Buoyed by the overwhelming success of his bespoke Malm line of IKEA furniture, Bob Malm today announced a new luxury home development along the pristine shores of Hiller Cove, Massachusetts.
“This project represents the very best of Bob Malm: Servant leadership, compassion, integrity and diligence,” said marketing director Lindsey Malm Anders. “And being in New England, the location of our homes puts buyers beyond the reach of the long dick, er, arm of the law.”
Mama Cass Les, taking a break from her ham sandwich, echoed these sentiments, “Bob’s mother was a Hiller. Nothing but the best!”
“I’ll personally bless each new home,” Bob Malm said, as crews worked at break-neck speed to erect these beautiful luxury residences. “Plus, each of these residences comes with a ‘Bee Buster Bunker,’ designed to repel even the most determined terrorist.”
Well-qualified buyers may remit their deposit of $1.6 million to the Jeff Chiow Integrity in Law instititute. Sorry, PayPal only. No refunds. Confedrate flag not included.
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