Palm Beach —
Episcopal priest Bob Malm, rector of Grace Episcopal Church in Alexandria VA, Executive Vice President of IKEA, and CEO of the world-famous Jesus is Truth Center and Golf Course, today announced that, despite fears of domestic terrorism, he had played golf with President Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago, sometimes referred to as the Weekend White House.
“I told Donald no the first few times he called, as I’m just too busy,” said Malm. “But after he begged, I finally decided to make time in my busy schedule to advise him on how to obtain funding for a border fence. After all, I was instrumental in obtaining funding for a slatted steel wall along Sugarland’s western border. The result was that those little brown...err...undesirables were kept out, along with drugs, human trafficking, and all sorts of crime. It’s a big, beautiful wall.”
Responded President Trump, “Bob is my new BFF, and will be so for at least another week. And he’s a great golfer...he even likes our famous chocolate cake and caviar here are Mar-a-Lago.”
Added Malm, “You can’t let terrorists win. You just have to get out on the links and proclaim, ‘Jesus is Truth.’ And the President knows all about suing people and going bankrupt, so I’m glad we have him as a resource.”