniture and adult diapers, today announced that the company has launched a new anti-terrorist training program. Operated by the Bob Malm Center for International Security, the program offers hands-on training for members of the clergy, as well as affordable products to help combat terrorism.

“Our Malm Junior Warrior Anti-Terror Kit includes everything newly ordained clergy need to combat terrorism,” said Malm. “This includes a pectoral cross, a can of Mace, and an AK-47. Thanks to arrangements with a certain Korean arms provider, we’re able to provide this entire kit for just $29.99, COD. Plus, for a limited time, you get a pair of autographed Bob Malm golf balls.”

Market analysts report initial sales are strong, with hundreds of Episcopal churches signing up for the program, and buying Bob Malm Junior Warrior Anti-Terror Kits.
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